Dear Hailey,

​I should be having you any day now but instead i'm left feeling empty. How can it be that I carried you for 25 weeks, growing you into the tiny person you became and not get to keep you? Life is so unfair. Each day that passes is another reminder. I'm getting closer to something that will never be...your expected delivery date. Does the sadness stop there? No. Every milestone, every birthday, is a memory that we will never get to share. People move on, they forget. I don't. Everyday theres an emptiness that will never go away. Nothig will fill it. Nothing can. I never got to learn your favorite color or your favorite toy, but I miss you everyday. I miss the days I could feel you kick. I remember pressing my hand to my belly just to feel it. The happiness it gave me. I miss the days I could see you on ultrasound to see how you were growing.* I miss hearing your heartbeat. I miss expecting your arrival. I miss all the hopes and dreams I had of you adding such fulfillment to our family. Your sister was so excited for you. She's so young to understand but I know her heart aches for all the times she wanted to share with you, and to teach you. Theres always an empty spot in our home. Damn my heart hurts. I'm so angry with life. Your room is now empty. A shell of what should be you and all the smiles and play time we were supposed to have. My heart just can't move on. Each day, each hour, I know I should be closer to holding you. How can I move on? You'll always be my daughter. I'll always be wishing you were here. I miss you little girl. I hope you are somewhere playing and smiling. I hope you are happy and I can't wait till the day I get to see you.

​Love Mommy