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  1. #1
    BrookeAshley's Avatar
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    I'm really not well

    I'm very scared. My mind is all over the place. I can't separate reality from real fears anymore. I wake up depressed and feel like I can't even drive myself to work. I want to lay in bed and turn off all the lights and sleep so that I don't feel. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I wish something or someone could help me. I feel so desperate for relief. Why do I deserve this? I don't know what to do.
    Your wings were ready, my heart was not.

  2. #2
    Cuchculan's Avatar
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    Fear of the fear. Is something we all have. May not know what the fear is at any given moment in time. But we still fear it. That something will happen because of how we are. Knock on effect of our fears. Think we know your main fears by now. But how rational are they? Think if jump back a good few months in another thread you feared your boyfriend would leave you for an ex of his. You remember that thread? Now I bet he is still with you. He has not left you. Thus that can be now classed as an irrational fear. Should you ever have this fear again, think back to the last few times you had the same fear. Look at the end result. He is still there. You worried your head off over nothing at all. Case of working out fact from fiction in the mental sense. Fact is you fear other judge you on your looks. Fact is you don't like how you look yourself. This is all causing this depression. The want to just sleep. To not move from your bed. But is there any reality behind your fears of this nature at all? Are others really judging you? I would say a big ' NO to that one. Nobody is judging you at all except for yourself. The only rational side of this fear is yourself judging yourself. Because of this you are feeling down. Feeling down has not just come on all of a sudden. It has been going on a while now. Think I spoke about ordinary people once. They are the people who make up life. Not these skinny things you see in glossy magazines. Most of them are air brushed images. If you work on feeling good about yourself, everything will begin to change for you. But can you do that? Be able to tell yourself that you love yourself for who you are. Reality is that there is nothing wrong at all with how you look. Even if I jump to the section of this forum were people post pictures of themselves, I have yet to see a bad picture. All about confidence to post their pictures. To let others see what they look like. Without caring what other think. Truth is nobody will say anything bad about any pictures at all. Why not? Because none of us are perfect. We all accept each other for who we are. You think you can accept yourself for who you really are? This is one of those round about problems. Fix one part of it and the rest will fix itself. I am simply pointing out what I see as the root cause of your problems. That is making you feel down. Not wanting to do anything at all. I am sure there are other aspects of things that have happened over the past while that add up too with later issues. To create this one big fear. Which is like a fear of wanting to be able to live a life without any fear at all. Catch 22 in a sense. Fear of the fear.
    The Lovable Irish Rogue

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