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  1. #16
    Cuchculan's Avatar
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    You will hear the same old debate off most people about what you wrote Jamie. Just because a woman dresses a certain way that does not mean she is asking to be sexualised. Lord knows how many times I have heard that line. That women should be allowed dress as they want. Show off what they want. Without men thinking it is an invitation. If you are heading out for a night and you dress in a short skirt and a low cut top, are you doing it to feel good about yourself, or do you want to gain attention? Open a few eyes? You know what I mean. What I wrote about will be said again and again by many as answer to that question. How you dress should not matter. Same line we are hit with all the time. Even if you walk naked down a busy street you will be told that does not give people the right to look at you in a sexual way. How else are they meant to look at you? It doesn't give them the right to touch you. To look and maybe comment on what you look like? Heck you want the attention. You are dressed for the attention.

    Latest case here in Ireland involved a man giving an interview to a woman for a job. She was nervous. He wanted to try and relax her. To make her feel at ease. He asked her was she married and did she have kids. That cost him his job and she was awarded a few thousand in damages. She reported him. Said such questions have nothing to do with an interview. Have no idea where all this is going? Will it be illegal to chat a person up next? Second you say anything to them they will report you.

    There are some serious cases out there been looked into. I am not mocking those cases. Today it is hard to know what is right and what is wrong. As a man what can I say to a woman? That won't be classed as sexual. How do strangers make contact these days? Once we could chat a person up without having to worry about anything at all. Those days as fast going before our eyes.
    The Lovable Irish Rogue

  2. #17
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    My point was that I’ve noticed a double standard in the the ‘news’ industry for example. Powerful women in powerful positions are reporting and discussing serious topics. These women are also exploiting their bodies.
    Sitting at the end of a curvy desk to best show off your legs in stilettos while allowing the camera to only show close up shots from her cleavage to her face.

    Having your own show but sitting behind a lucite desk where your legs are on full display.

    This same person is now on another network with a tanking show but wait...there’s a topic she can relate to...
    Sexual exploitation and how it effects millions of women. Let’s get special guests to appear on the show to push the ratings through the roof..

    But wait...You were the one with the lucite desk showing off your legs while discussing serious topics.

    There are predators, yes. Predators are not sex addicts. They are predators who deserve to be behind bars.

    But let’s not pretend that certain people don’t take advantage of their ‘assets’ to rise to the top. Sure I’ll allow myself to be filmed at certain angles for ratings...Sure I’ll talk about the industry and how it takes advantage of women...

    What?

    And for some reason the fact that a predator by the name of Bill Cosby, who drugged women and raped them, and got away with it is infuriating to me.

    In the end, he won’t get away with it.

  3. #18
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    OH MY GOSH! I do not know why my apostrophes keep coming out as question marks. That is hysterically funny and weird at the same time.
    Sorry about that.

  4. #19
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    @sunrise I agree, totally. It doesn't excuse his behavior, in any way, shape or form...but Louis CK has admitted that he's sick and has issues and needs help. He's admitted that he took advantage of his position of power (the women at these after-parties and get-togethers really admired and looked up to him). Not all the alleged sexual predators have done as much. I'm just saying, the first step in STOPPING being a sexual predator is probably admitting that it's wrong and you have a very serious problem. If some of these guys can't admit that much then I don't see them stopping.

    Personally....and this is just my opinion....but like I've said before a woman can show up to the office wearing a G-string and pasties on her nipples and it doesn't give anyone the right to sexually harass her or be a predator. In reality, is she gonna get some dirty looks? Hell yeah. But it doesn't give anyone the right to treat her like these men have treated their victims. A woman, imo, can dress however the fuq she wants. I'm gonna notice, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm gonna look twice if she's dressed really provocatively but just because she's dressed that way doesn't mean she's my property, or I have the right to sexualize her or treat her like she's there purely for my sexual gratification. I look twice because it's unusual to be dressed that way, or I find her really attractive (I'm human) but there is a huge difference between the two. No one "deserves" to be sexually abused or harassed because of the way they're dressed.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  5. #20
    CloudMaker's Avatar
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    I thought everyone already knew that hollywood was BAD NEWS!

    Turns out being an illuminati puppet isn't all fun and games after all....

  6. #21
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    It's sad watching Hollywood implode. Patriarchy has nothing to do with it.

  7. #22
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    Quote Cuchculan View Post
    I am not putting down people who have been sexually abused at all. That [BEEP] is just wrong. We had the first person come and make allegations about Harvey Weinstein. They are still been looked into. So far he has not been charged with anything at all. But he looks the most certain person to be charged with something. Now my first question is this, is it right to have a trial by media before you have a trial by court? Will they be actually able to find a jury, should a case go to court, who have not already heard what this man was said to have done? Thus a partial jury. Should they have a full black out on the media giving out names in advance of a trial. Then only give out the name if found guilty. In the UK a few years back there were similar claims made against certain people. Papers hung them out to dry. People were calling them all the names under the sun. Only to see some found not guilty in a court of law. One woman even admitted she had made the claims up. But the media hung this bloke out to dry.

    Now we are hearing allegations against a few actors as well. The gripe I have with this is that it happened so many years ago. These women are now in their 50's. We can understand them not wanting to say anything maybe when younger. Teen years or even twenties. Why wait until you are 50 plus? So many years have passed. Is not all abuse allegations either. Some are just women who are claiming the way they were spoken to was wrong. Sexual comments and the likes. Is this sort of stuff I see as so wrong. Back when it happened, as in the sexual comments, was a different age. Different way of living. Most of what you could say back then, you would not get away with today. That much I accept. But should it not be looked at in that exact same way? As in it was another age? I am not talking rape or sexual abuse here. Just the verbal comments.

    If you think about it, anybody could say anything about anybody. But it happened in a different era when we used different words and they were accepted back them. What next? Anybody whoever used the N word in the 70's, 80, and 90's will be pulled up and charged for using a word which is not allowed today. Where do we draw the line?

    Here is your chance to have your say. So fire away.
    Why now?

    Because it's not been ok to say anything until 3 months ago.

    I kid you not.

    As a man, you probably don't know what it's like to put yourself out there for the world to see your shame. This is shameful to us. Then we now have added shame that society is putting on us. "Why didn't you say something sooner, stupid?"

    "Well, your honor, because society has not believed women. They have painted us as hysterical and wrong. They have put the blame on our clothing, our walk, our very being as a woman."

    We have been told that it's our fault. To try and do this alone is impossible for most of us.

    Now we have power as one voice.

    And still society is trying to shame us with "why didn't you say something sooner."

    If you were a woman who was ever in that situation, you would understand.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  8. #23
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    Quote JamieWAgain View Post
    My point was that I’ve noticed a double standard in the the ‘news’ industry for example. Powerful women in powerful positions are reporting and discussing serious topics. These women are also exploiting their bodies.
    Sitting at the end of a curvy desk to best show off your legs in stilettos while allowing the camera to only show close up shots from her cleavage to her face.

    Having your own show but sitting behind a lucite desk where your legs are on full display.

    This same person is now on another network with a tanking show but wait...there’s a topic she can relate to...
    Sexual exploitation and how it effects millions of women. Let’s get special guests to appear on the show to push the ratings through the roof..

    But wait...You were the one with the lucite desk showing off your legs while discussing serious topics.

    There are predators, yes. Predators are not sex addicts. They are predators who deserve to be behind bars.

    But let’s not pretend that certain people don’t take advantage of their ‘assets’ to rise to the top. Sure I’ll allow myself to be filmed at certain angles for ratings...Sure I’ll talk about the industry and how it takes advantage of women...

    What?

    And for some reason the fact that a predator by the name of Bill Cosby, who drugged women and raped them, and got away with it is infuriating to me.

    In the end, he won’t get away with it.

    I agree that there are women who have used sexuality to advance in their career. It's probably because that's all women had to advance. Their talent didn't get them equal pay. Their dedication to the company didn't get them taken any more seriously. They had sexual favors.

    And now we are trying to stop that vicious cycle.

    In any battle, a few die. Hence, the guys who are being called down on.

    And to answer the question about why it's being done publicly.

    Because for decades (even centuries) it's been behind closed, locked doors, and see how that did no good.

    Now people are listening.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  9. #24
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    Well....there is a stigma attached to men, also. I was three, four years old when I was abused. That doesn't change the fact that it's very awkward, very embarrassing to bring up my abuse, even to my therapist.

    Because "men don't get abused".

    There is a stigma there. But I don't go around blaming women for not understanding it.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  10. #25
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    Quote Otherside View Post
    Eh, speaking of uk, uncomfortable topic here.

    Often what was happening here was that complaints were made and the abuses reported. In some cases, investigations were started. In a few, the perpetrators were arrested. But then, for whatever reason, the case was dropped and the victim encouraged to keep quiet.

    And then something happens thats impossible to deny, and everything comes out all at once. There's a big discussion into "historical sex abuse", even though half the time it's not historical and it was still happening, an investigation into why the cases were covered up which often ends in soneone being fired as a scapegoat without addressing the actual problem, and a whole load of promises that it won't happen again.

    Then another situation that's eerily similar comes out in the newspaper. It's politicians at the moment here. It's been TV personalities before.

    But, that could be what happened with Weinstein. Somebody (or many some bodies) raised it, and was encouraged to keep quiet and the details hushed up. If that was the case, it'll come out at some point. Followed by the investigation as to why.

    Sent from my G3121 using Tapatalk
    I agree. Those women who did try decades ago, were shushed.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  11. #26
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    Quote InvisibleGuy View Post
    Well....there is a stigma attached to men, also. I was three, four years old when I was abused. That doesn't change the fact that it's very awkward, very embarrassing to bring up my abuse, even to my therapist.

    Because "men don't get abused".

    There is a stigma there. But I don't go around blaming women for not understanding it.
    Yes, there is.

    .....and, yes, I have been the victim of various kinds of harassment myself. The peer abuse and ridicule growing up aside, I had to report a female employee in 2005 for harassing me (she was in a different department, yet slandered me to people I worked with) over a period of 4-5 months....all over my SA, which was EXTREME at the time (how I managed to continue working is a miracle from God). I was also retaliated against by people in my own department....who decided to believe her over me. Harassment doesn't have to be sexual in nature and yet be just as damaging to one's character and ability to work.

  12. #27
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    This fuqing pisses me off so, so much.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  13. #28
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    That I'm not "allowed" to go there. lmao.

    But other female victims are.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  14. #29
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    OK. Be victims.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  15. #30
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    Quote InvisibleGuy View Post
    That I'm not "allowed" to go there. lmao.

    But other female victims are.
    Why? Being a victim has no gender just like the perpetrator.

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