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  1. #31
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    ffs
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  2. #32
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    I'm not, Ironman....
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  3. #33
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    you are missing the whole point man.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  4. #34
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    Quote Ironman View Post
    Why? Being a victim has no gender just like the perpetrator.
    I've never liked the term "victim" because it denotes powerlessness. I prefer the term "survivor" because that shows that even though I was powerless as a child, I am now an adult with a ton of power. Power to speak up. Power to call the cops or get a lawyer. Power to write reviews, avoid toxic drama, and to say no.

    Calling myself a victim today would agree with my abusers and bullies that they still had power over me.

    So even though the media is using the term to describe these past experiences, these people coming forward are brave survivors who have taken back their power. I see them as finally shedding the victim role and finally refusing to be someone's helpless product.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  5. #35
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    Well, it's all a matter of perspective imo.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  6. #36
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    I mean, you can label it however you want. Labels are pretty meaningless imo, anyway.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  7. #37
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    It's just a point of reference lol. I don't think someone calling me a "victim" defines who I am. That's not me, it's a term someone else uses to refer to me in that way, it's not who I am lol.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  8. #38
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    I don't let other people define who I am by how what they call me, by what they refer to me as. My god man if you did that you'd have a really hard time getting over what you're enemies called you lol.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  9. #39
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    Anyway, the stigma that's there wrt men being abused.....really pisses me off.

    I'm sorry. No. Wait. I'm NOT sorry.

    it's not right. And on top of that, it's ignored. It's not even seen as a legitimate issue, a real issue. It's laughed at. Even in this thread, it's ignored. It's not taken seriously.

    The fact that I was punched, kicked, verbally assaulted in ways I can't even repeat here.....for years......

    it's looked at like a joke by a lot of people.

    Because I'm a guy. And guys don't get abused.

    It doesn't matter that I was two, three, four years old and defenseless to a lot of people......I'm a boy, I can't have been abused and according to them if I was it was my fault because I didn't defend myself. I'm not saying that's right, of course it's not right. I'm saying that's the way a lot of people think.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  10. #40
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    I'll wait for the rush of people to prove me wrong in this thread. There will, I'm guessing, be NO ONE that disputes what i'm saying. At all.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  11. #41
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    That has got to be the biggest double standard I've ever heard of.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  12. #42
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    Quote Chantellabella View Post
    I've never liked the term "victim" because it denotes powerlessness. I prefer the term "survivor" because that shows that even though I was powerless as a child, I am now an adult with a ton of power. Power to speak up. Power to call the cops or get a lawyer. Power to write reviews, avoid toxic drama, and to say no.

    Calling myself a victim today would agree with my abusers and bullies that they still had power over me.

    So even though the media is using the term to describe these past experiences, these people coming forward are brave survivors who have taken back their power. I see them as finally shedding the victim role and finally refusing to be someone's helpless product.
    You're right - survivor is a better term. The survivor ends up being the better person anyway.

    Quote InvisibleGuy View Post
    That has got to be the biggest double standard I've ever heard of.
    I would think that's only because men have a fear of appearing weak when there has been an offense. The reporting isn't as frequent, but it definitely happens. It's probably more underreported than male-to-female offenses.

  13. #43
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    InvisableGuy,
    I think it is horrible, horrendous, hideous that there is a stigma attached to abused men. I hope it helps you to some degree to talk about it safely here. I get it. I do. I think I understand what it feels like to be powerless and helpless as a child and then as an adult not be able to talk about it and be heard. Or worse, ridiculed?

    I get it. You probably are rolling your eyes saying ‘yeah, sure, she ‘get’s It, but whatever’.

    Don’t. Because it’s taking a lot of ....searching...it’s taking all of me to write this post.

    I. Just. Get. It.

  14. #44
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    Quote JamieWAgain View Post
    InvisableGuy,
    I think it is horrible, horrendous, hideous that there is a stigma attached to abused men. I hope it helps you to some degree to talk about it safely here. I get it. I do. I think I understand what it feels like to be powerless and helpless as a child and then as an adult not be able to talk about it and be heard. Or worse, ridiculed?

    I get it. You probably are rolling your eyes saying ‘yeah, sure, she ‘get’s It, but whatever’.

    Don’t. Because it’s taking a lot of ....searching...it’s taking all of me to write this post.

    I. Just. Get. It.
    No I understand what you're saying. Not rolling eyes.

    I appreciate it Jamie. I appreciate you taking the time to post what you did.

    I don't mean to say that everyone thinks that way. I know not everyone does, but it's enough people to create this stigma. I don't even feel comfortable talking about it in therapy. It makes me that uncomfortable. But that's just me. It doesn't mean I think it shouldn't be talked about. It should. And I have talked about it before. I just....choose not to anymore. The idea of talking about it is I guess worse than the pain of stuffing everything and keeping it to myself. Or it seems like it is, anyway. It's not that I think men who've been abused don't have the right to talk about it. it's just, personally, for me....the stigma keeps me from talking about it. I can do it here because I can hide behind a screen name. And sometimes I regret even mentioning it here.

    I actually regret ever bringing it up to my shrink. It did nothing, nothing to help me heal. And imo it changes people's perceptions of you. No, it shouldn't be that way, but sometimes, from personal experience, it does. I think it makes some people see you as weak. That's NOT to say I think it shouldn't be talked about.

    I'm sure you get it, Jamie. I just don't think everyone does. In fact, imo a lot of people don't.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  15. #45
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    Quote sunrise View Post
    Cracks are starting to appear. Even in the halls of Congress.
    I'm so glad hollywood and the congress is falling apart, I knew something crazy was going on there, and this is coming from someone interested in acting.

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