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  1. #1
    Cassie's Avatar
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    Ending a friendship

    Me and my ex who we remained friends with mutually agreed to no longer be friends he has expressed from day one that my religious views would be a barrier in a relationship or just friendship. We decided dating was not the best and like I said stayed friends. Recently he has told me he feels I have improved on my empathy towards others and I guess caring more. I started attending support groups with him and it brought us closer which was good. But well I was in the hospital for medical issues he stayed with me that night we discussed are wrong doings well dating and if we felt dating would be better now. So I gave a week to think about it and agreed to date him on a Friday by Saturday morning he and I broke up. He later told me he only wanted to date me for the mere fact he wanted to feel adult feelings and have intercourse with me nothing else and when he tried cuddling with me because of my past I couldn?t lay facing him so he grew mad. But now he?s saying he doesn?t want to be my friend something about I post on Facebook a lot or something he really wasn?t making much sense I noticed him recently expressing to me that he feels he?s going to have a bipolar manic episode because his brother is returning home and other family issues. He refused to talk to any one and said he doesn?t need another pill to solve the issue. I?m having major anxiety and self hatred towards my self as I know I made my mistakes with him as taking advantage and I Recognized that I was and majorly improved and he was the one to point that out. All I know things were going well and today he expressed because we don?t laugh together much it means a friendship isn?t meant to be he?s always had weird theories which infuriated me because 99% of them were contradicting on his behalf. I mean I guess the anxiety is coming from the mere fact I feel I did something wrong he did not express I did anything wrong just the laughing issue he?s always complained I don?t laugh I don?t smile he would bicker at me to try and smile more so I feel it?s all my fault like maybe if only I was a happier person or if I was not such a serious person. He said maybe one day destiny will bring us back together? But if it doesn?t pretty much don?t bother messaging and then he disconnected all friendship yet he did not on Facebook so I?m confused am I supposed to or is he. I?ve been very deep in thought over this he said he was scared to do this to me due to the drastic change going on in my life from my step dad having cancer to moving to my first place to dealing with having hardly any friends. I?m also surprised I am hurt by this but did not beg for a friendship most people I would have I guess everything is just so confusing and my anxiety is bad we always had good times from Dave and busters cj Barrymore?s the movies partridge creek the other mall around me bowling and or bars. I?m just conflicted and feel like I?m spewing on with venting so Is it normal to feel so confused or is this something I?m over thinking.


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  2. #2
    Cuchculan's Avatar
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    Confused because there is no real reason for him not wanting to be friends. Simple as that. He sure sends out mixed messages. Time to ask yourself is this what you want in your life? Right here, right now. Maybe you need to leave him in the past. Move on with your life. I would guess he would not even allow you to do that. He would probably try and make contact every day. Little bit of tough love might be needed. This is all about you sorting your own life now. I see him as just getting in the way of that. He obviously needs help. The only way I would agree to see him again or be friends with him is if he did go and get the help he needs. It is like he hasn't a clue what he wants. This he is taken out on you. Friends one second. Not friends the next second. Time to put a stop to it. See how you manage without him in your life. Maybe a few Months down the line, if help has be got, things might pick up for him, and you can make your mind up from there. But for now I would simply cut him from my life. Tell him to go sort his own life out. Might not be easy. But which is better? Him messing with your head or you free to try and put your own life in order?
    The Lovable Irish Rogue

  3. #3
    Cassie's Avatar
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    Thank you for the advice. I do think it is best to just let it go like you said. I do need better more stable friends but I?m sort of struggling to find friends in general. So I hope in the future I will I guess it?s like people say quality not quantity and I have 3 amazing friends right now. And they mean everything to me.


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  4. #4
    Cuchculan's Avatar
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    I could count my friends on about 2 fingers. People with anxiety issues who don't do very much tend to have fewer friends than most people. But with this bloke, he was just bringing you down. Making you feel bad. Confusing you. That is not what you need in your life. You have a hobby or anything like that? Might be a group in your area for that hobby. People who like doing what you like doing. One way of making new friends.
    The Lovable Irish Rogue

  5. #5
    Otherside's Avatar
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    I'm going to echo what Cuchculan said. This person is making you feel bad, and possibly affecting your health with his behaviour. I hate saying this to people - but in this instance your better off to let him go. Look after yourself first.

    (Also I can count the number of friends I have on one hand too. They're awesome people. Quality friends is definatley a better thing. Although I do agree, finding more is an anxiety problem.)
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


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