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  1. #1
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    Having a hard time trusting anyone

    I don't know that this is an issue for me... I mean if I shouldn't be trusting people, then it's good that I don't, right?

    The thing is, when I was younger, I found out that everyone in my life (family and friends), didn't really care about me, they just like the sort of person that I was at the time. When I changed, they treated me like trash and looked down on me. I'm someone who has been through ups and downs from a societal point of view: I've been a really good student, I've dropped out of school, I've had a really good appearance, and I've been ugly. I've seen that nobody stuck with me and treated me the same way through all of that. They always disappear or act like jerks when I'm down and try to be friends with me again when I'm up.

    Whenever I meet someone else, I just can't find any reason to think that they'd be different. Sure, maybe someone would like me right now, but it's not a true friendship or true love, because they would have turned their back on me when I had nothing going for me. I mean right now, I'm in a kinda low spot too... not my lowest mind you, but also not my highest. But I still feel this way; and I feel like I have to get back to my best before I can make friends again.

    Also, sometimes I think about a girl I dated a long time ago for a short time; I broke up with her pretty quickly which made her cry. But because of that, I never saw her mad at me, disappointed with me, or emotionally distant with me. I know it's ridiculous, but I really do want to see her again sometime, just to see if she has changed and if she would look down on me now. I don't know why but for some reason I feel like maybe she wouldn't, I know that's just a delusion, but I really want to believe that she'd have supported my choices in life.

    Idk what I'm asking; maybe this thread is pointless. I just feel like this is the biggest obstacle in my life right now and I don't know what to think about it (and this forum is the only place I can think to share it).
    I don?t like being around or interacting with other people, this is my personality. I am a jerk - I don?t mean to be, but whenever I speak up I say something rude. It?s just the way that I am. Don?t bother me.

  2. #2
    Cuchculan's Avatar
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    We have all had bad experiences with people at one time or another. But is it fair to base an opinion on a new person from those people from our past? That is not giving the new people any chance at all. They may nice people. But you will never find that out unless you let them into your life. Bit like starting off with a fresh slate. They never done anything bad on you at all. So for now we won't judge them. That would be like everybody looking at you and judging you without them ever giving you a chance. Little bit unfair. By the way we can all be jerks at times. That is what makes life the place it is. What makes you who you are. Nobody here will judge you for that. I speak my mind too. Some like it. Others hate it. Always be yourself.

    Does all come down to trust issues. From when you were younger. You say your own family didn't even like you. Did they actually tell you this? Or was it just something you worked out by yourself? Just trying to see why a family would turn against another family member. Families do fight at times. They do have heated words with each other. But normally that is all it is. Heated words. Not actual hatred. Lost count of the amount of times we have said things in this family to each other. But we are still family come the end of the day. We accept we say things. Then we clear the air. Not sure if you have tried even talking to your family and asking what they see wrong about you?

    As for this ex girlfriend? I would imagine that was the last person you were actually happy with. Is very common to think back to such a time. To want to see them again. But she would have moved on with her life too. Just like you moved on with your life.

    You got any hobbies? Things you like to do. Just to give yourself something to do. To focus the mind.
    The Lovable Irish Rogue

  3. #3
    broccolini's Avatar
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    I think it's not about whether or not they would be friends with you in your lowest moment. I think it seems like someone is choosing not to be with you in your lowest moment because you're low, but it's actually because when people are at their lowest moment, they tend to be insufferable.
    We anxious wrecks should be able to imagine well how little tolerance we'd have for supporting another person's BS life. We'd want to help, but in the end, our lives are so BS that it'd be way too hard to deal with someone else who's bitter and/or delusional.
    So, I think people often don't require you to "have it all" in order to be your friend, but to be able to hold up your personality, to make yourself socially decent.

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