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  1. #16
    Rawr's Avatar
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    Quote Frogger View Post
    I'm not a big people person. Every time someone tries to get close to me, I push them away. I assume that I should be the one to do the leaving before they get a chance to, but now I realize that this is really destructive. How do I become more "people friendly" ?
    OMG I'm the exact same way! Plus I become bored of certain people easily & start wanting nothing to do with em'.

  2. #17
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    Quote Ventura View Post
    I understand what your going though :/

    I always push people away. Even people I'm close with. I don't mean to either, and I'm not annoyed with the person. I just get socially overwhelmed for some reason, and isolate. A few people who I stay in contact with, have called me out on it. I don't realize I'm upsetting people, either. I've been trying to keep in contact with a few people as I really do care a lot and love them, it's hard though. I'm worried I will 'wear out my welcome', or even bore the person. idk, but I guess what has helped with the process, was having people to keep encouraging me, and on me to keep socializing with them.
    That sounds a lot like how I am.

  3. #18
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    Quote Ventura View Post
    I always push people away. Even people I'm close with. I don't mean to either, and I'm not annoyed with the person. I just get socially overwhelmed for some reason, and isolate. A few people who I stay in contact with, have called me out on it. I don't realize I'm upsetting people, either. I've been trying to keep in contact with a few people as I really do care a lot and love them, it's hard though. I'm worried I will 'wear out my welcome', or even bore the person. idk, but I guess what has helped with the process, was having people to keep encouraging me, and on me to keep socializing with them.
    I'm exactly the same too.

  4. #19
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    Quote est View Post
    Yes, invited places last weak-end (x-mas? party) and tonight, but opted to be alone and not communicate with anyone.
    I do this as well, I was invited to a X-mas party and I didn't go, I also just wanted to be alone and rest. It was at a co-worker's house and I was stressed out about going. In the end, I was glad I didn't go but I guess when I do this, it doesn't help me when I want to make more friends, but it is hard to fight the anxiety, that's for sure.

  5. #20
    Borophyll's Avatar
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    Yeah its a horrible habit I'm trying to break. Its like a defense mechanism I guess whenever someone reaches a certain level of closeness I push them away harshly. If I ever do have the opportunity to make good friends again I'm determined to break this pattern.

  6. #21
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    Unfortunately yes. I was starting to make a good friend from a summer job this past year and he'd ask me to hangout or do things and of course I would avoid doing so. I wanted so badly to hang out or whatever, but I would always make up some lame excuse. He was a very easy person to talk to at work, and very friendly. I regret pushing away, would have been a good friend.

  7. #22
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    I think I do. I start acting like an asshole to push them away before they can push me away.
    Keep it cool. Cool people never show emotion. Keep it cool.

  8. #23
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    I don't push my friends away but whenever I get close with a boy and it looks like it will turn into a relationship, I freak out and push them away even though I like them and what to date them! I don't know what's wrong with me *sigh*

  9. #24
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    eh people just don't like me

  10. #25
    Inscrutable Banana's Avatar Diggin' My Potatoes
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    Not actively, but I suppose people end up pushing themselves away if they aren't interested enough in interacting with me to try and get past my barrier of indifference. Extroverted people have a particularly hard time with it and sometimes take it as a sign that I'm arrogant or have a mental disability, possibly both. ¬_¬
    “Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” — George Carlin

    "If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little." — George Carlin

  11. #26
    James's Avatar
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    Yeah, I do, more so now than ever before. I had serious issues with trust and abandonment before my girlfriend's suicide....it's a million times worse now. I've got keeping people at a distance and pushing people away down to a fine art. I do it without even being conscious of it sometimes. I'm convinced I'll never have another group of friends to hang out with. And I know I'll never have another gf.
    Bereavement is a darkness impenetrable to the imagination of the unbereaved. ~Iris Murdoch

    Your girlfriend's silence might be her loudest scream.

    If you still have more dreams than regrets, congratulations. You haven't gotten old yet.

    Spend every moment like it's your last. Hug her, kiss her, hold her, like it's the last time that you ever will. Because it might be.

  12. #27
    Skippy's Avatar Pickin' and Grinnin'!
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    I never push people away. I'm quite friendly and welcoming.

  13. #28
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    I actually think that I'm kind of nice however, upon first meeting someone I seldom initiate conversation. Sometimes I force myself to. If the person seems hostile, overly pompous to me or anyone I most likely never unless I absolutely have to speak to them again. Also sometimes when someone is super successful I don't feel comfortable around them and feel too intimidated to reciprocate their friendship so these people regardless of how much I actually like them I'm afraid of and keep my distance.
    Sometimes despite all my efforts people I'm afraid of continually speak to me and attempt to be my friend and I eventually get calm enough to just accept it. I'm really not sure why my shyness goes beyond shyness. I did have a traumatic high school experience in which I lost most of my friends and I don't want to re-experience anything like that again.

  14. #29
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    I can be very friendly, outgoing and don't have a problem dropping in and out of friendships. However, I don't make close friends easily because I won't be totally open, I don't see much value in that. Everyone has their own cross to bear and they don't need to hear about mine. I lost a friend because she felt like I wasn't being as open with her and she was with me. She was right and it wasn't in me to change that. Only two people know everything there is to know about me, my current and my therapist, and even that can send me into a panic attack fearing that they will break that trust, and it will be like the mask I so manically preserve will have fallen off and there I am naked to the world. So in a long roundabout way I guess I do push people away and that's okay with me.
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no one's definition of your life;
    Define Yourself
    -Robert Frost-

  15. #30
    Koalafan's Avatar Socially inept Koala
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    I naturally push people away. Im far more comfortable being in my own little world then risking being in someone else's. Not a whole lot of people actually push through that "wall" and try to get to know me...not a whole lot of people get past that wall

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