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  1. #16
    Coffee's Avatar
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    Oh my god, the amount of anxiety. How the hell am I going to do this.

  2. #17
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    Quote Coffee View Post
    Oh my god, the amount of anxiety. How the hell am I going to do this.
    In the olden days, ships used to position a lookout in the crow's nest. His job was to make sure the ship didn't disappear off the edge of the world. Because, of course, the world was flat so you could fall off it if you were not careful.

    Now, modern day people have seen the image of the Earth from space. And the Earth is round. It's a planet hurtling through an orbit. There are no edges you can fall off. But look out after look out spent ages worrying about their ships falling off the edge of the world. An edge that didn't exist in the first place.

    I know anxiety and worry well. But worrying about this experience that has not not happened yet is basically like being up in that crow's nest looking out for the edge of the world. It's not like we can see the real future. There's loads of stuff we're never going to anticipate or dream of in a million years. Loads of stuff that could happen that we'd never anticipate in a million years. Some dangers, yes. But also many wonders and beautiful life experiences.

    On the 8th of Jan 2010, I had many worries in my head. But one of them was not: watch out! You're about to slip on some ice and have quite a serious accident. Which is actually what happened to me on that day.

    Worrying and stressing and getting anxious about stuff I thought might happen did nothing to prepare or protect me. It just drained me. Emotionally drained me and drained me from my experience of the moment I was actually in. And there's only so much time in life.

    There might well be dangers and risks and challenges. You'll meet them and those challenges and risk will meet you. You'll deal with what comes up. What if this happens? What if that happens? Well, if it does, you'll deal with it.

    There's a place for planning and sorting out problems and issues. But beyond that, the point is to be in the experiences you're having right now and the experiences you're going to have.

  3. #18
    pam's Avatar needs more cowbell
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    Here are the tips I could think of for you (hopefully they aren't totally useless, lol!)

    1. Try to think of this trip as an adventure. That's the most positive way to look at it--yes unknown things and people will be there, but that's what an adventure is all about--surprises, hopefully good ones!

    2. I agree with you that psych majors are/should be more understanding. And so hopefully less (or even not at all) judgmental.

    3. Even for "regular" people, 4 days is not nearly enough time to build up hate toward anyone, so that just will not happen!

    4. There are 2 kinds of people--introverts and extroverts. The introverts will understand you, (altho they may not show it, lol.), The extroverts won't notice anything is even wrong with you (by "wrong" I mean you feeling uncomfortable). If you've ever observed extroverted-happy-confident-social people, they kind of aren't nearly connected to others as we think. They are more superficial in their approach to things and so while we might be thinking they are looking at us and seeing inside us and how anxious we feel, and wondering about it, maybe judging it, etc, in reality, they are probably just looking at your pretty nose or the shirt you're wearing or something like that. Really. That's what I've noticed anyway.

    5. In general, people aren't paying nearly as much attention to you as you think.

    6. On admitting you're shy: Do it ONLY if it is going to make you feel better, period. NOT because you think others will see or treat you differently. You know what I mean? If just saying it will be a relief to you, then yes. If you do it expecting it will help other people see you in a better light and therefore treat you better, then I would say don't bother because what if it doesn't work, (or you perceive that it makes it worse, even if it doesn't) it might make you feel more uncomfortable over the time you're there. If you do it, do it completely for yourself.

    7. Try to have some topics of conversation you could bring up with people. Since you're all psych majors, maybe that will be kind of easy.

    8. Think of the trip as something you as an individual are doing for you self. Not just as a group thing. I can't really explain what I mean by this....

    9. During the time you are there, throughout the day and then in the evenings, remember to congratualte yourself for doing well, surviving it, etc. and reward yourself. If you happen to make some mistake, FORGET about it. It's over and tomorrow is a new day. Leave it in the past; focus on the activity you are doing now. A lot of successful people say "Ignore your failures." So if you think you failed at something, so what? You're allowed to mess up if you feel like it!

    10. Think of this as part of your "job" rather than something you have to do for school. Later in your career, you might go to seminars and stuff like that so you could try to see this like that.

    Also, are you staying in a hotel? Will you have to room with someone? My boyfriend goes sometimes for training classes for his job (he's a tractor trailer truck mechanic at a truck stop--so for electric systems or HVAC) and they pair you up with another guy from another location in the country. He's gone several times so far and each time he's gotten along great with his roommate and some of the other guys. And he is very quiet. He doesn't have SA, but he looks like he does! He's more avoidant than anxiuos. And even for him it works out and he stays for at least a week.

    Good luck! Enjoy the adventure and I hope you have a good time!

  4. #19
    Coffee's Avatar
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    Wow you guys are all amazing. Thank you for all of your help. I leave in about 12 hours, and all of the posts here definitely helped me to calm down a little.

    Pam, luckily I'm not sharing with anyone so I can get some time away from people, haha. I like your idea of thinking of it as an adventure.

    Thanks again everybody. Will let you know how it goes!

  5. #20
    Coffee's Avatar
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    Quickie update - arrived this morning and the plane & customs was ok (I thought i'd get stopped because I had a boatloat of pills, lol), i'm at my motel now and I just went to try to find the building in campus so I wouldn't be late tomorrow, but I got lost totally and it took me about an hour. and I still don't know where I am. So I might have to be a total dick and taxi it the first day which is EVEN MORE STRESSFUL because I don't want to be " that girl" that took a taxi for something so fast, lol. Apart from that, everything is ok. I'm very anxious about tomorrow but I've managed to hold a few conversations with strangers here, spoke to 1 guy about cigs and another woman helped me to find my way around the campus and walked me around, lol. I learnt a lot about her and she was really kind. I had to stop and ask directions a lot and everyone was so nice and helpful.

    I hope it's the same tomorrow. I'm on track so far, apart from the whole getting lost thing. Would you guys think someone is a weirdo for having to take a taxi to something that's supposedly 20 mins away on foot (even though it took me heaps longer)? I'm not going to tell anyone, it's just if someone sees me...

    also forgot to mention that buses aren't running properly or reliable on weekends so it's literally either walk or taxi. fuck.

  6. #21
    Antidote's Avatar Rude & Shouty
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    A taxi's not a big deal. If anyone recognises you I'd just be honest and tell them I had no idea where I was going hence the taxi. There's humour in the situation so it'll go down well. Alternative plan is study the area with google maps street view.

  7. #22
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    When I first went to London for my therapy training I took a taxi from my hotel to somewhere you could get to on the tube in about twenty minutes for dramatically less than the taxi fare. But I did not know that, I didn't really know the area or where the building I was supposed to go to was and so I booked the taxi just to be on the safe side. Nobody saw me and nobody cared anyway.

    I don't want you to realise that you'll find your feet very quickly and know where you need to get to because right now all this is new and daunting for you and I appreciate that.

    Was I anxious about going to my first psychotherapy lesson in a big city? You bet I was. By the end of that course, I could find my way there from various hotels in London with very little thought. So much so that I kept arriving early and got to know the security guards.

    Breathe and enjoy the adventure.

  8. #23
    Coffee's Avatar
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    Thanks for your quick replies, guys. I'm gonna take a taxi today and if anyone sees and asks why, I'll just say I got really lost yesterday and had no idea where I was going. First day! Keep your fingers crossed for me that either a) I am a neutral person that no one notices, or b) I make a friend. I'm good with either, lol.

  9. #24
    pam's Avatar needs more cowbell
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    Yay! Sounds good so far!

  10. #25
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    First day is done! It went well so far. The people here are so nice and I made friends with a couple of people. Today was mostly generic skills day so there wasn't a lot of interaction but I SAT WITH PEOPLE AT LUNCH AND I ATE IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE so I could bond with them a little bit. I didn't say I was nervous or anxious or anything, apart from to the guy I was sitting next to who said he was also anxious. Apart from that I've been trying to just be the ' underlying' me that is without SA, and I was totally drugged on anti anxiety meds so that was far easier than I thought it would be.

    Tomorrow there are 6 class participation assignments so that means a lot of group work... but at least I know the people now, so hopefully it wont be too horrific. I will need to speak more tomorrow but I think that now I've forged some connections, I can kind of ' latch' onto one or two people that I already know and then get them to intro me to their friends and so on. That's my plan anyway.. . do you guys have any idea on how I can introduce myself to someone that I've already seen around but haven't spoken to? Like what could I say to them to start a conversation? BEcause I can't do the whole " Hi, I'm x" etc thing because we already kind of know each others names but haven't interacted.

    So yeah, so far so good. I will prob have more worries once my meds start to wear off though so i'm not celebrating too soon, lol. Will probably also have more q's for you lovely anxiety people too.

  11. #26
    Koalafan's Avatar Socially inept Koala
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    Glad to hear everything is going okay there coffee!!! , hope the rest of the trip goes as good! Koala boogie!

  12. #27
    Chopin12's Avatar
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    youre doing fine. NOT.
    “A Caterpie may change into a Butterfree, but the heart that beats inside it remains the same.” — Brock

  13. #28
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    I hope you have a nice time, I've visited Melbourne twice in my life and it's a really nice city!

  14. #29
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    Ok now my anti anxiety meds are wearing off and I'm thinking.... what if everyone actually hates me but they're just pretending to like me? Just to be polite or maybe they feel sorry for me or something? What if they actually really don't like me and I'm just fooling myself into thinking they're ok with me? What if I'm coming across as really annoying or something?

    I feel like I've just psyched myself out totally. I bet everyone secretly hates me : /

  15. #30
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    i do that a lot. its all in your mind, trust me. if anyone doesnt like you theyre either asexual, unfriendly, jewish, communist, dont like bread very much, inbred, or named Chopin12
    “A Caterpie may change into a Butterfree, but the heart that beats inside it remains the same.” — Brock

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