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  1. #1
    Otherside's Avatar
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    How do you know if someones actually suicidal, or if they're just attention seeking?

    So bear with me. I'm sure there's been a gazillion posts on this.

    So this morning I saw a post asking people whether "throwing himself in front of a lorry" would definitaly kill him or not, with him going on and on about how suicide was the only option. I don't wanna say much about whether he was serious or not, he's posted a couple of times before about being unemployed, or benefits, not doing much all day...so maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. To be honest, whether it was serious or not, the whole thread wa sick-people agreeing with him that it would, or advising him on other ways that would definatley end it all.

    I don't mean to be harsh or anything, I know some of the people may well be suicidal and just looking for help or reassurance. I hate the phrase "a cry for help" but I suppose that's what it is. But there's others who say they're suicidal to get attention. I've seen it all the time. People who post that they don't see the point of living constantly and constantly on Facebook. Honestly, these posts make me sick. It's not that I can't handle the discussion of suicide...I can, and if anyone needed support or anything, I'd be more than willing to give it. It's just that "Oh my god, my life sucks, I'm gonna go kill myself now" seems an okay thing to say in some peoples mind, and isn't at all sick at all.

    I know starting a thread saying you're suicidal isn't allowed on here, and I know why and think it's the right thing, really. I've been on various places lately, a lot of them having the "no discussion of suicide methods" rule, even some of the darkest mental health forums in which there's a lot of people on there who have attempted. I just don't get it...why do a lot of people think it's okay to announce how suicidal they are in that way for attention seeking purposes?
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  2. #2
    L's Avatar
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    I read that post this morning and felt the need to report it. Not for what he was saying but the way people responded was sick. I can understand your question though about it is a cry for help or what, I don't know - Personally and feel free to fight me on it but would you post that kind of post if you were? where you know a lot of people don't give a crap and will respond with hateful comments, where you have a number of threads closed for talking about the same context being told you can post it on your blog but not as a thread.
    life---> <---me

  3. #3
    Chopin12's Avatar
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    I think talking about it can definitely be a sign that it may happen. It doesnt mean they will for sure, as it could just be a plea for attention or someone to talk to. But it could very well be for real, there's no sure way to tell.
    “A Caterpie may change into a Butterfree, but the heart that beats inside it remains the same.” — Brock

  4. #4
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    Quote lasair View Post
    I read that post this morning and felt the need to report it. Not for what he was saying but the way people responded was sick. I can understand your question though about it is a cry for help or what, I don't know - Personally and feel free to fight me on it but would you post that kind of post if you were? where you know a lot of people don't give a crap and will respond with hateful comments, where you have a number of threads closed for talking about the same context being told you can post it on your blog but not as a thread.
    I saw that post too and it kinda might be sick as I well, I reported it too. I'm not gonna fight you, I just literally have no idea how I'm supposed to respond to some of these people. May he was suicidal, maybe not. He's made a lot of posts lately and it could be that he was. I just honestly don't know what to think of these posts...I generally don't respond cos heck, I don't wanna get drawn into a million people telling me "he's trolling" "attention seeking" so on so on. I've wondered that sometimes, but what if they're not?

    Quote Chopin12 View Post
    I think talking about it can definitely be a sign that it may happen. It doesn't mean they will for sure, as it could just be a plea for attention or someone to talk to. But it could very well be for real, there's no sure way to tell.
    Yer, I don't buy the whole "people who are really suicidal don't talk to people about it" thing. I'm sure a lot of them do try and get help before they do it. I know it probably doesn't mean they will for sure...a lot of people with depression can feel suicidal at times but they don't make an attempt. It's hard to kill yourself, even if you want to.

    It's completely impossible to tell though, definatley online. I don't know this guy, never met him, probably never will, and we've never spoke. Even if we had, out only contact would have been online, and there really is absolutley no way to tell when I'm talking to someone online.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  5. #5
    Chopin12's Avatar
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    I agree. If someone wants to do it, they definitely want to talk about it. This is your life we're talking about it. You're going to give it up without even talking to someone first, yeah right. Ive never had the guts to do it sober, but there were plenty of times where i wanted to suicide while drunk, and talking to someone about it would have been very appealing. And besides that, not everyone is the same way. I hate the new psychological paradigm that tries to lump everyone's actions into one category.
    “A Caterpie may change into a Butterfree, but the heart that beats inside it remains the same.” — Brock

  6. #6
    Otherside's Avatar
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    Quote Chopin12 View Post
    I agree. If someone wants to do it, they definitely want to talk about it. This is your life we're talking about it. You're going to give it up without even talking to someone first, yeah right. Ive never had the guts to do it sober, but there were plenty of times where i wanted to suicide while drunk, and talking to someone about it would have been very appealing. And besides that, not everyone is the same way. I hate the new psychological paradigm that tries to lump everyone's actions into one category.
    Like you said, it takes guts to kill yourself even if you want to. Survival instinct really is underrated. It's very very rarely that someone commits suicide and hasn't mentioned it at anytime. Announcing plans...well, if they're serious about it then maybe they'll give that hidden, but chances are, they'll have tried to get help from pdocs/therapist before hand. But not everyone, I suppose. Everyone is different.

    That said, I still can see why these threads aren't allowed on here or elsewhere and still agree with it. We're never gonna know who's really, seriously suicidal and who isn't, and we'll get a spilt between people who post "Attention seeker" and those who try to help. It's all online, like I said, we don't really know a lot of people on the forums face to face and we've never really met them...who are we to say what's really and what's not?
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  7. #7
    Tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Does it matter if it attention seeking or a true cry for help. Even the boy who cried wolf was eventually eaten by said wolf. Why not err on the side of caution and compassion and advise that he seek professional/spiritual help. The first time I called for a mental health appointment the first question I was asked - Do you want to hurt yourself or anyone else. I would not want on my conscience that I gave a flip response and then find out the person went through with it, if I know the person or not.
    Never be bullied into silence.
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    Define Yourself
    -Robert Frost-

  8. #8
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    Sometimes it is hard to really tell.

    I have a friend who called me once in the middle of the night, said she was going to kill herself, then hung up the phone...and wouldn't answer it for 45 mins. I was panicking, and didn't know what to do.

  9. #9
    Tinkerbell's Avatar
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    I work in social services and we are trained to treat every suicidal threat/comment as credible and to act on it, we are mandated reporters. If I don't I will lose my job, be put on a registry and will not be eligible to work in the field again. The best advice is to get them in touch with a suicide help line, they are trained to deal with these type of situations.
    Never be bullied into silence.
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  10. #10
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    Most people who are serious about doing it wont say a word. There might be subtle clues, perhaps even a note left, but someone who wants to succeed will just do it.
    "You can never really know a person and if you think you can, you're living in a fucking dream world!" David Fisher, Six Feet Under

  11. #11
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    According to the CDC, NIMH and NAMI, 80% of people who complete suicide told at least one other person that they were thinking about it;if they have tried suicide once there is usually another attempt - typically within 3 months; with each attempt a person’s chance of completing suicide increases; the vast majority of people who are suicidal do not want to die, they are in pain and want the pain to stop; there are almost always warning signs. Not all suicide deaths are preventable, but a vast majority of people can be helped. The sources mentioned are reliable, credible and not given to hyperbole.
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no one's definition of your life;
    Define Yourself
    -Robert Frost-

  12. #12
    kc1895's Avatar KFC Hipster
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    I don't like this topic. SO triggering!

  13. #13
    Sadok's Avatar
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    If he is actually suicidal he won't whine about it to anyone because the answers that everyone will give him are so predictable,plus he has already made his mind.Attention seekers , tend to post it on forums and tell their friends.
    "Great minds discuss ideas.
    Average minds discuss events.
    Small minds discuss people." -Eleanor Roosevelt

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    Antidote's Avatar Rude & Shouty
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    Quote Tinkerbell View Post
    According to the CDC, NIMH and NAMI, 80% of people who complete suicide told at least one other person that they were thinking about it;if they have tried suicide once there is usually another attempt - typically within 3 months; with each attempt a person’s chance of completing suicide increases; the vast majority of people who are suicidal do not want to die, they are in pain and want the pain to stop; there are almost always warning signs. Not all suicide deaths are preventable, but a vast majority of people can be helped. The sources mentioned are reliable, credible and not given to hyperbole.
    That was interesting information, thanks.
    When it comes to people who threaten suicide and appear to be lapping up the attention, I don't doubt that they're still in some kind of distress, or have some other serious mental health problems. A lot are impulsive, with poor mood regulation and don't think twice about the consequences of making halfhearted suicide threats. They may underestimate the impact this has on other people because they feel inconsequential anyway. I used to do this to some extent. Not post suicide threats, but I'd make morose posts (years ago), which in a way was actually part of my warped sense of humour. But it took me a while to get that others were a little concerned by this. I honestly thought my posts would go unnoticed, but I stopped eventually when I realised they weren't always. Beside this though, if someone is claiming they're suicidal, even if it seems impulsive and melodramatic, it needs to be taken seriously. Some people do commit suicide on impulse.

  15. #15
    Otherside's Avatar
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    Yeah this probably wasn't the best thread for me to start on here, and it still seems to be pretty active. For the record, Id never tell anyone theyre attention seeking. Probably come across as a cold [BEEP] on this thread, but I'm really not. Still that thread I saw whenever it was on SAS made me sick. If someone is suicidal, how is telling them which method has the most chance of success gonna help? That guy could have been seriously suicidal.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


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