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  1. #1
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    How does one parent or act as an authority figure to teenagers?

    I am going crazy.

    For some of you who have followed my posts, my sister and her five kids moved into the house last year. Well, the girls are ages 13 (almost 14), 12 (almost 13), and 10 (almost 11.) And they are simply driving me crazy.

    I generally don't know how to discipline them. I'm the "cool uncle", which means that I'm generally who they come to for fun, and then they push the boundaries...and they don't listen to me, because I have trouble saying no. They walk all over me, and I don't know how to stop it.

    Anyway, how do you handle kids in this age group? I gave everyone a run for their money when I was a teenager, but I'm 30, and I simply can't relate to whatever is going through their heads anymore!

  2. #2
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    Quote WintersTale View Post
    I am going crazy.

    For some of you who have followed my posts, my sister and her five kids moved into the house last year. Well, the girls are ages 13 (almost 14), 12 (almost 13), and 10 (almost 11.) And they are simply driving me crazy.

    I generally don't know how to discipline them. I'm the "cool uncle", which means that I'm generally who they come to for fun, and then they push the boundaries...and they don't listen to me, because I have trouble saying no. They walk all over me, and I don't know how to stop it.

    Anyway, how do you handle kids in this age group? I gave everyone a run for their money when I was a teenager, but I'm 30, and I simply can't relate to whatever is going through their heads anymore!
    Well, first know that you're not alone. Anyone who has been around teenagers can relate.

    I've worked with teens for almost 25 years and no, it's not easy.

    I've found what worked with me was firm, gentle boundaries with consequences. That helps them feel safe but free. I don't talk "to" them. I talk "with" them about what I expect and why I expect it. Once they see why I have a rule, I ask them to help me figure out a way they can stay within those boundaries. I put the responsibility of keeping the peace on them because they made the rule (and consequences) with me.

    Then I sit back and hold them to the consequences.

    I listen. Understand. Put boundaries. And give them lots of space to explore the world.

    In other words................good luck! You'll need it.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  3. #3
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    Thanks Ventura and Chant.

    I guess I'd better stick to the cool uncle bit, and let my sister handle the discipline. It's just frustrating.

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    Quote WintersTale View Post
    Thanks Ventura and Chant.

    I guess I'd better stick to the cool uncle bit, and let my sister handle the discipline. It's just frustrating.
    And a lot safer to go that route.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  5. #5
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    Quote chantellabella View Post
    And a lot safer to go that route.

    LOL@ that.

  6. #6
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    I don't get the joke?

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