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  1. #31
    L's Avatar
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    Im afraid you'll run away if I told you everytime I was feeling crap
    life---> <---me

  2. #32
    shelbster18's Avatar I'm a gangsta crayon.
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    Quote shelbster18 View Post
    I don't understand why you won't text me anymore. You're a good online friend. =( I liked it when we texted every day. I feel like I can put my complete trust in you. We're always really open with each other. It's been almost 3 days now. You are one of the nicest people I've ever come across and you're so understanding.
    Just when I thought you weren't going to text me, you text me again. :'D

  3. #33
    Koalafan's Avatar Socially inept Koala
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    I really miss the days where we would talk every day . Ever since we went out things have never been the same between us and I really hate that, I miss having you as a friend and someone I can talk to. I really wanna fix this between us cause I dont wanna lose you

  4. #34
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    You're fired.
    “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi

  5. #35
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    I want you to only come to therapy on the days I don't have to go to work. Or at night after work. I can't deal with this right before work. If you can't accommodate this, then let me find somebody else. It hurts more to deal with it then stuff it, than it does to not deal with it at all.

    How am I supposed to let go of the entire defense mechanism I've had my whole life, let my brain literally fall apart, and then go be some normal person who needs to hold down a job?? It's no wonder you said many people with DID can't work. I can see why not. Do you want me to survive?? Then back off, Beth!!! Just back off!!!
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  6. #36
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    Just read something somewhere (not here) that made me wanna puke.


    "B" shut the f*ck up, you whiny baby!!!! Accept the consequences of your stupid decisions!!!
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  7. #37
    IllusionOfHappiness's Avatar killer of conversations
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    Please don't tempt me with the "let's both quit today!" jokes. Don't tempt me. I'm serious. I'm not in a very good state of mind lately to be making any major decisions. And the thought of quitting? I'm terrified of how it makes me feel. It makes me feel happy and I can't have that. At least not yet. It makes me sad they weren't fair to you, and our boss lied to your face. Every time I think someone is half decent they turn around and do something like this. Most people aren't as kind as you. You don't deserve what was thrown at you - none of us do, really.

    ---

    I feel better knowing I opened up to you a bit, but you unintentionally made me feel worse. Or maybe it's just that I don't like talking about my problems. I don't know. I know you want to help. I also know the second I say anything actually profound and truthful I'm going to bawl because it all just gets to be too much sometimes. Now is one of those times and I'd like to avoid the embarrassment.

  8. #38
    JustGaara's Avatar Hurt Good.
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    Dear boy, you are so cute and smart, I'm not sure how I never noticed you in class all semester. Also, I can't believe you even took the time out to talk to me today. I hope you sit next to me next semester in class

    Dear girl... You hugged me today and I was awkward about it but I couldn't have been happier. I like you a lot and I hope that we will see each other more in the future. I really like that you're an introvert too and that you're really smart. I admire how open you are about your appreciation of me and I wish I could be more open about how I feel about you. I hope you come to school later so I can see you again.
    I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl who's still around the morning after...

  9. #39
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    You know it hurt like hell when you said what you said to me. I was literally terrified to the point that I got in my car and drove around my neighborhood afraid to go home. Why? Because I knew I sounded crazy and for some reason I thought you were sending a police after me. I know that sounds crazy and paranoid, but yeah, that's what's going on inside my brain. I get it that you get frustrated. What I don't get is that I've been talking to you for 8 years now and every time I really needed help I was blown off. Believe me, I will never be dependent on you for anything. I never was and never will because I've been there done that with the other therapists who screwed me up immensely. I'm sorry for being flawed. I can't be strong every blessed second of my life. Believe me though. I will never be vulnerable again. I will not let you, nor anyone else hurt me. Everyone in my entire system, is hurt and doesn't want to talk to you or anyone else about anything that matters now. It's like this. I have spent a lifetime of "sucking it up." So yeah. I got this. I've always had this. And I don't need you or anybody else for anything. Your statement didn't "shock me back to reality." It didn't "ground me." It hit me like a ton of bricks. It said, "hey you know what? I don't have time for your problem." I think you're going to have to stand in line for that one. There's a lifetime of people who've told me that ahead of you. I frickin have other people's thoughts in my head. I'm sorry if that seems normal to you. Try suddenly having 8 or 9 or 20 people's thoughts happen in your head at the same time. Let me know how calm and responsible you feel and think at that point ok? Oh and you have to go to work while that's happening too. And don't forget to put a frickin smile on your face because you have to tell the public that all is well in your world. Yeah, I get that when you're a therapist you do that everyday. I did that myself when I had clients. But seriously? Your timing sucks. But don't worry. I won't bother you anymore with anything. I'm sure you have plenty of people bothering you, so having one less bother will be a blessing. And to be honest, I don't know what to do. I feel betrayed, hurt, mistrustful and just plain unwanted. But hey. I'm used to it. I'll get over it. I always do. The worst part about this whole thing is as I sit and bleed, I am berating myself for being a coward, for engaging in self-pity, and for being weak. See? I don't even allow myself to hurt without punishing myself for my weakness. I guess I don't even think I deserve to feel hurt. I mean, after all, my feelings don't matter. Right? man I really hate me.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  10. #40
    Coffee's Avatar
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    I don't feel like it's particularly fair of you to pop back into my life when you need me and then go away when you get bored or whatever.

    And the most fucked up thing is that the above sentence is directed at two separate people in my life right now. Maybe this is just what I deserve. Maybe you are right, I am too messed up. Maybe I don't deserve a healthy relationship ever. Maybe I have nothing to offer anybody. Maybe this is just what it is. Maybe I should just fucking give up.

    I don't know what either of you want from me, but person A, you were so mean in the past, and I just rolled over and took it... and person B, you are so non-committal (if that's even a word) and so unfair.

    This is just ... it. I guess. This is all I'm ever going to get. I don't think that I deserve more. Obviously I don't, because there has never been anybody in my life that I have loved/that has loved me that hasn't ripped me apart at one point or another. I guess I'm just eternally fucked up then.

    I'm just a fucking stupid idiotic [BEEP] ridiculous insane fool.

    Person A, I don't know what to do with you. Person B, fucking hell, I want you so badly, and you said you wanted me too... but obviously not. Thanks for lying to my fucking face and making me believe I deserved you. Please tell me this was all just an elaborately cruel game you were playing, because that's the only thing that could possibly make sense at this point...

    Fuck.

  11. #41
    IllusionOfHappiness's Avatar killer of conversations
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    Maybe you were right. Scratch that, you were right on many counts. And under different circumstances maybe it would have worked. I hate to think about it. I'm sure you hate it more. I'm so sorry. I really am. I don't know how else to say it. It's all so confusing and frustrating.

    ====

    When this is all over, do you wanna just go let loose somewhere with me? Just us? None of your buddies, no boyfriends. Just us? Could we do that? I feel like we had a connection I didn't have with anyone else. I would have never expected to be opening up to you about my anxiety. We need to be friends. We just do. Let's go party and forget that awful place. =p

    ====

    Looks like I had enough anyway! I really hope you find another job for your mother's sake. I leave next Friday and I don't know where you're at in all of this...but don't let them push you around anymore.

  12. #42
    Koalafan's Avatar Socially inept Koala
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    Oh dear god I cant believe you unbanned your account....you're a terrifying person and I still cant get passed the things you did to some close friends of mine

  13. #43
    JustGaara's Avatar Hurt Good.
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    It's not fair that you take advantage of my kindness by throwing all the work on me. I understand that you have a lot of other work (I do too, welcome to grad school), but if that was the case, why not say so from the beginning? That would have made a lot more sense than volunteering to do something, only to end up not doing it, ignoring my texts all day and forcing me to complete your part instead of studying for my exam.

    This situation we're all in is fucked up, but that doesn't mean that you can [BEEP] on me like that. You have one more time before I quit and leave all that [BEEP] on you without a second thought.
    I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl who's still around the morning after...

  14. #44
    shelbster18's Avatar I'm a gangsta crayon.
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    I hate how you go days without talking to me online and then you all of a sudden start talking to me again. =[ We haven't talked since Monday. Are you okay?

  15. #45
    IllusionOfHappiness's Avatar killer of conversations
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    Ugh, this again. Nobody swiped the cards for you so don't complain when you're broke this season. It's not fucking rocket science to live within your means.

    ----

    Let's make a pact. You quit stressing, and so will I. I've seen, heard, and experienced too many first hand screwed up events to join in when you claim the usual stupid [BEEP] is keeping you awake. I could probably coach you at least somewhat but you don't want to listen.

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