So why does it annoy me when people suggest treatment?

[Chloe]

I've had people tell me all sorts as well and it annoys me especially when they hear that things of sexual themes are a trigger for me. I've been told to do certain acts on myself, get over myself, go out more, stop having sex all together or take things slowly.
And to all of them I've had to say: eww no, say nothing at all because it upset me that the person thought it was an attention thing when I was telling everyone to stop talking about a panic attack I had in front of them, I don't want to not because of anxiety but because I've got that much going on, and I'm not letting the anxiety change how I lve my life, and that's what I did in the first place. All useless and unhelpful and in some causes hurtful


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[luvcuddling2]

@Chloe-I am extremely inexperienced intimacy-wise. I have had advice about anything and everything related to sexuality, especially concerning my non-mainstream needs and desires. I should go experience this or that. Go get a call girl or pay for my non-mainstream needs to be met. You name it. . .it has been suggested to me. I have a lot of fears regarding intimacy, especially since so much emphasis is placed upon performance and perfection.

In some ways it is true. . .I should take the initiative to become more comfortable within myself so I can become more comfortable with another individual intimacy-wise.

However, with our anxiety and/or panic attack issues, it is difficult for others to understand what we are going through and it is even more difficult to explain our emotions and feelings to someone who either doesn't understand or refuses to listen. Sometimes when someone says to you. . .'get some help with that'. . .you almost feel like saying in return. . .'get some help with understanding what a panic attack is'. . .once that understanding is attained, it will become a lot easier to be comfortable not only within yourself but with another individual intimacy-wise.

Best wishes to you!

[nothing]

It's extremely difficult to discuss, even on an anonymous forum, but the sexual subjects trigger my anxiety too. I'm also extremely inexperienced, completely inexperienced actually, except for some sexual abuse when I was a child, and when I had a few "friends" they made those horrible suggestions too; "you just need to get laid", "go get a prostitute" etc. No wonder I completely stopped talking about it, I can't even bring it up with my therapist, I can't discuss it with ANYONE face to face. It's awful and the thoughts plague me almost 24/7, but I don't think I'll ever be able to discuss it.

As for the diet helping, that isn't true at all, not in my case anyway. I've been eating all organic food for months now and while I have lost weight and I'm a LOT more physically healthy, I don't feel any different emotionally/psychologically. Some people have said to wait and it will eventually help, but I honestly feel that they're full of shit. The same idiots said it would help almost immediately but then changed their story to it will help in a month when I mentioned that it wasn't helping. After a month, they changed their story to it wiil help in two months etc; they kept extending the time frame each time I wasn't seeing results; they started to sound like my horrible therapist I had years ago who told me to keep taking the Paxil for a while before I saw results, even though I told her it was causing suicidal ideation. The good food obviously isn't causing suicidal thoughts and I will keep up the healthy diet because as I said I am a lot more physically healthy, I just don't think it helps my mental state.

This reply was too long, sorry about that, I'm just panicking and I had to get that out now or else I'd never be able to mention any of it. I won't read over it before posting because I'll just feel sick and delete it.

[Chloe]

I'm able to talk about intimate details of my body or even someone else's relatively well thanks to my mum raising me and my sister to be comfortable sharing information about out bodies and not being bothered about nudity sounds weird and dodgie but it's not she's a nurse. However if the conversation turns from anything formal or goes into too much detail im ready to freak out as I have done on occasions before.
I was until 3 years ago panic free until I met my boyfriend, when people said I should go slow it took a couple of weeks before I would even give him a peck, a couple of months before we started doing anything intimate with clothes on. It took a year and 9 months before I said screw it I love you, I may panic but I want to do this and had sex for the first time ever. It was a further 6 months until me and my boyfriend tried sex again which is why it bugs me if people say about me not going slow enough.
Thankfully I don't have worries about perfection and such however unfortunately I fear being overpowered or forced, if I'm in that much of a panic I twist scenarios in my head so that one minute I'm fine relaxed and enjoying myself the next minute "of my god what's he doing I don't want to do this"
Thankfully he always asks what happened or what he did wrong, when I'm panicking hell talk to me, try and stroke my arm shoulder or hand if I'll let him last time he was tree counting trying to get me doing it with him (he's only ever heard me count once) I always feel sorry for whatever idiot tried to blame him for my panics
I don't see how a call girl would help any it's more pressure because it's something you'd keep a secret (because of the illegality of it) then again it's same as doing acts to yourself

I'm not comfortable with myself and I never will be thanks to 7 years of bullying but I'd imagine in your case that would be key (nearly made a suggestion the but spotted the title of the thread oops haha)

It defiantly is difficult for others to understand. In my dad's own words "that's not right your so collected and together there's something wrong in your head" it can be hard if they didn't even know. Thankfully there are the few who can and do understand to the best of their abilities. Unfortunately 'help' doesn't always help either. I went to counselling over three 3 years I've had panic attacks I had already progressed through many of the introductory and middle ground of the sessions through self analysis of what my fears were why I thought that what causes them and similar themes
I was a bit worried about mentioning it to the counsellor, when she asked me to make a log of what caused my panics, when I panicked, what was happening at the time etc I would have to censor it. Not looking at her in sessions helped a lot but she did take it remarkably well and was a lovely lady

Sorry if this is all mishmasshed I tried following it down the page but I am dumb so it might confuse you xD


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[nothing]

I was a bit worried about mentioning it to the counsellor, when she asked me to make a log of what caused my panics, when I panicked, what was happening at the time etc I would have to censor it.

I do the exact same thing, I'm supposed to be making a note of what triggers my anxiety, but I always censor it because I'm terrified of mentioning anything sexual to anyone, even the person I PAY to listen to my craziness.

[Chloe]

I didn't have to pay I got six sessions with college before I'd have to go to the doctors and get refered which I did about 4 months ago... I was meant to hear from them a week after appointment at most -.-.

I'm sure the more open the more help she can offer. Can always message me if you want to talk since were in similar boats


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[nothing]

I'm sure the more open the more help she can offer. Can always message me if you want to talk since were in similar boats

Ohh yeah, I know I have to be more open before I actually make any progress, but I won't be. I always tell myself "I'm going to talk more and be honest" before I go to my appointments, but I always freeze up in the office and I can't say anything. It's frustrating and I don't think I'll ever be able to do it. I'll never trust anyone ever again and I'll die miserable and alone.

I appreciate the offer, but I won't be messaging you. Once again, I can't ever discuss my issues with anyone person-to-person, it's just too unpleasant. Feeling isolated and miserable is unpleasant too, but I don't know, I just can't seem to open up to anyone, even in private messages.

[Chloe]

Ohh yeah, I know I have to be more open before I actually make any progress, but I won't be. I always tell myself "I'm going to talk more and be honest" before I go to my appointments, but I always freeze up in the office and I can't say anything. It's frustrating and I don't think I'll ever be able to do it. I'll never trust anyone ever again and I'll die miserable and alone.

I appreciate the offer, but I won't be messaging you. Once again, I can't ever discuss my issues with anyone person-to-person, it's just too unpleasant. Feeling isolated and miserable is unpleasant too, but I don't know, I just can't seem to open up to anyone, even in private messages.

i get that, generally i don't worry talking to people too much on here since everyone has some issue or another and can always relate in some ways. i always feel physically sick and shakey if i have to tell someone who wont or i dont think will relate in case they take it the wrong way or say im being pathetic or take the piss or whatever. i'm sure you'll make progress some day its just one of those things that takes time