As suggested (or insisted ) by my therapist, I looked into a Mindfulness and Meditation group to help with my OCD, anxiety, and depression. She told me that one of her clients found it really helpful. I found a Meetup group nearby and convinced myself to go without any expectations, and I won't have to go back if it wasn't for me. I wore comfortable yoga pants and brought a mat as suggested. It was going to be 1.5 hours, which wasn't that long considering I don't move for hours at work sometimes.
As I sat up and began breathing, I sensed tension in my back already, while forcing myself to relax. The instructor started talking about mental thoughts and where they originate from and to focus on that particular thought, where the thought arises from, and how it disappears. He spoke of really abstract concepts, while telling us to let go of any tension or resistance in our bodies. After 15 mins or so my leg started to cramp from sitting cross-legged. I moved my leg and arched my back to relieve the tension throughout the session. Almost everyone just stayed still.
Soon enough, my thoughts kicked in telling me to run out of the room, to scream, to move, or do something. He addressed the resistance within our minds to remain still, knowing it would be there. I had no idea it would be so hard to remain still and lose focus so easily, especially when there's nothing to focus on! The more I thought about having to remain still for 1.5 hours, the harder it became. Good thing the class was only an hour long.
I'm not sure about going back anymore. I appreciated the idea of meditation and how it can be important towards personal growth and mental health. It was just... so hard.
Holy cracker jacks! It's usually recommended that when you first start meditating you start out at about 10 minutes....an hour plus seems wayyy over the top and it's not surprising what so ever it turned out to be a really difficult and uncomfortable experience. Usually you start low, and then slowly work your way up. Hell I would say the vast majority of people who meditate don't go beyond 20-25 minutes because then it just seems impractical if you want to do it on a regular basis (especially if you have a busy schedule). Though I have to commend you for actually being able to do it the entire time!
Yeah I'm pretty sure I'd just have massive leg cramps and my butt would fall asleep after that lol. I don't blame you for not wanting to go back! What Koalafan mentioned sounds way more comfortable.
) by my therapist, I looked into a Mindfulness and Meditation group to help with my OCD, anxiety, and depression. She told me that one of her clients found it really helpful. I found a Meetup group nearby and convinced myself to go without any expectations, and I won't have to go back if it wasn't for me. I wore comfortable yoga pants and brought a mat as suggested. It was going to be 1.5 hours, which wasn't that long considering I don't move for hours at work sometimes.
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(especially if you have a busy schedule). Though I have to commend you for actually being able to do it the entire time! 
