I'm hopeless

[nothing]

Well, I'm away from home and visiting with an old friend, but it pointless. I' m still closed off and too quiet, I'll never feel comfortable around people. I'm so done now, I hate myself so much and I think this is it. If it wasn't for the fact that other people would be harmed I'd be wishing for my plane to just crash on Wednesday, life isn't worth the misery. I guess I should go try to socialize and look like an idiot again. Or not, I may jut drink and pass out. Aren't I a GREAT houseguest????

[L]

This is a [BEEP] feeling, I know it all to well. Be careful and Look after yourself xx hugs xx

[Monowheat]

Yep. Been there, quite recently too. I know how hard it is but just hold on and keep trying your best.

[merc]

I've been having problems like this for the last two weeks. Sometimes when I have so very little in common with someone and everything I say they look like "what?" I feel like it is hopeless. Because this type of response from people makes me go quiet...Dead quiet...to the point where I say nothing to these snotty people for days, weeks, months and yes even years.

My self esteem and self worth plummet and then I'm battling a depression like I am right now. I'm glad you posted because I know you get it.
It is ok to be a little quiet. Maybe not the quiet I've been, where I want to talk but can't calm down enough or get confident enough. What part of the country did you go visit?

[Harpuia]

I've been this way for the last six months or so myself. It seems like I'm never going to be ok...

[IllusionOfHappiness]

I've been having problems like this for the last two weeks. Sometimes when I have so very little in common with someone and everything I say they look like "what?" I feel like it is hopeless. Because this type of response from people makes me go quiet...Dead quiet...to the point where I say nothing to these snotty people for days, weeks, months and yes even years.

My self esteem and self worth plummet and then I'm battling a depression like I am right now. I'm glad you posted because I know you get it.
It is ok to be a little quiet. Maybe not the quiet I've been, where I want to talk but can't calm down enough or get confident enough. What part of the country did you go visit?

Yeah, that "what?" look is something I get a lot. Typically it's after saying I've never done a certain activity or seen a certain movie. Today my "what?" look was the result of me admitting that I hadn't gone to my prom. I hated high school. All schooling is a nightmare for me but I can't share that with these (slightly) younger girls in my course because they just love to socialize and have no problem doing things like sit in a loud, crowded cafeteria. Meanwhile I'm on anxiety meds merely to be in their presence.

My depression is pretty bad right now. I know what it feels like to feel out of place literally everywhere you go. Even with my best efforts, I will probably never have a normal relationship with someone unless they also have the types of anxiety that I do. There are too many weird/strange things about me that always need further explanation or I look like a moron.

[merc]

I only went to the junior prom and the only reason I went to that was because a friend conned one of her friends into taking me. After that deadfall experience I decided not to go to my senior prom or any senior activities. My parents forced me to go to class night and graduation. Since then I've never been to any of my college graduations.

I used to skip lunch in high school. It's a good time to skip because there is so many kids in that loud crazy cafeteria no one notices one or two kids missing. Generally, I would go to the library where I would read magazines. Occasionally a friend and I would go to the auditorium but that was kind of dark and creepy. Who skips lunch?

The sad fact is, no one noticed that I was missing....

I'm getting pretty old now and I keep waiting for things to get better, but they never have and probably never will. I had a pretty good time during my late 20's to early 30's where everything seemed easier. I had a group of friend during my early 20s so that wasn't bad either. After having children, I got so isolated being a stay at home Mom in a rural area. How rural? If I look out the front window I can see my neighbor's beef cows.

I'm sure you are not that strange. I actually find people who love big crowds and events to be a bit odd.

[Kaffee]

Better than the houseguest who pees in the potted plants or trash talks the host's home and cooking.

[On a level]

Well, I'm away from home and visiting with an old friend, but it pointless. I' m still closed off and too quiet, I'll never feel comfortable around people. I'm so done now, I hate myself so much and I think this is it. If it wasn't for the fact that other people would be harmed I'd be wishing for my plane to just crash on Wednesday, life isn't worth the misery. I guess I should go try to socialize and look like an idiot again. Or not, I may jut drink and pass out. Aren't I a GREAT houseguest????

Ive been there countless times, in a group of friends but to afraid to talk thinking everyone hates me because of who I am and what I look like, absolutly horrible feeling.

Keep strong but dont drink to feed your anxiety, it sucks the next day.