Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    6
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Making Friends at School/Work

    I have never made a friend at school, work or summer camp, except for one brief time in kindergarden. Is this unique to me, or has anyone else not made a friend in that setting?

    I do mean friend in the loosest sense of the term: someone you would talk to or meet up with regularly. I have never experienced that, with someone I met at school or work. Seems like a very unfortunate thing, since that is where I spend most of my time.

    Sometimes I wonder if I have to be trapped on a desert island with someone for me to develop a friendship with another person.



  2. #2
    One Step At A Time's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    4
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    I have large times in my life where I have not made a friend at school or work, but I have seemed to at some point make friends. The biggest problem I have had is finding more friends once the friends I have made moved away.

    In more than one instance I have made a good friend but then they moved away. After that it seems like i was not able to find another good friend at that job or school(when it happened in college. I am not sure why that is really. Possibbly I have not let myself be open to new people after I made those friends and left. I may have convinced myself that there were no other people that i could be friends with. Also at my age most other people my age are married and have kids so it is harder to find people that have time to hang out at work. I have made a loose friend at work since my really good friend at work left, but he is married so I only very rarely do things with him.

    Thinking about it at work I tend to stay at my cubicle and don't eat in the break room a lot. Thats's soemthing I am trying to change so I run into more co-workers that I can talk too.

    At some periods in my life I have almost felt trapped on a desert island because I was without friends and just went home everyday without anybody to really talk too. Sorry to hear that you have this issue. I know how that feels.



  3. #3
    Stranger's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    6
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    I don't imagine you're all that alone among people here.

    I've never found friendmaking easy since being a small kid, and I think that was mostly because I was in a school with small classes, and we were kind of forced to spend time with each other every day. I was definitely much worse at it in high school (larger), and once out in university, the friends I had quickly drifted away.

    These days I don't have friends in the way you describe with the exception of my girlfriend. Even though I get on pretty well with people at work, it never seems to leave work. I don't bemoan it much, though, since I tend to enjoy the time I spend by myself (or with my girl) more anyway.


    Love, love, love...all you need is love!

  4. #4
    FiestyAnxiety's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    53
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    I never have made a friend at work to hang out with either.
    It is all just the wrong types. Usually mostly males so that isn't a possibility. younger women either are into the party scene or baby scene. Older women have their husbands and kids to run places. No time for friends these days for many people.



  5. #5
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    421
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Friendships take time and that is one thing we kind of lack, especially once you get older. I've never made a good hang out after work type of friend. At work I have a few friends, but it is strictly at work. I've never had time to do things with them. I'm busy cooking dinner, cleaning, I have three kids and there never is enough time. That's why I think experts suggest joint groups with similar interests. I have never done this, but have given it some thought. I have some friends with other Moms with children, however some of these friends the only thing we have in common are our children.
    I also live in the countryside and sometimes you have to deal with "what you get." For instance I'm friendly with one or two people I'm not crazy about. They are nice ok people but will never be close confidants. I am also extremely shy and reserved which doesn't make it easy. I also get tired and need a lot of alone down time where I can really be alone. Friendships can be stressful and demanding, I know aren't they supposed to be supportive and fun. I miss having a real good friend, one I can laugh and have fun with. It's been a very long time since I've had that.

  6. #6
    VickieKitties's Avatar Living irl
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    A snowglobe
    Posts
    443
    I'm feeling
    LovedLoved
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Sometimes the weirdos I work with want to go to the bar after work, but I'm sick of them after spending all week in their company. I don't want friends from my job, maybe school would be different.

  7. #7
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,006
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    When I have friends it is because they started the friendship. I never start friendships because I am not good at it. Also when people do start friendships with me there is a reason why they do it...and the friendships don't last.

Made with <3
Anxiety Space is not a replacement for a fully qualified doctor.