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  1. #5911
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    I'm tired, the last five days or so have not been fun. Stomach issues again, nausea, the whole nine yards. I was in bed for almost three whole days and nights. It was at its worst when I drove to my parents house Friday. After a couple of hours it was obvious I couldn't drive back home, so they put me in the spare bedroom, brought me water, Gatorade, soup. They finally had to take me to the ER Saturday, mostly for severe dehydration.

    On the upside I'm feeling a lot better, eating and drinking some now. Another upside is I got a new Ipad. It's pretty amazing, I'm not even close to figuring it all out yet lol.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  2. #5912
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    Just spent all day yesterday reading the sample ballot for California. Jebus what a nightmare! 27 people running for Governor. One on a platform of "Why not?" Seriously. Another one wearing a ancient Chinese head dress and only has a #hashtag for a description.

    Feinstein running again! Good God.

  3. #5913
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    I wish I could stop thinking about sucide so much

  4. #5914
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    I feel like there shouldn't be anything bothering me, I feel like I shouldn't be feeling rubbish, and yet I feel like absolute rubbish. Again..

    I mean, will anything even be worth. It in the end? Just doesn't seem like it.

    Psych seems to think that'll settle down as I get more certinaty into my life. Hope so. This is just getting exhausted.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  5. #5915
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    Quote Otherside View Post
    I feel like there shouldn't be anything bothering me, I feel like I shouldn't be feeling rubbish, and yet I feel like absolute rubbish. Again..

    I mean, will anything even be worth. It in the end? Just doesn't seem like it.

    Psych seems to think that'll settle down as I get more certinaty into my life. Hope so. This is just getting exhausted.
    There doesn’t always need to be a logical reason to feel down — sometimes it can even be just a chemical imbalance such as a lack of adequate serotonin or dopamine production at the time.

    Hope you’re feeling better today!

  6. #5916
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    I just had....the strangest deja vu all over again moment. Omfg.

    I swear to god I just bumped into one of my exes. No, it gets worse. If it's her, which I'm 99% sure it is, she lives in my apartment complex.

    I saw her. And she saw me. And we both froze. I lived with this woman when I was 18 years old. I lost my virginity to her.

    No. No. No. Nooooooooooooooooo this isn't happening. Maybe she just looks like my ex??? Oh ffs please dear god don't let this be happening. No.

    She looked at me like she knew me. No. No. No. No. No.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  7. #5917
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    I'm in denial. This isn't happening. No. No. No. I don't even want to leave my apartment now.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  8. #5918
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    This is so, so unbelievably shocking and sad....the Sante Fe high school shooting this morning, which resulted in at least ten fatalities, scared me to death. It's not that far from where my kids go to high school. These monster(s) could very well have gone to my kids' school. I really don't understand. I get that some of these alleged shooters in the past have been bullied. I don't get how that can lead someone to snap like this, and essentially become a serial killer. They've interviewed a lot of the students and parents this morning and it's truly f-ing heartbreaking, some of these kids are beyond traumatized. They understandably don't feel safe in their school anymore, many have said they're not going back, many have said they don't feel safe in their own community anymore. Wtf.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  9. #5919
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    I'm not really sure what's bothering me. I just feel bothered all the time, like something is out of place. I told my therapist that, and they said it could be just anxiety. What also bothers me is not knowing things, I always feel like I have to know things or it makes me nervous.

  10. #5920
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    I wish I didn't have truman show syndrome and wish my inner ears would stop itching.

  11. #5921
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    Procrastination! So much to be done and I'm just sitting on my ass


    Envoy? de mon iPhone en utilisant Tapatalk

  12. #5922
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    It kinda feels like no one ever believes me on what I say. I try not to lie about anything and I catch people thinking im a liar a lot, its just so annoying and about petty things too, I feel like people are so untrustworthy and if they don't trust me they shouldn't even try to ask things.

  13. #5923
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    I am trying not to feel bad cause I haven't got over certain things like terrible social anxiety and other things. I wish most people would understand that it will take me a while and I have tried ways to overcome but I am still the same somewhat for [BEEP] sake! I wish they would realize why I push most people away so they won't deal but whatever I am always wrong when it comes to dealing with people -___-

  14. #5924
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    Last few days have been horrible. I mean, really fucking horrible. Bad enough that I've made plans to leave here as soon as I can.

    I thought that I'd gotten stable, but the events of last Wednesday have just thrown all that out the window, and I feel anything but right now. I don't know what's going to happen now. This probably won't end when I leave. I wish it would.

    And I just don't feel able to talk about this. Barely anything seems to understand quite what this is like. I guess... I guess all of here should feel like we're coping with this, like we're all unphased by what's happened. Heck, by what's still happening.

    And hell, what is the point of talking? Why would. I want to wake up to passive aggression central and "look at how much I have it so much worse!"
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  15. #5925
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    Well, that went....OK, I guess. As OK as I could ever expect it to go. The downside is, I expect the worst, and if it doesn't go just terrible then I'm OK with it. How fucking sad is that. Just "OK" is a good thing, a really awesome thing.

    I had my kids last weekend, so I took them to pick out a card, and a gift card for my mom whose bday is today, since I knew we wouldn't see her today. We all signed the card, left it at their house when we all went back home last night. I called her today, wished her a happy bday of course.

    It went OK. You have to understand I don't talk to my mom (my abuser) very much one-on-one, at all, ever. It hardly ever, ever happens.

    I wished her a happy bday of course, and told her I loved her, twice. Got nothing back lmao. Wow, big surprise there. I think it's hard for her to say the words. Words she's not sure she means. My therapist told me she never, ever, ever should have had kids. Anyway, my dad was coaching her on what to say on the other end, after all was said and done. You know, I can only do so much. If I'm the child she hates then, well, I'm the child she hates. All I can do is my best to try to have something that resembles a shadow of a normal relationship with her. The rest is up to her, and I know what she's gonna bring.

    C'est la vie.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

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