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  1. #6106
    Otherside's Avatar
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    Had a job interview today. Seized up in anxiety, couldn't remember even the simplest thing. Id reheresed this.

    I hate it when my anxiety makes me look incompetent. Because I'm not. I don't pretend to be the most amazing engineer on the planet, but I am least capable and competent.

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    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  2. #6107
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    my inner ear won't stop itching and I know inserting a qtip is bad but it feels good and the itch goes away.

  3. #6108
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    Oh goody another panic attack beginning of this month just like in feb ---________--

  4. #6109
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    I wish I could be a better mom

  5. #6110
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    Quote sunrise View Post
    Sorry about that. Interviews are just impossible - awkward, artificial, high pressure. Hope the next one goes better.




    When I do that, I dip the q tip in alcohol so while I'm scratching in there, I'm hopefully disinfecting whatever is causing the itch.
    I never heard of that, I always use peroxide.

  6. #6111
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    I don't know why I keep dealing with people who make me feel inadequete, worthless and useless. I don't know why I keep trying to give a damn. It's the same cycle, over and over again.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  7. #6112
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    Quote sunrise View Post
    I was referring to rubbing alcohol. I grew up with my mom using that on wounds (or iodine solution). She never used peroxide so that's more foreign to me.
    I know you meant rubbing alcohol, I'm used to hearing peroxide helps.

  8. #6113
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    I'm stupid. Also annoying. Wish I realized sooner.
    *Fart noises*

  9. #6114
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    I don't want to leave my house for a while, my agrophobia is getting worse. I wish I could find the right medication.

  10. #6115
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    I ll probably never fit in on this planet (especially in america) cause of my fu*ked up weird personality.

  11. #6116
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    I'm potentially having to consider paying for rent, or continue paying for my mental healthcare once I leave my job in a month, and I lose the private medical insurance. In a country with state healthcare.

    Why? Well, said state healthcare appears to not be taking me seriously. I've had to fight to even be stuck on a wait list, despite the fact that I've been signed off work twice now because of my mental health. I'm in work, so supposedly, I'm "coping" and "functioning" and "not sick enough." They dont seem to realise that that "in work" fact has been fraught with two instances of being signed off sick (one instance of which was almost three months off), and the fact that currently, I have not had a week where I've been in for all five days, nine to five in a while (I've either gone home ill, or taken holiday in order to manage a week). I've not been fired because a)I'm leaving in a few weeks, so it's currently more bother than it's honestly worth HR at this point and b)my company, my manager and the HR department has thankfully, been rather understanding with this whole, crappy year and has told me they're fine with me being off as much I am.

    I honestly feel I will not be taken seriously unless I do something exceptionally stupid (which was the only reason I got a referral to the mental health team the last time I was seriously ill).

    The joke in all this? I'm actually diagnosed with a severe mental health disorder, that cannot be "cured" or "treated" with the six CBT sessions I keep getting offered (the therapist of which, admits shes out of depth here and that i need to be dealt with by the mental health team, not talking therapies). I've been told by both my GP, my therapist and the private consultant I'm seeing that I will a)need to be seen by them or another psych fortnightly for a while, long term, and b)that I'm currently relapsing. Heck, the guidelines even state that I need to be seen by a consultant for a review of my condition yearly, which hasn't exactly happened.

    Englands healthcare system is shite. Not sure why I'm surprised. I'm living in the area where this was on the national news due to how shite it is (Southern Healthcare Trust, what the hell). Thank God im back in the middle of nowhere in Wales soon. They actually have a healthcare system that seems to work. Somewhat.

    (About the only thing I cant fault is my GP, who has backed me at every turn, tried her godamned hardest to get a referral through, and get me help, seen me urgently at times, kept seeing me routinely over and over, agreed to keep seeing me when I'm living out of practise boundary after I was forced to move house, and who has even NHS'ified the private scripts so I dont have to pay the outrageous fees for my meds.)

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    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  12. #6117
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    A lot of things are bothering me now. Feeling accomplished just to realize you failed.... even though you got a passing grade....to not understanding what life has in store for me... somtimes I feel there?s no purpose in life for me...like are world is overpopulated in my opinion and at least I would be 1 less person not stating I?m thinking of hurting my self just that I think if there is no purpose for me then why am I here... another thing that bothers me is I can?t find anyone I like and enjoy dating and the ones that I do just end up uninterested in me or making bets with there fraternity brothers over me... there?s only a few things I want in life and don?t see me getting there ever. I guess my point here is if anything bothers me is my life.


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  13. #6118
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    I'm getting out of the house more and its kind of freaking me out.

  14. #6119
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    Signed off work by a doctor. Again. The doctors tried to tell me that blips of depression is normal during a medication change, and I have every excuse to feel this crap. I know this. But it's just...I feel like I should be able to control this and manage it better. Not break down in tears pretty much every single time I am in work.

    They're going to contact my psychiatrist and recommend that I taper off more slowly than I currently am. I'm dreading Friday when the dose goes down again.

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    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  15. #6120
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    Another bout of GERD. Never knows how each bout is going to play out. Last bout landed me in hospital. So that is fresh on the mind. Go to a doctor and he only gives you PPI's. Still have some of them downstairs. Not my favourite type of medication ever. Trying to find new ways to deal with it. Only have no idea what to even look up. Change of eating diet? Who knows. For now I continue to suffer.
    The Lovable Irish Rogue

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