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  1. #3166
    Keddy's Avatar The Awkward Conversationalist
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    Quote Inscrutable Banana View Post
    While I can understand why you would feel irked by his comments, you also need to understand the background he comes from. It's not so easy to stop feeling like you can't be outwardly expressive of your sexuality when you grew up in an environment that strongly discourages it. As for the stuff about looking masculine, that may just be his preference; it takes two to tango, and while no one should be expected to drastically change who they are to appease their partner, it can be beneficial to make small changes to cater to their tastes. Perhaps you should tell him how his comments make you feel, but at the same time ask him to elaborate on them so you can understand why he made them in the first place and maybe you'll get a deeper understanding of his thought process and possibly even come up with some sort of compromise.
    Thank you for the advice, Banana. You're very wise and I admire that about you- while I am very intelligent, I lack common sense and tend to go overboard about everything. You're a much better "thinker" than I am, if that makes sense. In other words, you have a clearer head than I do. I like the way you handle things.
    With that said, I did have the discussion with my boyfriend (before I read your response- your comment will actually be helpful in a longer conversation I'll have with him later). He admitted he's been too hard on me and he's overreacting. He said he's just going to have to get used to society being more accepting of gays over here in the US (he's lived here for a long time but his head is still in Poland I guess) and he's going to try to be a bit more open about his own sexuality.
    So we have reached a compromise.
    And once again, I thank you for the advice. Will talk with him more later.
    "It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

  2. #3167
    Keddy's Avatar The Awkward Conversationalist
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    Quote QuietCalamity View Post
    I'm sorry you're going through that, on top of everything. It's not childish at all to feel like bad things like drug doses aren't a "real" things that could happen to us or our loved ones. I think nearly all of us feel that way whenever something like that happens, no matter how old we are. Hugs.
    Quote Inscrutable Banana View Post
    It's not something you're familiar with, so it's no surprise you'd be pretty shocked at such a thing happening. It's unfortunate that you've been exposed to it in such a sudden and personal way, and it's totally understandable that you'd be freaked out and worried about it. I hope your ex recovers soon.
    Thank you guys
    Unfortunately it's not looking good for him right now but I'm going to have to work on accepting the outcome, whatever it is. I'm preparing myself for it to go in either direction, good news or bad news. I'm just praying for him a lot.
    I do feel childish for thinking the way I do, but at the same time I'm grateful for never having been exposed to drugs. I just hope the best for Dominic, he's a total sweetheart and very misunderstood and a bit sick in the head (not in an insulting way, he just needs some TLC and some professional help). I just hope he recovers. It would hurt a lot of people if we lost him.
    "It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

  3. #3168
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    Quote Keddy View Post
    Thank you for the advice, Banana. You're very wise and I admire that about you- while I am very intelligent, I lack common sense and tend to go overboard about everything. You're a much better "thinker" than I am, if that makes sense. In other words, you have a clearer head than I do. I like the way you handle things.
    I agree, I would probably describe him as articulately candid. Or candidly articulate. It's technical and slightly detached, while still personable. You're awesome in presenting an objective view, Banana
    -

    Those unopened emails sitting in my inbox are still bothering me. Fuck. I need to read them but I'm not ready.

  4. #3169
    Keddy's Avatar The Awkward Conversationalist
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    Quote inane View Post
    It's not in my place to say, but I secretly wish Jen would disown her parents. Congrats, hun- we'd all be there if we could!
    I second this!^
    And also, coming from a guy who was just disowned BY his parents- some of us are better off without them.
    Congratulations! You deserve to be proud of yourself and to enjoy your accomplishments! Do something nice for yourself! We're all proud of you, Smiley!
    "It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

  5. #3170
    Keddy's Avatar The Awkward Conversationalist
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    I just found out from my older brother that our younger brother has been lying about me to my parents. I'm not exactly sure what was said but I'm going to get to the bottom of this as it may be part of what destroyed my relationship with my family.
    Also, the little fucker stole $500 in cash from me. I had thought for a while I had deposited it at the bank and forgotten, but I checked my balance and it was the same. I started thinking I'd misplaced it or that I'd dropped it somewhere or that I'd been pickpocketed. I do hate my brother but I would've never assumed he would steal money from a family member. That is just appalling and sickening!
    My older brother, Connor, told me over email a few minutes ago that he found the $500 in Kevin's room when he was looking for his cigarettes, which had also gone missing (and were also found in Kevin's room...)
    Connor said he's going to try to get the money back to me. I appreciate that at least ONE person in my family (not my family anymore, really) is being decent toward me. He took my side in the fight with my parents.
    I HATE my younger brother. I don't normally wish terrible things on people but I do wish terrible things on him. Stealing is not just a sin, it's a crime.
    "It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

  6. #3171
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    Quote Inscrutable Banana View Post
    From what you've said about your parents on here, I'm sure you weren't at all surprised by their lack of enthusiasm—I hope it didn't put too much of a damper on the experience. At least you had your friend there to acknowledge your accomplishment. Be proud, you're on step closer to moving your life forward!
    Quote inane View Post
    It's not in my place to say, but I secretly wish Jen would disown her parents. Congrats, hun- we'd all be there if we could!
    Quote Keddy View Post
    I second this!^
    And also, coming from a guy who was just disowned BY his parents- some of us are better off without them.
    Congratulations! You deserve to be proud of yourself and to enjoy your accomplishments! Do something nice for yourself! We're all proud of you, Smiley!
    Thanks, you guys. I would have totally invited you all if you guys lived in the area lol. And we would have enjoyed some Korean BBQ afterwards! omnomnoms.

    But ya, I was honestly not surprised. My mom feels as though it's "not fair" of me to be having this ceremony and such just because she never had anything like this herself when she was my age. Then she goes on and on about the hardships of being an immigrant to the states, etc. I understand that part... but she blames me, even though I wasn't born until years after she first came to the states. It's pathetic. I learned not to fall for that crap and feel guilty... because really... it's not my problem how her life unfolded in her early 20s. I wasn't even in the picture.

    But yes, I'll just disown them once I have a full-time job, or at least enough saved up to move out and whatnot. I'm trying to be in a very positive and good mood right now, and so far... I don't feel REALLY crappy, but I'm still a bit close to losing my [BEEP] with them.

    I feel as though I let my parents get to me so much that... it keeps me from taking my own life seriously. I feel as though I don't. Everything seems whatevers to me, I'm not focusing on my passions and hobbies..and I'm always negative about everything. I was talking to myself in the car yesterday (this really helps me when I'm trying to sort things out in my head), and I came to the realization that it's not impossible to live my life as much as possible despite how things are in the household.

    Just wish I didn't have to be in such a situation here... or have such parents, but whatever. There's really nothing else I could do right now but to just move on and live my life the best I can and be positive about everything -- as if they're not in the picture at all.

    But ya, thanks everyone. I appreciate the support.

    And you're right, Keddy. Between my situation and yours when it comes to our families, we are so much better off without them much of the time (or...err, all the time lol). You hang in there too, buddy. I see you've been hitting pretty rough patches the past few days.

  7. #3172
    QuietCalamity's Avatar
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    I think I've had a falling out with one of my oldest friends. We never see each other in person anymore because we live far apart. It's probably mostly my fault because I've been so extremely busy the last year or so that I haven't been good at keeping up with Facebook, remembering birthdays, and my financial situation has been a daily struggle for necessities, so forget gifts. Of course, when I would text her something like, "omg I'm so tired of not being able to afford anything fun" she would text back "I know, right??" EVERYTHING SHE BUYS is fun. She lives with her mom and barely has bills. She has all the cute things. She has never had to figure out which textbooks she should skip buying because she has always had the correct edition of all of them. She has never known what it's like to have an empty pantry and no money for food. I guess part of me really wants to let this friendship die because we just don't have anything in common anymore. And even though she is a beautiful person and a supportive friend, her dumb "problems" get on my damn nerves! "Oh no, I have too many friends! Help, I watch too much TV" But that means I'm down to one girlfriend. Sigh. I just wish I was better at making friends.

    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou

  8. #3173
    QuietCalamity's Avatar
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    Quote SmileyFace View Post
    I feel as though I let my parents get to me so much that... it keeps me from taking my own life seriously. I feel as though I don't. Everything seems whatevers to me, I'm not focusing on my passions and hobbies..and I'm always negative about everything. I was talking to myself in the car yesterday (this really helps me when I'm trying to sort things out in my head), and I came to the realization that it's not impossible to live my life as much as possible despite how things are in the household.
    I can SO relate to that feeling. When you don't have anyone encouraging you the way most parents encourage their kids, it's like sometimes the possibility that I could even attempt to do something cool or successful doesn't even occur to me. I had one of those moments where I didn't apply to grad school until it was too late this year because even though I knew I wanted it, somehow I just thought it wasn't an option. Maybe we were taught that we don't deserve to go after the things we want - but f that noise! You are perfectly deserving and capable! And congrats on graduating!!

    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou

  9. #3174
    SmileyFace's Avatar
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    Quote QuietCalamity View Post
    I can SO relate to that feeling. When you don't have anyone encouraging you the way most parents encourage their kids, it's like sometimes the possibility that I could even attempt to do something cool or successful doesn't even occur to me. I had one of those moments where I didn't apply to grad school until it was too late this year because even though I knew I wanted it, somehow I just thought it wasn't an option. Maybe we were taught that we don't deserve to go after the things we want - but f that noise! You are perfectly deserving and capable! And congrats on graduating!!
    That really is what's taught to us, unfortunately. And the more it's enforced since we were children, the more it becomes almost permanently ingrained in us it's tough trying to break out of it most of the time... but then I think about how happy I'd really like to be, and I can't be if I keep trying to live the life (of many limits) that my parents want for me.

    I'm in a down mood today regarding this. I was in a great mood last night, but this morning my mom annoyed me so I just automatically felt numb again about my life and goals. It scares me a bit trying to take charge of my own life without support from my parents. While many people always genuinely credit their parents for always pushing them to succeed and do great things they want to do, my situation is the complete opposite and it pains me. I'm older now and should just ignore them 99% of the time, but it's hard on some days.

    I'm still optimistic though. That someday... I won't have to put up with this shot anymore. But it won't happen unless I really do something about it myself and try to do my own thing *sigh*

    Wish things didn't have to be this hard.

  10. #3175
    QuietCalamity's Avatar
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    Quote SmileyFace View Post
    That really is what's taught to us, unfortunately. And the more it's enforced since we were children, the more it becomes almost permanently ingrained in us it's tough trying to break out of it most of the time... but then I think about how happy I'd really like to be, and I can't be if I keep trying to live the life (of many limits) that my parents want for me.

    I'm in a down mood today regarding this. I was in a great mood last night, but this morning my mom annoyed me so I just automatically felt numb again about my life and goals. It scares me a bit trying to take charge of my own life without support from my parents. While many people always genuinely credit their parents for always pushing them to succeed and do great things they want to do, my situation is the complete opposite and it pains me. I'm older now and should just ignore them 99% of the time, but it's hard on some days.

    I'm still optimistic though. That someday... I won't have to put up with this shot anymore. But it won't happen unless I really do something about it myself and try to do my own thing *sigh*

    Wish things didn't have to be this hard.
    Engrained is exactly the right word. I haven't lived with my parents in 6 years and I rarely talk to them, but they are still in my head like that and it can be hard to even recognize. But I can tell just from what you've posted here that you are stronger than them. We all just need a cheerleader sometimes. You can do it!!

    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou

  11. #3176
    SmileyFace's Avatar
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    Quote chantellabella View Post
    I get frustrated with people who use this site as some [BEEP] place when things don't go their way on another site. They think they can come here and disrupt it like their old dysfunctional joint. They don't don't get it that their stupid memes and narcissistic "look how cute I am" schick just looks juvenile to the people here.
    Who's doing that?

  12. #3177
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    Quote chantellabella View Post
    I get frustrated with people who use this site as some [BEEP] place when things don't go their way on another site. They think they can come here and disrupt it like their old dysfunctional joint. They don't don't get it that their stupid memes and narcissistic "look how cute I am" schick just looks juvenile to the people here.
    I don't see anyone here doing that, Cindy. They would stick out like a sore thumb... This forum is pretty down-to-earth. Would you mind telling us who it is?

    Sorry, I'm just worried people might read that and immediately assume it's them. Someone messaged me worried that this was directed towards them, and I am most positive it isn't.

  13. #3178
    Keddy's Avatar The Awkward Conversationalist
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    ^Probably me
    I think I've worn out my welcome here. I'm sorry I come across as so selfish and narcissistic. It isn't my intention. Not at all.
    I don't really think I'm that cute tbh. And I thought the dog memes were funny. I knew I shouldn't have posted so many selfies...
    I'm really sorry if I've hurt anyone or made anyone upset. I'm honestly not that kind of person. I'm a really sweet guy who just has terrible social skills and is incredibly insecure. I care way more about other people than I do about myself.
    I never, ever meant to hurt or upset or bother anyone. I'm sorry I complain so much. I'm a very hurt person and I thought it would be alright to vent here. My social skills SUCK. I am so, so sorry.
    Sorry everyone. I had been thinking about leaving here anyway and I guess this seals the deal.
    "It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

  14. #3179
    Keddy's Avatar The Awkward Conversationalist
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    Quote chantellabella View Post
    Keddy, it's not you. I promise. Don't worry. Please don't get paranoid that's it's you.

    I'm talking about people who join the forum, then their first post is some stupid meme. They don't even bother to say hello. They just go right into stupid shit. So don't worry. It's not you. Ok? I've seen it before. They just assume they can do the same stupid stuff they did on other forums. This forum isn't like that.
    Thank you for clarifying, Cindy.
    Oddly enough, I don't often discuss my anxiety on here. My anxiety is totally severe, to the point where I can't even take certain medications for it. My biggest problem is social phobia and paranoia. Because of things that have happened in my past, I am inclined to think everything is about me even when I kind of "know" it isn't. I'm terrified of pissing people off or being an inconvenience to other people.
    I don't think it comes across on here how anxious I actually am, so I'm kind of glad this opened it up for me to talk about.
    Fair warning, this will happen a lot with me, I'm always going to think I'm in trouble or that I've been annoying.
    I'm ridiculously paranoid about being an annoyance or causing other people to be upset.
    Relieved to hear that it wasn't me although I almost had a heart attack there LOL!
    I think what I'm going to learn from this is to be more direct with talking about my anxiety so people understand how paranoid I am, in case this happens again (which it will).
    Sorry, Cindy
    "It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

  15. #3180
    QuietCalamity's Avatar
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    Quote chantellabella View Post
    Guys!!!! I'm just frickin frustrated about people who just join and their first one or two posts are memes or some mean [BEEP] to someone. Seriously! If you have not done that, then I ......... don't................mean you!!!!


    Forget it!

    Think whatever you want to think.
    Haha I think since we all are such an anxious bunch we see a post like that and our minds go - it's me! Everyone hates me! I knew it! I get what you are saying and I don't think I've really done any meme stuff so I *should* know you're not speaking of me, but part of me is still thinking "It's me, it has to be. I'm new and I'm the worst. I add nothing."

    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou

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