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  1. #5956
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    Quote Otherside View Post
    Gotta go back to my flat soon. Probably either later this week or next. I mean, most of my stuff is still there and all, and my lease is ending soon, so I don't really have much choice. And I kinda need my National Insurance, which I stupidly left there. But I haven't been back since well, everything happened. So kinda nervous about returning really.
    Get a friend to go back with you.
    The Lovable Irish Rogue

  2. #5957
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    Yes. Kate Spade’s suicide seems to have triggered me. I very much tried to kill myself several times but failed. It wasn’t a cry for help. I truly was trying to take my life. The fact that her husband was in the next room has triggered me badly. I’m trying to keep it together but I’m having flash card memories.
    I wish Kate Spade didn’t kill herself.

  3. #5958
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    Quote JamieWAgain View Post
    Yes. Kate Spade’s suicide seems to have triggered me. I very much tried to kill myself several times but failed. It wasn’t a cry for help. I truly was trying to take my life. The fact that her husband was in the next room has triggered me badly. I’m trying to keep it together but I’m having flash card memories.
    I wish Kate Spade didn’t kill herself.
    I'm so sorry Jamie....news like this triggers me too. Or....lot of the time my flashbacks come out of nowhere, triggered by seemingly nothing, and I'm hopeless to stop them until they just stop on their own. Sometimes it helps me to distract myself. Whatever works....a book, a video game, a movie. Sometimes I'll go to the gym and run until I feel like I'm about to drop, then come back to my place and shower and sleep it off. I have as-needed anti-anxiety meds....Baclofen, which is not unlike Valium, is a muscle relaxant used to treat anxiety. I take that as a last resort usually. Sometimes (not always) one or more of those things helps me with flashbacks. I hope your able to clear your mind and be at peace. It takes me a while sometimes.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  4. #5959
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    [QUOTE=InvisibleGuy;447531]I'm so sorry Jamie....news like this triggers me too. Or....lot of the time my flashbacks come out of nowhere, triggered by seemingly nothing, and I'm hopeless to stop them until they just stop on their own. Sometimes it helps me to distract myself. Whatever works....a book, a video game, a movie. Sometimes I'll go to the gym and run until I feel like I'm about to drop, then come back to my place and shower and sleep it off. I have as-needed anti-anxiety meds....Baclofen, which is not unlike Valium, is a muscle relaxant used to treat anxiety. I take that as a last resort usually. Sometimes (not always) one or more of those things helps me with flashbacks. I hope your able to clear your mind and be at peace. It takes me a while sometimes.

    Thanks friend. All good advise. I’m logging off and going to read a book, Then work early tomorrow.

  5. #5960
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    Ps. I don’t think I did the quote thing right.

  6. #5961
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    Depression is being a bit of a problem and I don't think a lot of people understand that I'm just about getting tired of "Fighting it!" and "Not letting it win!" at this point.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  7. #5962
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    I'm mean I'm just so tired of feeling paranoid all the time. I just can't feel safe anymore.

    I'm honestly exhausted and I just can't keep doing this.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  8. #5963
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    Feeling a little anxious...I have jury duty this morning. Eeek!!!

    I'm actually not nearly as anxious as I thought I'd be. Think it's probably due to new meds I'm on helping me. Anyway this should be interesting to say the least. I've always gotten out of jury duty before, never had to even report for it. This time they got me, no way out lol.

    My goal this morning is to make myself as unattractive to both attorneys as humanly possible. My answers to questions will make both attorneys want to dismiss me before they're even done with the line of questioning.

    Don't pick me, don't pick me, don't pick me, don't pick me lol.........
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  9. #5964
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    I'm actually doing really well with jury duty so far. There's about 300 people in this room with me I'm guessing. Seated between two young ladies, conversation is flowing, anxiety is there but very manageable. Woman to my left has two kids, woman to right has three. All our kids are teenagers headed to college soon. Pretty awesome, was good to talk to them.

    I should be called soon. This isn't nearly as bad as I thought it'd be. As long as I don't get picked lol.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  10. #5965
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    I just want things to go back to the way they used to be.
    *Fart noises*

  11. #5966
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    Quote InvisibleGuy View Post
    I'm actually doing really well with jury duty so far. There's about 300 people in this room with me I'm guessing. Seated between two young ladies, conversation is flowing, anxiety is there but very manageable. Woman to my left has two kids, woman to right has three. All our kids are teenagers headed to college soon. Pretty awesome, was good to talk to them.

    I should be called soon. This isn't nearly as bad as I thought it'd be. As long as I don't get picked lol.
    Well that was pretty painless. The bailiff walked about 100 of us up to the 9th floor, where they hold criminal court, and you could hear a collective groan. We were all hoping for traffic court. Criminal court could be anything from criminal trespass to murder. We waited for what seemed like forever and they struck a plea deal.

    I've never seen so many people go from depressed and hopeless to ecstatic and happy so fast in my life lol.

    We all got excuses for work that said we were there until 5:00 today
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  12. #5967
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    Quote sunrise View Post
    Left my dog with my parents to go on a trip. When I returned I was horrified to see my dog covered in fleas, and worse, my mom used flea repellent for furniture directly on her skin. The can said "safe around children and pets" and I couldn't get my mom to understand that didn't mean you can spray it directly on people. In the past, she's given my dog aspirin, Pepto, and god knows what else, despite me telling her not to give her anything other than what I provide. I grabbed my dog and sped home to give her a bath. She seems ok, except she feels lighter. Ugh. If I ever take another trip, I will have to bring her with me. Not sure if that's feasible, though, as she's a pretty anxious dog. Stupid me for ignoring all the previous signs and still leaving my dog with them.
    I would be furious. My dog is my baby. I micromanage his care at constant because I'm worried my parents will pull a similar stunt. You have my sympathy.
    *Fart noises*

  13. #5968
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    My H monitors me online evan though it’s my ipad. If i’m On this website i have to hide my ipad if he comes into the room. This makes me .... searching...resigned? Yes. I’m just used to it and i don’t ever want to upset the applecart. He’s definitely calmed down in other areas but online activity is still a prob. (I’m hardly ever online and this and FB are the only sites i participate in. )Sigh.

    PS
    Good job with jury duty IG.
    PPS
    My dog is like my child too and I’m very, very particular with who can mind her if we go away. Basically I want to take her with us on our next vacation.

  14. #5969
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    ^ That's just wrong imo, Jamie. I understand not wanting to rock the boat but wow. I'm a little bit biased about my opinions about stalking people online, because I've been stalked online, by my ex-wife. She harassed me and eventually made some very hostile, very offensive posts about me on another anxiety site. They were mostly lies. And I confronted her, and they were removed.

    Anyway she didn't start out by stalking me, and making offensive posts that basically called me a liar...she started out by looking over my shoulder to see what I was posting. I didn't always log out of that site, either. But I figured "who cares what I post there, it's all anonymous anyway, who cares". Well it turns out she cared lol.

    Imo it's a way of manipulating and trying to control someone. For anyone that's not a member of this site, it's none of their goddamned business what gets posted here. You cannot, imo, justify it...there is no excuse for spying on someone or looking over someone's shoulder like that. Just my $.02.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

  15. #5970
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    ^ Yeah I can't even bring myself to touch facebook groups. I was a part of one for a while, one that formed from an anxiety site like this one. But I eventually left. I was never comfortable posting anything in there, even though it supposedly couldn't be seen by non-members. I never have trusted facebook, they have too much of my personal information. And it turns out I was right to not trust them.
    You're going to lose people in your life, and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how often you told them you loved them, it will never seem like it was enough.

    Hug the ones you love.

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