Random line from TV/movie

[FireIsTheCleanser]

American Dad

"Excuse me, but what did you think of the movie?"
"Eh."
"But how about that Jody Foster? Pretty hot huh? I bet you'd have to do something really special to impress a girl like that."
"That's disgusting. She's 12."
"Yeah, a hard 12! Grass on the field, go shoot the president!."

"Steve, I'm a professional film editor, I can do anything. Tyler Perry's movies are actually quite good before I get my hands on them."

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Mean Girls

"Oh hell no! I did not leave the South side for this!"

"My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.

[FireIsTheCleanser]

Veronica Mars

"We all saw her lurking."
"Lurking? You mean 'standing while black.'"

"Sorry to blow your mind, Veronica, but I'm a lesbian."
"Oh... well... that's cool."
"Only in college."

"I think when you get out into the world, you'll find that not all well-dressed, articulate, detail-oriented men are gay. Many of them are just Asian."

[enfield]

izombie

“did he seem threatening?”
“No, he was a wuss. it was his wussiness that triggered my vision”


"what the hell lilywhite, its 7:45 pm, are you 90? "
"rough day is all"
"im gonna remind you of something son, something you already know. the world ain't all dilly bars and debutante balls. the world throws wicked punches, wants to see who goes down easy. some people stay on the mat. not you though. you were an undersized walk-on free safety at udub. three years later you were a starter. it takes a tough get-back-off-the-mat son-of-a-bitch to do that. but that ain't what impressed me. i fell in love with the guy who could've cashed in on his looks, his connections, his notoriety, but instead said i've been blessed and i wanna give back. im going to be a social worker. im gonna be the guy that helps others get back up. i know you've taken some haymakers lately. i know this time its harder to get back up than its ever been. but you're major motherflipping lilywhite, and you dont quit!"
"god you're so weird"

[FireIsTheCleanser]

Veronica Mars

"I was hoping you could help me with something."
"Absolutely. Unless its physics. Or chemistry. Or math. Or English... P.E. I was good at P.E."

"I'm not a criminal mastermind! I'm just a painter!"
"Yeah well, so was Hitler."

"Now maybe people would say they'd never install a tracking device in their significant others car, but I think that's just because they don't know how."

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Family Guy

"Tis a glorious afternoon, wouldst thou not agree?"
"Uh, yea kind shrew. I... before thee... except after C."

--------------------------------

Seinfeld

"I can feel his blood inside of me! Borrowing things from my blood!"

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American Dad

"Hold on, just spotted the alien in a cabana. Or is "cabaña"? The kid who brought me my towel said "cabaña" but... I don't even think he's from here. Well if he is, he's not from money."

"Let me out! Or I'll tear up all your clothes!"
"Go ahead. In case you haven't noticed, I only wear this one outfit."

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Cougar Town

"Mom... what are you doing here?"
"I brought your laundry. I washed all your little T-shirts and your undies. Oh, I used the lavender soap because I know how you like to smell like a bitch."

"Okay. I've always wondered, why do you take your pants off when you pee?"
"Well, what am I gonna do, stand there with 'em around my ankles like a little [BEEP]?"

"He looks like that nerdy lesbian from Scooby-Doo."
"Who looks like Velma?"
"Ruh-roh, rits Rayson!"

"If I could, I'd have them shrink me down so small I could live in your blood."

[FireIsTheCleanser]

Veronica Mars

"So what would Stan Marsh say in a situation like this? I think we all learned a valuable lesson about faith. You give it to the people you love. But the people who really deserve it, are the ones who come through even when you don't love them enough."

"snickerdoodleme? :D"

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iZombie

"So I guess 'You are what you eat' isn't just a bitchy thing my mom says about fat people."

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Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

"WHITE WOMEN FOUND
HISPANIC WOMAN ALSO FOUND"

"Thank you, victims! Thank you, victims! Thank you, victims! Thank you, victims! Thank you, victims! Thank you, victims!"

------------------------------

30 Rock

"I didn't know this was a French restaurant!"
"Yeah, I found it on my favorite website: 'Stop showing off, Dotcom."

"Do you have any meth?... or meth?"

"Michael, are you back on meth?"
"No! Why.. you got some?"

"What's cocaine like?"

"I'm contractually obligated to pull out some [BEEP]'s weave eight more times this season."

"I'm Portia, and I don't care what anyone says; I keep them 3-D glasses."

------------------------

Late Show with David Letterman

Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "Thank you for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale."

[enfield]

veronica mars

"why are you holding your hands like that"
"so one day in your memoirs you'll describe me as inscrutable"
"i was leaning more towards bonkers"

[FireIsTheCleanser]

Community

"Stifle your slackened maw, you drained and tainted bitch-dog."

"If it's any consolation, she got me here on a very misleading text message."
"Jeff, technically you are about to get screwed in the biology lab because our final project has been destroyed."

"And who the hell are you always texting? Everyone you know is here."

"Look at me now, dad!"

[FireIsTheCleanser]

Question: Can we quote web series? Wait a minute, this is my thread, I can do whatever I want.

After Hours

"My arm is not long enough for the jerk-off motion that is in my soul."

"Michael, no one in the world owns a laserdisc."

"Katie's Little House of Pies and Little Cat Pies is going to blow up."

"Learning hella lessons, every hella day."

"BOOM! Suck on my both my tits!"

"If my car had broken down there would've been plenty of emergency food and water for everyone."
"If my car had broken down, it wouldn't have broken down."

"He's gone mad with Aspergers!"

"Haha.. I wish this would stop--"
"SHUT THE [BEEP] UP!"

[FireIsTheCleanser]

Justice League Unlimited

"SHAZA--"
"Fight's over, son."

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Young Justice

Flash: "Still we could always use more raw power. Earth does have a third Green Lantern: Guy Gardner."
Hal Jordan and John Stewart: "No."
Flash: "But we could really--"
Hal Jordan and John Stewart: "No."

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The Big Bang Theory

"That's thinking ahead."
"The alternative would be to think backwards. And that's just remembering."

"I don't object to the idea of a deity, but I'm baffled by one that takes attendance."

"Yes. This is Enrico Fermi, Richard Feynman, Edward Teller, Otto Frisch, and Zazzles."
"Zazzles?"
"I was going to name him Herman von Helmholtz, but he’s so... zazzy."

-------------------------------

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars: "After all these years, do you not instinctively fear me?"

"Sometimes a random ass-kicking's a good thing. Keeps everyone else in line."

[enfield]

veronica mars

"aren't you awfully young to be doing this?"
"it's amazing, i never get tired of that question."

"unfortunately there's no laws against exploiting horny rich middle aged men."

[FireIsTheCleanser]

30 Rock

"I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom! I once bit into a burrito and there was a child’s shoe in it! I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s. The sewer people stole my skateboard! The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor - generally considered to be one of the worst Presidents of all time! I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo… They were very drunk!!"

[enfield]

veronica mars

"this is cool huh. it woulda been cooler to have like a date but actually im kinda prouder i came alone. its kinda huge for me dont you think? its like im evolving."

"last week at karaoke i did cant get you out of my head and i dedicated it to this table of cute guys but then i realized they weren't cute. they were dweeby pan high guys and not the nice nerd kind but the weird and creepy..."
"...potential stalker kind?"

"i hate fake deer too. every time i see their stupid faces i wanna grab a shotgun and go all cheney on them."

[enfield]

veronica mars

"mac, he tried to kiss you"
"and my labidont kicked in"

[FireIsTheCleanser]

That 70s Show

"So Red, what do you do?"
"About what?"

"Eric, in my country we have a saying: "Ugh, Styx"

--------------------------------

Cougar Town

" Cool! Wizards vs. Nerd:
'I'll strike you down with my spell!'
'No! Science is the answer!' "

" 'Hey, I'm moody and sarcastic, and home from college for the fourth week in a roll because I don't understand how college works.' "

------------------------------------

American Dad

"Are you a [BEEP]? It's cool if you're a [BEEP] but know right now, I don't get with no whore."

"Hi, I'm Laura, the new girl. Want to show me around and perhaps misinterpret my friendliness?"

" 'Give me waves of grain alcohol and we'll see how purple your majesty gets.' "
".... What?"
"It's from a song."

"Look at that cheap weave. [BEEP] got no class."

"Unhand me, inebriated temptress, I shan't waste an ounce of [BEEP] on you!"

"I had all this in storage from when I lived in Phoenix. Actually I lived in Mesa but when you say Mesa no one knows what Mesa is so.. I-I-I mean it's Phoenix, I lived in Phoenix."
...
"Scotch is really blowing it up. I hate that d-bag but I owe him one from when we were roommates in Mesa.... it's outside of Phoenix."
...
"What about your job? And where's all our furniture??"
"I used my vacay days, and I think somewhere near of Phoenix."

[FireIsTheCleanser]

American Dad

"Ugh, Francine, when I look at your hair, I doubt I could eat the amount I want to vomit."

"I enjoy a solitary BBQ lean pocket at midnight. It's become a ritual, your presence would disrupt that."

"I'm sure it's going to be a huge success!"
"'Godlike"? I don't know if I'd go that far."

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One Piece

"He must be queer. Pretty cool."

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Young Justice

"Gotta love modern weapons tech. Easier for a one armed man to fire a missile launcher than pull on his pants."