Hello,
So about three months ago I had an obsessive thought of killing myself. Supposedly because of OCD according to my therapist. Now I very seldomly have this particular thought of killing myself. However, I do seem to have a death wish now. It's not one particular thought, but the thoughts have the same end. I.E. I was driving through a curvy mountain road and I came to this one bend thar fell off the mountain quite a ways. When I saw this I had the thought of sliding, breaks going out, can't react in time etc... So I thought that if I went off and died would be okay with it? I didn't say yes, but it was more of maybe.
Now these thoughts have been with me daily and happen multiple times a day. They don't trigger my fear or anxiety. But I think about them just like someone would think about what to eat fir dinner. My therapist doesn't seem to worried about these thoughts and im not to worried either. But what if they become an active desire to die and I make a attempt. Im wondering if I should talk more aggressively to my therapist or take it day by day. Im not even sure if I am OCD since there are so many variations.
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