# Struggles and Support > Frustration and Struggles >  >  Missed opportunities that you regret?

## Misty

Does any one else have moments when they get barraged with memories of where their anxiety and or avoidance  caused them to lose an opportunity, in one form or another.

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## Meadowlark

Yes, I have those moments.  Something happened to me almost 3 years ago that still fills me with regret.  I've found that as time has gone on, I am flooded with the unpleasant memories less and less, and I have become more accepting of what happened.  I think too that I've just gotten so sick of dwelling on it, as it has taken such a toll mentally and physically.

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## BlueLace

Yes. College, jobs, boyfriends. All that I messed up due to avoidance and anxiety.

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## Ironman

Jobs, mostly.  My first job offer was with NASA in Cleveland, but my anxiety and depression were so bad, it was wise for me not to take the job.  The building I would have worked in was torn down to give more land to Cleveland Hopkins airport.  When I interviewed, three planes flew over the building.  It was unreal.

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## Robin

Oh, let's see... I've lost friendships, boyfriends, self-confidence, job promotions.   Having SA has made for a rocky road.

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## orange

One missed opportunity that I regret to this day is when my parents were invited by a family friend to an awards show and they met all kinds of celebrities.  The family friend didn't invite me because I was shy and quiet and she felt that I wouldn't be able to socialize with all of them.  This same family friend and her husband came back to visit and I helped my mother do the cleaning to prepare for their visit.  When it was time for them to leave, the husband said a prayer but just prayed for my parents and not me.  I felt mad but I never said anything.  Now about 8 years later, when my mother passed and my father called to let them know, this family friend didn't know what to say and cut the call short with my father.  My father was stunned because my mother was very close to her.  The next time this family friend called, she asked my father for money and my father sent it because she was close to my mother.  We haven't heard from her since and that was 4 years ago.  I always felt inferior because the family friend and her husband made me feel bad about my lack of social skills but I have come to realize that she had those same lack of skills when she didn't know what to say to my father about my mother.  I am glad that family friend is no longer in our lives.

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## Leary

I try not to dwell on the decisions I've made once I've already made them, and felt that they were the right choice at the time, but a big one would be this fight I got into with someone when they broke up with me. I wish I would have kept my cool and vented in a way that wasn't so ugly. It ensured that I'd never be able to remain friends with them. We haven't spoken in over a year.

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## Cam

Yes, avoidance causes TONS of missed opportunities for me. I try not to dwell on them but it's really difficult not to. Thinking about them only makes it worse.

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## JustGaara

Yeah, that's one of the things that makes me feel so worthless at times. I could have a much different life if it weren't for my mental issues.

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## WintersTale

I've had many missed opportunities in regards to socializing and forming relationships,_ but I've had so many blessings along the way that I don't regret my life._

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## Otherside

Lots and lots and lots.

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## James

Yeah, there've been so, soooo many.

Near the top of the list lately would be my stepkids. When my girlfriend (their mom) passed away, it was really very sudden, it was really difficult, impossible, really, for us to deal with. I tried to keep in touch with them but they shut me out, over and over and over again. I know it was because of my anxiety, depression, ptsd, bipolar disorder...all that. I didn't deal with it very well. It's been almost a year now, and I still struggle every day to deal with it. And anyway....there's no chance of getting close to them again. They won't even return my calls or texts. I'm dead to them, just like their mom.

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## JesusChild

I would be lying if I said I didn't regret not pursuing my deep life long dream of becoming an actor which is what I ultimately always wanted to be but if I had I don't think I ever would have met my girlfriend nor would I have met my friends from my social anxiety group. Like WinterTale I also feel that I've been blessed in my life, For every opportunity you miss there's a new door being opened to you, maybe I wasn't meant to be an actor that God wanted me to take a different path.

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## Penruddocke

Jobs  :hit wall:

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## L

I take to long to connect with people so I miss my chance a lot there

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## claire74

I turned down my uni place as was agoraphobic at the time, I would've been the first in my family to go uni. Opportunties for friendships.

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