# Anxiety Disorders > Social Anxiety Disorder >  >  Answering the telephone

## Hell No

Anyone else find this difficult? I've gotten more and more vary about it, to the point where I jump in fright if the telephone rings. Sometimes I turn it off for days so I won't have to worry. It's having to answer those questions. the *what did you do today ,  * and many other questions that feel tormenting and depressing.

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## Dreamer

I have always had problems with phone calls. Aside from the fact that I used to be painfully shy, I think I do a lot of my communication with body language and talking without it is like walking across the street with your eyes closed. I used to just avoid the phone but when I started a business that was no longer an option if I wanted to succeed. Here's how I deal with it, especially a particularly important or unpleasant call..First plan your conversation; try to anticipate all directions the call may go and prepare a response for all contingencies. To avoid being lead in unknown directions try to dominate the course of the call. Make notes in point form that you can consult during the call to keep you on track. Next practice the conversation to yourself. when you are prepared...walk away and do something else totally different and involving to get your mind off it. Then when your feeling relaxed, walk strait up to the phone pick it up and dial without giving yourself time to build up anxiety, look at the phone like a bully that your just going to walk up to and sucker-punch. Get your call done give yourself a pat on the back and do something nice and relaxing for yourself. The positive reinforcement will help.

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## compulsive

> I have always had problems with phone calls. Aside from the fact that I used to be painfully shy, I think I do a lot of my communication with body language and talking without it is like walking across the street with your eyes closed. I used to just avoid the phone but when I started a business that was no longer an option if I wanted to succeed. Here's how I deal with it, especially a particularly important or unpleasant call..First plan your conversation; try to anticipate all directions the call may go and prepare a response for all contingencies. To avoid being lead in unknown directions try to dominate the course of the call. Make notes in point form that you can consult during the call to keep you on track. Next practice the conversation to yourself. when you are prepared...walk away and do something else totally different and involving to get your mind off it. Then when your feeling relaxed, walk strait up to the phone pick it up and dial without giving yourself time to build up anxiety, look at the phone like a bully that your just going to walk up to and sucker-punch. Get your call done give yourself a pat on the back and do something nice and relaxing for yourself. The positive reinforcement will help.



Yes I agree with all of this, very well written. I have observed that people only ask questions like 'what did you do today?' if they cannot think of something to say to keep the conversation going.

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## Lost Control Again

*what did you do today*  ::D: 

I just say "looking for work"

luckily for me, i have caller ID on my house phone, and usually just ignore it if i don't recognise the number.

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## mackemdezzy

Phone calls hmmm i dont answer them at all they ring and i do not answer xD

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## Otherside

I actually hate it. I don't like using the phone at all. Answerphones...I don't know what it is about answerphones, but generally I'll hit end call as soon as I get that annoying woman telling me I've reached voicemail...

Answering the phone. I usually miss it because my phone is on silence. A lot of the calls I get are from people who withhold caller ID...which leaves me with a "do I answer it?" Usually, if it's withheld it's either 1)Doctors 2)College or 3)Somebody trying to get me to apply for a credit card...I do usually leave it to voicemail. Ironic, since I don't leave messafes myself.

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## mightypillow

I am afraid of answering the phone too. I will only answer the phone when certain people call.
When the phone rings and it is a number I don't recognize, I just stare at it until the phone stops ringing hoping the person will leave a voice mail.

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## Member11

Answering a phone call doesn't really bother me, because I don't give myself the chance to think about it, I just quickly answer it and get it over and done with. Waiting for a call is what stresses me out.

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## infamous

Unless the call is coming from a family member, it's going straight to voice mail. I actually have calls on silent 90% of the time and they know to text me first before calling if necessary.

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## SyncSolo

I avoid answering whenever possible, but I can cope better than I used to.

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## GunnyHighway

Receiving calls, I can usually handle pretty fine. Making calls is where I have a hard time. That and phone calls that are over 5 minutes. A huge part of my previous job involved answering the phone. Kinda forced me to get over not wanting to pick up my phone.

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## Koalafan

Unless I know for sure who is calling I always let it go to voice mail. If it's someone I know then I usually don't have THAT hard a time answering but I prefer to keep calls as short as possible...cause then it will get awkward  :Tongue: . However, making phone calls is a whole nother story. I simply CANNOT call someone without rehearsing in my head what I am exactly going to say before hand (also trying to make it as short and sweet as possible  :Tongue: ). I simply can't think about, cause if I do...then my heart/mind will race, palms will get sweaty, and I end staring at my phone instead of making the call =/

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## pljunkie

I will only answer the phone if I know who is calling me.
I don't have a landline anymore, but when I did I would never answer the phone, I would just let it ring out.
I only have a mobile now and if I don't know the number, I don't answer.

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## James

I have a hard time making and receiving calls lately.  If my cell rings I let it go to vmail, even if I know who it is, and call them back.  Not sure why but it's a little less anxiety for me that way.

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## Total Eclipse

> Unless I know for sure who is calling I always let it go to voice mail. If it's someone I know then I usually don't have THAT hard a time answering but I prefer to keep calls as short as possible...cause then it will get awkward . However, making phone calls is a whole nother story. I simply CANNOT call someone without rehearsing in my head what I am exactly going to say before hand (also trying to make it as short and sweet as possible ). I simply can't think about, cause if I do...then my heart/mind will race, palms will get sweaty, and I end staring at my phone instead of making the call =/




You know better to let it go to voice mail when I call!! **bopa** !!  :bopa:  I've very well have seen you able to hold down a conversation on the phone :-) You can do it!! **hugs**

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## Koalafan

> You know better to let it go to voice mail when I call!! **bopa** !!  I've very well have seen you able to hold down a conversation on the phone :-) You can do it!! **hugs**



Aww thanks Kay!  ::  The rare moment I feel comfortable I can be alittle bit of a chatter box  :Tongue:   :Hug:

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## chanellebourgeois

Sometimes my mom makes me talk to people

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## enfield

i don't answer it. in my family usually none of us answered it when it was ringing. my mom because sometimes she couldn't hear it and other times because we got all these telemarketing calls. me because i didn't want to talk to anyone that wasn't a friend even if it was just to answer it and pass it along to my mom. so it was easier just to wait for it to go to voicemail and then when someone started to leave a message if any of us wanted to talk to them, we'd pick it up or transfer the phone to the person who wanted it. i used to talk to one friend on the phone all the time. he would call our house a lot and begin to leave a message so we'd know it was him and pick up. my family had some superstitions about our phone. we were all sure that we could tell who it was by the way the phone rang. i really believed that too. we'd just be dead on so much of the time in predicting who was going to leave the message and getting it right there was no other explanation for it. when i was daring i might pick it up while it was ringing if i had a strong feeling it was my friend. i got that wrong a few times but not that many.

now i never answer the phone unless it's family. i don't answer skype calls either. i declined a few of those the other day.

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