# Lounge > Chit Chat >  >  Have you ever ghosted anyone?

## Antidote

Or have you ever _been_ ghosted by anyone?

Just read an article on how ghosting is becoming a trend to end friendships or relationships / dating. I've probably only ghosted some people who I hardly know, so I'm not sure if that is strictly ghosting, since there usually isn't that much of an expectation to reply. But I guess some consider it ghosting. On the whole though, with people I know better, I usually let them know why I'm distancing myself or if I've taken issue with something they did, and then I cut contact if that's what I want to do, because I don't want to have some big drawn out argument if it's clear we don't see eye to eye. I have definitely been ghosted a few times, but not in any situation I particularly cared about.

----------


## L

What does that mean?

----------


## Cuchculan

I would imagine the same as stalked. Ghosting. Not letting them see you. Following them.

----------


## Antidote

No it means when you simply stop replying to their messages. 





> Ghosting 
> The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject's maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.



http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ghosting

It can be applied to frienships too though.

----------


## Cuchculan

We live and we learn. Have had it done on me a few times. People who suddenly stop keeping in touch. For no reason other than no longer want to be friends.

----------


## InvisibleGuy

Yeah I got ghosted by my ex gf. She didn't just ignore me though, she actually killed herself. I can't imagine a worse way to get ghosted, a worse way to break up with someone. I can't imagine a worse thing to do to another human being. It's got to be the most selfish, hateful thing you can do to another human being.

----------


## Otherside

Yeah someone did this to me for a while. We did talk after she did that. I told her she should have spoken to me if she didn't want to talk anymore. Instead she choose the least awkward and easiest option for herself, leaving me thinking "What the actual hell?" and baffled as to what was going on. 

I didn't take it particularly well. Being ignored drives me absolutely bonkers. Just irks something in my brain. Can't stand it. I probably could have taken it better to be honest, but hell I wasn't exactly in a good place back then. 

Never done it to anyone, mind. If I don't want to talk to someone I'll bloody tell them. And tell them why. And yes. That has been awkward and difficult for me at times. But I'm a strong believer in "you owe someone that much at least". 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...-hurts-so-much

There you go. An article about why ghosting hurts a lot when you're the victim of it. 

Sent from my D5803 using Tapatalk

----------


## L

Iv had that happen to me....a "friend" just disappeared

----------


## Antidote

> Yeah someone did this to me for a while. *We did talk after she did that.* I told her she should have spoken to me if she didn't want to talk anymore. Instead she choose the least awkward and easiest option for herself, leaving me thinking "What the actual hell?" and baffled as to what was going on. 
> 
> I didn't take it particularly well. Being ignored drives me absolutely bonkers. Just irks something in my brain. Can't stand it. I probably could have taken it better to be honest, but hell I wasn't exactly in a good place back then. 
> 
> Never done it to anyone, mind. If I don't want to talk to someone I'll bloody tell them. And tell them why. And yes. That has been awkward and difficult for me at times. But I'm a strong believer in "you owe someone that much at least". 
> 
> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...-hurts-so-much
> 
> There you go. An article about why ghosting hurts a lot when you're the victim of it. 
> ...



In that sense I have sort of ghosted an ex friend. I tried to ghost her but she confronted and questioned me and I replied. The reason why I ghosted her initially was not out of punishment or retaliation, but because I believed at the time that we would just drift apart if I evaded her attempts to contact me (we had drifted apart before even when we were on good terms, it just happens sometimes). And the reason why I wanted to drift apart was because I was extremely angry about something she did which I considered a betrayal. It was something that was messed up enough that, I'm not sure how she could possibly explain the situation to a third party without making herself look bad... like there was no way that you could put a positive spin on it. In fact I used to wonder about that, how she would explain to her other friends why we had a falling out. I know that friends usually side with their friends because they only get one side of the story, but it's like, her side of the story still looks really bad so... 

Anyway, she didn't see it coming, she seemed really confused and surprised by the whole thing. In my case I do think she deserved it though. And I didn't want to go meet up with her over coffee and 'dump' her so to speak. I didn't want to get into an argument. But also, she hadn't extended any courtesy to me when the betrayal happened (and in fact she withheld quite serious information from me), so she didn't really deserve a courteous dumping.

Interesting article though. I can imagine it must be very hurtful, especially if you have no idea what you did to trigger it.

----------


## Cuchculan

I recently had an ex send me a friend request on facebook only so she could unfriend me. I kid you not. I guess she was curious to see what I was up to. Have her blocked now. So no more friend requests from her. But how childish was that? She is in her 50's. Like something a young teen might do. I think the last times we were friends on there was about 4 years ago and I unfriended her because she never posted. Maybe she waited all this time just to get me back. Made me laugh though. Not like I will miss her or anything. This time around we were only friends for less than a week. The childish actions of a fully grown adult.

----------


## lethargic nomad

Yes, I did it to one boyfriend and a couple of friends.  And to a number of guys I only went on one or two dates with.  A lot of guys have done it to me also.

----------


## Skippy

> Just read an article on how ghosting is becoming a trend to end friendships or relationships / dating.



It's so sad to hear this is becoming a trend....I dunno people should have responsibility to deal with situations like that respectfully, rather than just ignore the person deff if they know them.
I generally never cut anyone out of my life, except there has been times with abusive/toxic people that I've simply had to, and I was sure they knew my intentions.

----------


## Relle

Unfortunately, I have to admit that I am guilty of ghosting someone but it was honestly for the best. Not gonna go into full details but I used to be close to this guy. We had a falling out last summer and didn't hear from each other again until this past December. Things were good when we reconnected but soon, I noticed that when I would message him or reach out to him, he would ignore me or reply days later. I eventually asked him did he feel uncomfortable talking to me or was there an issue and he simply said no and that he was "busy" but it didn't take long for me to figure out he wasn't as busy as he would say. I hurt my feelings a little so over time, I reached out to him less and less and eventually just stopped talking to him altogether. He finally messaged me right before I deleted my social media account but I just ignored it and moved on. I just got really tired of trying to be his friend because it started feeling like it was one-sided and it was tiresome to deal with.

On that note, I've been ghosted by people as well. One of my close childhood friends stopped talking to me out of nowhere. Like, we never fell out, argued, or anything so when she did it, I was kinda surprised. I haven't talked to her in almost 2 years now. I also have another friend who I was close to that I haven't talked to to in a month now. Situations like these, I just try to tell myself life goes on and hopefully, I'll make friends that will stay and put in the same effort I put in to be their friend.

----------


## Cassie

Yes I currently just ghosted a guy from a dating website we made plans on a date then I thought it was pointless he?s sent 5 messages so far asking About the date 3 text messages one on coffee meets bagel truthfully given he has a career engineering I thought he would be so smart to know I ghosted him I still can?t figure how me ghosting him made me feel if he?s upset it?s fine because he has no reason to be upset truthfully I saved him from meeting me  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

----------


## fetisha

I barely do it unless I really need to. I feel odd compared to most people these days since I usually tell people that I don't want to talk anymore instead of being childish and ghosting people. Thats why I don't bother making friends anymore cause most people these days are fake and will ghost you out of the blue. I can't stand when strangers approach me wanting to be friends cause I know they will get bored and bored and ghost me so I ignore everyone now in public, f**k people!

----------


## 1

Boo!

----------

