# Anxiety Disorders > Hypochondria (Health Anxiety) >  >  Scared and Depressed with news that I have rare deadly family cancer gene.

## WorriedJohnyBoy

How can you deal with life knowing you have 40 to 70% lifetime risk of
developing deadly pancreatic cancer? Genes were identified for
hereditary pancreatitis which increases risk tremendously from
developing the deadly disease. My mother passed away at 49 and
grandfather around the same age.

I've been a hypochondriac my whole life, dealing with heath anxiety
issues. Visiting the various doctor over 30 times in 4 years. I
thought I had brain/neck/lung/testicular/liver/oral/skin cancer. All
came back negative. Now the new findings literally left me on the
floor crying for hours.

I am only 30 years old with a 4 month old boy who I adore. I can stand
the thought of leaving him behind and not being able to see him grow
up. I already suffer from extreme health anxiety which with new
findings that are now leaving me in a deep depression. I find even
hard to look at him without crying.

My life is slow and boring. The thought of laying in my death bed
regretting all the things I could have been or should have done to be
happy. I never live in the moment. My life consist of sitting around
working on websites all day.

Please someone help me with tips, words of wisdom or anything! To top
it off, I have the worst insurance for mental health, which is Kaiser.
Only group therapy is offered and you're able to see counselor once
every 6 weeks  ::(: 

Every article I read -- and I read many of them, all point to the
increased risk. It's on my mind all day and night. I cannot eat due to
my nerves. Even when I'm having a good time, it's still in back of my
head.

You would think knowing this info would help diagnosing something
early, but it's unlikely. My dream come true would to live to be 90
like my other grandparents.

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## Cam

I think your best bet is to be happy about, and enjoy the fact that right now you are healthy and cancer free. Dwelling on this will only build up anxiety. Yes, there's a chance you will develop pancreatic cancer, but the odds of you not developing it are just as good!

I don't know what else to say, try to live your life the way you did before you found out about this. Get check ups often to be sure that if you ever do get it, that you catch it early.

hang in there :/

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