# Struggles and Support > Frustration and Struggles >  >  Thinking people hate me on the internet

## WintersTale

I don't always come off the way I want to on the internet, it's not like in real life. I often think that people dislike or even hate me on forums or on Facebook. 

Am I being paranoid? Are there people who hate me on here?

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## Otherside

Nope, not just you. I don't hate you. I've seen you around on here and on that other site and you seem like a good person and there's no reason for me to hate you. But heck, I know the feeling. Paranoid even online, anxiety even on here...sigh...

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## meeps

I feel mostly ignored or disliked.

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## takethebiscuit

> I don't always come off the way I want to on the internet, it's not like in real life. I often think that people dislike or even hate me on forums or on Facebook. 
> 
> Am I being paranoid? Are there people who hate me on here?



Part of social anxiety/social phobia is the belief that people dislike or hate us. There have been quite a few studies done on this.

Personally, I've never had any cause to dislike you. I'll say this though: avoid holding yourself hostage to the opinions of other people. Seriously. Overly worrying about the opinions others have of you stops you from doing things and enjoying your life.

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## IllusionOfHappiness

Well, I certainly don't hate you. You seem like a genuinely nice person! I'll often start typing out a reply and then delete the whole thing, assuming my opinion is moot/dumb/unpopular/unintelligent etc. Tone can be difficult to express through text, but I think it's safe to say for the most part we're way too hard on ourselves.

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## Hamster

I was (and still am, to some extent) the same way. I didn't get any attention from my parents when I was little (unless I did something bad). My dad always seemed too busy to pay me any time. I grew up feeling inadequate. Self esteem is a funny thing. We are so often our own worse enemies, or at least, toughest critics. The sad thing is that the negative baggage that we carry for so long is usually the result of what happened in a few short years in our childhood. It is often so hard to just let it go. I'm sure everybody would tell you to see a shrink. Don't let them give you some kind of drug to make you feel better except as a last, last resort! You have to explore what you really, really like about yourself. You can't spend the rest of your life trying to impress or please your parents. Your life doesn't belong to them, it belongs to you. Also, if you do drugs, stop; they really screw up the way you see yourself. Good luck to you! Ps. I took up flying as the fulfillment of a lifelong dream, and it has made me so much more confident and self-validating. Do something like that for yourself

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## VickieKitties

I always thought you seemed pretty cool, don't worry about it  ::):

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## whiteman

A lot of people say things on the net they normally wouldn't say in real life. Personally, even though I have social phobia, I could care less what someone thinks about me on the net. The internet is just something that's mildly more interesting and engaging than watching television. I try not to care about what people say to me on the net. It isn't real life. I don't even look at people on a forum as real people, I just look at their posts as a computer shooting out text. Chances are you're not going to have a personal relationship with someone you meet on the net. like a friendship or a romantic relationship so what someone says doesn't bother me that much.

The surfing site I go to is another story. I know people who post on that forum irl. The culture in surfing and the culture where I live is extremely violent and backing down only emblodems them and brings more of them upon you, so it's important too defend yourself against any attacls to the best of your ability, otherwise there will be consequences.

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## kc1895

> I don't always come off the way I want to on the internet, it's not like in real life. I often think that people dislike or even hate me on forums or on Facebook. 
> 
> Am I being paranoid? Are there people who hate me on here?



Is there a specific incidence in which you think somebody hates you?  You don't have to give names, but it usually helps to point out the distortion in how you think they feel vs. how they really feel.  Like with CBT.





> Part of social anxiety/social phobia is the belief that people dislike or hate us. There have been quite a few studies done on this.
> 
> Personally, I've never had any cause to dislike you. I'll say this though: avoid holding yourself hostage to the opinions of other people. Seriously. Overly worrying about the opinions others have of you stops you from doing things and enjoying your life.



 :Agreed:

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## Borophyll

You seem like a nice guy, try not to worry about it(I know easier said than done). Can't please them all and the ones you can't not worth stressing over.

People dislike me but I don't care.

_I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. -Kurt Cobain_

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## WineKitty

> You seem like a nice guy, try not to worry about it(I know easier said than done). Can't please them all and the ones you can't not worth stressing over.
> 
> People dislike me but I don't care.
> 
> _I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. -Kurt Cobain_



Ditto.....esp that quote.  I love that quote!  ::):

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## WintersTale

I get into arguments about relationships all the time, and assume people dislike me. Maybe I'm wrong, but it sometimes feels that way.

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## Rawr

You're not alone. I feel like I annoy most people cause once someone adds me & reads what I post they delete me not long after. Then if I express my positive feelings to someone they don't say much positive in return & end up changing the subject. Really I feel like just deleting every dern thing I'm on sometimes or just not bothering to speak to people. I don't think people like how I'm short of words & lack a decent response to their life issues. I come off about like Sheldon off of The Big Bang Theory.

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## TheDarkness

.

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## rapidfox1

I don't hate you. You rule!  ::): 

It's too bad you left SAS.

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## Inscrutable Banana

The internet doesn't provide a great example for what people think of you. The impersonal nature of it and the relative anonymity it offers tends to bring out the worst in a lot of people, allowing them to say or do things they would be far more hesitant to do or say in person. I've taken to trying to just ignore or outright avoid the internet hate machine when I see it flaring up somewhere, which works out most of the time but occasionally I still get drawn in to some degree or another.

If nothing else I suppose all of the negativity on the Internet makes for a nice contrast when you do run into cool people you enjoy talking toâmost of the time, at least, as it's nigh impossible to find someone you'll never have even a minor clash with on occasion, but that's fine so long as people can cool down and let it pass.

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## Kirsebaer

> I don't always come off the way I want to on the internet, it's not like in real life. I often think that people dislike or even hate me on forums or on Facebook.



Story of my life. I always feel ignored and sometimes disliked on forums. I think I must come off as really boring/uninteresting, I don't know. I think I'm more of a likeable person in real life than online cause I rarely feel disliked by people IRL, quite the contrary.

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## Chantellabella

You know what? I saw this thread for the first time and got sidetracked. 

I just wanted to let you know that I don't hate you at all. In fact, I like you and I think you're very supportive to me and to others. Online anything is a weird place because we can't see each other. The majority of communication is body language so without seeing someone's expression it's very common to misunderstand their intentions. Also there isn't immediate responses which can equate to "nobody is interested," "nobody likes me," etc. The positive about online friendships though is that it can be a safe place to talk to someone because we can't see their expressions. I know I've backed down telling people what's really on my mind when I've only touched the surface and they have a look of horror. 

But I like you here and I think you've been an important part of this forum for a long time. 

Cindy

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## Sagan

I don't hate you man, or anyone for that matter. You're a kind and insightful person. From the old place to here! Also you have the same name as me so  ::):

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