# Struggles and Support > Frustration and Struggles >  >  What made you anxious today?

## QuietCalamity

Let's talk about all the things in our daily lives that make us an anxious. 

****

While I was waiting at the bus stop I got hit on. Hard. He wanted to come to my house "as friends". I didn't know how to handle it. What's almost worse is that I never get hit on and he told me I was beautiful like 5 times, so even though it was creepy and tested my social anxiety I kind of liked it?  ::):   ::(:   ::):   ::(:  The ambiguity makes me anxious.

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## merc

[/QUOTE]While I was waiting at the bus stop I got hit on. Hard. He wanted to come to my house "as friends". I didn't know how to handle it.[/QUOTE]

Was this some one you knew or a stranger?  A complete stranger ups the creepy dude factor like 100 times. Also if someone trys to charm you beware and the immediate second question should be why is this person trying to charm me? It also is good for your ego that some one likes you for just being alive and there.

I am probably way too cautious, but I seem to meet some creepy people. However one of my most favorite people in the world could be considered creepy because he constantly flirts and hits on "all women." I usually give him a smart [BEEP] comment back or if he gets too bad I yell at him which of course makes him laugh but he does back off and apologize and deep down he's the type of person who would help me out if I really needed it.

I'm not really having too much anxiety today. I did worry about not being friendly or having too much to say. We worked with the new store leader and she is different, personally I think she is kind of shy and that she prefers to deal one on one with people instead of what I call the politician, greet people very superficially in a group setting and be oh so fake and friendly. See I already like her better than previous store managers.

A lot of people don't care for her, they prefer to be greeted superficially rather than genuinely. I guess a few times she didn't respond too warmly to some superficial friendly types and they took offense.

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## QuietCalamity

> Was this some one you knew or a stranger?  A complete stranger ups the creepy dude factor like 100 times. Also if someone trys to charm you beware and the immediate second question should be why is this person trying to charm me? It also is good for your ego that some one likes you for just being alive and there.



Total stranger! I was not very direct though and he wasn't picking up on my cues probably due to a culture barrier (from his accent I am pretty sure he was an international student. I've met quite a few in that program).
I just have low self-esteem and want to hear good stuff whether it's manipulation or not.

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## merc

Ooh ok! A cultural difference.  I took a few Spanish courses in a smallish town in Mexico. If you didn't greet everyone you were acquainted with with a handshake, actually it was a special handshake, it was considered rude. As a woman you had to know to walk near the buildings on a street and any male companions needed to walk towards the cars. If not, it was a sign that you were a hooker. I learned this the first day when our guide who was getting exasperated with us trying to figure out his penchant for walking on the outside of the sidewalk.

I had to tell this to a male student who's young female guide was too embarrassed to inform him.  They were also pretty direct about whether or not you looked good, which was actually good for my self esteem. I had a friend though who was very tall with bright red hair and she created a stir wherever she went, people would kind of hiss and run and come to stare at her. I live in northeastern Pa, which is a very white area and red hair is not unusual or anything special. I later learned that it's sometimes red hair is considered a mark of witchcraft, but, I've no idea why she attracted this attention.

I when I went walking alone was ignored and blended in,  although with my, mousey light brown hair was  called blonde by many.

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## QuietCalamity

> Ooh ok! A cultural difference.  I took a few Spanish courses in a smallish town in Mexico. If you didn't greet everyone you were acquainted with with a handshake, actually it was a special handshake, it was considered rude. As a woman you had to know to walk near the buildings on a street and any male companions needed to walk towards the cars. If not, it was a sign that you were a hooker. I learned this the first day when our guide who was getting exasperated with us trying to figure out his penchant for walking on the outside of the sidewalk.
> 
> I had to tell this to a male student who's young female guide was too embarrassed to inform him.  They were also pretty direct about whether or not you looked good, which was actually good for my self esteem. I had a friend though who was very tall with bright red hair and she created a stir wherever she went, people would kind of hiss and run and come to stare at her. I live in northeastern Pa, which is a very white area and red hair is not unusual or anything special. I later learned that it's sometimes red hair is considered a mark of witchcraft, but, I've no idea why she attracted this attention.
> 
> I when I went walking alone was ignored and blended in,  although with my, mousey light brown hair was  called blonde by many.



Wow that's really interesting!

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## QuietCalamity

Today I'm super anxious about my health. I was supposed to hear back about my blood work results yesterday. I think I'm more worried that it's normal and everything is all in my head. 
I wish I could relax and read but I can't focus.

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## QuietCalamity

I'm in a walk-in clinic. I've never been to a walk-in clinic. I'm almost at panic-attack levels of anxiety. Trying to act like I'm just flustered due to pain. 

And I started a totally bum thread. I suck.

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## IllusionOfHappiness

> I'm in a walk-in clinic. I've never been to a walk-in clinic. I'm almost at panic-attack levels of anxiety. Trying to act like I'm just flustered due to pain. 
> 
> And I started a totally bum thread. I suck.



You don't suck.  :Hug: 

I hope you get some answers soon.

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## merc

Actually I really like this thread. I'm not anxiety ridden all of the time. What made me anxious yesterday. A new co-worker was in a pissy mood. She seemed angry and I'm not sure why. I really don't think it was me, just she was mad that the person she usually works with was in a different department, which does happen and i really don't see why that would piss anyone off. 

Later when I went on break, I noticed that the only people on break were my supervisors. I tried to calmly dump out my water and throw it  out then I exited the room and went to the computer room to try and schedule a day off. My heart was pounding so hard and I felt like a big dork but I did calmly dump out the water and only then did I flee the room. I suppose that could be considered progress!!!Yet, I fled because I was too scared to have to talk to two of them, no amount of breathing exercises would help with that situation!If they weren't there I might have taken a short break, but I get discouraged because I know other people talk like normal people to bosses and don't hide, yet I'm sometimes unable to act like a normal person.

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## IllusionOfHappiness

Going to the dentist made me anxious today >.<. And lucky me, I get to go tomorrow too lol. I don't mind going, I just didn't know what to expect since it had been years since I'd been there. I was worried I might have a mouth full of cavities because I'm not exactly prepared to pay to have any filled, but it looks like my flossing has paid off. The spot I thought might be a cavity isn't quite a cavity yet, and sealant will help that. That's apparently what I'll be having done tomorrow.

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## Harpuia

> Going to the dentist made me anxious today >.<. And lucky me, I get to go tomorrow too lol. I don't mind going, I just didn't know what to expect since it had been years since I'd been there. I was worried I might have a mouth full of cavities because I'm not exactly prepared to pay to have any filled, but it looks like my flossing has paid off. The spot I thought might be a cavity isn't quite a cavity yet, and sealant will help that. That's apparently what I'll be having done tomorrow.



Aww...  :Hug:  Hope you'll be ok.

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## IllusionOfHappiness

> Aww...  Hope you'll be ok.



Thanks  :Hug: 
Thankfully I didn't have to break the bank. Still would have been nice to have insurance though.  ::\:

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## QuietCalamity

> Actually I really like this thread. I'm not anxiety ridden all of the time. What made me anxious yesterday. A new co-worker was in a pissy mood. She seemed angry and I'm not sure why. I really don't think it was me, just she was mad that the person she usually works with was in a different department, which does happen and i really don't see why that would piss anyone off. 
> 
> Later when I went on break, I noticed that the only people on break were my supervisors. I tried to calmly dump out my water and throw it  out then I exited the room and went to the computer room to try and schedule a day off. My heart was pounding so hard and I felt like a big dork but I did calmly dump out the water and only then did I flee the room. I suppose that could be considered progress!!!Yet, I fled because I was too scared to have to talk to two of them, no amount of breathing exercises would help with that situation!If they weren't there I might have taken a short break, but I get discouraged because I know other people talk like normal people to bosses and don't hide, yet I'm sometimes unable to act like a normal person.



I can relate. I can't talk with my boss without acting like he's about to hit me, and he's the most chill dude lol. My SA is a lot worse with authority figures, so you're not alone!

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## QuietCalamity

> You don't suck. 
> 
> I hope you get some answers soon.



Thanks  :Hug:  I did finally get a test scheduled that I knew I needed, so I'm happy.

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## Chantellabella

Thanks for putting up this thread, Cal. I think it's a great topic.


I get anxious about therapy each week. I can avoid feelings until the session. Since my sessions are via Skype, I just sit here and cry after I log off. I've heard people say they actually like to go to therapy. It's always been my absolute worst time of the week.

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## merc

The low tire pressure light came on and reminded me I need tires so now I'm freaking out about how to pay for new tires. I wish this was a few years earlier, we didn't have much money, but it wasn't always such a huge concern.

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## L

What made me anxious today

The cops were driving behind me at one point 
I ordered pizza went to pick it up felt anxious as I was thinking my house mates were going to be judging my food choice/ laziness to cook

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## Harpuia

My mother called me a pathetic con artist who's only using her for food...  ::(: 

I hate myself.

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## IllusionOfHappiness

> My mother called me a pathetic con artist who's only using her for food... 
> 
> I hate myself.



I wonder if these people know the power of their words, as parental figures. Those things hurt coming from a random stranger, but from your own mother?

 :Hug:

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## Harpuia

> I wonder if these people know the power of their words, as parental figures. Those things hurt coming from a random stranger, but from your own mother?



Unfortunate that I need them to survive until I learn how to cook...

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## Monowheat

Good thread idea. 

Today I got anxious about being late for my therapist appointment. I was already anxious about the appointment in general but being late (due to a variety of reasons) for anything really sets me off. I was roughly 10 minutes late and she was just coming into the waiting room to call me in when we came through the doors sweating from the heat (sunshine in Scotland?!?) and rushing. She was very understanding and since she was running late it worked out but I was still shaking and panicking when I sat down. Great start(!).

In the end the appointment went well and we got through a load of stuff. My partner came to give an objective perspective on the situation which definitely helped. There was talk of mood stabilisers to help with the sudden slumps I get but I'm taking my time to think about it before I charge in on new meds (having this decision to make also makes me a little anxious).

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## IllusionOfHappiness

Making a phone call. And whoopee, I get to make an even more anxiety-inducing one tomorrow.

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## Monowheat

Still anxious from the stuff we went through in my appointment a few days ago. A lot was mentioned and I woke the next day feeling very daunted at all the issues I have to tackle, it's like a mountain I somehow have to break down. I know I need to do it a piece at a time but it's just so... Huge. It's all so much bigger than I am.  ::\:

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## IllusionOfHappiness

A whole bunch of inconceivably miniscule things that should make no person anxious, ever. What is my life?

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## QuietCalamity

I texted my older brother (the one who bullied me pretty bad) today to ask about his experience with his car since I was looking at the same model. He was nice and everything, which felt weird. He even congratulated me on graduating. But I was still just crazy anxious about conversing with him at all. Nice or not I'd prefer not to talk to him.

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## Monowheat

I feel as though I'm being watched. Like there's someone sitting at the coffee table with me.

No random paranoia, you will not ruin my good mood.

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## GunnyHighway

I got overcharged for my food, catching it as it got punched in. I freaked out and couldn't say anything though.

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## QuietCalamity

I test drove a car I'm interested in. Afterword my mind went blank and I couldn't remember what I was going to say. I always think I'm tougher than I am.

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## L

Phone calls I had to make today and almost setting the house on fire

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## IllusionOfHappiness

A phone call.

But most importantly, that giant daddy longlegs that was in the living room  :O_O: .

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## merc

At work being told to drop what I was doing, I was almost finished so two others in my department could finish up stocking about only 10 items. Later, when the direct supervisor came, he asked what did she say and i relayed that I was to immediately stop so she and Cora could take over. He said no, that's not what I said. I said that I told them I was finishing up the cart and then I would go. As it turns out we all were almost finished!!!I also told him it was asinine. Insulting etc. I know that I am the fastest he's got at pushing carts. I work really hard at organizing them so they can be pushed quickly. 

We then pushed a the entire baby  department by ourselves within one hour, which he "overly praised "us. I know i was a little "whatever" rude,  but, I am a pretty good worker and I directed everyone to where I thought they would do the best and it worked. We get praised for that, but the one day I pushed the entire clothing section minus women'a hosiery and the shoe department all by myself. I truly think it was a personal record and not one manger knows anything!!

I've fretted about this long enough today!

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## QuietCalamity

Going out for drinks with some coworkers after my last day of my internship. But it was fun. I like them a lot.  ::):  And now I SLEEP.

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## Keddy

Waking up in the hospital and forgetting where I was.

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## Nightingale

> My mother called me a pathetic con artist who's only using her for food... 
> 
> I hate myself.



This may sound overly simplistic, but screw her. 

Screw anyone who talks to you like that and makes you feel that way.

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## Monowheat

Today I woke to find my alarm had been going off _silently_ for over an hour. So a mad dash to get to work ensued, which included a Â£28 taxi which couldn't pick me up straight away. Turns out there was traffic and crashes on all the major roads into the city since drivers around here go far too fast on the country roads, even when it's wet and almost gale force winds.

As I've mentioned before, lateness really sets my anxiety off and I had to let my fiancÃ© calm me down a few times before the taxi arrived (with reassuring words and hugs). I made it, just. But I've been flustered and anxious all morning so have barely spoken more than a few words to my boss, who I'm certain has noticed despite her busyness. She's let me have my lunch break early. I think she saw the "I need coffee!" In my eyes.

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## GunnyHighway

Argh. I hate how completely dumb I go when certain people talk to me. 

My work has a lot of very slow opening, access card required doors. This involves a lot of times ending up with getting a few people standing there on either side of the door. This morning I walked into work and got to the last door only the notice one of the newer girls standing on the other side. She's nice and always says hi to me...and I just go into full stare-at-the-floor-like-a-dumbass mode. I managed to say hi at least, but I sure must seem like an ass. 

Why can't I just converse like a normal human being instead of getting buried in anxiety?  :bricks:

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## merc

Why can't I just converse like a normal human being instead of getting buried in anxiety?  :bricks: 

I was going to post what happened at work today, but then I saw your post and this just about sums it up nicely. Some people I'm never anxious around then others... I also have trouble being nice or polite...I asked this person to wait, we still had stuff that needed to go back and they were clearing the floor. So, he waited and I as quickly as possible dumped my stuff off and then I got out of his way. Well, another co-worker thanked him for waiting and made me feel like a jerk. I've seen this person for two years and we aren't friendly. He's just a person who works there. 

There are people who've worked there for two weeks who know more people than I do. I just always assume people hate me and I keep to myself and I really don't care, I'd rather be alone by choice than depressed over being rejected. I just can't. I don't like people. This is why I think I may be more of an avoident personality type, yet I do like and get along with a few people?? This is sometimes the worst disorder in the world to have.

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## QuietCalamity

> Why can't I just converse like a normal human being instead of getting buried in anxiety?



I came here to say the same thing LOL. I had orientation for my new job today and it was just me and another lady. She seemed really nice and wanted to chat but my mind was blank. Even when I think of normal things to say sometimes they won't come out of my mouth.

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## Monowheat

Last night I was laid in bed panicking about the call I had to make to the doctors this morning. If I didn't do it I'd have run out of my anti-depressants/anxiety medication on Thirsday and I have yet to start on my increased dose. I stupidly miscounted my weeks. I should have called sooner! >.<

But when I called this morning it was all ok, in fact one girl in the office was printing out the Perscription whilst I was on the phone to the other. Timing. I has it.

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## L

Being my car to the garage today wasn't fun

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## Koalafan

Had a massive anxiety spike with my grandparents over  ::(:  I don't why they set off my anxiety so bad but I guess it's just the feeling of knowing how awkward I am around them and the fact I have nothing to talk about. So what do I do? What any normal well-adjusted person does and hide in the bathroom breaking down and trying to get myself adjusted enough to finally go downstairs to say hello  :Tongue: .

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## IllusionOfHappiness

> Had a massive anxiety spike with my grandparents over  I don't why they set off my anxiety so bad but I guess it's just the feeling of knowing how awkward I am around them and the fact I have nothing to talk about. So what do I do? What any normal well-adjusted person does and hide in the bathroom breaking down and trying to get myself adjusted enough to finally go downstairs to say hello .



Anxiety around family members is never very pleasant >.<. At least when it's around random strangers, you know you'll likely never see them again. I'll often have anxiety around my grandparents too. Probably has a lot to do with visiting them being another situation wherein I have to seriously limit what I say. And if there's every anyone I'm going to put on my very best forced smile for, it's the grandparents. So yeah. That stuff.

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## Koalafan

> Anxiety around family members is never very pleasant >.<. At least when it's around random strangers, you know you'll likely never see them again. I'll often have anxiety around my grandparents too. Probably has a lot to do with visiting them being another situation wherein I have to seriously limit what I say. And if there's every anyone I'm going to put on my very best forced smile for, it's the grandparents. So yeah. That stuff.



Thanks Illusion!  :Hug:  Anxiety around family members do indeed suck =/ my grandparents are really awesome people and I really do enjoy seeing them but I just can't get comfortable talking around them ><. And then the spiral begins and I get the inevitable "Why are you so quiet?" My face gets red and the cycle just keeps repeating itself....bah.

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## Monowheat

I accidentally triggered myself today and I had to calm myself down and stop myself from crying (which would have likely turned into a panic attack) It was completely by accident and was in the middle of the coffee shop whilst waiting for a friend to turn up and now the thoughts/feelings won't leave me alone.

 Whhhyyyyy?  ::

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## Soppycow

I had to go out to the shop today, and today had to be the day I have a big spot on my face :-( Got to the shops and kept thinking they were staring at me, and talking about how ugly I was behind my back

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## SmileyFace

Knowing I won't get paid again until 1.5 weeks from now. I'm not broke or anything,  but it's scary finally seeing how important it is to save [BEEP] up.

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## IllusionOfHappiness

Realizing how close we are to September....pheeeww. 

Everything is going to be okay.

Maybe.

I hope.

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## QuietCalamity

Last night Tim was out and he didn't have the key to the house, and I always lock the door when I'm home alone. He texted me when he left but it didn't go through, so when I heard someone pounding on the door at midnight I freaked the [BEEP] out. I should have known it was him but I was so scared I couldn't move. Finally he texted me again and after I let him in I ended up having a small panic attack. I was pissed that he didn't try harder to get in touch with me. He should know how I get when I'm home alone.

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## merc

People at work today. I didn't really know any of them and I worked all by myself the entire time at the direction of my team leader and was unsure if it was done on purpose because people don't like me. I was ok with it. It just seemed like the other people seemed upset.

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## IllusionOfHappiness

Finding out just now that I missed an important appointment today. Oops.  ::\: 
Guess I'll just have to re-book. This is a first. I've never made an appointment anywhere and had them not blow up my phone with reminders about the appt. date. I suppose there is a *small* chance it was never actually booked. Maybe they misunderstood me when I said I would get back to them about appointments 3 and 4, and thought I meant that I changed my mind about the first two as well. I will feel less like a failure if it was a misunderstanding. Still, FUCK. I needed this to be in the process of happening and I went and screwed everything up. I seem to excel at that.

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## GunnyHighway

Party up in the chat room. Thought about joining up...but nope. I'm sure everyone in there are all friends and I'd barely know anyone.  :lurk:

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## QuietCalamity

My supervisor wanted to know all about my family. I tried to change the subject but it kept coming up. I never know what to say to people about it.

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## Chantellabella

It was on Monday................

I had to be honest to a co-worker about her yelling at me, the teens and patrons. I was supposed to go out on Sat with my co-workers, but I was so sick of her yelling and demanding that she did the week before, that I skipped the event. 

I told her on Monday in as nice a way possible. I said, "When you scream at me, I feel embarrassed. I need you to not scream at me or the teens or the patrons." She seemed hurt, but understood.

Now my anxiety is about standing up for my rights and setting boundaries. She's moping around like a victim. She spent the summer screaming at everyone and everything and I set a boundary. Why am I the bad guy? 

These kind of things make me anxious. I know I have no control over others and if they don't understand or can't take someone setting honest boundaries, well, it's their problem, right? She's the type of person who finds it hard to take the blame for anything and makes excuses for her "blow ups." 

It could be that she's pretty young and hasn't learned to deal with frustration. I just wanted to make sure I didn't set up the same scenario as my old job............that it's alright to yell at me or bully me.

And I have to stop making excused for other people's bad behavior. I have to stop saying it's ok to act that way towards me.

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## merc

Now my anxiety is about standing up for my rights and setting boundaries. She's moping around like a victim. She spent the summer screaming at everyone and everything and I set a boundary. Why am I the bad guy? 


These are things I don't think I'll ever understand. The person who thinks it is acceptable for them to ask this way. She would be upset if someone treated her the way she treats others. Right now I'm dealing with two younger workers, who for some reason or another don't like me. They don't say anything, but constantly give me the eye rolls and smirks at each other when I'm around. I've a teenage daughter who does this so I am used to it. These girls are maybe early 20s. 

They are also really kind of mean with similar eye roll type of behavior to this girl who I guess has an alternative look going on. She is so very pretty despite her ear gauges, nose piercing,  black and white hair, and tattoos. The best word to describe my two eye rollers is chubby short and squat. I kind of question why such a pretty girls is so into looking scary but she is very nice and smart and plans to be an art teacher or do something creative which is what I myself may have liked to do. The other two, well, one is a Mom of two at 20. She is nice. The other is very quiet and she also has tattoos which seems to be the thing among the younger set. I can see her working these low end type jobs forever.

They make me nervous because it is really hard to take the high road and not "avoid" them. By that I mean, I struggle to be pleasant and talk to them. They already hate me. Why should I try? This is the type of habit I've gotten into all my life. I get an unpleasant vibe off some people and I will not speak to them unless I absolutely have to.

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## L

I asked a question during a presentation - it made my heart thump in my chest, my feet become restless and blush like hell but I did it anyway

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## IllusionOfHappiness

> I asked a question during a presentation - it made my heart thump in my chest, my feet become restless and blush like hell but I did it anyway



Good for you, lasair!  ::

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## Harpuia

13 days until work starts and I grow more anxious by the day...

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## SmileyFace

A minor mistake or two I made on the job.

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## QuietCalamity

Leaving voicemails. Also? EVERYTHING. My anxiety has just turned into a black hole today.

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## Koalafan

Is it sad that something as simple as putting gas in my car makes my anxiety sky-rocket? I mean sure it's a combination of things...1) I hate driving and driving anytime anywhere is a brutal experience and 2) this was the first REAL time I've had to put gas in my car (my mom would always fill it up for me) 3) Of course I screwed up and the gas attendant had to address me over the intercom as well  :Tongue: . Thankfully everything turned out fine in the end but it is just so draining that something that is mundane to everyone else cripples me to the point I can barely function.

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## Total Eclipse

I don't know if anyone else gets this (but living with family you get woken up A LOT rudely....) anytime I am woken up suddenly (alarm clock, people, etc...) my heart races and I get an anxiety attack and the anxiety levels don't go down for 4-6 hours >.<

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## IllusionOfHappiness

Every time I think about school I feel like hurling.

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## Monowheat

Today I have a particular subject/person going around and around in my mind and it won't stop! >,<

If I can't distract myself I get anxious.

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## QuietCalamity

Guy at the store. He kept running into me and leering at me as he walked by. And every time he said something like, "Hey lady!" in a flirty but also threatening (?) kind of way... I am small and men are scary. I need a taser.

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## GunnyHighway

> Guy at the store. He kept running into me and leering at me as he walked by. And every time he said something like, "Hey lady!" in a flirty but also threatening (?) kind of way... I am small and men are scary. I need a taser.



Or one of these. So tiny and so pink  :Tongue:

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## QuietCalamity

> Or one of these. So tiny and so pink



Err tiny and pink is not really my style.  :Razz:  Plus I don't want to really cause harm to anybody.... I just wanna see creeps twitching out on the ground from time to time.  ::D:  I was thinking more like this:

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## IllusionOfHappiness

Trying to figure out a bus route home from the campus. Damn Google maps isn't showing me the one thing I need to see. 

I need to preface this with the fact that I love my parents very much and I realize how lucky I am to be in the situation I'm in with them supporting me financially. And the fact that we can communicate at all is great - I know a lot of people here don't have that. They do way more for me than I feel like I deserve. There is no denying that and I am thankful for it every day. 

This isn't something I dwell on or constantly resent them for because that would be pointless and counter-productive, but sometimes I do need to address it. Tonight is one of those times:
*I was not brought up to be independent and it has severely aggravated both my generalized and social anxiety.* I'm the youngest of five. I was always coddled. I was taught not to trust anybody or go anywhere or do anything, at least not without an older chaperone to protect me. I grew up thinking that everything was unsafe and pretty much everyone is not trustworthy. My mother is more scared than I am for tomorrow and how I'm getting home, doesn't want me to end up waiting for buses in bad neighbourhoods etc. Though I should know better, seeing her anxious, this woman who has decades of life experience on me, triggers my own anxiety. If she's upset, I should be upset too, right? Wrong. If anything, sometimes her anxiety is worse than mine. So I'm wrong to react based on how she's reacting. But she's my mom, ya know? I look to her for signs of when to be concerned and when not to be. Fucks with my head. I wish my sister were here to talk some sense into me. If I react based on how my mother reacts, I will _always_ feel small and insecure and unprepared and incapable.

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## toaster little

Babies crying or yelling while shopping or eating

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## QuietCalamity

I called a therapy place last week and had to call them back today. I couldn't get myself to leave a voicemail after calling like 3 times. Then they call me and are like, "I saw you called..." And I basically sounded like an idiot. I know i shouldn't be, but I'm so nervous about this.

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## AndrewsSmith

Getting redundancy is something real to worry about. Just that shows how stupid my stuff is.

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## Monowheat

Going to the doctor today and telling him about how I've been feeling (a lack of desire to live but not suicidal) the extremely worried expression on his face when I said it just made me feel worse.

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## Harpuia

My chances of losing my job have just gone back up today due to my inability to recover enough for work in time.

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## GunnyHighway

Got invited to my uncle's stag. I've never been to one before. Probably going to involve copious amounts of booze and drugs.

Ahhhhhh.  :hide:

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## IllusionOfHappiness

> Got invited to my uncle's stag. I've never been to one before. Probably going to involve copious amounts of booze and drugs.
> 
> Ahhhhhh.



Sounds like my first week of classes  :: 

Minus the booze, save for right now. 'Cause, yanno...it's Saturday.

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## L

Mini family reunion thing....everyone was asking me questions

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## Heelsbythebridge

Thoughts of another first day of work tomorrow, only worse because (a) I haven't even met my employers in person before (they hired me after only a brief email conversation and phone interview), and (b) I haven't had time for a dry run to the location and am terrified I'll get lost.

And also the lucidity of being completely alone, once again, in a city that's practically foreign. The loneliness and fear is as profound as it was the last time.

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## Monowheat

Today I bought myself something that I don't _need_. Aka I spent money on myself.

_I will not feel bad about this, I will not feel bad about this, I will not feel bad about this._(repeat)

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## merc

Don't know, just got a weird feeling of dread, like something bad will happen today.

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## QuietCalamity

A coworker tried to engage me in conversation yesterday and I blew it. Now I can't stop beating myself up over it. I haven't felt this much SA since my freshman year of college.

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## QuietCalamity

Gaaaaaaaahhhh everythinnnnnggg

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## Sainnot

I was sitting on the bus and someone was sitting in a seat not next to mine but close and I was in their general cone of vision, and it causes me so stress because I was trying to look normal the whole ride and it wa hard and then they turned away from me and I think it’s because they thought I was weird and didn’t want to see me anymore

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## Karen

My job is [BEEP] and I hate everything right now.

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