# Anxiety Disorders > Unsure and Other Mental Health Issues >  >  I feel as If things Are Talking to me........

## alee

So last night i was out with my family at a restaurant on the seaside to celebrate my parents' 26th anniversary. As I got up from the table to go and select food (There is large open kitchen from where u get to select anything u want, in the end u get to pay).

Nevertheless as i was picking my choice, dad steps up from behind and sort of instructs me to try this and this instead of what i was putting on my table. This is one problem, the other is that I am very poor when it comes to such decision making.

I cannot choose what to pick cuz its like the things are like talking to me, saying "PICK ME, PICK ME....".

I have had this problem since childhood. Even going for shopping clothes n stuff was a problem 4 me but i never showed it cuz i felt it was worthless. I guess its cuz i hv a wild imagination or whatever........need some help here!!!

Nevertheless going to the kitchen for the 2nd round, took my sister along and she picked up the food for me cuz i was too nervous to make my own choice.

My point is that is it me or does it usually happen to people?

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## CityofAngels

Not to me.

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## Chantellabella

It sounds like an old tape because I have that happen too. By an old tape, I mean, your father and maybe your whole family overstep your boundaries by telling you what to do and so even when they aren't there, you still hear them. My whole life, people told me what to do, choose, think, and say. So long after they were not here, my brain still said to do what they said. It's called conditioning. 

One of the ways I was able to stop it in order to decide what I wanted to say/do/choose/think was to answer that voice back and say "no, this is what I want" or "no, this is what I think." 

I think this phenomena is pretty common in enmeshed families where people do not have good personal boundaries. In my family, my parents and brothers felt they had a right to speak and think for me and so they did. I let them do it because it was safer than going up against them. Now, when I'm around my mother and she says, "you're cold" or "you're hungry," I tell her if I am or not. 

The last time I saw  my younger brother was in 2005 at my dad's funeral and then hadn't seen him the 12 years before that. I noticed that at my dad's funeral when my mother said, "you're hungry" he also said "no, I'm not." So breaking away from the people who over step your boundaries and learning how to set healthy boundaries helps. I know this isn't always possible, especially if you are still with your parents. 

But it's a vicious circle in some families and yes, it's both annoying and crazy making. It's also debilitating because if it continues well into adulthood, then it can lead to total dependence. If a person believes he or she can't think/say/do for themselves and needs someone else to do it for them, then they believe they are incapable of ever living on their own.

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## alee

> It sounds like an old tape because I have that happen too. By an old tape, I mean, your father and maybe your whole family overstep your boundaries by telling you what to do and so even when they aren't there, you still hear them. My whole life, people told me what to do, choose, think, and say. So long after they were not here, my brain still said to do what they said. It's called conditioning. 
> 
> One of the ways I was able to stop it in order to decide what I wanted to say/do/choose/think was to answer that voice back and say "no, this is what I want" or "no, this is what I think." 
> 
> I think this phenomena is pretty common in enmeshed families where people do not have good personal boundaries. In my family, my parents and brothers felt they had a right to speak and think for me and so they did. I let them do it because it was safer than going up against them. Now, when I'm around my mother and she says, "you're cold" or "you're hungry," I tell her if I am or not. 
> 
> The last time I saw  my younger brother was in 2005 at my dad's funeral and then hadn't seen him the 12 years before that. I noticed that at my dad's funeral when my mother said, "you're hungry" he also said "no, I'm not." So breaking away from the people who over step your boundaries and learning how to set healthy boundaries helps. I know this isn't always possible, especially if you are still with your parents. 
> 
> But it's a vicious circle in some families and yes, it's both annoying and crazy making. It's also debilitating because if it continues well into adulthood, then it can lead to total dependence. If a person believes he or she can't think/say/do for themselves and needs someone else to do it for them, then they believe they are incapable of ever living on their own.




Thats about the influence of others in the decision making, what about the thing where i imagine the things on the shelf talking to me. Honestly when i was little it happened to me most of the time..........

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## Chantellabella

> Thats about the influence of others in the decision making, what about the thing where i imagine the things on the shelf talking to me. Honestly when i was little it happened to me most of the time..........



When you were a child, did your parents do what some parents on TV do..............they make a little squeaky sound behind your back that says, "pick me" as though the blue bear spoke to you rather than the red bear? Or you could just have an active imagination. I'm just trying to understand. Do you actually hear them with a voice outside of your head like a hallucination?

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## alee

> When you were a child, did your parents do what some parents on TV do..............they make a little squeaky sound behind your back that says, "pick me" as though the blue bear spoke to you rather than the red bear? Or you could just have an active imagination. I'm just trying to understand. Do you actually hear them with a voice outside of your head like a hallucination?



Nah my parents never spoke behind my ear like that. I guess its my imagination. And one more thing, when i used to choose the things for buying, i felt like the other stuff @ the shelf is kinda like "Awwwwww" as in i did not choose em................this is crazy stuff, yeah i know but worrying as well

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## Apocalyptic

Doesn't happen to me. I guess you have this realization that it is happening. That is progress. Learn to rectify/ ignore it.

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## heisenberg

> Nah my parents never spoke behind my ear like that. I guess its my imagination. And one more thing, when i used to choose the things for buying, i felt like the other stuff @ the shelf is kinda like "Awwwwww" as in i did not choose em................this is crazy stuff, yeah i know but worrying as well



When I was young I used to hoard trash and other items because I thought the things had feelings, like they were people, and didn't want me to throw them away.  I knew intellectually, that they didn't really have feelings, but another part of my brain tried to convince me that they did. I think the psychological term is something like personification, like in literature or art where you add human aspects to an inanimate object.

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## compulsive

Yeah I have this a bit. Ha I remember waking up and down a long city street twice and still not being sure what I wanted to eat. I would walk past a shop and spend a minute thinking about if I really wanted to buy there and then leave. So much oh should I have this, or that? But its more like me imagining what I want rather than food talking. 

What I just do is ask: does it really matter? Its just food. I can't really be taking up this much time about which will taste better, when it will be gone in 5-10 minutes can i? Are you afraid of maybe the food not being tasty? And regretting the decision?

I can only go by what I have experienced myself so: try to lower the importance of food tasting nice. Remind yourself that food will be gone soon and its not a major part of your day. Its not worth wasting 30 minutes trying to decide what to eat. You can always get something else if the food tastes horrible.

edit: if its like a forced lucid daydream it could be OCD.

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