# Anxiety Disorders > Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) >  >  Do you guys ever have dreams about people online finding out your real name?

## toaster little

This is maybe the second or third time I had a dream about someone in a chat knowing my real name or full name.  Does this ever happen to anyone else?

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## GunnyHighway

There's millions of other Kyles, I don't really care myself. I'm pretty open about my troubles if someone in real life wants to know.

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## Skippy

I couldn't care less what people know. 99.99% of people dun care bout such things anyway. 
I wouldn't be paranoid about what people know. I'm an open book,and there is no person in this world I fear or who could hurt me. (well within the law anyway, it's not likely anyone would otherwise ether as I've done nothing and I stay outta trouble n' know what to keep away from.)

A problem with the world is they still use terms like "Real Life" as if people online are just computers themselves or something. They just as real as anything else. The concept is still new tho; next generation it'll be different prolly like all the other times.

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## Otherside

Some people on here know what my real name is, some people don't.

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## QuietCalamity

I am a little nervous about someone in my life somehow finding this site and then somehow recognizing me by the details of what I post. I would for sure be uneasy about, say, my supervisor knowing this much about my mental health. On another note, it would mean confrontation if someone from my family or my fiancÃ©'s family saw some of my posts. Those are the reasons I (sort of) try to stay on the dl as far as real names / identifying details. Not too likely but you never know. 

It wouldn't mean so much if someone here found out my identity. What would they do about it? Stalk me? Tell on me? I trust you's guys.  ::D:

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## IllusionOfHappiness

> I am a little nervous about someone in my life somehow finding this site and then somehow recognizing me by the details of what I post. I would for sure be uneasy about, say, my supervisor knowing this much about my mental health. On another note, it would mean confrontation if someone from my family or my fiancÃ©'s family saw some of my posts. Those are the reasons I (sort of) try to stay on the dl as far as real names / identifying details. Not too likely but you never know. 
> 
> *It wouldn't mean so much if someone here found out my identity. What would they do about it? Stalk me? Tell on me? I trust you's guys.*



Ditto, I'm more concerned about someone IRL knowing the gory details of my mental health. Though, I'm sure it would clear some things up for them!

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## merc

I also worry about people I know in my life finding out what I post. Some people on here seem to be so open. It's hard to believe that they have any anxiety at all. I think true anonymity comes with life in the big city. I live in an area where if my name is mentioned, people know who I am, who my parents are who my Grandparents were and any crazy things they might have done. This can be very good and or very bad depending. I know some "names" and sometimes when my children say a last name of a classmate or friend, alarm bells go off in my head, remembering their relative for whatever misdeed.

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## Chantellabella

I gained a stupid stalker years ago when I gave out my email to her. Then I mistakenly sent her back an email from work and then she thought she had power with it. Turns out she was just a frumpy housewife who had delusions of being like the demon queen or something. It was very annoying. So there are some things I will withhold online. But when I get to know people and find I can trust them, I have no problem with giving them my real name or email. I've even met several online friends in person (from another site). It's kinda cool to be able to finally meet the people you talk with for years.

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## toaster little

> I gained a stupid stalker years ago when I gave out my email to her. Then I mistakenly sent her back an email from work and then she thought she had power with it. Turns out she was just a frumpy housewife who had delusions of being like the demon queen or something. It was very annoying. So there are some things I will withhold online. But when I get to know people and find I can trust them, I have no problem with giving them my real name or email. I've even met several online friends in person (from another site). It's kinda cool to be able to finally meet the people you talk with for years.



I would actually like to meet some of the people I've talked to online, but I would prefer to keep the real world and the online world completely separate. It would sound pretty weird if I asked the person I met to keep my identity and my details a secret from everyone on here after we both met from AS.

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## Misssy

Never. Have not been able to recall a dream for a long time.

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## sanspants

No fears here. I'm pretty open about most things too. Although I don't want this site to come up in a Google search of my name, I have no reason to hide it from anyone on AS or any other support forum.

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## Ironman

> No fears here. I'm pretty open about most things too. Although I don't want this site to come up in a Google search of my name, I have no reason to hide it from anyone on AS or any other support forum.



They wouldn't find anything but the pants you left behind  ::

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## sanspants

> They wouldn't find anything but the pants you left behind



I hate that. My pants are _all over the internets_  ::D:

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## Ironman

> I hate that. My pants are _all over the internets_



Slacks, sweatpants, jeans, pajamas  ::

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## sanspants

> Slacks, sweatpants, jeans, pajamas



All the pants. Everywhurrr! Some people leave trails of breadcrumbs so they don't get lost. I leave khakis.

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## toaster little

> All the pants. Everywhurrr! Some people leave trails of breadcrumbs so they don't get lost. I leave khakis.



Lol I don't know why it took me a while to notice that your username is sans pants.

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## Skippy

> All the pants. Everywhurrr! Some people leave trails of breadcrumbs so they don't get lost. I leave khakis.



Lolzzzz!  :XD: 
Horray for paaaants!


Btw ppl,im not trying to be an [BEEP] with that talk from me like "I don't fear people in any way shape of form" I just say such in the hopes that such a way of thinking might rub off on people juuuuust a little. It's just amazing how you feel once you exercise that total confidence.....

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## sanspants

> Lolzzzz! 
> Horray for paaaants!
> 
> 
> Btw ppl,im not trying to be an [BEEP] with that talk from me like "I don't fear people in any way shape of form" I just say such in the hopes that such a way of thinking might rub off on people juuuuust a little. It's just amazing how you feel once you exercise that total confidence.....



Indeed  ::):  On a sorta-quasi-related note, I've always thought it odd how so many socially-anxious folks are also afraid of people themselves. Me, I just know I'm going to put my foot in my mouth at some point. But I won't feel intimidated by the person I'm talking to just because of my own awkwardness. 

Duzzat make sense?

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## Skippy

> Indeed  On a sorta-quasi-related note, I've always thought it odd how so many socially-anxious folks are also afraid of people themselves. Me, I just know I'm going to put my foot in my mouth at some point. But I won't feel intimidated by the person I'm talking to just because of my own awkwardness. 
> 
> Duzzat make sense?



Yah that makes sense. It's really hard to remember such things myself as it was about 20 years ago now. But thats the thing tho, no need to feel like crap over it cuz even ppl who are good socially make stupid mistakes. no one should beat emselves up over it tho. way I see it if we're not hurting others and good people then that's all the reason to think good of ourselves and be accepting that screw ups happen n we cant do perfect all the time.
If someone wants to react in a negative way over such mistakes then they can really shove it up their [BEEP] sideways. lol that's not the kinda person ya wanna socialize with anyway who can't be understanding that maybe some stuff is difficult for some people.

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## toaster little

> I wish I was more comfortable talking about my personal life without the fear of somehow being found online. It feels like I'm missing an opportunity here to build a real connection with people that are dealing with the same mental issues.
> 
> I really like how Kirsebear for example is so open and shows photos of whatever she's been doing. It adds a lot to this place.



Me too.  I'm always worried about someone figuring out my username and stalking all of my previous posts to see what I've been talking about.  Some of them will go out of their way to confront me about it IRL which can make a lot of things awkward.  I've had people from school do this online it was very odd.  I know I sound paranoid, but these days you have to be careful and safe online.  Whenever I bring up concerns like this everyone think I'm weird and start treating me like I have some major issues.

I usually feel comfortable being vague about where I live when I talk to people online.  I've had concerns about people sharing that information with other strangers.  For example, if I said I lived in San Jose and they had a new member who was from NorCal, they might bring up my name and how I live in San Jose.  They just gave away information about where I am to a total stranger and I'm never comfortable with that.  The San Jose area alone has 2 million when you don't include the entire Silicon Valley, which is 8.5 million, but that doesn't make it ok just because the person you're talking about lives in a big city.

Other things I rarely discuss have to do with work.  With certain jobs, just stating what you do narrows down where you work and if you talk about work too much, then they can quickly narrow down what company you work for and then your building address and phone number which is creepy.  No one wants strangers calling them at their jobs with unwanted comments and questions.  I also wonder if people would think that a person with anxiety should never have certain jobs.  If I said that I have a certain position but others believed that you could never function at that job with anxiety issues, then that would make it kind of difficult to talk to people about what you do.

If I hadn't gone to school with so many creeps, I'd feel better about this stuff.

So far I've left out details about what I do for work and where I live and people have thought it was weird that I wouldn't want to discuss it when other people were more open about what kinds of jobs they had and what states and cities they lived in.

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## Ironman

> Indeed  On a sorta-quasi-related note, I've always thought it odd how so many socially-anxious folks are also afraid of people themselves. Me, I just know I'm going to put my foot in my mouth at some point. But I won't feel intimidated by the person I'm talking to just because of my own awkwardness. 
> 
> Duzzat make sense?







> Yah that makes sense. It's really hard to remember such things myself as it was about 20 years ago now. But thats the thing tho, no need to feel like crap over it cuz even ppl who are good socially make stupid mistakes. no one should beat emselves up over it tho. way I see it if we're not hurting others and good people then that's all the reason to think good of ourselves and be accepting that screw ups happen n we cant do perfect all the time.
> If someone wants to react in a negative way over such mistakes then they can really shove it up their [BEEP] sideways. lol that's not the kinda person ya wanna socialize with anyway who can't be understanding that maybe some stuff is difficult for some people.



Well, you two are pretty awesome.  Just make sure you wear pants, mmkay?   :: 

Everybody screws up!

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## Skippy

> Me too.  I'm always worried about someone figuring out my username and stalking all of my previous posts to see what I've been talking about.  Some of them will go out of their way to confront me about it IRL which can make a lot of things awkward.  I've had people from school do this online it was very odd.  I know I sound paranoid, but these days you have to be careful and safe online.  Whenever I bring up concerns like this everyone think I'm weird and start treating me like I have some major issues.
> 
> I usually feel comfortable being vague about where I live when I talk to people online.  I've had concerns about people sharing that information with other strangers.  For example, if I said I lived in San Jose and they had a new member who was from NorCal, they might bring up my name and how I live in San Jose.  They just gave away information about where I am to a total stranger and I'm never comfortable with that.  The San Jose area alone has 2 million when you don't include the entire Silicon Valley, which is 8.5 million, but that doesn't make it ok just because the person you're talking about lives in a big city.
> 
> Other things I rarely discuss have to do with work.  With certain jobs, just stating what you do narrows down where you work and if you talk about work too much, then they can quickly narrow down what company you work for and then your building address and phone number which is creepy.  No one wants strangers calling them at their jobs with unwanted comments and questions.  I also wonder if people would think that a person with anxiety should never have certain jobs.  If I said that I have a certain position but others believed that you could never function at that job with anxiety issues, then that would make it kind of difficult to talk to people about what you do.
> 
> If I hadn't gone to school with so many creeps, I'd feel better about this stuff.
> 
> So far I've left out details about what I do for work and where I live and people have thought it was weird that I wouldn't want to discuss it when other people were more open about what kinds of jobs they had and what states and cities they lived in.



What I just dun get is why would people stalk anyone?? I've never seen it happen once in my whole 35 years they gotta be reaaaaaally crazy to do that.
if someone did that to me i'd just laugh at em n' say flattery wont get em anywhere. 
it never matters tho what people think. if they don't wanna talk about things without judgement on how someone with anxiety can't do this or that it's the same as i said before, not worth talking to. and difficult, yes that's when ya just say "I ain't talkin' to you about this stuff its pointless to try" n' well too bad so sad for them; can't see it as yer fault.

my reasons for not being afraid of what people know is im 100% sure no one would stalk me unless they were psycho crazy person n' thankfully most are not to that degree, but way i see it if anyone starts any [BEEP] with me they gonna be dealt with. it'd be an annoyance, but fun to deal with actually. Just can't see how anyone could hurt me in that way, especially not in person, I mean.

I'm not even sure why someone would bother to call my work even if they had number like what would be their reasoning for doing so n' for what purpose?
If they did and it was unwanted I'd sure tell em so...lol 
"Yah...dude.....don't call me here, it's a waste or time for both you and I."

I dunno. If one is uncomfy telling ppl certain things then I guess its best they don't.
tho there are ways to deal with people in just about any difficult situation

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## Skippy

> Well, you two are pretty awesome.  Just make sure you wear pants, mmkay?  
> 
> Everybody screws up!



I alllllllways wear pants...hehee..........paaaants.  :XD:  

Yah! I'm really good socially, I loooooove socializing n' hate being by myself too long cept sometimes it's nice when I wanna relax n' do stuff on my own time, but I sometimes on occasion say really stupid things. Everyone does. I laugh at it and turn it into somethin' to joke about perhaps; I never make it a big deal.
I think some people just too hard on themselves. It's easy to focus on all the bad or stupid things one can do, but that's a habit one's gotta get out of, loosen up, n' try to enjoy our short lives here! Again, if someone wants to be a jerk to anyone, that's their own problem and fault. Lotta people are very understanding n' stuff.

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## sanspants

> What I just dun get is why would people stalk anyone?? I've never seen it happen once in my whole 35 years they gotta be reaaaaaally crazy to do that.
> if someone did that to me i'd just laugh at em n' say flattery wont get em anywhere. 
> it never matters tho what people think. if they don't wanna talk about things without judgement on how someone with anxiety can't do this or that it's the same as i said before, not worth talking to. and difficult, yes that's when ya just say "I ain't talkin' to you about this stuff its pointless to try" n' well too bad so sad for them; can't see it as yer fault.
> 
> my reasons for not being afraid of what people know is im 100% sure no one would stalk me unless they were psycho crazy person n' thankfully most are not to that degree, but way i see it if anyone starts any [BEEP] with me they gonna be dealt with. it'd be an annoyance, but fun to deal with actually. Just can't see how anyone could hurt me in that way, especially not in person, I mean.
> 
> I'm not even sure why someone would bother to call my work even if they had number like what would be their reasoning for doing so n' for what purpose?
> If they did and it was unwanted I'd sure tell em so...lol 
> "Yah...dude.....don't call me here, it's a waste or time for both you and I."
> ...



I've had stalkers, both male and female. But none from a website for anxiety support. Even if I were stalked by someone from here, I'd think them to be pretty harmless. If you want to stalk me, I'll tell ya where I work. In fact, I'd be interested to know why you're that interested in me  ::D: . But if you call, I'll probably hang up on ya, because it's not *that* novel to me. If you're in the parking lot near my car, it's only a matter of time before security hauls you away. Inside, this place is a fortress. So is my apartment. Now, if you're a ninja, I'm sure you'll find a way inside. But for some reason I just don't worry about ninjas  ::  

Yanno? 

When working in public service, it's inevitable that you'll be stalked. Once you look at it from a practical standpoint it's not such a big deal. I know, circumstances vary. For me, the only real point of vulnerability (for a non-ninja) would be the 15 seconds it takes for me to walk from the car into the apartment building.

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## Skippy

> I've had stalkers, both male and female. But none from a website for anxiety support. Even if I were stalked by someone from here, I'd think them to be pretty harmless. If you want to stalk me, I'll tell ya where I work. In fact, I'd be interested to know why you're that interested in me . But if you call, I'll probably hang up on ya, because it's not *that* novel to me. If you're in the parking lot near my car, it's only a matter of time before security hauls you away. Inside, this place is a fortress. So is my apartment. Now, if you're a ninja, I'm sure you'll find a way inside. But for some reason I just don't worry about ninjas  
> 
> Yanno? 
> 
> When working in public service, it's inevitable that you'll be stalked. Once you look at it from a practical standpoint it's not such a big deal. I know, circumstances vary. For me, the only real point of vulnerability (for a non-ninja) would be the 15 seconds it takes for me to walk from the car into the apartment building.



Ninjas! Whoohoo! Yah ikr! I'd wanna know just why someone would wanna do such...lol

I'd be all for anyone hangin' around, granted that they dun cause any trouble. That's when it'd be time for [BEEP] paddlin' 

but stalkers....haha...people are SO strange in this world...takes all kinds I guess heheh

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## Chantellabella

> I'd wanna know just why someone would wanna do such...lol



Well, in my case, the stalker was narcissistic and just didn't get it that the world didn't revolve around her. She didn't understand boundaires nor social cues. I'm sure she had borderline personality characteristics too in that she either loved you or hated you and saw everything in black and white and extremes. When I told her that her talk of demons and such made me uncomfortable to keep talking to her, rather than do what a sane person would do (just stop talking to me), she started stalking me. She was used to rejection, so I don't think it was that. She was picking fights all over cyberspace and fighting everyone in her path. I just figured rather than deal with her problems, she just spent her days distracting with fighting. She left a mess trail a mile wide and across throughout the internet. I'm sure she's still out there fighting with someone who disagreed with her. Pretty sad way to waste your life.

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## Chantellabella

> In this day and age, you can probably find one's whereabouts if they are on the General Election roll.



But why would you need to look for someone? I can see if they were an old friend or a relative. I just don't see the point of stalking someone. If they say "go away," I'm sure they mean go away. Assuming they don't mean it says more about the stalker than them. It says they feel others are wrong and they are right. 

Like with my stalker. I told her to go away. She didn't. How more clear could the words "go away" mean? Did she assume I made a mistake in my judgment? Did she assume that she knew what was best for me? All I saw it as, was a gross over stepping of my boundaries. 

Stalking someone is not ok in my book. It really isn't the healthy way to deal with problems. 

I know I've lost friends over misunderstandings and miss them terribly. But I have to accept that I screwed up and move on. That helps us to grow rather than stay stuck in the past.

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## Skippy

> Well, in my case, the stalker was narcissistic and just didn't get it that the world didn't revolve around her. She didn't understand boundaires nor social cues. I'm sure she had borderline personality characteristics too in that she either loved you or hated you and saw everything in black and white and extremes. When I told her that her talk of demons and such made me uncomfortable to keep talking to her, rather than do what a sane person would do (just stop talking to me), she started stalking me. She was used to rejection, so I don't think it was that. She was picking fights all over cyberspace and fighting everyone in her path. I just figured rather than deal with her problems, she just spent her days distracting with fighting. She left a mess trail a mile wide and across throughout the internet. I'm sure she's still out there fighting with someone who disagreed with her. Pretty sad way to waste your life.



Whoaaaa thats scaaaary. It _is_ really sad, actually. Just dunno what the hell is wrong with people these days. T_T

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