# Anxiety Disorders > Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) >  >  Depression is kicking my @$$

## Keddy

Lately especially over the holidays I've felt like crap. I've contacted my friends but haven't bothered to actually make the effort to hang out with anyone. I just don't want to and I'm not sure why. I can't even go to the grocery store without feeling like it's a major effort. I've been consuming unhealthy amounts of caffeine just to get myself to wake up throughout the day  ::(: 
It's not so much that I'm actually physically tired, it's more like I'm being dragged down so hard by my depression that it's exhausting my brain.
I sleep until late in the afternoon, get up for a few hours and run to the store or walk my dog or something, then either go back to bed or spend endless hours on the computer. Most of the time I'm either watching TV, gaming, or on the Internet but either way I'm sedentary and lack the motivation to get up.
I'm in therapy but I'm not medicated anymore because I was on a med that increased my appetite and caused me to gain weight like mad :/
My therapist says I really should just go out and do stuff, even if I go to the mall with my friends and don't buy anything, just walk around... Uggggh but it's sooo hard x( I wish I had a hole to crawl in. I DO NOT want to be outside of my comfort zone (home).
I haven't felt like eating anything other than really crap junk food and chocolate which of course isn't going to make me feel any better. Going to the gym feels like a death sentence because I'm terrible with people and I feel like all the jocks that go there are staring me down and laughing the whole time.
I honestly don't know what to do. I have to work all the rest of this week, and Friday-Sunday I have to work on a project with a friend that requires me to stay at his house and we have to drive 3+ hours early in the morning both Saturday and Sunday. By the time we get back to his house it will likely be past midnight. Shoot me.  ::(: 
Sorry for the long post, I just really could use some advice, because I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired  :Razz: 
Thanks  ::):

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## Inscrutable Banana

I've been feeling similarly and doing (or not doing, as the case may be) a lot of the same things myself. I'm not quite sure what to do about it myself, so unfortunately I can't really be of much help in that regard. I can definitely relate to your situation though, for whatever that's worth.

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## Chantellabella

Depression does suck. I've been in that place where everything is an effort. But the fact that you recognize what you're doing says you're a lot healthier than you give yourself credit for. Some people never even see what they are doing. 

I know when I've been down in a depression hole, I've forced myself to do good things for me ..... things I wanted to do rather than things I "should" do. It would rejuvenate me to color or just sit on a swing. It was as though I was indulging my inner child and that self indulgence made me feel loved and pampered. My mood would tend to get better after that.

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