# Healing and Wellbeing > Study, Work and Welfare >  >  What to do if you had a job offer but you were waiting to hear from first choice

## toaster little

What do you guys do in these cases?
Let me give some scenarios.

First choice is in the area where you live and you won't have to move. The second choice is far away and you will definitely have to move.Second choice is close to home and first choice is farther away. Let's say that the first choice is in the city you would prefer to live over where you are now.
The first choice job has more competition and chances of getting it might not be in your favor.

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## Skippy

Im a lil confused here....first choice is in area where you live, yet in a city you'd prefer to be than where you are now??

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## toaster little

> Im a lil confused here....first choice is in area where you live, yet in a city you'd prefer to be than where you are now??



In the first scenario, first choice is in the area you currently live.  Starting work right now would mean moving away from home.

In the second scenario, first choice is in an area where you want to live.  Starting work right now would mean you don't have to move.

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## Skippy

Ahh, maybe it's just me right now....tonite I'm feelin' a lil screwed up from my injury this summer.

The 1st choice sounds better to me. I'd go after it with a determination so fierce people wouldn't dare get in my way (sadly that's how it seems to be these days) and I'd go for it like I have full belief that i could achieve it. but that's just me. the second choice would be there should I fail to achieve the 1st one, I'm guessin.

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## sanspants

There are a lot of factors to consider, but timing would be the big one for me. As in, you could accept your second choice by phone, but not sign any contractual agreement, while waiting  to hear back from the first choice. It's not a "clean" way to play, and I know you don't want to mess with anyone, but IMO it's how to look out for your best interests.

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## Skippy

.

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## sanspants

> That's how this world works though...gotta play dirty...LOL
> That's the secret....true success comes when you lose all fear...when people or things can't intimidate you in any sorta way, and you never give up until you get what you want, whatever the cost, taking charge of every situation that comes your way. it's a lil somethin' I'm learnin about this world of late.
> Hopefully there'd be some happy medium in that philosophy to stop people from becoming totally heartless...



Exactly. I was sorta writing a blog about becoming part of your environment, and I wanted to say, you have to take what you can from the world, if you can do it without hurting anyone. And really, when you accept a job and then change your mind, you're not hurting anyone. You might be causing someone's HR dept. to do some extra paperwork, but they're getting paid for it. They're already where they want to be, so I don't think we have to feel bad for them. I don't think I ever found the happy medium, since I'm in healthcare and it's all about the patients. But one day I'll step out of here, and I'll have to. It's good to ponder this stuff now.

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## Skippy

> Exactly. I was sorta writing a blog about becoming part of your environment, and I wanted to say, you have to take what you can from the world, if you can do it without hurting anyone. And really, when you accept a job and then change your mind, you're not hurting anyone. You might be causing someone's HR dept. to do some extra paperwork, but they're getting paid for it. They're already where they want to be, so I don't think we have to feel bad for them. I don't think I ever found the happy medium, since I'm in healthcare and it's all about the patients. But one day I'll step out of here, and I'll have to. It's good to ponder this stuff now.



Yah it's a good thing to ponder. It's sad and amazing at the same time to see how it works. Once I brought this stuff into practice tho things got better for me. I wouldn't take defeat for an answer. I hear so many people always being 'afraid they will fail' sorta thing.....but thats a bad way of thinking. I never would'a got as I am on the guitar if I thought like that. We really do gotta stay determined to get what we go for whatever it'll take.
If it does mean playing dirty tho......I think thats the happy medium....like the diff between saay what ya described and when it acctually starts causing real harm to others. I wouldn't do it at the cost of loosing who I was, likee sadly a lotta people did....

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## sanspants

> Yah it's a good thing to ponder. It's sad and amazing at the same time to see how it works. Once I brought this stuff into practice tho things got better for me. I wouldn't take defeat for an answer. I hear so many people always being 'afraid they will fail' sorta thing.....but thats a bad way of thinking. I never would'a got as I am on the guitar if I thought like that. We really do gotta stay determined to get what we go for whatever it'll take.
> If it does mean playing dirty tho......I think thats the happy medium....like the diff between saay what ya described and when it acctually starts causing real harm to others. I wouldn't do it at the cost of loosing who I was, likee sadly a lotta people did....



Indeed. I think for a lot of us, playing dirty would cause us to lose ourselves. Only in extreme circumstances would it feel justified. I say this because of something my uncle told me, when talking about how he had to lay off a group of people in order to keep his own job: 

_"I had children, your cousins, to take care of, and they were just kids at the time. The people under me did not. I was living paycheck to paycheck, taking care of my kids' medical problems, and couldn't afford to lose my job. So I never said to myself, "It's them or me," in relation to my co-workers. I said to myself, either they're without jobs, or I can't support my children. It wasn't a tough call.""_ <---- All I could really say was , OH.  

But that's definitely the exception to the rule, and it only applies, here, to a guy who already HAD a job. And obviously he'd had it for a while, being the assistant manager of his department with several people "under" him. I can't imagine stepping on others on the road to success. 

An ex of mine is the VP of Coach, the handbag people, previously of Victoria's Secret. She stepped on any number of people on the way up the food chain, and I can't imagine what it's like to be her. In fact, I asked one day. She said she does charity work to help herself cope with the guilt. Oh, and she shops (lol). I said, that's ironic, given that you made your spending money at others' expense! 

But I digress...

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## Chantellabella

I've seen people take jobs in an interim and I've done the same at times. Sometimes you need to take what's offered immediately and then if the job you really want comes up, just be very apologetic and give that job as much notice as possible.  I really don't see it as underhanded or anything. I see it as paying the bills. It does help though to be as kind as you can be to the job you're leaving because you don't want to burn any bridges. I think execs understand competition and also understand an employee's need to be happy in a workplace.

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