# Struggles and Support > Frustration and Struggles >  >  I am a terrible person

## WintersTale

I am suicidal tonight, for the first time in years.

I posted something that was inappropriate and kind of offensive on the other forum. I wish I hadn't posted it, because it was taken the wrong way, and everyone started trolling and attacking me. I was called every name in the book. I feel so down, I can barely lift my head up.

I know I am not attractive to women my age. I know that. I never said that I wanted to date someone who was a teenager, like others said I said. I am not a pedophile. All I said was that I could understand why someone would find a 17 year old attractive...that's miles from me stating that I would get involved in an underage relationship. And I phrased it badly.

I unfriended a bunch of people from the other forum on Facebook, and I may request a permanent ban here as well. I would request it at the other forum, but I don't think the new mods would grant it. They certainly weren't ready to help me when everyone started attacking me.

I am in tears tonight. I am too old to be a virgin. I probably need to die.

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## CityofAngels

Hang in there tale. Remember spending time on forums is just a small part of recovering from this and don't take it too seriously. It sucks that your being attacked and I know how the girls at SAS can swarm on to a guy. Just keep everything in perspective and remember internet forums in the grand scheme of things aren't that important.

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## WintersTale

I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm drowning.

I also feel like Parakeet hates me, because of something I wrote. I deleted her from Facebook because of that. And I don't know if she does hate me. 

I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I feel pathetic enough as it is. I just feel like I need someone *in real life* that will help pull me up. I don't need another therapist. I need a friend.

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## WineKitty

You are not a terrible person and don't take the other forum that seriously..esp right now.  The posting is out of control and wild --with no moderation (or very little) the place has quickly sunk into complete chaos.  At least they banned that troll Colder.  

Parakeet is a sweet person and while I dont know what was said, I am sure if you talk to her you can iron out whatever happened.

Hang in there--dont let something like this get you so down.

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## WintersTale

What I said was in a deleted message on the forum, I thought she would feel embarrassed. I didn't say it directly to her, and it was a compliment, but I thought she would feel singled out.

Ugh. I can't believe what that forum turned into. I just read two posts by obvious spammers. I actually just sold 6 Justin Bieber tickets, because my sister's daughters couldn't go...I don't need to buy them! Don't even like the dude.

One of my friends from SAS talked to me via PM, and made me feel better. I no longer feel suicidal. 

I just hope Parakeet  is not mad at me, because I'd like to stick around this forum, if possible. And add her back to my Facebook friends list.

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## Sparrow

WintersTale - Please dont let those few people get to you.  There are MANY more people who like you...by far.  You are a very nice guy...don't beat yourself up over this.  I don't know how many times I've said stuff that was misinterpreted...bc I suck at expressing myself correctly.  It happens, you know?  Glad a friend was able to make you feel better  ::): .

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## WintersTale

Thanks guys.

I feel a lot better today. I got lots of sleep, and I feel well rested and happier. I think part of the reason I had that breakdown was because I was so exhausted.

I'm going to take the other forum with a grain of salt. As I posted, I don't feel that the trolls are being weeded out enough to make anybody feel safe there, so I'm going to be cautious with what I post. It's a shame, but I think it might be the end for that forum.

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## CityofAngels

Next time don't be foolish enough to think parakeet would ever be mean to someone. That was your biggest mistake in the whole thing.

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## takethebiscuit

Glad you're feeling better about things. 

You always impressed me with your posts, your care for other people, your compassion for your family members and fellow anxiety sufferers and your developing talents and skills in music. 

I hope you can Join  myself and the other members of this forum in realising that you're an important, worthwhile, respected, good person with a lot to offer to the world and others. Take some time to think of the compliments you have received and write down the qualities you have. This will help you get in touch more with why you matter as a person.

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## Ironman

Yeah, Parakeet doesn't go around hating people like that.  
That "forum" is not worth getting worked up over.  It's a mess.

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## Chantellabella

I'm glad you feel better. And I know you're not a terrible person.  I think a lot of what's going on over at SAS is a case of rabies or something because when I look over there, people are foaming at the mouth. So yeah, take what they say with a grain of salt.  

I've read your posts over there and you really sound like a nice person. I'm glad you got some rest.

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## Denise

Hi WintersTale

First of all, I do not think you're unattractive. 

Regarding the replies you got at SAS > You need to keep in mind that a lot of people in there have a lack of interpersonal skills along with depression and.. of course.. anxiety. All conflict stems from dissatisfaction.

Not saying that SA people are bad, of course. This just.. happens

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## Parthenia

You are very much admired by me Winters Tail.  I'm glad that you are feeling better!

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## jsgt

Winter....if you ever start to feel that way again, do yourself a favor and sleep on it! You'll wake up with a different perspective. I can understand how you felt, because when so many things come crashing down at once, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and want to give up.  The thing is, those feelings won't last forever....so keep that in mind next time you get into a bad place. You will work through it, and you will overcome. You have the strength to do so, you just need to find it. Good luck man, and glad to see that you're in better spirits.

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## KramersHalfSister

I know I'm late on this but I really hope you show up here just to say you're okay. As others have already said, you shouldn't let anything that's said on *** get to you and keep you down. That place is overrun with bitterness and trolls now. Please feel better and check in to let everyone know you're alright  :Hug:

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## T-Bone

I think there comes a point when you can feel so guilty about something that it can distort reality a bit. I remember that comment you made but i certainly didn't see anyone calling you any names or anything that should have been perceived as such, unless they private messaged you with it. Perhaps you were just beating _yourself_  up over it? Either way, do you think the comment was really all that controversial? I think it'll be alright man.  ::):

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## IllusionOfHappiness

> Take some time to think of the compliments you have received and write down the qualities you have. This will help you get in touch more with why you matter as a person.



I like this idea.  ::): 

Winterstale, as everyone else stated, that forum is a total mess so I wouldn't take it very seriously. It's good to know a friend lifted your spirits - I bet they care an awful lot about you. And so do the members of this forum. I would hardly say you are a horrible person. I've never thought of you as anything even remotely close to that. I know this is a late post, but I hope you're still feeling better!

 :Hug:

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