# Healing and Wellbeing > Study, Work and Welfare >  >  Making Friends at School/Work

## Dreamer

I have never made a friend at school, work or summer camp, except for  one brief time in kindergarden. Is this unique to me, or has anyone else  not made a friend in that setting? 

I do mean friend in the  loosest sense of the term: someone you would talk to or meet up with  regularly. I have never experienced that, with someone I met at school  or work. Seems like a very unfortunate thing, since that is where I  spend most of my time.

Sometimes I wonder if I have to be trapped on a desert island with someone for me to develop a friendship with another person.

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## One Step At A Time

I have large times in my life where I have not made a friend at school  or work, but I have seemed to at some point make friends.  The biggest  problem I have had is finding more friends once the friends I have made  moved away. 

In more than one instance I have made a good friend  but then they moved away.  After that it seems like i was not able to  find another good friend at that job or school(when it happened in  college.  I am not sure why that is really.  Possibbly I have not let  myself be open to new people after I made those friends and left.  I may  have convinced myself that there were no other people that i could be  friends with.  Also at my age most other people my age are married and  have kids so it is harder to find people that have time to hang out at  work.  I have made a loose friend at work since my really good friend at  work left, but he is married so I only very rarely do things with him.

Thinking  about it at work I tend to stay at my cubicle and don't eat in the  break room a lot.  Thats's soemthing I am trying to change so I run into  more co-workers that I can talk too.  

At some periods in my  life I have almost felt trapped on a desert island because I was without  friends and just went home everyday without anybody to really talk too.   Sorry to hear that you have this issue.  I know how that feels.

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## Stranger

I don't imagine you're all that alone among people here.

I've  never found friendmaking easy since being a small kid, and I think that  was mostly because I was in a school with small classes, and we were  kind of forced to spend time with each other every day. I was definitely  much worse at it in high school (larger), and once out in university,  the friends I had quickly drifted away.

These days I don't have  friends in the way you describe with the exception of my girlfriend.  Even though I get on pretty well with people at work, it never seems to  leave work. I don't bemoan it much, though, since I tend to enjoy the  time I spend by myself (or with my girl) more anyway.

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## FiestyAnxiety

I never have made a friend at work to hang out with either.
It is all  just the wrong types. Usually mostly males so that isn't a possibility.  younger women either are into the party scene or baby scene. Older  women have their husbands and kids to run places. No time for friends  these days for many people.

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## merc

Friendships take time and that is one thing we kind of lack, especially once you get older. I've never made a good hang out after work type of friend. At work I have a few friends, but it is strictly at work. I've never had time to do things with them. I'm busy cooking dinner, cleaning, I have three kids and there never is enough time. That's why I think experts suggest joint groups with similar interests. I have never done this, but have given it some thought. I have some friends with other Moms with children, however some of these friends the only thing we have in common are our children.
I also live in the countryside and sometimes you have to deal with "what you get." For instance I'm friendly with one or two people I'm not crazy about. They are nice ok people but will never be close confidants. I am also extremely shy and reserved which doesn't make it easy. I also get tired and need a lot of alone down time where I can really be alone. Friendships can be stressful and demanding, I know aren't they supposed to be supportive and fun. I miss having a real good friend, one I can laugh and have fun with. It's been a very long time since I've had that.

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## VickieKitties

Sometimes the weirdos I work with want to go to the bar after work, but I'm sick of them after spending all week in their company.  I don't want friends from my job, maybe school would be different.

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## Misssy

When I have friends it is because they started the friendship. I never start friendships because I am not good at it. Also when people do start friendships with me there is a reason why they do it...and the friendships don't last.

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