# Anxiety Disorders > Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) >  >  How can I help someone with OCD?

## Nara

Someone really close to me has OCD but they're not really eager to talk about it and when the subject comes up, they get all awkward and stuff. How can I help them feel comfortable around me and other people? I've noticed they're trying to hide their rituals and they are obviously really ashamed of it. I have tried to tell them that I understand what OCD is and it's okay and they shouldn't have to worry about me getting bothered by it, but they don't seem to believe me all that much. Advice?

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## ruru

Hm... I don't know the person, but I have OCD and remember back when I first asked for help, my family wasn't all that accepting. They would criticize me for doing rituals and told me to my face that they didn't believe it was real and that I was doing it for attention (after hiding it for so long?? uh huh, sure.) Anyway, speaking from experience, what you've told them is definitely nice to hear, but it's common for people with OCD to feel like no one understands even if they say they do. For example, my roommate has a very different and much more mild form of OCD (she just likes to clean and organize things when she's stressed), so when I try to talk about my OCD she gets this blank look on her face that makes me feel very awkward and like I guess I just can't talk to her about it, even if we share the same diagnosis.

Anyway, my advice would be to tell them (at an opportune time) that if they ever want to talk to you about their symptoms, or try to explain what they're going through, you're comfortable with it and would be happy to lend an ear. It's also nice sometimes just to hear someone acknowledge that they don't know what it's like, but they're aware that it sucks and can be very alienating. It might take time for them to learn to trust another person with something that disturbing and difficult, even if you are close. There are some things about my OCD that I haven't even shared with my therapist, it's so personal.

For most people, it's important to hide symptoms from others because it makes them feel so self-conscious to have people staring at them or wondering what's going on during rituals. Sometimes, the best way to get someone to open up is to simply let them know you're there and willing to hear about it or help if they need you to, but otherwise don't force it or they'll just close up even more. I can't say for sure what would work with this particular person, but that's my advice. Just be patient, be an active listener, sincere, and a good companion, and someday they'll probably open up to you on their own time. If not, you've done your best, and at least made them feel supported.

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