# Healing and Wellbeing > Spirituality, Religion and Faith >  >  When people ask "Do you believe in God?" I'm never sure what to tell them

## toaster little

Sometimes I'm not sure what I believe.  I feel like too many people assume one set of beliefs if you say you believe in God, and assume another set of beliefs if you say you don't believe in a God.

Would they assume that my answer is "no" if I say anything other than "Yes" or "Of course"?

I've never said "no" as my only answer when someone asked me.  Sometimes online I've done it, but that doesn't always mean anything.

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## Heelsbythebridge

Do you believe in god? 

I'm a flat out atheist and will say so- there's really little to assume about. No one's ever judged or shamed me for it, except my family.

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## Kirsebaer

> Do you believe in god? 
> 
> *I'm a flat out atheist and will say so*- there's really little to assume about. No one's ever judged or shamed me for it, except my family.



^this.
Although here in Brazil, people do judge me for that.

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## Koalafan

All of my friends know I'm an athiest. However, my family still thinks I'm a christian (grew up in a relatively conservative household) and while I don't think they would disown me if I told them my religious beliefs I know in the back of their minds they would be incredibly "disappointed" =/. Even to this day they pick me to do the "prayer" before we eat dinner sometimes and it just gets incredibly awkward and tense.

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## Heelsbythebridge

> ^this.
> Although here in Brazil, people do judge me for that.



There's a pretty good mix of religions here, but the younger cohorts tend to be atheist. I think we were brought up believing in science and evidence rather than faith and conjecture. But as long as there's respect, I think it's beneficial for a secular society like British Columbia (where I live) to have religious activities, places, events... Helps create a more vibrant social fabric. I enjoy going to churches, temples, and cathedrals even though I'm not part of their faith  ::):  No one's kicked me out.

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## Otherside

No...and sometimes I wish I could. But I can't, and I can never find a reason why to in all the arguments I have. 

That, and the whole "Believe in me or go to hell" has the opposite effect. I'm less likely to believe in a supposedly kind and loving god who would send people to hell for doing good deeds...yet not believing.

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## toaster little

> No...and sometimes I wish I could. But I can't, and I can never find a reason why to in all the arguments I have. 
> 
> That, and the whole "Believe in me or go to hell" has the opposite effect. I'm less likely to believe in a supposedly kind and loving god who would send people to hell for doing good deeds...yet not believing.



Yeah.  It's a little extreme.  

Also there's ignoring everything that seems to go against what is written in the Bible.  I've heard people say it's supposed to be used for guidance, and they won't take everything literally if it causes harm or makes a person do something illegal.  But you always see stories where people did something clearly illegal just because it was preached to them.

So far I haven't said "yes" or "no" to anyone IRL so I haven't had people judge me too much.  Most people don't like to talk about it too much unless you've made it clear to them.

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## Chantellabella

When people ask me IRL if I believe in God, I tell them, "It's really something personal." The reason why I won't get into it with people outside of this forum is because I agree that people form an opinion of you based on your answer. I've been persecuted for not believing in God, persecuted for believing in God and persecuted for believing in the "wrong" God. 

The common denominator is people. 

People can be so ignorant. They put their beliefs on others. They put their values on others. And they expect the world to march to their drums. I don't blame God, nor a religion. I blame people. 

I wish people would live and let live. 

I guess that's too much to ask.

I am curious about how others believe. But I make damned sure not to judge them. Uniqueness is underrated.

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## Chantellabella

*bump*

Where'd the bump smiley go?

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## Kesky

I beleive in something swirling around but I'm not comfortable calling it God. I think we're to dumb to have made this all up.

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## Keddy

I was raised Irish Catholic and I somewhat, loosely, identify with my parents' faith, although I am by no means a "religious" person. I do find myself questioning many Catholic beliefs quite often, especially since I'm gay. I am not entirely sold on the idea that there is a "higher power." Yet I do (rarely) pray but only when I feel as though it's a last resort. I'm still open to the ideas of Atheism and Agnosticism, it's just such a huge deal here in Boston that if you're Irish Catholic you stick to your faith. I get a lot of crap from other people for saying I'm skeptical about Catholicism. 
It's also irritating that my parents have placed a cross above every doorway in our house (not joking...) and that they insist that we pray before meals. I've been told to go to Confession a few times as well. When I was younger I had to go to church every Sunday but now I'm only forced to on major holidays.
I believe more in Karma and positive/negative energy than anything else but I'm not looking to be part of any particular religion.
IRL, if someone asks me, I'm Catholic, but on here I'm a little more comfortable discussing my beliefs openly.
Hope all that made sense.
Keddy

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## L

I have never been asked this question - here in Ireland everyone assumes you do unless you bring it up first. It is a Catholic state but personally I don't know what I believe in but I think the Catholic church is all about control and I do not believe in controls

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## merc

I just say yes. I have had some odd things occur to me personally.  

Now, do I believe in religion. No religion is/was created by man as a means of expressing believe in something greater than himself. Whoever controls the faith wields great power. Do you completely trust the religious leaders of today?

Religion's ideals are great. I know a whole lot of history that many people are ignorant of. I went to a Passover/last supper meal based on how the last supper was probably celebrated. It was so totally cool to do that. It made for a very long 3 hour meal, but I now understand what Passover is all about. I take my kids to church. They are in CCD. They have celebrated the sacraments. My daughter participates in 3 different church's youth groups. She is probably more aware of differences and similarities of religion than I am. She has done more volunteer work for people than I ever have.

Keddy, as for confession, I think most of the faithful see right through the church's ploy to control people and find out secrets. Watch the Brogia, the one with John Dolan, what a dark , violent and interesting person Rodrigo Borgia was. I don't want to go back in time and live in 1492.

I also find that young people are quite taken with proudly stating that they are atheist. A young co-worker makes fun of me for being Catholic and my daughter's youth group activities. She is really not religious because she hasn't been brought up in any faith.  I talk to God everyday. I don't know if he listens but I don't shut up not one little bit. If you are an atheist who are you talking to in your head or out loud? Maybe it's a little bit crazy to be this way? It has helped me cope with anxiety, I know it has because when I've been a bit rude or off from anxiety reasons I will apologize if I friendly with someone. It has made me push forward and through some difficult things.

Chantabella, I understand that people cling to odd /strange ways of condemning people based on religious beliefs. My neighbor believes that Obama is the start of end times because he supports gay marriage. I went to my friends bible study and two rumored to be lesbians told me the world would end in the year 2000. A friend of my husband insists that earth is i forget something like 3,000 years old. Dinosaurs didn't exist. I think the Duggars on tv. have this belief. I myself saw a UFO. I could have thrown a rock at it and hit it. It was terrifying. I prayed to every saint and dead relative I could think of to help us. It came down low and seemed like it took a photo of us and than lifted off.

There is so much more to this world than most people realize. Some people believe that we are recycled around like the water on this planet. Some people say we are transcendent beings. Our current human form is likened to a caterpillar, a fat ugly slug that just consumes everything. When we die we take a spiritual form like a beautiful butterfly. Some say we are a part of the universe, the universe is in the process of learning all it can. It has given us a conscious/ spark of life, a piece of the universe, that retains all of our experiences good and bad when we die we become part of the whole universe again.

i also had a friend who died during an operation, he claims he separated from his body saw the operation and when he died there was absolutely nothing. In short I don't have the answers for myself let alone anyone else.

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## Total Eclipse

> Do you believe in god? 
> 
> I'm a flat out atheist and will say so- there's really little to assume about. No one's ever judged or shamed me for it, except my family.



I've actually have found saying I'm an atheist more comfortable than telling people I'm Wiccan. I use it as my "default" as explaining, because most people think it's witches, witchcraft, and devil worshiping (which is far from that).

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## Inscrutable Banana

I say I don't know because as an agnostic I feel I can neither prove nor disprove the existence of god and I don't think anyone really can regardless of what they believe and no matter how hard they tryâit's really just a personal leap of faith sort of thing. I can say that if I do ever come to believe that some sort of god definitely exists, that my beliefs won't be bound to those of a major religion and will be my own interpretation. I'm not inclined to believe that god is a definable entity that wants you to live your life as rigidly as the major religions preach that it does. I don't like the concept of original sin and I don't feel like a benevolent creator would want you to go through your life feeling guilty just for being born, nor do I think god would really want people to engage in the various traditions and rituals that have developed around repentance, some of which are rather barbaric and others which are more subtle in the harm that they do to humanity through fear (the idea of hell and a vengeful god happens to be quite an effective way to control people), guilt, and repression. That's not to say that the major religions don't present good ideals, as they certainly do, but as is often the case with humans acting en masse things tend to get twisted somewhere along the line and turn into something entirely different from what was originally intended.

Personally, I'd probably view god as more of an abstract concept, something vague and intangible that holds the universe togetherâa cosmic background energy of sorts. An omnipresent force in the universe that cannot be understood and doesn't necessarily need to beâit's kind of just there, deeply rooted in everything and if it were to have some sort of consciousness to it, it would be far too "evolved" to require us to try and appease it.





> ^this.
> Although here in Brazil, people do judge me for that.



Well, you _do_ live in a country known for having a giant Jesus statue. :b

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## jsgt

You could just say that you're "spiritual" and leave it at that. You should never feel like you have to explain your beliefs to anyone.

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## merc

You could just say that you're "spiritual" and leave it at that. You should never feel like you have to explain your beliefs to anyone.


This is a great answer!

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## TheCARS1979

Im  spiritual /agnostic

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## luvcuddling2

I am a liberal Catholic with intimate interests that aren't mainstream. I would not recommend talking about this at any Church function, unless you like getting kicked out. Apparently I like getting kicked out. . .

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## Keddy

Since my parents disowned me, I've found myself turning to religion more as a way of coping. I'm not *overly* religious, but yeah, I guess I do believe in God. I have to have faith in something, if not humanity (I have no faith in the human race) right?
And recently, I do feel like, more often than not, my prayers have been answered.
But I'm definitely not one to preach or to push my religion on anybody. Especially since I'm gay and I'm "going to hell" according to my parents.
I identify as Catholic.

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## nothing

No one ever asks me because I don't talk to many people, but if they did I'd tell them the truth; I have no idea. I've heard so many contradictory tales and not a single one of them resonates with me. I don't feel God's presence and I think there must be SOMETHING, but whatever it is, it's not helping us in any way, shape, or form. God feels a bit like a deadbeat dad to me, if he really exists as our 'father' as the Christianity I've been indoctrinated into my whole life and don't believe is true.

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## Chloe

i've not been asked in a while however since i went to a catholic high school i had a lot of knowledge and time to contemplate my standing on the matter. i personally do not believe in god. i like some of his teachings and rules and think they are a good way to live your life treating one and other with respect, listening to your elders etc just ways of being a decent human being. i am comforted by the idea of heaven and hell that good people are rewarded for being decent kind people and doing good with their lives and that bad people who have done nothing to help anyone and are just nasty horrible spiteful people suffer for the misdeeds that they've done with their lives. but this may just be something i'm using as a comforting thought but in short i don't believe in god. because i had these justifications for it which were solidified and backed up by my firm belief in scientific explanations and my own personal belief i never had much questioning or berating on the matter thankfully

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## Chloe

It may not be an offensive gesture someone could simply be trying to learn more about you. My answer to religion says I have a strong set of morals. I'm unsure about the afterlife but I'm comforted by being told oh this is what happens at least I think that's what it says about me. To others it could be a way of guiding their lives whereas other may just be continuing what their family installed in them. It is an intrusive question probably on a similar lines to are you conservative or democrats (think those are powers in your state)

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## Monowheat

I haven't been asked this question in a long time but I do remember the last occasion vividly. It went like this:

Me: *Rushing through the stockroom at my old workplace to get something for a waiting customer.*
Random colleague: *stood around chatting instead of working* "[name] Are you religious?" *as I rush past*
Me: "No. I'm a scientist. A Darwinian, I guess." *dont stop walking*
Colleague: "Oh..." *disappointed* "That's a shame."

That's a _shame_?!? I didn't really have time to react when it happened since I was busy, had been caught of guard and would have been too anxious to say what I really thought. I was offended by her response and the memory really sticks with me for some reason.

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## Chantellabella

> I haven't been asked this question in a long time but I do remember the last occasion vividly. It went like this:
> 
> Me: *Rushing through the stockroom at my old workplace to get something for a waiting customer.*
> Random colleague: *stood around chatting instead of working* "[name] Are you religious?" *as I rush past*
> Me: "No. I'm a scientist. A Darwinian, I guess." *dont stop walking*
> Colleague: "Oh..." *disappointed* "That's a shame."
> 
> That's a _shame_?!? I didn't really have time to react when it happened since I was busy, had been caught of guard and would have been too anxious to say what I really thought. I was offended by her response and the memory really sticks with me for some reason.



It sounds like you came across a phenomena that has perplexed me also over the years. I have seen myself as someone who believes in a higher power (God) and I feel I have a strong connection and spiritual relationship with him. It's a personal connection that doesn't involve anyone else but me. The only time I even tell people anything about my belief is when they ask me directly. Or I will just state that I feel I was blessed. 

Over the years, I have come across people just like you describe. They have not only gained a spiritual relationship with their God, but many have joined a church fellowship to discuss their belief in God. I understand why they begin to feel both powerful with the backing of God, as well as find the need to spread this information to others. They feel safe in God's hands and they want to spread this comfort to others. I get that part because I have had many blessings from God over the years.

But somewhere in that, I think some of these people forget how they felt when they didn't belong to a church or have any belief in a higher power. They put more weight in the word *religious* which means, "relating to or believing in a *religion*" than in the real question they are asking which is spiritual, "Do you have a relationship with God?"

Belonging to a church or religion does not necessarily mean you believe or don't believe in God. Take my ex-husband for instance. He was baptized recently into a religion. Just two days ago he was trying to get my daughter to hate me and was upset that I was happy in my life. That's not a man who has a relationship with God because if he did, he would not do that. But he belongs to that church.

We don't know if people believe in God even if they belong to a church. I'm sure half the people there on Sunday are thinking evil thoughts about their neighbor during the sermon. 

Ok. I know I'm getting confusing here.

Let me rephrase all this. 

I believe in God.
I tend to not believe in religion because religion has people involved in it. 
I like religion sometimes when I want to talk to people about my beliefs. I occasionally join a church.

So.............

When a person asks "Are you religious," maybe you could ask them, "Are you asking if I go to church or are you asking if I believe in a higher power?" If they say "go to church," do like I do. I answer, "Nope. Churches would be great if people weren't there." If they say "I'm asking if you believe in God," then tell them, "Sorry, that's a personal question that I don't feel comfortable answering." Besides, legally they can't ask that at work. Look it up.......it's in your hiring packet. 

Oh and one other thing. When that person said, "That's a shame." You could have said, "Wow! I think God would cry to see you shaming one of his children." That will shut her right up.  ::):  *evil grin*

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