# Struggles and Support > Frustration and Struggles >  >  I need hugs :-(

## Chantellabella

Big time.

God, I so need hugs.

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## Member11

:Hug:

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## Chantellabella

> 



Thank you.  :Hug: 

I feel like I'm just screwing everything up. The last two weeks have been hell. For every one step I take, I take 3 steps back. I know I'm over reacting. It's just that when people at work are making you crazy, people inside are making you crazy, things at home making you crazy, family making you crazy.................well, I can safely say I am crazy now. Before I was just a little crazy. Now I'm terminal. 

So thank you. I've been feeling like it's me against the world. And me against me. Ever just feel like you want to feed small children to large dogs?

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## Chantellabella

Forget it.

This life sucks.

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## Coffee

:Hug:   Be kind to yourself x

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## Koalafan

Cindy!!  ::(: 

 :Hug:   :Hug:   :Hug:   :Hug:   :koala:

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## Antidote

Only saw this now. Life does suck. I hope you can pick yourself up. 

 :Hug:

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## Ironman

> Thank you. 
> 
> I feel like I'm just screwing everything up. The last two weeks have been hell. For every one step I take, I take 3 steps back. I know I'm over reacting. It's just that when people at work are making you crazy, people inside are making you crazy, things at home making you crazy, family making you crazy.................well, I can safely say I am crazy now. Before I was just a little crazy. Now I'm terminal. 
> 
> So thank you. I've been feeling like it's me against the world. And me against me. Ever just feel like you want to feed small children to large dogs?



At least you are catching it.  Don't let their issues become your emergencies.

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## kc1895

It sounds like you're very overwhelmed at the moment.  Please take it easy.  One at a time, it will be ok.  :Hug:

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## Otherside

:Hug:  :Hug:  :Hug: 

Take it one day at a time, Cindy. Life will get better, even if it doesn't seem that way just now. You've been a good friend to me.

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## Chantellabella

Thanks guys for the hugs and for listening. I'm very overwhelmed. 

I've never been at such a low point. I guess my past, present and hope have just crashed together. I feel like I"m not even speaking sense anymore. You'd never believe I was this falling apart if you saw me in real life. I've "on paper" had the best summer ever. Best teen volunteer staff. Best programs. Best situations. Best co-worker relationships. Best. Best. Best.

At home, I'm doing ok. Getting work done. Dealing with things as they come up. Doing this with friends and family.  Things are going fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. 

I'm communicating with my alters more than I ever have. Getting things resolved. Handling things. Doing well. Well. Well. Well.

On paper, everything is fine. 

So why do I want to smash this entire planet and everything in it, over it, under it and around it? Why am I feeling like my heart is crushed? Why can't I fix this? I've always been able to fix it. Always. I'm like coping person of the year. I throw out more "whatevers" than anybody I know. I deal with it. 

So why am I not dealing with it? Why am I not getting all my ducks in a row like I always do? Why am I not striving to be "human being of the year" like I always do?

You know, when one part was losing it, the others would take over. There was always one part who could fix it. 

I'm not even sure I remember how to cry. 

So thanks guys for the hugs. I really mean it. I really need them. I wish you guys all lived down the street. I really do.

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## Chantellabella

And I know I've not been a good friend to any of you lately. I'm sorry.

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## Tinkerbell

Cat hugs, the best there are.  Hang in there.

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## Total Eclipse

(((Cindy)))  :Hug:

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## Sagan

:Hug:

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## merc

I hope that you start feeling better about things soon. Maybe you're just trying to do too much and getting burned out. Take an hour for yourself a day: sleep, stare into space,  a long walk,  whatever....Donna

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## merc

This has been a long hot humid summer and yes I've felt like feeding my children to large dogs. I love them but if I hear I'm bored one more time...

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## Chantellabella

Guys, thank you so much for listening and giving those hugs freely. I was reading what you guys wrote and a pm from Coffee that made me realize that this is just a bump in the road. In fact, it spurred me to finish editing that booktalk I started. My old sick humor was back and I realized that I'm still alive and kicking.

In fact, when I sent Coffee a copy of the link, I said in the email "When the going gets tough, the tough get creative." You guys inspire me to get out of my slumps. You really do. We're all in this together, huh? 

So  :group hug:  to all of you.

Thank, my friends,

Cindy

p.s. I'm going to upload the new video in the video of yourself thread. And those who saw the first one, don't worry, I almost completely trashed that first version, so this one isn't so bad.

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## Chantellabella

> This has been a long hot humid summer and yes I've felt like feeding my children to large dogs. I love them but if I hear I'm bored one more time...



Bring them to your library. That's where the rest of the planet's kids are these days. I know. I have them.  ::):

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## Still Waters

Go to a good movie -munch some junk food in the darkness and forget everything for a bit!

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## Chantellabella

> Go to a good movie -munch some junk food in the darkness and forget everything for a bit!



You're right. I do need to do something good for me today. It's actually raining today! Yes, raining in Texas. I'm waiting for the locust and frog plague to come next.

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## Chantellabella

> -hugs tightly-
> 
> Yeah, it's been raining here all day in Dallas. I think I have a headache from the weather yikes.



But at least our poor grass and gardens have rain. Since we can only water once a week, my lawn has been kind of iffy. The upside though is I haven't had to cut my grass in 3 weeks. After this week, it will need lots of cutting. 

Thanks for the hug.  :Hug:

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## Trendsetter

I apologize for being so late, but here you go.  :Hug:

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## WintersTale

I'm sorry, and big hugs to you  ::):

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## AclockworkCranberry

Hugs given  :Hug:

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