# Struggles and Support > Frustration and Struggles >  >  Going out and having fun alone?

## Nelly

Does anyone here ever go out alone? I have no one to go out with and I feel weird being alone in public places since everyone else seems to have a group of friends. I really hate shopping alone and hope no one pays attention to me. I never go to the movies because I dont want to be the only one watching the movie alone. Who else feels like this??

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## Nelly

I never thoguht of listening to music while shopping. I'll take that into consideration.

Where is a good place to locate support groups? I'm clueless as to that.

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## CityofAngels

> I never thoguht of listening to music while shopping. I'll take that into consideration.
> 
> Where is a good place to locate support groups? I'm clueless as to that.



You don't need to listen. As long as you have headphones on it gives you an excuse to not socialize. Perfect for ppl like us.

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## brighter

I listen to music when I'm shopping, too. Sometimes I get overwhelmed if I don't. I do enjoy shopping alone as long as I'm in a larger store, where I can feel fairly anonymous. I don't like visiting small shops by myself if I haven't been in them before. 

I go to concerts by myself occasionally if I really want to see the show, though I have a lot of anticipatory anxiety and often feel strange once I'm there. I like going to the park and the beach by myself, but I do get the sense sometimes that I'm a hopeless, friendless oddball.

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## ThatOneQuietGuy

> I never thoguht of listening to music while shopping. I'll take that into consideration.
> 
> Where is a good place to locate support groups? I'm clueless as to that.



There are a lot of meetup groups for people with social anxiety here :  http://www.meetup.com/
I've been to one and it's pretty low stress. It's also a great place to make new friends if you don't have a lot of other options.

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## Sagan

I try to do a lot of outdoor activities like hiking and exploring back roads in the area. I'm always by myself though. I did go into a bar once but turned around and went right back out. I used to go out on very rare occasions. But I always had a friend with me to take the focus off of me. But now I have no one to go with.

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## Anteros

I often shop alone.  I've done it for so long, it doesn't even bother me.  In fact, I kind of prefer it because I can take my time.

As for the movie thing - I used to go alone, usually to matinees.    But as I've aged, I've become a lot more... erm, frugal.  I prefer to wait for the DVD.

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## Chantellabella

I do things alone like hiking, going to gardens and museums and going to a movie. I've found that my companion when I'm alone is my camera. I try to focus on what I'm going to see and I block out all the people. I can be found every other week, chasing a squirrel through the Arboretum as I try getting the perfect shot. I also like going to movies alone because the time before the movies is a good time to think. I think I've just learned to block out others and not even see them. I focus more on beauty around me.

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## Koalafan

I actually prefer doing quite a number things alone. I can just take my time and not feel pressured to do anything I dont wanna do  ::):

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## Matty

I do lots alone. Let it empower you not stop you.

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## L

I don't mind going shopping alone, more anxious when with people and more  so  when clothes shopping. I really want to attempt going to a.concert alone as no one really shares my music taste.

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## Chantellabella

> I actually prefer doing quite a number things alone. I can just take my time and not feel pressured to do anything I dont wanna do



I feel the same way. I don't have to ask for anyone else's input about where or when. I just go.

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## Parthenia

^ same here. I love to be by myself. Red Lobster is my favorite place to eat alone. I see people eating by themselves all the time anywhere I go.

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## cmed

I've gone to movies alone once or twice. It's one of the easier things to do alone I think. Just walk in there like you own the place and sit down. Don't even give yourself time to think about it and build up fear. 

I've also gone out to eat alone, but only if it's a very casual buffet. I wouldn't sit in a formal restaurant and be served alone though.

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## Ironman

> I've gone to movies alone once or twice. It's one of the easier things to do alone I think. Just walk in there like you own the place and sit down. Don't even give yourself time to think about it and build up fear. 
> 
> I've also gone out to eat alone, but only if it's a very casual buffet. I wouldn't sit in a formal restaurant and be served alone though.



Yep - I just went to my Chinese buffet tonight.  It's an every other week occurrence.  I got a 2013 calendar from them tonight!  They know me pretty well now - they just don't know my name :ROFL:.

Tip well, guys.  ::):

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## colleen

I go to the movies and go shopping alone. I also go to the park (with the dog alone.) I have an online SA friend who goes to big concerts alone... I would now consider doing that after hearing about his experience.

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## CaduceusGUILT

I tend to do my shopping alone. I'm thinking of going to the movies alone this Tuesday since I really wanna see Skyfall but I have no one to go with.  ::):

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## colleen

> I tend to do my shopping alone. I'm thinking of going to the movies alone this Tuesday since I really wanna see Skyfall but I have no one to go with.



Going to the movies alone is quite nice, actually. I found it to be more enjoyable alone than in a group. It's relaxing.

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## CaduceusGUILT

> Going to the movies alone is quite nice, actually. I found it to be more enjoyable alone than in a group. It's relaxing.



Haha! I forgot that I promised to do this! Well, guess I have no choice now!

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## colleen

> Haha! I forgot that I promised to do this! Well, guess I have no choice now!



I look forward to reading about your experience.

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## Chieve

i go out alone a lot. its fine, try to do something you enjoy.

its not unnormal to be alone at a movie theater or something, people do it all the time

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## Cam

I do. I like to go out and walk around downtown Portland (Maine)... got one more stroll around the city in on Veterans day before winter.

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## sanspants

I do, but mostly during the daytime to zone out and "window shop" at various big shopping areas. At night I might go to the biggest bookstore I can find, especially if it's open late. It's nice to be around other soitary bookworms  ::):  When I'm in a city where the stores are open 24 hours I'm a happy guy. Sometimes I'll show up tipsy...

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## SmileyFace

A lot of times, I enjoy going out alone. A lot of my friends have very different interests that I'm not into, or we do but our schedules never work out.. so I just go places alone. Sometimes it is a bit depressing though... but much of the time, I have the time of my life. I like doing photography as well, so I'm able to do that at places without people having to wait on me and whatnot.

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## KramersHalfSister

I don't have a problem shopping alone. Matter of fact, I like it because I can just focus on what I need to get and leave a lot faster. I'm terrified to go alone to common social places like the movies, concerts, and bars though. I give props to anyone with SA that is brave enough to do that. Sometimes when I go to dinner with my family I'll see someone sitting by themselves and it makes me want to go sit with them. I often wonder if that's how I would be seen if I went out alone. I want to try to go to the movies alone though because there are a LOT of movies that I've missed out on just because I'm afraid of how other people will perceive me.

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## orange

Try to go to the movies by yourself KramersHalfSister, I used to feel the same way you do but like you said there were a lot of movies I would have missed out on as well.  I am afraid of how other people will perceive me as well but I don't want to miss out on life because of my SA and I have missed out on so much because of my fear of socializing.  I don't have a problem shopping alone either because I see a lot of people doing that.  If you feel apprehensive about going out alone, start out by going out on Sunday night to dinner by yourself.  That is what I did, I went to Ruby Tuesday's every Sunday night and it was deserted, many people are getting ready for Monday morning work and are not out eating Sunday night.  When I go to the movies, I go Saturday afternoon or during the week.  One time I did go out Saturday night and it was crowded but I prefer going at a time when a lot of people aren't there unless I am with someone else.  But I understand the apprehension at going out alone.  I think it is worse for a woman to go out alone than it is for a man.  I LOVE shopping, going out to eat and the movies and I don't want to have to wait for someone else in order to do these things.  Also, my coworkers' like to go out and I like to go out also with them but because I am quiet, they rather go with a group of people who are talkative.  One of my coworker's used to go out alone with me but the next time we went out, she asked another woman to go with us.  Another coworker didn't want to go out with me when she realized the other coworker wasn't going and this was for my birthday, it made me feel real good LOL!!!! So what I am trying to say is that don't wait for others to go with you, go out and treat yourself and enjoy your own company.  I am glad I posted this because this has helped me to be able to do the same thing, to go out and have a good time by myself.  I would like to go by myself but if they don't accept me as I am, then I will go by myself and enjoy myself.  I have 2 friends in another state where I used to live that  would go out with me alone all the time, we had a lot of fun but they are 9 hours away so hopefully I will meet other people here that don't mind going out with me alone sometimes.

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## orange

I do have one friend here who would go out with me, she is single like myself but I lost her number so hopefully she will call me soon and I will ask her if she wants to go out.  Kramershalfsister, do the same thing, ask a coworker or friend or family member to go out with you, I used to go places with my mother before she passed and I miss doing things with her.  Don't miss out on life, go out and enjoy it, it is hard, I have to fight the anxiety of socializing every day but we can make it and be successful in socializing.

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