# Struggles and Support > Frustration and Struggles >  >  Terrible, Terrible Experience on SocialAnxietySupport.com

## Crylie

i was told that in lieu of my therapy being unavailable to me now because of my insurance being terminated that i should try online mental health support communities. so i heard the most active one was âSocial Anxiety Supportâ (socialanxietysupport.com) and i joined immediately and set up to start getting active in the forums. 
I am obviously in a dire need of support from others online who are going thru the same crap I am right now, and all I saw there (literally like 9/10 posts/threads) is aggressionâ_dudes fighting on how to tell a woman sheâs fat, dudes fighting on whether itâs âworth itâ to date or have relations with girls under the age of consent, dudes fighting on whether itâs yeah-or-nay to be a âjerkâ to women so that theyâll date/sleep with them,__ dudes fighting, dudes fighting, dudes fightingâ¦all the posts female users made had 1-3 replies, but the many, many, many threads made by the 95% male community (Iâm certain), whining about how itâs âunfairâ that girls make them ânot confident enough to want to be nice to womenâ had like, 8k-20k fucking replies!!!!!!!!!?????

I was hoping to be able to bounce ideas and advice and encouragement and support off others who are in the same boat as I am, and instead Iâve read like 50 different posts so far that have made me really uncomfortable to be here. Iâm really unhappy and I wish there was some place I can go. There was one user that like, in every âIâm a Nice Guy Why Donât Chicks Want To [BEEP] Meâ thread that would give advice on how to essentially rape women!! He suggested at length to give a woman a âtapâ if she âsmart mouthsâ or âbelittlesâ the man and that âwomen like that because youâre like a âbad boyâ and dangerousâ.
_
_I LITERALLY WENT ON THAT SITE TO HELP ME COPE WITH MY PTSD FROM BEING RAPED AND THIS HAPPENS WOW

WOW
_
Then I had all of my threads on the forum closed because the Moderator had a problem with one of my threads where I made a complaint about how I was disappointed in the forum content so far (I'd only been on that site for 2 hours and had been triggered into 2 panic attacks because of the graphic content and the hyper-aggressive male community)._

If you are triggered by these kinds of things, as I am, please avoid this site._

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## Chantellabella

> i was told that in lieu of my therapy being unavailable to me now because of my insurance being terminated that i should try online mental health support communities. so i heard the most active one was “Social Anxiety Support” (socialanxietysupport.com) and i joined immediately and set up to start getting active in the forums. 
> I am obviously in a dire need of support from others online who are going thru the same crap I am right now, and all I saw there (literally like 9/10 posts/threads) is aggression–_dudes fighting on how to tell a woman she’s fat, dudes fighting on whether it’s “worth it” to date or have relations with girls under the age of consent, dudes fighting on whether it’s yeah-or-nay to be a “jerk” to women so that they’ll date/sleep with them,__ dudes fighting, dudes fighting, dudes fighting…all the posts female users made had 1-3 replies, but the many, many, many threads made by the 95% male community (I’m certain), whining about how it’s “unfair” that girls make them “not confident enough to want to be nice to women” had like, 8k-20k fucking replies!!!!!!!!!?????
> 
> I was hoping to be able to bounce ideas and advice and encouragement and support off others who are in the same boat as I am, and instead I’ve read like 50 different posts so far that have made me really uncomfortable to be here. I’m really unhappy and I wish there was some place I can go. There was one user that like, in every “I’m a Nice Guy Why Don’t Chicks Want To [BEEP] Me” thread that would give advice on how to essentially rape women!! He suggested at length to give a woman a “tap” if she “smart mouths” or “belittles” the man and that “women like that because you’re like a ‘bad boy’ and dangerous”.
> _
> _I LITERALLY WENT ON THAT SITE TO HELP ME COPE WITH MY PTSD FROM BEING RAPED AND THIS HAPPENS WOW
> 
> WOW
> _
> ...



Yeah, that's the site most of us left to come here. Sorry you had that experience. It's definitely a more active site, but 90% of what they have is what you got. 

That's shitty that your insurance ran out. Is it insurance with a specific job? I know there's low cost to free services in some states/countries. Is there anything like that where you are? And yes, PTSD is something that just won't go away. Online is good for support (the right online), but PTSD is something that really needs therapy to help you cope with the feelings and stress associated with triggers. 

Do you have any other options where you can get help?

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## Crylie

> Yeah, that's the site most of us left to come here. Sorry you had that experience. It's definitely a more active site, but 90% of what they have is what you got. 
> 
> That's shitty that your insurance ran out. Is it insurance with a specific job? I know there's low cost to free services in some states/countries. Is there anything like that where you are? And yes, PTSD is something that just won't go away. Online is good for support (the right online), but PTSD is something that really needs therapy to help you cope with the feelings and stress associated with triggers. 
> 
> Do you have any other options where you can get help?



Wow I had no idea!! It was unbelieveable--I've never seen a support forum so bad before. I'm really relieved that ya'll know what I'm talking about, cause it was just terrible.

My dad had a well-paying government job in California (I live in Texas with my mom) and he recently got terminated and so because of this my insurance (which was very good insurance) is done by the end of March. My mom and I are extremely low-income and I've also been unemployed for about 4 months now, with no luck at all, and I've been applying and interviewing all this time. I'm going to try and see what Medicaid/Obamacare has to offer; my biggest concerns are being able to get my medication and being able to continue my EMDR therapy for PTSD.

It's so uncertain right now  ::s:

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## Chantellabella

> Wow I had no idea!! It was unbelieveable--I've never seen a support forum so bad before. I'm really relieved that ya'll know what I'm talking about, cause it was just terrible.
> 
> My dad had a well-paying government job in California (I live in Texas with my mom) and he recently got terminated and so because of this my insurance (which was very good insurance) is done by the end of March. My mom and I are extremely low-income and I've also been unemployed for about 4 months now, with no luck at all, and I've been applying and interviewing all this time. I'm going to try and see what Medicaid/Obamacare has to offer; my biggest concerns are being able to get my medication and being able to continue my EMDR therapy for PTSD.
> 
> It's so uncertain right now



Hopefully, this is just temporary. Your mom should be able to get low cost insurance if your dad can't cover you now. Especially if you're under 18 or still in college. And don't give up on looking for a job. Maybe have somebody look at your resume. I teach a Job Skills Training program for the teens in our community, and most of the time it's their resume that's stopping them. Maybe have a few people look at it and see if you can promote your skills rather than past job experience. Most young people don't realize that they can write a resume about the skills they learned in school and in extracurricular activities which taught them the skills for a job. And most companies offer insurance, so if you can focus on getting something or your mom can focus on getting insurance, hopefully you'll get back on track.

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## Crylie

> Hopefully, this is just temporary. Your mom should be able to get low cost insurance if your dad can't cover you now. Especially if you're under 18 or still in college. And don't give up on looking for a job. Maybe have somebody look at your resume. I teach a Job Skills Training program for the teens in our community, and most of the time it's their resume that's stopping them. Maybe have a few people look at it and see if you can promote your skills rather than past job experience. Most young people don't realize that they can write a resume about the skills they learned in school and in extracurricular activities which taught them the skills for a job. And most companies offer insurance, so if you can focus on getting something or your mom can focus on getting insurance, hopefully you'll get back on track.



Thank you <3 <3 yes absolutely staying with the job search! I have a pretty solid resume and I've had a ton of job experiences too, in both retail customer service and personal assisting. I think the main problem right now is that like, neither of my parents can really "take care" of me--I've been out of school since I moved to Texas in August and had a job that I was let go from for no reason (that's a whole other story) and I'm 22 yrs old so like, my parents don't know what to "do" with me. I've been living off a GoFundMe for groceries. Things have gotten bad, but I still try to keep my chin up.

My mom has her own insurance from her job but you can't add on any others to it--she's a hairdresser so it's skimpy insurance. If I get a job then I think I'll be good because yea, most of the jobs I've applied to have insurance programs/benefits. It's all in time I suppose! 

Thanks for your kind words <3 <3

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## Chantellabella

> Thank you <3 <3 yes absolutely staying with the job search! I have a pretty solid resume and I've had a ton of job experiences too, in both retail customer service and personal assisting. I think the main problem right now is that like, neither of my parents can really "take care" of me--I've been out of school since I moved to Texas in August and had a job that I was let go from for no reason (that's a whole other story) and I'm 22 yrs old so like, my parents don't know what to "do" with me. I've been living off a GoFundMe for groceries. Things have gotten bad, but I still try to keep my chin up.
> 
> My mom has her own insurance from her job but you can't add on any others to it--she's a hairdresser so it's skimpy insurance. If I get a job then I think I'll be good because yea, most of the jobs I've applied to have insurance programs/benefits. It's all in time I suppose! 
> 
> Thanks for your kind words <3 <3



I'm not sure if I helped much.  ::):  I have 3 adult children and at times in their life, they bounced back home. The downside of that is that when in my house, they have to follow my rules. So it's either live with me and make it on my rules or find a way to stay autonomous. And don't forget that if you need food, you can go to a food bank. Have you tried that? I know I'm in Texas and the organizations I've been in stock the food bank with great food. It's not expired or anything. Groups donate turkeys and farm fresh food there also, so you'll probably get better food there than even buying it.

Also, if you have anxiety issues, don't rule out the Texas Workforce Commission. They will get you evaluated like they did my ADHD son for free and if you qualify, they will help pay your college tuition and also help you get a job. They helped my son pay for the Art Institute of Dallas because he couldn't focus in community college and he's a Computer Animator today making gobs more money than me (and I have two Masters degrees and PhD credit hours). You just have to do a little research about the help that's out there. As long as you prove you're working hard filling out job applications and trying in school, they will help you. Especially if you need therapy. That's what they're there for..............to help people who have things that are holding them back from getting on their feet.

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## Total Eclipse

Hey, Crylie where are you located? There are free therapy support groups and such. If you can give a sate and county we might be able to find some resources... Sorry to hear you had such trouble on that site  ::(:

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## Crylie

> Hey, Crylie where are you located? There are free therapy support groups and such. If you can give a sate and county we might be able to find some resources... Sorry to hear you had such trouble on that site



I am in Austin, Texas! I had a pretty cushy fancy therapist that i *may* now have a chance to continue seeing but I'm still unsure if it's going to work out! There are some free ones here that I looked into--most are religious or attached to a hospital out-patient program so I'm uninterested in those.

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## Chantellabella

> I am in Austin, Texas! I had a pretty cushy fancy therapist that i *may* now have a chance to continue seeing but I'm still unsure if it's going to work out! There are some free ones here that I looked into--most are religious or attached to a hospital out-patient program so I'm uninterested in those.



I attended a program called Celebrate Recovery while attending therapy and even though it met in a church, it was a 12 step program that helped me tremendously. I didn't have to believe in God to belong (which at the time I didn't). The difference between the program and a regular 12 step program was that it mentioned "God" rather than a "higher power." But what made it so helpful for me was that I never found more honest and real people in one place. They helped me get over my hang-ups and hurts involved with my past abuse. 

So maybe in the meantime while you're waiting, maybe try it. I remember that I didn't say anything for the first 3 months in the group and after 3 months I said, "Hi, my name is Cindy. I don't think I believe in a God. Today I'm struggling with being in a room with all you holy people."  ::):  Rather than get mad or throw me out, they laughed and was really happy that I finally had the courage to speak to them. I credit being in that group therapy as something that really changed my life for the positive.

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