# Anxiety Disorders > Social Anxiety Disorder >  >  Ending a friendship

## Cassie

Me and my ex who we remained friends with mutually agreed to no longer be friends he has expressed from day one that my religious views would be a barrier in a relationship or just friendship. We decided dating was not the best and like I said stayed friends. Recently he has told me he feels I have improved on my empathy towards others and I guess caring more. I started attending support groups with him and it brought us closer which was good. But well I was in the hospital for medical issues he stayed with me that night we discussed are wrong doings well dating and if we felt dating would be better now. So I gave  a week to think about it  and agreed to date him on a Friday by Saturday morning he and I broke up. He later told me he only wanted to date me for the mere fact he wanted to feel adult feelings and have intercourse with me nothing else and when he tried cuddling with me because of my past I couldn?t lay facing him so he grew mad. But now he?s saying he doesn?t want to be my friend something about I post on Facebook a lot or something he really wasn?t making much sense I noticed him recently expressing to me that he feels he?s going to have a bipolar manic episode because his brother is returning home and other family issues. He refused to talk to any one and said he doesn?t need another pill to solve the issue. I?m having major anxiety and self hatred towards my self as I know I made my mistakes with him as taking advantage and I Recognized that I was and majorly improved and he was the one to point that out. All I know things were going well and today he expressed because we don?t laugh together much it means a friendship isn?t meant to be he?s always had weird theories which infuriated me because 99% of them were contradicting on his behalf. I mean I guess the anxiety is coming from the mere fact I feel I did something wrong he did not express I did anything wrong just the laughing issue he?s always complained I don?t laugh I don?t smile he would bicker at me to try and smile more so I feel it?s all my fault like maybe if only I was a happier person or if I was not  such a serious person. He said maybe one day destiny will bring us back together? But if it doesn?t pretty much don?t bother messaging and then he disconnected all friendship yet he did not on Facebook so I?m confused am I supposed to or is he. I?ve been very deep in thought over this he said he was scared to do this to me  due to the drastic change going on in my life from my step dad having cancer to moving to my first place to dealing with having hardly any friends. I?m also surprised I am hurt by this but did not beg for a friendship most people I would have I guess everything is just so confusing and my anxiety is bad we always had good times from Dave and busters cj Barrymore?s the movies partridge creek the  other mall around me bowling and or  bars. I?m just conflicted and feel like I?m spewing on with venting so Is it normal to feel so confused or is this something I?m over thinking. 


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## Cuchculan

Confused because there is no real reason for him not wanting to be friends. Simple as that. He sure sends out mixed messages. Time to ask yourself is this what you want in your life? Right here, right now. Maybe you need to leave him in the past. Move on with your life. I would guess he would not even allow you to do that. He would probably try and make contact every day. Little bit of tough love might be needed. This is all about you sorting your own life now. I see him as just getting in the way of that. He obviously needs help. The only way I would agree to see him again or be friends with him is if he did go and get the help he needs. It is like he hasn't a clue what he wants. This he is taken out on you. Friends one second. Not friends the next second. Time to put a stop to it. See how you manage without him in your life. Maybe a few Months down the line, if help has be got, things might pick up for him, and you can make your mind up from there. But for now I would simply cut him from my life. Tell him to go sort his own life out. Might not be easy. But which is better? Him messing with your head or you free to try and put your own life in order?

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## Cassie

Thank you for the advice. I do think it is best to just let it go like you said. I do need better more stable friends but I?m sort of struggling to find friends in general. So I hope in the future I will I guess it?s like people say quality not quantity and I have 3 amazing friends right now. And they mean everything to me. 


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## Cuchculan

I could count my friends on about 2 fingers.  ::D:  People with anxiety issues who don't do very much tend to have fewer friends than most people. But with this bloke, he was just bringing you down. Making you feel bad. Confusing you. That is not what you need in your life. You have a hobby or anything like that? Might be a group in your area for that hobby. People who like doing what you like doing. One way of making new friends.

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## Otherside

I'm going to echo what Cuchculan said. This person is making you feel bad, and possibly affecting your health with his behaviour. I hate saying this to people - but in this instance your better off to let him go. Look after yourself first. 

(Also I can count the number of friends I have on one hand too. They're awesome people. Quality friends is definatley a better thing. Although I do agree, finding more is an anxiety problem.)

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## Ironman

Can a "bipolar" attack come up like he said?  Something about that statement alone is kinda weird to me.  Anticipatory anxiety, yes, but a full-fledged manic episode over a brother?

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## Otherside

Stress can trigger them off. Or really, any sort of episode really. You also get better at noticing the early warning signs of a manic episode. That might be what hes referring to. 

Really though, if hes noticing the early warning signs, he should be getting help (and I mean psychiatric help) ASAP. Waiting for it to hit is potentially dangerous. 

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## Cuchculan

Ever wonder what happened come the end of the day? Did the OP end the friendship or what? I won't sleep till I find out.

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## Cassie

So no I am not sure when this post was said or when or what happen last what happen he and I ended it after he dropped me off at my sisters and said he did not want to be my friend I for some reason found my self angry knowing he?s confused and doesn?t know what he wants his mental health was horrible and persisted to bother him he admitted his depression got so bad he wasn?t sure what he was capable of to our friendship lucky we agreed on some very healthy boundaries I was not being a good friend as well by letting him sleep in my bed by not respecting his morals telling him it was not wrong unless we did stuff we also established 2 days out of the month we get together which has been successful sometimes it?s less. We both don?t talk about personal relationships with others unless it?s seeking advice vs bragging making the other feel bad since we dated in the past. He and I both struggle but the end of the day I may have dated him was his friend was not his friend am still his friend we have our struggles he admitted he was scared he said during his manic episode and schizophrenic breakdown I out of all his friends was the only one who stood by him he never admitted that until a week ago it shocked me because I thought his friends were positive I?m not always so positive it made me feel good because well since then he?s lost his grandpa previously he?s lost his biological dad his step dad wants divorce he struggles a lot but at the end of the day I?m therefore him I realized that when he broke down in his car listening to hear you me by jimmy eat world his dads favorite song I held his hand and told him to drive to talk and let it out that he can cry it?s okay to cry that is sad he feels alone and those don?t support him due to his illness regardless I still don?t remember what I said above but I have to mention maybe I was talking out of spite anger confusion frustration but there?s so many positive things we have to offer each other. 


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## Cassie

Basically we are still friends and thankfully we have not had any issues with our new boundaries and well he?s feeling confident in dating got another new job not what he wants he has a degree in sociology but hey working at a rite aid isn?t that bad when it was worse previously without a job 
I guess I just need to be there for him he?s a very sensitive person who deserves to know regardless how weird I am how hyper how impulsive I am he admits that I am the one who stays by him 


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## Cuchculan

Now I can sleep. Thanks for update.

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## Cassie

Your very welcome hope you sleep well I need sleep I have to watch some kids for 12 hours 


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