# Healing and Wellbeing > Study, Work and Welfare >  >  Am I Out of Line Here?

## Keddy

I HATE being one-upped.
First of all, I'm on medical leave from work, so if I make the effort to complete an assignment at home and send it in, someone please give me some credit.
I was assigned to make flyers last week. My boss sent me an email and asked if I could do it for her so I said I would do it. I drafted the design not only that day, but that HOUR, made all the edits I needed to within the next hour, and sent it in. That shows responsibility and competence if nothing else. 
Honestly, nobody else would've done that.
This girl in the graphic design department made a flyer too, and I'll admit it was really good but I'm not in that department, am I? No, I am not, I'm in management. So the design I came up with was as great as someone who's not in the GD department could put together. 
My boss really liked my flyer design, and said it was awesome and we were going to use that one, but everyone else made a big @#$% deal about the other flyer and said why don't we go with that one instead, so eventually majority ruled and they decided to use her stupid design instead.
This is where it gets REALLY bad. I made the effort to drive myself to the board meeting today, I'm STILL not supposed to go back to work until April, and I feel like crap. I just had surgery. I have a liver problem god damn it. I am not a happy person right now to begin with. I came into that meeting looking like absolute crap and they all know I just had not one but TWO surgeries. 
Nobody even asked me to give my weekly update at the meeting even though I've done all my assignments from home and stayed up into insanely late and inappropriate hours of the night working on them. For the love of GOD, people.
So at the meeting they all announced that they were going to use the new flyer design, no one said anything to me about mine even though I know I did a good job on it. Instead they all congratulated my coworker about HER design and made a big flippin stink about THAT flyer. I swear everyone just wants to make me feel bad all the time. 
My boss took me aside after and apologized, she's a good person and she really does understand, but unfortunately it's always "majority rules."
The guy I've been hanging out with from work tried to stand up for me but they don't really like him either so no one paid him any mind.
Why the [BEEP] does everything ALWAYS turn into a popularity contest?! That's what it is, you know. Just because I'm not popular and well-liked around the workplace and she is, she got the vote. Her design was good but it was NOT substantially better than mine.
I am so angry right now I don't even know what to say anymore.
Am I out of line, guys, for being upset about this? Am I just a self-indulged asshole? I really think this was wrong and it put me in a bad position.
I'm starting to dread going back to work next month. I'm a freaking MANAGER, for Pete's sakes. They could all just show a little respect once in a while.
UGGGGH FUUUUUUCKKK...

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## merc

Keddy, this is just one of those things where the best action would be just to congratulate her on her design. It's sometimes tough to do this.  Just because they liked someone else design doesn't mean that your design was complete crap and they hate you. Putting it together in an hour and getting it to your boss obviously showed your boss that you are someone she can depend on.

You admit her design was good, but will they completely use all of her design or incorporate some of your information, etc. into the design. I worked in advertising and news and generally stuff like brochures and flyers wind up being such a collaboration, It's hard to claim ownership. 

As for popularity, I struggle with this. I struggle with even believing that people like me. I hesitate to speak to people because I know deep down they really don't like me. When I feel really comfortable with someone I'm a completely different person. 

You are also a manager. Unfortunately, that status puts you on a different level than your co-workers. I'm terrible around anyone who has that title. In the real world, say I worked for you. I would only talk to you when I absolutely had to.  You probably wouldn't like me too much.

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## Keddy

> Keddy, this is just one of those things where the best action would be just to congratulate her on her design. It's sometimes tough to do this.  Just because they liked someone else design doesn't mean that your design was complete crap and they hate you. Putting it together in an hour and getting it to your boss obviously showed your boss that you are someone she can depend on.
> 
> You admit her design was good, but will they completely use all of her design or incorporate some of your information, etc. into the design. I worked in advertising and news and generally stuff like brochures and flyers wind up being such a collaboration, It's hard to claim ownership. 
> 
> As for popularity, I struggle with this. I struggle with even believing that people like me. I hesitate to speak to people because I know deep down they really don't like me. When I feel really comfortable with someone I'm a completely different person. 
> 
> You are also a manager. Unfortunately, that status puts you on a different level than your co-workers. I'm terrible around anyone who has that title. In the real world, say I worked for you. I would only talk to you when I absolutely had to.  You probably wouldn't like me too much.



You're absolutely right, Merc. I think I am overreacting a little. I tend to struggle with jealousy a lot at work because of my social anxiety. I think the best thing for me to do would probably be to tell my coworker that her design was really good and that I'm sorry I wasn't more appreciative of it to begin with.
And that isn't true that I wouldn't like you too much. I don't dislike the people that work for me unless they're disrespectful. I fully understand about social anxiety and wouldn't take any personal offense if someone only talked to me when they had to. I would honestly most likely think I was the problem in that situation and not the other person.
I'm also not a very bossy or controlling manager, I'm actually very shy in real life. I'm more afraid of my coworkers than they are of me, for sure. I pride myself on being a very nice person.
From what I can see of you on here, I think you're very kind and mature and you have offered me some really helpful advice. I'm not the kind of person who just doesn't like people. Most of the time if I seem like I don't like someone it's because I'm anxious.
Don't worry about people not liking you. I know it's easier said than done and I have the same issue but try not to think that way  :Hug:

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## L

I agree  with Merc and want to add TAKE YOUR ASSIGNED REST and forget about work while you can. No one is going to think of you as a hero for doing it while you are RECOVERING from TWO operations.

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## SmileyFace

Wow, that was pretty messed up of them. But I do agree with Merc. It sucks but... there's only so much you can do as a result in such a situation. I believe in being the bigger, more mature person in crappy situations, especially when it takes place in a work environment. I feel like many workplaces have quite a number of crummy people already, and it deserves someone who treats disappointing situations in a better manner than others. It's pretty puzzling that popularity contests exist after high school. I guess some people just never grow up -- or a lot of people.

In the end, you're a manager. You're automatically more badass than the rest  :;):  lol

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## Keddy

> Wow, that was pretty messed up of them. But I do agree with Merc. It sucks but... there's only so much you can do as a result in such a situation. I believe in being the bigger, more mature person in crappy situations, especially when it takes place in a work environment. I feel like many workplaces have quite a number of crummy people already, and it deserves someone who treats disappointing situations in a better manner than others. It's pretty puzzling that popularity contests exist after high school. I guess some people just never grow up -- or a lot of people.
> 
> In the end, you're a manager. You're automatically more badass than the rest  lol



Thank you, Smiley  ::): 
I completely understand and appreciate what you guys are saying. In fact, I sent her an email earlier telling her I loved the design and that she did a great job. She wrote back to me and said mine was great too and that maybe we could work together on the next design. So stuff does usually work out in the end once I can be mature about it and keep my head on straight haha  :Razz: 
I even emailed my boss and apologized for having the reaction that I did. She said it's fine, we're all human.
Thanks, everyone, for your input. Next time I'll try to be calmer about it. I'm in a better mood now and better able to think clearly.
Oh, and I loved the last bit about being manager haha  :;): 
Unfortunately many people aren't aware of the extent of my badassery  :;):

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## Ironman

On the flip side, here is something that just entered my mind.

Could they really accept your work while you are on leave?  I wonder if there is an issue with that.  If you weren't on leave, they could have taken it, kind of thing?

I wouldn't dismiss this as hatred.  The outcome could have been different if you were there.

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