# Healing and Wellbeing > Spirituality, Religion and Faith >  >  What if?

## PinkButterfly

I Am Asked by non believers why I believe in God and My answer is usually this...

I would rather Believe than Not Believe and find out in the end that I was right and I am entering his Kingdom then not believe and find out he does exist and Heaven is for Real , so who would actually win? I believe that Non Believers will also be taken in front of God and explain why don't believe but in reality God already knows why you do not believe or why you do believe. God forgives and loves us all and his Son Jesus died for Us all on Calvary not just a select few.

I am asked this also  Show me what God has done?? My reply is Open your eyes look around his work is everywhere and yes he heals people and no he can not heal everyone because God doesn't work that way people forget that Evil is real and Satan is the leader or you yourself can be your own worse enemy.

Why do children get sick and die ? Because when God created the Human body which if you really think about isn't it amazing he placed everything in the spots that they work the best??? I find it amazing but the problem is Men and Women starting with Adam and Eve sinned so the problem is Sin and Evil cause this then it is passed down to the children in many ways ..The Human body is Unique and when we including myself eat , drink and harm ourselves that is on Us not God and when people rely on meds and doctors we just never know what is going to happen.

I don't blame God for my mental and physical health I blame a few doctors and meds and my lifestyle. I am a Sinner. 

I respect everyone and I do not judge your faith or your beliefs at all I do however you do one day soon start believing and know just how much God loves you.

God didn't make up all these divided religions either Mankind did that. 

I do not proof read lol and I do not worry about punctuation or spelling because in the END GOD doesn't care either. 

Peace ,Love and Prayers.
Ramona

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## InvisibleGuy

I've had my faith tested so many times. If I'm being perfectly honest I have a somewhat estranged relationship with my higher power.

I don't understand suffering, especially suffering in vain, for absolutely no reason. A perfect example of this would be sick and dying children. Children with leukemia. Children who have their lives cut short, who never get to grow up, who never find success with a career or who never get the chance to find the true love you find in a partner, someone to share your life with.

Another example closer to home for me, would be my girlfriend's suicide. It obviously has led to years of pointless suffering, for dozens of people, of loved ones. Her three daughters are still suffering, along with me, just as much as the day she died. It's pointless suffering. No lessons were learned. No one, no one is better off for having survived her suicide...and I mean that very literally, the suicide of a loved one is something you learn to somehow survive. I'm not a better person for having gone through that. It nearly destroyed me, and I hate that saying that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", that is such a lie.

God has not always looked out for me, and he definitely wasn't there for my girlfriend when she needed him the most. And please, please don't anyone quote "footprints in the sand" or any bs like that. Ffs. 

If I sound jaded and cynical and alone, it's because I am. Go through some of what I've gone through and then, if you don't come out the other side a little jaded then you're a much stronger person than me. This isn't aimed at you, or at anyone in particular, I'm stating what, to me, is obvious.

I don't understand a higher power that loves his children unconditionally, and at the same time can stop pointless suffering without lifting a finger, yet refuses to do so. I never will understand that.

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## PinkButterfly

I totally understand what you are saying I am so sorry for the loss and the pain you feel.  I wish I could help you in some way . 

As know that believe that God does work miracles everyday but we also know that not everyone is going to make It through their health issues mental and physical .. Suicide is one that people will say its a sin and yes in the Bible it tells us that it is but God knows the pain that a person feels mentally and when they take their life God will be there waiting on them with open arms . God created everything but he did not create sin .. Satan was once an Angel and he was cast out of Heaven so he has done nothing but work overtime with peoples emotions and their physical health..

We also have to remember that even some of the best Christian people still die and some of the worse people in the world will die so death happens there is nothing we can do but pray and surrender our pain to God and his Son Jesus..
We will question God of course that is human nature for us that do believe and he will have his answers when we get to Heaven .

Earth is so full of hate and sin we forget that there is still beautiful amazing things out there , God wants us to see both sides and make the choice to believe and trust in him yes he does test us just as he did JOB . Job lost so many things and loved ones but yet Job got back up and kept going. 

God does love us all and he does to amazing things but sadly yes sad things happen. Life isn't easy .

I know what pain feels like and losing loved ones but I also know I will see them again and they will be so much better and not be suffering anymore . I am so EXCITED!!! 

My Prayers are with you and her family.

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## Cuchculan

Imagine the non believer. There must be a hole in their lives. The believer can turn to God in the hardest of times. Who does the non believer turn to? At most they keep what is inside to themselves. They are not expressing it to anybody at all. The believer might pray. Even in silence. Saying what is wrong with them. Why they seek healing. Why they are reaching out. They are talking. They are not staying silent. Believe in the power of prayer can work. You believe your God will look over you and take away anything that is not of Him and you have faith in what you are asking, you can get results. You mind is been active in the belief that you will get better. Rather than the thought that you will always be the way you are. The whole negative approach. 

We all have bad days. When bad it is easy to find a scapegoat for how you are feeling. You believe in God, you feel He is letting you down. He is not listening to your calls of prayer. Some see it as a test. You begin to feel good again it is easy to ignore the obvious. That you prayed and asked for help. Easy to look for any other excuse as to why you are feeling somewhat better. When the truth could be your belief. Your failure to give in and stop believing. 

I also think about death. It is a process in which you will go through various stages. Awake, to a coma, to death. During the coma to death I do believe you will see what you believe in. Be that a loved on guiding you on your way. A bright light. For the person who does not believe in any of this at all, they will have an empty mind. Because they never believed in anything in life. There is nothing wrong in finding comfort in a God. If that helps a person in life it is the right thing for that person.

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## kevinjoseph

Pascal's Wager covered this topic awhile ago.  Pascal wrote that it was only rational to believe in God, if only for the sake of one's own salvation, because that gives you about a 25 percent chance of avoiding Christian Hell, if you believe in God and live accordingly.  Others since have replied that that is a dim view to take of God, that Pascal's "rational belief" in God is basically for the selfish reason of not wanting to suffer eternally.  Others have pointed out that Pascal's Wager doesn't state which god to believe in, only a god, so it still leaves it up to the individual to then decide which god is most likely to allow him or her to not suffer eternally.  

I'm not saying religion is good or bad, just what others have basically already said about this topic I've read about.  

Another interesting historical fact is that up until the Manichean dualism thing in Zoroastrianism about six or eight thousand years ago, religions generally had spiritual beings who were each both good and evil.  Basically they were gods and demons, but they were pretty much humans with supernatural powers, if that makes sense.  The Greek gods were worshiped despite being both good and evil, to avoid their wrath or gain their favor.  Even in Christianity's Bible, God was considered to be a jealous god, capable of getting pissed enough with the humans who worshiped Him to smite them on occasion.  The whole story of Job, if I remember correctly, was about a wager God and Satan made, about whether Job would remain faithful to God despite Satan and God sending him all sorts of bad news, covering him with boils and reducing his life to crap.  I think God won.  

I guess this is my contention with modern Christians: they pick and choose which parts of their holy text they want to believe in.  The whole New Testament and Jesus' coming to form a new covenant between God and humans that replaced the one of the Old Testament is pretty much ignored.

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## PinkButterfly

Yes Job was tested and yes God did win and so did Job he went through a lot and showed God that he was stronger than God or Satan ever imagined he was and that is what we that believe is that if we have the strength to overcome like Job did then we can show Satan that we are standing strong with God and Satan will be defeated.

God created it all but he did not create the made up religions and all the hogwash religions going on those are False Prophets and people worship their own selves also which is basically what Scientology does after you Pay lots of money lol but that's their choice to do that .. but anyway people what to say well its geographical if you were born here or there you would be this or that well yes most likely but God did not do that men and women did that. 

Everyone Picks and Chooses their own lifestyle not only Christians . I do agree the Old Testament is being ignored and I have voiced my issues with that and much more which is why I don't attend churches anymore I am not say I wont ever again but the odds are slime due to cliques and drama and not carrying a bible but using a cell phone I am old school about that The Bible is the Book not a cell phone not a tablet ..

Death is death it will come without a doubt I am not scared of death I am scared of more suffering it isn't fun as we know but Jesus did suffer for me and I will do my best to get through the suffering and then head to Heaven that is my main goal in life. 

I do know that without God and his Son Jesus in my life I would have ended it a long time ago I can pray and cry and talk to God I do not blame him for anything that has happened I blame myself and some others and yes Satan .  I know God is a very forgiving God and he will not cast so many to hell as some believe who knows really until we get to Heaven.

I don't read books that people write about God because that is their belief and I have my own and I just don't have to urge to read them now I have in the past like Joyce Myer she has them on anxiety and depression.. I do have the Charles Stanley Study Bible I like it because he breaks it down in parts.

Thanks for the replies Cuch and Kevin.

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## InvisibleGuy

I have died so many times. 

My soul is so, so rested in peace.

You have no idea.

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## InvisibleGuy

You really have no idea.

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## InvisibleGuy

Omfg you have no idea. You don't

have

a

fuqing

clue

do

you???

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## kevinjoseph

I agree, Tye.  Sometimes I wonder about people's relationship with God.  I don't think any holy text is inherently bad or good.  To me, the Old Testament is a way for God to be understood and that's very important.  I value that myself.  I believe the Old Testament is valuable for anyone who wants to have a relationship with God, or their god or whatever they believe to be most important in life.  So it really bugs me when it is used to justify any action that contradicts the actual understanding of God I have of him as part of personal experience, which includes the New Testament, parts of which show Jesus not only acting contrary to the Old Testament, but explicitly have Jesus stating that the Old Testament no longer applies because the New Testament supersedes it.  If I remember correctly, Jesus explicitly says you can follow the OT perfectly, and criticize others for not doing so, and you're basically at best a Pharisee.

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## InvisibleGuy

so says a heretic.

* sigh *

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## InvisibleGuy

omg, yes I said that

Oh

my

God(s)

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## PinkButterfly

Invisible Are you Okay??? sorry you are having a hard time and no I have no clue just as you have no clue of what I have been through and am going through .. but I have a feeling it is you crying out . Hugss my friend. I am here if you need to talk okay. 

Kevin , People are picking what fits their life style and that isn't what should be happening but it is . I don't judge anyone that is up to God not me and I try and tell people I will be there for them and I will support them through what they are facing but I wont be used, abused, or talked about anymore and I wont be in a clique or surround myself around anyone that is out to hurt me or cause me to feel unwanted. I have enough of that here at home with my husband its been hard and I am tired but I will do my best just to be true to myself and to God.. 

We are all humans we are all going to fall down , stumble whatever and God knows this all he wants us to do is accept him and his son and live a more godly life style.  

My issue is I love people so much and then when I get hurt I cut people off or I tell them how they made me feel and some could care less some reply some yell at me and I do get mad and type back things I shouldn't and regret it but I am so done with Fake people.  I just want to make it to Heaven that's my onw and only goal and I will say getting my Son to believe God created it all.  

Sorry I am me lol I go on and on and lots of times make no sense but HEY I AM COOL AS CRAP!! LOL!!

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## kevinjoseph

Tye I agree.  I don't go out of my way to push my views on others, and I don't think you do either.  Sorry if I came across that way.

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## Cuchculan

If you took 100 people, from various backgrounds, and put them in a room together, gave them the same pages of the bible to read, you might get 100 different meanings for the exact same words. Different minds / eyes can read the same words but read them differently. Some people live word for word by what the bible tells them. But what it tells them if might not tell you the same thing. These would be your bible belt people. They create their own churches. Sadly they do get followers. Some become rich off those who follow them. Which is wrong. They use God and His words for their own gains. 

People with faith are strong. Why? Because their faith is tested so often. But they still believe. You can look around and question wars and the likes. God created man. He didn't bargain for the evil that some men could do. Call it getting a chance at life. Some do the right thing with their chance. Others run riot. Is it right to blame God for those who ruin their chance at life? Like to try and ruin the chances of those around them? That is down to those individuals. If they think they are doing right they will continue in their ways. Call it blinded by power in some cases. In others blinded by hatred. 

Come the end of time the end result for us all will be the exact same. Death. My favourite topic. It is part of life. We are, in effect, dying from the day we are born. Is what you do in between life and death that matters most. That is your chance. Make what you will of it. So at least you can say that you gave it your best shot.

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## InvisibleGuy

> Invisible Are you Okay??? sorry you are having a hard time and no I have no clue just as you have no clue of what I have been through and am going through .. but I have a feeling it is you crying out . Hugss my friend. I am here if you need to talk okay.



(((hugs))) back to you TyeDyed. I don't mean to seem like I'm crying out lol, I'm OK, I'm just ambushed by grief and loss lately, among other things. I'm being pulled in a billion different directions at once lately, feels like I'm being stretched too thin. I'm really trying very hard lately to not completely lose what faith I have left but it's been difficult. Thank you for offering to be there.

ETA: I totally realize everyone suffers and goes through their own battles. I don't think I have it worse than anyone else. Not aimed at anyone on this site, but imo it's very easy to say "just have faith when your tested" esp when you haven't suffered any true loss in your life, or witnessed a suicide, or have seen three loved ones buried all within nine months of each other. It's very easy to say you just need to have faith and go through the grieving process and not lose your way. I'm sorry but those words mean absolutely nothing to me if they come from someone who hasn't experienced the same thing. They are just....meaningless.

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## PinkButterfly

I do totally get what you mean and I am very sorry and yes it is very easy to say things that try and comfort someone because honestly we don't really know what to say to someone that has been through so much. 

I went through losing my Step Dad in October of 2011 then in March of 2012 my Brother fell and died then my cousin died then my aunt died then my uncle died then I  found out I had a brain tumor and had planned on having it removed but my mom was so depressed and not doing good so I had to manage her bills and take care of everything for her and then she started feeling sick so we had her checked out her melanoma came back and had spread all through her body so I had to take care of her at her house then mine and more but she ended up dying December 2014 and I finally broke even more I just wanted to let the tumor take me and I was allowing that to happen but I was not feeling good went to the ER and they did a ct scan and said it had grown so I went straight to OSU and had surgery I didn't care if I Lived I honestly had NO anxiety NO fear because I had made peace with God and Life and I wanted out but God had other plans for me I guess and during the time I was in the hospital my Husband sold our House of 21 years and was pushing me to move I was doing nothing but setting and crying and our Furbaby was sick also and my hubby was losing it yelling at me and Link who couldn't help he was sick so I just wanted to die and be done but once again God didn't want me to go.. I ended up moving in the dark because of my agoraphobia and I was so distraught I hated it I mean HATED it and I got here to the new house which was back to where I was born and I sat and cried still not showering , using a bed side commode by my recliner crying my eyes out and praying a lot and yes still hating this house with a passion so he is gutting the house and killing my head with pounding and dust and more I had to sell and am still selling everything I loved because we downsized I didn't have any Christmas decorations out because I was a mess the house was a mess and I was depressed and a mess and Link was getting worse but as time went on I finally realized that I had several choices which were to embrace the move and embrace the fact that life was only going to change for me If I pushed for that to happen and that yes Link was dying... I made myself get up and start using the small bathroom which my walker wouldn't fit in so I would back in and use the commode and set and wash myself off and then I felt better each time I did that I had the bedside commode removed and said to myself either get up and walk to the bathroom or crap yourself!!! I prayed a lot and cried a lot but I knew with every fiber in me GOD wanted me up and fighting because he brought me through so much in life I could tell a lot more but I wont .. anyway my new bathroom got done and I love it and I started showering myself and felt awesome but sadly Link was getting worse in Jan he got a lot worse so I had to decide if we keep him alive on a lot of meds and him still be in pain or finally accept that his 15 years of life with Me up he came to me to help with agoraphobia back in 2003 and he did that he did so much more and he was with me through the deaths the health scares the move and once he knew I was better .. it was time and I miss him every waking hour and my mom every day but I know without a doubt they are waiting on me in Heaven.  I don't blame God at all I never have but yes of course I question him but then he sends me signs just small ones and I am so thankful !!!

We never know what tomorrow will bring but all we can really do is just take each second as it comes and do the best we can . Death will come sooner or later we all know that so as the Poem  THE  DASH  says MAKE YOUR DASH MATTER , meaning what in  between those years of your life did you do with them?? mine started in 1965 on Sept 22nd and I can say in mine I have loved I have made a difference in some peoples lives and I have worked in the medical field helping others, I have  had fun  I have had heart aches, I did some pretty cool things, and most of all I LOVE GOD AND HIS SON!! 

I have thought many times of taking my own life I have planned it out numerous times but I don't wanna go out that way I wanna go out fighting and screaming. 

God seems to help us if we allow him and many want to blame him instead of Thanking him for all he has created and has done for us.  I blame myself and Satan and yes some people that caused me a lot of physical and emotional pain.. 

Okay enough  for now lol... I am here like I said and if you ever need to talk let me know okay. 
Ramona

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## JamieWAgain

((((((((((Hugs and love))))))). TDB thank you for sharing. I am so in awe of your faith and your strength. Yes, God works in such mysterious ways.

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## InvisibleGuy

@TieDyed I agree with Jamie. Thank you again, thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for all the loss you've gone through.

The suicide I witnessed has really screwed me up in ways that are hard to describe, and that includes me completely losing all faith for a few years. The therapists and grief counselors I've seen have told me that most everyone looks for a partner that in a lot of ways reminds them of their opposite sex parent, as strange as that sounds. My mom was never there for me, I never had a relationship with her. My last serious gf killed herself. Ironically enough, my mom tried to kill herself and almost succeeded, she was in a coma for days and almost died. So to say I have abandonment issues is such an understatement. People closest to me seem to abandon or leave me in the absolute cruelest ways possible. And the first was my mom starting when I was three years old (I think), so not all of the loss, the abuse and the abandonment can be my fault. Like a lot of the loss you went through.

I can't be the only one to have lost faith, or to be hanging onto it by a thread, I refuse to believe that, and I refuse to believe it makes those people weak. When I was a teenager I was very close to a cousin of mine. She died in a horrific car crash when she was 17. Her parents had a very close friend who also lost a daughter less than a year later. I'll never, ever forget her parents saying "God just keeps taking our children from us".

I mean, how else would anyone expect any human being to react? It's a pretty normal reaction imo, and I refuse to believe reactions like that from people that have been through so much loss makes them weak, or less human, or broken. I refuse to believe it.

Anyway thank you again for sharing, your story means a lot to me.

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## PinkButterfly

No you are not the only one at all trust me you are grieving like everyone does and that is normal and you aren't judged at all by me and I would hope not by anyone else because No one really knows what someone else feels we are all different.  

I watched my brother lose his mind when my Mom left us I have a Post on the forums about what my brother did to me. I watched my Mom and Brother and others just come so close to dying I bought cemetery plots for them all and myself I knew it would come down to one of them dying I just didn't know when or how but I knew that several would be drugs or drinking and My brother was drunk when he fell asleep and caught his apartment on fire and tried getting out but his foot got caught and he fell down the outside stairs hitting the cement and hitting his head My Mom got there and seen that and was screaming and crying it was a nightmare!! her losing my step dad due to drugs we horrible also he had been my second dad for over 20 years he shot up with dirty needles got hep c, and would not lose weight and get off drugs to get a transplant so he ended up dying due to his drugs my younger brother now is a druggie and looks like the walking dead I cant handle seeing him like he is and he cusses me and everyone else threatened to kill me and my husband burn our home down and more and my younger sister was arrested for drugs and stealing her kids were taken away so I don't see her.. right now my Dad is addicted to Pain meds and Benzos and lies like a dog to me and thinks I believe him but I get calls from Doctor offices.. I am in a NO win with my family so I stay pretty much to myself and I have a few friends who come see me. 

Years ago I had to have my mom arrested and then put in a mental hospital she went totally off her rocker and was standing on the stove, walking the highway naked, crawling under tables and then threw gas on my step dad so I had to step in she was hearing voices and talking really low and saying SHHHH MONA they can hear Us I knew I had to do what I did and it was horrible they came and took her to jail because that was the only way I could take over and she begged me from the jail cell to let her out and how could I do this too her it was horrible I was at that time married to a man who was beating me almost everyday so I was super stressed trying to work and do what I could for her and for my son and for that dumbass!! I ended up getting her transferred to the mental hospital and she was there for around 6 weeks she begged me over and to get her out and I refused too but she ended up getting better and thanking me.  

I want you to know that You are loved and understood by me and by many others and by God and no the image engrained in your head and heart will never go away mine will never but with determination  and help and finding whatever faith or belief works for you helps even in a small way.

Thanks Jamie and IG, We all have Life Stories I could go on and on about what I have been through in my life and still am but we all are living our lives facing things and it sure isn't easy at all.

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