# Struggles and Support > Frustration and Struggles >  >  Why is this site...

## whiteman

Why is this site so much more civil than that other SA site??? I have a theory some of the worst people on that other site don't have SA. I have never heard one of those people mention they have SA, depression, anything. All they do is attack attack attack. What do you think???

I try to be civil on that site but as soon as I'm attacked, I'm going to defend myself. Is that wrong?

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## Harpuia

In any hostile environment (debating sites), I am ready to defend myself at any point.

That's why I'm kinda glad I found this place.  Can just kick back and relax.

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## Antidote

Because this site is small, which means morale is higher. When sites get kind of large, (and aren't moderated properly) people don't really get a collectivist / cohesive group feel from it. So it becomes each to their own. They turn into assholes and attacking people becomes a sport.

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## anonymid

> Because this site is small, which means morale is higher. When sites get kind of large, (and aren't moderated properly) people don't really get a collectivist / cohesive group feel from it. So it becomes each to their own. They turn into assholes and attacking people becomes a sport.



This. The other site has gotten much larger over the years, and it's just natural for a forum to attract more trolls and jerks when it gets that big.

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## compulsive

Because locked threads arent deleted, threads that should not be there arent deleted. People see them from google search and use the site for the same purpose as they were searching for in the first place.

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## Chocolate

Smaller site, good moderators, many of us came from that site because we were sick of the crap there....

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## merc

I am a member of another support site for parents of children with tethered cord syndrome and on occasion there have been mini wars over stupid things like a certain highly recommended doctor. One person would defend this doctor no matter what and criticized all of us who didn't take our children to see him. Also TCS come with a lot of other related defects and when you are going through it make life and death decisions for your child you are stressed to the breaking point.  I was worried all the time. I would cry each night. 

People can be mean. I must not of taken pre-natal vitamins. Well, I did. I was too old to get pregnant. Maybe? "God knew you were a special Mom to take care of a special kid."  Sometimes what was meant as helpful advice comes across as mean.  Donna

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## Coffee

This site feels like a family.


in a good way.

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## WintersTale

This site is so much better. I feel so warm and welcome coming here. It's like a family.

There is one other forum that I belong to, that I feel that way. I've never mentioned it by name, but some of the admins would be interested (pm me if you want the link), because it's also a mental health relationship oriented forum, and I've been a member of it for three years. I would typically hide out there, when the other forum (that we shall not name!) became too much to bear...and friends there would always cheer me up. 

I am not an easy arguer. If someone goads me, I become rather unpleasant. I think the main reason I was always fighting on the other forum was that people would goad me on and troll me. I just permanently banned myself, and one of the last things I posted was a response to a thread where I was trying to make the OP feel better about something that was bothering him. Someone posted something mocking me, and I said "If you have nothing pleasant to say, why respond at all? Keep it to yourself." That, sadly, was the essence of that forum in the past five months...it's turned into a "I don't care if you don't like what I post, I'm gonna post it anyway"...people need to think before they respond to threads.

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## Sagan

I second Coffee and WT.  ::):

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## whiteman

Yeah that other site brought out the worst in me. It was just really counterproductive. I like to write, and I like to write about controversial subjects, but the personal attacks on that site were too much, and it seemed like there was a double standard. I think everyone should be allowed to say what they want, or everyone shouldn't be allowed to say what they want. There shouldn't be different rules for different groups of people. 

The bottom line is I usually felt worse after being on that site.

I think most of the people on this site are older than many people on the other site too. I think that has something to do with it. I think as you get older your beliefs become more realistic as you gain real life experience. Also, don't the moderators on this site actually have SA. That could have something to do with it too.  ::D:

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## T-Bone

Because you're all a bunch of softies!  :Smoke:

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## WintersTale

Nah, we just have anxiety and depression, which means we're more sensitive to criticism. 

The admins of that other site didn't seem to understand that. Their sensitivity meters were broken.

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## Otherside

Without going into a rant about that other place...I think it's because it's a smaller site, with moderators and admins that listen and talk and are kind to the members.

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## Skippy

I'm glad people are enjoying themselves here. =] It's a support site and a place for people to feel better, not a playground for immature fools, so those trolls better stay away. I'll show 'em no mercy if I have to see the kinds of things that ruined tiny, for example.

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## Chopin12

Hold on let me go alert them that there's still a civilized forum to pillage :Pirate:

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## Total Eclipse

Guy's...  :group hug:

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## TheCARS1979

Try not to go in the chatroom and if you do , only talk to the ones you know.

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## WintersTale

I never went into the chatroom. I always stayed on the forum.

Are you saying that the chatroom was worse? The forum was bad enough!

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## Fizzy Doom

To clearing this site is nice.

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## Lost Control Again

from what I gather, that "other *shite*" was pretty grim for a lot of you, I was only a member for about a month, but I've read loads of horror stories about it!

forget aboot it! we have this site now  ::):

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