# Healing and Wellbeing > Study, Work and Welfare >  >  Unemployed & Hopeless !

## Rawr

I just turned 18 back on July 30th so that means the child support check my mom had been getting since I was 5 stopped so now I need to try to get a jump on stuff but I'm in a pickle. First off I have never drove in my life until the other day & barely know anything about cars. I've been trying to study but everything else gets on my mind as well as the fact that I have ADD. Well anyways... I only drove a little before slamming on brakes & nearly crashing into our house. I felt like the car was more in control than me & that put me in a very uncomfortable spot. I had a terrible panic attack & it took me awhile to calm down. That's how bad my anxiety is. I have Social Anxiety, Anxiety in general, Depression, Bipolar & ADD. I know everyone has things they battle with but this mixture is taking a great toll on me I feel like. I've only been on 2 different medicines so far but really don't want to be on a bunch of crap since it costs money. I was on 40mg of Paxil (anxiety & depression) which worked some but not enough & then 250mg of Divalproex (Bipolar) but it made me terribly sick for a long time so I stopped taking it. Plus I feel like medication has more side effects than benefits. My doctor keeps wanting me to see a Psychiatrist but I have no way transportation wise to get to my scheduled appointments on time. 

I feel like it's impossible for me to drive or even work anywhere. I was turned down as a cashier at a local grocery store which I really didn't want to do but I need to do SOMETHING. I just don't know what that SOMETHING is that I could do!? Applying for disability this soon would be a pain in the [BEEP] so I need to at least get a record going that I'm not stable for the public or something if this keeps up. 

Is anyone that's an adult on here like me or similar to me that has some helpful advice? Like driving tips or places I could try working at would be greatly appreciated! I'm a dropout by the way working on my GED just so you know. Please help me... I'm feeling so hopeless & nobody I know has any answers for me.  ::(:

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## Inscrutable Banana

I can't offer any meaningful advice on employment as I'm trying to figure that one out myself. If it makes you feel any better I'm a 26-year old dropout, I've never had a job, and I haven't gotten my GED yet. Try not to get too discouraged and keep at it, as you could certainly be doing worse in that regard. Â¬_Â¬

As for the driving, if you can find a large open lot without any visible no trespassing signs or whatever that might be a good place to get a feel for basic handling, acceleration, and breaking. If you can bring some boxes or similar you could practice navigating some obstacles as well. You might find that sort of situation to be a far less anxiety inducing way to get more familiar with the vehicle before moving on to road driving.

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## Koalafan

I can definitely relate to being scared of driving! I didn't get my license until I was 21 and didn't actually start using it until I was 23 due to having massive panic attacks at the wheel  :Tongue: . It really is one of those fears where it might seem terrifying at first (and trust me it is  :Tongue: ) but as you become more and more experienced you will become more and more comfortable and realize that driving isn't so terrible and is rather easy! I definitely agree with the post above me, start somewhere (usually an abandoned parking lot) where you know people won't be there and you can practice the fundamentals of driving. Then slowly branch out from there. Add some obstacles and when you feel comfortable drive around in places where there is barely any traffic and navigation is easy and keep adding to that  ::): . Just go slowly and take baby steps and trust me you will be a good driver in no time! Remember no one starts out a perfect driver at all...especially me

Now as for jobs and such I actually just got my first job (after applying to what seems like every place in the city) and my best advice is too just apply apply apply...then apply some more  :Tongue: . Fast food places are usually always hiring and then there's plenty of retail places as well! In terms of looking for hirings there are plenty of online job boards that have good postings (simplyhired, careerbuilder, etc...). Then of course there are always the company websites that usually post what jobs are available as well  ::): . Hope this helped alittle bit  :Tongue:

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## Chantellabella

I agree with Koalafan on the baby steps. I taught all 3 of my kids and one of their friends how to drive. First we started in parking lots, then moved to neighborhood streets on weekend mornings (when not too many people were out). Once they got used to how the car felt, we just widened our street radius. The trick to driving is to train your brain to take over automatically. Once you practice enough times, your brain will remember a few steps, thus allowing you to focus on much harder maneuvers like busy streets and highways.  Once you're driving awhile, you'll be able to not worry about every little step and will start to focus on things like defensive driving. Here's a hint though. Don't drive and do anything else, like put on make-up, talk or text on the phone, or eat a pizza. Even when you get comfortable with what you're doing, you really need to focus on the road.

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## Rawr

Thanks everyone! The first time I tried to drive I was trying to bring the car from the back to the front yard. I was nervous because we have stuck up & nosy neighbors that love to tattle on you for leaving marks in the yard. Plus the neighborhood itself has a very narrow road. Cars & people are always on it so it's hard to feel at ease with so many people. Were on Final Notice here due to something so stupid so yeah. 

Now about jobs. I'm still having an issue figuring out where I'd like to work... I won't work in a fast food restaurant or any restaurant in general cause the expectations are too pressuring. Plus I have a hard time understanding people & use to screw up orders that one time I tried helping out at my Uncle's Restaurant a few years back. One person was getting really ugly with me & I eventually lost my cool and told the girl to get whatever she needed herself since I wasn't doing a good enough job. Nightmare working in the food industry...

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## TheCARS1979

hey whats up? I saw this email and  I decided to email you and try to help cause it sounds like things I went through and very similar what I went through then  to what your going through now. Okay, first,  try not to worry about everything at once. For practice at driving, you should drive in a quiet area first. Maybe a parking lot at night? Maybe a quiet neighborhood? and keep doign that till you get enough confidence. Do you have a permit? For that you need an insurance though.  I have an old car and i feel i like them more. About the job since you dont have a car ,  I suggest finding something kind of close, like walking distance. If you cant do that now, try for the disability check for now and see where it goes. I more of less felt the same way you did  a long time ago.I didnt know what to do , I was worrying and i felt my parents didnt do enough and dad tried to help me at 19 , so i felt it was kinda of late. I worked at Mcdonalds while in Hs and i couldnt really handle it. i got headaches and stressed out, it so wasnt worth it. I wound up getting fired after 9 or 10 months, it wouldve been sooner but I was only there 1 or 2 days a week for 4 to 5 hours. The only thing i dont have, that you have  is bipolar. If it wasnt for that Id say forget all the meds.  I dont take anything but herbs/ remedies and  supposedly have add and social anxiety. Ive had on and off depression. I used to take meds but i stopped more then 6 yrs ago. I had paxil and prozac and i feel they all mask the problems instead of fixing them.  I dont have  A relationship. As a matter of fact i have to make a holistic doctor appt because thats the road I wound up going down now. 

 How is the GED work going? I know i heard that its a hard test. you didnt want to stay in school? Do you have a book to help you?

Nowadays I still struggle. I work at Jetblue airlines for the past 7 1/2 years. I live with mom and stepdad, brother in law. the others stop by and stay a few days a week. Im in NY. I dont really have anywhere else to go here. I do go out from time to time and Ive  gone to Las Vegas Nevada, and Arizona alone and certain places in Manhattan over here. I do karaoke from time to time also and by myself and all but I feel limited in socializing cause certain things dont come out well cause I feel people dont understand me. Im bad at talking to girls , I dont know what to say sometimes. Id have a few alcoholic drinks, sometimes that works but i dont want to get hooked cause that was in the family too.  Anyway i hope this email isnt to  long. Email me back so I can give you more advice. My name is Steve ok

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## TheCARS1979

> Thanks everyone! The first time I tried to drive I was trying to bring the car from the back to the front yard. I was nervous because we have stuck up & nosy neighbors that love to tattle on you for leaving marks in the yard. Plus the neighborhood itself has a very narrow road. Cars & people are always on it so it's hard to feel at ease with so many people. Were on Final Notice here due to something so stupid so yeah. 
> 
> Now about jobs. I'm still having an issue figuring out where I'd like to work... I won't work in a fast food restaurant or any restaurant in general cause the expectations are too pressuring. Plus I have a hard time understanding people & use to screw up orders that one time I tried helping out at my Uncle's Restaurant a few years back. One person was getting really ugly with me & I eventually lost my cool and told the girl to get whatever she needed herself since I wasn't doing a good enough job. Nightmare working in the food industry...



Hey , yeah dont do the fast food because all you'll do is make yourself miserable. Id say try the mall if you can get there and try all the shops in the mall till you can land something and build yourself from there. Let me know how it goes for you. I wanted to check this post to see what you said back. goodluck.
Steve

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## Rawr

> Hey , yeah dont do the fast food because all you'll do is make yourself miserable. Id say try the mall if you can get there and try all the shops in the mall till you can land something and build yourself from there. Let me know how it goes for you. I wanted to check this post to see what you said back. goodluck.
> Steve



Thanks! Yeah I actually thought about working in the Mall before in a store for plus size women called Lane Bryant. I feel like I could be myself & feel comfortable there cause no one would be criticizing my weight or anything since I'm heavyset. Unfortunately it's too far away though & traffic to it is too awful. Constant wrecks & such that would trigger me off.

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## LuniaNorisi

I feel exactly how you feel, Rawrie.... I've never driven before, and I'm too terrified because my driving teacher (ex-bf) screwed me over yet again, I don't have a job, and I'm fussing about how I'll pay my rent (but luckily it's only 300 bucks a month). I get bored wayyy too easily, and I'm so terrified that no one will understand me that I don't even try to connect. Heck, I don't even keep my doctor's appointments anymore. I rarely, if ever, keep my therapy appointments--not enough motivation, I guess, and the lack of friends and a life is really annoying. My advice, though, is try for SSI.

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## Rawr

> I feel exactly how you feel, Rawrie.... I've never driven before, and I'm too terrified because my driving teacher (ex-bf) screwed me over yet again, I don't have a job, and I'm fussing about how I'll pay my rent (but luckily it's only 300 bucks a month). I get bored wayyy too easily, and I'm so terrified that no one will understand me that I don't even try to connect. Heck, I don't even keep my doctor's appointments anymore. I rarely, if ever, keep my therapy appointments--not enough motivation, I guess, and the lack of friends and a life is really annoying. My advice, though, is try for SSI.



Made this when I was 18. Turning 21 now & still in the exact same pickle. Haven't worked anywhere & still haven't drove. Failed my Permit twice. SSI is probably gonna become a reality for me.

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## Lunaire

> Made this when I was 18. Turning 21 now & still in the exact same pickle. Haven't worked anywhere & still haven't drove. Failed my Permit twice. SSI is probably gonna become a reality for me.



Do you have any updates since you last made this post?

I hope that you are doing well!  :Hug:

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## Rawr

> Do you have any updates since you last made this post?
> 
> I hope that you are doing well!



Thank you! Unfortunately I'm still in the same boat. :/

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## lethargic nomad

Failed to get a permit?  Isn't that just a written multiple-choice test?  Or are you talking about the actual driving exam?

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## Rawr

In my area it's on the computer & tricky as crap. I'm not the only one to fail it more than once.

UPDATE: I may be getting approved for SSI because I was recently in the Psych Hospital for a week. Overdosed in a Suicide Attempt & received a new diagnosis that's eligible for it.

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## HoldTheSea

I am just now getting my license and I am close to 30. There's no shame in getting your license in your 20s. Everyone should go at the pace that's right for them.
Best of luck.

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## Otherside

On the license issue- 

I'm 22 and I'm only just starting to get my license sorted. My mum was 23 when she got hers. My other half is 26 and does not have one yet. His mum doesn't drive. My grandmother never had one. 

No shame in not getting your license as soon as you legally can. 

Sent from my D5803 using Tapatalk

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## lethargic nomad

Are you going to community college now?

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## Rawr

Not yet. I went back to my job as Receptionist part time. Just got the call that I was hired back today. Waiting till after the Holidays to get my GED and look into a college MAYBE. It's not a must for me. Just want the GED.

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## lethargic nomad

That's great you got the job.  I took the GED a long time ago but it was really easy.  I didn't even have to study for it.  I hadn't really been in school for 5 years at the time.  At the time there were 5 sections: Social Studies, Science, Interpreting Literature and the Arts,  Mathematics, and Writing Skills.  They give you your percentile rank in the US.  I got above the 90 in the first 3 sections since I was reading books all the time.  Only got 80 for math and writing skills since I wasn't doing math or writing essays (barf) in my spare time, LOL.  

I don't have a driver's license either.  Thinking about getting one next year after I move.  I've mainly lived in cities where you don't need to drive.  Makes me a little nervous though since you can kill people with cars.  I've heard that the first year or two of driving is very dangerous since it takes time to learn how to drive well.  But I'm not sure if part of that is that new drivers are mainly crazy thrill-seeking teenagers.

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