# Struggles and Support > Frustration and Struggles >  >  So how many of you come across as confident on here, when really, you panic...?

## Otherside

Does that make sense? I'm been thinking about this for a while. I don't know how confident I come across on here and other forums. I think it is pretty hard to come across as panicky on a forum because well...it's hard enough to tell tone online as it is. I am fairly confident posting online, but any confidence I have has been built up by repeatedly posting on these forums, and not being told that I'm a idiotic asshole for doing so.

I still freak out on chat, though. Rarely go on there, never post, really.

In real life, I'm sure I'm not as confident as I may come across. Actually, I know I'm not. It's harder talking to someone I know in real life than it is talking to someone Online.

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## merc

Sometimes my anxiety levels vary. When things are going well and I'm feeling well in control of things I know I'm way more confident. When I was younger I was also much worse. However, I realize I was kind of bullied and shunned in high school so I have a lot of defensive behaviors. I took this quiz on defensive or protective behaviors and realized that I use or have used most of them and could add several more and was kind of happy to learn one or two that I hadn't thought of. 

When I'm feeling down all the habits I learned come back: the don't make eye contact with anyone, head up, show no emotion, appear not to be bothered by anything you hear said about you, ignore just about everyone except the trusted few. Now I learned a few new ones as a Mom required to go to school events, go plaster smile on your face and smile a lot and nod when people approach. My husband always gets mad at me for wanting to live like a hermit, but I've done this all my life.

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## Chopin12

on the forum? I dunno, I think I come across as pretty confident. hard to say =p

in person I definitely have the ability to come across as confident. especially if im comfortable with everyone around me.

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## Anteros

I'm definitely more confident online - I used to even debate a lot before I had to muzzle it as a mod on that other forum.  My offline self is catching up, though - age and experience have helped with that.

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## L

I hope I sound more confident on here than in real life. I remember my first post on the other site, I was terrified and only recently have I become more confident in chat (though no one really goes in there.) If I am not confident in what I am posting I will not post it and when I am quoted I panic until I see the response.

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## Dane

I think I come across as pretty confident.

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## haunted lyrics

Forums are still scary to post on for me. But I'm warming up quite well to them.

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## Antidote

I tend to be confrontational online and I'm the same irl, except I hold back slightly more irl mainly because I don't want to make others uncomfortable. I also hold back irl if I'm too anxious but then I usually confront people when I've calmed down. Online people feel like bots to me so they don't make me too anxious unless they personally attack me. I used to have panic attacks entering chatrooms but not anymore, though I still rarely enter them.

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## pam

To me, it seems like everyone is confident online. I assume I come across that way too, even tho after I press the post button, I put it out of my head that I just posted something, or else I will obsess about it. If I let myself worry about it, I will think I come across as either: a know it all, or at the other extreme, wimpy, and those will cause me to not post at all! So I just post and forget it.

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## GunnyHighway

I've been posting on forums for as long as I can remember. Typing up replies and posting them isn't really hard for me, it's what comes after. The constant thinking about are forum members going to hate my post and be mean towards me? Is it going to get ignored completely?

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## Penruddocke

Depends on the site and how friendly it is I can open up.

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## ohaiicasper

> To me, it seems like everyone is confident online. I assume I come across that way too, even tho after I press the post button, I put it out of my head that I just posted something, or else I will obsess about it. If I let myself worry about it, I will think I come across as either: a know it all, or at the other extreme, wimpy, and those will cause me to not post at all! So I just post and forget it.



I totally agree! I think anyone can come across as confident when really sometimes (me included) are infact not. I know that if I think too much about writing posts and replies like these, I will get myself worked up over it and worry. So I do the same thing, post and try to forget!

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## EnjoyLife

people just seem more talkive on the net.

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## Chantellabella

If people only knew how terrified I was inside. I fake confidence well. It's a survival mechanism.

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## Koalafan

I can definitely come across as rather confident in real life (or rather a fake arrogance  :Tongue: ). Of course on the inside Im a terrified baby koala  ::(:

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## Hamster

ptttt!! i delete my posts sooo often. i edit so often..

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