# Lounge > Entertainment World >  >  Random line from TV/movie

## FireIsTheCleanser

Here's a thread for lines that you liked from a movie or TV show. You can put where it's from too. I'll start.

*Seinfeld*

"It's a heavy metal group. Metalli-something."
"Ca."
"Huh?"
"Wha?"
"Ca."
"Ah."
-----------------------------------
*Veep*

"This is fucking like being operated on by a chimp with a hard-on and a hacksaw."

-----------------------------------
*SLC Punk*

"The problem with somebody giving you [BEEP] about being gay... it's not that they're wrong about you, it's that they're giving you shit."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*American Dad*

"Can you watch where you're going?"
"Can you go [BEEP] yourself?"


"You got the money?"
"You got the manners to say hello first?"
"...Hello."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Cougar Town*

"Look at her shake. It's like when you watch your foster dad go to the fridge for another beer, but you know he drank the last one 10 minutes ago."

"You don't think that's a blast, just having sex over and over and over to make your man happy?"
"I don't. But in my defense, I had a dad who loved me."

"I once had sex with Willie Nelson, but it turned out it wasn't Willie Nelson, it was just an old lady."

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Please, someone else join in...

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## enfield

*suburgatory*

"so are you and malik exclusive or what?"

"Oh malik and I are very secure as a couple. I've always told him, i told him you can do _whatever_ you want to do. As long. As you can look. At your yourself. In the mirror. And be okay. "

"okay"

"Okay".

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Seinfeld*

"Yeah, like Bizarro Superman: Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down down is up. He says "Hello" when he leaves, "Goodbye" when he arrives."
"Shouldn't he say "bad bye"? Isn't that the opposite of goodbye?"
"No, it's still goodbye."
"Does he live underwater?"
"No."
"Is he black?"

"I wonder if anyone knows he's here. If he just disappeared... would anybody notice?"

"Sorry I don't have a square to spare. I can't spare a square."

"It's go time."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that..."

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## Chantellabella

Fun thread!

Star Trek

"I'm a doctor, not an escalator!" (Friday's Child)

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## Chantellabella

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"It's just a flesh wound."

"What? The curtains?"

"Bring out yer dead!"

"Bring out the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!"

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Veep*

"I am putting out two fires in there, and I turn around to find out that you've set fire to the fucking firetruck?"

"Are we seriously going to let the guy with the police-sketch face of a rapist tell us what to do?"
"Hey! This "rapist face" gets eights... consensually I might add."

"The juice could've gotten in my eyes Dan, the spicy burrito juice."

"What do you move like, Will?"
"I move as slowly as a Mississippi detective investigating the murder of a young black man."

"Hey Jonah, settle something for me. You like to travel and have sex right?"
"Uh, yes ma'am."
"Well then you can _[BEEP] off_."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Seinfeld*

"It's like that  Twilight Zone where the guy wakes up and he's the same but everyone else is different."
"Which one was that?"
"Oh, they're all like that."

------------------------
*The Golden Girls*
"Hi Blanche, how are you?"
"Eat dirt and die, trash."

------------------------
*The King of Queens*
"Blob. The Blob. Blob Barker, Blobba the Hut, and Rub-a-dub-chub."

"Well, good luck Arthur."
"Thank you. And what can I say except, I hope you die, you fat pig."

------------------------
*It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia*

"You've got big fat titties, and I like to kill babies, _unborn_ babies.

"You know, because of the _implication_."

------------------------
*Fresh Off the Boat*

"You hit us with your car."
"You hit my car with your bodies."
"I feel cold."
"That's just your body shutting down."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*The King of Queens*

"_No_, that. Is the way. We came. From."
"Talking. Like. This. Doesn't. Scare. Me."

---------------------------
*Futurama*
"Bender, why did you jump?"
"Everyone else was doing it. I just wanted to be popular." 

---------------------------
*30 Rock*
"Now let's say grace. Dear god, thank you for this venison. Onion god, thank you for these onions. Carrot god..."

"Happy Holidays... is what terrorists say. Merry Christmas from Jack and Avery."

"THE FUTURE! AND AMERICA! Now I may have lost my train of thought several minutes ago! But if I continue to _talk like this_, no one will notice and when I stop.. you, will applaud my, ENERGY! Thank you!"
---------------------------
*Scott Pilgrim vs. The World*

"Your BF's about to get F'd in the B!"

"You know, I know it's early, but I don't think anything can get in the way of how I-- [BEEP]!"

---------------------------
*The Big Bang Theory*

"To wield Thor's hammer, Red Hulk must be worthy."
"How can Red Hulk be worthy?"
"You don't know his life!"

"Howard, your shoes are delightful. Where did you get them?"
"What?"
"Bazinga! I don't care."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*30 Rock*

"I've never been so disrespected in my life and I've gone to and worked at the post office."

"UGH, you apple-faced goon!"

"WHERE'S MY MAC AND CHEESE??"

-------------------------------------------
*It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia*

"I don't call him dad. I call him Mr. Cockersucker. Because he sucks so many cocks."
"He called me too fat to be a slut, and tried to serve me an omelet with cocaine in it."

--------------------------------------------
*Dolemite*
"Man, move over and let me pass or they'll have to be pulling these hush puppies out yo MUTHAFUCKIN' [BEEP]!"

"You got all them black bitches working for you."
"You forgot about the white ones."

"That's for fucking with me, you no business-born, insecure, motherfuckers!"

--------------------------------------------
*Seinfeld*

"I'm at 1st and 1st. Wait a minute, how can a street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!"

---------------------------------------------
*iZombie*

"Walk away from _this_!"

"Liv, I didn't want to have to tell you like this but... I'm gay. But not to worry, it's only until I eat my next brain."

"Right now it's 63 degrees, that's 17 Celsius."

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## Chantellabella

Jason Nesmith: Never give up. Never surrender.  Galaxy Quest

Rocky Horror Picture Show
Dr. Everett Scott: Janet!
Janet: Dr. Scott!
Brad: Janet!
Janet: Brad!
Frank: Rocky!
[Rocky grunts]
Dr. Everett Scott: Janet!
Janet: Dr. Scott!
Brad: Janet!
Janet: Brad!
Frank: Rocky!
[Rocky grunts]

Airplane
Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Blazing Saddles
Hedley Lamarr: Meeting adjourned. Oh, I am sorry, sir, I didn't mean to overstep my bounds. You say that.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: What?
Hedley Lamarr: "Meeting is adjourned".
Governor William J. Le Petomane: It is?
Hedley Lamarr: No, you *say* that, Governor.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: What?
Hedley Lamarr: "Meeting is adjourned".
Governor William J. Le Petomane: It is?
Hedley Lamarr: [sighs, then gives the governor a paddleball] Here, play around with this for awhile.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: Thank you, Hedy.
Hedley Lamarr: No, it's Hedley!
Governor William J. Le Petomane: It is?

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Veep*

"Using Jonah for information is like using a croissant as a fucking dildo. It doesn't do the job, and it makes. A fucking. MESS."

-------------------------------
*Up in Smoke*

"Radio dispatch, do you know who this is??"
"No, who is, this is?"

"Besides, it's just punk rock. You don't have to know how to play. You just got to be a punk. We could do that."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Cougar Town*

"I don't know what your ethnicity is, but I am into it in a _big_ way."

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## Otherside

*Ashes to Ashes*

Carnegie you've been Quattroed!

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*The Middle*
"L.O.L + C.A.R = D.O.A"

"Chill, I'll study when the teacher's handing out the test!"

-------------------------
*American Dad*

"We have to find God! You become a hopeless alcoholic and hit rock bottom. I'll search rooms."

"You may notice that my partner Greg isn't here, that's because he was raptured. Apparently God _does_ loves gays, but only if they're tops."

-------------------------
*Giligan's Island* 

"Everytime we played cops and robbers, I was always the cop. I never got to be the good guy!"
"The cop _is_ the good guy."
"Not in my neighborhood..."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Seinfeld*

"Gammy's getting upset!" 

-----------------
*Family Guy*

"Police! Random dead body search!" 

"You know, Rupert. The word "gullible" is not in the dictionary. Oh, don't believe me? Here, look it up!... What? It really isn't?... Oh, Rupert, touche! Hoisted by my own petard. Ahahahahaha.... haha.. heh... I am so alone."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Community*

"Do you know how long someone who is as sarcastic as I am would last in prison? Suuuuuuch a long time."

"The North Cafeteria, named after Admiral William North, is located in the western portion of East Hall, gateway to the western half of North Hall, which is named not after William Hall, but for its position above the South Wall. It is the most contested and confusing battle field on Greendale's campus, next to the English Memorial Spanish Center, named after English Memorial, a Portuguese sailor who discovered Greendale while looking for a fountain that cured syphilis."

----------------------------
*That 70s Show*

"That redheaded harlot is going to be Shouting out my baby's grass stains! What about my last summer with my youngest child? I bet you weren't thinking about that when you went fishing! I bought sparklers for the fourth of July! He _loves_ sparklers and now he's leaving and what are we going to do for THE FOURTH OF JULY?!"
"Uh... there's a car show in Kenosha."
"A car show? I don't want to go to a goddamn car show in FUCKING KENOSHA! I just want three more fucking months with my baby boy, and now they're gone because of your bullshit! WAY TO GO DUMBASS! "

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*The New Adventures of Old Christine*

"If you can change one person's mind about TV, it's all been worth it."

"Oh God, I'm tired. Am I done? I packed Ritchie's lunch, I ordered new towels for the gym, I put the trash out. I should brush my teeth. Eh, I had some red wine, that'll kill the bacteria. I'm good, I'm fine... I'm lonely. I'm fine. Everything's done. I'm fine... I'm lonely. I'm fine."

"Who's there?? I'm not alone in here! I have a dog! And a boyfriend! Who's a cop! And he loves me! And he's strong! He can lift me! He can carry me all over the house...

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## Chantellabella

What? 

The curtains?

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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## enfield

"my hair is part of my identity. i cant just cut it off. it's what i play with when im nervous and sometimes chew on to taste my apple conditioner."

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## enfield

"All this talk of Great-Escaping and Pokemons got me thinking: Is accepting who you are the secret to getting what you want? Do men and women really see the world so differently? Or can we agree that we’re all just monkeys with suitcases trying to seem like people? Can we get everything we need from one person? Or is that what friends are for? To be the allied POWs and whimsical Japanese mini-creatures that help us get through life? 

I guess what I’m saying is, I need to modify my Zappos order so please email me back at  your earliest convenience."

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## Chantellabella

Ray Parkins: Give me what you got, [BEEP] lips, or I'll make your face have its first period!

Sudden Impact

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Dragon Ball Z: Bojack Unbound*

"You fool. Any last words before you die?"
"Actually, Bojack, there is one word that comes to mind: KAMEHAMEHA!!!"

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Supernatural*

"I-I shot the sheriff!..."
"But you didn't shoot the deputy."
"..."

"Oh Marmaduke, you're crazy!"

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*The Big Bang Theory*

"Without realizing it, I have allowed that woman to alter my personality."
"Sheldon, you didn't have a personality. You just had some shows you liked."

------------------------------
*Cougar Town*

"I wanna party with Ron Mexico!"

"Damn Torres, if you were a guy, I'd be super turned on right now."
"Oh please. I would wear you out."

"You guys, I read something--"
"Already not a true story."

"Do you know how used I feel?"
"It's like when you hook up with a dude, and then you wake up the next morning and he's gone and there's just a note on your pillow that says 'Last night was fun, call me next time you're in Tampa' and you're like... 'What? I'm in Tampa?'"

"My cupcakes are so much more than eggs, flour, and milk. I put my soul in them. And according to some liar on Yelp, one of my fake nails whatever."

"If there's one thing that we've learned Michelle Pfeiffer in _Dangerous Mind_ or Sandra Bullock in _The Blind Side_ or Hilary Swank in that movie that no one ever saw, it's that all you need to solve minority problems is a really pretty white woman."

"I almost barfed. Luckily, I can control my gag reflex...... Nothing?"
"I don't swing at softballs."

---------------------------------------
*That 70s Show*

"I'm so glad I fought in two wars so that grown man could play with his yo-yos."

"Damn U.S. government? If it wasn't for the U.S. government, you'd be stuck in Siberia sucking the juice out of a rotten commie potato!... If the government wants to shove a tracking device up your ass, you say, "Thank You!" and "God Bless America!" "

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*The Big Bang Theory*

"Hope you're hungry."
"Interesting. A friendly sentiment in this country, a cruel taunt in the Sudan. That's a lesson in context."

---------------------------------------------
*That 70s Show*

"The best part is that idiot actually thinks I'm his friend. Like I care! I wish he were dead! Hey! We should kill Fez!"

----------------------------------------------
*Community*

"I was going to be the first person in my family to graduate from community college. Everyone else in my family graduated from regular college."

-----------------------------------------------
*Malcolm in the Middle*

"Hey, what am I thinking right now?"
"I'm smart, I'm not psychic."
"Can you understand what dogs are saying?"
"No."
"I can."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*The Middle*

"When I get rich, I'm gonna buy one of these and never use it!"

"I've been to a lot of showers with other moms--"
"Really? That's hot."
"... _Baby_ showers."
"Oh... that's gross." 

------------------------------------
*iZombie*

"Thank you for doing sex with me."

-------------------------------------
*American Dad*

"Here's my home number, my cell, and the women's shelter where I'm either volunteering or dropping off my stupid [BEEP] wife. SOUP. IS NOT. A MEAL. VERA."

"Why not? You tried to save Veronica Mars. We get it, girl detectives are bitchier than regular detectives. Fart! Not into it."

"I'll give you $48 to assimilate."

"They raised me with the same loving kindness they showed their own biological daughter."
"Ooh, Gwen. God, she's hot. Playboy hot. Great, bad enough I was aggravated, now I'm also turned on. You can be so insensitive, Francine. Kiss me like your sister. You know what, forget it."

-------------------------------------
*The New Adventures of Old Christine*

"I got a call from Barb. She's had the hiccups for the last 4 hours, she had to go to the emergency room. That was such a long message."

"I've got something to show you."
"Is it gross? I don't want to see it. Did it come out of someone? I don't want to see it... okay, I want to see it."

"Bongo doesn't live here anymore."

"All eyes go to Daniel and you know what they're thinking?"
"Who's that 10 with the 6 who thinks she's a 9?"

"You didn't notice that everyone in your gym is black?" 
"Of course not, I'm a Democrat." 
"What does that mean? 
"I drive a Prius. I don't see color."
"What color is your Prius?"
"No idea, I'm not a racist."

"I think what I'd like you to do is whatever money you're going to spend on me I want you to give that to charity."
"Sure. What's your favorite charity?" 
"Oh, it doesn't matter. Something with kids or gays or-- ooh gay kids would be good."

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## enfield

*arrow*
ive had thea procure a couple kilos of cocaine--
your mayoral campaign is off to a fantastic start then

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*American Dad*

"If two men want to open up to each other and share a love more sweet and exquisite than anything a man and woman could ever find together, then that's their problem."

"Klaus, you got the train to work!" 
"Ja! It's in my blood. My grandfather was a conductor at Auschwitz... --No, no, no! He ran the kiddie train at the zoo. You know, it's a big town, there's other stuff there... "

"I once found a robin's nest in Tim Burton's hair."

"I'm gonna go hit the juice bar, you wouldn't like it. It's not about living out childhood abuse through degrading sexual encounters. It's more about juice."

"The tour ends here? I thought that was a lap pool... Mike, you ended the boat tour in my office? Unacceptable. Get over here and fix it. And don't send your 20-year-old stoner son... I know, because I'm not an idiot, Michael!... Look I went through the same thing with Lily and she's at Yale now. Just talk to him. And by talk, I really mean listen. And fix my damn lair, you thieving [BEEP]!"

------------------------------
*tosh.0*

"Being a white boxer is like being a Republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans."

-------------------------------
*Chappelle's Show*

"Does Wayne Brady have to choke a [BEEP]?"

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## Sagan

Red alert. All hands to battle stations

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## enfield

"I love you, I'm in love with you, and I love loving you." - ryan shay

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## enfield

"just because you're around doesn't mean you're _around_"
"isn't that one of those loopy things mom used to say"

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Justice League Unlimited*

"Train!"
"I see it."
"TRAIN!"
"_I see it._"

Batman: "You were a little hard on the boyscout, don't you think?"
Superman: "I thought _I_ was the boyscout."
Batman: "So did I, but then I met Captain Marvel."

-------------------------------
*iZombie*

"Okay, she's going to the gym. We have an hour."
"More like 90 minutes. You don't get an [BEEP] like that only working out an hour a day."

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## DarkLight

"you're not moving quick enough..get the F#%@ outta my house"
"Because you were here for your demo...yo a.s.s wasn't feeling me and you..you need Prozac baby and you know I'm telling the truth"

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## Member11

> *Homer*: I am so excited I couldn't fall asleep. I even took some pills I found on the floor and still nothing.
> *Apu*: You took some pills you found on the floor?
> *Homer*: Uh huh. Now I'm afraid that if I stop talking I'll die. Isn't Mick cool? I thought he'd be all like, "I'm a rock star. Aren't I great?" But he's just like you or me, or Jesus over there.



My favourite Simpsons moment ever, it gets me everything  :XD:

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## enfield

"somewhere somplace there is a ghost that's going to talk to me"
"and what if there isn't"
"then im going to take great pleasure in trying to make them"

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Family Guy*

"Okay, but I'm warning you: if this movie turns me gay, I'm gonna start bringing gay guys home; and I don't mean the classy "Maybe they are, maybe they aren't" gay guys I mean the loud "Oh my God here they come" gay guys not the "fix up your house" gay guys.

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Veronica Mars*

"I didn't know you knew her."
"We used to be friends. A long time ago..."

*iZombie*

"That belongs to someone. A long time ago, we used to be friends..."

"If you're watching this. I'm already dead."
------------------------------------

*SLC Punk*

"I don't know, we were, like, just kickin' it... smokin' cigarettes and... Trish had, like, candy corn, dude, and... We were just watching birds and [BEEP] and I just started thinking... Salt Lake ain't that bad, you know."

_"The question lingered in my mind about Bob and Trish. Were they in love? So I'd thought I'd just ask outright"_
"Are you guys in love?"
"... Who?"
"You and Trish."
"Oh. Uhh... I don't know. I'll have to think about that."
"It's not really a thinking question."
"Well you know I worship her and all. She's like a goddess. If she died I'd die. If she told me to... cut off my left arm I'd probably do it. If she told me to lick a cop's asshole, I'd probably do it."
"All right, all right, I get."
"So yeah, I guess I love Trish. It's weird, man, I never thought I'd fall in love."
"I was just wondering. I always thought you were a poser."
"Why am I poser?"
"Because you fell in love with a girl. Only posers fall in love with a girl."
"Well then fine, I guess I'm a poser!"
"That's what I just said!................... Hey Bob? I don't really think you're a poser. I was just busting on you."
"I know. I didn't think you thought I was."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Cougar Town*

"You know she hit me with a frying pan yesterday? Luckily, I worked at an IHOP in Tampa for six months, so I knew how to take it."

"I'm just nervous. You know, my stomach feels like it's full of butterflies. Seriously, it feels exactly how it did when I ate all those butterflies."

"So Laurie and I have this new trainer-- "Crazy Chris." Well, actually, he's an ex-con that we pay to yell at us so we work out harder. He says all I need to do is lower my carbs and get crazy wiry, so eses in the yard think I'm loco."

"Uh, what are you doing in Tommy's house doing a Latin Kings shake?"
"Um, I can answer that. Laurie, blind her with your wine!" 
"You've ruined my best dress! I'm calling the police."
"That's your best dress? _I'm_ calling the police.. the fashion police."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*New Girl*

"You unbelievable pig person. You giant fat pig person. You sloth, you should be living in a tree in Costa Rica."

"Have you ever seen sex from above, Cece? It's _horrible_. That's why God thinks its a sin."

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## Chantellabella

From one of my all time favorite movies: To Wong Foo. Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar

Vida Boheme: Carol Ann, if we're going to be friends, there really is something I should tell you...
Carol Ann: Adam's Apple?
Vida Boheme: What?
Carol Ann: Adam's Apple. Women don't have Adam's Apples, only men have Adam's Apples. The first night that you came to town I noticed that you had yourself an Adam's Apple.
Vida Boheme: Then, then you know?
Carol Ann: I know, that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend who just happens to have an Adam's Apple.

Noxeema Jackson: When a straight man puts on a dress and gets his sexual kicks, he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body and has a little operation he is a Transsexual.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: I know that.
Noxeema Jackson: When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for one gender he is a drag queen.
Vida Boheme: Thank you.
Noxeema Jackson: And when a tired little Latin boy puts on a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress!

Vida Boheme: Your approval is not needed.
Noxeema Jackson: Approval neither desired nor required.

Noxeema Jackson: Little latin boy in drag, why are you crying?
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: It's just cause the two of you are so pretty, you know. You're so pretty.
Vida Boheme: Yes, of course we're pretty, but why are you crying?
Noxeema Jackson: Maybe she just found out Menudo broke up.

Vida Boheme: [after Chi-Chi gets upset about being called a Boy in a dress] You have the potential of a lifetime and you are squandering it.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: So what do you care?
Vida Boheme: Yes you will start off a mere boy in a dress, but by the time we are done with this crusade your Auntie Vida and your Auntie Noxee will give you the outrageous outlook and indomitable spirit that it will take to make you a full-fledged Drag Queen.
Vida Boheme: So now, I want you to turn your swayback little self around on those Robert Clergerie Knockoffs and get back in this car.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: Maybe I'm not just a boy in a dress.
Vida Boheme: All right you are... a Drag Princess.

Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: How do I look?
Noxeema Jackson: Like the Miami Sound Machine just exploded all over you!

Vida Boheme: Since you have obviously learned nothing, I am hereby stripping you of all your princess points.
[exaggerated ripping up and throwing away motions]
Noxeema Jackson: Oooooh! That's voodoo.

Vida Boheme: Chi-Chi, you just sit right here. I am going upstairs to have a talk with Miss Noxeema. We will be right back.
Noxeema Jackson: I am not going upstairs with you. I ain't drivin' you no more, Miss Daisy

Carol Ann: This is the presidential suite.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: Must've been one of those bad presidents.

Noxeema Jackson: You obviously have me mistaken for Miss Rosa Parks.

[after Billy Ray comes to ask a girl out]
Vida Boheme: I declare.
Bobby Lee: I declare.
Carol Ann: *I* declare.
Noxeema Jackson: I decline.

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*Cougar Town*

"Just remember: you can't hear the world laughing at you if you're laughing harder."

"Andy is so excited for you to fail, that he and I made a side bet. If you lose, I have to start calling Stan by his middle name. I can't say, "I love you, Hector." It's not in me."

"How'd you get in here?" 
"Your door is held shut with suspenders. When I came in, I found a bum making a sandwich." 
"Oh, that's just Gary. Or Dennis. Did he have a beard, or a huge beard?" 
"I don't know.. I was screaming..."
"Oh, that sounds like Gary."

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*The King of Queens*

"Look at them sitting there. They have no idea how their lives are about to change. They're helpless antelopes. We're lions in the grass.Let the hunt begin...... so go ahead."
"I thought _you_ were going."
"_Me_? I don't need to meet women."
"You just said, 'Tell me who you like.' That's what the pimp says before he goes and gets you the girl."

---------------------------

*Veronica Mars*

"So what exactly did I say?
"The expletive racial expletive had it maternal expletive coming."

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## enfield

*izombie*

"that's what we in the biz call an encouraging parasympathetic response"

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## FireIsTheCleanser

*American Dad*

"Excuse me, but what did you think of the movie?"
"Eh."
"But how about that Jody Foster? Pretty hot huh? I bet you'd have to do something really special to impress a girl like that."
"That's disgusting. She's 12."
"Yeah, a hard 12! Grass on the field, go shoot the president!."

"Steve, I'm a professional film editor, I can do anything. Tyler Perry's movies are actually quite good before I get my hands on them."

----------------------------

*Mean Girls*

"Oh hell no! I did not leave the South side for this!"

"My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*Veronica Mars*

"We all saw her lurking."
"Lurking? You mean 'standing while black.'"

"Sorry to blow your mind, Veronica, but I'm a lesbian."
"Oh... well... that's cool."
"Only in college."

"I think when you get out into the world, you'll find that not all well-dressed, articulate, detail-oriented men are gay. Many of them are just Asian."

----------


## enfield

*izombie*

“did he seem threatening?” 
“No, he was a wuss. it was his wussiness that triggered my vision”


"what the hell lilywhite, its 7:45 pm, are you 90? "
"rough day is all" 
"im gonna remind you of something son, something you already know. the world ain't all dilly bars and debutante balls. the world throws wicked punches, wants to see who goes down easy. some people stay on the mat. not you though. you were an undersized walk-on free safety at udub. three years later you were a starter. it takes a tough get-back-off-the-mat son-of-a-bitch to do that. but that ain't what impressed me. i fell in love with the guy who could've cashed in on his looks, his connections, his notoriety, but instead said i've been blessed and i wanna give back. im going to be a social worker. im gonna be the guy that helps others get back up. i know you've taken some haymakers lately. i know this time its harder to get back up than its ever been. but you're major _motherflipping_ lilywhite, and you dont quit!"
"god you're so weird"

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*Veronica Mars*

"I was hoping you could help me with something."
"Absolutely. Unless its physics. Or chemistry. Or math. Or English... P.E. I was good at P.E."

"I'm not a criminal mastermind! I'm just a painter!"
"Yeah well, so was Hitler."

"Now maybe people would say they'd never install a tracking device in their significant others car, but I think that's just because they don't know how."

-------------------------------

*Family Guy*

"Tis a glorious afternoon, wouldst thou not agree?"
"Uh, yea kind shrew. I... before thee... except after C."

--------------------------------

*Seinfeld*

"I can feel his blood inside of me! Borrowing things from my blood!"

-------------------------------------

*American Dad*

"Hold on, just spotted the alien in a cabana. Or is "cabaÃ±a"? The kid who brought me my towel said "cabaÃ±a" but... I don't even think he's from here. Well if he is, he's not from money."

"Let me out! Or I'll tear up all your clothes!"
"Go ahead. In case you haven't noticed, I only wear this one outfit."

--------------------------------------

*Cougar Town*

"Mom... what are you doing here?"
"I brought your laundry. I washed all your little T-shirts and your undies. Oh, I used the lavender soap because I know how you like to smell like a bitch."

"Okay. I've always wondered, why do you take your pants off when you pee?"
"Well, what am I gonna do, stand there with 'em around my ankles like a little [BEEP]?"

"He looks like that nerdy lesbian from Scooby-Doo."
"Who looks like Velma?"
"Ruh-roh, rits Rayson!"

"If I could, I'd have them shrink me down so small I could live in your blood."

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*Veronica Mars*

"So what would Stan Marsh say in a situation like this? I think we all learned a valuable lesson about faith. You give it to the people you love. But the people who really deserve it, are the ones who come through even when you don't love them enough."

"snickerdoodleme? :D"

------------------------------

*iZombie*

"So I guess 'You are what you eat' isn't just a bitchy thing my mom says about fat people."

------------------------------

*Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt*

"*WHITE WOMEN FOUND*
HISPANIC WOMAN ALSO FOUND"

"Thank you, victims! Thank you, victims! Thank you, victims! Thank you, victims! Thank you, victims! Thank you, victims!"

------------------------------

*30 Rock*

"I didn't know this was a _French_ restaurant!"
"Yeah, I found it on my favorite website: 'Stop showing off, Dotcom." 

"Do you have any meth?... or meth?"

"Michael, are you back on meth?"
"No! Why.. you got some?"

"What's cocaine like?"

"I'm contractually obligated to pull out some [BEEP]'s weave eight more times this season."

"I'm Portia, and I don't care what anyone says; _I keep them 3-D glasses_."

------------------------

*Late Show with David Letterman*

Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "Thank you for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale."

----------


## enfield

*veronica mars*

"why are you holding your hands like that"
"so one day in your memoirs you'll describe me as inscrutable"
"i was leaning more towards bonkers"

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*Community*

"Stifle your slackened maw, you drained and tainted bitch-dog."

"If it's any consolation, she got me here on a _very_ misleading text message."
"Jeff, technically you are about to get screwed in the biology lab because our final project has been destroyed."

"And who the hell are you always texting? Everyone you know is here."

"Look at me now, dad!"

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

Question: Can we quote web series? Wait a minute, this is my thread, I can do whatever I want.

*After Hours*

"My arm is not long enough for the jerk-off motion that is in my soul."

"Michael, no one in the _world_ owns a laserdisc."

"_Katie's_ _Little House of Pies and Little Cat Pies_ is going to _blow_ up."

"Learning hella lessons, every hella day."

"BOOM! Suck on my both my tits!"

"If _my_ car had broken down there would've been plenty of emergency food and water for _everyone_."
"If _my_ car had broken down, it wouldn't have broken down."

"He's gone mad with Aspergers!"

"Haha.. I wish this would stop--"
"SHUT THE [BEEP] UP!"

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*Justice League Unlimited*

"SHAZA--"
"Fight's over, son."

--------------------------------------

*Young Justice*

Flash: "Still we could always use more raw power. Earth _does_ have a third Green Lantern: Guy Gardner."
Hal Jordan and John Stewart: "No."
Flash: "But we could really--"
Hal Jordan and John Stewart: "*No*."

-------------------------------------

*The Big Bang Theory*

"That's thinking ahead."
"The alternative would be to think backwards. And that's just remembering."

"I don't object to the idea of a deity, but I'm baffled by one that takes attendance."

"Yes. This is Enrico Fermi, Richard Feynman, Edward Teller, Otto Frisch, and Zazzles."
"Zazzles?"
"I was going to name him Herman von Helmholtz, but he’s so... _zazzy_."

-------------------------------

*Veronica Mars*

Veronica Mars: "After all these years, do you not instinctively fear me?"

"Sometimes a random ass-kicking's a good thing. Keeps everyone else in line."

----------


## enfield

*veronica mars*

"aren't you awfully young to be doing this?"
"it's amazing, i never get tired of that question."

"unfortunately there's no laws against exploiting horny rich middle aged men."

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*30 Rock*

"I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom! I once bit into a burrito and there was a child’s shoe in it! I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s. The sewer people stole my skateboard! The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor - generally considered to be one of the worst Presidents of all time! I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo… They were very drunk!!"

----------


## enfield

*veronica mars
*
"this is cool huh. it woulda been cooler to have like a date but actually im kinda prouder i came alone. its kinda huge for me dont you think? its like im evolving."

"last week at karaoke i did cant get you out of my head and i dedicated it to this table of cute guys but then i realized they weren't cute. they were dweeby pan high guys and not the nice nerd kind but the weird and creepy..."
"...potential stalker kind?"

"i hate fake deer too. every time i see their stupid faces i wanna grab a shotgun and go all cheney on them."

----------


## enfield

*veronica mars*

"mac, he tried to kiss you"
"and my labidont kicked in"

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*That 70s Show*

"So Red, what do you do?"
"About what?"

"Eric, in my country we have a saying: "Ugh, Styx" 

--------------------------------

*Cougar Town*

" Cool! Wizards vs. Nerd:
'*I'll strike you down with my spell!*'
  '_No! Science is the answer!_' "

" '_Hey, I'm moody and sarcastic, and home from college for the fourth week in a roll because I don't understand how college works._' "

------------------------------------

*American Dad*

"Are you a [BEEP]? It's cool if you're a [BEEP] but know right now, I don't get with no whore."

"Hi, I'm Laura, the new girl. Want to show me around and perhaps misinterpret my friendliness?"

" 'Give me waves of grain alcohol and we'll see how purple your majesty gets.' "
".... What?"
"It's from a song."

"Look at that cheap weave. [BEEP] got no class."

"Unhand me, inebriated temptress, I shan't waste an ounce of [BEEP] on you!"

"I had all this in storage from when I lived in Phoenix. Actually I lived in Mesa but when you say Mesa no one knows what Mesa is so.. I-I-I mean it's Phoenix, I lived in Phoenix."
...
"Scotch is really blowing it up. I hate that d-bag but I owe him one from when we were roommates in Mesa.... it's outside of Phoenix." 
...
"What about your job? And where's all our furniture??"
"I used my vacay days, and I think somewhere near of Phoenix."

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*American Dad*

"Ugh, Francine, when I look at your hair, I doubt I could eat the amount I want to vomit."

"I enjoy a solitary BBQ lean pocket at midnight. It's become a ritual, your presence would disrupt that."

"I'm sure it's going to be a huge success!" 
"'Godlike"? I don't know if I'd go that far."

------------------------------------------

*One Piece*

"He must be queer. Pretty cool."

----------------------------------

*Young Justice*

"Gotta love modern weapons tech. Easier for a one armed man to fire a missile launcher than pull on his pants."

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*Seinfeld*

"I think we really need to be in front of the television set. You take TV out of this relationship, it is just torture."

----------------------------

*Cougar Town*

"Anyway, back to the Neighborhood Watch Association. The main goal of the NWA is safety."
"I thought it was to represent Compton. What!"

"And Rosa just up and left for a vacation in Honduras." 
"It wasn't a vacation, her mother died."
"Like she's not gonna see friends when she's there? '_Wah. I miss my mom. Pass the salsa._'"
"That's selfish, insensitive, and racist all at once."

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*The Looney Tunes Show*

"I lived in the city of Metropolis, the very definition of a city."

----------------------------------

*Angie Tribeca*

"Can I see your badge?"
"No you can't. Because I'm wearing bike shorts."
"_I think she said 'badge'_"

-----------------------------------

*Cougar Town*

"Maybe Trav will just skip the ring and put a baby in her. That's what Jellybean would do.... It's no fun when she's not here."
....
"Maybe Trav will just skip the ring and put a baby in Kirsten. That's what Jellybean would do." 
"I totally would!" 
"My life is so much better with you in it."

"Well, then you're betraying your own life's philosophy."
"Never fight short-haired bitches?"
"What?"
"I changed it again. Some stuff went down earlier in the ladies' room."

"One time, I asked this blind lady when her baby was due. Turns out, she wasn't pregnant. And she wasn't even a lady. But, he really was blind, which was good, because when he went to go throw his coffee at me, he totally missed, and he hit a real pregnant lady. And I was like, 'Dude, you're such a jerk! You just hit a real pregnant lady!' And then it turns out she wasn't pregnant either."

------------------------------------

*Seinfeld*

"Kevin and his friends are nice people! They do good things, they read--"
"I read!"
"... _Books_, Jerry."
"Oh... big deal."

------------------------------------

*Family Guy*

"Trust me, you're banging eight strangers who responded to a flyer, at some point you're gonna look out a window and question every decision you've ever made."

------------------------------------

*Justice League Unlimited*

"You wanted Superman?! Well now you've got... The Crimson Avenger and my ex-sidekick..."
"Ex-_partner_."
"Speedy, let's not do this here."

"Can even these four beautiful bruisers stand up to the Amazon powerhouse herself?"
"Anybody got a plan?"
"Yeah, try to stay alive."
"Anybody got a good plan?"

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*American Dad*

"So... do you like music?"
"Do I "like" music? No.. I'm the one person on Earth who doesn't like music."

-----------------------------------------

*Full Frontal with Samantha Bee*

"Rowland says, after interviewing an alleged rape victim, "police often find it was not actually rape. Things just went too far and someone got scared' "
" 'Things went too far and someone got scared'... THAT'S WHAT RAPE IS!"

----------


## Rawr

"Movies don't create Psychos. Movies make Psychos more creative!" *- Scream*

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*Scary Movie*

"Watching television shows doesn't create psycho killers. _Canceling_ TV shows does!


-----------------------------

*Dragon Ball Z Abridged*

Cell: " '_Look at me, I'm Trunks! Please love me, daaad!_' "
Trunks: "... That's a terrible impression of me."
16: "But not inaccurate!"
Trunks: "WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?"

----------


## Member11

Homer Simpson: "This simulation has been brought to you by your brain, a subsidiary of your penis"

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*Young Justice*

"Her ability to control the minds of men is why Alpha is an all-female squad for this mission."
"Oh really? And would you have felt the need to justify an all-male squad for a given mission?" 
"Uh.. ther-there’s no right answer for that, is there? So… Nightwing out."

--------------------------------------------------

*Static Shock*

"Where's Robin?"
"He's with the Titans."
"The who?"
"You'll meet them someday."

----------


## stuck1nhead

"Fear is for the enemies. Fear and bullets, lots of f@&$!?g bullets"
"And you got the king of mayhem, half cannon, sword of justice,. Take this f@#$!r to the holy land and start your own crusade"


Sent from my KYOCERA-E6560 using Tapatalk

----------


## fetisha

" people leave Marco, you have to live your own life" *degrassi the next generation*

" My dad is married he doesn't understands what it feels like to love a woman" *Kenan and Kel*

" Their is no used getting all riled up just because a bunch of idiots give you a hard time, in the end the universe tends to unfold as it should" *Harold and Kumar go to white castle*

ashley banks to donald trump:"Thank you for ruining my life!"
Will Smith to ashley: "Ashley!!!?"
donald trump's wife to donald trump: "What did you do?"
donald trump to his wife:"Everyone is always blaming me for everything."
*The fresh prince of bel air 1989-1995*

"We all been screwed by governor tracy and now I'm going to screw her!! Uh I mean...." *blacksheep*

----------


## Otherside

"Hi! I'm Subway! Eat Fresh!" 

That was a weird as hell episode of community. Product placement at its lowest point ever. 

Sent from my D5803 using Tapatalk

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

> "Hi! I'm Subway! Eat Fresh!" 
> 
> That was a weird as hell episode of community. Product placement at its lowest point ever. 
> 
> Sent from my D5803 using Tapatalk



What about in season 6 with the Honda episode that was all product placement made worse with the fact that it was on Yahoo, where all the commercials were for Honda? It was 30 minutes of Honda commercials good grief. The episode wasn't even that funny.

----------


## Otherside

^I only just got to that episode the other day. Yeah that was worse to he honest. The in depth descriptions of the CR-V was a bit much. 

Sent from my D5803 using Tapatalk

----------


## UndercoverAngel

From Dusk Till Dawn.

Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits em, I don't give a F how crazy they are ::D:

----------


## Member11

"What's the point of going out? We're just gonna wind up back here anyway." — The Simpsons

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*Ash vs. Evil Dead*

"I wish I had my rusty chain, yo!"

"There is no way they are staying here, because they are going to get possessed, and be on the night train to Killadelphia."
"Which stops in Choke-lahoma City and Die-ami."
"That's really good."
"Yeah, I thought you might like it."

"Just let her take your load, _jefe_."

-------------------------------------------

*American Dad*

"Try jogging, you gross bowling pin!"

-------------------------------------------

*Cougar Town*

"I miss being a ho."
"You want back in? Because we'll take you back."

----------


## Member11

The Simpsons: "Lemme give you a life lesson—this isn't your fault, but it's the end of us forever."

----------


## FireIsTheCleanser

*American Dad*

"This neighborhood is too safe since the blacks moved out. David and Michael Black. Two white brothers that killed every Mexican in town."

-------------------------------------------

*Family Guy*

"Peter, what are you doing?"
"Crack."
"... WHAT THE ****??"
"Hey, at least I'm not drinking, Brian."
"Yeah, but this isn't exactly a good substitute. Where'd you get crack?"
"From blacks."
"What?"
"Yeah, right behind Black's Hardware Store. There's a white guy selling it."

----------


## Member11



----------


## Member11



----------


## 1

"A smell, a kind of smelly smell, a smelly smell that smells,smelly"

----------


## Freckles

"You can say goodbye to your fluffy lover boy." -Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

----------


## Cuchculan

Homer J Simpson talking on the phone after getting out of the shower, towel around his waist. 

 ' You'll have to speak up I'm wearing a towel '.

----------


## JamieWAgain

‘Take it to the mattress’
-You’ve Got Mail-
-The Godfather-

----------

