# Anxiety Disorders > Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia >  >  Us Agoraphobics Need A Social Life.

## Denv12

One of the things we are deprived of by agoraphobia is a social life.While the rest of the world are out doing their thing we are home.Not a lot of social contact.Not exactly an ideal candidate for a relationship. How can we improve that part of our lives? Lets make suggestions.Lets be positive so we can help each other.


At the moment I have a volunteer from a church who is retired.He visits several people including me.
One of the local community services also has volunteers.This year its people doing social work courses in university.

What would help to improve our social lives?

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## Cuchculan

There is actually a dating site for people with anxiety. I kid you not. No idea of the name of it. I wonder how that works. Do they actually meet up or are they happy enough to just have company on the net and maybe the phone? I am sure not everybody is as bad as some of us can be. Some do go out still. I go out for walks and to the shops. Pubs and the likes are out. Not been near one in years. And I am Irish. We are meant to love our pubs.  :XD:  

You would need a person who really understands anxiety and would put no pressure on you. But still work with you in helping you go outside even for a while. Small amounts of exposure at a time. Good person to help you along. Maybe two sufferers helping each other improve their lives. End result is getting back out and having a good relationship.

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## Denv12

An anxiety dating site.Its about time.  I hope you find it.I think we would all like to know about it.

Its the chronic fatigue that keeps me at home not the anxiety.I live with physical exhaustion everyday.I'm in support groups and forums for it too.  I keep looking for people who understand and relate.The ones who want others around other than their own family are harder to find.I keep looking though.

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## Cuchculan

I was house bound for over 10 years. Then I began going out again. Not in the social sense. Don't meet up with people and the likes of that. Just walks or a long cycle. I suppose things I can do without others. Which still means I keep my own company only. The isolation can still be there in that sense. Oddly I think we become set in our ways. It seriously doesn't bother me at all. Like I have accepted it as ' My Life '. Once I get out for a while each day I still feel it is better than what it once was. Which was sitting in a bedroom every day for a decade looking at the walls of the room. Even if you can just get out for small walks. Even to your garden. Maybe plant a few flowers. Anything other than sitting in the house all day.

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## HoldTheSea

I'm not sure I would necessarily call myself agoraphobic- I do leave the house and I do go grocery shopping, sometimes I visit my parents, occasionally I'll go to a bar, I participate in dog shows and dog sports, etc. I also walk my dogs outdoors for an hour or two a day. Once in a blue moon I go to the gym. But my contact with the outside world is very minimal. I also (by choice) live in the middle of the woods. I'm not a shut in but I am kind of a hermit. I don't have a social life.

I would like to get out more often but I have trouble making friends, especially because I'm not particularly young or in school. If anyone has suggestions for socially isolated people to have an easier time making friends, that would be greatly appreciated.

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## Bethie

I've been Agoraphobic since I was 15.  I've had periods of being ok and being able to get out more but they were always short lived.  As lame as it sounds, joining this forum and others like it is a step into a social life for me.  I wish I could have more face to face interaction because I'm actually quite outgoing and not a socially anxious person, but it's just not possible for me at the moment.  I just miss talking to people other than my parents and sister.

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## PinkButterfly

I also have different bouts of agoraphobia this time it is bad without a doubt and I am wondering if I will leave my an ambulance I am guessing yes at this point but if they help then good for me .I am getting therapy over the phone she is amazing so in time I am praying I will be back out.. I am married but if I were single and struggling  I am not sure I would want someone like me lol seriously I don't.

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## Cuchculan

Maybe you should all start making small suggestions of things to do. We did do this before on AZ. Kind of like a challenge to ourselves. Somebody might suggest a library. All those who want to take the challenge try and make it to a library. You keep it simple to begin with. Places you know there won't be that many people. Over time you can build it up depending on the progress of others. But we support and encourage each other back out into life. Might take a month. Might take a year. That is what sites like this one are all about. To help each other out.

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## PinkButterfly

Cuch but first we need to be able to walk out that door and be able to drive not all of us can drive  ::(:  I want to drive so bad and be well physically and mentally and I am sure hoping and praying my therapist now is going to get me up and out just to get my physical health better and get the surgeries done I need then move on from there but maybe I am going the wrong way I don't know but I sure am a mess !! I wish I had never went to the er and found out about my health!! Ughhh I am so sick of this life I really am but I am not ready to give up totally I am trying I really am.  Just stinks not being me for so many years now and the last 2 since mom died have affected me so much worse.

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## Cuchculan

But we build up to the challenge. Getting outside the front door can be the first steps. Nobody is saying it has to be far and for long. If a person stands outside for five minutes, that is a win for them. Not asking them to do that much to begin with. Five minutes outside their own house? You can still see the house. Maybe a small walk on your own road. Still keeping the house in sight. Nobody runs before they can walk. It is done slowly over time. Nobody is saying it will be easy. It won't be. It will be a battle. Nightmare to begin with. Small steps still gets you there come the end of the day.

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## PinkButterfly

Thank you Cuch you are right I know I just beat myself up and back when my agoraphobia was the biggest issue and no physical health problems I got Link and he helped me so much I knew I had to walk out that door or clean up his poop and pee so I did it and I sure cried and threw up and shook really bad but each day it got easier then I started driving slowly a few blocks and then more and more.  I just want to be back to myself years ago but I have got to accept that is not going to happen I have to move ahead instead not backwards.

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## Cuchculan

That is exactly what is all about. Taking those first steps. Easier to stay in the house. Give up on things. That though won't solve anything at all. Thus we used to post daily / weekly challenges for those who wanted them. Not everybody could do them every week. That was no problem at all. The challenge would remain till those involved could manage it. Just outside the house would be the easiest start. Standing at the front door even. Be amazed at the results. To the point were some begin to do bigger and better things.

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## PinkButterfly

I opened the front door today because fedex came so I stood there just looking around outside not a lot to really see because we live on a street that is just not really nice but the weather is pretty warm to me but just smelling some air helped me now if I would like to go out on the back deck but My Furbaby uses it as a Poop Deck I am not kidding so I can not get out there he is just not well enough to even go down the ramp my hubby built for me and my furbaby but wow he built a 5 mile ramp!! I am not kidding you need benches to set down on because you go out to the left then make a right then down make a left then down and make a right!! I know he had to do what he had to do but I would rather have the old deck back but he never listens to me lol so nothing I can do about it now.  Smelling air just made my day and of course my Therapist .

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