I've had anxiety for most all of my life, and I've been on Zoloft for 9 years. It's worked very good for me, I've just adjusted doses with my doctor's consent only a few times in the past. I've never had actual therapy, but I talk everything over with my mom, and I try to teach myself how to overcome things. I lost my dad less than two weeks ago, and my anxiety has been CRAZY and panic attacks have been happening (although everything was perfectly under control before this happened). My question, is does anxiety and all of these overwhelming thoughts get better as time goes on? I've thought about talking to my doctor about upping my doseage of Zoloft or even getting a therapist, but since things were okay before this, do you think if I give myself a bit more time to cope, this will start to get better without that? Like I said, I talk about my feelings with my mom, I'm already on 100mg of Zoloft, and I'm trying to teach myself healthy coping mechanisms. So do you think I'll be okay? I just need some extra reassurance. Thank you all so very much.
Sorry to hear about your father. I can recall when I lost my own father. It is hard at first. Very hard. We have a mixture of emotions. Our loved one is gone. As simple as that. We won't ever see them again. These are the initial thoughts that go through the head. Plus we have your mother there as well. I am sure she is hurting too. I am sure you are also thinking of her. As she would be thinking of you. Grief has no time limits. We all deal with it in our ways. There is no set rules as to how we must deal with it. Whatever is best for you, that is exactly what you will do. Be that tears. Be that writing down words. You might even want to scream. Just to get it out of your system.
My own father has been dead close on 13 years now. It is different these days. I can look back and smile at the memories. How long does this take? Again it can vary from person to person. I had to become the man of the house. It might sound bad or even cold, but life has to go on. Hard as that might seem right now. It has only been a few weeks for you. Things are still very raw. With time we find we can look back and think of happy memories. To begin with they might make you cry. Nothing wrong in that at all. Like if your father smoked a pipe. Had a favourite song. You get the smell of tobacco or hear that song, his memory will jump straight into your head. It can happen at the strangest of times as well. Just small things that always remind us of that loved one. But with time we smile instead of cry.
It is not that we don't ever wish they were still with us. We will always wish that. But once we accept their death and learn there is nothing we can do to change anything about that now, we take the first steps forwards. Hope that doesn't sound too cold to you. But I simply accepted my father was gone. I accepted nothing I could do could change that. I still missed the man. But in accepting those things I was letting him go in the sense of grief. His memory will always be with me. But he is dead. I can say that now. I could say that for a few years now. Because I accepted it. For the record he had a heart attack at my feet. We were the only two up. 6 in the morning. Did keep him alive till the ambulance got here. We knew he would not recover. He was all but dead already. I had that side of things to deal with too. I accepted I done all I could to keep him alive. Faith took over. Out of my hands. I am sure there was nothing different you could have done to change the outcome of what happened to your father. These things are out of your hands too. Once you learn to accept such things you will begin to heal within.
Remember it will take time. There is no time limit. There are no set ways or rules as to how you have to go about things. Some days you will feel sadder than others. Keep a journal even. Write all your thoughts down. If that means writing a final letter to your father to tell him exactly how you are feeling right now, then do exactly that. Small writing exercise for you. I won't tell you to be strong. Some days you will be stronger than other days too. Those other days you will want to be simply left alone. Time heals all wounds. Trust me on that one. Look how I am writing now about my own father. If what I went through can help somebody else I will share those words a thousand times over. I like writing about him. I can smile when writing the words too. Just let things happen as they do. Good days and bad days. You will get there in the end.
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