I just need to vent

[BrookeAshley]

I'm so angry. I'm so sad. I'm so defeated. I feel like life is beating me down. Between the loss of my baby, the decline in my relationship, money issues, family issues, and worrying for my daughter... I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of people telling me to pray. I can't pray anymore. I'm tired of people telling me that it'll get better. When? I need relief. Gosh I just want to wake up and not have tears rolling uncontrollably down my face on my way to work. I want to smile and mean it. I want to feel safe. I want my life back. I'm afraid I'm not ever going to feel ok. Stress is physically making me sick. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm out of energy. I'm not okay.

[Cuchculan]

If only prayers could fix everything, we would all be out there without any problems at all. It is never that easy. That is life for you. Life right now. You are still hurting within. So every little thing will seem like it is massive. Things you once could have done without any problems at all. They will seem impossible right now. You simply need help on a professional level. Somebody who can look you straight in the eyes and tell you how you can go about dealing with things. Who will be there to help you out when you are at your lowest. Others around you won't fully understand how you are feeling. No matter what you tell them. They simply will never understand. You have to be in it and going through it to fully see how hard it is. Not something a simple prayer can fix. It will take a lot more than that. But don't give up on us. Seek out that help. It will be hard. There will be a lot more pain and tears to come. But that is all part of the healing process. You just need guidance. A direction to be pointed in. Right now you have not got that. It must seem like you against the world and the world, to you, will seem like it is winning. Please try and find that help. No matter how hard it might seem like now, there is always a road back. I won't tell you to pray. I won't pretend it will be easy. It will be the hardest battle of your life. But it can be done. Just need some belief in yourself. You will find that once you find the right kind of help.

[L]

I pmed you xxx

[InvisibleGuy]

Fwiw, you just need to feel what you're feeling right now...I think you need to grieve, and just feel what you're feeling.

Imo prayer is not going to fix everything. And the truth is...it may not get better for a while. I remember the first year after my ex-gf's suicide...and I wish I had someone there for me that told me the truth, instead of trying to sugarcoat everything, and pretend like everything was ok. The truth is, things were not ok. I was not ok. Sometimes I think it's best to just hear the truth, and feel what you feel, it is what it is.

Your story is really heartbreaking. I hope you get help. I would get grief counseling if I was you. I'd do it today. I hope your able to grieve the loss of your child and find some peace and acceptance and try to move on.