I work Monday through Friday, and I have a really hard time with it. Every morning, before I even leave the house, I want to come back home. My anxiety is always really high while at work. My mind feels like it races and it feels like I can't get reassurance here. I know reassurance is bad, but I usually deal with my bad feelings best at home, or at my moms. I feel like a little girl that just wants to be safe at home. Working is just really difficult. But I have to be here. I have to work. I have to pay bills and rent. I need health insurance. Theres no way around it.
So for those in the same boat, how do you handle work? Techniques? I try to keep my mind busy. I visit sites like this in my down time to keep myself going. Some days its not enough. Yesterday I nearly had a panic attack, started crying and shaking. I don't want to keep going like this. I'm barely getting by. I feel like each day I'm hanging on by a thread. I have to wait for my new health insurance before I can see a therapist. This is no way to live. I want to feel happiness, I don't want to be afraid, I don't want to wake up feeling the most awful empty, depressed feeling. I can't live like this anymore. I just cant.