I feel off today. Not right. Nothing I can think of triggered it. I just feel gross and ugly and uncomfortable in my body. I'm tired, and just worn out. I want to go home. I want to hide myself. I don't like how I feel at all. I don't like feeling so self hating.
Question for you. If you stood naked in front of a mirror who would you see looking back at you? What would your thoughts or feelings be about the person you saw looking back at you? Would it be the old version of yourself or this newer version of yourself? This problems of yours only seems new. As in since the whole baby thing. So can we look backwards and ask what changed since then? Apart from putting on the normal few pounds. Most of which you have lost already. Just how I am viewing things is that you are not your own problem. If others around us have problems they can reflect their problems onto us. This fianc? of yours for example. He has shown you less affection since the whole baby thing. Now that is a problem with him. Not with you. But that reflected onto you has you thinking his problem must be you. Straight away you ask yourself is there something about yourself? You go straight to the body and how you look. Thinking he is as he is because maybe you have changed in your body shape. So he has reflected his problems onto you. Now be honest. If he showed you the exact same love and affection today and he did before the whole baby thing, would you still be feeling as you are right now? I don't think so at all. It is his lack of attention in a positive sense that has got you feeling like you do. He is the real problem. Problem in the sense that he has changed how he talks to you. He has changed his gestures of affection. By doing so he has changed you too.
Reply With Quote