My Dad is in the Hospital a few days ago he had a Mild Stroke after more testing his brain showed more than 1 stroke it showed multiple strokes well I am not able to go up and see him due to my own physical health and mental health mostly physical thanks to a bad back and a messed up head from brain surgery . I do feel guilty, sad, agitated and more because I was always there with him through everything in life I am 52 and he will soon be 73 he had a massive heart attack back in 2002 I stuck with him but he treated me like crap! he made me cry and shut the tv off the lights off which took me back to younger years with him we didn't have running water so we used an outhouse and we live in a small trailer I had to wash off in the sink carry the water from the spring and do laundry on a wringer washer and more because it was on my grandparents farm which was okay I didn't mind working I do think it made me OCD and more but it did make me one awesome worker..
Later on down the road I had been in an abusive marriage so I left and needed a place to stay so me and my son went to dads and yes he did have running water and everything which he got as soon as I left home after I graduated ...anyway while me and my son where there HE SHUT THE PHONE OFF THE ELECTRIC OFF AND TREATED US HORRIBLE.. I was suffering bad but I do know by what he done made me get up and find a job and make sure my son was taken care of so I did just that but man did it hurt once again!!!
So here is the problem Dad doesn't listen he does what he wants and then gets mad at me over his own health its his fault that he abuses meds and doesn't see his doctors and lies non stop but I love him with all my heart and soul but I am not well at all myself and he will say JUST WAIT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND I do Understand very well but he keeps acting like I haven't I have had several surgeries and I have been through a lot myself but what am I suppose to do?? I can NOT WIN!! I Watched my Mom die my Step Dad die and My brother died and then I have been with dad so many times HE NEVER ONCE CAME TO SEE ME WHEN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL He did show up when I was in a car wreck and then said he had to go visit someone else and left ! He dropped my mom off when I was born he didn't even go in and mom was only 17!! He wasn't there when my brother was born when mom was 16 she was alone .. I forgive Him I do but why does he want to keep me upset and start things and then act like a child and drive me crazier than I am lol... ughhhh
I am not young and healthy and he just doesn't seem to get that and he tells people he liked to get me agitated! why?? why would you keep your child at any age upset??
I want to go back in time and change a lot of things but cant I want to bust my dads butt and tell him to grow up and stop being so bratty! I am scared of losing him and I will freaking lose it like I did losing my other family members..
GOD HOLDS ME UP PRAISE HIM !!! I AM TELLING ANYONE WHO READS THIS IF YOU NEED A CRUTCH A LIEFLINE ITS GOD!! ALL THE WAY!!
I don't proof read and I don't worry about grammar lol as most know. .
God Bless you all , VENT OVER! lol