I never actually introduced myself before so even though I?ve been posting on here for a while I figured that I would make a thread in this subforum.
I?m a nice person but I have a bad personality and this causes all sorts of problems for me. For one, people rarely like me. A second is that I always am pretending to be someone else instead.
Even in the past when people liked me, I push them away because I get anxious in social situations and have trouble communicating. I find it much easier to pretend to be someone else and then to act like I don?t want to talk to them. Also, since I don?t text anyone first, eventually people give up with me.
Now I have no friends, and I?m not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand I feel terrible because human beings aren?t meant to be solitary creatures, on the other hand the thought of spending time with another person sounds exhausting and troubling. Lately I?ve been more interested in changing my mind rather than getting a friendship which is pointless anyway since someone with no friends and not in school can?t make friends if they have SA. In particular I?m trying to increase my empathy, so that when someone says that something bad happened, I feel bad for them, and when they say something good happened, I feel happy for them. Currently I don?t feel anything either way. Another thing im trying to do is to be honest and open, and not to act like I?m different than I am.