Is work-anxiety a common issue among us? What?s your experience?
I am someone who's had bad experiences in losing everything, as well as fear of failure and being a burden. Especially having applied at different jobs in the past for months without success.Enough slip ups or one big slip up at work could mean losing my income, home, car, at worst going homeless. I always feel like people like me at first and then I get to be too much to handle and then I get disliked.
Jobs or anything where someone is dependent on me causes me huge amount of anxiety. My mind always loops if it's perfect. If it's not I keep re-doing it and often frustrate people. There are times that I've learned I have to take my first try and submit it (and it's actually a decent job) vs. stressing on it for days, weeks, months, and upsetting myself and a lot of other people.
I think people with moderate social anxiety struggle more often than not in the workplace, and those on the severe end simply cannot work at all. There's the actual work - but even the baseline factors like showing up, being on time, being able to communicate effectively (or at all), being under pressure, being criticized or dealing with conflict... And for 40+ hours each week on top of the time we need to decompress and care for ourselves personally.
When working, I was anxious about being competent enough (at first), being able to stand up for myself (and others) and building workplace relationships. I would end up in a place where I'd make 'friends' (in as much as it's a thing at work) but it would take me about 1.5 years to get there. Then there was the issue with authority. As I got comfortable and saw more of how the workplace functioned, I also got progressively more disillusioned and pissed off. I'd leave at a 1.5 - 2 year mark, before I could start organising a workers' revolt, and just when I started to get to know people...
Irvine Welsh called his book 'if you liked school you'll love work' and I think there's something to that. Some of us are just not built for those kinds of environments. Maybe it's all of us.
When I was at school I didn't know what anxiety was. All I remember was being "sick" a lot. There was one time I went home due to being 'sick' again and I recall it had something to do with me being scared of the headmaster.
I always hated work and being scrutinised and judged by others so I just figured out how to be independent and became my own boss but the anxiety still spilled out because I have to deal with clients.
Not long after graduating, the anxiety and depression got so bad I never made it to a "real" job. I've even managed to get burned out while volunteering part-time because I needed more down-time to bounce back than I got.