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  1. #1
    Bbrate's Avatar
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    Can you be a good mum if you have anxiety?

    I?m almost out of my first trimester but have been experiencing horrible sciatica pain since about 6ish weeks or so. When I went and saw my doctor at 8 weeks he suggested I take ibuprofen for 5 days and stop after the 5th day and said it was only harmful after 20 weeks. I stupidly took a couple for a few days to get some kind of relief (that was weeks ago) not the full 5 days, and I have felt extremely guilty and panicked if this baby is still even alive. At my first appointment we heard the heartbeat (148bmp) and saw baby. I am so so so terrified that here on the 25th at my next appointment that the baby will be gone because of my stupid mistake and doing what I knew is (potentially) harmful.

    I?m especially worried as this is my 2nd rainbow and this is the farthest I?ve ever been in a pregnancy. I feel like a [BEEP] mom already and just hope my baby is alive. It has been tearing me apart thinking I am the reason for another loss or birth defects because I was in pain. I have severe anxiety and depression so I haven?t been able to just ?let this go?

  2. #2
    Total Eclipse's Avatar Happy Sparkles and Coffee
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    Welcome to the site Bbrate! I'm sorry you're having back pain. If they said to stop taking the medicine, stop and call your provider. Explain to them about the pain so they can recommend something safe for you and baby. Please keep us updated on the progression of your pregnancy!

  3. #3
    Ironman's Avatar
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    You can be a good mother with anxiety, but you have to put the fears in their place. Like Total Eclipse said, contact your doctor for any issues you are having. It doesn't sound like anything severe would have happened, as long as you stopped taking the ibuprofen. You were allowed to take the ibuprofen for five days, but you only took it for a couple of days - with everything well before 20 weeks? That's the five month mark. If you were taking it every day, that's not good. I am not sure how far along you are.

    If you heard a heartbeat, it's still there. You don't want to cause yourself more stress than you have to.

  4. #4
    Cage's Avatar
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    Quote Bbrate View Post
    I?m almost out of my first trimester but have been experiencing horrible sciatica pain since about 6ish weeks or so. When I went and saw my doctor at 8 weeks he suggested I take ibuprofen for 5 days and stop after the 5th day and said it was only harmful after 20 weeks. I stupidly took a couple for a few days to get some kind of relief (that was weeks ago) not the full 5 days, and I have felt extremely guilty and panicked if this baby is still even alive. At my first appointment we heard the heartbeat (148bmp) and saw baby. I am so so so terrified that here on the 25th at my next appointment that the baby will be gone because of my stupid mistake and doing what I knew is (potentially) harmful.

    I?m especially worried as this is my 2nd rainbow and this is the farthest I?ve ever been in a pregnancy. I feel like a [BEEP] mom already and just hope my baby is alive. It has been tearing me apart thinking I am the reason for another loss or birth defects because I was in pain. I have severe anxiety and depression so I haven?t been able to just ?let this go?
    You didn't have to take the full 5 days a few days was more than safe. They where saying up to 5 days.

  5. #5
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    I wasn't diagnosed with GAD prior to having my child. Then I was diagnosed with a pretty severe postpartum depression, which manifested in over-anxiety. The therapist that I am working with indicated that I might have GAD all along, after she saw the reaction that I had postpartum AND identified the fact that I was always high strung and had the tendency of being easily stressed by the slightest adversity and quick-tempered. My kiddo is great and we help each other.

  6. #6
    Cuchculan's Avatar
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    The baby might be the best thing that ever happened to you. You will have a new child to focus on. To care and love. Have no doubt you will make an amazing mother.
    The Lovable Irish Rogue

  7. #7
    Ironman's Avatar
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    Well, I for one, am happy for her.

    I can't be a good mum if I have anxiety.....or even if I don't!

  8. #8
    Bbrate's Avatar
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    The baby hr is ok and everything the doctor said is progressing normally. I just need to get my anxiety under control.

  9. #9
    CeCe's Avatar Diamond Girl
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    Quote Bbrate View Post
    The baby hr is ok and everything the doctor said is progressing normally. I just need to get my anxiety under control.
    It sounds like your going to be a great mum!!!!

  10. #10
    rabidfoxes's Avatar
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    The "am I a bad mother?" questions come up a lot. If it's not anxiety, then it's because the kid had some Coco Pops for dinner or because you forgot to pick them up from school on time or because you were tired and snapped at them. There are no perfect parents, it's a constant learning experience and like any learning experience it involves mistakes. People love to be hard on mothers: "she's a bad mother", "she should do X better", "what sort of mother are you", etc. A mother can be absolutely exhausted and falling over herself trying to do the right thing 24/7 and people will still criticize, by contrast a father just needs to pick up the child up and everyone's falling over in admiration within seconds (I'm not dissing the fathers here, in fact many considerate and insightful fathers have pointed out the same thing). You'll have to navigate that environment which means you need to cut yourself some slack and not let that negative voice in your head join the chorus.

    You'll be a good mother even if you're an anxious mother. My mother is an anxious mother and whilst I learned a lot of my anxiety from her which made my life more difficult, as I get older I realise just how hard and impossible her job was in the first place. A mother just can't win. You can only do your best and your best is going to be good enough.

    I recommend this song.

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