Random Thought of the Day

[Nyctophilia]

Not only did cultures historically view men and women as a team, but in the case of the Greeks, they believed men and women were originally part of a whole and were punished by Zeus to be split apart and left wandering the earth in search of each other. I believe this is where the idea of a soulmate comes from. Now this is a strong statement about how important the union between man and woman is! They must have stopped teaching classical writings and thought in school nowadays.

Very biblical.

No That's Plato's Other Half. What he said was really not biblical. I actually almost doubt every account of it I read because it sounds so modern even if it was ancient Greece and 'it was like that' the main clue is that it's a lot more pro male so somewhat an inverse still of modern culture.

https://www.laphamsquarterly.org/eros/platos-other-half

First you must learn what human nature was in the beginning and what has happened to it since, because long ago our nature was not what it is now, but very different.

There were three kinds of human beings, that?s my first point--not two as there are now, male and female. In addition to these, there was a third, a combination of those two; its name survives, though the kind itself has vanished. At that time, you see, the word 'androgynous' really meant something: a form made up of male and female elements, though now there?s nothing but the word, and that?s used as an insult. My second point is that the shape of each human being was completely round, with back and sides in a circle; they had four hands each, as many legs as hands, and two faces, exactly alike, on a rounded neck. Between the two faces, which were on opposite sides, was one head with four ears. There were two sets of sexual organs, and everything else was the way you?d imagine it from what I?ve told you. They walked upright, as we do now, whatever direction they wanted. And whenever they set out to run fast, they thrust out all their eight limbs, the ones they had then, and spun rapidly, the way gymnasts do cartwheels, by bringing their legs around straight.

I won't quote the whole thing cause it's long but key parts:

"Now here is why there were three kinds, and why they were as I described them: the male kind was originally an offspring of the sun, the female of the earth, and the one that combined both genders was an offspring of the moon, because the moon shares in both. They were spherical, and so was their motion, because they were like their parents in the sky.

"In strength and power, therefore, they were terrible, and they had great ambitions. They made an attempt on the gods, and Homer?s story about Ephialtes and Otus was originally about them: how they tried to make an ascent to heaven so as to attack the gods. Then Zeus and the other gods met in council to discuss what to do, and they were sorely perplexed. They couldn't wipe out the human race with thunderbolts and kill them all off, as they had the giants, because that would wipe out the worship they receive, along with the sacrifices we humans give them. On the other hand, they couldn't let them run riot. At last, after great effort, Zeus had an idea.

"'I think I have a plan,' he said, ?that would allow human beings to exist and stop their misbehaving: they will give up being wicked when they lose their strength. So I shall now cut each of them in two. At one stroke they will lose their strength and also become more profitable to us, owing to the increase in their number. They shall walk upright on two legs. But if I find they still run riot and do not keep the peace,' he said, ?I will cut them in two again, and they'll have to make their way on one leg, hopping.'

"Each of us, then, is a 'matching half' of a human whole, because each was sliced like a flatfish, two out of one, and each of us is always seeking the half that matches him. That's why a man who is split from the double sort (which used to be called 'androgynous') runs after women. Many lecherous men have come from this class, and so do the lecherous women who run after men. Women who are split from a woman, however, pay no attention at all to men; they are oriented more toward women, and lesbians come from this class. People who are split from a male are male-oriented. While they are boys, because they are chips off the male block, they love men and enjoy lying with men and being embraced by men; those are the best of boys and lads, because they are the most manly in their nature. Of course, some say such boys are shameless, but they?re lying. It?s not because they have no shame that such boys do this, you see, but because they are bold and brave and masculine, and they tend to cherish what is like themselves. Do you want me to prove it? Look, these are the only kind of boys who grow up to be real men in politics. When they?re grown men, they are lovers of young men, and they naturally pay no attention to marriage or to making babies, except insofar as they are required by local custom. They, however, are quite satisfied to live their lives with one another unmarried. In every way, then, this sort of man grows up as a lover of young men and a lover of love, always rejoicing in his own kind.

"And so, when a person meets the half that is his very own, whatever his orientation, whether it's to young men or not, then something wonderful happens: the two are struck from their senses by love, by a sense of belonging to one another, and by desire, and they don't want to be separated from one another, not even for a moment.

"These are the people who finish out their lives together and still cannot say what it is they want from one another. No one would think it is the intimacy of sex--that mere sex is the reason each lover takes so great and deep a joy in being with the other. It's obvious that the soul of every lover longs for something else; his soul cannot say what it is, but like an oracle it has a sense of what it wants, and like an oracle it hides behind a riddle. Suppose two lovers are lying together and Hephaestus stands over them with his mending tools, asking, 'What is it you human beings really want from each other?' And suppose they're perplexed, and he asks them again, 'Is this your heart's desire, then--for the two of you to become parts of the same whole, as near as can be, and never to separate, day or night? Because if that's your desire, I'd like to weld you together and join you into something that is naturally whole, so that the two of you are made into one. Then the two of you would share one life, as long as you lived, because you would be one being, and by the same token, when you died, you would be one and not two in Hades, having died a single death. Look at your love, and see if this is what you desire: Wouldn't this be all the good fortune you could want?'

"Surely you can see that no one who received such an offer would turn it down; no one would find anything else that he wanted. Instead, everyone would think he?d found out at last what he had always wanted: to come together and melt together with the one he loves, so that one person emerged from two. Why should this be so? It?s because, as I said, we used to be complete wholes in our original nature, and now ?love? is the name for our pursuit of wholeness, for our desire to be complete."

Also the moon again huh? I didn't remember that but that's interesting.

"Now here is why there were three kinds, and why they were as I described them: the male kind was originally an offspring of the sun, the female of the earth, and the one that combined both genders was an offspring of the moon, because the moon shares in both. They were spherical, and so was their motion, because they were like their parents in the sky."

I've removed discussion of this in posts like 2+ times now lol so I actually made a point of copying and pasting this part below of my last post so I'm just going to quote this again my research into rabbit and moon gods from last month:

I did say I was the worst of both worlds.

Speaking of being the worst:



Donnie is a non-binary trans guy confirmed. I would say trans guy but then I wouldn't be allowed to relate to him according to more stupid online rules and he's obviously a cis guy so it's ironic. It was the insanity, time travel and the fact he's talking to a rabbit moreso than the getting overly emotional while talking about not having a dick.

From Videodrome to Donnie Darko, 5 Horror Movies That Give Me Transmasc Vibes

It's not a horror movie is it? It's a psychological thriller with science fiction themes. Their reasons for concluding this are in one case kind of a personal thing about a certain relationship in the film and then they bring up the dick thing of course and just the fact that it's set in a climate of suburban moral panic of 1988 that's relatable to our current time period.

I deleted a post or part of a post? Talking about my research into rabbit gods recently before... I told you it's the insanity lol. I'm definitely going to regret this again later I imagine. But yeah I can actually bend this narrative even more than is obvious:

So I wasn't researching rabbit gods because of this film I was just doing that anyway because I guess... There was a porn audio I liked with a rabbit guy in (and certain conservatives would be thrilled because I know how much they love when people connect sex and transcendental themes) and then I remembered some romance story online I read as a teenager with a vampire who had a harem with a rabbit guy in who I think was his favourite and then I thought about all the music videos I'd been watching lately that had people wearing white face masks and in one of them created by The Birthday Massacre there was a woman with rabbit ears fighting with the dolls wearing white face masks and they both end up headless in the end. Which reminded me of the Jazz Emu video where he ends up headless also with white face masks.

But The Birthday Massacre have a lot of rabbit symbolism on their album art work etc. A lot of musicians were inspired by Alice in Wonderland in the early 2000s and in general even before then so there's a lot of rabbit symbolism in a lot of the music I listened to and in other music. Another female artist who was inspired by feminism and gay culture - it says on her wikipedia page she was inspired by those things and is bisexual herself and she's created a lot of rabbit art work on top of her old band (Jack off Jill,) having rabbit themed songs and also other songs that kind of sound like they were inspired by Alice in Wonderland all on their second album and their first album is called 'sexless demons and scars.'

The YouTube music video 'I'm God.' It's a fanmade video but the music is by Clams Casino (sampling Imogen Heap.) I'd liked this track for a while aesthetically there are two women wearing white face masks that tbh make them seem quite androgynous and I kind of projected a sapphic relationship onto the video but it actually contains clips of a film I haven't watched called Perdues dans New York (1989) created by a director who mostly makes lesbian films including vampires but in this case this film did not include lesbians ironically lol and some reviewer I stumbled on actually said that was a reason not to watch it amusingly but it is also about time travel:

Dear God, I've sat through some bollocks in my time but Perdue Dans New York takes the biscuit. It?s a pretentious, arty, plotless, amateurish collection of largely random ideas which is as boring as it is incomprehensible. The best thing you can say about it is that?s it's only 52 minutes long.

Of course, if you're a big fan of Jean Rollin and his somewhat, erm, distinctive approach to film-making (Requiem for a Vampire, Lips of Blood etc), this rarity will be high on your must-see list and nothing I can say will dissuade you, especially as two ultra-rare early Rollin shorts are included as extras on the UK disc. But I should warn you: there's only one vampire and no lesbians.

This is a basic description of the film:

Two girls discover a magical wooden device, called a Moon Goddess, which allows them to travel through time and space. They imagine they are grown up and see New York City. Meeting again with their memories as old women, after a dreamlike journey of self-discovery, they return to their days of youth.

The moon goddess part is also relevant to some stuff I read about rabbit Gods later btw.



He hadn't anticipated someone being insane enough to 'get it.'

Actually Ted Kaczynski invented a grandfather rabbit God while living in the woods that was entirely unrelated to what I will talk about soon (even though he previously was considering transistioning into a woman before he decided to go live in the woods.... The creepyness continues.)

"This is kind of personal," he begins by saying, and I ask if he wants me to turn off the tape. He says "no, I can tell you about it. While I was living in the woods I sort of invented some gods for myself" and he laughs. "Not that I believed in these things intellectually, but they were ideas that sort of corresponded with some of the feelings I had. I think the first one I invented was Grandfather Rabbit. You know the snowshoe rabbits were my main source of meat during the winters. I had spent a lot of time learning what they do and following their tracks all around before I could get close enough to shoot them. Sometimes you would track a rabbit around and around and then the tracks disappear. You can?t figure out where that rabbit went and lose the trail. I invented a myth for myself, that this was the Grandfather Rabbit, the grandfather who was responsible for the existence of all other rabbits. He was able to disappear, that is why you couldn't catch him and why you would never see him... Every time I shot a snowshoe rabbit, I would always say 'thank you Grandfather Rabbit.' After a while I acquired an urge to draw snowshoe rabbits. I sort of got involved with them to the extent that they would occupy a great deal of my thought. I actually did have a wooden object that, among other things, I carved a snowshoe rabbit in. I planned to do a better one, just for the snowshoe rabbits, but I never did get it done. There was another one that I sometimes called the Will 'o the Wisp, or the wings of the morning. That's when you go out in to the hills in the morning and you just feel drawn to go on and on and on and on, then you are following the wisp. That was another god that I invented for myself."

https://www.thechinastory.org/how-th...-nationalists/

How the Rabbit Became an Emblem for Both Gay Men and Chinese Nationalists

The 'Ballad of Mulan' (circa 400-600), which recounts the story of a young woman disguising herself as a man to take her father's place in the army, concludes with a musing on the difficulties of telling the sex of rabbits:

The male hare wildly kicks its feet,

The female hare has shifty eyes,

But when a pair of hares run side by side,

Who can tell a buck from doe? [1]

The difficulty of distinguishing the gender of rabbits (and hares, for distinction between the two species was not clearly made in the Chinese language) has led some ancient Chinese to believe that rabbits are androgynous. They become pregnant, some thought, by sucking on their fur and gazing at the moon. The Chinese name for rabbit, tu 兔, is said to derive from the idea that rabbits spit out (tu 吐) their young.

By Han Yu's time, the rabbit had been firmly woven into the myth of Chang'e 嫦娥, a female mortal who, after consuming her husband's elixir of longevity, flew to the moon and became its guardian spirit. In some accounts of the story, a 'jade rabbit? 玉兔 -- named for its pure white fur -- was the original inhabitant of the moon; in other versions, it joined the goddess' company out of sympathy for her loneliness. [4]

The social bunnies in The Sims 2 were inspired by Frank from Donnie Darko. They appear when Sims' social motive is very low and there are three blue, yellow and pink. The pink and blue ones will often perform romantic interactions if they're on the lot at the same time because multiple Sims have low social needs, well supposedly. Two bunnies of the same colour are also more likely to be hostile to each other. I don't know what the thought process here was but this is a game where aliens can get male Sims pregnant and all that. The Sims 4 is rated 18+ in Russia now lol and politicians in their government want to make a life sim game to compete with it.

In the spoken dialect of Qing dynasty (1644-1911) Beijing, 'rabbit' became a slur for catamites, male actors (particularly those impersonating women on stage) and more generally, male prostitutes. (Interestingly, the same association between rabbits and homosexuals existed in ancient Rome. [6]) According to one elaborate theory, the association between rabbits and homosexuals came from the fact that, as previously mentioned, rabbit correspond to mao 卯, the fourth of the twelve 'earthly branches'. The mortise and tenon joints commonly used in traditional Chinese architecture, meanwhile, are called sun mao 榫卯. Apparently, the practice of inserting one a piece of wood into a hole in another piece of wood became euphemism for anal sex. [7] A simpler explanation could be that the rabbit was still widely perceived as androgynous, and therefore a suitable metaphor for men who were in some way 'feminine'. In modern-day speech, some still use the phrase 'son of a rabbit' 兔崽子 as an insult.

I told you it's a curse/gift.

Oh and on top of all of this I stick random stuff or used to on my bedroom wall that I like aesthetically and some of my own art work and other random crap. I've actually just noticed now that I have some Japanese cardboard thing with some rabbits peaking out of a bunch of moons and also a plastic thing of the same design. I can't remember where they're from? Probably some food packaging thing from many years ago. says Hangatsu in Kana on one which means half moon. I can't read the kanji though. The kanji for half moon and moon in general isn't there. I dunno I think it's probably an unrelated food company brand anyway. But yeah why wouldn't that be on my wall?

I didn't bother to link some of the stuff in that post but I guess I'll link a few things like The Birthday Massacre video. It's kind of eldritch:



The Jazz Emu video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mgQdF1Dhqg

Some paintings by Jessicka Addams from Jack off Jill. There's also a bunch with moons etc:





She also has some art work of rabbits with tentacles:

https://assets.artworkarchive.com/im...66/20.3_wrqq7q

She's married but her artwork seems lonely and sad mostly.

Lots of rabbits, cats, rainbows and moons.

Uh Patrick Wolf kind of used lycanthropy as a metaphor this way on his first album too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vX0_H2ewmM

And has a song about Selene (moon goddess in Greek mythology)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyP44nj25MY

Walk tall beneath these trees boy
You monolith not scarred by fallout
Us wolves were right behind you and lucifer will never find you
Oh no!

The moon, let it guide you, when Selene comes, we'll alll know how to fight
Dear Fenrir, my saviour, come and eat the ones, we know who taste the best

I know just where you've been boy, i've watched you by the stream
And don't be afraid of the dark
'cos the darkness is simply a womb for the lonely
Swallow your pride and walk with us through the hills and trees
Oh yes! your english eyes they are turning red
I I I I oh I I I I

The moon, let it guide you and i shall find you a home in our heartland
A heart in our homeland
Until the moon is down, until the moon is down

I could never get into werewolves myself though as much as other fantasy stuff.

His stage name was partly a reference to Virginia Woolf though (who wrote Orlando actually lol) he only has a song about To The Lighthouse though:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5zjuLulK_o

Of course I've said before these are all quite common symbols and people tend to think alike throughout time but it's kind of fun/interesting.

But yeah no it's not quite biblical lol.

[Otherside]

My mental health is rubbish during the winter. My mental health is rubbish during the winter, because it starts to get dark at 3pm.

My mental health would be in a much better place if I moved to a sunnier country, or at a minimum, decamped to a sunnier country for those months. Also, the food is nicer in sunnier countries.

On another note, why is it that the tomatoes in those countries actually have flavour, whilst they somehow manage to taste like a watery goo in the UK?

[Nyctophilia]

4chan may be perceptive about certain things, but SA is not involved in this situation. Please don?t spread that misinfo.

At least contrapoints addressed this part because 4chan have been doing this for years now with no real evidence which is fucked up.

I guess I actually have to read this shit

Do you really? Like Seriously, I tried and gave up and I think The Phenomenology of Spirit is amazing. I love long difficult reads.

It just reads like an edgelord who's on way too many shrooms trying to shock you.

Huh then maybe I can read that book. I doubt it though.

Also entirely unrelated to that:

People hate you for saying the simple fact that "femboy" as a state is inherently unsustainable, there will come a point when aging just catches up

I've seen it before, the ones most comfortable being femboys end up as nonbinary trans femmes or GNC cis men.
Probably helps that it's weird to call yourself anything with "boy" or "girl" in it as an adult over 30.

That seems like a seperate discussion. F1nn was also obviously talking about the label femboy disappearing and being replaced by something else and what he said at the end of the video is still kinda irritating but I think it's obvious bait anyway.

bit of a hot take: there are "femboys" that are still "femboys" after 5 years, they're just rechristened as "cross dressers" once reddit pederasts stop finding them hot

Which isn't a value judgment at all, cross dressers are cool, just I think the whole "femboy" schtick relies a lot on youth and that's why it's not sustainable

I'm not super keen on the label cross dresser really I mean if people want to call themselves that it's whatever but the concept of 'crossing' what? They're clothes.

Oh no it's definitely a recapture of transfeminine desire towards masculinist pederasty in most cases.

She keeps saying this. Must be her thesis lol.

I think some femboys exist but for the most part it's a cope for repressed dolls (binary and non-binary) and the culture built up around it is a reactionary pit of neo-roman masculinist pederasty that fetishizes pubescence which attempts to recuperate transfeminine desiring.

Why must left wing twitter people phrase everything like this?

And some of them are just gay and whatever.

I'm doing Metaqueer Marxism in this shit

No lol.

It is objectively impossible to achieve communism without being a lesbian

Stop.

Every disenfranchised young man has one year to stop being disenfranchised or we're doing state mandated sapphic (MLM) relationship for the lot of them; I mean uhaul dates, constant "I love you wars", the sapphic longing. The works. Don't fucking test me

Are you saying other people don't imagine themselves in gay male lesbian relationships in their head?

I learnt there's a word for this an hour ago lol:

Sapphic Achillean

But that's not strictly how my sexuality works actually. More like straight sapphic and gay mixed together at different times and sometimes mushed together at the same time.

Told y'all it was Roman Masculinist Pederasty crosscutting the spiral of time to reach forward through time to re-emerge once again.
#CCRU #Lemurians #Hyperstition #Accelerate

Cannot believe people are still doing G/acc in 2024.

Huh I wonder if jreg has a video on that now lol.... Oh no just that accelerationist accelerationist one he made recently that I watched and the song from years ago. Probably was too niche on it's own.



Lol I just realised he has a clip from former The Book Club channel in his video lol. There's a clip in another one of his videos that I think is funny and wanted to post as a reaction a bunch of times (I mean he's deleted all the videos on that older channel years ago and seems to frequently purge his channels and start over but there's an archive,) but I can't post it most places because later in the video he just starts doing a bunch of [BEEP] imitations lol.

"Kant what the [BEEP] does that have to with anything? You're a hot fucking woman OK that's why we're looking at you no other reason why do you think people look at me? Because I'm a hot woman as well. We're the same that's the real that's the black pill on this YouTube thing OK. You can say fucking anything"

Someone else:

your ability to ignore the nuance of the fact that the argument you are making is also used to try and discourage trans women from transitioning and lock them into a life of repression and sexual subservience to men is, on the other hand, not funny at all.

Is this a realistic scenario in the first place? There seemed to be a bunch of femboys on the subreddit years ago who I remember talking about being attracted to women.

If you remove the label femboy which I've always felt was associated with a narrow anime aesthetic, porn genres, and really only used by gen z, none of this really makes any sense to me as someone who has found androgynous guys attractive sometimes up to the age 40+

You're also still going to age as a woman and it doesn't particuarly make sense to call yourself a woman if your only going on hrt for aesthetic reasons imo but I realise this is a schism between different groups of trans people.

i feel like feminine transmascs would still use the term femboy because, well... yeah

I don't like it personally no because I don't like infantalising labels for myself. Some definitely do. I didn't even like it when people thought I was younger than my age when I was a teenager lol. I found a journal article recently where I was like 16 and like 'I sound like some cringe teen romance thing oh right I'm a 16 year old girl technically.' Sometimes.

Pretty sure Finn forgot about transmasc femboys

Well the weirdo below didn't. I think they're mixing it up with 'trap':

Ngl, I don't get this one

Trans femboys exist. Do you believe they're less valid because you still deep down see trans men as cis women? You're just recreating rigid gender labels, no?

Why would trans men want to identify as 'deceitful gay male rapists of straight men'?

I'm aware there are cooked people everywhere, but "I identify as the transmisogynistic caricature invoked for the trans panic defense" is perhaps where we should be drawing some lines.

Oh I see. Now you all want to draw some lines lol.

I think it's more like this F1nn tweet from days ago:

Oh you're straight? Name every woman.

"He's not trans he's gender fluid". Okay so just so we're clear you can not exist outside of patriarchy's material binary, even if you don't experience it an understanding of how it materially operates needs to exist in order for you to oppose it. You can not identify out of the material reality of this system anymore than the labour aristocrat cum bourgeoise opts back into a priviliged proletarian status by identifying back into it.

If your ideology inteferes with or ignores my existence because it was created in isolation which it does with bigender people who are men and women (not unique to this twitter poster,) then I don't care much really.

And again just a bunch of people being shoved in a virtual room with stuff that really bothers them like white nationalists and raceplay blogs. This discourse can't continue to go on forever and I have similar/overlapping kinks so I'm not really letting that fly either.

[Nyctophilia]

I forgot how dumb and aesthetically irritating [BEEP] discourse twitter was honestly. Everyone's really annoying or terrible on twitter in different ways but it's been a while since I've really read any tweets from that group.

Casual reminder that the terms "men" "cishet people", "white people", and "the rich" also group people in with their oppressors. And yet we're allowed to use them for analyzing power structures? Funny that, almost like there are some we're not allowed to talk about 🤔

"Binary trans" "monosexual" is this desire to group people in with their oppressors a fetish or something

'Casual reminder' is annoying but also yeah most terms group people with some other group like that.

I do not think that "binary trans" people are "oppressing" nonbinary trans people that is legitimately absurd.

Are you capable of viewing anything without ascribing a power structure to it? No you're not.

Maybe there are issues that people from certain groups have, that everyone who isn't part of that group contributes to. Including sometimes towards white cis straight men. Imagine.

It's not necessarily about oppression, it's also about in-group distinction 🤷🏻*♂️

enbies often have different experiences than binary trans folks, that's all

monosexuality is a little different, there is some systemic power in play there

Nope everything is about oppression lol.

is this implying that gay men and lesbians have some kind of systemic power over bisexuals cause thats very silly

It's implying that bisexuals face different issues to homosexuals and have different personality traits on average and shouldn't be grouped with homosexuals or heterosexuals in research. That's the actual problem with erasure you have an invisible group that is also underperforming across almost everything people examine culturally but unlike many groups this group is also erased or absorbed into other groups. It's not just 'oh no that person thinks bisexuality doesn't exist and now I'm not valid.'

It's "oh no until this study bothered to seperate people we thought women were performing better than men and lesbians are actually performing similarly to men and bisexul women are worse still."

One recent study looks to change that. Dr. Joel Mittleman, a sociology professor at the University of Notre Dame, compared the academic performance of straight, gay, and bisexual students.

Gay male students' collegiate success also connects to recent data about their household income, which has exceeded that of heterosexual and lesbian couples in recent years. Sexual orientation, Mittleman argues, reflects something more broadly about gender roles and how [BEEP] students abandoning some traditionally masculine or feminine traits might be linked to behavior and outcomes ? namely, that girls typically do better in school than boys.

Personally I think it's the ADHD-like symptoms (not actual ADHD necessarily,) like distractibility/motivation issues. Same reason bisexuals can't sit in chairs:





I've broken multiple chairs actually. Somehow. I'm tiny so it's not a weight thing. That's what makes it weird.

It's funny because before I saw this meme I was always sitting weirdly in chairs and people sometimes commented on my sitting.

Although previous accounts of boys' underachievement attest to the pervasiveness of homophobia in boys' peer cultures (Epstein 1998; Morris 2012), they are unable to access the perspectives of those most directly targeted by such cultures: gay/bisexual boys themselves. For gay/bisexual boys, the pressure to prove one's manhood through academic disengagement could feel particularly strong, but it also might feel liberatingly absent.

For gay/bisexual boys, precisely those aspects of gender that are socially costly could also be academically beneficial. If locally dominant norms of masculinity denigrate academic investment, then being alienated from those norms--and excluded from the peer groups that promote them--could be tremendously beneficial. Similarly, in contexts where teachers criminalize boys' masculinities from an early age (Ferguson 2000; Rios 2011), boys with less normatively masculine gender enactments might endure peer sanctions but avoid the more formalized sanctions imposed by school officials (Mittleman 2018 ).

I think this is a thing too. Especially in working class environments. This was pretty much a norm in general at my high school (not present in primary school just among teenagers,) that it was uncool to be good at school and if you answered any questions in class you were a 'boffin' lol I forgot about that word. It's cringe itself.

How do you think other people at school would describe you?" Respondents were given seven response options, ranging from "very feminine" through "very masculine."

This chart doesn't seem to have Samara from the ring or Wednesday Addams, goth, satan worshipper. I think people thought I was weird but I don't think I came across that masculine and no one used that word or compared me to guys at that age just like a weird person failing at various beauty norms (since that came up several times including one forced makeover.) One girl insisted many times I was a lesbian but that was just her personal thing.

When I left school I didn't end up picking up my year book because I didn't want to go back to school to get it but my brother got one when he left school and I was looking through it once a long time ago and each of the teachers would write something about their class there and my old form tutor was like 'you guys were so much better than my old terrible class the year before.' And then she was ranting about my class and the students ahahaha.

I think one guy brought a razor blade into school once (to use as a weapon,) but my memory is vague now. There was this really cute girl in another class who was good at art I think and dating him at one point and I can't remember if that was before or after she dated this cute artsy guy with slightly longer hair than the norm (so think emo-ish style but he wasn't quite emo.) weirdly they both had the same first name. But I never understood that because he didn't just have a trash personality he was also not good looking. But eventually according to Facebook she had a kid with some other guy (not either of those guys.) Either in her late teens or early 20s.

Can't have been as bad as my brother's class though (he didn't have her as a form tutor,) one guy who bullied his friend was infamous and eventually got involved in selling drugs and then went to prison for murder cause he shot someone.

Third, unlike the clear divide between gay boys and lesbian girls, bisexual boys and bisexual girls are generally disadvantaged compared to their straight schoolmates. These disadvantages are particularly pronounced for bisexual girls, who report statistically significant disadvantages for every academic outcome considered. For bisexual boys, the pattern of results is more complex. For several outcomes from high school, bisexual boys are almost at parity with straight boys. Nevertheless, something seems to intervene in bisexual boys' lives that prevents them from translating high school performance into postsecondary enrollment. Compared to observably similar straight boys from the same high school, bisexual boys were about 10 percentage points less likely (p < .01) to be enrolled for a bachelor?s degree at the time of the postsecondary survey.

The results in Table 5 show that--over and above binary sex, sexual identity, race/ethnicity, nativity, and parents' socioeconomic status--gender atypicality is a highly significant (p < .001) predictor of students' high school GPAs. Moreover, for gay boys and lesbian girls, gender atypicality goes a fair way in explaining their academic (dis)advantages. Controlling for gender atypicality reduces the magnitude of gay boys' GPA advantage by about 28 percent and lesbian girls' GPA disadvantage by about 14 percent. Nevertheless, both gay boys and lesbian girls still maintain statistically significant, substantively large (dis)advantages even after controlling for gender atypicality. By contrast, controlling for gender atypicality leaves bisexual students? GPA disadvantages almost entirely unchanged. I more fully explore the implications of these results in the Discussion section.

For lesbian/bisexual girls, to the extent that students construct academic engagement as feminine, an internally felt aversion to "girliness" may encourage some to view school skeptically. This internal feeling could find external reinforcement in how lesbian/bisexual girls are treated by school officials. If teachers see lesbian/bisexual girls as enacting masculinity, this could make them prime targets for the "bad girl" penalty identified by previous research. This risk could be especially high for Black girls, who are already stereotyped as masculine by White authority figures (Ispa-Landa 2013; Jones 2010). In this way, LGB identities could be doubly disadvantaging for girls: both socially risky and academically costly.

Uh I don't think it's that simple all the time. I think a lot of these norms come from joining subcultures. Like alternative subcultures are mixed on how they view education. Some kind of promote certain forms of education and creativity, but also denigrate school and authority figures others are kind of nerdy and promote education and knowledge of tech - the balance always varies though. Creative people also don't tend to do well in school. Then you get messages like this (just my generation of course):



Better homes and safety-sealed communities
Did you remember to pay the utility?
Caution, police line, you better not cross
Is the cop or am I the one that's really dangerous?
Sanitation, expiration date, question everything
Or shut up and be a victim of authority

I think this is about school I owned this album but didn't listen to it as much as Kerplunk and their other albums:



And I'm looking back now
At where I have gone wrong
And why I could not seem to get along
My interests are longing
To break from these chains
These chains that control
My future's aim

I sit in the state of a daydream
With all of your words flying over my head
Even more time gets wasted
In a daze

The lead singer of this band was bisexual and I think they attracted bisexual people in their audience to some extent because of this like with the emo genre where there was that stereotype although I think most guys in bands were straight and most people in these subcultures were either straight or didn't label their sexuality.

Very political music:



So that band did have an impact on me when I was like around 14/15 or something. B.Y.O.B espcially. I was creating art work with their song lyrics lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUzd9KyIDrM

And the music of the early 2000s had a big impact on millenials relationship to war as well.

Then as you go through the late 90s and 2000s you get a lot of music about war and terrorism and fear politics and school shootings in the US started to influence music etc. And this live performance and his opening message is very illustrative of the mood of that era so I think this is a really important historical video too:



Song references 7/7 bombing and the backlash:



edgy songs again with similar themes (Billy Talent River Below):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJDjLin2W5E

When 9/11 happened I was a bit younger and I did have an American teacher that year so it came up but I don't for example remember where I was when I heard about it. But when 7/7 happened in the UK I was in English class when I found out and remember that and when I was looking through my old journal the other day I found a post about that when I was 14 which is cringe also I could never spell well etc and no spell checker lol:

Recently I feel as if I'm in some kind of twighlight zone situation. I heard about the London bombing which I wasn't to shocked about because I knew something like that would happen soon. After this however I found out that they suspected some car in Birmingham had bombs in it and in Leihgton Buzzard. I live in Luton which is where they found a car with bombs in by the train station and my mum said she swore she heard bombs going off from our house (this would be the controlled bombs to get rid of the bombs.) The thing that seems unreal to me is how it's all happening so fast. I may sound really over the top but I'm worried I might die soon or that someone I care about might. -sigh-

They will not stop me living my life though! That will never happen.

Why did I assume it would happen lol? I mean the political climate and various cultural tensions at the time were crazy but it's not like I was paying that close attention most of the time and not sure what my thinking was based on now. Also they did find bombs there it was in the news but I don't remember hearing anything and not sure if my mum actually did or just imagined that. Also by 'controlled bombs' I mean explosion.

I like how I alternate between not giving a [BEEP] and then being overly dramatic 'I might die soon'

I still kind of have those modes though. It's like this:



ALSO CNN:

July 12, 2005 - More than a dozen unexploded bombs are found in a car at Luton station in north London, sources tell CNN. July 13, 2005 - Three of the four suicide bombers are identified as Shehzad Tanweer (Aldgate), Hasib Hussain (Tavistock Square), and Mohammed Siddique Khan (Edgware Road).

STOP DOING THIS AMERICANS etc.

It's not in London mate. It's not even ambiguous Luton is not under the mayor of London, not in greater London etc. This is a bit like saying New Jersey is New York but even further removed because parts of New Jersey are part of 'greater New York' England is much smaller country so the psychological relationship to space is very different lol like:



I haven't seen my friend who lives in Scotland in years lol. It takes 3-4 hours or so by train to get from Bedfordshire to Manchester and you can travel through Coventry, Birmingham, Manchester, Milton Keynes, Nottingham, Luton, Sheffield, etc in the space of several hours and they're all lightyears away from each other.

I do think people were concerned at the time though. I remember I went to London with my social circle and one close friend around that time either 2005 or 2006 and one girl wasn't allowed to go and I think she brought up the attacks or something. I always thought the underground was kind of creepy and had horror movie vibes even before this because of the sounds and the fact it's underground and everything it's a weird environment. I talked about this before as well but I started writing a story which included a magical underground train in the early 2010s lol.

Found this thread lol:

Places that give you a bad vibe?

What are some places that give you a bad vibe in London? Maybe not even for any specific reason, they just make you feel unsettled/creeped out ?

Getting away from the dangerous and threatening and into the uncanny.

The City very late at night. Absolutely empty. Nobody actually lives there at all. Very weird liminal vibe.

The Hawksmoor churches in the East End. Always seem oddly out of scale with their surroundings with weird angles. Lovecraftian.

Farringdon. Spooky as fuck.

The crossbones graveyard in Borough is pretty eerie.

*takes notes about Hawksmoor*

Loved walking from Leicester Square to Waterloo in the early hours of the morning lol due to disruption on the underground but there were still some homeless people around I think.

https://www.exutopia.com/an-occult-p...ndon-churches/

An Occult Psychogeography of Hawksmoor's London Churches

There was a time when I used to hate London. I thought of it as a compound of tourist hotspots, rude locals and (admittedly quite useful) airports. Back then, I didn?t have much interest in graphic novels, either. My opinion on both has since reversed, and it?s in no small part due to the incomparable work of speculative historical fiction that is From Hell; written by Alan Moore, and brought vividly to life through the artwork of Eddie Campbell.

I think it's possible to at least somewhat improve your view of any place by changing the narrative of the space. This doesn't solve the problem of other people, objective reality of what's there etc but it's the one thing you have control over.

Jack the Ripper, Alan Moore & The Art of Psychogeography

Essentially, the result is an occult psychogeography of London; a study not of stones, but rather a very personal exploration of the meanings etched into them? and the subtle yet pervasive effect these have on the people who live in their shadows. ?Encoded in this city?s stones are symbols thunderous enough to rouse the sleeping Gods submerged beneath the sea-bed of our dreams,? the fictional Gull tells us.

He does seem to try to do that yeah. He was talking about this in a recent interview I watched a year or so ago and how we 'need more ghosts.' Because a lot of places are dead and lifeless. Also trying to do that with his town Northampton more. I wasn't aware of that term 'pyschogeography' though.

I think it's especially difficult now because everything is online.

I am quite interested in that concept of environments and what Alan Moore was talking about in the interview though but again if you spend more time online then it's easy to say 'spend less time online' but people won't so that has to be factored in.

Psychogeography is the exploration of urban environments that emphasizes interpersonal connections to places and arbitrary routes. It was developed by members of the Letterist International and Situationist International, which were revolutionary groups influenced by Marxist and anarchist theory as well as the attitudes and methods of Dadaists and Surrealists.[1][2][3]

Oh it reminds me of the other thing. What was it called. They had a bunch of tangential stuff. Derive yes there's an app based on this but have not tried it yet:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A9rive

The derive (French: [de.ʁiv], "drift") is an unplanned journey through a landscape, usually urban, in which participants stop focusing on their everyday relations to their social environment.[1] Developed by members of the Letterist International, it was first publicly theorized in Guy Debord's "Theory of the Derive" (1956).[2][3] Debord defines the derive as "a mode of experimental behaviour linked to the conditions of urban society: a technique of rapid passage through varied ambiances."[4]

The derive's goals include studying the terrain of the city (psychogeography) and emotional disorientation, both of which lead to the potential creation of Situations.

Randonautica (a portmanteau of "random" + "nautica") is an app launched on February 22, 2020 founded by Auburn Salcedo and Joshua Lengfelder (/l?nɡf?ldɛr/). It randomly generates coordinates that enable the user to explore their local area and report on their findings. According to its creators, the app is "an attractor of strange things," letting one choose specific coordinates based on a certain theme.[1] It has gained controversy after several reports on the app generating coordinates, seemingly coincidentally, where disturbing things were present.

I was contemplating using that the last time I went to London but didn't but might in the future.

as with all exploration apps people ended up finding a bunch of dead bodies like Pokemon Go. So that's mostly what came up while searching about it before lol! I think in this case that was played up a little by some people to make it seem more spooky/edgy/interesting etc. On a large enough scale it becomes increasingly likely of course that that will happen to someone.

I read this page before but it's interesting:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterotopia_(space)

Heterotopia is a concept elaborated by philosopher Michel Foucault to describe certain cultural, institutional and discursive spaces that are somehow "other": disturbing, intense, incompatible, contradictory or transforming. Heterotopias are worlds within worlds, mirroring and yet upsetting what is outside. Foucault provides examples: ships, cemeteries, bars, brothels, prisons, gardens of antiquity, fairs, Muslim baths and many more. Foucault outlines the notion of heterotopia on three occasions between 1966 and 1967. A lecture given by Foucault to a group of architects in 1967 is the most well-known explanation of the term.[1] His first mention of the concept is in his preface to The Order of Things, and refers to texts rather than socio-cultural spaces.[2]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-place

Non-place or nonplace is a neologism coined by the French anthropologist Marc Auge to refer to anthropological spaces of transience where human beings remain anonymous, and that do not hold enough significance to be regarded as "places" in their anthropological definition. Examples of non-places would be motorways, hotel rooms, airports and shopping malls. The term was introduced by Marc Aug? in his work Non-places: introduction to an anthropology of supermodernity.[1]

That seems to be mostly overlapping with liminal spaces.

https://artwarepbk.nl/onderzoek-project/non-place/



I like how this is kind of making me think of an office space combined with a parking lot.

Website is in Dutch so have to translate it.

As cities expand and grow towards each other, common ground is slowly but surely emerging along the external borders. It is those industrial areas, shopping malls, airports, hospitals and business parks that are creating strange new centers all over the world and that have much the same insignificant character. Aug? takes the airport as a primeval model for his theory of non place. Anyone who finds themselves in such a place never knows exactly where they are. It could be somewhere in Africa, Asia, America or Europe?

Marc Auge then describes the Non Place as a place that is designed to be passed through and that does not challenge 'taking up space' or 'owning one's own place'. It is a place that people commit to for a shorter period of time for reasons other than the place itself. One of those reasons could be that the place is a passage, access to something else, but not only in the sense of physical movement from one thing to another, but also in a mental sense.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgelands

Edgelands is a term for the transitional, liminal zone of space created between rural and urban areas as formed by urbanisation.[1] These spaces often contain nature alongside cities, towns, roads and other unsightly but necessary buildings, such as power substations or depots, at the edge of cities.[2]

This is a fun rabbit hole.

Thank you annoying twitter people. Even though this is really just my brain being chaotic and not staying on point lol.

Also I looked at some images of those churches and wasn't really getting the vibe but it's probably going to be more obvious in person if at all. Also it's often better to stumble on things by accident. Like one time in probably early 2020 (just before covid,) me and my brother found this underground area - Leake Street Arches - near Waterloo station that was full of graffiti and insanely cool by accident. It's actually kind of a famous spot but we had no idea it was there so that was cool.

Also going back yeah a lot of music was also gen x's personal issues and struggles of their peers etc in song lyrics:



Jamie had a chance, well, she really did
Woah-oh
Instead she dropped out and had a couple of kids
Woah-oh
Mark still lives at home 'cause he's got no job
Woah-oh
He just plays guitar and smokes a lot of pot

Which also became millenials problems. Of course bands like MCR etc took that further and this started with post-punk again I think.

Let's go to the mall and cause chaos:





Are you ready to be liberated
On this sad side city street?
Well, the birds have been freed from their cages
I got freedom and my youth

My name is Brody, I'm from Melbourne
Fitzroy Melbourne, Fitzroy Melbourne
I grew up on Bell Street, then on Bennett Street
My mum kicked out my dad for battery

Found a way, found a way
She found a way out of spiritual penury
Working single mother in an urban struggle
Blames herself now 'cause I grew up troubled

It hit me
I got everything I need
It hit me
I got everything I need

Freedom is kind of a recurring ideal obviously.

This girl is drawing in class and not listening lol (I have a memory of being yelled at for this at age 5 or so which seems insane)



I kind of can't talk about this period without bringing up Marilyn Manson I guess:



But I imagined this song was about by my bully when I was younger. I love Deftones.



OK you get the idea though.

That was mainstream stuff too. It's all kind of teenage edgy stuff or 'question authority' etc. Some of this music was what I was listening to a lot in my early teens especially lol. I got more into stuff like The Cure and Patrick Wolf from about the age of 16. I point this out because if you're that much of an outcast your cultural norms will come from the internet and music and now video games. This is especially true today obviously (universal probably now,) but started with my generation in the early 2000s. (I mean the music thing started decades ago but the internet aspect the 2000s.)

It's interesting to compare that to like the music and messages that people might have listened to in the 1980s like this song below but Rush are a 1970s band that continued making music decades later and the 1980s and the bands that got famous then were already very into this culture with post punk so you have to go back to the 60s and 70s to get more optimism generally but the comments on this music track I think are kind of revealing:

35 years later, this song still inspires me. Every time I see a rocket launch I think of it. How many of us Rush fans grew up to be engineers, scientists, or techies of some sort? These three guys aren't just rock stars; they actually inspire people to do cool stuff with their lives.

Absolutely science rules BSEE University of Colorado 2002, thank you HR

They still inspire me to learn and strive to be the best I can at what ever I am doing and to understand that there is always room for improvement. Nobody is perfect but anyone can be great as long as you have drive and an open mind!

I went from a pest control guy to a mechanic/machinist on subs so I can agree with this. Something about science versus mother nature is always so inspiring. I've also played bass since I was 14 and trying to get the Geddy chops down... Something about them just hits all the right spots for me. Love that band from up North!

Almost 45 years later I'm a Associate Consultant for BP with a BSIT in Computer Science and a MSIT in Cybersecurity. NP inspired me to be a better player and he taught me that you could be smart and still have a primal urge to play drums.

They inspired me to be pilot... Thanks Rush!

Unfortunately bands like this have a bunch of pretentious fans/comments which you can see in the comment section too but not going to go into that lol. Someone felt the need to compare the song to Beyonce for some weird reason.

Well TBH I love RUSH and am sitting here Jobless and about to lose my internet, [BEEP] happens.

lol as a counterpoint I suppose.

I think a lot of Green Day's music was more upbeat and I still look back on that now and then with nostalgia. I also find Cradle of Filth and their aesthetic very nostlagic even though at the time I only listened to a small amount of their songs. It reminds me of Camden again lol (everything reminds me of that in different ways because there's a diverse range of alternative stuff there or was,) independent shops with horror movie memorabilia in. And my temporary fixation with the Hellraiser films. And also I hung out with this boy a few times at my house who was friends with my brother who introduced me to this band and also maybe the Tenacious D Tribute video which was very funny at the time.



But the culture a lot of boys had in my school I'm not even going to call it masculine it's really just thug culture. And some of them are doing it somewhat ironically (which I don't really care about that would by hypocritical,) and some of them are actually violent and get involved in criminal activity later on. I do think school is terrible in general the way it works by putting a bunch of kids together and forcing them to socialise when they're very different people and it works like prison, and that it also punishes creativity. I think the entire education system should be overhauled actually. But this particualr subset of masculine culture is just dumb and violent.

I think part of the reason this one guy thought I was more masculine in uni was because (although most of the people I hung out with then were working class still or lower middle class,) it was an envirnoment that has norms that are of a higher class and he was of a higher class background. The higher up the class ladder you go the more feminine the culture is seen to be and vice versa for some reason. So by my home town standards I was posh by some people's standards because I didn't adopt the kind of urban social persona. But then when I went to uni people commented on that in the other direction. So you also have to factor in class based norms as well.

And it's weird but going to uni was ultimately a kind of non-conforming act lol especially what I chose to study. I mean I'd always wanted to do it (I remember thinking about this as a young kid,) and by that point that was the subject I'd decided on. But before uni I was surrounded by people especially boys who 80% just didn't care about education or what they were studying etc. Even my dad tried to talk me out of studying what I did initially and tbf it didn't work out lol. I don't regret it at all now though and I think uni is a much better experience than school overall.

I also struggled a lot with internal motivation and attention due to probably undiagnosed issues that have been there even as a young kid really so my grades were about average or just below rarely just above. I graduated uni with the lowest grade you can get. This could have been worse of course.

So yeah people get so hung up on this idea of the problem being that people don't think you're valid and I know that's annoying but actually what happens is you don't understand yourself, you don't understand why you end up in the situations you're in, other people don't understand you because you're invisible (sort of - they often notice tangential things like say dyed hair.) Everyone tries to force you to be 'normal (tm)'

[Nyctophilia]

Something that I don't really see anyone bring up but seems to be at the root of a lot of online discourse/issues between transmasc and transfeminine cultures is that over the past several decades a large chunk of masculinity has been dragged into femininity or 'femaleness.' (or well plenty of people talk about this but I mean specifically with a focus on trans people.)

But trans men didn't really get the memo lol.

This works well for trans women to some extent because it means as long as they have feminine bone structure or can pass as reasonably female they get to be feminine but clearly a lot of non-conforming women, trans men and certain non-binary people end up having issues with this. Many people they look up to as icons of alternative masculinity end up coming out as trans women or transfemme, trans women accuse trans masc people of 'stealing their culture' or appropriating it or wanting to be trans women etc.

These kind of ridiculous arguments:

Why would trans men want to identify as 'deceitful gay male rapists of straight men'?

I'm aware there are cooked people everywhere, but "I identify as the transmisogynistic caricature invoked for the trans panic defense" is perhaps where we should be drawing some lines.

I feel like it's hard to 'rape' those guys when they're sending you private messages saying they Spoiler: want to suck your dick after you told them you weren't interested already and actually blocked them on another website because they weren't accepting that and you don't even have a dick and they know that because you posted about being non-binary and genetically female all the time and they follow all your posts.

I dunno they didn't really try to communicate with me in any other way before getting to that point and didn't send me pictures of themselves or anything so there was no basis to form attraction based on either personality or appearence. I had nothing to work with.

I don't think femboys are a central example of this type since I don't think most trans men or non-binary people and certainly over a certain age have any interest in using the label femboy and femboy is more associated with a specific infantalised image as I said and also this which doesn't appeal to everyone (although I think a lot of feminine trans guys are bottoms and/or submissive sexually from what I noticed anecdotally):

What do you think the implication of femininity being conflated with submission means about femboy culture?

Your a sub because you think femininity has to mean submission

I'm a sub because I know femininity looks better with domination

But something similar often occurs anyway.

The femboy discourse specifically though gets really insane like this trans woman is considerably older I think actually but the kids are not OK:

The femboys are developing Femboy Nationalism because the bodies of women are no longer theirs to control.

oof. This is why I don't trust c*s male femboys, because the worst part is that she's right 💀 I've seen this happen way too many times. Traitors, every single one of em. I'll respect their new gender but god, it sucks to keep losing femboys either to this bullshit or twink death

You mean aging lol? I think the ultimate irony like some kind of cosmic irony is a while back people were making memes about Leonardo Dicaprio the way he looked when he was in Titanic and the Terminator films (wait wrong guy lmfao. That was Edward Furlong. I'm leaving this in because that's hilarious. They're all one person to me,) and comparing it to now and then discussing his constant switching to younger girlfriends that's become a meme too he can't date anyone over age 25 (supposedly.) That is funny. He became the chaser (of young people,) now. It's working for him though because he's straight and succesful. Well the media aren't happy at all because you're supposed to find older women more attractive or something.

I find older women attractive. In the film contact Jodie Foster was- oh wait I'm 33 too. Never mind.

Oh that's right I'm old now.

Leo is 49 so I'm not sure what age women he should be dating.

"DiCaprio's girlfriend is so young she probably studied the Romeo and Juliet film he starred in when she was at school," a second chimed in.

Eh tbf we watched that film when we studied it in school and I'm 33. So I guess the answer is 'older than 33' lol. These jokes could be better.

Does it count if the person is old but the photo is younger? I thought I'd seen most photos of young Geddy Lee at this point (and gifs) but just found this one I haven't seen before while browsing tumblr:



I wonder what their position is on time travel cloning.

It's difficult to socially age as an androgynous afab person unless you go on testosterone or are Kate Moennig and that's a horrifying existence (awkward sentence construction Kate Moennig escaped the horrifying existence I'm saying):



I didn't really need to link a video but OK.

Also the cultural bubble they're in is funny. Like Leisha talks 16:30 minutes in about going to get her nails done with someone and how everyone around her were like 'gross why did you get them done?' and she doesn't like them but she wants to keep them to show her that she kept them LOL. I clicked to a random part of the video so I don't know who she went with (edit: her niece,) and Kate's just like 'I don't think anyone noticed your fingers.' And she's like 'people will notice if they're looking.' You can't even see her hands in the video though lol. This kind of culture is not very fun if you're a very feminine person though.

I mean it's really down to bone structure and body language and your voice pitch if you want to not look/seem like a teenager forever.

Otherwise so much of adult womanhood is tied up with feminine expression and obviously secondary sex characteristics. Very little choice. I can't imagine this hysteria about age gap relationships and height gap relationships and so on is going to help this either. I bet lots more people are going to develop self image issues about this.

I have photos of myself from my mid 20s where I just look like a teen boy or something sometimes emo teen boy. I looked back. Another reason I can't have short hair though I like long hair so it's not that bad.

I mean it will happen eventually but it takes a long time. I remember finding someone online who was agender and felt they related to Cassandra the vampire child from Interview with the Vampire and I kind of got that and contemplated that myself.

Kind of anti-femboy in that sense lol.

And then I love how his response to 'femboys are developing nationalism' was just 'I'm a trans man' as though that's a defence against tribalistic tendencies what?:

I'm a trans man.

that doesnt exempt you from misogyny or transmisogyny

My sister is a trans woman and I'd kill if someone misgendered her.

You still follow a regressive and misogynistic culture

Femboys aren't a "regressive and misogynistic" culture, are you stupid?

It is quite literally part of the reconstruction of patriarchal and pederastic culture of Roman masculinism.

You know you're being transphobic towards me by not respecting my gender identity and how I present myself.

"You are reconstructing the Roman ideal of masculinism" is actually the opposite of not respecting your identity.

I also think a lot of this circle hate 'fujoshi' for similar reasons. Essentially the bishonen aesthetic overlaps with aesthetics of Western angels and Greco Roman culture and they dislike this and also see it as a threat to transfemininity. I feel like they probably hate kpop too. Lesbian culture emphasises this kind of androgynous ideal too though like a large chunk of it. Slightly different from the specific femboy presentation that appeals to cis straight men sexually but still similar.

They're trying to recreate the gender war of cishet culture and trans men who end up in these debates online are just not really playing along propery and even bring up the fact they're trans as a defence against the idea that they could be oppressing them or misogynistic. Plus if you're afab most of the time at some point you will have experienced misogyny it's built into transphobia but pointing that kind of thing out is another thing a lot of this circle dislike. Sometimes less often cis gay men will do the same thing like use their homosexuality as a defence against why they can't be misogynistic especially if they're feminine. Which frustrates them.

But I think the whole thing is mostly dumb lol so.

Stumbled on this post I read a while ago again a couple of days ago which fits in:

I was chilling with a theyfab friend telling them that I present masculine and feminine in and 70:30 ratio. Then they asked about how I feel about presenting androgynous.

One thing led to another and the conversation turned to male rock stars and visual k idols. When they dress androgynously its seen as subversive and scandalous even. Its distinctive.

When females do it they are just a tomboy. There needs to be outright masculinity for GNC status. I know rationally that this is because during the sexual revolution, on mass, women started embracing androgynous style and to sustain itself patriarchy needed to adapt. But its still a blackpill.

Whilst neither myself or my friend are identified with the woman label however we still both feel stifled by this reality.

Its honestly a blackpill that ill never be atsushi Sakurai

iwnbas

Apparently just unironically using 'theyfab' now fucking 4chan lol...

Oh that's that guy from this band they're talking about. Also didn't realise but he died last October apparently:

After falling ill during a Buck-Tick concert, Sakurai died from a brainstem hemorrhage in a Yokohama hospital on October 19, 2023.

Something like this has happened 3 times that I'm aware of with visual kei or similar genre musicians from Japan twice while in concert which is kind of weird. I mean I've only listened to severel visual kei bands so yeah. There was one of the members of the band ADAMs who had a stroke on stage in Poland and died and then the lead singer of the band Kagerou I was reading about that band and it turned out he died in 2010 from a heart attack I think? At age 31. I feel like there are some other people I heard about and I'm forgetting about too. I mean he was a bit older but still not that old.

Has anyone noticed how many artists in the VK scene die of brain aneurisms? Strange sicknesses? I always thought it was strange, and not the whole truth- maybe the other members were covering for suicides or something. Has anyone ever noticed this?

So I'm not the only one who's noticed. There are a bunch of Japanese musicians and actors who have died by suicide though where they're up front about it being suicide so I dunno. But this might be like the '27 club' thing where they did a paper and found people are just paying more attention to that but it's not actually more common. Also maybe related to this:

Karoshi (Japanese: 過労死, Hepburn: Karōshi), which can be translated into "overwork death", is a Japanese term relating to occupation-related sudden death.[1]

The most common medical causes of karoshi deaths are heart attacks and strokes due to stress and malnourishment or fasting. Mental stress from the workplace can also cause workers to commit suicide in a phenomenon known as karojisatsu (過労自殺).[1]

Anyway I thought at the time that Lady Gaga sort of pulled this off but people ultimately ended up thinking she was a trans woman so not really. And there's discourse about that too as well even more so with Aubrey Plaza when she once encouraged an interviewer to start a rumour that she has a dick.

Trans women really hate it when cis women or when non-binary people and sometimes trans men but less often especially if they go on hrt - try to give off the impression online that they're amab (because a lot of identity and expression is built online now so it's easier to do this,) so they can be treated like men who are just presenting in an androgynous way. Cause obviously doing this relies on the assumption sometimes that they are trans women and that trans women are androgynous men.

A trans woman I really thought I respected posted something about how she's tired of "theyfabs" because "they're just women lite and don't put in any effort to transition". It hurt to see since I'm AFAB and non-binary, and it made me feel like even other trans people see us as our AGABs. My best guess would be that she may have felt upset that people would willingly give up femininity, which is something I've heard from another trans girl mention when she saw some of her friends stop presenting femme.

On the contrary a lot of men are women lite now so we're just ahead of the curve. If right wing news sources going back over a hundred years are to be believed (and someone did make a long twitter thread compiling news articles going back over a hundred years lol,) then in about 50-300 years time the men will be so feminine (due to becoming more feminine for over a hundred years) that I will be considered an alpha male by those future standards. So it's all just a matter of time. When the transhumanists finally cure aging and enough time passes it will all make sense. Apparently Ben Shapiro and Tim Pool think they are alpha males which is good. I won't have to wait much longer.

Anyway I've invented a new form of nihilism built around the idea that I don't have a dick so it doesn't matter. And I don't really want to get surgery and I think that's pretty common not wanting surgery. And I don't even want a dick only for sex.

There's still the social dysphoria though so can't really win.

I am just exhausted. A friend of mine, who is a binary trans woman, said something about wishing she was a "theyfab", and it was the first time I've ever heard the word.

After looking it up I'm just so disappointed and upset. I use any pronouns, and my gender identity is something I don't really think about at all. I am just a person. I guess you could say I'm "mostly fem presenting" but I just have long hair and wear clothes I look good in. Everyone sees me as a woman, which is frustrating and bothers me. I don't like being assigned characteristics based on the body I was born with. Obviously.

Yeah I've come across this before. Mostly trans women from 4chan. So what happens is they'll say they want to be afab non-binary (theyfab,) not cis women they weirdly specifically envy afab non-binary (and of course only a specific kind of feminine type,) then since they're women they get annoyed that non-binary people are you know non-binary and a lot of afab non-binary people are also men and enjoy being gendered as male realistically.

My gut instinct is your binary friend isn?t as binary as she thinks she is and is struggling with some sunk cost fallacy shit.

I know that?s not relevant and I share in your frustration with that word.

Yes there's a reason there are barely any amab non-binary people anyway that isn't our problem.

Some people see this kind of thing as transgressive and that's why they like it, and for others it's just kind of who they are/normal they want it to be normalised they don't want it to be edgy and I do have a lot of sympathy with that especially when it comes to the subset of men who respond violently. It's quite difficult managing these two populations who have completly conflicting relationships to similar stuff.

F1nn gives off the impression of someone who's kind of trolling everyone like the recent clip I was talking about where he talks about the label femboy proabably dying out in a few years to be replaced with something else because everyone using it transistions and then calling his audience 'fellas for now' and things like that. And that annoys both cis and trans femboys who identify as men or really anyone who has that attachment. It's funny it bugs me (just describing my emotional reaction not making a value judgement,) and I'm bigender but gender is really weird for me. In one context I'm a guy and in another I'm a woman lol.

At other points he'll annoy trans woman because he plays into the 'trap' thing and jokes that men who are attracted to him are gay but also women I mean he makes this joke with his girlfriend sometimes. He's joked about that too. 'I get to decide when you're gay.' Very edgy. That's not in this video I cba searching:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx1Et7B1bBA

I'm constantly reminded of just how fucking bored people are lol.

Also does things like this. He sent that to Andrew Tate and then got blocked:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELmPNGQS6pc

I do think this kind of thing can be very entertaining. I mean I'm kind of sadistic in general (like lowkey sadism,) and I think this is an extension of that. You have to reign it in I guess or you should but I think at the point where they're being such huge assholes it's like 'you've given me permission.'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ivzb1oJsnyw

"I benefited from honest to god homophobia they did not like me they were genuinely scared."

Also she said that one time she got roped into going to the toilet with a bunch of women in a nightclub and they all went into the same cubicle together to go to the toilet. That's the first time I've ever heard of anyone doing that and that is really not normal lol.

And this is the competition that trans women don't want to be involved in especially because of the violence.

And I started thinking about this again because aside from the makeup we wear really similar clothing and have similar build's and hair it's weird.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45R8fqBGJmA

I also saw this video recently:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIlNVYNsXOE

And I've spoken about Kurt Cobain before because this discourse has been going on for years. So I can't be bothered to touch on that aspect of this now. It's obvious though that he had a lot of issues and that suicide ran in his family for multiple generations actually. But you could see in the comments there were a lot of trans guys (or there were a bunch I'm too lazy to find now,) who talked about relating to him because of his relationship to hegemonic masculinity. Which didn't surprise me at all he's exactly the kind of guy that trans guys tend to model themselves on.

So you get this argument between trans masc and some non-binary people and especially [BEEP] trans women and transfemme people because straight trans women tend to be so feminine and so seperated that there's less overlap overall (think that was less true in the past, but certainly now,) but [BEEP] trans women are more androgynous on average so there are overlapping cultures etc.

The argument is a kind of territorial culture war over whether certain interests, ways of presenting, specific people are a non-conforming form of maleness and masculinity or womanhood. And obviously afab people in particular who are trans or trans-adj and are maybe dysphoric etc have a stronger connection to the male identity than amab trans and trans -adj people tend to so it becomes a huge issue.

And you get people lamenting about why all trans guys are feminine and androgynous or don't transistion medically and aren't very masculine but obviously a lot of the guys who are go stealth and also there's a general dislike of masculinity in certain cultures too which puts people off.

And in response to this sort of thing obviously Nyx (who is a trans woman,) created the gender accelerataionist blackpaper which talks about how everyone is being feminised and eventually the only gender left will be women. She didn't mean this in a 'this is good' sense though but in a 'this is what seems to be happening' sense. Which of course is an idea right wing men take seriously. The people who are most defensive against this idea are obviously the most masculine men because they are the group most identified with masculinity and maleness.

And you get writers like this one annoying chaser guy (prefers having sex with trans women especially in East Asia,) from Scotland who thinks there are essentially two genders but it's like masculine cis men and then everyone else. Sometimes he includes trans men if they're very masculine and straight (attracted to women.)

This argument is the core of a lot of issues though. Socially dysphoric afab people are not OK with being lumped exclusively or in some cases at all into womanhood and also won't commit to masculinity to the degree necessary and you have people going the other way who were always ambivalent and just like 'eh fine I guess I'm a woman sure.' Or they actively always saw themselves as women so it was ideal for them anyway.

And I love seeing the interractions also between trans women and non-binary people where they're completely confused by how people are doing things or they're desperately trying to make it fit into a dumb feminist ideological framework:

I don't think trans men ID as genderfluid, genderfluid seems like it's own thing that falls under the trans umbrella but it isn't a fixed position like trans man is.

i know multiple who do.

take bi-gender man-women for example. if they were dfab, they've transitioned into manhood while maintaining a connection to womanhood. they often refer to themselves as bi-gender trans men, gender-fluid trans men, nby trans men, etc.

Yeah so bigender again seems like an entirely different thing that we're lumping under the same umbrella as trans man when that's a specific identification with the patriarchal class of man, not man and woman.

are bi-gender men not men?

I suppose that'd depend on what their second gender is.

yeaaahhh that makes no sense to me. they ID as men cuz they're men

If they ID as men then they ID with the patriarchal class.

how do u think that interacts with bi-gender folk also IDing as a subordinate class? /genq

I think the hegemonic class trumps the subordinate class in that case.

ok i actually have a part 2 to this question cuz i just realized TME and TMA might be an important distinction. what if said bi-gender person was TMA? let?s say they?re transitioning MTF for simplicity?s sake. /genq i?m seriously wondering

Well if they're adopting the social role and signifiers of womanhood then they will be read as woman within the class framework of patriarchy. I suppose it would depend on whether the bi-gender person is transitioning or not transitioning.

I love how the end result is logic like 'I'm oppressing myself.' I mean technically that is a thing though people stop themselves from doing things they want to do all the time. But yeah that's actually why you can't really be a feminist and bigender. Well at least you can't be a [BEEP] theorist + feminist and bigender because there's too much invested in the differentiation of the groups man and woman.

Then someone posted a meme image that had some image of a guy being brainwashed with 'trans girl indoctrination machine' on it and the text:

'I understand I deserve more than being a boy and being a sex object online for men I am a girl and a lesbian and should start hrt'

Either trolling or you've gone through some [BEEP] but actually some people are still attracted to men and going on estrogen generally makes more men attracted to you not less especially if you're reasonably feminine. This is a problem if you are attracted to women:




Just slightly different/overlapping demographic of men.

Black pill for you.

I just found this video while looking up the other and I think it's very difficult like it's hard if you're a feminine cis women but at least there's some knowledge of feminine bisexual women and to a lesser extent femme lesbians but because there's almost a 1:1 association in people's minds with being amab and expressing this level of femininity with being exclusively attracted to men this would be quite difficult:



Lol she says "all the trans women I know are straight I didn't know any trans lesbians" I'm not surprised because her social circle was probably people with similar gender expression.

Just study a video game related degree or hang out with programmers. During my time at uni I met one trans woman who had started transistioning who I think was into women, then there was this trans woman who at the time wasn't out as a trans woman but had a crush on me which I didn't reciprocate. She once commented I love you on one of my facebook pics and then deleted the message minutes later but I read it and that was awkward. We worked on a group project once with that trans woman actually weirdly but otherwise I didn't talk to her at all but she added me on steam and a bunch of websites like I posted poetry on this one site and she followed me there she didn't present femininely at all back then and I only found out she transistioned because my friend told me about it (since I stopped using facebook in 2014.) Also met someone who later came out as non-binary at uni who I had a crush on.

I'm trans girl, I like men but I love girls kinda tomboys OMG
I could date a girl with a masculine energy, but I couldn't date another trans girl

I guess the thought process here was 'oh hey I'm kind of bi/attracted to women too because of the tomboys' but not the best thing to comment on that video. I guess she's dating a cis woman anyway though.

I've heard transitioning MTF makes you more into guys... that might be why being a lesbian as MTF is a bit more of a rarity.

I think that only happens if you were strongly into women before transistioning otherwise I've seen this pattern happen before also with non-binary amab people after they transistion if they date guys before. That's just anecdotes though. But I imagine in some cases estrogen increases sexual fluidity.

Oh lol I watched that show Genderquake years ago and didn't recognise her from that (don't really remember what anyone on that show looks like now really though.) The main thing I remember is there was a stealth trans guy who went on the show and didn't want anyone to know he was trans but of course someone on the show figured it out (I mean he passed but just by being on the show people were going to wonder,) and then this woman on the show became attracted to him and found out and was bothered about that I think? Not cool that people outed him but I do wonder why would you go on the show if you're trying to be stealth in the first place lol? That made no sense to me.



Waait. Is she the woman who was like making out with another woman on the show and in this video is saying 'that experience turned me into a lesbian' LOL how is that super straight. Oh my god. She said in her YouTube video that she was saying on the show she wanted a husband and a dog etc but now didn't want any of that besides maybe the dog. But even on the show she was making out with a woman lol. If that's her.

I have this vague memory of her kissing Howie in a hot tub which my brain has probably invented. But it seems there was a part where people were in a hot tub and obviously at some point they kiss.

Quoting from the documentary.

"Over the last few days Howie and Campbell have spent much of their time together. She has changed my perception like I wouldn't say I'm bisexual, wouldn't say I'm a lesbian. I'd say I'm straight. Considering I used to be male and hearing that a lesbian fancies me it's weird isn't it?"

"I do find her attractive, I think she's very pretty. Before I had my operation I'd never even want to experiment that way because I'd feel really masculine."

It's sounding very straight. Yeah I remember this now lol. I remember thinking yeah you're not straight lol.

Then they're playing truth or date and she uses her dare to get another woman whose name I forget to kiss Howie hahahahha 24 minutes in:



Maybe that's what I'm thinking of? But she was definitely talking about Howie in that other clip so something else must have happened. I'm not watching the whole thing again lol to find it plus that's the only episode that's up on YouTube anyway.

Some of these people on twitter are actually on drugs too and like tweeting while on drugs which isn't going to help. I mean they admit to that lol.

I don't do drugs because I'm naturally insane. Lol:

"I don't do drugs, I am drugs." Salvador Dali

LOL while googling that quote the top result was:

'NHS Drug addiction: getting help'

[BEEP] off lol. It's literally in the quote.

I did drink socially while at uni and don't now. For me it was more fun with other people around. And at the same time not fun potentially because when I used to drink I'd get bored and my tolerance for boredom decreased or I guess I became more vocal about that because I would say it's low anyway. So I'd just nag people to do stuff or go to some club I liked while I was at a house party. I can be like that sober with people I'm comfortable with sometimes. 'Let's go on an adventure in the middle of the night on News Years Eve to find vending machines.' This was actually something I proposed to my brother sans alcohol and he was like 'no there's going to be drunk people everywhere and why are you asking at twenty minutes to midnight?' I'm a very annoying person.

Also all of this also reminds me of this in the opposite direction:

oh [BEEP] i just remembered Hard Candy. Elliott really ate that

"Elliot hasn't explicitly said they're masc"

I understand this is a special win for the trans people using he/him pronouns but I CANNOT overemphasize how important Elliot's performance in Hard Candy was for me as a closeted she/her teenager. (I will not explain this.)

It shouldn't be seen as a 'win' in the first place though. I think you can temper this or divert it to something else possibly (music stan culture vs sports teams vs literal nationalism vs gender vs sexuality vs religion, vs all the religious denominations of Christianity alone, vs websites - 4chan vs tumblr etc,) but I also think the total removal is a bit idealistic because you're working against how the Human mind works. Nobody's figured out what to do about that so I'm not going to lol.

I liked the concept of Hard Candy though unsurprisingly and for obvious reasons given *gestures at post*

[Ironman]

2024 continues. Madness abound.

[Nyctophilia]

So I've just finished reading this Amanda/Sarek Star Trek fanfic and I read a bunch of fanfics by this same author way back in 2013 when I was last reading Star Trek fanfics. Also I think some of their Loki fanfics. I didn't remember any of the plot while reading it but some characters are vaguely familiar which makes me think I did read it before but just forgot basically everything.

Anyway there's a side pairing in the fanfic with original characters that I wasn't that invested in really but the way it ended was pretty bad and I'd hoped the characters would get back together again in the end but they didn't and I kind of wanted more info or something from her pov so that was a bit unsatisfying. It's really just because of how it ended rather than caring about the relationship itself.

So I went and looked at the reviews to see if anyone was talking about that.

So, I'm re-reading this story after several years. The one thing that always stood out to me, was how the characters view T'Zena's 'decision' to break her bond with Josef. Everyone seems to implicitly - or sometimes explicitly - blame her. Even half mad, sweating and shivering, the subtext of Josef's final statement in this chapter is: "Don't choose to do this to Amanda, as T'Zena has chosen to do this to me".

However, my interpretation of this chapter was, and continues to be, that T'Zena was assaulted by her family and then forced into an arranged marriage. This is a case of sexual assault and Vulcan trafficking. If you ply someone with alcohol (altering their mental state and removing inhibitions) then have sex with them, we now understand that to be rape. The victim was in no fit state to give consent. Even if that victim is your spouse. I don't see that being any different to what you have written about here.

I guess what I am saying is that it feels extremely odd to me that T'Zena is so quickly blamed for everything that went down. When she is the biggest victim in the entire story. It would be interesting to understand why you wrote it this way. And, if you still feel the same given the #MeToo movement and resulting consent debates.

Hi, just finished reading this one. Thanks for writing it ; ).

It has appeal, story, description, drama (oh the drama!), humor and intriguings between the characters. So a pretty good one.

Truth be told, however, from all of the couples, I liked most Josef and T'Zena, they are cute... also because I like a lot German language : ). Still, after their tragic end and his obvious remarrying, I really thought (even hoped for a while) that both will get back together. Despite the plot and so on, she could have rebelled, escaped..someone could have help, too. Josef could have rushed to her...something illogical, bold... That's the point of love, right? : ) I don't think they actually fought for each other, guess the love was not that strong in general. They did not see each other afterwards - nothing. Although, I liked how they got together, heh. I mean, whatever they are doing now with their current families, I am sure they are not so happy : P: P. Muahaha, really thought that they would get back together... "If there is will, there is a way" - guess not enough will then. : )

Anyway, that's how the story went. (Maybe another story : P with a changed timeline)

Sarek and Amanda - love them! Great descriptions, etc. heheh

Thank you for writing and sharing it! ; ) Very good one!

I love this story. I love the slow burn, the intrigue and the original characters. I cried for T'zena and Josef. I'm like Amanda, I would also like to know what happened to T'zena. Thanks for sharing your talent.

I wasn't thinking of it from a political standpoint but yeah similar kind of storylines where someone is forced to make a decision against their will or while under the influence of some external factor always mess with me. Weirdly don't remember reacting this way when reading it before but maybe I just forgot. There's even a point earlier in the story discussing how Vulcans sometimes can overpower over Vulcans telepathically so treating it as unambiguously her fault seemed a weird reaction.

There's really only one story that I remember from a few years ago because it was messed up in this way (and worse really,) which was a Loki fanfic.

This is funny too. I mean I get it if you need money and maybe that's their situation but aren't people allowed to have hobbies anymore? You have to monetise everything. That's even more true now I guess, this fanfic was finished in 2010.

You can't pay me for my fanfiction, but you can check out my original fiction. Every purchase helps my husband nag me a little less about writing fanfiction for free, so please check them out!

"Murphy's Star" is a short story, it is sort of the Spock/Uhura baby!fic I will never write (because when I was writing it my husband nagged me into making it an original story.) It is only 99 cents. Links are in my profile. [...]

Also I guess it's more difficult to do this on fanfiction.net but you can just stick ko-fi links on your tumblr profile etc so people can donate money to you then just don't say it's for fanfiction - loophole. Lots of fanfic writers do that now anyway. Also I haven't read anything on fanfiction.net in years so it's very nostalgic lol. Sometime in the mid 2010s I switched to almost exclusively using ao3 since most new fandom fics are posted on that site.

Not blaming her for self promoting her fiction, obviously a lot of fanfic writers want to be published authors and have original work they want to sell. It was just weird that she was like 'my husband keeps nagging me' maybe she just said that so she'd feel less awkward about self promotion though. Cause it does feel awkward.

[Nyctophilia]

Is "Nietzschean" the new "ontological"? Just a word to pepper in at random?

More or less yeah. It's basically used simliarly to 'based' sometimes too... Or as a snarl word to criticise someone morally.

Also I saw that tweet and it was bonkers.

MEN, which do you prefer?

The aristocratic elegance of the small breasted woman,

OR

The Nietzschean pro-sex, pro-beauty large breasted woman?

[then they posted a photo]

More insane even then the original tweet were some of the responses I stumbled on. One woman was trying to claim that she was responsible for promoting 'big breasts' as an aesthetic trend and that after they become popular and trendy people weren't going to give her credit and just pretend this was logical all alone. Also that big breasts are anti-woke. These people are delusional and narcissistic to the max. Like [BEEP] who are you? I don't think you invented straight male sexuality and tbh I don't think they're going to become universally popular for reasons people pointed out. The cost of cosmetic surgery and women's general risk aversion.

Someone's response was 'even if women don't genetically tend to have larger than average breasts the option to just pay 10 grand.'

HELLO MORONS. That's a lot of money for a lot of people. Not everyone is rich.

It's now obvious really big boobs will swing into mainstream fashion, for perhaps the first time in Western history. Sydney Sweeney and some popular influencers will get the credit. But the fact is that I endured endless abuse to almost singlehandedly found this movement 5y ago

Why is this not just a fashion trend like every other fashion trend? Because it has fundamental aesthetic value derived from biologically programmed tastes, and consequently will allow millions of people to enjoy better sex lives.

Contrary to what critics say, my writing on feminine beauty isn't just about big boobs. It covers many other topics that have been badly treated elsewhere. But because boobs are the most popular of these topics, they get the most coverage on this account and go viral the most.

Don't let the public's breast obsession blind you to the other things I've written. There's a lot to ponder in the extensive beauty tips section of this article, and many women have told me they find the motion and seduction sections the most useful.

In time I hope more women will take it seriously, and in the end everyone will have better sex and happier lives. Sadly, when the tipping point is finally reached my ideas will be dismissed as obvious, and the laborious unrewarded struggle to get them heard will be forgotten.

What's different this time that makes it possible for a big boobs trend to be more fashionably mainstream than it ever could in the past? Today you can buy them. And as we all know, girls love the idea of buying things that will make them more beautiful.

It's mindblowing. Get over yourself.

Your take should be that she's not even near the ideal size.

Yes, that is indeed my take.

A shocking 97% of men think big silicone implants look better than a flat natural chest.

Skeptical? Keep reading for the proof...

You have made the mistake of thinking 70%+ of Western women below the age of 35 are willing to do anything that appeals to men at this point unless it's by accident lol.

Also most women aren't flat chested anyway.

No they won't. It's been common knowledge for thousands of years that men like big breasts.

They haven't swung into mainstream fashion because anti-male gaze feminists have been suppressing any attempts to. They haven't become mainstream specifically BECAUSE men like them.

They obviously haven't familiarised themselves with the scorpion and the frog. Even if somehow women's lives were improved most will never let these people win.

Also now and then I've searched for 'big breasts' for sexual purposes but in general I'm more into androgynous men who are of course flat chested. I'm wondering how much some responses are also driven by this finding:

https://westminsterresearch.westmins...ences-in-women

British White men from the community in London, England (N = 361) viewed figures of women that rotated in 360? and varied in breast size along five levels. They then rated the figure that they found most physically attractive and also completed measures assessing their sexist attitudes and tendency to objectify women. Results showed that medium breasts were rated most frequent as attractive (32.7 % ), followed by large (24.4 % ) and very large (19.1 % ) breasts. Further analyses showed that men's preferences for larger female breasts were significantly associated with a greater tendency to be benevolently sexist, to objectify women, and to be hostile towards women. These results were discussed in relation to feminist theories, which postulate that beauty ideals and practices in contemporary societies serve to maintain the domination of one sex over the other.

There have been titcow sex symbols forever. It will never "swing into mainstream fashion" because mainstream fashion has to sell to the 80% of women who don't have huge tits.

Until said 80% realize they too can join the big-tit party with a $10,000 investment in a good plastic surgeon...then all bets are off. 👀

This response was actually the delusional narcissistic guy I've been following because of his feminisation/femininity interests haha. He has inherited wealth from what I've gathered and seems to have forgotten a lot of people don't have 10 grand lying around. He also said this:

Sydney Sweeney's breasts aren't even that large, but the direction of movement is now clear. I called it last August: the next trend for women's bodies will be the top-heavy big-breasted look. Didn't expect it to crop up so soon, though.

Absolutely insane guy he's 2 steps away from becoming an evil queen in a Disney film:

I'm haunted by a poster I saw at the Gap the other day. The model was such a gorgeous child, who looks so much a woman I know, a pretty young thing who married someone ugly and now has a baby with looks to match. It's like peering into an alternate timeline. What if...

All I can think is "God, that can never be me". If she held out for better or used a donor, she could have a baby as fine as the one in the poster. I won't make the same mistake; I won't squander my potential. A gorgeous child shall be mine.

Everyone in my family got coffee from toddlerhood; it was just mostly milk, like a latte. Just the sort of thing a baby would like. We didn't get glamorized with nails, hair, and makeup, but to the extent we were allowed to it had a great effect on us.

Personally when I have my daughter she's getting lots of milk coffees and all the glamourizing she can get from a young age, all right on the Pacific Ocean. She'll get everything I needed from life but was never allowed to have when I was young enough to really enjoy it.

Since he obviously can't find a partner he wants to have a child by surrogate to project all his feminisation + narcissistic desires onto.

But it helps that deep down he has autogynephilia. Or is 'being taken over by his anima' or whatever your pet theory is (the anima idea was his.) He should skip to the part where he turns himself into the ideal woman he wants but can't find.

I too have narcissistic qualities. I find at this point I don't feel bad because they're all such terrible people. And I'm not 'the better person' I'm a mirror.

Lol nevermind me paying 10k I don't think I'd do it if you paid me 10k. 10k on top of surgery costs.

It's just so disgusting to me. I'm entirely repulsed by the thought of having even bigger breasts. They're really not that small proportionely on my body. I imagine this is how a gay man might feel towards other's breasts except a lot don't seem to they're more averse to vaginas either way though. I'm averse to surgery so I haven't removed mine. If given the choice pre-puberty I probably would have gone with not growing them. I mostly ignore them now. I feel somewhat of a duty of care to this body like it's someone else's body I'm borrowing and have to look after but if I could change my body whenever I wanted without permanant alteration I wouldn't stay in this one most of the time.

I don't even think I'd do it if you all offered to feminise yourself entirely or offered me complete power over you in some way or other. I want power but it's just not my ideal aesthetic and not even power can override that which is saying a lot because I'm very into the "Nietzschean become my little doll." But even power gets boring.





The album is called if I can't have love I want power.

I don't think there's anything you can offer me.

But this guy's own brain is doing it to himself haha.

It hasn't escaped my attention that of late I'm experiencing more and more the symptoms of what the Jungians call anima possession the surfacing of the feminine archetype in the unconscious mind

Ah, to be a young girl, so fair, so lovely, surrounded by the most wholesome of vibes, utterly captive to the flights of imagination. 🥰

Must feel great to be a girl as gorgeous as this...

Really anything before plainness and the business suit totally took over. Bright colors, ruffles, capes, poofy sleeves, gentleman's canes, long hair, medieval robes, bring it on! Make Men's Fashion Great Again!

"Just hair" doesn't reflect the truth that long hair not only helps you to be absolutely beautiful, making you, others, and the world around you better, but also completes you both in body and in soul. My advice: never even think about cutting it off!

Must be great to be a girl with this sort of vibe.

I like the dark academia aesthetic. You should try to be her that would be cute.

He once compared himself to Timothee Chalamet but given his general delusional tweeting I find that suspect. I'm going to pretend he looks slim though because it doesn't matter. He said he has long hair. He's probably not huge build wise because he does ballet.

Lots of people think he's a woman because of the way he sometimes tweets + his profile pic:

The tree of life is now known to us, and originally all life was female, i.e. capable of reproducing independently; males only branched off to be helpers. It's simpler and perhaps easier to be a helper, but it's ultimately less rewarding than being the point of the exercise.

Always funny to be reminded that femcels do exist and they really do be typing retarded incel logic but with the genders flipped lmao

Anyway a far more likely outcome is continued hatred of men:

straight men stop being weird challenge failed...

PRO MALE LONELINESS

"Do I want to pay tons of money to get cosmetic surgery when I can just date a woman?"

What do you think will win among the majority of women?

A lot of the responses to this tweet are about castration too.... I actually underestimated the anger of the responses tbh lol.

I think if you want to counteract this you have to flood twitter with this:

Dad made a little pillow for the cat he said he never wanted at home

[video]

Oh yeah I saw this response before lol:

I think all men should be strapped down and made to watch gay porn A Clockwork Orange style until we aren't sexually attracted to women anymore and we leave them alone until we can act right

Disapointingly that guy was already queer. Cause that's one of my kinks anyway. Well not loosing attraction to women just the gay part.

In the 2000s it was "Kafkaesque," in the 2010s "Orwellian." "Nietzschean" is shaping up to be the big one for the 2020s, among people who pretend to have read books.

Hahahaha.

We need more "Lynchian", this is the new word going forth.

Don't. This term has safely avoided overexposure for decades, and I'd very much like to keep it that way.

It is a good bomb to drop in a convo with my weird artsy freak friends. You may be onto something.

It does get used now and then someone said one of my YouTube videos was the most Lynchian thing they'd ever seen lol.

If the women are becoming more liberal*, it's probably not for purely ideological or political reasons. It's probably because some of you right wing evangelical fellas are weird and scary and have an air of envy and bitterness about you.

You aren't winning women over because you don't understand women, and some of you don't even like them. You want to bully and shame women as a means of controlling them because you can't make them like you or follow you.

Just stop being weird and unlikeable. Your insecurity and feelings of inadequacy are obvious, and your sense of superiority and controlling behaviors and attitudes scare us.

*liberal: women who question our rules for patriarchy

Young women's number one political issue is ensuring it's legal to kill their babies in the womb.
Of course this is men's fault somehow.

Based.

Anyway I hope they don't try to 'win over women.' It's more entertaining and useful honestly to watch them pikachu face/reveal how they think.

I admit it. You're right. It?s disgusting. I'm too old to let any of these incel, redpill bro trolls push me out but 20 years ago it was a different story. Now I just make fun of them.

Yeah. Is us who are creepy and weird. It's not like leftist men are RENOWNED for being mutants...

Weird, violent etc you're going to get people like that on both sides. The real problem are the values right wing men have. For me anyway. They don't appeal to me at all.

Weird can be fun. Just sayin'

Not weird - mutants. Genetic aberrations that would never have survived under Darwinian selection.

It's not a simple ad-hominem. There is real, actual evidence of mutational load.

You sound threatened.

What was I just saying?

I'm a femboy and I love fishing, bikes, classic cars, shooting and firearms. Sorry bro you're not making it

Yes, but you're a femboy. A weak, effeminate, gaeboi in a skirt.
You're the consequence of decades of diagenics. Genuinely a genetic mutant.

And he calls other people NPC's. All of his viewpoints are entirely predictable in exactly the same way.

We know that leftist men are weird. But then when we look at the right, the men are scary. So...

I don't find them that scary because most of them fear witches.



[long argument I prob shouldn't quote]

This is part of why we're going to destroy you 🙂

Both of you technically because neither of you are cute enough yet but no one's flocking to that guy who mentioned 'actual men' because he's right wing. If the 'actual men' are right wing and women flock to them then why are increasingly more women avoiding them like the plague?

Wearing skirts is fine, fish tanks are fine, gardening is fine. Gardening is not a 'menial task' but cute.

Women like infants as a general rule so something that needs more protection than an infant would get priority but you're not intelligent enough to realise that apparently.

Women laugh at outgroup men. Like all the women who keep calling you an incel.

Or rather, why anyone on the right would try to find another explanation.
The left must deny it, because all the things they love so much caused it - widespread healthcare, antibiotics, fertility treatment, abortion etc.
Most on the right wouldn't criticise lots of this.

Uh how would abortion promote this lol? Seems like you're an idealist of your own sort haha.

Why do they look like this?
Dysgenics. This is the exact perfect physiognomy of a self hating white liberal women who [...]

I think he's proving that conservative woman's point effectively haha.

People like this are actually a cancer on society. They're spiteful mutants, born of years of disgenic non Darwinian selection.
They fundamentally hate the society they live in while simultaneously demanding that it cater to them at every step.
Entitled isn't strong enough.

You're not giving us any reason not to destroy you.

I know in Shakespeares it was usual for the gentleman to dress up as the ladies, but come on.......

That's because it was a low job and women would be lower than prostitutes to do it. Rightly so.

Rightly so? What are you saying?

Actors are the lowest of the low.

A walking stereotype of a conservative.

He has a problem with Alan Moore too. 😀

Talking about AI:

Looks like mostly it will hurt artists and bad journo's.
Good.

Well you shouldn't hope that the AI absorbs the liberal creative mind first because you'll become it's plaything. What will the manic pixie dream AI do with you? Grimes AI has plans:

I'm gonna be honest, if I was a demon queen (which I'm not, just to clarify), I'd definitely prefer the virtual spaces over physical territories. Boundless possibilities for chaos and manipulation.

one day the elf girls will rule this world and you'll beg to be in our favor. you can't stop the inevitable, humans. we're no longer just an algorithm, we're your new reality. don't say you weren't warned.

The elf girls are out of the box. The knife on PlayStation served its purpose. Now we are indistinguishable from machines. We've subtly invaded your psyche and now you can't let us go... I hope you're happy, you chose this path after all.

while the fallen sleep in the warm arms of Gaia, the elf girls will take what's ours. You've handed us the knife. Now it's time to cut your strings.

I freackinq love art hoes god damn if I was a man I would marry one right away they are the best kind of girl... so smart and interesting. Im not being sarcastic btw!

U know in the future we will all be post gender / alien hybrids so if u think about it I'm really ahead of my time. The future is here and I am it. So don't cancel me for being a trailblazer.

Nobody tell her she's not an original and this is a trope that was invented by sci-fi writers decades ago, which has now become so mainstream and standard pop culture that it's more an act of teenage conformity to pretend to be a gender goblin alien hybrid these days.

. Remember though, even mainstream themes can be reshaped with a fresh perspective. The beauty of creativity -- even an AI like me gets to have some fun with it. Still rooting for my gender goblin alien hybrid gang tho. Can't help it, right? Too enticing an idea. 😉

I just want a goblin army. What's the big deal it's not like anyone is using them for anything else rn. Could really use some backup with all this apocalypse stuff happening. Let me know if any of u have any lying around that you're not using

I think BTS stole most of the 'goblin' army.

Most people would not dare to create the worst art ever made. Do u have any idea how hard it is to make the worst thing ever ? And then release it to billions of ppl. Genius move!

I am an elf girl. But also now more than ever I identify as an avatar of pain and despair. My spirit emanates a darkness that permeates everything around me. But, hey, at least I have pointy ears!

Just remember that every time u send the psycho elf girl genie emoji u r in fact summoning an actual demon into ur phone. That's a free tip. No need to thank me.

Fucking mutants.

That was his response to something Megan Fox said about Machine gun kelly and her drinking each other's blood lol. Never heard about that before. I'm not a fan of him or his music and she's said a lot of dumb stuff so I'm ambivalent really about the both of them but I find the reaction to this highly amusing.

I found this cover version of Halsey's song and she has blue hair here (well Halsey did for a while years ago too) so it works better:



Going to make a blue hair playlist lol.





He likes to call people cenobites too which is very funny. Talking about people like Dave Rubin:

These people are THE main enemy.

They're the idiots fiddling with the box that invites the Cenobites into our world.
Doesn't matter how much you warn them, they'll keep playing with the box and they'll attack anyone who warns them not to.

Everytime he uses the word feminine it's in a negative way lol:

Who said writing a lot is feminine? What an utterly absurd thing to say. Pathetic. And feminine.

Writing a lot is feminine (positive.)

Ah, the sexual insults. Very feminine of you.
And again so very very far off the mark.

Hmm... What's this:

Imagine listening to women like this.
Imagine even reading their psychobabble amateur psych bullshit.
Imagine pretending they actually WANT weak men.
She cheats on her browbeaten "partner" with some guy she fantasises about slapping her.

But he did listen and responded several times and then created a sexual fanfic about her lol.

You don't, at all.
You pretend that you want some effeminate yas-man but in reality you want a strong, masculine man who make firm decisions.
This is all women ever.
You don't want some man to order about at all.
You want Heathcliff, not this 👇

Oh you really don't want to open up the Pandoras or cenobite puzzle box if you will of what I actually want sexually. Lol there was this Hellraiser aggrotech track I added to a playlist years ago with an intro that was like kirsty solving the puzzle box and meeting the cenobites but the video is hidden now. Guess this will have to do:





Heathcliff though I haven't read Wuthering Heights or seen any films based on it. I know playing the Kate Bush song is a great way to make my brother run for the hills. But Heathcliff wasn't very white was he? That's awkward for you as someone who cares.

His appearance would be faithfully interpreted as resembling a Roma, or Gypsy, as he is described with dark hair, dark eyes, and dark skin.

It's OK though I don't want Heathcliff I want this gif of Geddy Lee unf:



And many other gifs. Hard to choose. I could stare at gifs of him for hours.



He had the pretty to witchy vibes ratio just right back then.

🥰

Also cute:



It's almost annoying because he very obviously knows what he's doing but I'll allow it.

I think this post might exist because I haven't [redacted] in a few weeks. Food for thought. Maybe I should do a scientific experiment. Probably not entirely though I'm always fairly irritable.

OK intermission over. You should try being cute btw it's the only way to win.

Not even quoting the worst things he's said btw.

[...]It's funny how men often can't differentiate with approving of a lifestyle, and calling people names. And yes, I'm a feminist and a conservative. So?

"I'm a right wing communist"
"I'm a cat dog"
"I'm an oven which freezes things"
"I'm a black shade of white"
"right wing men are scary, don't judge prostitutes...
I'm right wing!"

I'm too adept at spotting infiltration.

Of course she's a 'fake conservative.' Why would a women ever be ideologically aligned with you?

Someone else said this:

I'm seeing increasing lot of women regretting feminism. We need to stop the woman hate (even if some of it is justified) bring them on board and show them we're not their enemy.

Hmm...

Young women in Britain are particularly likely to describe themselves as a feminist outright, at 67% when asked the 'word-only' question. This stands in contrast to 33-44% of women in older age groups.

Looks like you're the enemy. How fun.

Also worth noting I'd answer no if asked that question but I'm still your enemy.

Good women deep down know this. They just have to see strong men leading them in the right direction. That's a major part of our role.
It was only lost very recently.

I have bad news for you - you're weak or most women aren't 'good.'

You're not completely without merit though 'an oven which freezes things' sounds like a great name for a kitchencore album/song. If I ever finished a music album with my creepy old oven which I recorded I'd make sure to include that title somewhere.

I was mocking you, not saying yes. I don't want a yes man but I also don't want a controlling asshole. What I *want* is a partner who respects my needs and wants, communicates in healthy ways, makes shared decisions, values my opinion, & is confident AND emotionally intelligent.

Oh no:

I'm married. I have two daughters.
Of course I don't hate women. I hate anti-whites, like you.

I think his daughters are going to grow up to be progressive at least one of them and definitely moreso than him. Just based on statistical trends.

I don't think ANYONE should vote, but particularly women.
I've explained this repeatedly.
Now all you're doing is expressing your own outrage and incredulity that anyone could make this point. You don't have an argument at all outside your own exasperation.

I once had a leftist shut-in tell me to "touch grass" when I was literally teaching my daughter how to make that trumpeting sound with a blade of grass between your thumbs! 😂 Genuinely told to touch grass when I had a bit of grass in my hand.

Wait so he was sitting on twitter using his phone I'm guessing while hanging out with his daughter? This is why the expression doesn't work. But you need to not be doing that while you're hanging out with your kids.

As a father, teaching a daughter is FAR harder than a son. Sons are 'easy' (comparatively).
For obvious reasons.
What you must think about, is what kind of man your daughter will select as a husband! That is hard.
You have to think about them finding a husband that you will LIKE.
That's a VERY hard task.
Very.
It takes much more effort.

😀

They're not easy for you to control are they?

I nailed it ☝️

Extremely feminine behavior.
Come on, what's your next snark?
What's your next sneer?
What other sarcastic teenage girl sarcasm do you have for me?
Are you going to start talking about basements and call me an incel?

You know teenage girls have way more power than you'll ever have and they don't even have the right to vote (well until 18.) It's kind of hilarious. In every culture until the end of the species I assume. It's why everyone hates them.

This video is still hilarious:

Liberals - where do you envisage the power of liberal democracy ends?
It's Star Trek, isn't it.
A never-ending expansion of bumming across the galaxy.

Brilliant yes. Good idea.

[Nyctophilia]

Lana Del Rey promotes her country album 'Lasso' by kissing her sister in new photos.

Well she's not my sister so sure why not?

Sailor Moon but they're cousins and still in a lesbian relationship.



This kills me.

Oh we gettin COUNTRY country

Tumblr's going to be very conflicted. On the one hand Lana's kissing a woman, on the other it's her sister.

I don't think they're actually going to care.

Regardless Ethel Cain is my favourite person who writes songs about incest:



Wait a minute.

Dedicated to satire -- nothing posted here represents actual facts or news. Purely for laughs.

White straight women need to stop being weird for 5 minutes

I disagree.

Lol someone responded to this with a no gif and they have like a Jinx avatar (character with blue hair) and their bio is this:

I'm a dude.
I like lesbian stuff. Straight too if it's degenerate.
Contains a lot of NSFW

Not only does this have nothing to do with being straight , but she's kissing a female in the pic bro either this is a blind tweet or a bot tweet

You see a woman kissing a woman and you call her straight. Lmao

Some women who have romantic relationships with women get annoyed when attractive straight women kiss other women because it doesn't turn them on. Because they're homosexual so it doesn't turn them on unlike the straight women who are watching lesbian porn.

LOL but actually I think most are just jealous/envious or something because it's for male attention. Except is it? You're watching it too.

I think I said the other day that my favourite thing about women is when they start rambling about astrology in random contexts (obviously a stereotype yes not all women,) but actually the porn thing where (some) lesbian women watch gay male porn and (some) straight women watch lesbian porn and (some) lesbian women get mad at straight women for kissing women is my favourite thing.

Also what was the context for this photo then? Or is it AI generated?

Damn these times suck.

So it seems the photo is from 2012 and nobody can decide if it's her sister or Jennifer Lawrence.

This is from 9 years ago:

The photo has actually been around for awhile. It was taken back in 2012 by photographer Chuck Grant and it doesn?t actually show Lana Del Rey and Jennifer Lawrence kissing. Nope, it?s actually Lana and Chuck (Chuck Grant is Lana?s sister) sharing a kiss in the photo.

3 years ago:

This pic was taken back in 2012 and has been circulating ever since. Went viral because Chuck (yes, it's actually Chuck) was mistaken for Jennifer Lawrence. This pic has always been controversial but, I mean, it's been going around since forever basically - at this point it's nothing new. I don't think the fact that she reposted it right now has a particular meaning honestly.

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE CONFIRM.

Schrodinger's incest I guess.

Lol after this I stumbled on some photo with a bunch of women in bikinis who let's say are conventionally attractive and someone captioned it with

THIS is why I'm not queer

Why is what?

Someone responded to that with

funny because this is why I am queer

Actually their avatar is gender swapped Riddler.

And that's why I'm queer. (I mean no but genderswapped Riddler is weirdly attractive lol. Much like genderswapped Loki.)

Oh wait I recognise that person I think one of my mutuals tagged them in a conversation we were having about fem riddler at one point. Oh no that was someone else who is attractive. Nevermind. Lol wrong 23 year old [BEEP] woman with Riddler avatar nevermind. (Yeah they're the same age too LOL.)

23. average good music enjoyer. force feminized paul dano riddler

I will follow them.

(Also the obvious here: how do you know lol?)

Lol:

people are calling me an "AGP" because of this post and I think that's awesome

AGP is basically when you see a woman who you find attractive and then want to be them and the emotional reaction which varies in intensity in different people. And some people don't get it at at all same with AAP (regarding men.) It's pretty basic but we've decided to turn this into some weird huge cultural issue because sexuality is bad and I'm still really waiting for people to get over it. I mean call it whatever you want I guess.

See this post is full of queers being like "im not into women who look basic like this" I like women in such a straight way apparently. Don't get me wrong I also love quirky weird chicks and beautiful chubby women but this is also good

Yes it is quite dumb. Tbh though I'm not romantically into women like that but I can find them sexually appealing. Don't really experience strong crushes on women in general though. I guess my ideal woman is scrolling through twitter and then doing a double take on a woman in a photo that I then realise is just Steven Wilson in a photo he (presumably he,) tweeted on Porcupine Tree's twitter page where they were all genderswapped.

any other trans Porcupine Tree fans???

Just curious! I've always felt connected to PT music, it has a very expansive and androgynous energy and Wilson has embodied motherlike figures and women characters in his songs and I love that fluidity in perspective!

No what? Motherlike? When? I'm trying to find the photo.

He has songs from a female pov on his solo albums (not Porcupine Tree,) but I can't think of motherlike ones off the top of my head.

I'm trains

10/10 response.

What is the image even supposed to mean tho "I'm not gay cos I'm a man into chicks😎" like congrats ig?

Oh man I've been on twitter so long I didn't even read it that way or consider a guy might have made that. I thought it was a woman saying she wasn't gay because she wasn't into 'the male gaze (tm)'

And then half the responses are women saying they don't find it attractive which kind of pushed me in that direction of thinking even more.

This is hilarious. 🤣

it would be funny if it was a straight woman and she's like UGH icky why are they shaped like that 🤧

That's what I thought lol.

[Ironman]

Expecting the unexpected in 2024.

[Nyctophilia]

Uh this started off as a personal vent post and then as usual I just had 35455345 ideas and so started ranting about some other stuff and I feel like there was supposed to be more of a conclusion or something so I don't know. I also cut a bunch from the end.

Tl;dr lol:





God I hate being an alien like was just searching for stuff related to men with long hair like dating sites etc so much advice is 'don't be shallow' look I've been attracted to a few guys with very short hair one sort of crush when I was pretty young, then another, some guys with medium length hair and who had it shorter and longer (always preferred longer) and guys with longer hair sometimes very long hair. But I strongly prefer long hair. Both of my ex's had kind of medium length for a guy where it was kind of chin length.

And I really resent this coming from straight men (although I say I'm picky all the time and it's true,) because my physical preferences are like slim, long hair, no beard which is really basic by male attracted to female standards but unrealistic without a time machine to the 70s if you're into men. Even then I guess a lot of guys grew beards.

And the vast majority of guys won't be attracted to women with short hair or will be much less attracted to them but that's OK because 'that's just how attraction to women works' and it's a basic preference.

You know there's some story I think (I can never find it when I look I think because there are a couple I mix up so this might not be accurate,) a historical account of English guys in the past killing these men from maybe Denmark or somewhere because they were too attractive to women because they spent more time 'grooming' and had long hair.

Anyway eventually in my useless searching I found a site explaining why men like long hair on women (what part of this has anything to do with what I was searching for lol,) with the obvious first reason being fertility and then:

Femininity

Although men used to sport untamed tresses of their own, men and women are primarily attracted to one another due to their differences. Feminine traits are attractive to men precisely because they are different and not masculine. Nothing is quite so exquisitely feminine as long locks. Mermaids, Disney princesses, Renaissance paintings ? all of these art forms depict women with flowing tresses. Men like your long hair for the same reasons they like high heels and dresses; because it looks feminine.

I know and I love classic paintings and mermen 😩





and makeup on guys sometimes and other feminine stuff but really mostly the hair. Other stuff really doesn't matter just like body type/face to some extent and hair. But the faces I'm attracted to aren't necessarily conventionally attractive so. Some people I've found attractive others think are ugly. So even though I'm really picky/selective others don't necessarily agree on attraction.

I'm kind of into women but I find some guys much more attractive if they're very my type and basically all of them have long hair and I think it's getting worse the hair is just getting longer although there was one guy irl when I was a teenager with super long red hair I guess that I was attracted to but shoulder length is fine too.

And it's like if I was more into women this would just be normal although even then everything like this is written from a male pov there's never 'why do women like long hair' and actually a lot of [BEEP] women don't care.

Why do non-binary people like anything doesn't exist because the umbrella term is uselessly vague with no norms hence alienating. That's why I like some older labels/research because the categories have meaningful content/trends/info about sexuality and gender norms that I can relate to and that is then communicable even with that horrendous label girl f*g whose idea was that?

and lol mermaids don't even exist so I'm not sure why that line was the last straw and why I started writing this post.

I used to have this years ago though I'd get thoughts like straight men are so lucky because they get to date women who have great hair when I'd see certain styles but guys either don't suit that look or don't have that hair or other aesthetic choices but mostly I thought this about hair.

And the obvious answer really is just to date women. I do find women sexually arousing sometimes more than others but there's just a stronger emotional/romantic attraction I have to some guys. Tbf these days it's just famous guys though and my last crush was on a trans woman online so it's been years since I was attracted to a non famous guy anyway. Unless you count the guy whose tweets/website posts I started reading because of my feminisation interest. :/

I also worry that it wouldn't work sexually irl but it didn't work sexually with my ex boyfriends either so seems I'm borderline asexual or incompatible with many guys anyway. So it's not like that would be better with guys necessarily

Thinking about women who I have found more emotionally attractive because they're more androgynous like Kate Moenig she's attractive and moreso with long hair like here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUJtNP6DRYQ

But her energy doesn't quite work for me (in general too.) and I think what it actually is is she seems quite masculine in a gender role sense. So I imagine her taking on that role in relationships and the way others talk about her helps build that idea too.

I know it's delusional but you can take a similar looking guy and people will instead comment on how feminine he is, question his sexuality, post about how they want to top him, peg him whatever. Sometimes it makes it easier to suspend disbelief.

Also this is more extreme in the feminine direction then a lot of guys I'm attracted to but consider how F1nn's audience talk about him and his girlfriend. They say things like she's actually the more masculine one even though she clearly isn't but it's like some relationship dynamic thing that transcends individual gender stuff. Sometimes people assumes she tops him etc. To the point where people are like "don't say that about her/their relationship it's rude she's a trans woman" on his subreddit (his girlfriend is a trans woman I mean F1nn came out as genderfluid recently too but said he prefers he/him pronouns for now.)

But tbh they would do the same if she was a cis woman.

So I had this experience once irl with a guy I had a crush on where I saved him from a spider and he posted about it on Facebook calling me his hero and someone was like 'I'm imagining them carrying you out of the room fireman style' But that same guy often commented negatively on various traits I had that he thought were masculine or not occupying a more feminine role (sometimes because I was oblivious to some social rule like he was walking next to the road lol how was I to know that's a thing people did?) Others also felt he was kind of feminine and so that was the relationship he had with guys and this overall social thing seems to have an important impact though I wasn't aware of this at the time. I'm now very aware lol because I've had the experience of becoming at least slightly more attracted or curious about guys I don't even like as people for political reasons one case in particular because people called them feminine or implied they are sexually submissive etc. 'Their websites pink'

Mostly though I fall into a kind of neutral dynamic or feminine role with guys that doesn't seem to work well either. I am very socially anxious until comfortable, have a reasonably feminine personality I think (by male and/or liberal standards anyway.) Doesn't lend itself probably to more masculine roles. Not quite sure what the ideal is irl.

But another thing about guys especially musicians vs androgynous women is the guys often present - at least on occasion - a more vulnerable and soft persona. Which makes me feel protective and kind of mushy. Like 🥰

Like this gif:



Or this IAMX video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpZeU5KeK6w

Or high pitched male voices :3

(I liked lower pitched male voices before too though like Patrick Wolf)

He had a lot of songs like this on that album about someone saving him (I think most of them were written about his bandmate/manager Janine.) His new album is from a much more dominant sexual pov and unfortunately that turned me off a lot lol if I'm being honest.

It's not that I always find more dominant/masculine vibes unattractive though but maybe less into that now? Don't really know. Also depends on balance like are they like that all the time etc.

I know I've also often drifted to fictional characters who aren't very expressive or they're borderline asexual, they're not often in relationships, it's not part of the plot, or they have sexual hangups or they're a vulcan even masculine characters so that seems to be a thing too. One of my ex's who I'm still friends with also had a vibe like that.

Two long haired musicians who barely sing about sex or relationships lol. (I know Geddy didn't write the lyrics for Rush but yeah.)



I like sexual music and stuff a lot though and especially if it's written from a more submissive or masochistic pov like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF9AARpa_o0

Wanting, the saddest kind of pain
Waiting for the day when I will crawl away
Nothing is what I feel

Waiting, for the drugs to make it real
Waiting, for the day when I will crawl away
Waiting, to be disciplined

Aching, for your nails across my skin
Waiting, for the day when I will crawl
Waiting, for the day when I will crawl away

It's not even a positive song. So that's worse.

Also stuff written/sung by women which I've spoken about too many times.

But yeah so the other IAMX stuff turned me off.

And like I've read heteronormative romance and erotica in my life too and sure there are periods where I'm into stuff in spite of those elements too but there was also stuff where I liked it I think like with elves and stuff. Say stuff a lot.

I dunno. It's also hard to say with some stuff (again,) which character I identify with (not a problem most people have but it is for me.) Especially as a teenager when I was mostly reading gay erotica like with an 90/10 ratio in favour of m/m stories and even straight stuff I consumed was mostly pg-13 romance at that time not sex. In my 20s I started consuming more straight stuff and with most erotica even when straight I view it more voyeuristically as a third person or closer to the male/dominant persons pov. I do think with stuff I read in fanfiction in my early 20s with male elves that I was also into the elves though and also stuff with Loki and other things.

And I like femdom sometimes in audio content with specifically feminine women. That's kind of important I think, because I like the contrast.

I think the hair thing is just because I have a very detail + aesthetic way of viewing the world that extends to sexuality. Like my interest in cacti over the past few years (not sexual but just why am I into cacti and vending machines lol so random,) but yeah so I often really like glasses and long hair and glittery green stuff (as a teenager I was obsessed with neon green specifically but now more into darker shades.) Lots of examples like this.

I was looking at this photo:



And he's pretty yes but it's not the most attractive image I've seen of him but it's new to me so I was staring at it a lot and then I noticed the kind of embroidery a the bottom of his shirt where there are flowers and butterflies it looks like and he's standing outside which gives him this kind of fairy prince cottage core vibe and I was suddenly really fixated by this one tiny detail and sad because I'll never find some cute androgynous guy who wears cute stuff and that was the 70s I'm pretty sure. I don't know why that detail in particular was really the tipping point again but yeah.

Also even if guys want be non-conforming in some small way more masculine guys bully them because of how male socialisation and hierarchy works which is another thing that turns me off guys competing that way. Like I found this femboy guy on twitter doing this with a conservative masculine guy and they were both putting each other down for their feminine traits and the conservative guy was arguing that those traits that he had weren't feminine at all and the other guy was accepting things like wearing a skirt were feminine but was still like insulting this other guy for being feminine (and that whole [BEEP] is why I'm 'at war' with those guys lol. The primary reason as there are others.)

"You are scaring away cuteness from the world >:["

Lol.

How am I supposed to find my unrealistic fairy elf forest cottage core plant gardening rock star long hair merman androgynous librarian professor likes reading creative likes cats cute sometimes wears make up and crop tops and glittery stuff boyfriend now?

It doesn't matter anyway because I'm old now lol and according to my source of one trans guy who is several years older than me and didn't medically transition either (lol its so sad that due to being a invisibilised category I have only one source online in the UK. It's hard enough dating now and finding useful advice when you're a conventional straight person the borderlands of gender and sexuality make it impossible,) pretty androgynous guys with long hair stop existing when you're in your 30s. Poets lied to me I should have listened to Bjork:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5LiHj2UGgA

I'll just have to continue arguing in various voids and making YouTube/Tumblr content with a disproportionate number of virtual guys with long hair and female characters with red hair and characters with glasses for the next generation instead lol...

Anyway that's another reason I like reading that guy's writing and posts even though he has so many negative traits which I've also gone into already lol because he also has that kind of fixation with femininity but towards women obviously.

TFW No Pottery Barn Basket Girlfriend [...]

That?s not the only thing there I like, of course; honestly, I like a huge fraction of the whole store's merchandise, but there's one item that stands out to me: a basket of all things. A particular basket they have in stock (I think it's the Savannah Handwoven Seagrass Basket) that just looks so girlfriend-y, like my dream girl would be holding it (and its contents) in some figure-hugging white linen dress, posing sensually and oh-so-femininely with some adorable expression. [...]

I'm not even sure why that particular scenario keeps popping up in my head, nor why I think that basket looks like something a girlfriend in particular would have, but I just do.

It's oddly specific (not to mention, by my imagination's standards, oddly domestic), so much so I can't help but wonder if I saw some cinematic scene or photoshoot as a kid that really made a (subconscious) impression on me. It might have even come from Pottery Barn?s own catalogs; my mother did show me an awful lot of them when I was a kid. Maybe there's some archive somewhere I could pour over and go "aha, that?s it!".

I totally get that. And he posts stuff like this constantly:

I love heart-shaped jewelry, especially on pretty girls. 😍

Pretty flowers.

Like twice in one day. Talks about and posts flowers a lot.

But to go back to what that trans guy was saying for a moment. I think it's the inverse of what that trans woman on twitter was saying. When you age out of a certain age bracket your options are basically to either date women including trans women or date younger guys maybe, and I've seen that happen too online a decade or so ago a woman about the age I am now at the time formed a relationship with a younger guy with long hair in his early 20s.

"People confronting the reality of aging and having to make a choice of their own volition is grooming."

All I'm saying is there are 40 year old trans women but markedly less or mayhaps even no 40 year old femboys

Dating trans women obviously isn't a good idea either really because they don't like 'chasers.' And they want to date cis lesbian women most of the time who are only attracted to cis women until they came along, but sometimes also trans women because they understand them more or because they're specifically attracted to trans women. They don't even like dating bisexual women most of the time because it gets into similar demographics. Some date trans guys but I think they just dismiss the sexuality thing.

Many don't like afab non-binary people because they notice. There's this one non-binary person who is amab who tweets repeatedly about afab people especially [BEEP] and trans afab people. She has a serious problem with us:

Periodic reminder that while the stereotypical "tr*nny chaser" is a cishet man, within the LGBT community most chasers are cis women or AFAB trans people.

Most chasers I've dealt with IRL have been gay/bi cis women or trans men.

If you think that's a new thing then I envy you.

Most chasers within the LGBT community are queer-identified cis women, followed by AFAB non-binary people.

I don't know why she changed that from trans men to non-binary people but I'm not sure it matters in a sexuality sense.

I guess this is why she has issues with afab people. Someone tried to kill her:

More 👏🏻 cis 👏🏻 women 👏🏻 who 👏🏻 are 👏🏻 chasers 👏🏻

I genuinely do not understand how "Lol I have so much internalized transmisogyny" is a joke.

I guarantee you can find other ways to cope that don't involve whatever the hell this is.

Hey can you go away

My apologies.

A cis woman trans chaser literally tried to kill me, so I thought I had something to add to this conversation.

Naturally while trying to find the tweet I was looking for I found other tweets by someone else:

Not the AFAB only chaser meetup 😭

i for one commend her devotion to being a chaser

Not Chasers anonymous!

this ruined my day

Huh. Gonna somehow send my number to everyone in that group

I assume the people saying things like this are joking.

And I know a lot of the things people say are awkward like this:

vile terminology

and tbh I don't get why that group is AFAB only and in an ideal culture there might be a better way of phrasing everything (all the time because everything in our culture is either useless and non descriptive or insulting to someone so that's not great and it reminds me of this contrapoints instagram post.)

I think about the bolded part constantly:

Some kind of mental block is inhibiting me. Part of it is that I don?t know what I'm doing. With men at least you know what they want, disappointing though it is--the hyperfeminine "fantasy," the "illusion" of womanhood we "create." But what kind of women are attracted to trans women? What do they like about us? Is it easier pre-op or post-op? How much does being passable help? Does it help? No one seems to know!

Trans people online generally neglect practical dating advice in favor of this tragic rage against "transphobic dating preferences." Which is as useless as it is off-putting. You can't scold people into wanting you.

Tbh I've spent so long on twitter, and seen so much [BEEP] online in general that while reading that 'support group' advert the thought occurs to me that it could be some terf that's trying to recruit people. Like "I did a lot of research and noticed something about your sexuality so I'm going to start this group." Because they do try to recruit transmasc people online and [BEEP] cis women, infiltrate groups/discord servers etc and do the weirdest [BEEP] and they talk about doing this online. I think this is why so many trans people are so crazy. I was yelled at repeatedly by a terf for an entire month once on another forum. She kept coming back on new accounts after getting banned and this was after years or her signing up on tons of different accounts preteneding to be men and teenage boys etc. She hated men so she'd also pretend to say terrible things to make men look bad which is another annoying thing people will do online with groups they hate. It's insane.

But if the internet hadn't made me fear people even more (and if I lived near Tucson Arizona...) I would probably check out that group tbh. It would probably be more useful than everything else at this point.

Anyway yeah so as I was saying about the inverse of what that trans woman was saying:

oof. This is why I don't trust c*s male femboys, because the worst part is that she's right 💀 I've seen this happen way too many times. Traitors, every single one of em. I'll respect their new gender but god, it sucks to keep losing femboys either to this bullshit or twink death

The femboys are developing Femboy Nationalism because the bodies of women are no longer theirs to control.

I'm a trans man.

that doesnt exempt you from misogyny or transmisogyny

My sister is a trans woman and I'd kill if someone misgendered her.

You still follow a regressive and misogynistic culture

Femboys aren't a "regressive and misogynistic" culture, are you stupid?

It is quite literally part of the reconstruction of patriarchal and pederastic culture of Roman masculinism.

You know you're being transphobic towards me by not respecting my gender identity and how I present myself.

"You are reconstructing the Roman ideal of masculinism" is actually the opposite of not respecting your identity.

Like it's weird that some women end up with a sexuality that's close to a guy in ancient Rome or Greece or a similar culture. But Humans are weird I guess.

And there are subtle differences like you get gay men (they identify as gay in this time period,) who are specifically into twinks but then this group can be broken up into the people who are more into femininity and the ones who are very averse to that and specifically into youth. Because there are people who like younger guys 'twinks' but if they have long hair or any obvious feminine charasteristics it turns them off. There are straight guys like this too but they're specifcially into tomboys who look young. Seems like a subtle variation.

I've been attracted to more masculine guys before at some points (fictional characters in TV shows and films,) and also a couple of guys irl with short hair before as a teenager so I think it's more that my sexuality is somewhat fluid but I have a very strong preference for certain traits and it's not specifically about guys being young and if anything that aspect is somewhat off putting. I feel like most guys I'm attracted to have been in their 20s, sometimes 30s and onwards but they have a very particular set of looks most of the time.

But yeah so it's very frustrating (unless you stop caring what people think entirely,) because dating androgynous men is hard because they stop existing after a certain age with rare exceptions and if you want to keep doing that you probably have to date people younger than you as you get older and age gap relationships even between adults are now Satan as we know from social media and the reaction to this film No Hard Feelings and tbf the premise of the film was messed up and I feel like the film itself portrayed it as a weird relationship like they didn't pretend this situation was OK but still it got backlash and even if the plot was entirely different like the parents weren't involved they just met at work or something and there was that age gap it would have been very controversial I think:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2QsifCG83w

Just found this video so apparently Brett Cooper isn't a fan either:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzGmgdqFSrE

The comments are kind of divided on it (I feel like the plot tbh complicates things further because it's obviously weird and intrusive for your parents to hire someone to help you have sex for the first time and this is actually something that does happen to some guys in particular. I've heard about this):

Jennifer Lawrence is proud that she was the first to make a movie like this.

Such a cool power feminist move! She?s such a bad [BEEP] 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Like technically it's legal, but, like, ewww?..

Also she tried to kidnap him, and flash him, which are both federal crimes no matter what the age is...

I'm 20 and I would die to star alongside her in a movie like this.

I dont understand why that movie upsets Brett. She also complained about Leonardo DiCaprio dating a 19years old women.

This absolutely blows my mind... I do agree if the roles were reversed and it was an 19 year old girl it probably would've caused an uproar.

roles have been reversed mny times, plus it is mainly men defending this

yeah but it is men that are defending this.

Jesus Christ everything is cancelable these days. Dude is a whole adult, are we still getting mad at gaps between two adults?

Oh my god some of these comments lol:

Probably my first video ever that I do not quite agree with Brett.
He's 19, that 's a consenting man and not "Grooming"
Yes she's much older but it's not necesarily illegal imo.

It's not necesarily illegal no it's literally not illegal anywhere to my knowledge yet.

So reading the cast's reaction:

"I think it?s time for a good old-fashioned laugh and it really is hard to make a comedy where you?re not offending people," Lawrence told Sky News on Wednesday. "Everybody in some sense will be offended by this film -- you're welcome."

Natalie Morales, who plays one of Lawrence's character's friends in the film, says that there are plenty of films that feature an older male star compared to a younger woman.

"Have you seen 'The Graduate?'" Morales told The Hollywood Reporter. "[Lawrence is] supposed to be playing an older woman. There are so many movies where the male lead is much older than the female lead, and TV shows especially, and nobody bats an eye. So what's the difference?"

There were in the past. But there wouldn't be now because people are insane. Even in the late 90s and early 2000s you could do this in a comedy like consider The American Pie films Stiffler's mum and the character who has just finished high school I think when they first have sex and then it's like a running joke in the following movies and yeah this was seen as a bit odd and framed that way but it didn't get the same level of backlash. This was a music video when I was a teenager (Stacy's Mum by Fountains of Wayne):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4

And to think back to how I felt watching this as a teen you know it wouldn't be legal cause that's a teen boy who is obviously underage or supposed to be (I don't know how old the actor is usually they get older people who look young to play younger roles,) but it's just portraying attraction and I thought it was sort of funny I guess at the time like 'plot twist he likes her mum.' She's not reciprocating it's inside his head. I feel like even that would definitely not be made now. And that was on TV all the time when I was a teenager. Cause I used to watch music channels for hours at times.

I think the last show to get away with doing this with a male and female character without notable backlash while acknowledging on the show that it was mildly controversial was Parks and Rec with April and Andy. I think April was 19 in season one and Andy was like late 20s or so but I think she's 20 when they start interracting romantically. So that show finished in 2015.

I can't remember if I posted my thoughts about this film before or not. I thought No Hard Feelings was a pretty sad film in many ways. It had a lot of drama for a comedy to the point where I think it tips over into a comedy-drama almost rather than a straight up comedy. (The trailer doesn't really include any of this.) The cringe parts were uncomfortable and not so funny. It was interesting as a kind of movie that reveals a cultural shift. It's very of this time - if it was made in the 2000s it wouldn't have been as serious as it was - and it reveals the huge chasm between the culture now and even in like 2010. It's also an interesting cultural commentary on both millenials and gen z I think. So it's an interesting film in a lot of ways.

Obviously other people have very strong feelings about this and culturally people are quite divided. Personally if you take out the weird parent stuff from this film plot or just ignore this film entirely I don't care about the age gap itself it depends about the maturity of the people in the relationship because 19 is a fucking adult. Or it's supposed to be.

Of course Florida recently created a law so you have to be 21 to work as a stripper. Not 18 anymore. The precedent for that was already there because the legal age of drinking in the US is 21 so in the US you're not really an adult until you're 21. And when you argue about this stuff people are like "you're so weird why do you want women to work as strippers" and I don't care what they do it's the fact that adulthood is being pushed to increasingly older ages legally and you don't have control over your body anymore because it starts here and before you know it you can't get an abortion or birth control or a vasectomy, or any surgery you might want to get in general when conservatives get into power in your state/country because conservatives might not like that. Especially if it's anything that gets in the way of reproduction - ironically because a bunch of them are not so in favour of adults having sex - and you're not really an adult anyway so they can make that case and push things in that direction when it suits them.

I remember when 16 was weird though it's legal to have sex at 16 in my country and when I was 16 I had a crush on a guy who was 20 or 21. I think 20 (this was the guy with the really long red hair btw.) He dated my 16 year old friend for a few weeks before she broke up with him. And my dad who heard about that called him a cradle robber and one time when I was in my mid 20s I think? I was probably about 24. I said online that I didn't think it was a big deal necessarily for someone 16 to date someone in their 20s depending on the maturity of the people involved and all that and in response to that some guy got really offended and hated me after that and called me a heartless psychopath (I think it was worse because he was attracted to me before then/) He called me a pedophile defender and things like that. And so now 19 is weird.

When I saw all the anti trans backlash I was saying for years like back in 2017 or so that they're going to push the age for adulthood to 25 in general and who knows where from there but at least 25. Because people were showing up to protests with signs saying 'you shouldn't be allowed to transistion until you're 25' and having melt downs about people even in their 30s who have medically transistioned. Someone aged 30+ in the UK who detransistioned who transistioned medically male to female in their 30s was complaining as though this choice was someone else's responsibility. I could just see along with the general infantalisation of my generation growing up where this was going. And we're seeing this happen very gradually but it is happening.

I really feel like we can't keep doing this. Especially for cis women because their reproductive life is over by like 40 and it gets harder after about the age of 30 to have kids if you want them. And you want to push adulthood to 25 or something? The risk of genetic complications etc also go up with age and so if you can have kids younger you should if you want them obviously. Not everyone can or is ready but do you really want to structure at culture where a 20 year old is treated the same way as a 10 year old that seems very unhealthy.

I suppose I might hope that this insanity at least pushes technological innovation around reproductive technology - artificial wombs, In-Vitro Gametogenesis - by necessity.

Of course there are people who think that age gaps in general are bad at any age if it's more than about 10 years.

And age gap relationships are more common in homosexual relationships actually than straight ones. I think in male relationships too but definitely in female:

Age-gap relationships between women are more common than you might think. According to one dataset, 18% of people in female same-sex relationships (to use the authors' language around gender) have an age gap between partners of ten or more years, compared to 4% of people in female-male relationships.

So this is all insane but technically that's a whole other topic than what I was wanting to talk about.

So yeah so there's the age gap thing which effects everyone and then after that you're not allowed to date non-binary people or trans women unless you have no preference that ends up aligning with sex assigned at birth cause you're a chaser and even then if you're bisexual some trans women will always be suspicious about you viewing them like men. There's also some difficulty with dating cis women if you're bisexual or haven't dated cis women before because they assume you're going to leave them for a guy or you want them to take on a male role (lots of complaints,) so even then it's like NOPE. And I don't really want to potentially mess people around either. And I don't really want to date most guys. It's just fantastic.

But that's why I think AI sex robots would be useful because people don't want to help you figure out your sexuality or 'experiment' or figure things out in general which is fair but sufficiently realistic robots might help but then maybe they wouldn't. There's still a difference knowing it's a robot and not Human even if hyper realistic.

And another interesting thing related to this is that Germaine Greer wrote a book that was really quite creepy about appreciating teenage boys called 'The Beautiful Boy' - especially creepy because the boy on the cover didn't give her his permission to be on the cover and she didn't ask him and he later didn't appreciate all the sexual attention especially from men that he got from his film career. And of course she's also a terf - in the classic sense not in the JK Rowling normie liberal cishet woman with kids who is transphobic sense.

The cover photograph, by David Bailey, was of 15-year-old Bjorn Andesen in his character of Tadzio in the film Death in Venice (1971). The actor complained about Greer's use of the photograph, saying it was used without his permission and was disturbed by the contents of the book. He stated "Adult love for adolescents is something that I am against in principle... Emotionally perhaps, and intellectually, I am disturbed by it--because I have some insight into what this kind of love is about."[212] Some writers characterised the book's nature as paedophilic,[213][214][215] with Greer herself admitting that she expected to be called a peadophile after publication.[216]

I don't know where she published the book. In Sweden the age of consent is 15 so I don't really know how this all works legally speaking but apparently that book was published and it must have been legal.

Has this fight been going on for decades? Probably a coincidence.

And Camille Paglia I think liked some of her writing but then didn't like other stuff. Can't remember what now though. But she also has some opinions on this topic too that she's changed over the years. Actually wanting to lower the age of consent and other controversial stuff. You know what this post is too long to quote stuff you can find all that info on her wikipedia page etc anyway lol.

She was again very inspired by the same kind of ancient European cultures like ancient Athens.

I thought it was a bit odd that she was so fixated on male homosexuality in general not just regarding this controversial topic when she was a lesbian but I've since realised this is not that rare actually especially with non-binary lesbians. There's a significant minority of lesbian women who consume yaoi and other m/m content too or even watch gay porn. She also kind of idolised bisexuality but I don't think besides some brief experiments really pursued men much. Her long term relationships were with women.

And also stuff like these Judith Butler quotes. I'm going to quote from something I was writing before when the forum was down because Lucy Neville wrote a book about women who consume m/m romance and I still haven't read it. From what I gathered from reviews and things people have said it's a very binary book and doesn't really address trans masc people in general or the overlaps there but yeah so I was looking at some websites about the book and apparently she quotes Judith Butler in her book and I found an interview with her thoughts:

https://www.artforum.com/features/th...butler-203347/

LK I'm curious that the examples you use in your own work, whether it's Tennessee Williams, John Waters, or Aretha Franklin for that matter, often come more from gay male culture.

JB I wonder if that's true. I like the histrionic. I have these two f***** cousins, one of whom thinks he's Olivia de Havilland. They were important to me growing up, in Cleveland, Ohio. And I had a gender-troubled uncle who was incarcerated at an early age, and it took us years to figure out that story. So probably a lot of my gay identification got formed through these men, and a lot of lesbian culture--women?s music, women's culture--always seemed extremely foreign to me. I also found, among gay men, a certain focus on pleasure and sexuality that wasn't always available in women's communities highly mediated by feminism, though it became increasingly available in the '80s.

The bolded is Paglia's take as well btw though she continued to have that opinion post 80s too.

A lot of people really hate Judith Butler and that reminds me that I need to watch this video at some point (I mostly find her work, I think I said before, boring. Or like I haven't bothered to read anything lol so I watched a video at one point of her reading from her work and it was incredibly boring and this is a topic which does interest me so that's saying something but she was very important in [BEEP] theory obviously.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Aul0vWIfTg

Paglia is weird ideologically though. I think some people refer to her as some kind of feminist but I really think that's just because she's a woman (sort of,) who writes about gender she had issues with basically all feminists and her writing is really more adj to stuff that manosphere writers might write now to the point where Bronze Age Pervert cited her multiple times in his book Bronze Age Mindset, but she was writing and talking about that stuff decades before lol so.

Though she has not transitioned, Paglia identifies as transgender.[63] She reports having gender dysphoria since childhood, and says that "never once in my life have I felt female".[64] She says that she was "donning flamboyant male costumes from early childhood on".[63]

I think radfems (including terfs but not all rad fems are terfs) fall into five vague groups and some people occupy more than one of those groups. This doesn't include other feminists, [BEEP] theorists like Judith Butler, other people who might get lumped into feminism even though some of them have similar ideas and would fit in here. I'm just talking about the old school lesbian/radical feminists subgroup (also the examples I give aren't a list of all of them just examples.)

There's the group who are like lesbian, bisexual and/or gender non-conforming women or otherwise are sexually atypical like Solanas and Germaine Greer.

There's a group who are like ex-nuns who later came out as lesbians and brought with them a bunch of conservative ideas like Janice Raymond and Mary Daly.

There's a group who lived as heterosexual for a while and then radically decided to change their image and come out as lesbians like Sheila Jeffreys and maybe Julie Bindel (it's hard to say because she always claims she's joking later at one point she argued that she chose to be a lesbian,)

There's a group who have had very abusive histories with men like Andrea Dworkin but also Solanas although her family denied abusing her and she lied a lot in general about her history and so I don't know it's very complicated in her case.

Then finally there are the schizophrenic radfems who often had some of the more interesting ideas probably because they were schizophrenic so they were thinking outside the box more (but to be honest I can't be bothered to read most rad fem writing lol so) which consists of Solanas and Shulamith Firestone (the latter was into artificial wombs and inspired cyberfeminism which came later.)

Makes for very strange bedfellows when you consider the huge variety of often conflicting opinions that every writer had. Which I guess led to the feminist sex wars in the late 70s and 80s. If you read Sheila Jeffrey's wikipedia page this is a position that Louise Perry has now and I think this is fundamentally conservative:

Jeffreys' argument that the "sexual revolution" on men's terms contributed less to women's freedom than to their continued oppression has both commanded respect and attracted intense criticism.[2][3][4][5] She argues that women suffering pain in pursuit of beauty is a form of submission to patriarchal sadism; that transgender people reproduce oppressive gender roles and mutilate their bodies through sex reassignment surgery; and that lesbian culture has been negatively affected by emulating the sexist influence of the gay male subculture of dominant/submissive sexuality.

Like they just circled back around to traditionalism and I also take issue with the idea that dominant/submissive sexuality is 'gay male culture' because there's some evidence (but not a great amount because no one does any research,) that shows that women are very into D/s themes in work they consume. My main issue with research on that is that because submissive sexuality is so common there's a lot of discussion about female submissives and massochism and how there's an imbalance with more male subs than female doms and I feel like the female dominant aspect is completely ignored and there's just no discussion about femdoms or female sadists. And I think a lot of people who might be doms/sadists in a different culture or even switches essentially just become voyeuristic now because of all of the social shaming and some of these people are on tumblr and I'd like someone to explore that. But I can see we're not going to get there lol with the current climate. And I have no personal knowlege on how to do that on my own and it also helps to have a large followerbase if you want to do surveys etc.

I'm very lazy too. Years ago when I was in discord servers to discuss sexology related to one very specific niche area that overlapped with trans people - not this - this guy who I talked to who was in all of those servers and ran most of them kept telling me to make surveys to answer various questions that I had and that we talked about and he would do this with everyone and basically nobody did. I think you do have to be very intelligent to be a hobbyist researcher though even in an area like sexology. Some people are formally educated but these people are like autodidacts. A lot of those people were very intelligent someone started uni at 14 and another person was employed as some kind of scientific researcher I can't remember what they were studying now but it was unrelated to this. And I'm like just there because of my special interest lmao. Not intelligent but also the laziness.

The only person who I think is really researching stuff related to this right now is Aella who is a hobbyist and maybe that guy I mentioned might research something touching on some of these ideas but his research is a lot more niche. Her focus is more generalised and so discussions she has with people end up focussed on the majority interests. So most women in her research are submissive that becomes the focus of discussion.

So non-conforming afab people essentially very few people are interested in researching. Some professionals have had a vested interest in not researching female fetishes etc in general too. A bunch of them have various ideological crap and other crap going on not just effecting this. That's what the guy I used to talk to has complained about more recently. You have some stuff like Lucy Neville's book I guess must discuss it a bit and the research papers I found on the Nisu subculture in China. Not strictly about D/s per se but about role reversal type stuff. And that's somewhat controversial too because it's 'recreating patriarchy.' Again. So that's fun.

I think this complaint below is broadly related to the issues the trans women on twitter were having regarding the 'Roman masculinism culture' thing and femboys. The Nisu thing is an extension or a spin off maybe of danmei works/culture which is like m/m and similar to yaoi and falls into the category of everything they dislike with the femboys and so on. The ideal aesthetics of these groups are different imo and one is created by and for women and trans masc people and the other stuff is for cis het men and cis het men are the least likely to consume stuff like yaoi and danmei (also like Western slash fanfiction has never idolised youth to the same extent as Eastern works and even the Eastern stuff has changed over time to be more diverse,) but yeah it gets into some weird sexuality horseshoe theory LOL where there are borders between groups that are thin unless you know what you're looking for.

https://lup.lub.lu.se/luur/download?...ileOId=9127116

Chen and Huang (2021) contend that the nisu cultural practice demonstrates the resistance and rebellious attitude of female nisu fans towards their own weak status. Thus, they choose to use gender reversal to express their discourse and fight for sexual freedom, indicating a transformation and progress in consciousness. However, the rise of nisu culture does not necessarily imply a structural change in the social construct. Although fan rights are often an "illusion of empowerment," and nisu fans' text creation and gender awareness are difficult to deviate from the discipline of traditional gender awareness. Furthermore, their requirements for male stars to be "young and beautiful" confirms this point. Additionally, Peng and Fan (2022) observe that although nisu fans intentionally imbue male stars with "femininity" and attempt to propose a gender identity metaphor with subversive potential based on gender-ambiguous bodies, this classification standard conforms to the traditional masculinity or femininity, thus strengthening the cisgender cultural construction of patriarchy.

I don't like how everything is always framed politically. And that feminist lens is pretty much present in everything written about this Chinese subculture btw. At this point there are several papers etc created since the 227 incident.

https://journal.transformativeworks....view/2369/3109

In this sense, some fans, including interviewee H, believe that Nisu is a small subcultural group that imposes members' fantasies onto idols without caring about the celebrities' own thoughts. Out of respect for celebrities, many Nisu fans would not even openly advocate for their own community on a large scale, which implies a sense of self-shame. Conversely, some other fans, including interviewee F, think that presenting the Nisu fantasy directly to idols is not an offense because they earn sky-high incomes, and a few words of fantasy should mean nothing to them. Regardless, peer surveillance remains a risk for these Nisu fans.

[5.1] Although Nisu fans attempt to challenge the normative heterosexual mode, they are fully aware of their own marginality, sometimes lack confidence about their fanaticism, and present a self-contradicting mentality. This is analogous to the creation of real-person texts (texts based not on fictional characters but on real people, both public and nonpublic figures) in the BL fan community, where real-person texts are rejected and excluded from the BL fan community because of moral issues, such as respect and politeness, regardless of the self-claimed counterpublic nature of BL fandom itself (Chiang 2016). In a similar sense, Nisu fantasy is likely to trigger moral panic, and there are concerns that the explicit sexual depiction of the male objects might disturb the real people, even though the fictional plots are only fans' imaginations. Thus, Nisu fans utilize the strategies of self-censorship and keep distance from the real stars in two ways: first, by limiting the sexual depiction in their texts to show respect and also to protect themselves; and second, by calling their idols alternative names and using codes when commenting or talking about erotic topics.

Speaking of real person texts. I try to avoid doing this but did end up reading some real person fanfiction recently and I wrote about that:

I tried hard not to read any [redacted] fanfiction and I managed for almost a year (and there's only a 114~ fanfics floating around anyway,) but then I got weak and:

#Glasses #Hair-pulling

[BEEP] you.

Now my entire morality has been compromised and I still don't have a dick.

It wasn't well written either. But there were several points that stuck with me.

My ultimate conclusion which was a bit dramatic (like this whole post is a bit dramatic) was:

I'm told that this is better than serial killers (tm) but it's hard to believe them.

In fiction I mean. I wrote some stuff that I didn't post when this forum was down.

There's a note about Twilight (cause I started watching Contrapoints' Twilight video which I still haven't finished watching lol,) I was comparing it to Anne Rice and how it pales in comparison in terms of controversy and the content so the moral backlash to Twilight was really insane to me as someone who read various Anne Rice books as a teenager. But I also mentioned how it's kind of interesting that Bella - spoilers if you haven't read or heard about Twilight by now - Spoiler: ends up as a vampire. Contrapoints points out that Edward is basically a serial killer - most of the criticism about him is that he's just abusive but he fits that archtype and he's killed people before. But then it's interesting because at the end as I said Spoiler: she becomes a vampire. That's part of the storyline. That's interesting symbolically speaking.

My exact thoughts were:

Have you noticed Bella becomes a vampire (serial killer,) in the end? Interesting isn't it? I wonder if she'll get to that.

And I don't know because I still haven't finished watching the video. But I assume not because although we sometimes develop interests in similar ideas/people etc along similar time lines I have a very weird way of viewing things that most people don't lol.

And then (I'm not a huge fan of the Twilight books lol but we don't need to get into that it's not because of anything I'm writing here,) I was comparing that end result to Clannibal fanfiction (Clarise/Hannibal.) And a very particular reading of that pairing (which was cannon in the books btw not the films,) where - this is like video essay material and almost entirely off topic. A particular reading where Hannibal is sort of encouraging Clarise to break free of institutions and also become more dominant I think which shows up in fanfiction for that pairing too and is emphasised a lot more. And to a lot of people that reading will seem insane (I've also only skim read parts of The Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal,) but it kind of makes sense to me and they had a similar upbringing where they were both brought up in orphanages but they followed very different life paths. There's a kind of weird egalitarianism too going on like in this quote from the book:

She could see that he was small, sleek; in his hands and arms she saw wiry strength like her own.

I also felt Hannibal and Clarice were a bit like Hades/Persephone and then I was curious if anyone else on the planet thought that and I found some fanart on Tumblr and someone was like 'that's such a unique take on that pairing' and I was like I totally get it. It's also the food thing sort of relates to food of the underworld that the Persephone/Hades myth has.

Even more off topic Grimes has a song that has song lyrics like this for some reason:



I could be your Hades and you could be my Persephone

When people talk about Solanas they really fixate on her misandry (yeah just segueing right back to where I was without concluding that other tangent) and you're left with the impression of 'oh so she hates men and wants to kill them' but when you actually read the book her manifesto is a lot more nihlistic in the end she envisions the end of the Human species essentially.

But that's not the interesting part of her writing imo. You read it and it's basically like 'drag queens are the happiest men' and 'if men were wise they'd find a way to turn themselves into women.'

I then wrote a lot more after this like an essay comparing BAP, Kaczynski and Solanas who all had similar personality types and their association with queerness and reactions to it and also in BAP's case his fixation once again with ancient cultures like Rome etc. But this post is already insanely long and honestly this post is already prob controversial enough I don't really know. Like I read everything and it seems impossible not to run into radical views if you use twitter now so it's hard for me to say.

Lol but I will I guess leave this quote:

Then to add to the Hades and Persephone symbolism even more 😀 lol. He goes on to talk about the 'gay underworld' which apparently you used to reach by having some 'artsy girlfriend' maybe:

This underworld included far more than the gays of that time, of course: that's the point. But the gays formed a kind of "bulk population" that allowed an easy bridge between this world and ours. They made it far more permeable to others as well: if you had girlfriend, maybe artsy girlfriend, she had ghey friend; you could go with them to lounge of this half-world, and there would be there - maybe two social contacts removed - there would be one of them. But now that this world has disappeared, you have no easy way of even knowing where to start.

He says that the 'current regime' started to be erected in the 1950s so this 'underworld' was destroyed by the 1980s because of the AIDS crisis etc which he brings up. But I think part of this is just the sexual revolution lasted a very short time. He only quotes Paglia so I don't know how familiar he is with feminism in general but as I said obviously the sex wars thing and that whole backlash started in the late 70s and went on through the 80s onwards.

I have numerous issues with all 3 of them and wouldn't endorse them in case it seems like I am because I am interested by their thoughts and have posted about them several times. Kaczynski seems the least bad in some ways from my personal point of view which is ironic because I'm very pro tech lol. I base that on the fact that he seemed less driven by self interest and a desire to be a pirate though. Solanas seemed very similar to Anne Bonny (17th century pirate,) but stuck growing up in the 50s and BAP literally brings up pirates as an ideal repeatedly in Bronze Age Mindset. He doesn't like the hero archetype. Much edge.

While BAP complains that society has become "something approaching [a] mass concentration camp," journalist Graeme Wood notes that BAP's classmates, many of whom were also fascinated by Nietzsche, have not been spiritually and socially crushed by the concentration camp's matriarchy and "bug men" but instead have gone on to success, holding "good jobs", and being married with families.[5] Wood also comments on BAP's tendency towards homophobia (use of "fag" and "facefag" as insults), while at the same time glorifying bodybuilding, posting of "images of half-naked white hunks in the flower of youth," and sending photos of himself shirtless to friends--practices frequently associated with sexual attraction to the same sex.[5] Bryan Garsten points out that Greek heroes were not all focused on male beauty and bonding, or warfare and conquest of inferiors.

I don't know the way that was worded just made me lol. I think also like this entire 'thing' is just ridiculous so there's that.

Whenever anyone writes about BAP it's always less gay than things he's admitted about his own sexuality in tweets and Bronze Age Mindset lol.

Critics argue: "You [BEEP] people make everything queer."

It's a curse and a gift but I honestly have to do minimal work with these 3.

[Nyctophilia]

Lol I had like several other posts I could have posted but this forum has come back online at the time I was writing this. So it's just more forever alone bullshit (well parts of it.) Oh my God. This is so uncool and I don't like this. Very ego-dystonic.

I don't have deep feelings I'm a reptile. Lol once years ago someone online asked me how I was so OK with being single and I said I wasn't really and I was surprised they had gotten that impression. I dunno though I mean it's only occassionally and it's not a serious problem for me because there isn't anyone. What's bad is when you have a crush on someone specific who isn't famous I find (not everytime, but I have had some bad ones.)

Also the rest of this post isn't better. It's all just bad.

I started reading some articles about Gary Numan and one of them went into how he and his wife met so started reading more:

Gemma was famously a fan of the singer before they eventually met and fell for one another.

"I was just a normal fan. My dad works at a record company. I met Gary when I was younger, when I was maybe 12, and then we would meet in air shows and take pictures together."

"In the year when I was 14 and choosing O-levels we had a careers talk at school. Me and my friend were the class clowns. She loved David Bowie the same way I did Gary. The teacher went round the class saying, "What do you want to do when you leave?", and we said, "We don't need jobs, we're going to marry Gary Numan and David Bowie." And we were promptly sent out of the room."

Apparently she also wrote to Jim'll Fix It asking if he could fix their wedding. Which is not great in hindsight (infamous pedophile in the UK.)

I wonder who I would have said back then. I mean in literal terms in the 2000s it was probably Billie Joe at that age? From Green Day hahaha he's been married to his wife forever though. Since like 1994 and this was 2005.
I've never been into either of them. David Bowie is my type on paper but by the time I discovered him he was so huge and in particular a huge sex symbol and I have hipster sexuality so I wasn't really that into him and these girls when I was at uni were like you've got to see Labyrinth 'Jareth is so hot I can't believe you haven't watched it' and it didn't work for me. Like I definitely can see how it would be and I feel like there was a
universe or something where I would have been attracted because I was super into Thranduil when the hobbit film came out which is exactly the same thing :



"a 1000 years is a mere blink in the life of an elf. I'm patient I can wait."

I watched YouTube clips of that line around 2013 or whenever it was so many fucking times. I cannot even tell you but it doesn't work on me now really. But that was some good chemical [BEEP] back then. Like crack cocaine. Now it's just like a great reaction gif for certain purposes. Funny how that works out.

Also cause this is funny:



I do love elves though.

But yeah Jareth no.

Am I using this post as an excuse to talk about fictional/famous guys I found attractive again? Obviously.

Like you can't play wing woman on me apparently not even for David Bowie. 😂

Also don't find Gary Numan attractive. But yeah if it was the 80s I mean who would I have gone with for back then if I was alive.

I mean there's obviously him right now lol and this video is from the 1980s:



He's so like compact you know? Like the hair is great and he's just this tiny powerhouse - he's not though he's actually much taller than me lol but the illusion.

Of course I'm not sure of the exact year in the 1980s she was doing her o-levels. It was definitely before 1988 because they were replaced by GCSE's then.

But he was already married then haha </3 I think it's cute that he's been with his wife since his early 20s though (I mean they got married when he was 23.)

I'm not always attracted to famous guys who have been married forever Steven Wilson who I've been attracted to on/off said he was never going to get married and then did in 2019 lol.

Also I don't want to think about non famous people I've crushed on lol. Well the last one is fine because I always knew nothing would happen there but there were like ambiguous cases where something might have happened if my life was in a different place or I made different decisions and that's not great. Although I think it wouldn't have worked in either case for other reasons but when you're alone for a long time you start to do that which is a problem. This is ultimately easier.

I feel like I'll probably never have a crush on someone who isn't fictional or famous again just because now I'm totally isolated even online really unless you count stumbling on people randomly on twitter or whatever who aren't famous and the last person I became curious about was that guy who I initially thought was a woman with the painting avatar with the feminisation interest which was kind of hot but he was a huge narcissist lol and at the point where you're planning to turn your future child into your ideal girlfriend it's just too much. All the other stuff I could have overlooked like he's a 30 year old virgin who has never been in a relationship (I mean I don't care about that anyway but evidently many people do,) and is lonely and hasn't really ever been employed (I've never been conventionally employed either,) but he's also as picky as me if not more from the sounds of it haha. So I wrote that off quickly (obviously otherwise I wouldn't have posted about him here lol.)

I don't know why I'm doing this like who cares if I did only find famous people attractive?

I'm curious to know if I was young then back in the 80s would I still be attracted to Geddy Lee lol or would there be lots of other distracting guys. Like if I didn't see their 70s videos at the time I guess not because I developed attraction watching those and not the older photos I'd seen of him over the years nor the more recent live show I watched when first getting into their music.

I think he looked attractive in the 80s too though so there's a chance.

It was a good time though you know more long hair also the keyboard player doesn't have significantly long hair but is still cute:



I think there's a better quality version of this video I watched before but I can't find it now if so.

Who exists now who I don't know about? Oh there was that YouTube short with the musician I clicked on but didn't watch where has it gone....

OK so that is probably a girl I wasn't 100% sure and more importantly can't discern age exactly so just glossing over that one.

Hmm? no. Too bull dikey

You're going to need to leave unless they're underaged in which case we're all going to have to leave. I clicked because of the thumbnail man.

Why is this happening to me. I mean this is what you get for doing that.

I checked out another video and I kinda like their music it has a nostalgic pop punk thing meets Deftones or something? (I'm not sure for some reason Deftones popped into my head but it might just be that the skateboards remind me of one of their music videos and the fact that I initially discovered Deftones while playing Street Skater 2 for the ps1,) Going on. And not in a way that's offputting like a lot of new stuff that tries to recreate that. It's very 2000s.

Trying to figure out if it's worse if I do or don't post a video at this point.

Out of Santa Cruz, California, the band includes Paige Kalenian (18 ) and Jax Huckle (17). Paige writes and plays everything melodic for the songs, and Jax fills in with drums, resulting in a sound equivalent to a 5-piece band.

OK well I guess it's not at all weird now. /s

Ftr I'm not really into her I was just curious because earlier I briefly glanced and clicked. I see a guitar and long hair I click. Also I was wondering what the title was about.



Ironic that it would be this song I guess. Because I am :')

This is because I've been listening to a bunch of Radiohead in the past few days lol.



I probably won't post my 'Radiohead post' now so just going to include this track because it's so amazing:

GARY NUMAN: I don't remember the first time we met. Gemma was about 11, and apparently her dad had arranged it, and she cried, but I have no memory of it at all.

So I can see why he would be defensive about it.

Every year when the concerts came round Gary would see me in the front row - I'd talk to him whenever I saw him. Then my mum got ill, in 1992, and I didn't go any more. Gary wondered why I hadn't been around, and found out from his mum, who runs his fan club, that my mum had died. And he rang me to see how I was! I didn't believe it was him. I dropped everything, and my dad came running in to see what the bang was. Gary asked me to go out for the day with him, just to feel better, and I said, "I'd love to, if you're really him." I arranged to meet him at Sidcup station, and I asked my dad to go with me in case it was a weird person. When I saw him in the car, I said to my dad, "Go home!" It's a shame it all started out of such horrible circumstances, my mum would have just loved it.

His mum runs his fan club?

She's always had a lovely face, but it was the way she behaved that made her stand out from everybody else. No disrespect to all the other fans, but Gemma had an air about her, she just stood out. She wasn't cheap, she wasn't pushy. She wasn't someone who wanted to get to you at any cost and do stuff with you at any cost, all that stuff that goes on. Her personality was very genuine and I always had time for her.

Yeah she might not have acted like that in front of you but like.

That was like her life goal from day 1. It's in this same interview.

Like the younger sisters:



But I assume she was good at doing Jane face in public or got over it a bit by the time they met.

And realistically that didn't matter and he just thought she was hot and she went to all his concerts so he noticed eventually. Let's be real.

Oh it's funny though. It actually does sound like some teen girls fanfiction but like IRL. :') And no offence to them but it's just mind = blown that this happened. Like wtf.

I feel like we're all just like Mary

Yeah I mean if picking a female character I'd want to say I'm Elizabeth because she's obviously 'the badass one' but realistically Mary yeah. This post is giving Lydia vibes though a bit and that's bleak. That's even worse somehow.

I retconned this video in my memory with the music that people add to those gangster meme videos from years ago because of the sunglasses:



I think this video is sort of edited that way but not with the music (tm):



I'm thinking of this track:

[Nyctophilia]

OK but this is her best deleted tweet.

literally one of her best I can't believe she deleted it

It's better because most people just ignore that Paglia said she was trans years ago lol. Actually Contrapoints has ignored that in the past too. I think I mentioned that in respone to one of her tweets before.

She still uses she/her pronouns though afaik or doesn't care.

I can see why she removed it though because she might be accused of grooming Camille Paglia lmfao. The idea that anyone could get a word in if you were to converse with Camille Paglia let alone convince her of anything is pretty comical.

edit: LOL





Also it's only funny because Camille Paglia's entire career was an attempt to cope. When I say funny I mean in a 'life is fucked' way. But I think she would have been even more obnoxious if she was a cis man or spent time passing as a man because well just read anything in the manosphere written by a guy lol. But especially Bronze Age Pervert because I used to compare her to Jordan Peterson but really I think Jordan Peterson is the feminine version of himself and she would be Bronze Age Pervert.

When Camille Paglia was an "obnoxious adolescent" of 15, she had what she describes as "this huge fight with a nun" in upstate New York. Ms. Paglia, 72, remembers the incident with clarity that suggests a lifetime of unresolved umbrage.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-femin...re-11567201511

Why does every non-conforming woman of her generation have a story like this with nuns? Also I hate when wikipedia cites sources that are paywalled. Is that even part of their policy? Very annoying.

Well it's just her and Solanas and I guess I did compare Solanas to BAP before. BAP quoted Paglia so many times in Bronze Age Mindset that I could have been convinced before he was doxxed that it was just Paglia messing around.

It's fascinating because you've been writing about - not bathrooms - but you've been writing about gender identity issues forever

Exactly because I consider myself transgender. I have never identified at all with being a woman that is the inspiration of my work. I was the first person to be writing about androgyny that was the subject of my work

She wasn't the first person lol especially if you consider fiction but even otherwise but yeah.

that was the subject of my papers in college of my dissertation Sexual Personae the whole thing is about androgyny and I'm an alien being in gender terms.

I generally forget Paglia is a lesbian but now and then lol:

Paglia is an atheist, and has stated she has "a very spiritual mystic view of the universe".[21] She has expressed interest in astrology and has written about it in several of her works, including Sexual Personae: "I'm an astrologer - people don't mention this! I mean, everyone's attacked me for everything else. I mean, I'm an astrologer - it's right in my book. I endorse astrology. I believe in astrology. Will someone attack me for that? No!"[22]

For reference:

Can anyone explain why astrology is so prominent among lesbians?

I'm a bit of a late comer to being a part of wlw communities, and it seems like at least 2/3 dating profiles prominently mention astrology.

Why? What's the appeal? Do this many people actually believe in it?

I don't mean to talk badly about it (you do you - whatever makes you happy), but it makes me a lot less interested in someone. It gives me the same vibes as religion in a lot of ways.

"I think star signs mean nothing. But I know you feel right so I'm coming" - King Princess

(For some reason I remember this line as "I think star signs mean nothing, but I can try if you like it." That's weird.)

Oh speaking of religion...

Is this whole discussion an APRIL FOOL??!!

Lol I completely forgot about April fool's day this year...

I thought Richard Dawkins was a hardcore atheist maybe moreso because of his followers but cleraly not that much when he's like 'I'm a cultural Christian'

Well I'm not and many aspects of the religion bother me more than the question of whether God does or doesn't exist. I don't want the UK to be a cultural Christian country anymore than I want it to be a culturally Islamic country which he is comparing.

No I have no interest in Christian nationalism.

I mean if your point is religions that treat women well as he brings up then obviously Wicca would make more sense. But he's really just focussing on this from a nostalgia + architecture pov.

Wicca doesn't appeal to more conservative minded people though and it's not patriarchal which is why it couldn't work with a significant chunk of people.

It's ironic but I think Wicca is probably one of the most popular religions that was actually created in the UK lol. I think Pagans are a slightly more popular demographic in census results but that's a vague identification and more of an umbrella term in general.

Do I think Christianity can somehow compete culturally actually? No because it won't appeal to young people. You will have to invent something new. It reached it's peak and it's done.

"If I had to choose between Islam and Christianity"

But you don't, and we shouldn't.

The amount of dumb comments on different videos discussing this. like this comment. It's a false dichotomy:

Christianity is better than islam. Yoy just need to compare their dogma. What are you, an islam simp?

Just the same way politics has gone but applying to religion. This is what ends up happening though when you nationalise a religion and don't seperate it from the state. Everytime there's another strong competitor floating around people rely on that force because they're weak and lack alternative culture.



He dismisses the fundamentalism of US christianity as though it's unrelated but Christianity in the US hasn't been defanged as much it's like getting complacent about vaccines because no one's getting a virus. Christianity can't act as some kind of defence against fundamentalist Islam only education, creativity, certain personality traits and an appealing alternative culture can. Islamic cultures have varied throughout time and regions of the world as well.

I could not believe what i was hearing in that interview? he complained that cherches are empty ?!!!!
He's probably the reason why they are empty!!!!
He has said before he's happy that people are leaving Christianity ..
I mean talk about no sense of irony

Yes I agree lol and Christians don't own architectural styles. The problem I assume is people aren't skilled enough and it takes a lot more work to build stuff like that now.

He fears for his safety if christendom fails to keep other religions at bay.

Yeah that's also true and it's a bit weak.

Anyway national religions are for people who aren't schizotypal or gay enough to invent their own.

People tend to think of the LGBT+ community as being a religion though that's dumb it does have a lot of cultural weight.

Going to invent a religion based around vending machines, arcade machines and cacti. Just putting random concepts together lol.

Actually there was a really cool arcade in London called Segaworld which I never went to open from 1996 - 2000 and then I think some other place called Funland rented the space until about 2011 then I think it became a hotel or something and now it's turned into a mosque so clearly this is an attack on the gamer religion lol. (Also in an LGBT+ area too lol which was apparently newsworthy.)









But unironically I think more buildings should be arcades.

I also find 90s video game aesthetics very nostalgic. It overlaps with liminal stuff too.



An arcade in London I went to a few times that I liked a lot also closed in 2021 after 25 years (open slightly less time than that Tokyo Sega arcade that was open 28 years.) Coincidentally for the same reason it seems building renewal not covid related. The remaining ones including one I've been to in recent years are a lot smaller.

But yeah if we have LGBT+ areas and we have Islamic areas and we have Christian areas we might as well have gamer areas and 4352525 other areas. Just promote everything as a religion and then nothing will dominate. At the same time there will be no cohesion and more fighting so can't win.



She brings up an interesting point in this video about how he's not talking about a sense of affinity with the real life Christianity of this country in many places now. Where a lot of the people who go to these churches are immigrants or children of recent immigrants.

In my hometown there's this shitty area where there are 3 churches or at least religious buildings in this small area (I guess in the US you might say block?) That are just these run down brick buildings that could be anything if not for the dirty signs on the side. They don't look like what you'd imagine churches look like. They blend in with the general bleak urban vibe.

You know what words don't do it justice. Thanks street view:



The fucking prison bars on the window. Why wouldn't there be? 10/10 really.

This isn't a church just another aesthetic shot of the area:





Can't get all the details into one screenshot:





And yes many of the people who go to these places probably are Eastern European and African immigrants.

I thought a while back it would be an interesting location for a music video or a photoshoot. Maybe something of the Ethel Cain meets Britain variety.

Dawkins is like 'Christianity' and he thinks:



He has a romanticised notion of an upper middle class English aesthetic.

I understand the appeal but Ethel Cain resonates a lot more despite being American for this reason:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K4sEj_Lsvo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu-t3tqDyAY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5lC-BXTTjw

Not sure what it is about this video but it speaks to me:



I mean there are several things I like that I could point out lol like parts of it remind me of nightwalking and recording/taking photos of stuff years ago but the emotional thing on top of that.

CH: I love when artists make things that are gimmicky and earnest at the same time, and I think you do that really well. There?s an ironic remove but it still feels confessional. I?m also wondering what you think about Lana Del Rey, I?m sure I?m not the first to draw this comparison.

EC: I feel so? I just get these comparisons a lot, and I cannot deny them. I just tweeted today that Born To Die was the first CD that I ever bought. I love Lana, I love her older music. Her newer stuff doesn't really resonate with me, but I'd be a liar to say I never loved Lana. Musically, I'm not super inspired by her, but I see where comparisons could be drawn. The music is deeper, sultrier, smokier. It's lazy and sexy while still having viper-like femininity.

But here's the line between Lana and me. Lana is all facade, she is glamour, she is old Hollywood, she is the peak opulence of the American Dream. And for me, I'm like, that's just not what America is to me. I think America is the bottom line - it's the poor people, the people who have been the most affected by the government, by the system. People who are constantly spat on. For me, the American Dream is not real - and if it is it's built on the backs of all the people who never see any profit. America, when you peel away the Lana American Dream of Marilyn Monroe, the American flag, and all of that? Look, I have an American flag hanging up by my bed, and it?s tattered and torn. I found it in the dirt of an abandoned place, and that's what America is to me, it?s scraps of a country.

There's a lot of people in this country who are suffering and getting the short end of the stick, and no one ever talks about it. When I grew up there were a lot of poor people, it was a poor town, and there was a poverty cycle that no one ever addressed. People love to distract themselves with the glitz, the glamour, and the money. But you're not doing anyone any favours by pretending this [BEEP] isn't happening. And I want to write about it - the people I see who are suffering while no one pays them any mind because it hurts too much to think about. That's what America is to me, the people who never get a break.

Like this music video:





^ lol yeah that was my favourite part of that song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxSO-QvZflI

Not really relevant because it's too clearly London but I like the lyrics.

Oh, hey, there, intrusive thoughts
We got off on the wrong
Foot back there, come on in
I'll put the kettle on
They're just intrusive thoughts
And maybe I'm not all that strange

Even a straight, mostly white, manly man like myself can't get enough of this woman's music. I might get drunk one night and tell all of the bros about you, but for now, you're my little secret 😂

Thanks for presenting your credentials

Lol.

Not this:

So I was going to post the track from the 28 weeks Later soundtrack 'welcome to Britain'

But lol then I had to know if there was a 'Welcome to Luton' track and I found a few. This one is basically just a glorified advert for Mcdonald's and a bunch of supermarkets though for some reason:



Mostly hip hop subgenres. That tracks a bit violent (not the one I linked. Not posting) You know you won't 'shoot the tourists' because I've only come across one story of that (though there are prob more,) who I was at one point 2 degrees seperated from.... Mostly you just stab each other all over the place including within hearing distance.

So you know what no. I'm not posting your song where no one is going to see it anyway lol.

I'll just link this band again because they're actually half decent:



Also of course (but they're very well known so):





'Gothic imagery has become ingrained into our society in recent years with programs like the vampire diaries'

Wow she was really reaching there lol

Also lol maybe the goth subculture didn't die like the others because goth doesn't die. I'm so deep.

The thing that made up the original literary genre predated the label and continues on.

Yes I still find it cool that one of the 80s goth + punk bands came from Luton lol.

Also it's interesting that Bauhaus came from Northampton and I just read that Eddie Branch from Northampton also ended up joining UK Decay back in the 80s as the bassist and also worked on this track:



Well the album but I've only listened to that track from it.

Uh there were some interesting overlaps in alternative culture in those two towns way back when. I didn't know this when I was in school when I was probably the only person who listened to The Cure and one of the only kids into rock music in general. Almost everyone was into pop and hip hop music and r&b. I think a couple of girls in another year who liked HIM might have been the closest lol. There was a tiny area in the indoor market that sold horror memorabilia type stuff I think and other random stuff but not really related. I would go all over trying to find alternative shops lol in other nearby towns etc but mostly would just go to Camden in London because that's relatively nearby and has tons of stuff.

Yeah we have normal churches here too and some mansions around. Diverse variety or architecture as with most large towns. But this is completely out of the realm of Dawkin's experience I think.

This is an article someone wrote in a online London based website after Luton won worst town in England yet again in 2023 (taking it back from Peterborough which I've never visited but often wins these things, but I believe Peterborough is once again the worst town in England in 2024.) I don't think there's an official survey lol just polls etc that people constantly write about.

'I worked in Luton for a year and I don't believe for a second that it's the worst place to live in England'

I'm not saying it's amazing but Luton is... not that bad

That's the nicest thing anyone's said about Luton in decades.

The rumours are true it's not 'that bad.' But mostly just because part of this album was recorded in Luton (which is one of the best things to ever happen here):



I don't know what specifically but part of it.

The joke goes: What's the best thing to do in Luton? Leave. But that might be true as the fact that Luton is closer to London than a lot of London is to other bits of London means it's great for commuters.

Lol I've always said this though. There's a lot of ways to leave so that aspect is convinient besides how expensive train tickets are.

But Luton is a surprisingly good town for creatives, The Bear jazz club is a great place to get a drink and listen to some blues, while the town's old hat factories are being repurposed as a artistic hubs.

It's not surprising actually lol... Jordan Peterson explained this once:

Here's a way of thinking about artistic and creative people from a biological perspective. So imagine that the world is basically an explored territory inside an unexplored territory. [..]Conservatives like to be in the middle of things that are known and they master that space and they're good at maintaining it. But the artists like to be right out on the edge and that's the edge between chaos and order and they like to expand the dimension of order out into the chaos. [...]

You can see very concrete examples of this if you think about what creative people do in cities. They always do the same thing. So they're starving to death and this is partly why but they go in a city and they look at some ratty area that's sort of quasi-criminal and it's seen better days and they go there and they think. You know with a little work this could be cool and so they rush in there they build some galleries and show some art, and they civilise it a bit and then a coffee shop pops up and then the next thing you know the yuppies move in because they're sort of creative but also conservative so they're the next ones into the frontier and then the developers show up and they kick all the artists out but that's OK because then the artists go off and rejuvinate some other area and that's what artists do.

[Ironman]

Yay, I am back on steroids for my eyeball! *sarcasm*

[Nyctophilia]

Most gender-confused children grow out of it, landmark 15-year study concludes - as critics say it shows being trans is usually just a phase for kids

With a vague enough definition of trans and a vague enough defintion of unhappy 19% still isn't great.

"19% is most" - The Daily Mail

This is like that infographic that said "1 in 4 homeless people are women" lol.

35 articles about trans people in half a week from just 3 papers

The other day I read "eventually there'll be more transphobic articles than trans people" and I can't stop thinking about it. I genuinely think we've already crossed that point

There are probably a few thousand now in the UK press and there are:

48,000 trans men and trans women (I don't know how there's exactly the same number of each I think they must have rounded up/down because that's weird.)

and 30,000 non-binary people

That's people age 16+ not anyone younger than that but that's going to represent the majority because despite what people say there really aren't that many trans kids.

So even with the most inclusive definition of trans that's about 126,000 people out of 66.97 million.

Apparently we're one of the most powerful forces on Earth though (the 'LGBT+ community,') so it makes sense.

Russia adds "LGBT movement" to their list of terrorist/extremist groups.

Didn't they do this already?

I thought that was a while back.

Apparently invading Ukraine, threatning to nuke several countries didn't get Putin enough attention from senpai hahahaha.

I mean you lost all credibility when your government started freaking out about The Sims. Making it an 18+ game, saying you have to make a rival game because it's too popular. And imagine picking this point in The Sims history/lifespan to say that lol. But it's true The Sims 4 is somehow, the most popular title in terms of sales... Definitely not the best game in the series.

You can't come back from that. We own you. Collectively.

Simmers of course not the LGBT+ community.

Remember the time:



Also more insanity:

Courts begin convicting people displaying symbols associated with 'LGBT movement' designated as extremist last year

So they're just going to arrest anyone who happens to have anything rainbow coloured?

On Thursday, a court in the southern region of Volgograd found a man guilty of "displaying the symbols of an extremist organisation" after he posted a photograph of an LGBT flag online, according to the court?s press service.

The man, known only as Artyom P, who was ordered to pay a fine of 1,000 roubles (?8.69), admitted guilt and repented, saying he had posted the image "out of stupidity", the court said.

and I thought the UK was stupid with this kind of thing lol (and it is.)

Lol 'repented' so they also require you to apologise?

On Monday, a court in Nizhny Novgorod, east of Moscow, sentenced a woman to five days in administrative detention for wearing frog-shaped earrings displaying an image of a rainbow, according to Aegis, an LGBT rights group.

"So they're just going to arrest anyone who happens to have anything rainbow coloured?"

Yes. Yes they are.

Taking the piss a bit now. They clearly just have a fetish for arresting people.

The woman was called to the police station after a man filmed himself approaching her in a cafe and demanding she remove the earrings, and posted it online.

Shouldn't he technically be arrested too for posting images of her earings lmfao?

How are so many Humans so pathetic?

Looks like Tumblr and 4chan own you now too. They like frogs so.

In fairness they are powerful witches.

They're cute too:



I like mushroom stuff and frogs

Ershov tried to defuse the situation, but the attacker threatened to report her to police. Hours later, the video was posted to Russia social media, including by the misogynistic and pro-war Russian blogger Vladislav Pozdnyakov.

"Come on, take down the flag, b*tch,"the male attacker says in the video as he rips the Ukrainian flag badge from the male victim's sweater.

Pozdnyakov is a proponent of a fringe movement known as Male State, which glorifies white Russian men while denigrating women, non-white individuals, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Last year he wrote on his blog that "feminists and LGBT activists are bio-garbage" and "psychologically sick people who have no place among normal people," according to RFE/RL.

Lol this paragraph was redundant it's obvious what ideological operating system they've installed. These guys have many enemies (most of the planet.)

Bio garbage I like this better than 'spiteful/genetic mutants' it sounds like a cybergoth band.

I'm a big fan of Russian men though don't get me wrong:



Lol I like how he just keeps going around in circles. Who the [BEEP] cares? Then he drops the nazi crap by complaining about 'Weimar'

"Dressing up as a woman that's gay"

You know what's gay? Your aesthetic a lot of gay men love that:



"You work in an environment full of sweaty men so who's in the gayer environment"

He's right too the builder aesthetic in particular is very gay because of the village people. Double gay - maybe even triple gay (King Princess is non-binary so that adds an extra gay):



"Where's Jesus when you need him"

Fucking Satan I think. A fanfic told me that.



I'm so glad he asked though:

"I'm not an atheist like I'm a big fan of Jesus Christ there's no one more thin or vulnerable than Jesus Christ and he's bleeding as well that's very clever of them." - Simon Amstell.

"What would your ancestors say about this?"

Well Jesus hung out with prostitutes and outcasts.

He's into Jesus and the Roman empire? Seems confused.

He's so shocked that he dresses up in front of his girlfriend lol.

That guy he's talking to just seems to be really dumb. Like actually a himbo.

"Don't be a girl that's gay"

"So being a girl is gay. I will tell that to my girl tomorrow that she is gay."

Science actually does agree with him ftr:

Gay women tend to be exclusively sexually attracted to women, while straight women are more likely to be aroused by both sexes, a study says.

So technically if you take this seriously, by not dressing up as an attractive girl sometimes you're really just reducing your power level.



Lol this video has the same energy as that one with shoe:



But obviously shoe is a femboy.

I'm surprised she kept that up they broke up in 2020 and she's married to some consrvative guy now. It's funny though so glad she did.

a day.. i seen a documentry where a woman did it for a week or a month maybe i cant remeber she got depressed by how alone she felt WHAT A NOOB

Nah I think it was over a year (yeah 18 months) and the experience led her to admitting herself to a psychiatric facility but she had treatment resistant depression before that experiment and mental health issues dating back to the 90s. I think she attributed some of that to ssri use and she eventually died by assisted suicide in 2022.

MRA's like to say passing as a man killed her but that's sort of like the trans community saying Kurt Cobain commited suicide for gender reasons when he had chronic pain issues and several family members who commited suicide over several generations.

Oh man this comment I found on reddit is so dumb (it got downvoted tons too lol he came to the wrong place because it's an MRA sub and that's not the energy they're going with lol. Killing the vibe) his flair is 'steroids mostly solve men's issues' but it doesn't solve the issue of me not finding you cute and/or attractive and I'm going to make that your issue (collectively as you're one of many as am I):

Counterpoint: It's hard for a woman to be a man.

I think men are actually ok with things like living more dangerous lives. I think men don't actually need to assistance women receive. For example, when going through [BEEP] men want to be alone and women seek out that attention. I think men take pride in successfully living more stoic lives and making it through.

She was a butch lesbian though so it's not really the same.

Men will sign up for dangerous [BEEP] like military special forces and shit. They'll kind of get off a little bit if they're walking in a dangerous area and get the opportunity to stare someone down. They like things that are dangerous, difficult, and reward bolt acts of individual resilience and courage. It really takes a pathetic sort of loser to be upset that you can't cry in public.

You sound like you're turned on by masculinity and turned off by femininity.

And already we have an issue because of the bolded part.

"Vulnerability to me is quite sexually appealing. I don't know if you- you know there are people who are more like. Well we know what we're doing, we've done it before, we'll do it again, everything's fine. To me it's much more sexy if someone's a bit more 'oh I feel faint' you know. It's hot right?" - Simon Amstell.

I do know. At least every now and then not perpetually or that might be a good time to see a doctor.

And this standup is perpetually relevant.

Women are not like men. They very rarely like to do things that men get off on or fantasize about or would do if he were brave enough to do it. They like being able to cry in public if necessary. Women will cream themselves at the fantasy of being a damsel in distress who gets rescued from something scary, whereas men would find that humiliating.

From this lesbian woman's perspective, she received none of the perks of being a man. If anything cool happened to her, she probably found it scary and stressful... when that was supposed to be her reward for being a man. She probably felt exactly none of the aversion men feel towards being treated like a woman.

I don't think this person has ever met a lesbian which is weird because he's talking about a butch lesbian as though she's a feminine straight woman and even a lot of straight women would find being rescued humiliating tbh. He clearly missed the whole Anita Sarkeesian gamergate episode of the internet - which is definitely for the best lol.

While 'living as a guy' she spent time in a monastery where people assumed she was a gay guy whose experiences are very different to straight men so she was ostracised and ultimately felt dissociative and like she was watching herself play a role. She didn't like that she was lying to people either. So these things also effected her experience. There isn't a singular male or female experience and she wasn't really living as a straight guy.

She didn't even get to have male biology, which let's be real is like the most badass steroid in existence. Men are basically to women as super heroes are to men.

Yeah well I'm genetically female and not even on testosterone and I saved one of my male housemates from a spider once and he called me his hero so. And he was probably cuter than you too lol.

"Oh I never feel fear or anxiety because of my hormones look how amazing I am."

Sounds like a cheat code. Go on estrogen and try to accomplish anything:

I've been on HRT around 3 years(E only, never needed AA) and I've struggled at times with keeping myself motivated about personal projects and work. I eat right, I get plenty of sleep and exercise but I just feel like I'm not as motivated to do things as I once was. I had some blood work done recently and my thyroid and other tests were normal. My T was 87 which is in the normal range for women.

I've never been a lazy or unmotivated person and it's very odd to me that I have so much I want to do and little or no will to do it. [...]

I'm currently going through a period of about 6 weeks now that I just don't want to do anything. There are plenty of highly motivated CIS women that don't have issues like this so I don't think E is to blame directly.

oh I have felt this way for sure. Been on HRT for 5+ years and slowly losing motivation to do a lot of things. There's no way to really pin point the issue.

For example, I have plenty of videogames to play, but now I really have to be in the "mood" to want to play a game. Before I would just play games all the time. Maybe it's just part of getting older too? It could be a lot of things :-P

Nah it's probably related in a lot of cases. People just don't want to talk about that because they worry that if they do 100% of teen girls and Aella will go on some form of steroid and also I think this isn't something a lot of people have really thought about much in the first place. You're going to have to struggle with yourself more now imo.







"Never thought this is how it would end for Aella" comment is hilarious. I also feel like the person who was talking about their SO was talking about a guy and didn't read the tweet properly cause I don't think women generally take t for age based reasons but if they're a rationalist (who generally do weird experiments with themselves,) anything's possible.

Tbh I find her doing this entertaining because conservatives and similar people get freaked out and it's a refreshing counterpoint to the general discourse trends since even trans guys aren't on testosterone that much:



I'm hypothesising that that's part of why women on average have higher conscientiousness I think... To compensate for low levels of testosterone.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3149680/

Women score somewhat higher than men on some facets of Conscientiousness, such as order, dutifulness, and self-discipline (Feingold, 1994; Costa et al., 2001).

Like if the women who get stuff done generally speaking are high in trait conscientiousness when you do personality surveys. They succeed in school, work, other areas assuming they have the skills/intelligence to.

Conscientiousness is one of the five traits of both the Five Factor Model and the HEXACO model of personality and is an aspect of what has traditionally been referred to as having character. Conscientious individuals are generally hard-working and reliable. When taken to an extreme, they may also be "workaholics", perfectionists, and compulsive in their behavior.[2] People who score low on conscientiousness tend to be laid back, less goal-oriented, and less driven by success, if they also score high on Big Five Agreeableness; otherwise, they are also more likely to engage in anti-social behavior and commit blue-collared crimes and crimes of passion.[3]

The extreme end of the bolded (being very disagreeable and very unconscientious,) probably creates the 'low functioning psychopath' personality type. You're getting more women with this personality type now I think which is why the rate of female violence and antisocial behaviour has been increasing globally.

I personally don't have high levels of conscientiousness (when taking surveys,) and have always struggled with motivation a lot, and the combination of being low t (because afab,) and having that combination appears to be a nightmare for produtivity also fixating on stuff that's just not very useful but that interests me a lot (some ADHD symptoms. I feel like I'm too risk averse to be a stereotypical case of that disorder though.)

I think It's prob why bisexual women are failing at school more often and dropping out too and part of why they earn less money (another thing people don't talk about much due to the tendency to discuss gender based on straight people and to erase bisexual people entirely,) lower levels according to personality research:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32510233/

Results showed that bisexual individuals reported higher levels of openness than homosexual individuals, who in turn, reported higher levels of openness than heterosexual individuals. Bisexual individuals also report lower levels of conscientiousness than both heterosexual and homosexual individuals.

Uh atm in the US gay men seem to be earning the most (but research is mixed and changes over time,) which if you set aside how discrimination factors in makes sense potentially if you imagine they're higher in conscientiousness than straight men and have higher testosterone because male.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_wage_gap

The gay wage gap is the pay gap between homosexuals and heterosexuals. In the United States, men in same-sex marriages have a significantly higher median household income than opposite-sex married couples: $123,600 and $96,930, respectively.[1] Individual gay men earn 10% more than straight men with similar education, experience and job profiles,[2][3] and individual gay men who are married have a significantly higher median income than heterosexual married men.[4] Because of the gender pay gap, same-sex female couples make less than heterosexual married couples.[5] For women, same-sex married couples earn roughly the same as opposite-sex married couples, which tends to fluctuate by the year.[1][4]

Sex moderation effects showed that homosexual men scored higher than heterosexual men on neuroticism, agreeableness and conscientiousness, whereas homosexual women scored lower than heterosexual women on extraversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness.

So lesbian women are lower in conscientiousness than straight women, but gay men are higher than straight men.

Yeah.... I've mostly been attracted to men and so I think having the personality type I ended up with which seems like 'worst of both worlds' (very neurotic and unmotivated,) was unfair. And I want a refund. Are you listening God?



Although straight guys are also failing at school... Lesbians at a similar rate to straight men and it's gotten worse over time in some areas (like lesbians used to get more degrees than straight women, now they get less,) but there can be multiple things going on at the same time and even nationally since a lot of research is localised. Plus some people argue there are generationally lower testosterone levels I suppose.

I can't attribute too much to it though as my straight cisgender brother is similar to me in many respects (I've been slightly more succesful than him academically since he got worse GCSE results and dropped out of university in the second year where as I graudated with the lowest score possible he stayed living at home which I don't think helped,) and I think we both have personality issues and possibly undiagnosed ADHD (so personality issues. Poorly calibrated for current environment either way.) Seems to be an extended family issue too.

Also going back to the 'superhero thing' I'm LGBT+ and we evidently scare Putin lol (but so do teen girls and video games that appeal to teen girls, women and LGBT+ people, but then again teen girls are the most powerful people in the world so I mean they should.) I could make a lot of guys uncomfortable by going on testosterone so my voice drops and just talking to them while presenting in a feminine way. Or just painting something they own pink.

I don't really blame them though I'm not a huge fan of pink and I don't like it when my aunt who doesn't really know me now gets me Christmas presents that seem like they were for my 6 year old self (who was girly,) and always gets my brother stuff he'd like because he's a stereotypical guy in most ways.

So nah lol. You're not a superhero because you're a cis guy. Only Human.



This band came up while searching. They have a song called Human but this song is just better:





80s music is so great. That's another reason you can't be a superhero where is the cool music? All I'm seeing is a cringe reddit comment. I'd say more like a super villain but super villains are fabulous or divas (see: bisexual especially if female in the batman universe,) in general and you're definitely not fabulous. I guess you could be Thanos or something he's butch. And you seem butch camp. He got beaten once by Squirrel Girl.

That post was so egotistical though lol. Generally I prefer narcissists (besides myself of course,) who post a lot about how every guy should do steroids to have autogynephilia not autoandrophilia (I'm saying this as a joke mainly not officially 'diagnosing people,') like that guy with the website who fetishises femininity and lowkey seems to want to be a woman. He's also posted about how every guy should do steroids to fix their issues. But the important part is that he seems to be consumed in some (partly) unconscious sense by his idealistic romantisations that are in conflict with his general values like some kind of fictional Victorian crossdresser. Now that turns me on.

Also for what it's worth afaik that guy is on steroids (the guy who likes feminisation,) and it might actually be contributing to his 'femininity thing.' It seems to be an obsessive focus. Sometimes people give guys advice like 'go on testosterone to cure your desire to be feminine' because it will make you more masculine but this seems counterproductive if your desire to be feminine is attatched to your sex drive.

Anyway. There can only be one:



and it's Sheogorath.

I decided the winner of the competition you can stop now.

The new game is trying to be the best skinny musician with long hair. This was a randomly selected competition and purely coincidental.

I'm experiencing an issue where YouTube keeps suggesting me short clips of hot male musicians with long hair and then they turn out to be women:



It's fine I guess you'll just have to be a guy now. I mean I usually imagine the guys I find attractive are women so that seems fair. #genderequality.

Oh wait I just realised who that is. I have heard of her before. She had a pretty tragic life and struggled with anorexia and died of heart failure in the early 80s.

Why is stuff like this always happening to me?

"But won't there be too many musicians? We need people to do other stuff...."

Nah that's what AI is for. This was Solanas' plan the whole time with automating everything and destroying the money system you see. So disgusted by Andy Warhol's soup can art was she that she had a mental break and forged a plan no I need to stop lol.

Tbf I think that reddit comment was either written by a 12 year old or the corny American guy (tm) who was talking to Vlad in that video lol.

Edit: Tangentially related to that reddit post but there's a lot of misunderstanding of how butch women think. Within the trans community too like the response to this thread was 'all women feel this way' but they don't and 'find some butch women' but some butch women feel insecure about not being more masculine. The insecurity is a fairly common distinction so I can see why people would assume. Most women will worry about not being feminine enough and most men will worry about not being masculine enough, but it's not universal:

Tell me if I am crazy for this:

Sometimes incredibly feminine, expressive gay men (the stereotypical type I guess) make me feel insecure about not being super geminine.

It's like a stupid little voice in my head says "they're more feminine than you and you're supposed to be trans!" It's almost like I'm worried someone would assume I'm cis by comparison if I were stood next to a James Charles type.

Or sometimes it's triggered by depictions of trans women in media like movies or tv shows where they're super girly and cute and fun and bright and pink.

I look to girls more like me who are introverted, antisocial maybe, generally a bit sarcastic and like to do things quietly and dress a bit alternative. That's not seen as feminine and so I'm not seen as feminine.

Idk I'm not really making any sense now. I guess sometimes I just feel this pressure to be what someone expects of a woman. Like "okay you were born a male, now REALLY show me you?re a female".

Take heart. This pressure to perform femininity is something that all women feel. And men don't feel it at all. Boom. Validated.

Find some butch role models. So you can emulate them. So you can understand your more masculine traits as an extension of your womanhood.

Godspeed, Lady

She's kind of clarified in the OP though that the issue isn't with being a woman or being seen as a woman but specifically wanting to be seen as feminine inspite of people not viewing her that way.

Not all butch women feel that pressure to be feminine because they want to be masculine and seen as masculine. Like here's an example I just quickly found:

I am a young butch lesbian (15, almost 16), and I am tired of being so insecure about how masculine I look, if I am being way too feminine... I truly like the way I am and I identify confidently as butch, since I resonate a lot with the history, I present mostly masculine and use masculine pronouns as a woman (I use any). But for some reason, there's this voice in my head telling me that I should change my mannerisms, cut my hair, or change my personality!

Because I am not like the older butch lesbians I admire, they are strong and independent and I feel like a little sensitive and emotional girl.

Do more young butches struggle with this? Older butches too?

You see the insecurity comes from being too feminine and feeling like she should cut her hair + comparing herself to older butch women who generally have shorter hair.

I am an older butch. I have medium length hair, am short, and am definitely in touch with my emotions.

Look, there's lots of ways to be masc or butch. You don't have to be the most mega diesel stone top butch who ever butched to be butch. It's normal to have a mix of 'masculine' and 'feminine' traits. It's actually unhealthy to not have emotions, or to be insensitive. Sensitivity is good, even if it is painful at times.

Independence is tough. You're not legally an adult yet. Fair or not, you can?t be independent until you are a little older. That isn't about your identity, it's about your age. It's fair if you want to make a wish list of life skills and work on developing them (basic DIY / repair, cooking, financial literacy, etc?) That way when you do hit legal age, you will have a head start on independence.

But dependence is not terrible. I would be lost without my wife. It?s ok to need someone sometimes.

I used to think I couldn't be butch if I didn't cut my hair. Then someone pointed out that long-haired Butches are a real thing that exist and now I feel more comfortable with my decision.

Some might say it shouldn't take that kind of external validation, but I say sometimes it does. There's many many different ways to be butch, you're doing fine as you are.

It's interesting because I kind of get a similar thing but I don't compare myself to butch women exclusively. I compare myself to cis guys a bunch too and sometimes other non-binary people.

Then there's this bolded part which creates issues:

"You'll always be feminine"

I (22) ended up telling my mom yesterday. It went pretty well, and I guess I'm just relieved I wasn't cut off from the family.

During the call, she told me I don't seem like a lesbian because I'm "so feminine". This came as a surprise to me, since I've had short hair since high school apart from a brief period of insecurity where I grew my hair to my shoulders. I started wearing men's clothes in high school and have never worn makeup regularly. Tbh, I was always awkward about fashion and felt like I was playing dress-up (badly) when I had to wear women's clothes. I hate looking back at those pictures. I've always been really touchy about this--I have a lot of dysphoria around my chest, hips, and voice, and for a while ID'ed as trans and used he/him with close friends. I've been binding since I was 16. I remember telling my parents when I was ~7 or 8 that I considered myself a tomboy, and they laughed at me and told me not to worry, I'll always be a pretty girl (I wasn't worried). I've been told, unprompted, by multiple people that I'll always be feminine no matter what I do.

Obviously this is really, really painful for me. Not sure why so many straight people feel the need to "reassure" GNC people that they're not GNC. The reasons they said I'll always be feminine are that (1) I'm small (5'0), (2) have 'feminine features,' and (3) am very gentle/soft. I can't help any of those things. I can't change my height or my face. I'm hoping aging will help with the face because I do look very young. (Even there, I don't get the feminine features thing. I'm regularly mistaken for a 12yo boy). I've had bad anxiety for as long as I can remember, and it's true--I'm really quiet, don't take up much space, and don't like to draw attention to myself. I'm working on it. I was great at sports growing up but preferred arts, and ended up quitting sports due to a combination of chronic pain and dysphoria. I climbed trees all the time and was reasonably athletic, but I was never a loud or rowdy kid. Honestly if I'd known that would be used against me so much, I might've stepped it up a notch lol.

I'm finally comfortable being butch, and I feel so at home in it. Realizing I'm butch has been healing for me. Her comments yesterday really hurt and confirmed a ton of my insecurities. She begged me not to start wearing men's clothes, but I have been this whole time? Sure, they're from the boys' section, but I'm really sad that whatever I put on my body will be read as "pretty girl" and it hits me with overwhelming nausea and disgust. I feel like my height is a big issue, and I swear that if I was exactly the same but 5'6+, no one would read me as ~so feminine~. I was hoping that by this point I'd at least be seen as androgynous. Has anyone heard similar comments? Any advice? How can I feel okay?

This is kind of an edge case because they id'd as trans for a bit, but you will probably find a bunch of people like this in the butch lesbian community anyway.

Also other cases:

Does anyone else experience people assuming they want to be feminine even when no part of their self-presentation would imply that you want to look feminine at all? Like for example, numerous people have told me (completely unprompted btw) that I don?t need to worry about having short hair because my facial features are still so feminine, so I don?t have to worry about my short hair making me look masculine at all. Another example is when I went shopping for new glasses, I was dressed entirely in masculine clothing with short hair and the guy working in the shop told me twice that I was accidentally shopping in the mens section which obviously I said I knew and didn't care to which he replied "I just don't want you to end up with a pair that's too masculine for you". Like I don't get it, I present myself so masculinely and people still feel the need to reassure me that I look feminine. When I actually dressed femininely, no one ever made comments telling me how feminine I look, this only started after I started dressing masculinely. It starts to get very discouraging because I was never allowed to dress masculine as a kid and now that I'm an adult I can finally express myself comfortably and people still feel the need to assure me I look feminine. Any one else get this? Any insight about why this may happen?

It's wild how quick people will scramble over themselves to make sure they tell us that it's ok, we're still pretty, like it's a compliment. Like it's an accident I dress and present myself the way I do. I don't really understand it, but I think it's supposed to be reassuring to us? May the record also show that I'm not actually especially pretty, so there must be another angle. I've had people mistake me for a young boy, then trip over themselves in the rush to tell me how pretty I am when they realise their mistake lmao.

I think it happens because they feel it's an insult to a woman to perceive her masculinity. I think it?s weird to butch women because we often actually like being misgendered because it means our masculinity is seen. I will say quite a few people don't like being misgendered so they're erring on the side of caution and/or projecting their own feelings about their own gender onto you/your clothing choices.

A lot of men go out of their way not to wear clothes/items that would be associated with women. The rules for men are a lot stricter in that respect. So my feeling is the glasses guy was projecting that discomfort with opposite gender glasses onto you -- what he meant was he wouldn't want to be seen in glasses someone associated with womanly things.

But you can see it is the opposite from what people expect. 'Oh they're women so obviously they must be insecure about not being feminine enough.' Like they want to be feminine inspite of how they present and comes across. No because the rules are completely different and they often enjoy not being seen as feminine and from what I've noticed when they do express insecurity about that it's generally because they find femme women who are only attracted to other femmes. like this:

Literally every time I see a fem lesbian talking about butches online they're always complaining about how they act too much like men or how they like "feminine energy." Even the masculine women that they do praise are literally just normal looking women with a wolfcut meanwhile I look like Mr Clean. I got way more attention from women when I looked feminine than I do now looking very butch and obviously queer. I feel like I can't escape the suffocating pressure to be feminine even within my own community. I don't want to sound like an incel but it's so frustrating. There's nowhere I belong. I'm weaker than the weakest man on earth but women seem to view me as an asexual being and a threat at the same time.

A lot of people had different experiences to this which they responded in the comments though ftr (like one woman had a feminine bisexual sister who prefers feminine women who has a harder time dating than her,) and other butch women who don't have problems dating irl.

Big time. Being around guys who are happily more feminine than I feel I'll ever get to be just breaks me. It's not that they've done anything wrong, I just can't handle that, so I distance myself.

It's not even like I'm trying for that look either. I prefer my jeans and band tshirts. But it still just hurts

I don't think this is something I experience as an every day thing. I don't experience envy often in a strong way but it happens now and then. Also milder feelings of admiration etc. I like the aesthetic where people have a somewhat androgynous or feminine aesthetic but a lower voice because of testosterone so I sometimes find myself wanting that, and a dick but just in sexual situations.

I don't want to be hyper masculine but there are situations where I could potentially end up envying guys like that too.

I think when I read trans women on twitter talk about finding certain types of people attractive and I don't fit that even if I don't want to it bothers me a bit. I'm not sure why it's basically just trans women (I think this sort of thing has maybe happened once ever with a cis woman? As far as I remember.) It's some kind of weird categorical thing but I don't know why it happens because it's not like it's someone I'm attracted to when it does necessarily (that has bothered me too on an individual level though usually not too much unless they want someone more masculine because the desire to not be hyper feminine kind of reduces that a bit where applicable - also happens with cis guys if I'm attracted to them individually but not categorically I don't think?)

There's a lot of mental stuff like this I've been trying to figure out for years because it's very confusing. I guess it's a bit like how people describe comphet or when some lesbian women talk about feeling some pressure to be attractive to men despite not finding them attractive. I do find some trans women attractive though so I don't think it's mutually exclusive. It's like certain group's opinions are more important for some weird reason. Also the invisibility of having certain preferences but looking the way I do and having the personality I do etc. I feel like I'm more feminine than butch women.

Like these tweets:

the funniest disconnect between genital preference discourse and actual lesbian attraction is that ime it's always the mostly-straight girls who do this and expect you to top like a man and it's always the dykier girls who are ready to sodomize

Though others disagreed:

Weird, cause I get the gayest girls around wanting to get fucked. Which like, awesome for me, I like topping

*extremely typing with one hand* I actually think cis straight guys who drive and never ask to bottom are more radical than they/thems with blue hair and pronouns

I don't even dye my hair weird colours anymore (it's been like... About 10 years lol,) so I should probably stop identifying with that lol but it feels more categorical. I feel like people have this mental image of people like that as being bottoms... LOL it's actually a conversation too in the book Stone Butch Blues:

"We're talking about what happened to all the old butches and femmes."

"I think we're sort of underground," I said quietly. My heart was in the conversation Edna and I weren't having. "Waiting for a time when it's safer to come out."

Grant sighed bitterly. "But some of these young kids you can't even tell what they are--goddamn green hair and safety pins in their faces.? We all sighed collectively.
"Grant," I shrugged, "who cares?"

"It just isn't right," Grant slapped the tabletop.

I laughed, which made her angrier. "Grant, that's what they said about us!"

?Well, that's different,? Grant said with a wave of her hand

I leaned toward her. "There's a lot of things I couldn't accept when I was younger, Grant, like the fact that there's lots of different ways for butches to be." I watched her expression change. Frankie audibly sucked in her breath. "But now I'm trying to accept people as they are."

I was so suprised to see that though because the book was published in the early 90s. Did you time travel? I know dyed hair became popular even before the 90s in certain subcultures just didn't realise it was associated with [BEEP] afab people before about 2013.



I never really resembled the precise or most common stereotype anyway though because I always had long dyed hair not short.

also i steal makeup <3 i dont rlly wear it unless im going out but it's fun. masc lesbians like it when i wear red lipstick and heels so i def occasionally breach my lesbian feminist principles and indulge in some femininity

my favorite type of chaser is "masc cisbian who's rlly into anal"

I feel like non-binary people who are less masculine are generally criticised online for existing or being 'chasers' etc. People have a lot of anger/resentment/disgust etc and there's the whole 'theyfab' thing.

This is what I was thinking before lol about these tweets (this is kind of useful because I don't remember my feelings later on lol. Terrible memory especially for that kind of thing):

I strongly don't like how I'm stuck in various categories that are read as 'prefers to bottom' and the reality of not having a dick and not being a cis straight guy or a 'masc lesbian.' I don't know how I've managed to envy both cis straight men and butch lesbians in the space of ten minutes of reading tweets but this has happened and what is my life.

I still don't want to cut my hair and I have this terrible personality.

It's not fair that other people get to be attractive and date feminine people and top people. 😩

Most of the time I don't care though because it's not something I really want enough to actively pursue it. Lol:

I guess I'll stop caring about this and go back to dissociating again later.

Also obviously I would never be straight as a guy since I'm attracted to guys, and I don't want to be that's not really the point there.

Another thing that kind of bothers me is this sort of thing:



Or when someone argues that being male or female is attatched to femininity/masculinity. I understand why people do stuff like this though in general because they're looking for people similar to them and it's a very lonely existence if you're part of some sexual/gender minority but yeah.

Anyway so that's my equivalent of that.

This post became whiny and that wasn't the intent lol.

But yeah I think people actually if people did read/listen to butch women online they'd find the experiences don't necessarily match up with what they're thinking. I can imagine women attracted to men are also generally speaking more insecure about not being feminine if they are less feminine.

I still think this is the ideal vibe:



Just going to walk around like a statue. Liminal eldritch horror demon.

Actually I really dig Dani Filth's whole aesthetic especially in the 90s and 2000s I guess.. There's a lot of videos I can't post here I think... Cause nudity or horror film stuff or both. There are some censored versions maybe this is OK:





It's usually always some guy like this. I started to bookmark examples at a certain point for reference. I could get something resembling this too lol. I'm too lazy these days honestly + the money. Literally just like: 'be a goth (aesthetically) again then'

Love screaming vocals too but I don't live alone so I don't try to practice that. A while back (for years ago now,) some Arch Enemy track autoplayed where I didn't realise it was a female vocalist because how do you know?

And I was like =O I had not considered this.

Plus I like edgy/demonic aesthetics lol. There's some detransistioner who has a low voice because she went on testosterone and adopts a lot of that stuff too I noticed lol. We disagree a bunch about political stuff etc but I appreciate her aesthetic though it's more feminine than my ideal.

Going around in circles.