Random Thought of the Day

[Shredder]

@TuanJie

Have you heard of Mind Medicine Australia? www.mindmedicineaustralia.org.au
They seem to be coming up in my feed a lot lately.

I recently stumbled on an investigative news report exposing issues with the current psychedelic movement in the form of malpractice and abuse from practitioners.
https://tvtonight.com.au/2022/07/fou...july-25-2.html

Two people being interviewed on the show were people that I've been researching myself as potential forms of therapy but have not made contact with them due to me being hesitant and uncertain.. the allegations aren't really helping to alleviate any trust issues that I already have with humanity LOL!

[TuanJie]

@Shredder
Waw, that's an interesting development in your country, isn't it? Last time I checked regulation didn't allow for anything if I'm not mistaken. I haven't heard of them. Gonna look into it. What's your impression of them?

Malpractice in the psychedelic scene certainly happens, unfortunately. This is not the first time I've come across it. It's a good thing that some are willing to speak about it, since it can prevent more. Since people under the influence of psychedelics are incredibly susceptible and vulnerable, this also attracts shady characters. Another reason why we need to arrange this properly and above ground. Currently the best you can get is a clinical trial or working with somebody you already know and trust. If you have to work with an underground practitioner you can't properly research, there's no way to know for certain you're in good hands. It sucks, but it's how it is.

On the positive side, not much stays hidden for long in this day and age. If there must be a psychedelic intervention, it's possible to find a place for that, based on enough reviews and cross references. Finances can be limiting and force one to take some more risk. It's far from an ideal situation, but things are definitively changing for the better with regards to utilizing the healing potential of these substances for people in great need. If I hadn't taken the chance, I wouldn't be here typing this anymore. Not going for it can be a greater risk in some cases. I'm eternally grateful for the people who let me drink aya at their place. Imagine what it would have meant if I had offed myself afterwards. They would have gotten the blame, while they didn't cause any of my issues that brought me to the edge in the first place. These people are taking huge risks with some folks, far beyond the modest financial compensation they get for it. I'm convinced the vast majority is in it for the right reasons. Most likely because they were inspired to do so by the medicine themselves.

[Shredder]

@TuanJie Agree with what you said. I'm really glad aya was an option available to you and I've heard this from many other people as well.

It is highly regulated here but I do recall some clinical research being done a few years ago on terminally ill patients. Also micro-dosing for treating depression.

I'm finding it an exciting area of research and potential and will be keeping an eye on things. I've seen a few docos lately that have had a very positive spin on them.
I guess I'm just not at the stage where I'm ready to take the plunge just now but I'll keep an open mind. Maybe the universe will present me with an opportunity sometime in the future!
It's good to know there are alternatives out there.

[Nyctophilia]

Hmm. The newer Sabrina show was pretty good though I'd expected it to be terrible (well mostly the first season was good,) so I'm hoping this doesn't turn out to be terrible. But I do have some reservations. Interesting that Catherine Zeta Jones is in this when she's mostly a film actor. Kind of has film vibes despite being a series. Not sure how much the family will be in it though since it seems she's at a boarding school.

[TuanJie]

@Shredder
That's a wise attitude, I think Shred. No need to hurry, or even go there. I have it in the back of my mind as an intervention for a suicidal emergency or something close to that. Decisions like this can become a lot less complicated when you're at the end of your rope. All the better if it doesn't have to come to that!

Mind Medicine Australia looks like a lovely bunch. They're not messing around! It seems like they are taking a similar approach as MAPS in working the irrational legal restrictions via proper scientific studies. Hooray for that! One of the biggest drug crimes has been to block science from access to these substances for decades. The amount of suffering and death that could have been prevented via this route... It's so sad man. Glad we're finally starting to have a bit of a mature conversation about this worldwide.

A complicating factor is that healing isn't about the substances alone. We're starting to discover it's vital to also consider someone's place in the larger (social) environment. When this isn't addressed after a psychedelic breakthrough, the chance of relapsing is high. This is a serious look in the mirror for Western societies, pointing at something more fundamental than individuals feeling horrible. Johan Hari is onto this (I see he was/is a speaker at MMA) as is Rosalind Watts with ACER Integration. Apart from our challenging personal histories, people like you and I are also the canaries in the coal mine of hyper individualized societies. Chirp!

[Nyctophilia]

Librarian is actually a very dangerous job when you think about it.

"Where is she? Where is the pink-haired freak? Where is the pedophile librarian?"

When a Mich. library refused to remove an LGBTQ memoir, people harassed two librarians out of their jobs.

Then they voted to defund the town's only public library:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/natio...-gender-queer/

McLain hadn’t been there. The library board president told her about the incident, saying she could work remotely if she’d like. (McLain declined to be interviewed for this story but confirmed the sequence of events to The Post.) Citing harassment, she opted to quit.

So did her replacement, Matthew Lawrence, 25, who transferred to a library in another town — he doesn’t feel comfortable saying where — after a tense encounter in June. A patron had demanded to know if he was gay, he said, and insisted he remove a rainbow-hued sign that said: “Please use the other door.”

“She helped bring my son out of his shell,” said one mother, Sara Crockett, checking out a STEM toy kit on a recent afternoon. “He’d light up when he saw her.”

“I miss Miss Amber,” 5-year-old Cecil said, clutching her hand.

Nobody complained about McLain until last November, after video of a Virginia mother condemning “Gender Queer” as “pornographic” took off on social media and protests against the memoir spread nationwide.

The 239-page graphic novel contains illustrations of masturbation, a sex toy and oral sex, as well as depictions of menstrual blood. Fans saw the scenes as part of the author’s coming-of-age experience, while critics blasted them as sabotage to developing minds. “Gender Queer” became the most banned book of 2021.

A lawyer had reviewed the book and determined it wasn't pornographic, McLain replied. Still, given the mature content, she'd initially placed it in the adult section near novels with heterosexual sex scenes. As the objections mounted, though, she moved 'Gender [BEEP]' behind the counter, making it available only upon request.

McLain countered that 90 out of their roughly 67,000 books had an LGBTQ keyword. She said they spent the most money on Christian fiction.

Nykamp, the Jamestown Conservative organizer, was also there, lambasting 'Gender [BEEP]' as pornographic.

On Election Day in August, about a third of the town’s voters turned out. A slim majority chose to defund the library.

“You want to defund the freaking library?” asked Chavala Ymker, 23, a nonprofit farmworker who grew up behind the building.

As a home-schooled teenager, Ymker, who uses they/them pronouns, said they’d wander over and dig into a series about World War II or a paper house-building guide or an Amish romance novel — their “spiciest” indulgence.

“When I was stressed or anxious, I’d go there to relax,” Ymker said. “It always felt like a safe and welcoming place.”

Another wrote that a 'Marxist lesbian' led the National Library Association, adding that 'this shows the mindset of those we are up against.'

I ironically thought this job might be OK with severe social anxiety on/off over the years. Hahaha no. And it's here in the UK too we now have retards rocking up to drag queen story hour events.

The library was the real hero of Parks and Rec:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BNLNG90H10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwORmGPhLo8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMb-su4DZTQ

Basically like the jungle. A jungle of dead trees (paper.) But a jungle nonetheless. Very The Torture Garden pg-13 vibes. Camille Paglia would call it chthonic. Other pretentious notes. (I'm like listening to The Cure's Pornography album hahahaha. Wasn't really deliberate 100 years started autoplaying while I wrote this.)

(There's no compilation of all the characters complaining about the library. There were a lot of times because it was a running joke that they all hated the library.)

[Nyctophilia]

When survey data confirms results you were already aware of anecdotally and that bother you.. But also why the [BEEP] do I care? I don't think my insecurity about not having a dick will ever go away lol.

*more attracted to non-binary people*

*more attracted to women*

*more attracted to people with dicks*

*less attracted to people with vaginas*

I was so close. I can't believe you've done this (universe) (Actually the change in favour of men was way ahead of women and non-binary people tho but at least it wasn't a negative relationship.)

It doesn't matter lol. I'm pretty dysphoric about it and sex anyways and struggle to find people sexually attractive and dissociate.

I saw this tweet recently which was basically 'I wish I had a dick and my boyfriend had the [BEEP]' someone suggested to them they date a trans guy but they were like 'uh no it's more that I just want a dick.' Many such cases. Anyway a trans woman subtweeted them to say 'you know cis women will just post *quoting their tweet exactly* and continue about their day.' (but honestly why not?) And the other account and their followers responded saying 'why are you misgendering them they're non-binary.' (both tweets were posted around the same time.)

It kind of blew up because (everytime.'oh my god what a concept.' This is the closest the universe can come to recognising trans men exist you see.) There was this large debate going on about how 'cis women can have dicks too' 'obviously they're trans...' 'why would a cis woman want a dick though?' 'Why are you implying they're trans?' 'you people are a cult!' 'lots of cis women want dicks' 'freud was right' 'uh no that's all in your head no cis women want dicks (from a cis man lololol, multiple tweets from him I think. He was dedicated in denying this.) (yeah like I say it really did numbers, reached many audiences you had normie football (UK of course,) avatar male twitter stumbling on this.) So all that was going on at the same time. The identity of the person in question had already been concluded though (basically everyone ignored them too lol. It was word for word their tweet :')) Something about Satan convincing the world he doesn't exist.

Tbf someone else who was a cis woman posted something kind of similar at the same time (I think it was a sponsored tweet tho to sell something lol, hard to say,) so it could have been an unfortunate coincidence where they saw the other tweet (since a few people posted screenshots and they responded to those,) and then paraphrased it but then it looked more like the other tweet, or they saw both and didn't really bother to check. Which is more likely tbh.

[rabidfoxes]

struggle to find people sexually attractive and dissociate

It's only a struggle if you want it to be. Otherwise there are aces and people who are into tentacle monsters only and a myriad other ways to be.

Re cis women with dicks: imho labels like cis/trans/queer/straight are helpful when campaigning for specific things or to provide a sense of belonging to a group but it would be best if people labeled themselves and let everyone else be whatever. Trying to enforce a strict binary or putting people into boxes is equally damaging regardless of who is doing it.

[Otherside]

I absolutley bloody HATE the rickshaws.

These are stupid bike taxis that seem to be in the centre of London, because for some reason, it's a London thing to do (?). Like, is it really? I thought the stereotypical things were red London bus, black cab, Big Ben and Buckingham Palace, not stupidly fluffy rickshaw blaring out [BEEP] music at ?206 for the privilege of going a mile. And who even pays that?!

Here I am enjoying a nice, summer evening with a passion fruit martini, and along comes a rickshaw, ruining it with some weird eurotrance mash-up of Tears for Fears Mad World blaring at stupidly loud levels.

[Nyctophilia]

It's only a struggle if you want it to be. Otherwise there are aces and people who are into tentacle monsters only and a myriad other ways to be.

Re cis women with dicks: imho labels like cis/trans/queer/straight are helpful when campaigning for specific things or to provide a sense of belonging to a group but it would be best if people labeled themselves and let everyone else be whatever. Trying to enforce a strict binary or putting people into boxes is equally damaging regardless of who is doing it.

I looked into those labels in my early 20s but didn't think asexual fit fully, grey a-sexual fits better but there were other issues so I stopped using that. Also the older I get the less people I find attractive and the lower my sex drive is, which is frustrating. Some people might be OK with rarely or never experiencing attraction but I just think it's really boring (and I miss some of the emotional reactions like when I'd find a new musician or TV/film character attractive.) But part of it is also all the other issues I have going on at the same time psychologically and culturally.

Yeah I don't think there's really a need to speculate on specific labels like that if someone just tweets something like that randomly, but that kind of thing often gets tons of attention from people. I think part of it is a kind of gatekeeping response where people have to figure out if someone is in-group or not. Twitter also massively encourages tribalism. But people also just get overenthusiastic sometimes like they think they have to help people 'come out.' Also sometimes it's a competition thing. People also get annoyed when cis women do drag sometimes and anything that seems ambiguous and contradicting some pre-existing rule/norm (trans women who still call themselves femboys, trans men who identify as lesbians etc.)

[rabidfoxes]

Right, I see what you mean. Being attracted to people does bring a lot of fun into the everyday and I can imagine that it would be sad to lose it. I'm sorry to have reduced a valid point to a 'be what you want' affirmative platitude. Hopefully it's a temporary freeze-up to do with other developments in your life. I sometimes go through periods of zero interest, especially if I'm tired/anxious.

[Nyctophilia]

^ Thanks. It's been like this for a few years now. I can still be attracted to some people I discovered before but I can't really develop new attractions besides very passing/milder interest and I don't really have as many fantasies now either compared to the past. I think some amount of ambivalence with most people is probably just how it works for me though because I've always been quite fetishistic and ended up with idiosyncratic/specific interests at times, and I noticed a pattern where people with some similar preferences and psychological traits to me would also be greysexual or asexual or questioning that.

[Nyctophilia]

That look is really cool. It's also several years too late but I finally got the attractive male version of Stahma I wanted while watching Defiance years ago since her husband was not that for me personally. (Yes this is one of the few people I can still find attractive. I'd say he specifically broke my brain but I was actually attracted to lots of TV/film characters and some musicians after discovering his existence for the next 2-3 years, so that's a fun explanation but no.)







It's like when I thought he'd look cute with pigtails and then by a weird coincidence he changed his hair to that not long after. Also the goth aesthetics were hot. How does he keep doing this?

[Nyctophilia]

Another related thought (I removed the part connecting A to B here to make this post shorter/slightly less stream of consciousness.)

I don't know if IAMX identifies as non-binary but a while back someone on a subreddit posted photos of him in some non-binary subreddit, and then when I asked about that mentioned he brought it up on patreon and quoted this:

"Non-binary is probably how you would describe me. That's more of a recent hook term that's popped up in society, I quite like it. And gender fluid possibly..."

They also said he described the song 'The Negative Sex' as 'my non-binary origins.'

But I couldn't find that and I'm not subscribed to his patreon, and then (and I guess this goes back to the point before about discussing identity,) there was an ama I watched on his YouTube channel from a few months before that reddit thread where he was answering questions people sent in, and the same person (who is non-binary,) from reddit asked in the ama about his music becoming less [BEEP] from their perception over time. (I didn't realise they were the same person till they pointed that out lol,) and he seemed a bit uncomfortable about the idea that he should have to define himself. He said that he was experimenting more in the past and thinking about it more, around the time of the first album they brought up. Of course there's a large generational and age divide in that because he's 48 (but it's also kind of political.)

People who are in their mid 20s and under right now tend to want representation and complete openness about these things. They sometimes view ambiguity as untrustworthy or undesirable for political reasons. They're also rigid about a lot of things. Like yesterday I stumbled on someone arguing non black people shouldn't make black video game characters to play in games (like when you create a character in game.) It attracted thousands of likes and they're not the only one arguing this sort of thing though it's usually more about who should be allowed to write certain characters. This comment to someone bringing up digital blackface, is an alien viewpoint to me: "Not even just for content! That's the part that gets me the most. People do this even when nobody is watching and I am like Why, you weirdo?"

So anyway IAMX said 'it's probably considered unwoke to be gender bending and experimenting you have to really define yourself' 'in one sense that's very good, but the fluidity of sexuality and art is one of the attractions for me and I guess I'd be disappointed if that all disappeared' I wouldn't say he's wrong considering how much crap Harry Styles gets now for 'queerbaiting' and he also said in terms of defining himself 'that's for the music to do' also Jordan Peterson entered the chat haha (edit: so I posted a smaller clip but the video uploader removed the video lol so this clip probably won't go down ever lol but I don't like listening to his commentary over the top personally. The beginning with him talking is most of the relevant part anyway.)

Joe Rogan had to stop him continuing to list creative things at one point in another clip I saw: 'I ask audiences how many portraits have you painted? 0, how many songs have you composed? 0 How many plays have you written 0' 'How many recipes have you-' 'OK let me stop you, let me stop you' and then Jordan Peterson said 'up yours woke moralists we'll see who cancels who.' which started the Oblivion crisis. (Sorry the original video is still the most entertaining thing I've seen in the last several months. Missed opportunity to have him like a guard 'stop you violated the twitter rules' OK that wouldn't make sense role wise but still. Also he's basically jyggalag the daedric prince of order but yeah.)

I'm actually not sure how it's possible to get to adulthood having not written songs or ever painted any portraits or well painting in general because art classes are usually mandatory up to a certain age in school. I wonder if he meant professionally or voluntarily. Professional artists can express themselves in ways many people would be penalised for to a greater extent due to the environment and then you have to justify otherness and the best way historically to do that seems to have been either creative pursuits or spiritual ones (like joining the catholic church, or various countries specific localised spirituality.) 'They're an eccentric rockstar' vs 'where is the pedophile librarian?' If you will.

I'm mostly curious about the song meaning and what else he might have said about it, because the lyrics are interesting and there are some other songs where I got a completely different impression about them from what he's said in interviews lol. Like the song President I just kind of viewed it literally as a gay song but it's actually about "It is my small fantasy of leading all misogynists into an early grave. It was a weak, mixed moment of empathy and deep hatred for stupid violent powerful men that never had love and reason. I am also guilty. [BEEP] them, [BEEP] me and bury us all." Intense.

Grimes has this too where people assume a lot of her songs are about a heterosexual relationship like this one when it's actually about a friendship she had with a female friend (she said she doesn't write songs about relationships anymore or something like that well she did, not sure that's still the case.*):



It's also kind of about Roko's basilisk somehow (just the character in the music video is a Marie Antoinette figure being tortured for all eternity by an AI, which I find ironic considering the place Grimes occupies culturally now. She Alan Moore'd herself. I think she should have tried harder to be the genderfluid time travelling Al Pacino vampire character personally. There's still time. (Actually no be careful what you wish for.) She is considered to be the modern day Marie Antoinette now, but there are many figures really. I'm not sure if Contapoints is doing damage control for her or herself, probably more herself but many such cases like I say.)

*Edit: OK what I actually think she meant was she probably doesn't write songs about her own relationships though that may not be 100% true since she turns herself into the characters from her music sometimes as mentioned above because ShE's CrEaTiVe. Her new album (the above track is not from that album,) is about a courtesan of a high tech cyborg guy, who leaves him to have a lesbian relationship with an AI demon. ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶n̶o̶n̶-̶b̶i̶n̶a̶r̶y̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶c̶o̶o̶l̶ ̶a̶r̶m̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶a̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶ ̶A̶I̶ ̶d̶e̶m̶o̶n̶.̶ Also. How dare you write something my mind should have created (I've created vaguely similar narratives in my head and The Sims 4 before lol.) The media are so invested in it they created a story about her leaving Elon Musk to date Chelsea Manning. Nobody will ever know if that was true or not, it's almost besides the point. I deleted my whole post about her and this article before but I'm editing the story back in here because it's too good actually. But it is also similar to Ghost in the Shell when you think about it and then she just combined that with Black Swan.

Her music is very hit and miss for me though, and I've never been super big on her voice but a lot of it is interesting production wise. This track especially. I've now posted and deleted my opinion of her music at least 5 times I would say. But no matter the internal cringe I'm going to keep this post now.

Uh this is a happier song lol:



Huh everywhere lol (that's not the person from before,):

I listen to this song at least 10 times a week. For me the song speaks about gender dysphoria given I'm sure it speaks to all kind of people in many ways.
This song has impacted my life in good way and pulled me out of a tight spot. --Thankyou

I feel like he was talking to multiple hypothetical people but 'you walked into the world as a super human boy and girl' is a bit of a bigender bop.

edit: lol so speaking of Jordan Peterson. I just saw this and I have no idea of the original context (I'm guessing complaining about the way millennials and gen z speak. OK no he's complaining about his twitter ban again and comments he's gotten on twitter):

https://twitter.com/RSTYCG/status/1567011405211078658

https://youtu.be/0S5WP4GGliA?t=1215

'lol. lmao. bro. bruh. dude.'

Are these the worst comments he's gotten lol? Not doing bad. I just really don't care at this point after the [BEEP] he said about Elliot Page. Someone retweeted this with 'how'd he get into the transmasc group chat' lol. lmao even.

and I deleted the other post where I brought this up but basically I was reading an article earlier where Grimes kept referring to Elon Musk as bro:

"But at the same time?" I can physically observe her brain cells saying screw it. "Like, bro wouldn?t even get a new mattress"

"Bro does not live like a billionaire. Bro lives at times below the poverty line."

"Bro might say a lot of stupid shit," she says finally, "but he does the right thing."

I don't think he punched her in the face as JP suggests lol. Jordan Peterson laments this in a video where he admits he doesn't know how to compete with women since violence is off the table, or how men could. Despite being a clinical psychologist he doesn't appear to understand feminine communication styles. *manifesting this for him* write them a diss track lol. Someone did it for him how does this have so few views.

I'm also editing this in here because I don't want my new post to start on a new page:

So because I watched that Hasan + Jordan Peterson clip I got suggested some clips from a interview from last April with Hasan, Grimes and Nadya from [BEEP] Riot and there was this one hilarious moment where she says 'why are so buff is it necessary?' What a thing to say lol completely apropos of nothing. Then at some point Nadya gets there and brought a whip and they start whipping stuff.

Yeah so I found a reupload of the whole thing and I think she wants to look like a bishounen anime character mentioned Sephiroth here (can't bring her melted ar-15 sword into the met gala. What's even the point then?) which isn't that surprising to me she's also obviously very inspired by elves. Also 'If someone could make a game that's a mix between Bloodborne and Harvest Moon that would be my dream' lol. I'd probably go with Elder Scrolls and The Sims personally. I haven't played Bloodborne or any of the Souls games yet somehow but I really like the aesthetics. This character (there's two brothers,) think I had him as an avatar at one point lol. (Not this image though) I also love that one character who is like 'If only I could be so grossly incandescent.' But that's just cause he's hilarious/random. I quote that line all the time. Never played the game.

Yeah lol:

https://s2.glbimg.com/C0jhGSSXHZxZtm...59096866-n.jpg

She's never played Skyrim. Cancelled.

[Otherside]

How to even begin with the current saga of a managing agent -

- New managing agent. Don't bother to inform me of this until a while after they've apparently taken over management.
- Tries to charge ?180 "Enginwer call out fee" so I can read my meter. Is illegal to do so. Inform them of this. Eventually after a lot of nice, I get access, gratis.
- Then I wonder if there is anything else illegal. Turns out, yes. My security deposit is unprotected. Also illegal. Email asking where it is. Ignore those emails. Eventually have enough and get a lawyer, if they're going to ignore emails then I can force the matter with a lawyer, courts are very clear in that they order 1-3x deposit amount in cases like this.
- Turns out this conpany is in fact, headquarted in Dublin, and only recently decided to expand to the UK, hence there apparent lack of knowledge regarding UK housing law. Reviews for them and filled with lots of Irish people very unhappy with said company for similar reasons.
- Then claims rent arrears, stemming from the fact that I was apparently aupposed to pay them before they even bothered to tell me I needed to change the bank account details? Because how was I supposed to know. And no, I won't double pay because of your disorganisation. Eventually, they figure this out.
- Oh, and I owe them ?28 for "utilities". What bloody utilities, I pay supplier direct.
- I am not 100% convinced that they are aware that I've served notice, so what do reckon, I'll be in "rent arrears" even after I've moved out. I've sent them an email, a letter signed for which they signed for. But honestly, I am beginning to envisage that there is a mail tub in there office, so who knows.



Speaking to old agent to get proof of payment, and proof of deposit being transferred to new landlord. Are very helpful. Also apparently fed up with new agent. They were marketting these flats for them but are now saying they won't, citing disorganization. And are horrified to hear of all of this.

On the plus side, last time i will hopefully actually need to rent, hopefully the enquiries stage of the conveyancing process im currently at is resolved soon and i can move into the new flat ive bought.

No idea what Im going to do for the time I won't actually have a flat, but I just want out at this point. Im thinking Antalya, lord knows, the sunny weather would be better for my mental health and its suddenly very cheap to be in Turkey - if you are paid a UK salary, that is. Not so good for the Turks being paid in Turksih Lira.