Random Thought of the Day

[Nyctophilia]

Regarding my previous post I don't know why but YouTube just started suggesting me a bunch of videos of bands with members who have died early lol... Like I was suggested some Linkin Park tracks which inspired this post, then this music video I listened to in my early 20s:





One of the two singers (the one with dark hair,) died on stage in Poland years ago. I found myself avoidant of listening to their music after that even though I was never a huge fan per se, just liked a bunch of their tracks I'd discovered. I suppose their aesthetic/image was similar to male t.A.T.u. This "we're in a relationship for the music/band story but not actually gay" is not a style that is particularly endorsed in the West lol. In spite of that Drab Majesty are doing that with gender (that's a bit more tolerable to critics than sexuality but only marginally. Oh and they're not that famous so it's fine. You can't get away with ambiguity at Harry Style's level of fame. To be clear - I don't care because I'm not interested in policing creativity etc or 'what counts as [BEEP]?' Obviously, being on the border myself and associated with subcultures that are.)

Drab Majesty's Deb Demure Wants to Whisk You Off to an Icy Dreamland Where Gender Doesn't Matter

I knew right away what I wanted Deb to be. My grandmother is very much a reference for Deb’s world. A lot of the clothes are actually my grandmother’s. I got them after she passed away. Her home was definitely a big stylistic contributor as well, as far as textures and color palettes and things like that. She lived in a really old midcentury modern home in the foothills of Beverly Hills. It’s this old, dying part of L.A. that you’ll never see unless you’re second-generation like myself or up with some weird, high-society old-money shit.

Oh, absolutely. The face and the tension between the masculine and feminine in a sloppy, gender-fuck kind of way, comes from just riding the bus in Los Angeles. There was a period of time in the early 2000s when I was only riding the bus, and there was an absolutely distinguishable network of transgender, transsexual transients on the bus. I'd see a lot of these recurring characters and many of them spoke to the old Hollywood, this flickering flame that hadn't completely burned out.

Your persona, as Deb, is one such symbol. How have people reacted to your choice in gender, which appears to be female.

Deb DeMure: For me, it's not female. It's no human. No human trace. That's why we white our faces out. We wear sunglasses. There's no connection to eyes. For me, it's about losing identity entirely, not necessarily gender identity. I understand why people think that, however.

Mona D: The name sounds feminine, but it's not. There's an explanation behind the name, Deb. Actually, there's an explanation for both of us.

These last two quotes conflict somewhat but ultimately I think what they're doing reminds me more of voidpunk anyway but in a more neutral way:

Voidpunk is a subculture for those who often feel rejected or disconnected from humanity. This is popular within aro-spec and ace-spec communities but also includes groups such as neurodivergent people, disabled people, non-binary people, POC, and other groups that are frequently dehumanized or called 'subhuman' by society. Voidpunk is based on embracing the idea of being 'not human'. While many of these marginalized groups seek to prove their humanity to their oppressors, voidpunk aims to, instead of claiming humanity, instead, recognizes that these oppressors are bigoted and taunts them by saying "Maybe I am not human by society's standards. What about it?" Voidpunk rejects to define humanity, as every attempt at a definition will inevitably be wrong.

There's some interesting aesthetic stuff linked on that subreddit too with regards to clothing etc like people wearing mirrors, and some long robe that covered the whole body that was sort of iridescent. Also entirely a coincidence but they do have a song called Noise of the Void haha. And I really want to link the video right but it has some nudity in which is obvious (and not sure if I can,) but it actually is by the sea and reminds me so much of this (which has another upload that was also age restricted I noticed while trying to embed it. I cannot):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlJHqHf1YKU

And also that second Adams music video is similar too a bit lol. I like this imagery a lot tbh. It goes back to this when I was a teen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CppK9ZfE-cI

But also obviously my childhood obsession with the sea.

This is an amazing music video, There was this Japanese music video too. I'm just linking sea/cliff based music videos now lol. Such a good song though. It is the primary selling point of an island country though no? It sure ain't the rain here I tell you that.

So you don't want people to focus on whether you're a man or a woman because it's not important.
No, it's really not. It's like listening to a sculpture recite a song, or something like that. Even if the sculpture is a man or a woman, it's still inanimate.

I think they were inspired by sculpture a lot and that really comes across. This image reminds me of art I've seen on tumblr with like Greco-Roman statures and bright blue neon lights. I mean it's all from a similar time period in the early to mid 2010s.

Deb DeMure: I've always had an interest in stoicism. The Greco-Roman statue thing has multiple facets. I come from a fine art background. I went to school for sculpture. But going to Hearst Castle as a kid got me into this space, of appreciating sculpture and Greco-Roman sculpture. Going there as a kid I thought they were people frozen in time. That their souls were inside. I didn't understand they were reproductions. The aura of these art objects having a soul was pretty profound to me. The same with the buildings and structures.

So it's almost animistic as well.

Also didn't realise until recently that Drag Majesty had connections to Emma Ruth Rundle lol (Andrew Clinco was also in Marriages.) Interesting. I like a couple of her songs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA5_mP5pvp0

[Otherside]

Screenshot_20230113-175130_Firefox.jpg

Whoever did this has never been to Harrow or Tower Hamlets.

[Nyctophilia]

@Nyctophilia Yeah, he's slightly left of centre, I'd say. Which is electable, which is what is needed.

I think at this point, we can say "pressure to end war" or "pressure for peace deal", but the realty is, that this war isn't going to end. Its alarming to see "push for peace", in a way that generally is a suggestion that Ukraine should cede land to Russia (Crimea and the Donbas). The Ukrainians have decided they are not willing to do that. I always think, imagine that was here, and there was the suggestions that the UK was the one being invaded, and it was then suggested we should cede Cornwall and Kent, against the wishes of the Cornish and the Kentish.

I don't think Ukraine is a NATO proxy war. This is Russia being unable to cope with the fact that its empire ended. Since 1991 they've been doing this, and now here we are. I think there is a very good reason why Ukraine, Georgia and Moldova have issues, but NATO Estonia, Latvia and Lithuanaia have managed to avoid it. Its right to criticise NATO at times, but it does work well as a deterrent.

I think when it comes to NATO expansion - countries join it willingly. Its a military alliance, not an Empire. And there is a very good reason why Eastern Europeans has decide to join, that countries in Western Europe don't have to worry about (like the Swiss, Austrians and Irish who stay neutral). I think had Ukraine been granted NATO membership back in 2008, we wouldn't have a war in Europe, it would have been like Estonia.

There's no completely positive outcome to this imo but constant escalation isn't an option so sooner or later someone will yield something. I won't say 'lose' because everyone always loses in war.

I'd imagine a lot of smaller countries would want to join NATO because they're worried about their own defence against superpowers like Russia and think they have to join with something larger so they pick whichever makes the most sense to them culturally/politically having little choice in the matter. But NATO was created by the West in opposition to the Soviet Union, so it's never really been a neutral defence force and that legacy continued with Russia. I think Putin's motivation is at least partly to 'send a message to NATO.' I'm sure it bothers him that most of Europe is US-aligned.

In terms of empires you have the Western/US empire, Russia, and China. They mostly don't view themselves that way.

But yeah the whole thing massively depresses me and these days I also have a lot of dread/anxiety issues related to this, so I tend to avoid thinking/talking about it mostly because it's a bit futile from my perspective.


Also London seems like a polarising city. I know a lot of people who really don't like it. I like it but I've only been to a very limited range of places globally and it's interesting as a big city (and I'm usually doing fun stuff while there.) I think Paris has similar effects on people though where they build it up a lot in their head and then get disappointed. There's even something called 'Paris syndrome' lol:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_syndrome

I feel like London has a lot of competition though city wise. I'm surprised it's number one. My dad definitely preferred Singapore lol. He kept talking about how clean it was.

[Nyctophilia]

Apparently IAMX aren't coming to the UK again on their next European tour. Probably for economic reasons (they live in the US now making things more expensive in general.) Huge bummer though. I have seen them live a few times before in person (also watched some live concerts online but that's not the same,) but the last concert I bought tickets for was cancelled due to covid and they didn't come here on their previous tour before that one. For me the only selling point to being stuck here due to my [BEEP] mental health etc is that London is a destination most bands hit while on tour and I can get there and back without staying in a hotel. But I had this issue with some Japanese bands too years ago. I think at this point the most reliable place to be to see bands/musicians would be somewhere near Paris probably. Don't think that tends to get missed.

London came out as the top destination for music lovers worldwide. Boasting 207 music venues, eight major music festivals and 5,088 upcoming concerts this season alone, London is most definitely calling you to let it all out on the dance floor.

😑 If you insist. But my needs are excessive. I will never be satisfied until I have teleportation to all the concerts. Inject that [BEEP] into my veins. Also I mostly exorcised FOMO from my brain due to accepting that I'm too crazy to have a life but this still gets to me. Especially that one tour where they had mental health event on the tour after the show but either they didn't come here that tour or they didn't have one of those events here. But I'm so mentally ill guys. 😭🤣 (I mean I would have been too anxious probably to be comfortable with that I dunno what it involved.) I think they might have low-key started a cult but I'm at the point in my life where I'm like 'that might actually be an improvement anyway.'

And when I ended up talking about my anxiety issues unprepared with the walk in centre doctor after they noticed my insane heart rate because I went there due to some mysterious pain a few months ago (didn't notice anything weird on ecg,) he suggested I go and get cbt again. This time for generalised anxiety, which didn't work the first time for social phobia. And I wasn't even discussing all my other issues because I wasn't expecting that conversation at that point in time. He meant well though and was really nice (I was expecting people there to be grumpy like my last experience at a walk in centre a decade before,) but I feel like there's a huge gaping hole where you just don't see a psychologist/get a diagnoses/get examined properly considering everything. I had issues trying to discuss my motivation issues with my social phobia cbt therapist she changed the topic. Because really I need to be tested for ADHD/autism too, possibly other things I haven't personally considered because my issues go far beyond just anxiety. Then again I'm fairly sure there's no support for these things when diagnosed as an adult.

[Otherside]

@Nyctophilia Yeah, depressing times. Twenties have been a bit [BEEP] so far.

London is polarising. Most part I like it, shame its just so unaffordable these days and noone can really afford to live there. Rental market is crazy these days as well, people having to prepay a year in advance on a flat.

Harrow however, is a shithole. Everyone associates it with the public school, but outside of that bit. I know people that moved there and I'm just like, why....

I'm going through the ASD but there is like a multi-year waitlist in my area, considering going private, GP has given a list of "heres some people have found helpful." I've heard some people have managed to get seen quicker with NHS funding on Right to Choice though?

Seems very difficult to see a psych referral actually accepted these days by NHS.

[Nyctophilia]

@Otherside

Yeah I can't imagine living in London. It's just way too insane price wise. Now and then my friend will send me links to property pages online and I don't remember the exact prices now but I found it very amusing/crazy/disturbing that you could buy a castle in Scotland for at least 1/30th of the price of a fancy London apartment with multiple bedrooms. That castle was reasonably priced too for a castle (I think it was several hundred thousand pounds?) Still way too expensive for me but if you had money that would be something to go for. But then the heating etc would cost tons. And there has to be some catch. It's haunted or something.

Yeah I think I heard about that but I haven't looked into it really. I have a feeling things aren't great in my area. I know someone I was watching on YouTube said they went private to get an ADHD diagnoses but then was struggling with the NHS because apparently they won't accept private diagnoses for treatment so they'll have to diagnose you anyway.

I think this YouTuber got an ADHD diagnoses through right to choice (not the person I mentioned who went private):



edit: he goes into in this video how hard it is to get meds prescribed here and it's so true lol. The two times I've gone I've been told that my anxiety issues didn't seem severe enough to warrant meds, or that since I didn't have comorbid depression (I don't think anyway,) it probably wouldn't be worth trying. Not sure I wanted to try meds anyway for anxiety. I've read too many negative things, but I just found the argument about severity hilarious given I've rarely left the house in years lol. How bad does it have to get lol. But I'm not sure I made that clear with this guy the last I went tbf. I wasn't prepared to talk about it and I don't like talking about these things irl. There were some details I brought up that should have clued him in though.

I have a massive mental block with having to fight over this, and then I hate using the phone and avoid that so even making appointments is hard for me (that's why I went to the walk in centre before instead of through my GP clinic. I'm very weird like that. Phones make me anxious and then the more steps that get added to a task the worse it is.) I used to be able to book appointments online but then they stopped that, recently I signed up for the NHS app thinking I could book appointments that way but it seemed I couldn't. Looks like they've added an online booking system to my GP clinic website but it seems I have to sign up for yet another thing. I also don't have a phone that works with apps which makes things like this more difficult.

Ultimately I feel like there's a low chance of me getting any diagnoses despite how dysfunctional I am. I don't feel like I meet all the stereotypical criteria for either disorder though I have lots of symptoms re motivation/attention/focus issues. Find it really hard to start things and then if someone interrupts or I stop/lose focus I probably won't get back to what I'm doing for ages. Emotional dysregulation/anger at times, some sensory issues and special interests, don't like change to my routine, and apparently non-binary/genderqueer people are 3-6 times more likely to be autistic or have those traits. But I know they need evidence from childhood but I wasn't an extreme troublemaker so I don't think most people including my parents paid that much attention. My brother got a lot more attention for being quite disruptive and loud and was diagnosed with dyslexia (tbh though I think he fits the stereotype of classic ADHD even more than me and never got a diagnoses.) I vaguely remember getting hearing tests etc done in infant school but they didn't even bother to tell my parents I was diagnosed with selective mutism lol... They just included it on my brother's psychological report when we were kids (and I received no support/help for that.) So yeah not much faith of any adults who knew me having paid attention.

I know my dad talked to someone that suggest I go private to get an autism diagnoses a few years ago though but I wasn't there and don't really get what her job even was. She worked in a caf? on the Isle of Wight but seemed to be some kind of therapist? It sounded confusing. One of her patients came in and she pointed out to my dad that he rarely talks to people when he acknowledged my dad's presence, then my dad started talking about me and she suggested I pursue an autism diagnoses. I forget the place but it would cost money anyway.

I watched this guys videos a bunch years ago though and he seemed to think that anxiety and internalising issues were more common in people with a superficially similar condition that's basically never diagnosed called 'sluggish cognitive tempo' or 'concentration deficit disorder' which I guess they came up with to be less insulting.

[Otherside]

I wanna live in a castle.

I've heard mixed things about whether the NHS will accept your private Dx or not. And if you need stimulants for ADHD, they're Class B drugs and on the hospital only list. Good fun trying to get a GP to prescribe that without a consultant sign-off.

It sounds bad, but I dont know if I want it on record, because I need Mental Health Team access quickly at times for depression, and I could really be done without the nightmare "well there's not much we do for autism in mental health team" Ive heard some others have had. I think I may go ahead with it and ask them not to send off the diagnosis to my GP.

You can probably get to make the appointment if you walk in? I don't know if that will help, I've just been setting up mine by NHS App since they added that at my surgery.

[Nyctophilia]

I removed this part of my other IAMX post because it ended up too long etc but I was watching one of IAMX's livestreams the other day from 3 months ago that I hadn't watched, since they uploaded a few for free and not just patreon only. Had a lot of thoughts about that and the comments lol. Though that's not really why I'm making this post. I think he comes across quite differently and his energy is definitely different from his music on regular video (and I noticed that years ago in interviews.) But the difference is perhaps a bit more obvious now and people maybe pick up on that subconsciously?

I just think what they've chosen to focus on (complaining about the chaos/sexual/hedonistic stuff in the video,) is a bit weird. I mean yes there's a lot of existential/philosophical stuff but it's always been a very sexual project. One person was surprised to hear that it was BDSM-adj when that's always been very obvious to me, especially with the earlier albums but even later there's a bunch of tracks and/or music videos that are very sexual. One recent video is essentially softcore porn but OK lol you missed that. I think what confused me the most about that comment is I noticed in the livechat the person who left the comment being said IAMX was one of their favourite songwriters (and they didn't notice this element of the music!? This entire album lol!) And one of the other songwriters they mentioned (because they said IAMX was in the top 3,) was actually Steven Wilson. Which is funny because not a lot of people have heard of one or the other and I'm also a fan of both and they're not really that similar musically.)

Then a lot of people were annoyed that they were kind of 'prostituting' themselves etc and felt it was narcissistic. A lot of people are very uncomfortable with sex which they see as transcendental being economically monetised and really they have this with other creative pursuits but sadly that's capitalism and capitalist realism in the sense of 'is an alternative even possible? We don't have one.' I also think people don't want to see that much of others. They want mystery etc.

Going back to the energy thing though I mean so Janine is kind of there to balance things out really. He doesn't come across as interested in talking to people as much and she's the one who is mostly giving him questions etc, address his behaviour, make jokes about him being an asshole. As she said in some other video, he's not selling himself at all lol but I think that's sort of the point. But then this kind of goes along with him blatantly referencing the voyeurism of the audience at points like 'pay me $20 and come to [their location] if you want to suck on my tits.' (Which, I doubt he'd hold to haha.) Then at another point where Janine kind of says she feels very possessive over his dick and tells him not to show it off (he's wearing tights not like naked lol,) and he's like 'but it sells. And they're our community they should have access to whatever they want.' Lol.. At various points he's just putting on makeup in front of the camera. Which I think is why some people commented like 'this is what Narcissus looked like before falling into the water' contrasted with someone else saying 'I love watching you put on makeup my sister did this to me as a kid' (which is oddly specific but IAMX did mention once that inspiring him as well,) so that contrast is interesting too.

To me what's most interesting is he's said that he uses his music to express himself (he said that in response to someone asking about [BEEP] and gender themes in his music and his own identity,) but his energy in music videos is very gentle and sometimes submissive? But then you get like an edge and forceful vibe alongside that I guess. Like this. and this. And these are the personality traits I used to build a parasocial relationship not with him (parasocial relationships are never actually built with someone though that's the point, it's always a projection.) But yes in interviews and moreso the livestreams it is somewhat the opposite at least at times I dunno maybe just different. I think this is also because of how he interacts with the people around him or maybe more vice versa as well. Less so Janine because her energy is a bit stronger. Then, for whatever reason there was someone in the chat who kept bringing up pegging I noticed. And then when Janine called IAMX an asshole and like 'you get it though he's an asshole?' They said something like 'he's just trying to get pegged' these comments weren't addressed at any point unfortunately (although a lot of sexual comments were so it wasn't that.) I found that so interesting (granted she kept bringing it up,) but she chose that point to bring it up. He does kind of have bratty energy though. A bit.

I think someone also asked what the song 'you stick it in me' meant which I don't think got answered. They read the question and then were like 'it's whatever you want it to mean.' Basically. 🤣 But it must be exhausting having such a diverse audience who are looking for often completely contradictory things. 'Validate my version of you.' You have people who want to headcannon the music/Chris as queer, bisexual, genderfluid, bdsm, submissive, dominant, artsy, philosophical, therapeutic (mental health stuff,) 'existential,' poetic. Very schizophrenic.

It's interesting because my own sexuality is very effected by perceived power and gender dynamics so I'm quite sensitive to this. This causes a lot of issues because it's treated as very political. I'm not even going to say in the current time, it has been since the sexual revolution. But with social media it's everywhere these days.... That's why people write papers like the one about nisu subculture in China I discovered days ago. I don't think on a deep level the the motivation behind what they're doing is ideological but it has to be cast in the play/game. (To some extent all sexuality is politicised though but yeah.)

And as I'm very open online this has attracted a variety of strange responses from men (and I probably spend a lot of time processing these interactions and other's interactions with each other because I'm neurodiverse but yeah.) From people trying to change their sexuality to suit what I've written in posts in an attempt to appeal to me then couldn't take no for an answer (not good) to (more not good lol,) someone who always seemed very defensive in response to me and took great issues with the fact that I was non-binary too. I think because at some point he'd felt shamed for his own sexuality. We got into a bunch of fights. So yeah I think on some level that's why I have such idiosyncratic interests/I'm very selective because I'm not interested in having a power struggle. I've been told my sexuality is abusive by multiple men (not men I've been in a relationship with, I've never really had the opportunity to express anything I fantasise about in reality.) It's difficult. You have to find the right sexual target. (All of this is reflected in that paper about 'nisu subculture' which is why I found that so interesting. Because it transcends geographic culture. The censorship doesn't though.)

If you don't have the right personality traits it's also easier to just engage in fantasy. That's what men are doing en masse now evidently (I doubt it's so many as people complain about, it's just more visible now.) I think there's a strange tendency to politically see women's fantasies as being liberatory or contributing to women's rights and men's fantasies as being dissociative and evil. Although as a non-binary person who is read as a woman I haven't internalised that 'yas girl boss reading 50 shades on the underground' sort of thing. Nor is that how other's (especially men,) perceive my fantasies lol. It's seen as very low status by most, and then some people view it as a threat. And the funniest part is how academics can't decide if a lot of related stuff is 'female or male gaze.'



It's simply just 'genderfluid feminine person :3' more or less, but sometimes I don't really care about the other perception and play with that. 'Yes I'm a demonic agent of Satan sent here to emasculate all of the west with my leet photoshop skillz. The nisu folks are going to emasculate China, and we will form a global empire with the femboys.' (and there are people on social media that believe that lol.) Because I'm contrarian and like feeling powerful. I think a lot of people do.

'Mainstream fans also extremely repelled nisu fans in disgust, believing that their behavior is sexual harassment and a personal insult to celebrities. In March 2020, the famous "227" incident broke out on the Chinese Internet [4]. Archive of Our Own (AO3), which is an international fan community, was reported by a celebrity's fans because of a fan fiction involving genderswap elements produced by a CP fan. As a result, AO3 was blocked by the Chinese Internet,' which also affected other subcultural communities. The essence of the 227 incident is the conflict between wei fans and CP fans, as well as the collective sanction of the mainstream fans to the minority nisu fans.

💅 keep coping.

That's why it's often rhetorically weak. I mean it works to create a moral panic, and it's terrible re relationships/personal stuff, but politically you've elevated your opponent above you. 'All the rumours are true, if you believe I do that.' - Lizzo. Then there was the #they/them army Thanks for the idea (👍 ) see now that's a way of portraying your enemies as weak but it still doesn't really work. I'm not feeling it you know lol. Like 'they're weak but they're capable of destroying us via their weakness' paradoxical. You're describing [BEEP] people like vampires.

Also ignoring as the substack post says that many Eastern conservatives view 'queerness' as an aggressive cultural threat from the West - again not a weakness - that they're running away from and emphasise Christianity and Islam in some cases in opposition to what they see as Pagan/Satanic queerness. And that's also very historically and culturally ironic. I won't attribute this cultural process entirely to them. The Greeks/Romans castrated many of the androgynous Mesopotamian and other 'near Eastern' deities that influenced their own such as Aphrodite and Cybele and Agdistis. And that's before Christianity took off. Aphrodite (inspired by Inanna/Ishtar,) is more subtle because it's later on and fully Greek, but Agdistis entire story is just: 'was an androgynous God, other's deemed that representing chaotic nature/a threat so castrated him. This then led to the birth of Attis (also incest if you take it literally because of course lol,) who Agdistis fell in love with due to their castration, but his foster parents wanted him to marry the daughter of a king which she agreed to but when she showed up at the wedding night she drove all the guests mad and caused Attis and the king to castrate themselves and the bride to cut off her breasts. Unfortunately these stories represent part of the full picture of Human sexuality and personality so when you tried to cull a bunch of it, no it didn't work. And you should be thankful that few [BEEP] people really believe these stories (or maybe not this is kind of a game and they must find this entertaining too right?) Recently someone on twitter who is an atheist pronatalist conservative tried to point out that Christians are atheists about most of the Gods who have ever existed (a common argument,) and came to this amusing conclusion based on the responses he got:

"Today I learned from these replies that many Christians believe that Zeus, Thor, & Shiva are real, but they are evil demons sent to deceive people.

Which is an even more bizarre theology than I imagined....."

Didn't manage to kill them it turns out.

(Not even to get into the topic of anime etc even older stuff like this.) It's so ridiculous when it's painted as a Western thing. And most importantly just because you weren't paying attention doesn't mean it's new.

In contrast to all that lol feminists (especially terfs) do a better job at infantilising and emasculating afab people.

Oh god there's that meme template lol which is perfect. The one I mostly see is the trans woman one but some people have created others from the template with Russian people etc. It's like some guy reads a story about x group of people and how they want to control the world, gets excited about the sexual implications, then they just go on a date and he gets disappointed with neurotic self hate 4chan rambling lol. Anyway 'politically' speaking the best thing you can do to get the best reaction is demonstrated with Ben Shapiro's reaction to Surreal Entertainment's Ben Shapiro video (which is weird and surreal):

https://youtu.be/QQod6F-UOu8?t=508

The point where he realises actually he hasn't seen this before and has no idea wtf is going on and is just confused. Completely off script from the rationalism. *chefs kiss*

I genuinely laughed out loud at Ben?s genuine horror and confusion at that surreal entertainment video

Right it's very inspirational. I also post some surreal/creepypasta type stuff and love when people are confused/horrified by my videos but not like in a traumatised sense lol. On top of the creepy vibes of that I've realised how little of that video will make sense to him and the people responding to that comment because it references like gen z gamer memes like this Ben can be Tracer because I'm Reaper or Widowmaker.

Anyway the actual point of why I made this post is there was actually a separate point though to the video talking about social media lol since one of their images was removed from instagram for nudity so they were seeing how much they could get away with on YouTube before it'd get taken down. Then Chris has talked about that since and how he was frustrated with how hard it was to get noticed on most social media even by their actual long term fans. People just wouldn't see posts/updates. It felt pointless. And he didn't really like the idea of appealing to masses of people anyway and wanted to create something more community oriented for people who got his message. Comparing it to how say radio one might pick up on a track because they like the beat so it becomes popular but they don't get what he's saying and he felt that was meaningless. He said he's trying to create an alternative lifestyle for himself. I guess this goes back to 'the cult' thing too. Hence moving to patreon/discord/email newsletters.

So yeah I've noticed myself since I create YouTube videos that it's a very competitive environment even in something as inconsequential as a community for a specific video game. A while back there was a YouTuber who created videos critiquing other YouTubers in the community and commenting on what they should do better in order to grow their channel. I think they've deleted them now and they were larger channels (well one was large, the other I'd say medium sized at the time,) because you can imagine how offputting that would be for someone who is relatively small. For some people this isn't a job and is actually just a hobby lol.

Then I've gotten comments from people who are interested in seeing my channel grow because they like my content which is nice on some level. It's nice they care. But they were comparing me to another similar channel (I already compare myself to others sometimes and want to do that less it's not good lol,) and pointing out I shouldn't make content that differs too much from what my audience want because eventually YouTube will stop suggesting content even to my own subscribers, and that this other channel does better because they're more consistent in the topic of upload. I did already know this though I think everyone does (many YouTubers make videos addressing this and how they feel restricted.) I'd just chosen to upload occasionally stuff I know won't do well for my own satisfaction. And on one of those recent less popular videos someone commented something like 'this is like a fever dream' and I love comments like that tbh. Also comments where people tell me my videos helped them with a bad day, depression, covid (during lockdown,) etc. That's more meaningful really.

But yeah it's like everyone feeds into that. It becomes almost a team sport where you invest psychologically in channels and then try to push them to grow. I guess that's cynical sometimes they just like something and want it to be shared with more people or think you have potential. I do think there's something similar going on with bands/musicians. Especially female artists. God every one of their comments sections is like 'x female artist is better than y.' Often these musicians are like friends or trying to get along. Why would you do this? Lol. (The media does this too,) But yeah that's 'the system.' So.

Some people complained about this discussion being boring etc or 'just acting like drunk college students' but I can get a narcissistic random stream of consciousness from anything. 🤣

[Nyctophilia]

Courtney Love's voice is great but I really dislike Oasis lol. I guess it's not so much the music though as just I don't like Liam Gallagher and he is a bit whiny sounding. I say this I quite like Blink 182 lol.

I get this though because my own voice isn't really as 'rocky' as I'd want. To give an example I was listening to this a while back:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E5s-KEKO3Q

And my brother heard me listening to this, and asked if that was me singing. Then said it sounds like what I'd sound like professionally (like a better version of my voice I guess.) So he wanted to know what was going on. I actually do like Halsey's music but it's not really the voice I'd go for I think stylistically. Also I can't sing well at all so I don't really know what he was smoking lol since she's a talented singer. No yeah I just went and casually recorded an album with Nine Inch Nails. It's the craziest thing he's ever said to this day.

I love Dani Filth's range it's insane:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gavXpUTp_gE

I think this is the first track I heard by them probably their most popular track. I really like his high pitched screams (when I tried screaming I couldn't do anything high pitched I have no idea how he does that lol. I feel like I would kill my vocal chords if I tried lol):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dW6aNAZGTM

Lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl84B7Fp8tc

Fun story time: I was pretty damn good at doing those high pitch screams, loved COF and shit. One day, while trying to push boundaries, I tore a vein in my throat, and no joke, for about some solid two minutes, I thought I was going to die. I couldn't breathe, coughing a lot (like a lot lot) all over, bathroom sink and floor smeared all over, and now I can't even come close to doing that again. Don't want to anyway.

This. This is what would happen if I tried I know it.

As a kind of reverse the female vocalist here (I forget her name) who has a great rock voice hasn't made anything else like this lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfMa2lrFxhY

Reminds me of Fergie a bit. She's got a great voice for rock but rarely creates that. I like stuff where it's like 'is that the same person the whole way through?' Like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn68XnbYe7s

I'm not paying super close attention so don't know if Miley Cyrus has released a rock album yet or not:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lLJ27SccRE

He brings up Light Asylum too I was like 'that rings a bell. I've heard of them right...?' And yeah it's this band I can't remember how I stumbled on this track but I did so recently as well lol. This isn't the track he's talking about though:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB4qc7y-o60

edit: that's right I was watching Russian Doll and I still need to finish that series sometime and I was like 'oh damn..' *to the YouTubes* but yeah I'm listening to Dark Allies now and that's great too.

Also yeah Brody Dalle is one of my favourite female vocalists as well. The Distillers are generally a very nostalgic band for me though because pop punk. Also they reunited and are playing Download festival but no other gigs in the UK and I don't want to go to a festival to see them.

Oh yeah and Maria Brink is great too (actually surprised he didn't mention her lol since he brought up fry screams):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GurkREc-q4I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZF5m-vmDzM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03X0B6u-AxM

[Nyctophilia]

A trans activist posted a screenshot of an email she got from some white nationalist who was apparently running for office in the US (and he disturbingly works as a nurse assistant with special needs kids.) Arguing the police aren't fascists but most white people hate lesbians, gay men (he used a slur instead of gay men,) and trans people (slur again.) Curious that he didn't use a slur for lesbians (assuming he can't stop himself watching [redacted]) Also seems to hate Jewish people just a classic Nazi really. Calling everyone degenerates. And he says he's going to deport people and strip them off citizenship when 'the white nationalists get into power.' To quote: 'Nobody likes you, but the average person doesn't know what to do with you that's why our numbers are growing.'

Oh well, it's a good job we're not playing 'what if I got into power' because I know all your greatest fears and I like to play with my food (hegemonic masculinity.) It will be so much worse than V for Vendetta.



Meanwhile in the UK, not to be outdone, we have terfs quoting Mein Kampf in public protest. Wow. 10/10 rhetoric.

https://twitter.com/NorthumbriaIWW

https://www.thepinknews.com/2023/01/...-trans-speech/

The hypnosis practitioner of 30 years.

Sus.

Not to be outdone yet again.

Suella Braverman: hold my beer 'the invasions on our' [BEEP] off.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-64288757

UK government to block Scottish gender bill

Independence it is then

Right?

Apparently this is the first time in history the UK government has done this? From what I'm reading. Goes to show the contempt they have for trans people. [BEEP] the UK government and [BEEP] the tories!



So many questions get asked
So many times when I don’t have the energy I’d like to correct and react
What if I’m not a part of the see and be seen?
Neither nor, both and me, in between, in between



^ this is actually such a good song but I'm still pissed.





You want to celebrate a gay man on your cable TV
While trans lesbians of color dig in garbage just to eat

There's no protection that this nation-state can offer to me
Just olive branches to the cis white gay bourgeoisie



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDSXB2kKOXI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A78Nw2yDNc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=643TkWsSkwY

[Nyctophilia]

If it was ever in any doubt that Graham Linehan's primary motivation is just bigotry it's that for whatever reason he's just switched to complaining about [BEEP] and bisexual people (especially women,) as much as trans people.



He'd probably even go after homosexuals to defend women if that wasn't just slightly too taboo/protected by his 50+ year old centrist peers. Like if he tried that J.K.Rowling would just come by and then Sheldon would eat her. And that's just not the energy they're going for.

The spicy straights want to keep using their favourite slur.

He has like 500k followers and is a famous tv writer but someone femme with they/them in their bio is using the word [BEEP] and so everything must shut down lol. It's amazing. It wasn't very controversial:

You don't like [BEEP]? I won't call you Queer. But leave the rest of us out of your sh^tty letters to The Guardian, cause we're all quite happy being Queer.

I also think this entire group (not just glinner,) think their loudest critics are trans women all the time (they always comment this,) but the people who run the GC biphobia account are actually two cis women lol.

Graham talks about "spicy straights" the way we all know he wants to talk about every LGBT+ person. He's found another "acceptable" outlet for his raging hatred alongside the transphobia and misogyny and it's a total bonus when they overlap.

Yeah at some point he realised that actually no, most trans people aren't lesbians (and gay, but they really love to bang on about how trans men are all lesbians,) but are bisexual to varying degrees. Lol....

There is a set of girls with a similar aesthetic who claim bi sexual and They Thems...it's very interesting they all choose that look ...bunch of sorts

My sexuality is actually [BEEP] you bitch. With something hard and sandpapery:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thpeEfBS2G8

That line where she slowly turns her head makes the whole song lol.

Also coincidentally that video has multiple famous bisexual women in lol. (Margaret Cho, Amanda Palmer.)

everyday casual biphobia - interesting that he only swipes at bisexual women (infantilising them as girls). Does he thinks bisexual men don't exist or that they are genuine but bisexual women aren't? Perhaps

He does seem to go after bisexual men occasionally from what I've seen, but it's most women or afab non-binary people for a multitude of reasons.

Glinner is annoyed because he knows bisexual women are more attracted to trans women than him and he's never going to get that threesome or have sex with Jameela Jamil (yes he went after her too a while ago lol.) Why else would he sign up to a female dating site pretending to be transfemme?There was an attempt. Keep trying though I believe in all of you.

Hmm, yes. Unless of course they mean "straight girls who say they're bisexual to seem interesting." I'd say removing that category would yield significant results and perhaps bring Norwich more in line with the average.

?Rochford in Essex was the straightest town in England and Wales. Brighton and Hove had the highest non-heterosexual population. Norwich is the bisexual capital of England and Wales.?

Or maybe there's just not much else to do in Norwich?

As a former Norwichian myself I am outraged

😏 Oh but you actually are lol.

Short answer: LGBTQ+ / [BEEP] despises male & female homosexuality for what it is & what we are.

Drag as performance art signifies the most sinister undertones of male & female erasure in favor of a new socio-sexual order which abhors the role-modeling of homosexual excellence.

Drag culture is part of homosexual culture in the West but something equivalent involving gender non-conformity has appeared in most cultures throughout time/history and is ironically older than 'egalitarian homosexuality.' Not that egalitarian homosexuality is bad but the attempt to re-write history is amusing.

It's basically the sad & sorry delusions of a squalid drag queen circa 1972 who imagines that a str8-acting gay might be conned into doing the poor thing.

The 2023 version of course is just one more try - this time dripping in the malice & vengeful motives of desperation. 😀

See this is really gross. And yeah I do care more about eg Quentin Crisp and his struggles when he was alive then your weird hegemonic masculinity thing where you complain about drag queens being too weird and not 'homosexual excellence.'

https://youtu.be/wTRntQUhipc?t=373

You must understand that everything I say I'm speaking first of all for myself and then for a group. I am a minority within a minority. I'm an effeminate homosexual and for people like me the dream, the hope, the ambition is to win and to keep the love of a real man. And of course the essence of a real man is that he does not fall in love with people of his own sex. Therefor it's insoluble. It's unanswerable.

Crisp wrote, "Having labeled myself homosexual and having been labeled as such by the wider world, I have effectively lived a 'gay' life for most of my years. Consequently, I can relate to gay men because I have more or less been one for so long in spite of my actual fate being that of a woman trapped in a man's body. I refer to myself as homosexual without thinking because of how I have lived my life. If you are reading this and are gay, think of me as one of your own even though you now know the truth. If it's confusing for you, think how confusing it has been for me these past ninety years."[6]

More respectability politics:

They don't represent me & they don't inspire kids.

Can we put the drag queens away & get some LGB Drs, architects, lawyers,
scientists, sports ppl, entrepreneurs ect in?

Or just some ordinary LGB ppl?

She's a lesbian I think so first of all why would they represent her lol? One type of person can't represent everyone and isn't supposed to. Drag queens and effeminate men attract outrage which gets more attention and people respond to that by trying harder to integrate the group being the most demonised. Listen to Light Asylum or Skunk Anansie instead. (She's British too of course lol. Most of this twitter circle is.)

'I was Black, female, gay, and had a shaved head' androgynous, not super femme. I wasn't butch or a lipstick lesbian during a time when you were pressured to pick one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcaUer4fuU8

I mean for some lesbians like King Princess it do be like that lol, but tbf she's also non-binary.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYyjiP4O00Y

'[It's] this feminized version of myself,' says the 20-year-old, who performs under the name King Princess. 'And I love that, because that's something I was terrified of until, maybe, last year.'

Straus is 'emotionally lesbian,' she says, but 'culturally' a gay man: 'Not really a woman, I've never been a woman. I'm a drag queen.

'I'm a huge supporter and fan of drag,' she said. 'When I do makeup, it's performative. I don't really wear makeup, but I use it as a tool to talk about gender and sexuality.'

just like me fr. I'm mostly interested in it's performative qualities but never wear it.

And the gay guy who dislikes bisexuals and trans people, and evidently drag queens too - shock horror - retweeted that with the 'homosexual excellence' tweet.

Everyone knows Pete Buttigieg and Peter Thiel exist, but they don't inspire the same degree of incoherent bigotry. The latter was outed which isn't good but there's a reason he had to be outed. Does nobody understand the secondary point of American Psycho? (Aside from being an excellent comedy lol, and the major economic/yuppie culture thing.)



I still can't get over how the eventual music video for this song that was released featured a genderfluid drag queen when it became the 'American Psycho song' lol.

I don't think it's a virtue to blend in. And you're like 'well this amount of expression is fine, but no further.' Just contributes to this incredibly toxic environment. You get the walking disaster of Milo Yiannopoulos 'gays should go back into the closet because they're more intelligent and there were all these masc Roman gay emperors etc.' (before he came out as ex-gay,) then: "Jack Donovan has been described as gay, though he does not use the label for himself and has criticized gay culture as effeminate. He has described himself as an "androphile", a term he uses to describe romance and sex between masculine men." (Not sure he knows some non-binary people use that term lol.) It's exactly like the Nazi era just repeating the same [BEEP] over and over forever.

Damn you know this song is really great lol. I can't post the music video because of the nudity but yeah:



Studio version.

I can't believe they only released one album. Goth/post-punk bands always do this like 1-3 albums.

[Nyctophilia]

Love how 'bondage pants' are apparently back. I bought a pair when I was a teenager in the 2000s with zips all over them and I've worn them on/off since then. Though I never really wore them with the chains so they're easier to just stick in the wash. They were cool because they were unisex and had large pockets. Over time the pockets got holes in them and the top button was lost so I switched to using a safety pin in place but then that safety pin kind of broke after many washes since I stopped bothering to take it off every time. So now I don't bother with that and just wear them anyway. They're quite worn out now.

So I bought them and most of my clothes from Camden ironically the market and indie shops there - not a mall. Now and then while travelling around I'd find maybe one alternative shop here and there on a high street but it was never a thing in shopping malls here and we didn't have Hot Topic which seems to have been the big one in the US. There was an indoor market in the shopping centre in Luton which had an area with horror movie stuff and some other bits and bobs back in the day. Can't remember if it had clothing but I don't think so? Maybe some jewellery.

Also very few alternative people around in my hometown. Really subcultures here in the 2000s were pretty depressing in that sense. I mean I was mall goth in the sense that at some point I entered shopping centres dressed in a variety of alternative clothing that would be read as goth lol. This thing where people apparently went around hissing at people was not a thing here in the 2000s lol.

I'm really struggling to name 5 Bauhaus songs lol. Bela Lugosi's dead, that time they covered a David Bowie song which doesn't count lol, the song with dark in the title (Dark Entries? Lol.) I've listened to a bunch of their music but don't remember the titles now. Like she starts naming the tracks and I know them but I didn't remember them lol. I even forget one of my favourites which is Hollow Hills. I mean I'm remembering it now but that took multiple minutes. That was on my tumblr profile playlist years ago in 2016~ when I still used/updated that.



The funny thing is the stereotype of mall goths was that they were more into industrial and nu metal music etc like Korn, Rammstein, Slipknot, etc + Marilyn Manson so they wouldn't have been into Bauhaus anyway. Also of course I don't think anyone self identified as mall goth and nobody really wanted to be a mall goth lol because they were seen as poseurs so gen z kids wanting to be 'mall goth' is funny.

It's interesting to get these perspectives though because I was born about half way in between a lot of these YouTubers. Like the older gen z crowd who are in their early-mid 20s and the millennials who are in their late 30s/early 40s and were born in the mis 80s. I was born in '91 so yeah. She talks about Evanescence being key to this but that wasn't until the 2000s lol. They didn't take off until 2003~ also because I was in that in-between time there were periods where people thought I was goth and then emo later on.

The part talking about school is interesting. I've seen some of those videos before. Definitely didn't experience anything as extreme as that one American YouTuber (forgot her channel name stumbled on it before.) It sounds like there were enough alternative kids that it became a sort of tribal war at her school which seems very bad. Also of course in the UK we have school uniforms so that's a massive factor. But on non-uniform days in school everyone would overreact to my clothing and ask a bunch of questions and say I'm a Satan worshipper etc. Even when what I was wearing was quite subtle (because I kind of eased into it.) I was even told by one girl that her mum was insulting me by comparing me to Wednesday Addams (at this point it's pretty much a compliment I think but she meant it insultingly,) and I'd get compared to Samara from The Ring and then there was the weird homophobic harassment from my main bully. But a lot of this imo wasn't the clothing and I didn't internalise it as being about the style except when it was obvious and they actually brought up clothes since I'd get this while wearing a uniform and not in goth or alternative clothing lol.

I remember assuming this would happen too lol the first time. I sort of eased into wearing alternative clothes with very subtle clothing like a black long sleeved top and a chain thing on my jeans. It sounds ridiculous but it was seen as such a big deal. And for me I was only wearing the stuff because it resonated with me and felt right essentially. And a lot of other aspects of the subculture had and did throughout my life even before I started dressing that way like as a younger child. I didn't think about it much beyond that initially at the time. There wasn't a conscious sort of 'well I'm weird and so let's wear this clothing' though back when I was 11/12. Later on I think I came to see it as a kind of armour.

But I didn't really purposefully try to use it or threaten people defensively at that point lol. Maybe I missed out on some fun in that sense (I definitely like seeing people's creeped out reactions etc these days,) but I had bad anxiety. I just became aware that some people viewed me as potentially going to destroy everyone or kill everyone. I think a lot of people were mostly joking though especially in uni when people did that. Actually eventually I did buy a t-shirt that said 'I'm only smiling because they haven't found the bodies yet' even then it sounds dumb but I didn't put much thought into that lol (and also didn't smile much so didn't really work haha.) But I don't think it was even just because of my style but because of my social anxiety. So it was much more my body language imo really. I mean one guy wore vaguely goth clothes himself and I hung out with him at this card game club where we played yugioh and he read tarot cards and so he read my cards a few times and he became convinced that I was going to destroy everyone. Kind of vague lol like not kill specifically but destroy.

The thing about the personality aspect of it though is kind of why I don't necessarily view it as just a music/aesthetic thing right. Like the research paper I read about emo kids where they found that the kids could identify 'emo kids' even when they weren't wearing the fashion. They kept using Charlie from the perks of being a wallflower as an example lol... But yeah. His conclusion of why people didn't like adopting the emo label for themselves was that it was being treated like f** (gay slur.) But I think the not wanting to be a poser thing she pointes out in the video also was a big part of it. I never particularly identified with it at the time either despite listening to My Chemical Romance.

there is still definitely a stigma around alternative subcultures and fashion, most kids who dress even remotely "alt" or emo or whatever it is (or even just having dyed hair) can attest to getting barked at, asked "are you emo??" no matter how you're dressed, people assuming you are some kind of gay or trans, and having your hair pulled/things stolen at times. at the very least that is my experience as someone who lives in idaho of all places haha

With the dyed hair specifically I feel like it's actually gotten worse. When I started dying my hair I was a young adult and by that point I'd get the occasional negative opinion on my style but people weren't really dramatically reacting in that high school way. Most strangers who talked to me about my hair were complimentary and it was a great ice breaker. But around the time I stopped dying it (completely unrelated,) it took off as this huge political and culture war thing associated with trans and non-binary people. And it's a huge thing on social media now fully grown adults - far older than me in most cases - taking the piss out of young adults and teenagers. The internet used to be a great space to escape to (so long as you avoided any websites any irl bullies you had were on,) and it hasn't been since the mid 2010s. So obviously everyone especially young people have worse mental health issues.

[Doseone]

I won $330 at a casino on my second time going. Not too shabby.

[Otherside]

I won $330 at a casino on my second time going. Not too shabby.

Whayy.

I've never managed to win anything, myself.

[Nyctophilia]

Do I subscribe to Contrapoint's patreon for anti-shipping/Germaine Greer/Camille Paglia discussion?



Not paying $15 to vote though, just the lower tier if those topics win. Seems like her next video is going to be about the first four topics to some degree though so might just wait I dunno. Depends how interesting the informal discussion is.

I have thoughts about True Crime but something about the topic just kind of drains/annoys me. I mean I like Skynd because their music is interesting stylistically. I also have an interest in sexology which can overlap. And it was interesting to read about The Peterborough Ditch Murderer purely because she flies in the face of the current cultural narrative of female-as-victim so perfectly and probably not by coincidence if you consider psychopaths feel it important to project dominance. I mean we have this culture where people politically signal the vulnerability and weakness of women constantly, but secretly (well not so secretly actually lol but yeah.) valorise fictional female serial killers and violent women as wish fulfilment (they're also stoic and attempt to hide their emotions other than violent/aggressive impulses.) And the more political rhetoric moves in this direction the more intense the characters in fiction become. Like they're representing people's psychological shadow.



And Wednesday will come out with these cheesy/corny feminist lines too on the show. I'm not a fan of that on shows. Many such cases and it's always poorly done on every show lol. I've been watching this show and have mixed feelings lol.

But yeah culturally it's all so inconsistent and 'sus.'

However, when people are making documentaries, films etc and the sheer abundance of them it's a lot. And I remember thinking that Dahmer film had such a dramatic sensationalist cover when I saw it, then unsurprisingly later noticed the victim's families tweeting about how they were annoyed with the film and tired of their trauma being dug up repeatedly for the spectacle. It happened so long ago and you're still digging it up.

I think it's all tied together with my awareness that the degree of voyeuristic obsession is stemming from a fear response which irritates me and kind of connects to the current insane hyperbolic wave of 'Oh no everything is pedophilia!' Moral panic noise. Alongside this constant rhetoric of female vulnerability. I kind of joked that being yelled at by a man online for trying to calm a woman down by showing her statistics on how uncommon stranger violence was statistically for women compared to men was my villain origin story hahaha.

It does seem like the 80s though, because they also had a fixation with serial killers at the time and there was a bunch of serial killers who cropped up but the crime pattern has changed in recent years for a number of reasons to spree killings. I'm fairly sure many are motivated by the perverse voyeuristic reaction to their crime (not all, many also have sexual motivations, but some are definitely narcissistic too.)

Anyway it's all kind of summed up with this TOOL song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_TUP2vuaDs

Also there's always the hipster thing of it being quite mainstream now and so 'ew' don't necessarily always get that but yeah.

Oh and speaking of Satoshi Kon I never ended up watching Paprika lol just listened to a bunch of the soundtrack years ago (probably like over a decade ago now lol,) and it's so great/interesting. (Why am I like this lmao but yeah.) Reminds me of Cjthex 'Twilight is a really good album to which the movie was a companion piece.'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APIKVLw1tT0

Amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21JuYIPHMF8

Also completely unrelated I finally got around to watching Spiderman No Way Home and (trying to be vague but spoilers. edit: Actually I had to complain about the ending directly so just spoilers) didn't expect it to be so depressing lol. It's like what they did with Thor but worse. I'm not OK.



I'm also more into group dynamics in shows etc, so you best fix that eventually Marvel. And the setup was so annoying. I remember thinking it was so dumb to the point of being annoyed even before everything else happened. Just stop casting the spell for a minute and talk.

Also there's the element where he agreed with them before they lost their memory that he'd get to know them again, and when he decided not to do that he made the decision without their consent essentially because he felt it was in their best interests, just like at the beginning of the film lol.

Other than that a pretty good film though. I didn't watch The Amazing Spiderman films so didn't realise it would be helpful to have done so. I did watch the original trilogy way back in the day.

Oh and I guess I can watch this video now lol (wondering if he makes this point regarding their decision that he just chooses to ignore later lol):



'My favourite black Spider-man is the Donald Glover version I made up in my head' haha you can't just say that everyone did. He is (or was) the obvious choice.

edit: yeah they did make that point and expanded on it more lol regarding her character arc. It's true she became more open due to her relationship with him so it actually doesn't really make much sense for her to end up how she did at the end of the movie when those memories were erased. I'm not finished with the video but I don't think they specifically brought up the point earlier in the movie where MJ specifically asks him to involve Ned and her in decisions involving them lol because that point really was just ignored.

Also lol 'very minor forehead injury' and it really was wasn't it. 🤣

Yeah I was aware of their negotiations in the background but wasn't really considering that. It does go a long way to explain the awkward and unsatisfying writing decisions on that movie.