Random Thought of the Day

[Heelsbythebridge]

I really need to diversify a bit

[Nyctophilia]

Destiny is donating 10k to Community movement builders in Atlanta just to get F.D Signifier on his stream. Content creators are insane.

Went over to his twitter page and he posted some insane parenting story that was obviously fake but wasn't sure why but people seem to think it's some reference to Andrew Tate.

When my son was 4 years old I took away his mattress and forced him to sleep on the floor every night.

If he did his chores, I closed his window.

If he got straight A's, I gave him a blanket.

If he got in a fight at school and won, I wouldn't force him to take his shower cold.

Tate is living rent free in his head. Ig he can't do anything than just rant

Honestly one of his (Tate's) kids is going to grow up to be or get in a relationship with some kind of killer. I'd say serial killer but criminal patterns change now and then. Serial killing is out of fashion now compared to spree shooting and who knows what insanity will arrive in the future but as I said he's raising his daughter like Myra Hindley so. I really feel like that's going to happen.

I guess this is what he's parodying though (it was a long twitter thread about his dad so I'm just copying some lines so you get the gist):

"Excuses don't affect the outcome.

So excuses can't affect your performance."

I was too young to understand and upset.

When we got home, I complained to Mom that Dad was yelling at me for losing.

She said he was too hard on me.

They had a heated argument as he explained she's a female and doesn't understand the burden of performance.

"IF I WAS TOO TIRED TO PERFORM, THEY WOULD HAVE KILLED ME"

He was referencing a few months before when I watched him be attacked.

My mother told me I didn't have to play chess anymore if Dad was going to upset me.

Dad took me out of the house for a week.

We stayed in a hotel away from my mother's influence.

"Your Dad's crazy" mother would say.

In fact, everyone said that.

At the time I didn't know who to believe.

But I was exhausted. I cried a few times.

He made me play anyway.

And made me sleep very little before school.

My Dad sacrificed his marriage to raise me exceptionally. My mother simply didn't get it.

And then you went on to make most of your money by exploiting women and being a hypocritical fuckboy. 10/10 parenting. And the worst thing is we live in such a morally bankrupt culture that people dismiss all of this because you're rich.

Huh...:

In this YouYube video Tate reveals that his father was a diagnosed narcissist.

Well I for one am shocked. Not like Andrew blatantly has this personality disorder as well.

Men raise [BEEP] sons because they cuck to wives.

My father lost his wife for ME.

I always used to remember this story when deep in the rounds of championship fights.

Am I gonna lose because I'm tired? Or just lose.

Lol:

The marriage ended because the dad cheated on the mother and she left he even said it in an interview, i don't know why now he's changing the whole story

Various quotes that all seem to fit together in some sense:

According to a new report published by LGBTQ+ charity Stonewall, more Brits than ever are identifying as gay, lesbian and bisexual and the figures indicate that Gen Z is especially fruity.

The groundbreaking report reveals that more Gen Z people identify as bisexual or pansexual (14 per cent), than gay (two percent) or lesbian (three per cent).

'Rapid rise' in Andrew Tate-related cases referred to Prevent by schools

"There are cases such as where a kid draws a swastika or say that they want to join Isis. The inclusion of Andrew Tate within that in small and bigger ways is quite new," said one.

Another said: "From September he's just accelerated from nowhere to become a primary issue for schools that I have been dealing with. He obviously doesn't fit within the Prevent sphere but incels do. He is parallel to them and has a crossover. When I'm in schools I find myself describing him, effectively, as toxic misogyny on steroids.

in terms of schools telling us about pupils really challenging staff, such as cases where pupils have said to female teacher: 'What do you know, you?re a woman, you can't teach me anything. Your place is in the kitchen.'"

"Tate's conversion might be a stunt, but what it has done is feed into that kind of unclear and very messy ideological aspect that is now affecting a larger cohort of pupils in schools. Not only do you now have, for example, white kids who were drawn to him before but now you now have young English Muslims too," said one of the Prevent workers.

Misogyny, spread through social media influencers such as Andrew Tate, has been making ugly appearances in classrooms in recent months, with reports of some male students vocally and publicly declaring their belief in male superiority and intimidating female teachers.

There are no neat answers. Misogyny is not designated as a hate crime. A Bill was introduced in 2021 (Brader, 2021) that could have changed this, but it did not become law.

One small charity, Diversify, based in Rotherham, which runs school workshops about inclusion, receives about 25 calls a week from primary and secondary schools across England who want help dealing with sexual harassment and "shocking misogynistic incidents". Many cite the influence of Tate, who is under house arrest in Romania for suspected human trafficking and organised crime. Tate's TikTok videos tell boys that a woman belongs to her boyfriend; girls who don't stay at home are "hoes"; and rape victims must "bear responsibility" for their attacks.

The charity's co-founder Sara Cunningham estimates that an average class of 30 children will have eight boys who admire Tate.

The numbers here are insane that's like 50% of boys then? If you assume approx. half the 30 students are boys.

Don't talk to pupils about misogynist Andrew Tate, government urges teachers in England

By all means keep going until 50% of the female population call themselves lesbians and the other 50% are just Tumblr. And Solanas' prophecy is completed. That's what you were going for right?

I was bullied almost daily for my entire school life and this is making me miss the fucking past lol.

She is frustrated that officials at the Department for Education (DfE) have been advising heads who reach out for help not to encourage discussion of Tate's views in personal, social and health education (PSHE) lessons, and are refusing to offer any training or resources.

She said: "We were in a south London primary school recently and students as young as 10 knew a lot about Tate's arrest and [allegations of] rape. One 10-year-old boy said these women consented to sex because they went back to Tate's house."

This is honestly the most horrifying thing I've read in years:

Spoiler:

A small church primary school recently called the charity in to talk to pupils after four nine-year-old boys locked a girl in a cupboard, threatened to "fuck her in the throat" and then made her watch porn video clips.

The school commissioned Diversify to run three workshops with pupils on misogyny and consent, during which a number of boys mentioned Tate and said they could not see any problem with his views. On Cunningham's advice, the school reported the sexual abuse to their local authority child safeguarding team, but they have received no response.

The assistant head of a secondary school in south-east England asked the charity to talk to her pupils after disciplining a male student for harassing a girl by sending her a barrage of threatening and explicit sexual messages, on one occasion while standing outside her house.

The teacher said that during the harassment workshop this student frequently referenced Tate, saying: "You shouldn't take no for an answer [from a girl] as that shows weakness."

She said: "I was shocked by the sheer number of young, seemingly lovely boys showing the same point of view."

I will have to stop typing about this now because of the violent rage.

*goes to Tumblr*

😌



It actually works. I should try this more often but eventually I will have seen all the photos of 70s/80s Geddy Lee.

[Nyctophilia]

LOL

Apparently this is fake which is a bit sad but it's still funny.



edit:

hey i'm really sorry because you were a really cool mutual but for the record i have to unfollow you because the purple creature in your profile picture (whatever she's from) (or they sorry i don't want to assume the beast's pronouns) (i love all genders) looks almost exactly like my ex girlfriend's fursona and i tried to ignore that for a while because i'm not the kind of [BEEP] who would unfollow someone because their creature looks like my ex's fursona but get this: she drew her fursona hitting me (human) (i'm not a furry) (nothing against them) (i love all genders) with a car (honda civic) and sent it to me from a burner account on toyhouse. so needless to say i can't keep doing this. i'm gonna miss your posts though you were a real one i loved when you would say [BEEP] like 'it's (the f slur) wednesday post knuckles"

!??!?!??!?!?!?

#this is only something that you'd read in a tumblr ask

Lol yes. All the parenthesis and the multiple 'I love all genders' really sent me.

This actually killed me:

(human) (i'm not a furry) (nothing against them) (i love all genders) with a car (honda civic)

Suddenly reminded of this:



I would give anything to know
(About the Stonehenge)
Yeah, I would give all I have to give
(Would you give them your car?)
(Hmm) Are you kidding me, of course I would have given the car
What car do you drive?
Drive a Civic, drive a Civic. Drive a Civic!
(A car you can trust!)
Never mind the car, let's talk about the henge
(What henge is that again?)
It's the Stonehenge, it's the Stonehenge!
God, it is the greatest henge of all!
What's the meaning of Stonehenge?

[Nyctophilia]

The charity's co-founder Sara Cunningham estimates that an average class of 30 children will have eight boys who admire Tate.

The teacher said that during the harassment workshop this student frequently referenced Tate, saying: "You shouldn't take no for an answer [from a girl] as that shows weakness."

She said: "I was shocked by the sheer number of young, seemingly lovely boys showing the same point of view."

By all means keep going until 50% of the female population call themselves lesbians and the other 50% are just Tumblr. And Solanas' prophecy is completed. That's what you were going for right?

Also this is America (tm) but I'm sure something like this will just keep happening over time here too increasingly polarised:

For much of the past two decades, young women and men have had similar political profiles. But the ideological differences between them grew rapidly over the past few years as young women became increasingly liberal. In 2021, 44 percent of young women consider themselves liberal, compared to only one quarter (25 percent) of young men, a nearly 20-point gender gap. A decade earlier, roughly similar numbers of young men (27 percent) and young women (30 percent) identified as liberal. These changes are also reflected in the diverging views about societal change. Young women stand out for their support for changing social norms in American society, including more women serving in the military, more children having gay or lesbian parents, and more men staying home with children. There are a few possible explanations for the expanding gender divide between young men and women. The growing disparity in educational attainment, distinct approaches to gender identity and sexual preferences, and even the visceral dislike of Donald Trump may contribute to the rapidly changing political orientations between the two groups.

And 50+50 adds up to 100% and I'm too lazy to break up the percentages further but of course some increasinging percentage of women are going to turn to self serving narcissistic endeavours because 'if men are trash [BEEP] them I'll get mine.' So you'll get way more false rape accusations, way more women who use men for money etc. You already see this a bunch on social media and it's going to get worse unless something changes.

How Narcissistic Leaders Destroy from Within

"There are leaders who may be abusive jerks but aren?t really narcissists," O?Reilly says. "The distinction is what motivates them. Are they driven to achieve some larger purpose? Do they really want to make the company or the country better, or accomplish some crazy goal like making electric cars mainstream and maybe colonizing Mars along the way? Or is it really all about their own aggrandizement?"

Such individuals seek positions of power where they can be admired and can demonstrate their superiority. And they tend to gain those posts because they look like prototypical leaders. "There must be 20 or 30 studies that demonstrate this," O?Reilly says. "If you gather a group of strangers and give them a task, those who are more narcissistic are much more likely to be selected as leaders."

But the gravest danger posed by such leaders is that their malignant influence guides the behavior and expectations of others -- and ultimately shapes the culture of the organization or polity in their own image. Studies of businesses show that self-serving, unethical behavior at the top cascades through the organization and becomes legitimized, or at least normalized.

So that's fun.

Also I just discovered this song and it's really good (I was liking Rush's heavier songs so yeah and the singer of this band - apparently died last year - had a high pitched voice again but looking at some of their later tracks his vocals were still decent but lower and less unique sounding but I think singing like this as a guy is hard especially as you get older):



This band are also weirdly similar to Rush in other ways lol but I think they formed a year before Rush? Like the lead singer at this time had long hair and glasses, high pitched voice, played bass. The drummer has long hair in this video and facial hair a bit like Neil Peart around that time. There's three of them. Everyone in the 70s was one of three people confirmed. The guitarist doesn't look like Alex Lifeson I guess.

[Nyctophilia]

Something tangentially related that I have to do more investigating on. We spend a lot of time culturally talking about the importance of boys having dads. Like I say I have to do more research but I did stumble on something not too long ago that suggests that in cases where the dad is particularly malignant, psychopathic, very antisocial etc it actually worsens boys/men's behaviour and they'd be better off without him.

I think that's important because if you have a kid, and the dad is really fucked up, keeping him away from the kids especially if they're boys might be best. It's not a universal truth that having a dad leads to better outcomes if it's a choice between no dad or really [BEEP] dad.

Also there's research that suggests girls have better self esteem when raised by two gay dads. There's a lot less research on gay dads compared to lesbian parents though and there's a much steeper barrier to entry to becoming parents as a gay dad especially biologically. Costs a lot more money and surrogacy is frowned upon a lot:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...a-battleground

Nobody asks someone having children naturally why they did it instead of adopting. I help others in other ways but that's not how I choose to do it

Gay men want surrogacy instead of adoption, she says, because of "genetic narcissism".

I don't want the surrogate daughter I carried to question if she's here because someone was taken advantage of. It added to my life in so many positive ways

"Situationally, we are the most infertile, by measure of the level of intervention that is required to achieve a pregnancy. We're also expected to be OK with not having children. This is the kind of discrimination we're trying to fight the most."

I think this is really unfair because nobody says this about lesbians or heterosexual couples or trans couples where they have at least one person with a womb in the relationship (people often say worse things though tbh about straight trans couples lol - uh no I need to be more specific when I say straight specifically a trans guy and a trans woman, or trans masc and trans femme person who has kids not a cis guy and a very feminine straight trans woman and they adopt or get a surrogate. Also trans guys in general being pregnant, they think it goes against nature. But I thought you said every genetic female person should get pregnant? You were so worried about their fertility but looks it's fine. What's wrong? 😏 )

Terfs tend to hate the idea of surrogacy (obviously some surrogacy is exploitative but they hate it regardless,) and they also hate the idea of artificial wombs and try to work to stop research into that (you'd think they might like that if they dislike surrogacy but no.) And they trans women. And they hate sex work. And they hate sex robots. And they hate AI porn. And anything that might 'replace the female sex.' Or involve women/the female sex behaving altruistically towards men/the male sex. Because they're chauvinists and they dislike female empathy probably often due to past trauma and having a fundamentalist religious upbringing that's why Aella is so fascinating though since she also had that upbringing but somehow is very different. She may be autistic though. I don't know she doesn't seem neurotypical though.

(lib fems tend to have varying opinions on most of these things instead of hating all of them because there are mild ideological overlaps. They usually are OK with surrogacy, sex work and trans women but dislike AI porn. That's what I've been seeing so far. Not sure why AI porn specifically bugs them maybe just cause it's new and not Human at all. I dunno.

I think a lot of conservatives are partly motivated by having an overreactive uncanny valley feeling in their brains. That was like half of Matt Walsh's insults/complaints about Dylan Mulvaney in the video where he was ranting about her, which makes them dislike trans women so it sort of fits. Also autistic people seem to have that way less which is why they like anime and anthropomorphised animals/objects etc so much. More likely to be furries. More likely to be trans/attracted to trans people from what I've seen. Femboys too. Everything on that voidpunk subreddit seems related. Maybe you just want to be a cyberpunk Roman statue fused with Anna Wintour?



Can't unsee it (I think it's a coincidence though):

It's really interesting you bring that up because I do think there is a universal mind that does gravitate towards this imagery or, somehow, it?s codified in the music and the general aesthetics of it. I know it?s leaked into this particular genre vaporwave, which is something I don?t really know much about, but I have noted that these sculptures and figures do pop up. I?ve always personally been really interested in the lifelessness of mannequins as well and sculptures. They convey so much, but they?re still totally inanimate. The idea behind us kind of whiting our faces out and not showing our eyes and trying to distance ourselves from the humans behind their instruments as much as possible and be more into the objectified zone.

I like the idea of the static statue that is imbued with so much more symbology, but it's static. The point of the record cover was to also be static. I?m really interested in mime history and that is an homage to a French mime artist, Marcel Marceau. The Greco-Roman figures are important. The Venus Di Milo had it's own specific application about how it's missing its arms and there's a whole theme about arms in the first record. In the song "The Foyer," the first lyric is, "You can?t feel those arms of mine," and that was a reference to something else, but the Venus Di Milo missing its arms was the most immediate reference that I could point to that would describe that particular scenario about not being able to feel one?s arms. I like that relationship. Apollo has just found its way into the set organically.

Someone should actually do research on that politically though. It seems relevant to the debate about transhumanism, AI porn (specifically porn there are several different debates happening about AI at least simultaneously that aren't related to the visuals,) and the debate about transgender people.

In saying that there are two ways to respond to the sensation right? Well a spectrum. You could experience it and dislike it or experience it and think 'cool' or even be turned on by it. I mean I like mildly creepy stuff. When I was using faceapp to make Loki more feminine I noticed all the little imperfections and weird stuff the AI did and it sort of added to the attraction. I also like mildly creepy people in TV/film whatever. It started with Beetlejuice when I was 7. One person on twitter... That seems insulting though lol. I dunno. I'm kind of creepy too and have that effect on people so. When I was a teenager some people compared me to Samara from The Ring and a girl said her mum said I seemed like Wednesday Addams in an insulting way and people kept joking that I was going to kill/destroy everyone. This continued up until I stopped socialising with people regularly irl. I think because of the juxtaposition of seeming very neotenic/childish but being weird and socially anxious.

When AI is perfected that will have uses but I'm going to miss all the quirky extra fingers, weird teeth, and other stuff that's uniquely AI.

And that's how I ended up dating a cannibal. 'You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.' Lol no.

I mostly attracted guys who are emotionally unstable and have borderline traits. Maybe vulnerable narcissistic traits too. Socially anxious etc. So my dad but more extreme. And somewhat more insane versions of myself. Some guys were also not like that at all. A woman with bipolar who I think was having a manic episode hit on me once. I don't think I've attracted any would-be cannibal types so far.

[Heelsbythebridge]

The big boys need to show up

Or this is the last game they will ever play together

[Nyctophilia]

https://aella.substack.com/p/which-g...e-more-similar

I asked about a bunch of stuff - big5 personality, childhood, mental illnesses, but mostly stuff related to sex - porn use and fetishes. I asked about age various fetishes began, about BMI, IQ, attachment style, where they got to the survey from, if they?re married, how ashamed they feel, how many sexual partners, etc. Overall there were around 1,100 datapoints gathered from this survey per person.

Non-cis answers tend to be similar to each other; in general, any given non-cis group will correlate more strongly with any other non-cis group, regardless of gender or birth sex. The only exception here is female enbies, who were more similar to cis women.

Enbies are very similar to their corresponding transgender group; male enbies answered about the same as transwomen, and female enbies about the same as transmen.

I don't really get how these two statements can be true simultaneously. Like how are all non-cis groups similar to each other regardless of gender + birth sex except afab non-binary who are closer to cis women but at the same time non-binary afab people are also most similar to trans men? edit: and trans women and amab non-binary people are apparently dissimilar from cis women and cis men so it's not that either.

Squinting, I think the trends seem to coincide? Non-cis males seem to be most similar to non-cis females. and almost equally dissimilar to both cis men and women. Non-cis females are more similar to cis women, cis men are the most similar to cis women, etc.

Enbies are very similar to their corresponding transgender group; male enbies answered about the same as transwomen, and female enbies about the same as transmen.

Cis men and transmen had the most dissimilar scores of any group comparisons measured

Cis men are most similar to cis women? Non-cis males are similar to non-cis females? afab non-binary people are similar to cis women but also most similar to trans men? Trans men are least similar to cis men but not similar to cis women?

??? I don't know I'm missing something.

It's interesting that you can see bio_males and bio_females are a bit different (-0.21), but queerbiofemale is basically the opposite of bio_male (-0.9). As if the identity is to be what straight males are not.

This might explain it a bit because I think most afab non-binary people and some [BEEP] trans men basically try to model themselves on effeminate gay men and straight trans women. Who are ironically hyper feminised in many ways (possibly even compared to straight cis women in some ways.) Both because progressive communities are often toxic to men and masculinity and because there's always been a tendency for [BEEP] trans men to want to imitate androgynous men. That's why there are certain communities of trans women online who are always getting pissed off with afab non-binary people as they see them as direct competition (even moreso than cis women somehow.)

But this doesn't apply to probably most [BEEP] women or reflect other research at all. They usually find bi women are masculinised relative to straight women and lesbian women are masculinised relative to bisexual women and so on. And there are separate categories for [BEEP] people of both sexes and non-binary people in this survey anyway apparently so I dunno. It is useful to separate everyone by sexuality also because sexuality effects personality and androphiles are different from gynephiles. Clearly this is a sample taken mostly from tiktok (that happened in her other survey so I assume.)

My intuition would be that these results are dominated by gender progressivism, as women are more progressive than men and trans people are more progressive than cis people.

Yeah.

Lol very related:

sometimes i think about how white and basic and toned-down my romantic fantasies have become,,, like all I want is a slightly older trans guy who tops and will play video games next to me while I read Virginia Woolf on the couch

"heteronormativity is great" that's me i said that. i'm a trans woman and i said that and you can quote me

trans guys reading this like "yes i *also* want a slightly older trans guy who tops and will play video games while I read Virginia Woolf on the couch" now you understand my problem!!!

lots of useful talk today about trans men who are "straight" and "bisexual," but we're still very unclear on the topping situation

trans men can be female socialized <3 i can be female socialized too <3 <3 we can all be female socialized <3 <3 <3 the question is if you'll top me

okie the final thing you all need to understand about every one of my angry takes about "pegging" is that at the end of the day I'm essentially just a tgirl pick-me for straight trans masc tops, all seven of them

Trans Men and the Moral Obligation to Top: A [BEEP] Inquiry into Sexual Morality (pg 1/644)

trans guys who are into me and also bottoms are a microaggression

Imagine if I tried to date people and was attractive. The bar is so low now and I still have no self confidence at all. Of course part of the issue is that my hair is pretty long, I haven't medically transitioned, and I'm non-binary. Don't have butch vibes either. My entire personality etc.

Tragic: local woman goes to trans event, only gets hit on by cis men.

trans men owe me masculinity. please have it on my desk by 9 AM monday morning

I still need to find more accounts like this but there are barely any actually. 3 I think. That I've found.

There was another specific tweet I was looking for from someone but I can't remember enough of it to find it. Just someone listing what they were looking for and it was so basic and I was like 'so close.' I think one thing they said was 'bad at art' lmfao. I was searching for random keywords to try and remember what I was looking at when I read it before. Just reading theyfab tweets now lol.

I wish I hadn't been introduced to the concept of a "theyfab." Now I have a little voice in my head saying "theyfab behavior" if I cry, listen to pop music, take in art created by women, or care about something besides Marvel movies, statistics, and lifting.

Statistics lmao. It's so bad though yeah.

Oh god no I ended up back in age gap relationship discourse twitter:

As somebody who regularly works around 18-21 year olds, I can confidently it say would be incredibly predatory for me (29) to date someone that young, let alone have a child with them.

Anyway I'm definitely never finding that tweet I have no idea what I was searching for at the time.

[Heelsbythebridge]

Motherfucker just kill me I can't take this

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

DONT LET WHAT HAPPENED TO US HAPPEN TO THEM

[Heelsbythebridge]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHhHHHHHHhHHHHHHHhHHHhHHHHHHHHh HHHHHHHhHHJJJJJjJHHHHHhHHHHhHHHhHHHHHHHhHHHHHHhHHH HHHhHHHHHjJJJJJJ

[Heelsbythebridge]

I believe in you always

It's so hard

Forget all the noise

Remember why you came here

[Nyctophilia]

This seems alarmist from the World Health Organisation. And I say this as someone who thinks there are various illegal drugs that are less damaging than alcohol and people downplay the risks of alcohol based on tradition.

[Otherside]

This seems alarmist from the World Health Organisation. And I say this as someone who thinks there are various illegal drugs that are less damaging than alcohol and people downplay the risks of alcohol based on tradition.

Most things in life have risk. If you leave the house, you may get hit by a car and die. If you don't leave the house the boiler could be seeping out toxic Carbon Monoxide and you could die. Eating burnt toast is a carcinogen.

But, life is not without risk. We can't insulate ourselves from everything. Life is for living.

[Otherside]

Every single year, there is one country that manages to send an entry that just makes you think "WTF". Bonus points if the lyrics are not in English and you have no clue what they are singing about.

Last year, Norway got the prize, though you could understand that they were singing about giving a wolf a banana even if it made little sense why you'd do that.

This year, the award for Eurovision WTF goes to Croatia, who appear to have sent a bunch of old men wearing underwear and an army hat, alongside a man carrying two fame rockets. They are singing in Croatian, and I don't actually speak Croatian, so I have no idea what the song is about, and the only word I can pick out is "mama", which is repeated every now and then.

There needs to be a separate award here. One which is actually "Eurovision winner". Another which is "Eurovision WTF of the year."

Edit - Finland gets second place.

[Nyctophilia]

Most things in life have risk. If you leave the house, you may get hit by a car and die. If you don't leave the house the boiler could be seeping out toxic Carbon Monoxide and you could die. Eating burnt toast is a carcinogen.

But, life is not without risk. We can't insulate ourselves from everything. Life is for living.

Yeah I had to check it was their official twitter account. It just seemed so dramatic. I feel like someone should have pointed that out because they probably have some kind of screening process but obviously not. And there are enough people who don't take them seriously already. That isn't going to do them any favours.

[Nyctophilia]

"I can count on one hand the number of people who have seen me shirtless," Langly deadpanned. "More people have seen my thighs, and that is ... ninety percent the fault of this particular cocktail dress I will never speak of again, and that is the last time Frohike got to pick what I was going undercover in."

"That was the theory, and let me tell you, looking back, I wish we'd gotten a grip on that theory sooner. I'd have been spared at least three excursions dressed up like an expensive hooker."

"I'm sorry, did you just say you were dressed up like a hooker?" Reid recoiled, trying to get a look at Langly's face.

"Hey, I have great legs," Langly protested. "And it works better from the back. Nice hair, nice legs, nobody looks too close."

"Now do you believe I had to dress up like a hooker?" Langly teased, taking a small box out of his purse and sliding it across the table. "God, I love the future. I walk into a middle-of-the-road coffee shop like this, and nobody even blinks." He paused. "I still want to go back home and put on pants. It's really unnerving."

"For what it's worth, you look good." Reid slid the package into a pocket. "Not that you don't usually look good, but I mean..."

"I don't look like a fucking clown?" Langly drawled.

"That too, but more than that. You don't look more nervous than a woman alone in an unfamiliar neighbourhood. And it's not a bad look on you." Reid wondered if he was still digging the hole he had a terrible sense had just gaped open under him.

"Don't get used to it. It's convenient, but it's not me. I'm not coming with you to the company Christmas party dressed like this, if that's what you're not asking."

"It's not," Reid assured him. "What I'm not asking is what I'm holding and why it was so important."

A small sound of amusement slipped out of Reid. "Yeah, that's you."

"I look like a fucking secretary!" Langly complained, rotating the view.

"It's why you wear dresses so well. Enough of your mannerisms are feminine that no one looks twice." Reid shifted to get the arm he wasn't leaning on past Langly's back and traced the motion of one arm. "And it's a really specific subset, too, a lot of the time. What you said before about getting punched in the face? More than half of the ones I've seen on you are related to the long-term expectation of violence. Not what usually reads as fear -- that's short-term. You take up as little space as possible [...] It's what you see in people who are regularly harassed on public transit, and statistically, those people are mostly women, so it comes off as a feminine behaviour."

[...]

"That's really fucked up," Langly decided, still hung up on the previous revelation, as he pulled the conversation back toward it, without taking his eyes off the screen. "Are you telling me every time somebody called me girly, it's because I looked like I was trying not to get punched?"

"A lot of the time, probably." Reid shrugged with his free shoulder. "Not all of them are that. Some of them are how you handle your hair. You have a few others that won't show here, because you're sitting, but the not getting punched ones are the ones that stand out. It took me until that day in the coffee shop to figure out those had nothing to do with me."

"So, what you're saying is ..." Langly shook his head, chasing off the broader implications, for the moment. "That's fucked up. That's not okay at all."

"I would tend to agree."

There's so many references to Langly wearing a dress/crossdressing in these fanfics for work that I'm like 'did he wear a dress?' I haven't watched most of the x-files just watched The Lone Gunmen and like 3 episodes of the X-files. I know it's fanfiction but still. Also I guess because I don't remember the show 100% and I know they joked about him looking like a girl several times on the show. I think he probably didn't though.



Also reoccurring preoccupation with stranger violence. And that goes back to thinking about this recent tweet Contrapoint's tweeted:

I have felt threatened by unwell people on public transit, I have been verbally abused, I have been masturbated at. But you know what I didn't do to any of those people? Murder them.

So many Americans seem to have several stories like this. It seems much rarer here on public transport. Americans make me think they're constantly being harassed by strangers on public transit (not just harassed even like there's a lot of mentally ill violently aggressive people,) and getting catcalled while walking down the street is another thing I've never experienced here. Perhaps that explains why I can't relate to how scared people on social media feel about violence (and I guess I struggle with feeling sympathy for people on social media who bring it up a lot because they often seem to be weaponising it or they only bring it up as an excuse for why it's OK to be misandric and/or transphobic.)

I wouldn't say it's a matter of being feminine presenting either (as an explanation for why I've not had this experience from strangers often,) as the one time I recall seeing someone being harassed by a drunk person on a train (can't really remember the details now, but this guy who was drunk kept trying to get this person to go to a pub or something with him when they got off the train? Maybe? And they were very androgynous looking, very short hair. He really wasn't getting that they weren't interested. I kind of wanted to say something because it was painful but the train was really packed and I was too far away.) I also had a drunk woman sit down and try to talk with me on a train once but she wasn't threatening. Was just uncomfortable. I really don't remember that at all so I thought it would be useful to go back and I think it was worse than I remember haha (I have this great ability to just black out uncomfortable stuff. I did it with most of the bullying I got from that one girl too.) All I remembered is that she was drunk and spilled her drink on herself and was awkwardly talking to me.

On the train today I ended up sitting next to this woman who had been drinking a bit, but not too drunk. It was 12:30-1:00pm. She spoke a few times, talking about stuff like animals she wanted to see outside the window. It was obvious she took that journey quite often. I think she was having a bad day. Then a bit later ended up spilling her drink on herself. She also started touching my arm at one point not long after that while talking to me and was like 'sorry I keep touching you is this alright?' (no... Not exactly, but I guess I'll just ignore that to avoid awkwardness since I'm leaving the train soon) then started complaining about how people are 'so weird about that these days.' 'Technology has made everyone unable to connect.'

Then she started talking about how the name of the place we were getting off at used to be called something else and then started off on a rant about how men there killed women (I have no idea what historically specifically she was referring to as it seemed to be a specific thing,) and finished with 'men are *******s.'

Pretty sure she assumed I was a teenager and pointed out that I was small at one point. It was probably for the best that she thought that because she clearly thought my very noticeable anxiety was less weird as a result. Initially I was surprised enough I guess that I started breathing weirdly and then started panicking about my breathing so that took about ten minutes to get under control. As we were getting off at the stop she turned to someone behind her and joked that I chucked a drink at her which she also said before is what she'd tell her (25 year old) daughter who she was meeting. And who was apparently big and could beat me up. She was joking though.

Anyway that was the most awkward thing I've experienced on public transport here. Of course it happened the second time I was on a train in the North ever lol. This was pretty much me (not from London though.)

Also I spent like 7 hours in train stations/on trains today. Not because this journey should have taken more than 4 hours even with the changes, but because trains were constantly delayed/cancelled because of missing people. Not technical fault, not engineering work. Just to the extent that they ever explained any of that 'a bunch of people who were supposed to be here disappeared.' lol. Then there was like a train to Manchester Airport I was going to catch except it only had four coaches and was so packed I couldn't even fit on it standing so went to Birmingham new street instead (which tbh was more convenient anyway,) but had to wait a while.

Damn. I forgot all of this man. I also forgot that she just started ranting about men haha. Why is everyone like this now? (No but this could only happen to me.)

This is my account of the other train incident:

So I was on the train, and it was really packed right so I was sat on the floor because I couldn't be bothered with standing up the whole way back. Behind me there were two people but I didn't get a look at them because I was facing the other way.

There was this guy and a woman(?) and they were having a pretty loud conversation. She was from Poland and talking about a bunch of stuff like how she'd moved and how she had depression. She got a call from a female friend at this point briefly. Then after he invited her to get a drink when they reached the stop (they were getting off at the same place.) She turned him down saying she had to meet her friend. At this point you'd think he'd maybe ask for her number, and let it go but lol oh no.

He continued to nag them about getting a drink saying things like 'you're hard work' and **** like that. And they were like 'I'm pretty antisocial' and 'you don't know me I'm OK today because I've taken my medication' literally talking about mental illness but the guy persisted. At one point he called them a lady and they were like 'I'm not a lady where I come from ladies have money' then a bit more talking and then 'I'm not really a woman, I have bigger balls than most guys' and at this point, it'd been going on so long I really wanted to intervene because it's like dude... This is painful now. But they sounded OK with the 'conversation,' so it continued on until we got to the station.

But that was ****ing special lol.

Someone just (I think) sarcastically responded to that with 'OK thanks for sharing this'

Lol [BEEP] you. 😂

That's kind of why my constant rambling about stuff is probably important (for me.) Because my memory is seriously shit. I read back old posts sometimes and I'm like 'oh wow I didn't know I felt like that at that time' and stuff like that. Sometimes I kind of predict the future especially my own future too.

There were a couple of instances while walking around too (not on public transport,) like a drunk guy trying to talk to me during the day and then getting mildly irritated when I just walked past him, and someone I didn't see groped me in a nightclub once. One guy asked me for a cigarette and then when I said I didn't have one he started yelling after me but it wasn't really insulting more like trying to get my attention again possibly because he didn't hear my answer in the first place, but I just kept walking. For the most part though everyone who has sexually harassed me, verbally abused me, or even attempt to physically assault me has been someone I've known personally for a while.

The responses to Contrapoints tweet were even more insane. Like a bunch of people talking about their encounters and then people insisting that not killing people makes you weak and other fucked up stuff:

Because you're weak.

how many people have you murdered lol

That's because you're a useless coward.

So what you're saying is you won't kill me if I masturbate at you?

This one was weirdly robotic:

It is entirely possible that you lack the raw physical strength, in the absence of extensive martial arts training, to kill anyone with your bare hands.

3 days ago in LA I literally got punched in the back the head by someone who was having mental issues. I extracted myself from the situation w/my friend and didn?t hit her back or escalate the situation. Yeah it was scary and sucked, but it wasn't hard to avoid murdering her.

My friend and I discussed calling then police then immediately decided against since you know, they don?t exactly have a great track record of either supporting or not killing people who are having a mental breakdown either.

I have had men push me against the wall to press against my body unexpectedly. I had several drunk men dance all over me. I had several women kiss and feel all over me when they were drunk. i was threatened the entire time. Didn't kill anyone of them

"People who DON'T murder others yelling at them are soft" is quite the take.

lol.

This was the guy Contrapoints was responding to:

Contra's response is so much worse than my initial wrong-headed assumption.

He assumed she hadn't actually experienced any fucked up stuff.

He choked him for 15 minutes straight. It's not Mortal Kombat where you get to kill someone after they've been incapacitated.

True I don't get why that happened and he was an ex-marine but I assume they aren't really trained to restrain people, only to kill them.

There's one of those insecure GAY guys who calls themselves 'an androphile not gay' in her mentions as well haha. I really hate a lot of male autoandrophiles (one theory for what the [BEEP] is going on with these guys,) cause they usually start out life feminine, develop a 'thing' for being the absolute worst hegemonically masculine man imaginable. (It just seems less common with afab autoandrophiles honestly. They mostly seem to want to be femboys lol I'm somewhere in between.) And then have a major issue with trans women, feminine gay men etc.

Androphile not gay. Distrusting the appropriative and assimilationist LGBTQQIP2SAA monolith. My tribe has its own dreams. Testo-brained. Gender-critical.

What is best in life?
- To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the men who say they're women.

(I had a look and he has a bunch of other tweets that are very performative and larpy too but not quoting them all. At one point he told someone to 'leave the scolding to the chicks because men will have sex how they want' in response to a guy tweeting about how sexually active gay men should take prep you know so they don't get AIDS...)

It's hard to decide if they're more annoying than the straight guys they imitate or not. Maybe more because they're not usually 'wired that way.' So get better taste. But I guess that's unfair. They can't control that they were taught to hate themselves because they are usually feminine (to varying degrees,) and were raised male, and have terrible taste in men. And they can't even control the urge to resemble (to varying degrees,) the men they find attractive. If you could just. Oh I don't know, not join the far right and demonise other effeminate men and trans women because you hate yourself because of the West's homophobia and transphobia and general disgust of femininity that would be uh great.

edit: Watch Fight Club? I know the author of the book is gay but I promise it's a very straight boy thing to do. And then miss the entire point I guess and try to be the edgelord Tyler character. 😂 American Psycho also works but the film adaptation was written by a lesbian and he won't like that.

Imagine having this taste in men though. It couldn't be me. Kink shaming I guess.

I don't think I'm attracted to them (in the below video,) but usually I am attracted to the people I want to imitate (maybe it's repressed sometimes? I don't know. Nobody actually knows how any of this works and there's minimal work on the sexuality of genetic female people):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5411duvNeE

If you're not [BEEP] or a 'disgusting heterosexual fetishist' (you have to pick one of these in current society, and technically both are equated regardless it's just a question of whether you want everyone to think you're a disgusting fetishist or just some people,) this might be confusing. So. Timestamp Or no you don't have to watch that lol. Some people just want to be like the people they find attractive (or some of them)and then sometimes have confusion over whether they want to be people they find attractive or see them as aspirational.

I'm [BEEP] and a disgusting heterosexual fetishist. I'm reclaiming everything. *Insert corny Tyrion Lanister quote or something* and from so many directions depending on your lens/view of gender. Who hasn't had a sex dream wearing women's clothing while being genetically female? I've watched a yaoi series before. (I'm a bit too Western to be into it hardcore obviously most people will talk about fujoshi and always talk about anime but you know we have Western stuff.) Also quite want to be men I've been sexually attracted to. But so do lots of gay men. And so do lots of gay women. Yes the gay women who watch gay male porn is a thing too. But also the gay women who want to be other women. And the straight women watching lesbian porn.

Only Blur can understand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDswiT87oo8

Back to the gay fascists though (not sure if this is the guy who started using androphile in this context, maybe just popularised it I don't know. I've mentioned him before but he's the go to example because a significant portion of his life is laid out on wikipedia for comparison. Obviously a lot of gay men were feminine in childhood to varying degrees and then become less so with age, sometimes they want to be more masculine, but in Western culture they're not given a choice):

Donovan was born in 1974 and grew up in a blue-collar household in rural Pennsylvania.[6]: 243  He moved to New York in the 1990s to study fine art. During this period, he says that he attended and worked as a dancer at gay clubs, marched in gay pride parades, and associated with drag queens.[5][7] He later dropped out of college and became a manual laborer.[5] Donovan has also lived in California and Portland, Oregon. He has worked as a club dancer, truck driver, and tattoo artist.[6]: 243 

Donovan has been described as gay,[4] though he does not use the label for himself and has criticized gay culture as effeminate.[8]: 173  He has described himself as an "androphile", a term he uses to describe romance and sex between masculine men.[8]: 113  In his 2006 book Androphilia: A Manifesto, he wrote, "I am not gay because the word gay connotes so much more than same-sex desire... The word gay describes a whole cultural and political movement that promotes anti-male feminism, victim mentality, and leftist politics."[5] He removed the book from print in 2017, and has said he has "transcended both that identity and that sexuality".[9]

So when people accuse straight guys like this of being gay... I totally get where it's coming from. Perhaps they're not even consciously aware but good noticing. (Obviously they're not all gay but yeah some are.)

No you can't hide your [BEEP] that you may not even be aware of yourself from me. I see a lot of things. It's my special interest haha.

Edit: I want to be really clear here that I'm not just pulling insulting [BEEP] out of my ass. He fits a 'type' and since he's decided to go after trans women. I see no problem with what I'm writing.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11991561/

Contemporary research has shown that a significant portion of gay men have traits, interests, occupations, and behaviors that are consistent with the stereotype of gay men as effeminate, androgynous, or unmasculine. A great number of gay men exhibit gender nonconformity during childhood; most, however, "defeminize" during adolescence, possibly in response to stigmatization and society's gender-role prescription. Only a relatively small percentage of gay men continue to be gender-nonconforming in their adulthood, often at a price, as they also tend to have lower psychological well-being. Although gay culture historically appreciated camp and drag, which subvert the gender-based power hierarchy and celebrate gender nonconformity, anti-effeminacy prejudice is widespread among gay men. Ironically, gender-nonconforming gay men may suffer from discrimination not only from society at large, but from other gay men, who are most likely to have experienced stigmatization and may have been effeminate earlier in their lives. Drawing from anecdotes and findings from various sources, this article suggests that beyond many gay men's erotic preference for masculinity lies contempt and hostility toward effeminacy and effeminate men on sociopolitical and personal levels. Two correlates of gay men's anti-effeminacy attitudes are proposed: (a) hegemonic masculinity ideology, or the degree to which one subscribes to the value system in which masculinity is an asset, and men and masculinity are considered superior to women and femininity; and (b) masculinity consciousness, or the saliency of masculinity in one's self-monitoring, public self-consciousness, and self-concept. These two variables are hypothesized to interact with gay men's self-perceived masculinity-femininity and their history of defeminization in predicting attitudes toward effeminacy. Research is underway to measure levels of anti-effeminacy attitudes and explore hypothesized correlates.

There's no issue with becoming less feminine with age. I'm not as feminine as I was at 6 years old now. But there's a lot of baggage they drag with them. Radical feminists are a bit like this too though and sometimes for similar reasons (often not for similar reasons though, there are several different things going on there.) I know of at least one on YouTube who spent all her time criticising makeup etc calling it 'slave paint' and after listening to a bunch of stuff she'd said it became obvious her dad had taught her that femininity was wrong.

A lot of trans men and non-binary people do the opposite especially younger people. As I suggested in a previous recent post. You'll notice also they found that the [BEEP] women answering were more feminine than the general 'female' category. Going against pretty much all other research on [BEEP] women. So a lot of people become obnoxiously opposed to men and masculinity kind of like ftmtf (if they're trans.) Someone's analysis of that:

It's interesting that you can see bio_males and bio_females are a bit different (-0.21), but queerbiofemale is basically the opposite of bio_male (-0.9). As if the identity is to be what straight males are not.

My intuition would be that these results are dominated by gender progressivism, as women are more progressive than men and trans people are more progressive than cis people.

https://aella.substack.com/p/which-g...e-more-similar

So you know I find everyone annoying now lol.

And so no I don't recommend anyone 'become non-binary' that's just a label but your psychological profile will remain the same regardless and I wouldn't recommend that. I don't want to 'confuse people' lol. By making them aware non-binary people exist or even androgynous people they're having a meltdown right now about Kristen Stewart and 'her woke/ugly style' she's not even trans or non-binary. I mean to a certain extent I think it's a common Human trait that almost everyone engages in at some point where you prefer people to be more like you and if they're very different you can't relate and might find them annoying but no I don't think that's a good tendency. I wouldn't recommend being non-binary because the sexes are in a constant state of war. So consider how insane men and women often are and why and then imagine you're somehow supposed to integrate the two and everything that annoys other people you have it x2 (and you know it's a diverse umbrella term label so this won't describe everyone but yeah I wouldn't recommend this.) It seems like it shouldn't be worse now but every generation thinks it is worse. And there's always complaining that men are becoming more feminine in the press for like at least 120 years. Virginia Woolf seemed to think it was terrible back in her day 'the worst and most sex conscious time of all.' Similar for bisexual people they also don't seem to be doing well. (Homosexual people are more well adjusted comparatively.) I think because there is some level of security in a static binary existence and identity the Human mind kind of favours that and so do groups and organisations etc. Fluidity is messy and a threat to boundaries. But you don't get to choose this. Nor do you get to choose your level of neuroticism (which is the big thing for everyone online lol.) So.

There might have been a culture where it worked better I don't know. It's definitely not working now right and that's not surprising at all because look at everything. I don't think this is the best culture that could exist genderwise (or in many other areas lol.)

In saying that. I hate being controlled. I avoid people partly to avoid being controlled. So in that sense I'm a bit schizoid. So I definitely wouldn't be interested in conversion therapy. And I am quite happy being non-binary. In spite of everything.

To reify what I constantly say about the dividing gender line actually being your willingness to violently assault other Humans (in the fascist/far right/masculinist mind at least it seems,) a mass load of right wingers who I'm sure are transphobic in every other context, are responding to this Contrapoints tweet knowing she's a trans woman calling her a woman and talking about 'repealing the 19th' which I believe allows women to vote.

The two genders: Murderer and woman.

Anyways:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYOjWnS4cMY

Lol this became a rant about everything. Initially I was just going to post those fanfic quotes and make a brief comment. But I never manage that. Ever.

'Why are video essay so long in this attention economy?'

I get how this can happen lol.