Random Thought of the Day

[Nyctophilia]

I'm a 32 year old heterosexual tomboy female. When I was little, I told my mom I wanted to grow up and be a big strong man. I also told her I wanted to marry Hulk Hogan 😂 looking back on this, I know why I said it. I was very much attracted to the opposite sex, in an innocent way of course, but that natural instinct was there. I admired males, what they liked ,and wanted to be around them. If I was born in this newer generation, with liberal parents. ..I'd have been told I was trans or lesbian and you can imagine what kind of damage that would do to a heterosexual female. People forget there are boyish straight girls, and straight boys that like some traditionally feminine things. Also, regular gay people exist. This trans ideology is a symptom of Cultural Marxism. I know trans people exist but its incredibly rare and to pretend this isn't being socially engineered is the equivalent of sticking ones head in the sand.

I kind of love it when people do this because guess what? I'm 32 years old and non-binary. I prefer my taste in men though.

#basedandRachildepilled

I don't want Rachilde's life at all lol and mine is not much better. They did the best thing they could at the time given their circumstances I believe. They were also homophobic towards lesbians (which I don't approve of.) I think it's a reasonable assumption to say they wanted people to view them as a gay man (though it was ambiguous somewhat) and so was pissed off when people kept calling them a lesbian which is the inverse (prob was bisexual though since they had a relationship with at least one woman at one point.)

Even their work was sometimes viewed that way like this is Oscar Wilde's opinion about Monsieur Venus:

And, if one report at least is accurate--according to Andre Raffalovich, Wilde was excited about the novel because in it "a lesbian dresses her lover as a man" (Ellmann 282)--Wilde thought that the novel was about lesbianism. While it may seem difficult to defend this particular reading (of all the possible permutations, the lesbian seems the least likely, and, in fact, in a conversation with Raittolbe, Raoule specifically denies that her interests are sapphic), the novel is sufficiently imprecise and vague as to allow many interpretations, including the most innocent.

So because of this they became quite defensive and hostile towards lesbians at one point insulting them and then saying 'Je suis un homme,' In their writing too - mothers as well (I don't think they should have had a kid they clearly didn't want one or to be a mother.) All this in the late 1800s. Making this next comment more ironic:

Read "Diary of a teenage girl". The same thing happens with misinterpreting wanting to be "like" an older girl she admired, and wanting to be "with" that girl. Today she would be told she is gay.

Where is this 'today' and 'these days' mentality coming from? Well a complete ignorance of history obviously.

Also funny that the 'admiration/attraction' thing is coming up in this comment given my previous post.

I was meaning to cut it but couldn't be bothered. It's actually quite annoying when it's long because it's more effort + the heat now that it's summer. Then I was like 'what if I see how long I can get it' but then there will be hair everywhere because I have mild trichotillomania so prob not a good idea and I'm not fully committed but if I cut it I'll have to regrow it again which takes time. I need a button. Also yeah it's also because I'm driven subconsciously (well it's not that subconscious since I consciously noticed,) from time to time to look like guys I find attractive eg: 1970s/early 80s Geddy Lee.

Also I'm less attracted to the members of Drab Majesty who I also mentioned in that post (but I don't think it's a coincidence that despite that they do fit into my general 'type', there are other ambiguous cases - both genders - but with most people the attraction is way less ambiguous and just very fucking obvious to me,) but they have a cool aesthetic/vibe too so the desire to imitate them is there too:





[BEEP] people usually feel that way. In straight people it gets defined as autogynephilia or autoandrophilia (these terms are very controversial and widely misunderstood, but I think for some people it explains their experiences well,) because it was unusual enough that it became clinically recognised (also it contributes to transition and dysphoria in some cases so the correlation was noted so [BEEP] trans people are defined this way too,) but it's more common in cisgender [BEEP] people (it doesn't have much impact for them for obvious reasons, but sometimes you get phenomenon like 'boyfriend twins.') 'Call me by your name' has some elements of this too from what I remember (but it's been too long and I cba searching for quotes etc. I haven't read/watched it I just read something at one point where someone was quoting it.) The song by Lil Nas X named after that references this as well. If you're not actually attracted to some degree, there would be no ambiguity or confusion imo.

Your horror at the prospect of someone believing they might be gay is noted though.



"There's always that older girl in school isn't there? Who you get obsessed with"

Man/woman is outraged.

Obviously I've said this before but I was obsessed with an older girl at one point when I was 13. It was the only time that ever happened with debatably a non-romantic crush all my other obsessions have been romantic. (I've always been sexually aroused by women/female bodies, also certain voices I guess I went through a phase of listening to audioporn with this one woman, but romantic attraction is frequently ambiguous.) She had glasses and liked Green Day and I really liked Green Day so that contributed. That didn't confuse me at the time at all. I felt weird/creepy though because we never talked because of my social anxiety so I just obsessed from a distance. But it didn't make me question my sexuality.

Despite various stuff I've gone into before. I didn't really start questioning my sexuality until I started dating guys irl and having multiple relationships and realised it really wasn't working. Since I always knew I was attracted to guys - or at least since early puberty - I had no reason to question that before then. I mean I guess there were plenty of reasons lol but I didn't.

And then after the complete [BEEP] show that is culture + the internet with the gatekeeping and the gaslighting and the non stop demonising. I ultimately decided to not really accept any sexuality label to this day because I don't care so much about sexuality labels. I started questioning my gender while at uni but didn't really come out online until late 2015ish. And this was really difficult because during that whole period society became really transphobic and I was exposed to non stop debates online even on an anxiety forum. People challenging me about it a lot. Hateful comments etc. Which obviously has really fucked me up. I still have a lot of shame and discomfort with existing obviously and I don't want to see a therapist because I don't trust people, and don't want someone to effectively push conversion therapy on me. Not out to my parents only out to my brother and friend (friend doesn't get it.) But I am non-binary. A fact nobody will ever be happy with. When I'm not feeling like complete [BEEP] I feel pretty happy about that though internally. But it's really hard living in this current culture with this current technology. So I see why so many people now and throughout Western history live with shame/commit suicide/detransition where applicable/abuse drugs/live in isolation etc.



I also hadn't heard of the book they were talking about (diary of a teenage girl,) it doesn't seem to be a central theme. She seems very confident in her attraction to men at least based on the wikipedia page. Mostly it seems to be about a teen girl seducing her mother's boyfriend....... Because the young guys just can't 'handle her sexuality' LOL I wonder if this is a Matt Walsh teen pregnancy situation. Looking again actually it seems the book is also somewhat different from the film. If this description is accurate they make it seems like she's seducing him in the film where as in the book it looks like it's the other way around.

Also found the anecdote they must be referring to:

While out with her friends Minnie meets Tabatha, a teenage lesbian hustler. Minnie feels attracted to Tabatha though her friends warn her against spending time with her. Minnie continues to skip school and is given a therapist to whom she confesses her relationship with Monroe.

Minnie finds sex with a rich boy unfulfilling, then has several erotic encounters with a mysterious teenage junkie Tabatha (Margarita Levieva), which open her to lesbian sexual adventures.

It's not really clear. Well it seems fairly clear 'several erotic encounters' but it's not really clear wtf they're talking about lol. Of course the lesbian character is a junkie.

I also like how (speaking about the phenomenon I mentioned,) 'is just sexuality' if you're straight (But still don't act on that, ignore it,) and it's 'just admiration' if you're cisgender and gay/bisexual. So no matter what you're always supposed to be cisgender and heterosexual. That's very convenient for you isn't it?

"I made this choice in life and I feel this way about myself and I'm horrified by the idea that I could be you and everyone should do/feel exactly the same thing as me."

No. [BEEP] off.

I could do the same thing to her lol she wouldn't like it "Realising that she had no hope of ever becoming Hulk Hogan she..."

Would you mind defining "cultural Marxism", please?

Much like the word "woke", it seems to be an ill-defined term to describe things not exclusively heterosexual and white.

Additionally, it's remarkably similar to the "cultural Bolshevism" of N@zi Germany. Do you wish to be lumped together with people like that?

Please, take your time defining your terms. I'll wait.

Exactly.

[Nyctophilia]

One thing that's kind of a pain about tumblr is how most communication is just via tags. Honestly I haven't tried to communicate with others there enough to understand fully the nuance between when you can add something to someone's post or just use tags. (I think Strange Aeons tried to explain that at one point lol.) Fairly sure my thoughts on the below post don't warrant adding though lol. You can also just reply to stuff now directly that seems reasonably new (it wasn't a feature I noticed was always there anyway.) But if I also want to reblog something at the same time that's not an option.

And then there's me. With potentially lots of thoughts.

So like someone posts this:

This is an excerpt from my bass warm up routine. Unfortunately this instrument that I love so much is also probably the most underrated and undervalued instrument in modern music by both musicians and listeners. Most people can't distinguish this instrument within a song. Part of that is due to an untrained ear and part of it is due to lackluster song writing.

[there was more post and a ton of tags of different bassists and like trans tags because it was some day or other and the person posting it was a trans woman but not quoting all of it that's the gist]

And !

#this is cool #not a musician but #When I was trying to learn to play the guitar as a teen I would look up guitar tabs #and just end up playing basslines without realising because I preferred that part of the song lol #Come as You Are by Nirvana and Vivica by Jack off Jill as two examples #Also really like Geddy Lee's work #and Flea #and Justin Chancellor #The bassline in Lucretia My Reflection by The Sisters of Mercy is the best part of the song imo.

I stopped after that lol. Also I realised after reblogging the post was from 2019. Hence forum posts.







It's actually very basic but still love it lol:

[Doseone]

Religions are most definitely false because everything happens after death. Why can't we experience something now? It's completely arbitrary.

[Otherside]

I never have a problem on any of these sites technically speaking I guess because I don't use apps lol. We'll see when I start using my phone to browse sites. It's really just the culture that varies (and twitter is definitely the worst. Tumblr is probably the least intimidating if you want to post about weird stuff.)

It's weird though because I go through phases with sites. I used to use reddit a lot more then stopped for a long while and had only recently started using it a bit more often again. I'm also using tumblr more again though.

I use the official reddit site or browser. No idea what they're on about there.

Reddit is good for niche interest subs. Not on any of the mains. Tumblr had a few back in the day. If you look for them, still has the special interest communities. Better moderated these days anyway.

Twitter is...never managed to get into it.

[Nyctophilia]

I have to admit, I do indeed chuckle when I see a blue haired she twink throws a fit over the Confederate flag. We're not so different.

These descriptions people are going with for the 'sjw archetype' are getting more and more bizarre and paradoxically more flattering since twinks are conventionally attractive.

It seems like something you'd say to insult a certain kind of straight guy, I dunno that the target would care much lol.

[Nyctophilia]

My dad has some crazy stories. He was talking about some time he woke up after drinking a lot in a graveyard in some village. He couldn't remember where he was and heard this groaning sound like zombies. I think he was with my uncle (mum's brother.) Then they went to my uncle's then-girlfriend's house there because she took the keys to their motorbikes so they couldn't get home but she'd already gone to work lol so they went next door and they knew the girl who lived there too I think. She lived with her mum who was blind and then she just insisted on making them breakfast.

Before that I was talking about this ruined church which is supposed to be haunted and was known for attracting gravediggers and rumours of Satanic rituals etc. At one point some teens were apparently playing with a Human skull they said they found there and when they went to look they noticed a bunch of other bones. There were a number of animal murders too unfortunately and since the whole Satanic thing became sensationalised one guy from a local college admitted to carrying out one of those as 'a joke that doesn't seem that funny now.' I was interested in going there (just never have,) and he was like 'yeah I've heard a lot about that place. Crashed there' so I thought he meant passed out or something but he crashed his motorbike there on the hill. Apparently there's a hill but didn't really get that impression from photos. They are pretty risky though. He crashed several times and has a scar on his leg. Someone my aunt used to live with died in a motorbike crash. My brother couldn't remember his name and was surprised I remembered it but his name was Lightning so I'm surprised he didn't. I assume not his actual name.

He stopped riding bikes before I was born. I always liked playing motorbike games in arcades and in video games (one of my favourite video game vehicles.) His old bike was in the garden when I was growing up and I used to sit on it and pretend to ride sometimes too lol.

He was also talking about my mum's other brother who apparently came round to do some laundry one time and they came back to find like his laundry was there in the machine and he'd just gone and then it turned out he just went on a really long walk impulsively and disappeared lol (I don't mean like he went on a walk for several hours I mean he just started travelling somewhere or something.) Uh, he has similar issues to me and my brother I guess. Like he's spent parts of his life living as a hermit/very anxious and often doesn't see family often. I think at one point he had a van and drove around music festivals and stuff for a while.

Actually both of my parents have a bunch of crazy stories from before I was born. My mum was once walking with a group of guides or something through an underpass and some guy flashed them so she put out her cigarette on his dick. Then one time my parents were drinking with some guy (I forget who,) and my uncle (same one of my mum's brothers again.) And this guy fell asleep in the back of their car and my uncle decided to randomly drive all the way to the coast (maybe Brighton?) and then put him next to the sea so he just woke up there. Not sure how he didn't wake up before that point at all lol but yeah...

[Doseone]

People take consciousness for granted. Think about it. You're aware of a world and thoughts. How crazy is that?

[Heelsbythebridge]

I ate 4 meals today

[Nyctophilia]

I'm thinking about this post I saw recently on Tumblr where someone said 'I want to destroy them' about someone they find attractive and I found that interesting. Mostly because it was probably a woman and they were talking about a guy. Someone else said they wanted to bite him (which as I mentioned before in a probably deleted post is a reaction I've had to someone I found attractive before, think it's related to 'cute aggression') this is potentially different though but maybe not. I considered it's the kind of thing certain kinds of men would say about women (and that they would find very off putting if directed at them.) I tried to go back and find the post but couldn't and got bored/distracted hence this post which is mostly about another post I found (for the second time. Also actually I think after quoting a bunch of stuff it's more like 50/50. I don't even know now lol I edited this post so many times.) But while on the topic I was reading this interview/about the film Antichrist again recently:

Here is a film that explicitly confronts the director's intertwined fears of primal nature and female sexuality.

LVT = Lars Von Trier. Not sure about VS and cba going back to check now. I don't think it's very important right now lol no offence to VS.

VS: Do you feel he brings about his wife's violent reaction? Is he partly responsible for what happens at the end?

LVT: Oh yes. One of the things that got me thinking during therapy is that they say that fear is only thoughts, and nothing will happen because thoughts will never be real. And my thesis, or joke, in this film, is that they really do become real.

VS: You said in a previous interview that 'female sexuality is frightening'. Is that the kind of fear that you personally confronted through the film?

LVT:Yeah, but if it was only that, I think I could cope (laughs). I think it's more complicated. Basically you're afraid of chaos, and lack of control and death, that's the basis of everything.

VS: So why did you say that?

LVT: I think female sexuality is frightening even to the female.

Oh and I do think there's some destructive quality about my sexuality.

I think most people who are submissive are scared of being submissive because it requires a lot of trust. I don't think that's really gender specific either. But whether you like being submissive sexually or not most people are trying to fight against being submissive and weak in one context or another. When you do this you reveal a different kind of weakness and people find that annoying too. That's why you get things like that really long ranting essay that masculinist guy wrote about Camille Paglia that I was commenting on/quoting the other day. Because they both have a complex about being perceived as weak and submissive. Your enemy is always someone fairly similar to you but with enough differences that it falls into the pattern of 'narcissism of small differences.'

To quote the guy who really hates Paglia.

His view on male feminists:

Sorry, lady, man took care of his family because they belonged to him, they were his. And a woman in such a bygone time-period who betrays her man deserves death, nothing less. Any honest man would agree with this, if he is in fact a man, not a pussy-whipped coward who bows to feminine and feminist wiles.

His view of vore fetishism (no lol... But seriously):

Now, what is true is that women generally--not always--have no need to create something outside themselves; instead they literally work on creating themselves. As I have already imparted on my poor recently-assailed reader, to women almost all is self. The world is a fucking mirror reflecting things, and these things she collects, and her collection becomes herself. A life of mementos and souvenirs, things that become her. She is certainly herself, but there is no solid enough boundary to prevent you from being part of herself. It doesn't matter if you're around even, she may have you through some remembrance of your presence. One can consider such primitive feminine practices as voodoo and its related religious practices, the magical practices of witches even, at least to some degree -- what is constant in these practices? The ownership or control of the other as if he or she were a thing.

On suffocating men:

Paglia describes Victorian portraits. She says these women look like they are about to suffocate man. A praying mantis, no less. This is fantasy mere. Her grand phantasy

More defensiveness lol:

No. But, "Man's sexuality is so frail." How? "The penis, how frail, how unpredictable." And therefore mysterious, stupid (395). 'Unpredictable? in place of 'mysterious' to bolster her false claim. Yet, she never says how man?s sexuality is frail. And to you, Camille, male sexuality is a complete mystery. Male sexuality tends to be vigorous, forceful, even violent, if not dangerous. When a man fucks you, dear Camille, expect no mercy.

I can't tell if this is jealousy/envy or not but his brain went there:

But it gets weirder. She believes in polygamy. Why? Perhaps she?d marry a man to get her tongue on his wives, to make harvest of his harem.

A strange generalisation as I'm non-binary and I often feel more female identified when I'm in a sadistic headspace but sometimes more androgynous too. Never mostly/exclusively male:

Unfortunately you underestimate the sadistic mind though, for violence, and causing the suffering of others can be very sexual for such a man. So you are not quite half-right (284). If you ask why I would know, I?ll simply say it is an act of extrapolation; I, for one, enjoy observing a woman in tears; call it sadism if you will; I?ll call it manhood.

...:

Streep nails the sexy [BEEP] type nevertheless, and someone like myself would like to [BEEP] such a d*** out of spite, something I'm sure Camille would appreciate.

I think there was quite a bit of projection in that essay:

As a final side note, to add dirt to Camille's wounds, to add disgrace to defeat, women make the perfect patriots; because they only respond with care and concern to what is their own; they feel little sympathy for foreigners.

Of course men make the perfect patriots. Not all men a specific subset of very tribal/territorial men. Women (in general) as Virginia Woolf would say 'have no country.' But if you want to redefine patriot to mean 'tribal' or 'in group bias' sure there are examples of that. Women have a greater ingroup bias for their own gender more men favour women over men than the reverse.

I think you'd struggle to get many women who would be willing to die (or kill) for a country too. Especially these days. How aligned with said country are they in most cases? If they absolutely had to maybe but they're not going to be easily convinced to kill in random wars because 'GO TEAM USA/UK' lol. There are certainly some because there were crossdressers who snuck into armies throughout history, but even today I'm not sure the primary motivation is patriotism often. Maybe they're trying to prove something to themselves. A kpop band or Charles Manson though maybe. Or for an ideology. So if a leader of a country builds a strong enough cult of personality around him it's theoretically possible, but women are the ones who are predominantly bailing out of North Korea right now despite the fact emigration generally favours males, and at great risk to themselves too. They're also not overly sold on the various modern 'strong men.' The appeal of those guys is still mostly for men.

"He represented a God to me that was so beautiful that I'd do anything for him
I'd do anything for God
Even murder, if I believed it was right
How could it not be right if it is done with love?
I have no remorse for doing what was right to me
I have no guilt in me."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTu3Zk9Q_Rs

(song about Susan Atkins.)

https://newrepublic.com/article/147871/bhagwans-sexism

Rajneesh's dirty work was usually left to women.

In summer 1986, Sheela, Puja, and Shanti Bhadra pleaded guilty in federal and state courts to a number of charges, including attempted murder, and were sentenced to jail.

These particular personalities usually don't get national power as they don't offer power (or the illusion of power,) to men, and when they do they don't seem to appeal to women as much as men. I think because it doesn't offer power to women. And I think putting aside all the crazy [BEEP] that happens in cults they usually invert the gender power dynamic of the nation state and that holds a lot of appeal to women. So women in cults more frequently sacrifice themselves. This doesn't happen in nation states generally.

This, I think, is why Camille never mentions Cindy Lauper; because, actually, not just in song, girls just want to have fun

Girls don't just want to have fun:



And sometimes apparently it's no fun to have no power:

"Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money system, institute complete automation and destroy the male sex."

On the strength of Sheela's tape recordings, authorities later said they believed that there had been a plan that sannyasin women and children would have been asked to create a human shield if authorities tried to arrest Rajneesh at the commune.

https://www.damemagazine.com/2021/07...ible-to-cults/

Typically an older man presides at the top, and is perceived as all-powerful. Below him are a tier of fair-skinned young women who exchange their sexuality and whiteness for the illusion of having slightly more authority. At the bottom lies everyone else. This is also the structure of most major corporations, mainstream churches, and patriarchy in general.

Now, let's scrutinize the gender, race, and power dynamics of Jonestown more closely: While the overall population of the settlement was about three-quarters Black, Jones's inner circle was almost entirely composed of young white women.

And you know as I said before if you're very antisocial and might otherwise join a mafia (but can't due to gender rules) there's that appeal too.

If you look at related groups with less insane outcomes like the Society of Universal Friends women are once again given more power.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_Universal_Friend

The Friend's theology was broadly similar to that of most Quakers. The Friend stressed free will, opposed slavery, and supported sexual abstinence. The most committed members of the Society of Universal Friends were a group of unmarried women who took leading roles in their households and community. In the 1790s, members of the Society acquired land in Western New York where they formed the town of Jerusalem near Penn Yan, New York. The Society of Universal Friends ceased to exist by the 1860s. Many writers have portrayed the Friend as a woman, and either a manipulative fraudster, or a pioneer for women's rights; others have viewed the Friend as transgender or non-binary and a figure in trans history.

^ that's actually a pretty good run I'd say. (Quakers are actually peculiar in general I think. But I haven't looked into it fully yet. I've just noticed something from a few anecdotes.)

I suppose Ezra Miller was trying to unsuccessfully recreate that hahah. 'I'll just be famous, mentally unwell, and androgynous that's all you need.' No my child.

He did manage to draw in one 12 year old who was heavily involved in activism from age 9. An absolutely insane backstory and she then wanted a bigger hit I imagine 'spider goddess who will save everyone and bring about the apocalypse' should do it lol.

Iron Eyes became involved in activism at age 9, when she testified against a uranium mine in the Black Hills.[5] At age 12, she spoke in a viral video advocating for action against the Dakota Access Pipeline, which later sparked the social media campaign, "Rezpect Our Water."[5][9] Iron Eyes invited Thunberg to Iron Eyes' homelands, and the two held multiple rallies together in North Dakota and South Dakota throughout October 2019. The pair spoke at multiple locations including at Red Cloud Indian School, the Youth Climate Activism Panel in Rapid City, South Dakota, and at Standing Rock High School in Fort Yates, North Dakota.[2][10] Iron Eyes also served on the board of a new sustainable energy group called Indigenized Energy.[2]

Miller claimed to be Jesus, the devil, and the next Messiah while Iron Eyes believed herself to be a Native American spider goddess. The article also claimed that Miller and Iron Eyes believe their relationship will bring about a Native American revolution followed by the apocalypse.[20]

Ftr Christianity I'm sure started in a similar way. As an outlier belief system involving an apocalyptic final scene, that wasn't accepted by the majority of the culture and attracted a mostly female audience because it gave them more power than the alternatives at the time. Most religions probably start that way but you get lots of failures along the way and we call the failures 'cults.' I don't think Christianity offers women enough power for most white women to be drawn to it today but it had a pretty good run.

Ofherbsandalters has some interesting videos on the goth subculture that go into its relationship with power (not at all the focus/point of the video it's just revealed through it,) after Columbine but it's ironic because the killers hated goth music and even Marilyn Manson's music wasn't to their liking lol:





Ftr being referred to as a devil worshipper etc based on my clothing annoyed me when I was younger (and yeah being accused of things like that was still happening in the early-mid 2000s in my school even post 9/11 and there were very few alternative kids around.) As a child I was actually kind of Christian (though I wasn't really raised that way, my dad refused to have me or my brother christened) and remember crying once round my grandma's because I wasn't so Jesus wouldn't love me hahaha (my mum's family were catholic.) I sort of grew out of that in early puberty though. Things like people joking I was going to kill people even as late as uni and this one guy I hung out with who read tarot cards saying I was going to destroy everyone felt kind of bad. Moreso being gaslit by my bully into believing I was bullying her. None of these things felt powerful and I felt weak for not properly defending myself against my primary bully too.

I ultimately only started to find the Satan [BEEP] entertaining online well into adulthood. I think part of the reason why it's entertaining now is because of the cultural infantalisation of trans men and women (trans men especially,) that is prevalent now. I think it probably reminds me of my relationship with my abuser too because she infantilised me while demonising me simultaneously. I think this black/white thing is how people who are grouped into 'the other' category are viewed (I was trying to find a more accurate/inclusive way of putting it because I realised woman doesn't work. Even those YouTube videos I posted were created by a feminine trans guy, and racial minorities are also treated in this dichotomous way often as are neurodivergent people.) But the ratio of demonisation to infantalisation varies depending on the group, individual and circumstances.

Obviously Umberto Eco in 'A Practical List for Identifying Fascists' is referring to something similar here (but I don't think it's specific to that ideology at all) I think it's probably just how people treat outsiders:

https://www.faena.com/aleph/umberto-...fying-fascists

The enemy is both weak and strong. "[?] the followers must be convinced that they can overwhelm the enemies. Thus, by a continuous shifting of rhetorical focus, the enemies are at the same time too strong and too weak."

This is also (while I'm here but it's a different topic,) worth noting though btw with present society:

https://theanarchistlibrary.org/libr...eco-ur-fascism

In such a perspective everybody is educated to become a hero. In every mythology the hero is an exceptional being, but in Ur-Fascist ideology, heroism is the norm. This cult of heroism is strictly linked with the cult of death. It is not by chance that a motto of the Falangists was Viva la Muerte (in English it should be translated as "Long Live Death!"). In non-fascist societies, the lay public is told that death is unpleasant but must be faced with dignity; believers are told that it is the painful way to reach a supernatural happiness. By contrast, the Ur-Fascist hero craves heroic death, advertised as the best reward for a heroic life. The Ur-Fascist hero is impatient to die. In his impatience, he more frequently sends other people to death.

Irrationalism also depends on the cult of action for action?s sake. Action being beautiful in itself, it must be taken before, or without, any previous reflection. Thinking is a form of emasculation. Therefore culture is suspect insofar as it is identified with critical attitudes. Distrust of the intellectual world has always been a symptom of Ur-Fascism, from Goering?s alleged statement ("When I hear talk of culture I reach for my gun?) to the frequent use of such expressions as "degenerate intellectuals," "eggheads," "effete snobs," "universities are a nest of reds." The official Fascist intellectuals were mainly engaged in attacking modern culture and the liberal intelligentsia for having betrayed traditional values.

That's also why this video made me uncomfortable I think that I watched/posted about days ago (I didn't have these points specifically in memory at the time though):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-6-aEzbJ0Y

At best it's a bit irritating. It's this vagueness where there's this feverish desire to 'save the world' which is emphasised at the end of a video that's sort of about something else. Seems like some kind of a call to action without clear specifics (part of that might be poor editing of that Leftist Cook's video into his video though since I've not watched their content.) Alongside criticism of video essays from the leftist cook youtuber because it's not action hmm OK.

"unless we make our art, and our art as lives, and our lives as art, into something collective and of utility and aggressively designed to change the world and make it better than we run the risk, I'm afraid, of just making crap video essays. And you can tell me that's all we're doing, you can say it in the comments below, I don't give a flying [BEEP] but I hope you can at least see from this that we don't WANT to just make video essays. The idea is to prevent suicides, to prevent genocides, I actually want to save the world! Do you want to save the world? Can we admit that to each other. Do you want to save the world?"

"I want to save the world. Do you want to save the world?"

Brings up how he wants to die - clearly on his mind - but then that's more of a Human problem I think associated with the fact we're all in the process of dying constantly.

And I'm seeing this a lot in all directions across diverse regions of politics. Though the details differ. You can also see how they're responding to someone hypothetically because everyone is shamed for thinking. I guess we're all in a very strange time in our lives.



And restless.

I think this is why Alan Moore distanced himself from his comic book work too.

Of course this bizarre theory below argues this is cyclical:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straus...ational_theory

The authors say the previous Fourth Turning in the US began with the Wall Street Crash of 1929 and climaxed with the end of World War II. The G.I. Generation (which they call a Hero archetype, born 1901 to 1924) came of age during this era. They say their confidence, optimism, and collective outlook epitomized the mood of that era.[40] The authors assert the Millennial Generation (which they also describe as a Hero archetype, born 1982 to 2004) shows many similar traits to those of the G.I. youth, which they describe as including rising civic engagement, improving behavior, and collective confidence.[41]

I don't think we can/should keep doing this necessarily for the sake of it.

I haven't read this book but it probably addresses this dichotomy somewhat too:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Madwoman_in_the_Attic

In the work, Gilbert and Gubar examine the notion that women writers of the nineteenth century were confined in their writing to make their female characters either embody the "angel" or the "monster", a struggle which they argue stemmed from male writers' tendencies to categorize female characters as either pure, angelic women or rebellious, unkempt madwomen. In their argument Gilbert and Gubar point to Virginia Woolf, who says women writers must "kill the aesthetic ideal through which they themselves have been 'killed' into art"

I bring the 'projection' thing up though (I had more thoughts and edited them in lol, this took a dark turn so back to horror fiction) because horror fiction written by men also seems to be largely a male projection onto the female horror characters. I skim-read a book a few years ago actually that I think was making a case for that - "Our Ladies of Darkness: Feminine Daemonology in Male Gothic Fiction" by Joseph Andriano. Lol I forgot he actually mentions Paglia in this one quote. God she's fucking everywhere.

To become more androgynous is not necessarily to become a transvestite priest of the Great Goddess; androgyny need not be the abject submission to the Chthonian so brilliantly described by Camille Paglia in her recent book. It is rather a matter of precarious balance, a surfacing of what was once submerged, a conscious attempt to place masculinity and femininity into a dialectic rather than a hierarchic dualism.

Every man who is able will find his own way to integrate the feminine; others will remain polarized. One hopes that as society becomes more androgynous (giving up the whole idea that there are proper spheres for each sex), these "manly" men will have less political power. But to the man who fears that he will be "feminized," the drive toward androgyny appears as a terrifying embodiment of the female Other because he cannot accept her for what she is --- the deepest part of his own soul, or anima.

I think people are also scared of the destructive quality of their sexuality often (and again that's also not gender specific.)

So yeah the next thing (the post quality is going to go way down after this point haha, I wrote this next part first) already posted about this before a while ago but just noticed those tags in the second quote.

Going on Pinterest and finding Rush memes obviously made by men in their 50s is so great bc they?ll be like

"This is REAL MUSIC made by REAL MEN in the time when MEN were MEN" over an image like this

#they're not wrong though lol #bring back real men

Lol I was joking about that before. 'Yeah bring back really long hair right guys?' I don't think it's what Ben Shapiro etc had in mind but they should have thought about that before they began.

I'm dedicated now.

Ben Shapiro: 'Bring back manly men'

So true king. This outfit specifically:



This is actually back in fashion atm kind of I think (crop tops for guys it's more basic though):



I say it's back in fashion because I once saw a photo a non-binary person (Jay from Crywank) posted on twitter in 2017 or something wearing a crop top and someone else I just remembered also non-binary I believe, and I feel like guys on tiktok which I don't even use. I just imagine a sea of crop tops there. With that one gen z hairstyle (if you know, you know. OK it's just like Danny Phantom EXE's hair. Someone I stumbled on on YouTube a couple of years ago. Or This person who is a non-binary lesbian and the partner of someone I watch on YouTube's hair.) and knife or lightning bolt dangle earrings. So in other words alt non-binary lesbians (even when they're not.) And yes I hate dangle/long/whatever they're called earrings from a practical perspective, but at some point I'm definitely going to end up buying a pair with swords on even though I'm 32 because it's fucking swords. I'm probably going to buy several pairs of sword earrings at some point from Etsy or wherever (studs too.) I've been thinking about this for some time now. Actually I most likely won't because I can never be bothered actually buying stuff haha (and it costs money,) but I want some sword earrings.

Danny Phantom. EXE is actually not my type because of his energy. Like the song you know:

I started writing this song as comedomusicological exercise in attacking one specific individual for Your Entertainment. But the more I wrote, the more I started to feel like a voyeur, contorting that stranger into a reductive stereotype of my own creation. This song is about that.

How could I be The Bad Guy? My trousers are tight
Yes I'm a walking red flag, but I'm wearing a Pride one
But if someone implies that I'm gay I will fight them, right now
I must be one of the good ones

Putting on a dress that's so freaking brave of ya
OMG obsessed with that cute behaviour
Never had to stress it might lead to danger yeah
You are the saviour, you are the saviour
(He must be one of good ones)

Do the right thing, admit that you're faking it
Fucking little [BEEP] go fix your behaviour
Yes we know best so fit to the label
Fit to the label
Fit to the label
(We must be some of the good ones)

This is all an elaborate/symbolic way of trying to figure out whether the dynamics will work lol.

And at any rate age gap relationships between two adults will soon be illegal anyway. But I do like crop tops.

Oh but yeah they (the twitter conservatives,) were complaining about what is her name. I've actually forgotten her name lol. Megan Fox right my brain wanted to say Kate Moss for some reason but I knew it wasn't her. So yeah they were complaining about her kids (I spoke about that before too,) because they all look like girls but only one was dressed femininely with a t-shirt talking about girls, and the other two were just wearing conventional boys clothes with long hair. Then the responses were all like:

'I will be raising my kids like men.'

So they don't seem thrilled by long hair specifically (as it was the only thing that different from social norms with two of them though it's possible they just really wanted to make a political point and over focussed on her one kid who was feminine.) I just noticed Ben Shapiro also tweeted about that lol:

The genetic bottleneck in Hollywood is one of the great mysteries of evolutionary biology. Or it's a social contagion fostered by f***ed up parents. One of the two.

oh my they have long hair. We should cancel them and everyone with long hair just to be safe. I'm so angry

This isn't kind but I don't know what Ben Shapiro does or thinks beyond political commentary and judgment. He has no interesting thoughts either. Like I don't agree with Jordan Peterson but he has had interesting thoughts. But I know his wife is a doctor. So I wonder to what extent he's motivated by envy.

A lot of them are Christian, Jewish etc. Ignore certain cultural/historical moments. But I already posted about this days ago in another post lol.... Because I stumbled on that Regina Spektor song about the bible story again (though it's really about someone with cancer I believe.)

The Talmud says that Delilah used sex to get Samson to reveal his secret, in spite of the fact that the biblical text does not state that the two had a sexual relationship,[6] while midrash state that Delilah harassed Samson verbally and physically during sex to get him to tell her the source of his strength.[10] Midrashim on Delilah reveal negative attitudes toward non-Jewish women[10] and are supposed to "demonstrate the havoc that a foreign woman could wreak".[10] The midrash says that Samson lost his strength because of his relationship with Delilah, a foreign woman, and not because his hair was cut,[10]

I think people say it was mostly a warning against relationships with foreign women but like Ben Shapiro et al ignoring 2/3 metal head children over 1 feminine, that doesn't interest me. So I'm focussing on the hair.

Samson is betrayed by his lover Delilah, who, sent by the Philistines officials to entice him,[5] orders a servant to cut his hair while he is sleeping and turns him over to his Philistine enemies, who gouge out his eyes and force him to grind grain in a mill at Gaza. While there, his hair begins to grow again. When the Philistines take Samson into their temple of Dagon, Samson asks to rest against one of the support pillars. After being granted permission, he prays to God and miraculously recovers his strength, allowing him to bring down the columns, collapsing the temple and killing himself as well as all of the Philistines

Because it's what they used to do to slaves. And the story is interesting/poignant to me not because of discussions/interpretations of how Delilah is a femme fatale treated misogynistically, or how Samson skirted his responsibility/destiny by pursuing women like this:

James D. G. Dunn and John William Rogerson feel that the Bible portrays Delilah as "a doubly dangerous woman given her apparent independence", noting that she is not "identified by a male relationship - the wife, daughter or sister of anyone" but simply "appears in her own right".[9] Conversely, Phillip Lopate writes "while the message of Samson's fall, like Adam's, would seem to be cautionary and misogynistic, underneath we see his time with Delilah as a liberating fantasy....Don't we secretly rejoice at his having the good sense to follow the route of his desire, to free himself from the 'good boy' Nazirite onus by putting himself in temptation's way?"

...Or even how he's this hyper masculine figure who's symbolic of a repressed [BEEP] person who eventually allows his own castration like this:

https://sfonline.barnard.edu/keeping...l-performance/

There are many sexual innuendos throughout the story, but I consider Samson's encounter with Delilah particularly interesting. For it is in this encounter that Samson's "heterosexuality" starts to implode and, to use a phrase by Teresa Hornsby and Ken Stone, 3 finally dissolves back into queerness. As Delilah has a name and a voice, she is more powerful than the two women Samson has previously shown interest in. Her aim is to weaken Samson's strength and then hand him over to the Philistine men, who want to put an end to the destruction and death Samson spreads in Philistia. Although there are several indications that Samson is aware of Delilah's intentions, it doesn?t keep him from playing with her. As she asks ritual questions, binds him several times and finally shaves his hair, the scene has several characteristics of a bondage game. While "natural" sexuality centers around male genital penetration of a woman--which is what Samson had so far shown interest in--BDSM is a [BEEP] practice because it involves the eroticization of other body parts than the genitals and because the power dynamics are more ironic and less stereotypically gendered. After Samson has provided (partly false, partly true) answers to Delilah's repeated question, he finally confesses that if his hair is cut, he will lose his strength--and that?s what happens. As he had turned his long hair from a sign of his Naziriteship into a phallic symbol, the cutting of his hair symbolizes his castration. The reason why Samson plays this bondage game with Delilah and why he finally reveals his secret, is that this mysterious and powerful woman has made him unable or unwilling to continue keeping up his "heterosexual" appearance.

One of the aims of my article is to show the value of focusing on the construction of Samson's masculinity. This fits in a recent growing interest in the study of masculinities among Biblical scholars in general. 4 A few decades ago, feminist scholars such as Mieke Bal 5 and Cheryl Exum 6 have argued that the female characters in the Samson narrative are victims of male violence (by Samson, other Israelite men and the Philistine men) and that they have been negatively depicted by the narrator and negatively evaluated by many interpreters (esp. Delilah as a femme fatale). I agree with most of this, but the problem is that they hardly pay any attention to Samson, the construction of his masculinity, and the numerous men he slaughters. I have argued that Samson?s sexual ?interest? in women and his violence against men are interrelated as being two operations of his libido dominandi.

But because she abused his trust and vulnerability by selling him out to his enemies. Sort of like the story of Jesus.

The bible is so inconsistent about long hair though:

Why did Samson have long hair if the Bible says it is shameful for a man to have long hair?

1 Corinthians 11:14 Does not even nature teach you that it is a shame for a man to have long hair?

Well nature is also the biggest mass murderer since time began, so I have some critiques. Notes if you will.

I don't think Jesus actually had long hair and I've noticed people tend to draw him a lot like that one gay icon saint (Saint Sebastian.) I'm starting to doubt the veracity of these 'twinkish' depictions from ancient Tumblrites:



The part where she has to explain how the guys on the Supernatural show are 'not Tumblr sexymen' still cracks me up. Just imagine your average person outside this bubble encountering this.'They're not tumblr sexymen.' This whole video is hilarious actually. I actually thought Mettaton was the more attractive Undertale character (as opposed to Sans mentioned in this video.) Also this 'culture' definitely predates tumblr to livejournal and deviantart. She does mention livejournal when bringing up Snape and it predates that too like fanzines and stuff before the internet when a bunch of people were into Spock and then you can go back as far as you like really. Like to Jesus I suppose hahaha but that was mostly male artists.

'There's no one more thin and vulnerable than Jesus Christ. And he's bleeding too that's very clever of them' - Simon Amstell, Do Nothing.

Why has no one clipped that lol in all this time (maybe a copyright thing I guess? All the clips from it seem to be really short.):



I watched this many times because it's somewhat disturbing how relatable I find this (and also that doesn't happen often.)



but fan artists always do this with the person/son of God they're painting/drawing/photoshopping. It's a rule of the universe.

Here's the thing though.

The other day:

*guy walks down the street with long hair. Average appearance, average clothing. Not attracted because facial hair etc. Pure aesthetic appreciation.*

Me: Cool. Wow. Much hair.

brother: Yeah he looks like he's in a loreal ad. I've seen him before.

me: You have?

brother: yeah he stands out around here.

I still can't decide which version of this song I prefer. It's hard choosing:



^ The bass though obviously. 👌 #bassrights but then I grew up with the Counting Crows recording and it has sentimental value. My dad listened to this album a lot when I was a kid. For a long while it was just 'the song with the ghost walking out the door' or something to me haha. Also the mood/tone of these two versions are very different.



You don't have songs pop into your head constantly when people talk? I'm just insane?

I thought this was funny when he says I've got a confession to make in this video:



Because he's brought up Foo Fighters a few times in interviews as an example of a boring rock band and why rock is dead LOL. Doesn't seem to be a fan. But:



Well to be fair I think he's said Foo Fighters are/were the peak of modern rock music (perhaps over the past couple of decades.) He just doesn't consider it an interesting peak. I assume he means commercially honestly too because although I like some of their tracks there are bands who interest me more. Even then I mostly feel like he missed a lot and there are more interesting bands.

But then he can't be including the early/mid 2000s because I know he's heard of Tool. I'm pretty sure he brought them up and their never ending hiatus at a concert I went to once lol and obviously Tool are great, though I guess they're also alt/prog metal.

Lol that was not what I was looking for lmfao:



^ that audio with the distressed person calling is very interesting actually. Tool used it on their album Lateralus:





And the alien thing is interesting to me not because 'aliens are real' or the various conspiracy theories that are actually often weaponised against me are real but because it's the best example of modern folklore/culture being created imo. So you can see how the 'old gods' interact with modern technology and he modern environment. There are still unexplained things, so the ability to imagine hasn't been killed entirely yet. Which is reassuring to me because I find that potential boring.

The (slightly) less cynical 'American Gods' haha.

[Doseone]

Cool. Black Mirror is up.

[Nyctophilia]

Oh that's so weird lol.



My friend was talking about AI generated TV shows people have uploaded to YouTube so I searched and found this weird thing:



Think it has a way to go lol. Reminds me of Surreal entertainment's videos.





This is horrifying:



lol more context this is so weird:



It's like a video game and the audio just makes no sense.

[Nyctophilia]

I like how this seems to be a screenshot of a tweet responding to a screenshot of a tumblr post talking about reddit that was posted on tumblr (where I found it.)

Also guess shipping fanart is prob less of a thing on reddit.

Lol I see others noticed that too:

This is a tumblr post about a screenshot about a tweet about a screenshot about a tumblr user talking about their migration from reddit and i think that's beautiful

@bismuth-soup yeah, a tumblr post, turned into tweet, screenshotted back into Tumblr. Can't wait to see this show up in Reddit

Lol I probably should have screenshotted the tumblr post too for this forum. Oh well too lazy.

and yeah they could have just reblogged the original tumblr post on tumblr haha.

I've loved bismuth from the moment I first saw it in the Natural History Museum. I'm lowkey annoyed I didn't come up with that tumblr username.

No other metal is verified to be more naturally diamagnetic than bismuth.[17][20] (Superdiamagnetism is a different physical phenomenon.)

🙏

[Heelsbythebridge]

Having wide feet sucks. Most footwear will have sizes to accommodate long feet, but people like me who have wide ones don't have many options.

[Doseone]

Funko Pops are so ugly. I don't know how they're so popular.

[Nyctophilia]

Funko Pops are so ugly. I don't know how they're so popular.

Exactly! I've been thinking this for a while. I guess people just really like collecting stuff.