Random Thought of the Day

[Nyctophilia]

It's weird how I can just be attracted to people's voices. I do mean just voice too. Sometimes I can be attracted to people and their voices (that's common because I like voices lol,) but I can also just be attracted to their voice. Like there's this woman and I have no idea what she looks like and if I did I probably wouldn't be attracted to her or as attracted I'm not sure. I mean I don't tend to be attracted to women as much (that's complicated though. I'm aroused by women just not emotionally attracted usually. I think lady Gaga has a similar thing.) I have this vague kind of blurry outline of a woman that's not very distinct in my mind when I listen.

And this is tmi but she makes audio porn. I recently went back to that since I now have a new phone I can listen to stuff on but I just went immediately back to her audios because I like her voice and I'm too lazy to look for new stuff now (same with most mediums.) She also has a bunch of new stuff uploaded after the past few years. I wonder if I'd still be into her though if it wasn't for that context and what she's doing with her voice though. But it is a more appealing voice than others I listened to which is why I prefer her voice lol. A lot of it isn't even stuff I'm into in general and probably wouldn't listen to if it wasn't her lol tbh. She also has stuff from various points of view genderwise which is nice. I like some of her f/f stuff a lot too.

Another reason I like it is I have more of an emotional connection. Usually with stuff that's visual etc I'm just like aroused and it's lacking in emotional quality. And I suppose that's fine in certain contexts/moods. Really hard to try and be vague here lol... But I guess I also don't like most things in some sense because it makes me feel empty so I try to find ways to integrate the emotional feelings with being aroused. I mean it's the same with certain written stuff it can be completely lacking in the emotional sense (and that works better sexually in some ways but then I want to combine the two.) I find certain guys really attractive but my brain often separates romantic attraction from sexual which is annoying. I don't think that's the right way of putting it though it's not that it removes the sexual component per se it's just difficult to uh... Find ways to do certain activities with that alone.

One thing that often comes up is I have a lot of shame/disgust with myself. That varies but yeah it's sort of there and an issue.

I was also looking at gifs of Geddy Lee though at the same time while listening (well three gifs in particular,) which is so..... What's the word. It's all disconnected. Fragmented maybe.

It's like this video lol at 1:39 into the video:



'build your perfect person.' Only it's not like I was connecting the pieces exactly either and I wasn't really picturing him per se. I just sort of wanted to look at gifs of him lol? Like multitasking. I don't know though I think he was sort of merged with her loosely at the same time as not being merged. So weird.

It's like that video I watched recently where Jordan Peterson was interviewing that detransistioner and during part of the interview she talked about her sexual preferences and how she wanted a relationship with a guy but she was always viewing 'stuff' with women. To quote:

Jordan Peterson: "Was their something in your fantasies about... What was that? Was that about you being a boy? You said you were still attracted to women. So what... We brought this up we might as well clarify it. What was the nature of the interaction with sexuality. I mean it's obviously relevant." (at this point he has this expression like he didn't really want to talk about it but has accepted that he kind of has to lol.)

Detransisioner: "It was fantasies about like being a man, about being male and having like masculine attributes to my body and also a lot of it did also involve having a female partner which I never really explored in real life because I didn't have any emotional attraction to women. I didn't want to have like relationships with another woman so I never really cared to act it out."

[..]

Detransistioner: "Obviously because I was taking androgens I also started experiencing a very strong increase in my libido and it was very difficult to keep up with and it started to become a problem for me without me even realising it. I did unfortunately develop an addiction to porn. And I also just had a very unhealthy relationship with my body and sexuality and I still do to this day."

Jordan Peterson: "So on the porn front was that female images or male? Sorry to delve into this but-"

Detransistioner: "Mostly female yeah. Mostly female."

Jordan Peterson: "OK so it was mostly female, but you had no interest in establishing a relationship with females and on the dating front you still wanted to - at least in principle you still wanted to be with boys. Jesus that's quite a confusing mess to walk through. Yeah no kidding. You must have really been going in 5 directions at once during that period boy."

Yeah well that's nothing lol. My brain has developed all kind of weird adaptations for this conundrum. And still I couldn't enjoy sexual stuff with guys irl.

Jordan Peterson: "There's no clear pathway forward through that. How in the world did you orient yourself?"

😂 Thanks for the optimism.

Detransistioner: "You know I really couldn't because I didn't really have any dating opportunities and I just couldn't really explore that kind of thing. This did become a bit of a source of distress for me in high school. You know I was frustrated, I had urges I couldn't really fulfil and on top of that I was watching all my other peers get into romantic and sexual relationships and had that kind of development while I was just at least I felt I was just completely behind."

It doesn't help much ime. As I've said. I mean the more people you try things with probably the better but due to my mental health issues/lifestyle etc dating and relationships became impossible anyway for me over time. And I never had crushes on women irl unless you count that weird ambiguous thing in school with that one girl. But it wasn't working with guys anyway.

Also she said at one point she had autoandrophilia and he just immediately tried to talk her down from that position like 'well it's really non sexual' and he pointed out how she'd said earlier that she wanted certain masculine attributes and then launched into his weird theory of how autogynephilia (which he used as a comparison,) is just pushing people to 'expand their personality to be more feminine and integrate those traits into their personality' or something but then instead of doing that they act out being a woman and it becomes sexualised (he's brought this up a few times I noticed.) He'll bring it up when he's less emotional when he gets really angry he's basically like 'they're just perverts with a fetish' (about certain trans women.)

And this is such a puritan worldview/lens. It's irritating to me because there's this constant need in Anglosphere cultures to desexualise things because sexuality is seen as bad. So it's almost like he's trying to reassure her 'no well it's not really sexual at it's core.' Then, if you want to insult someone, you just call them a fetishist (reduce them to sexuality and an abnormal one on top of that.) I'm sure this is part of why I'm uncomfortable with purely sexual stuff in my own sexuality even because it's impossible to escape this worldview.

It's like 'porn addiction' people just use that for when they have some weird sexual interest or whatever and because they're distressed with their own sexuality. But unless you're like watching porn constantly and have withdrawal when you don't, I don't think that's really the same thing. I get really apathetic about it and get a lower sex drive when my mental health is worse or just a certain period of life (cause it varies.) When I was struggling more with generalised anxiety and panic attacks in 2022 I just basically lost interest for most of that time.

Also there's an argument to be made that behavioural addiction isn't really an addiction in the first place like it's not the right word. Addiction is a chemical thing where you go on certain drugs and you actually get really sick when you try to quit. Not just a bad habit because your life is in general [BEEP] and the life being shit, or other mental health issues, is the underlying problem. In search of a coping mechanism.

I mean you could argue I have a music addiction and that would fit a lot more than porn for me lol. But few people would make that case because music isn't seen as controversial or bad culturally. Uh I don't think Jordan - music is a transcendental religious experience - Peterson will be making that case anytime soon lol. I wanted to find the other clip where he talks about this but I can't.

Edit: And some people view sex as a transcendental experience. I don't personally for a myriad of reasons - some of course cultural - But I think that seems pretty great (Jordan Peterson would disagree.) Actually I just remembered I was reading an interview with Drab Majesty where they talked about that a while ago. And one of them made the point that they believed they'd still be enjoying music at 80 but not sex.

If you had to choose between music and sex, what would you choose?

Deb Demure:

I'd probably choose sex. Because this human interaction does not have that level of a human bond. Do you mean play music or listen to music?

Both.

Deb Demure:
What no music at all? Oh, I'd choose music.

Mona D:
As much as everyone loves sex, it wanes over time and the body degrades. Music will always be able to transport you to a higher dimension of mind. You get that from sex, but sex can be vapid and emotionless. Sort of routine. Music has it's own ever-present mystical element. Even when I'm 80, or however long I live, I think I?ll still be listening to music. I don't think I will be having sex.

I find the contrast interesting though right? The way Jordan Peterson talks about music and sex are both very similar like they're a way of orienting yourself and getting meaning and identity even - he alludes to that when he talks about music subcultures like it becomes part of their cultural identity. He also seems to view both as being somewhat religious experiences. But he thinks that it's wrong if you do that with sexuality or gender because it's some kind of Pagan/Satanic goddess thing (lmao the sentences I'm writing.):





13:44 is the beginning to the relevant part I think. He doesn't like people creating their own god but music is no? Is it because the Christian God is incompatible with sexuality? Probably.

I think the weakness of Freud is that he pronounced one motivational system superordinate - sex. And you could say with some real truth that Freud replaced the God of his ancestors Yahweh. Freud was Jewish. He replaced the God of his ancestors with sexuality and put that at the pinnacle of the Human psychological hierarchy.

And Jung who was a student of Freud's although also a student of Nietzsche's - and perhaps more deeply a student of Nietzsche's - objected to that. He did not believe that it was appropriate to make the presumption that sex ruled overall.

So we're going to talk about sex some today cause that's all over the place. Desire, estrangement from and fascination with sex today have to do with Freud?

It has to do with what Freud observed and Freud was correct in that sex is a dominating force. Nietzsche said every drive attempts to philosophise in it's spirit. Brilliant aphorism. He was really something. And when the world collapses into materialist atheism let's say it's highly likely that sex will arise as the dominant goddess? Likely goddess. It's likely on the feminine side more accurately if you think about it historically. Now did Freud bring that about? Partly because Freud made the case that there was no metaphysical reality there were biological realities and that the prime biological reality was that of sex and so he laid some of the groundwork for those metaphysical claims. But to speak in Freud's defense. Even though he believed that sex is a dominating force it isn't clear that he believed it should be.

Oh I see you're gripped so firmly by your sexuality that your sexuality now proclaims that it's you and you believe that. And you think that's you you don't think that you're worshipping a polytheistic Pagan goddess or that she's got you in her grip. You think that's you because you have an intrinsic theory of yourself and your theory of yourself is that whatever you want hedonistically in this moment rules. Everyone including you and that's right. And that everyone who opposes that is nothing by a demon essentially.

Eh why not both?

And the people who identify themselves on sexual grounds do that all the time. 'My paramount feature is who I'm sexually attracted to.' Really? That's your paramount feature is it? That's your definition of your intrinsic self? To call you primitive is an insult to primitive people.

This is again where you see the weakness in Nietzsche's argument. Well here's the values we've created. Well that's not a very good replacement for God. Our replacement for God is narcissistic radicals get to do whatever the hell they want whenever they want all the time and if you oppose it then it's prison for you.

I don't think that's a fair assessment.

But that's very interesting actually. And look at the way his body language kind of changes too. He's so defensive when he considers this Pagan goddess and if I were to psychoanalyse him I'd probably point out this dream he mentioned once:

"I dreamed I saw my maternal grandmother sitting by the bank of a swimming pool, that was also a river. In real life, she had been a victim of Alzheimer's disease, and had regressed, before her death, to a semi-conscious state. In the dream, as well, she had lost her capacity for self-control. Her genital region was exposed, dimly; it had the appearance of a thick mat of hair. She was stroking herself, absent-mindedly. She walked over to me, with a handful of pubic hair, compacted into something resembling a large artist's paint-brush. She pushed this at my face. I raised my arm, several times, to deflect her hand; finally, unwilling to hurt her, or interfere with her any farther, I let her have her way. She stroked my face with the brush, gently, and said, like a child, "isn't it soft?" I looked at her ruined face and said, "yes, Grandma, it?s soft."


And you get so much [BEEP] for focussing on sexuality. Like it shouldn't even come up. And I think it's because of that constant repression and demonisation - which has definitely been part of my cultural upbringing I've never been in an environment where people comfortably discussed sex or sexuality in real life - that I've ended up at this point now ironically.

You also see a lot of criticism on the progression over time of youth subcultures focussing more on sexuality than music. Though I'd argue that atypical gender and sexuality habits have always been a common part of these movements and groups. Like emo was associated with bisexuality and also atypical gender roles to some extent - that's been documented in research. Anecdotally too I mean Dan Howell discussed that in his coming out video. it was similar with the goth subculture as well. People complain that there used to be more music associated with youth subcultures and that 'the dyed hair crowd used to be [insert music based subculture of your choice here] when I was young.'

I mean I'm not against the idea that there should be more and decent quality music. I swing both ways haha.

And I feel like this is what IAMX is trying to explore more over his last couple of albums/videos he's making a lot of people really uncomfortable by being very messy and explicit with sexual imagery. And it's always been a big part of the music actually although you weirdly get people ignorant of that fact or denying it. A bunch of the lyrics and videos were always very sexual with references to BDSM and there are interviews with him talking about sex being a big influence on his work etc. I think it's become more aggressive and chaotic and that's the part that makes people uncomfortable and to some extent it does me too because of the model I have of the music project and of him. Because it ruins my fantasy of this kind of gentle, introspective, androgynous and ultimately somewhat submissive person but this is unfair and limiting right to him to put him in such a box. Although I think it's also because he keeps joking about starting a cult that makes me a bit lol...

And another thing is I think in his messaging etc he's specifically acknowledging the objectification and fetishisation element of his fanbase towards him which has always been a huge thing. And that makes people uncomfortable too. You're not allowed to be a voyeur right so it's very clever in that sense.

And he's alternated between this hyper sexual more aggressive imagery and a kind of romanticised mystical fantasy manic pixie dream boy thing (and a combination of the two as well,) that Patrick Wolf also does or did and that drew me to IAMX initially. This track for example was the first song I heard and it reminded me of Patrick Wolf's music:



Also Sneaker Pimps is a bit like that too (the music project he worked with before going solo.) But at this point I'm looking for an excuse to post music lol also I love how ill fitting this cover + album title appears with the theme/style of music. The contrast is just amazing:



So many good songs though. And this is really great (and different/better) live (especially the end one of the best live songs I've experienced,) but can't find decent recording:



And a lot of people end up being pigeon holed and policed because of that and I've seen that with other artists too of course. I mean Aurora obviously and the song/video people were complaining about wasn't even that sexual in her case lol. So this revealed to me she can get away with way less.

But all these things are quite interesting at this current point in time. Because artists are supposed to poke around at things that make people uncomfortable. I'm just posting a music video this isn't necessarily the best example there's one that feels a bit too graphic to post here lol from a couple of years ago. And also like just certain discussions with him and others that aren't music videos. This still got a lot of complaints in comments I noticed when it was released:



I think some people also complain about the quality of the music having gone down hill but since they can't help mention all the sexuality stuff at the same time this seems like kind of a cover and justification for their discomfort with the sexual expression of the video at least in part. Some of the comments were quite pretentious there was one like 'IAMX used to be music for musicians most people can't tell this is worse now but those with superior knowledge can tell' LOL. But I'd have to think more on it I wasn't immediately drawn in by any songs I briefly listened to that have been uploaded from the new album (the one in the music video is pretty good though,) but there was actually a part of a song uploaded in one video before it was released that I really liked and so I was kind of excited for that but for whatever reason it doesn't seem to be on the album. And I haven't bought the album but I am planning on seeing them live again at some point (and I sometimes get more interested in the music after hearing it live with some bands.) I have very mixed feelings about that. I hope it will be good though. They have been pretty good live in the past.

Lol I got way off topic again but I think it really sucks for us, because I'm sure there's something going on underneath it all that is similar to bisexuality but it's just not separated out the way it is for most people. When I looked into research on trans guys I found that most who were transitioning in the 80s and early 90s who weren't exclusively into women had a sexuality where they were mostly into feminine guys, trans women and intersex people... Which seems kind of telling. And then there also seem to be a lot of people who are mostly into and date other trans guys - specifically trans guys. (And this applies to both sexes these sexualities. And for whatever reason 50% of men attracted to trans women are also autogynephilic in one paper.) You're viewed as broken and people have an opinion about like what the ideal outcome for your sexuality is and try to force you to be that and it's so moralised. It's really difficult to live with that.

And on that note. I saw someone tweet about this yesterday:



This group aren't just transphobic, they're also really biphobic despite the name. This is also fairly old now from 2020 but I've seen people associated with this group say things like this a bunch of times and also seems to be a sentiment many others share.

Bisexual people should probably just have their own spaces as well but this group don't seem to realise that people are bisexual all the time and it has sociological and psychological impacts. If you're not a normative heterosexual person you deal with the stigma and emotional issues that come with that as well. And as I've said before - and this probably varies depending on where you live too - bisexual people are more likely to deal with domestic violence, rape, substance abuse issues, mental illness, poverty etc than heterosexual or homosexual people and have certain other traits. There are neurological and other differences between bisexual people and heterosexual and homosexual people on average. It's like there's this attempt to reduce the entirety of Human sex/gender difference down to 'who you are currently fucking' it's insane! Who decided that was a good model for organising everything? Sexologists certainly didn't.

https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-...eport-n1073501

When researchers separated the L, G, B and T, however, they found cisgender (or non-transgender) gay men and lesbians reported similar levels of poverty to their heterosexual counterparts, while bisexual women and transgender people (of all sexual orientations) had a poverty rate of almost 30 percent.

https://www.researchgate.net/publica...le_bisexuality

variation in prenatal sex hormones can lead to variegated nonheterosexual female phenotypes that show different composite characteristics of masculine butch and feminine femme types, as well as composite characteristics of exclusive homosexuality and non-exclusive same-sex and opposite sex attractions. Therefore, these different types of nonheterosexual women should be taken into account in research on female sexual orientation to avoid conflating different types of nonheterosexual subjects, which can make the results less clear (Luoto et al., 2019a).

Butch lesbians become aware of their sexual orientation only a few years later than heterosexual girls, at an average age of 14.6. Femme lesbians, however, become aware of their nonheterosexual orientation at the age of 22 on average (Levitt & Horne, 2002). Bisexual women tend to be less likely than lesbians to reveal their sexual orientation to family members (Pistella et al., 2016), and there seems to be less information about the average age when bisexual women do so. There is also a generational difference in the coming out process, with younger generations coming out at an earlier age than older generations (Grov, Bimbi, Nan?n, & Parsons, 2006).

It's not a homogenous group in the first place.

It is important to note that all women and men are exposed to estrogen and testosterone during their development?only the doses differ. Thus, heterosexual women, bisexuals, femmes, butch lesbians, and F-M transsexuals do not form a single continuum; rather, neurodevelopmental mechanisms of sexual differentiation lead to a two-dimensional space (Luoto et al., 2019b) where prenatal testosterone and estrogen exposure vary (Fig. 1). The two-dimensionality of the neurodevelopmental pathways leading to variation in female sexual orientation and gender identity can partially account for the finding that not all bisexual women or lesbians identify themselves clearly as butch/femme, though many do (Luoto et al., 2019a).

Most butch lesbians see themselves as exclusively homosexual and about half of femmes identify as bisexual (reviewed in Luoto et al., 2019a). Bisexual women can therefore show characteristics typical of butches, femmes, or anything in between. Butch/femme roles or equivalents exist cross-culturally and they have persisted despite feminists' attempts to homogenize lesbians, suggesting that they are important to many nonheterosexual women?s lived realities (Luoto et al., 2019a).

Oh no. The shade.

Yes they're talking about a very specific group of feminists and so on obviously (I don't normally bother to clarify because I'm so tired with so much stuff.) This was brought up in Leslie Feinberg's writing.

https://academicworks.cuny.edu/cgi/v...ontext=gc_etds

In studies conducted in the United States and other countries, bisexual adults were found to report higher levels of emotional distress and poorer physical and mental health outcomes than their gay, lesbian, and heterosexual peers (e.g. Cochran & Mays, 2007; Koh & Ross, 2006; Jorm et al., 2002). Adult bisexuals manifest higher rates of eating disorder, anxiety, depression and negative affect, suicide attempts and ideation, as well as unique social disadvantages including ?biphobia,? decreased social well-being and lack of community support (e.g. Cochran & Mays, 2000; Dodge & Sandfort 2007; Kertzner, Meyer, Frost, & Stirratt, 2009; Jorm, Korten, Rodgers, Jacomb & Christensen, 2002). Interestingly, studies also demonstrate substantial variability of distress levels within populations of bisexual adults (Ochs, 1996; Koh & Ross, 2006). To date, however, very little research has examined variability in bisexuals? psychological health outcomes and there is little information to explain the confirmed variation in psychological outcomes among bisexual women (Koh & Ross, 2006; Worthington & Reynolds, 2009). Understanding why certain bisexual adults have relatively positive psychological outcomes whereas others have particularly negative outcomes could help clinicians and researchers better understand risk factors, protective factors, and optimal treatment interventions for this population.

I found this website talking about this study and they didn't link the study and I couldn't find it while googling which is really frustrating:

But nevertheless, the brains of bisexual people (who are attracted to men and women, although not necessarily with the same frequency or intensity) do not show a mixture of the activation patterns of the other two, as one might think. According to a recent investigation whose results have been published in the journal Nature, bisexuality is associated with own neurobiological characteristics that are qualitatively different from those of homosexuals and heterosexuals.

I assume they don't just mean these 2018 Nature papers on male and female bisexuality because I don't remember the finding they're discussing coming up but maybe I just missed that and it was worded in some way that didn't stand out to me:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5766543/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5286516/

As expected, this area responded by showing preference for images in which the opposite sex appeared, in heterosexuals, and in people of the same sex, in the case of homosexual people. In the case of bisexuals, however, this area of ​​the brain (and secondarily, some others) behaved as if the differentiation between the category "man" and "woman" was not important ; In some way, the border between these two concepts was blurred, in the same way that the color of the eyes of others can be given little importance.

Of course, the reactions of pure bisexuality, understood as one in which there is no clear preference for men or women, were rare. Judging by the images obtained through the brain scanners, usually activation of the brain regions of bisexuals they showed a tendency to find more attractive one of the two sexes .

I'd like to see them do more research on the bolded part neurologically especially in the trans/trans-adj group I'm talking about. Especially because mentally I just kind of ignore people's gender if they're reasonably androgynous looking and interchangeably view them as men and women often but as a kind of fantasy. I don't do that to people I know/talk to, I mean it's an idealised romantic/sexual fantasy, but I don't think most people are capable of doing that. I see some people do it on tumblr etc mostly with famous musicians I suppose. Like the two people that took the photo of a random sexualised woman using a laptop and their first thought for some reason was 'OK let's draw Geddy Lee like this.' and it's weird right because I went onto tumblr to find more images of him (as it is generally the place to go for photos/gifs of musicians,) and then found several people doing the exact same kind of things that I do with guys where they headcannon them as women or well a lot of people on tumblr were imagining him as a lesbian specifically as well. Not just him obviously I also did this with some other musician I was attracted to for years, and Loki but Loki is canonically genderfluid as well. It's not every guy I'm attracted to of course, not even every androgynous guy I've ever been attracted to but just a bunch.

I was doing this before the paper on Chinese nisu subculture came out too (also using faceapp.) And one thing I absolutely hate is how people just claim that every part of female sexuality is a 'trend' like no at the very least I was doing it before them. And I technically started doing this in my own head! With Poison Ivy (I made her more male + androgynous.) That was when I was a teenager.

So yes if someone could research that it would be cool, but instead we're going to get 7837893759 papers on what transphobic parents think about their adolescent genetic female children suddenly coming out as trans or non-binary and how it's a trend and social contagion. That research is really going to really help them in the long term! /s

Can we just skip to the part where everything's better and I can chill? That's a joke I'm probably not capable of chilling I'm very neurotic and obsessive lol. It's the most annoying personality type I know. I've pissed off so many people.

This seems more useful:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8363999/

"There Is Nothing to Do About It": Nonbinary Individuals' Experience of Gender Dysphoria

My ideal body is one assigned male at birth i.e., flat chest, penis. I was born AFAB. I always wear baggy shirts/jackets to hide my breasts when possible. I have also had breakdowns over the fact that it is most likely medically impossible for me to obtain a normally functioning penis. (Asian/Asian American agender person, 18 )

Wearing very feminine clothes is uncomfortable because I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not and that I'm accentuating things I would rather hide. But wearing very masculine clothes can also be uncomfortable because I become self-conscious about the fact that I don't look like a man despite making these efforts. (White nonbinary person, 29)

When asked to describe their experience, 16 of the 205 (7.8% ) participants noted that they did not experience gender dysphoria by explicitly stating either that they have no dysphoria or that they have no issue with their body.

That's less than 10% of the sample despite the fact that most people assume non-binary people don't experience dysphoria.

Thematic analysis revealed the unique way gender dysphoria is experienced by nonbinary individuals. When describing their gender dysphoria, the majority of our participants did so by referencing androgyny or fluidity. Sometimes this was articulated as desiring an androgynous body or gender presentation to better reflect their nonbinary identities. To attain the desired androgyny, participants described specific feminine and masculine traits that they either wanted to keep or desired to obtain. This conceptualization stands in contrast to the classic clinical conceptualization of gender dysphoria as based on rejecting one set of (binary) features in favor of the "opposite." These findings also help explain why nonbinary individuals are the least likely among transindividuals to feel that traditional measures of gender dysphoria reflect their experience.11

The majority of our participants described a sense of profound hopelessness surrounding their dysphoria, and expressed that there is no apparent solution to their distress. For many, hormone treatment or other gender affirmative treatments that are traditionally seen as providing necessary and lifesaving treatment for those with gender dysphoria14 were not seen as viable options for our nonbinary participants. These treatments that work to move bodily presentation from masculine to feminine or from feminine to masculine were conceptualized more as a trade-off than as workable solution. Our nonbinary participants expressed that while these options may address some aspects of their gender dysphoria, they would necessarily give rise to other troubling aspects of distress.

Conclusion: Results of this study suggest that nonbinary trans individuals experience gender dysphoria in unique ways. These findings highlight the need to develop clinical assessments of gender dysphoria that reflect nonbinary experience, and to outline explicit medical protocols for interventions tailored to achieve a desired outcome of physical androgyny.

The title of the paper is also depressingly accurate haha. I'd basically have to shapeshift I think. In lieu of that if I could change my voice without social discrimination and without other side effects of masculinisation I might consider that.

As for the LGB alliance though it's really frustrating but ultimately they're most likely just some astroturfed conservative group cause I mean:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F0dtzdsW...png&name=small

To those people saying it is "homophobic" not to be in favour of gay marriage have a look at the statistics. It seems it's rather a small minority who have made their wedding vows. #LGBIssues #CanWeDropItNowPlease #NotABigDeal #PluralityOfViewIsAllowed

They try to be vaguely subtle but don't do a brilliant job. I think they may have deleted that tweet later (I know they've deleted some.) Obviously certain radical people are generally against marriage as an institution and lots of people don't want to get married - that's fine, but specifically singling out samesex marriage is homophobic.



I do think they probably are against conversion therapy for homosexual and bisexual people, they'd just be willing to allow it to happen if it means trans conversion therapy for transgender and non-binary people is allowed and these things are lumped together (they're not always the UK banned conversion therapy for sexual orientation but not gender identity though I think that's supposed to be changing this year.) A bunch of transphobes are willing to throw any other group under the bus in their quest to eliminate trans people and to team up with anyone. This has been going on for a long time though (transatlantically and the US fundamentalists fund groups and individuals here infuriatingly):



^ this entire video can be summarised with quoting this part:

"She's an older woman she's maybe in her 60s and I'm like you've got to know that this is wrong and she said - this is a direct quote - I'm kind of machiavellian about this."

"And I looked at her and said this opposition to this title VII lawsuit has the potential to overturn Price Waterhouse [v. Hopkins] which would be very bad for women do you not understand that?"

"And she was like 'I'll take my chances'"


This is absurd lol (there's a thread of screenshots from dumb stuff they've said that I'm currently looking through and I think this is the most insane claim because it's just so easy to dispute):

The LGB Alliance are not big fans of [BEEP] history, so they simply make up their own instead.

This is far and away one of the funniest things they've ever come out with while pretending to support "LGB people".

On their first action (September 9, 1992), the Lesbian Avengers targeted right-wing attempts to suppress a multicultural "Children of the Rainbow" curriculum for elementary schoolchildren. Ostensibly under attack for including lesbians and gay men in its lessons about diversity,[16] some activists like Ana Maria Simo charged that opponents, besides being homophobic, also had a racist agenda in battling the multicultural curriculum.[17]

Meeting in Queens School District 24 where the opposition to the "Rainbow Curriculum" was strongest, they paraded through the neighborhood with an all-lesbian marching band to a local elementary school where they gave out lavender balloons to children and their parents saying "Ask About Lesbian Lives". They also wore tee-shirts reading, "I was a lesbian child".[17]

They also demonstrated without permits,[17] refusing to ask for permission to express themselves. Organizer Kelly Cogswell later elaborated on this principle during the 1994 International [BEEP] March, "We ask for a permit; they can say no."[18]

Above all, their choice of action reflected their commitment to challenging homophobic stereotypes. In this case, some members objected to going anywhere near children since lesbians and gay men had so often been portrayed as child molesters. Other members thought that was precisely why their presence was essential. And that was the eventual consensus of the group.[17]

Also ironic because of this (talking about Kate Harris):

But Harris said that LGB Alliance aimed to "show children that being LGB is a happy thing, not to help LGB children because I don't believe LGB children exist"

A lot of kids know as children, and they definitely often know before aged 18. I hung out with a gay guy in secondary school and this was during an era which was still very homophobic in the UK (the 2000s.) I think he came out probably in year 8 or 9 so he would have been around 12-14. Obviously it's different with younger kids but there are still usually signs and many people report knowing from like age 5-7ish. Varies depending on sexuality too. Takes bisexuals longer:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5042327/

Bisexual people experienced sexual identity and disclosure milestones later than gay and lesbian people.

For example, bisexual people have been found to have higher odds of suicidal ideation and attempts than gay men and lesbians (Saewyc et al. 2008 ). In our study, we found that bisexual experienced a greater time between the age of first awareness of same-sex attraction and the age of first self-identification than gay and lesbian respondents. Studies are needed to characterize the processes through which individuals move among the coming out milestones. For example, if a greater time between milestones is indicative of internal conflict, researchers may benefit from examining sexual identity milestones by identity subgroup to partially explain the increased odds of suicidal ideation and attempts.

Some people also take a long time to figure things out and they're not necessarily better adjusted. I mean... Do I seem well adjusted lol? Exactly.

Anyway new Drab Majesty song omg:

[Nyctophilia]

Brains are weird. There have been some moments lately where I've felt almost content or happy. (You wouldn't know it from my posts hahaha.) It's this weird feeling that reminds me of moments I haven't had for a really long time. Like when I was a teenager on holiday sometimes then came to mind. There might be something more recent than that. But there's no reason for it my life is objectively a disaster. And also my mood in general has gotten a lot better since around March and less anxiety. I still have times where I get really angry/pissed off at stuff as always and my attention span/motivation issues are the same as always but just more happy/content moments and less anxiety compared to 2022. Also slightly higher sex drive.

I guess it's like the emotional reaction I got during the period where I'd just discovered this song and listened to it with headphones but a little milder:



Like I say nothing has changed at all so it's weird and goes to show how much is just chemical reactions that are probably out of your control.

And it's kind of terrifying because I don't know if some point I'm going to get really bad anxiety again. Before that episode my anxiety had fairly consistent triggers and was predictable in degree etc. And I'd never had a panic attack before then.

[Nyctophilia]

Unpopular opinion: Marriage is a stupid concept.

I don't dislike it conceptually (although that might just be because I have a loose definition of the concept,) but I think the legal institution of marriage is weird because it involves the government and acts coercively to try and encourage certain forms of behaviour by giving benefits to married couples that others - including other couples - don't get. Also pushes monogamy in most cultures. Divorce seems messy in a bunch of countries which leads to more social discontent. The part (in Christian/Western marriages anyway,) where you're supposed to stay with one person for your entire life is also unrealistic. And various forms of marriage have also been sexist.

I also don't really get why people who favour monogamous relationships or 2 parent households place so much importance on it because my aunt has been with her partner for like... Since at least 2001 but I don't remember when they got together. They had their first kid in 2002. As far as I know they're still together and they never got married and they have two kids.

I don't think people who don't want to stay with people should be coerced because it just leads to unhappy relationships and marriages. I always feel uncomfortable talking about it in detail but my parent's marriage and my family dynamic were less than ideal and we couldn't and didn't talk about it. They also got married when they were like 21 which seems crazy to me although I also went to the wedding of a couple at uni who got married when they were like 21 and 19 or something like that. Then my parents stayed together and didn't get divorced (eventually when I was an adult my dad moved out but they're still not divorced.) They had numerous communication issues and my dad had said that he never wanted to get married or have kids before we were born. I think a lot of millenials have messy families in one way or another so I don't view it as necessarily ideal.

[Doseone]

Brains are weird.

Tell me about it. I've been thinking about how crazy it is that a lump of matter can see, taste, smell, touch and hear, and do so simultaneously. Also, when we're dreaming the brain creates it's own reality with no sense data coming in. I remember when I was having withdrawals and couldn't sleep for a week. I had this experience where I would close my eyes and "see" random images like there was a phone screen behind my eyes. I saw people dancing. A lot of very detailed faces. It was crazy. I also played a song in my head. It only lasted like an hour or so. I think it was because I was so sleep deprived. My brain was dreaming while I was awake or something.

I don't dislike it conceptually (although that might just be because I have a loose definition of the concept,) but I think the legal institution of marriage is weird because it involves the government and acts coercively to try and encourage certain forms of behaviour by giving benefits to married couples that others - including other couples - don't get. Also pushes monogamy in most cultures. Divorce seems messy in a bunch of countries which leads to more social discontent. The part (in Christian/Western marriages anyway,) where you're supposed to stay with one person for your entire life is also unrealistic. And various forms of marriage have also been sexist.

I also don't really get why people who favour monogamous relationships or 2 parent households place so much importance on it because my aunt has been with her partner for like... Since at least 2001 but I don't remember when they got together. They had their first kid in 2002. As far as I know they're still together and they never got married and they have two kids.

I don't think people who don't want to stay with people should be coerced because it just leads to unhappy relationships and marriages. I always feel uncomfortable talking about it in detail but my parent's marriage and my family dynamic were less than ideal and we couldn't and didn't talk about it. They also got married when they were like 21 which seems crazy to me although I also went to the wedding of a couple at uni who got married when they were like 21 and 19 or something like that. Then my parents stayed together and didn't get divorced (eventually when I was an adult my dad moved out but they're still not divorced.) They had numerous communication issues and my dad had said that he never wanted to get married or have kids before we were born. I think a lot of millenials have messy families in one way or another so I don't view it as necessarily ideal.

I was in a 14 year relationship and neither of us wanted to get married. We were together longer than a lot of married couples. When we broke up my dad made the comment that we weren't married, like that somehow diminishes the seriousness of the relationship. The idea that you need to have a traditional wedding for your relationship to be valid is silly to me. I have nothing against lifelong relationships, I just don't see the need for it to be called a marriage. Just be a couple. I also don't like the ceremonial aspect - wedding rings, dressing up, etc. It's just weird to me. lol.

[Nyctophilia]

Tell me about it. I've been thinking about how crazy it is that a lump of matter can see, taste, smell, touch and hear, and do so simultaneously. Also, when we're dreaming the brain creates it's own reality with no sense data coming in. I remember when I was having withdrawals and couldn't sleep for a week. I had this experience where I would close my eyes and "see" random images like there was a phone screen behind my eyes. I saw people dancing. A lot of very detailed faces. It was crazy. I also played a song in my head. It only lasted like an hour or so. I think it was because I was so sleep deprived. My brain was dreaming while I was awake or something.

I haven't had many hallucination type experiences but I did once see a bunch of cables I think when I was half asleep/half awake which was kind of weird. Also had sleep paralysis once but I didn't see anything I just had the sensation of some sort of alien/demonic kind of being standing over me telling me they wanted to kill me or something like that which was scary. Kind of glad I couldn't see lol that probably would have taken longer to get over from the stories I've heard.

I was in a 14 year relationship and neither of us wanted to get married. We were together longer than a lot of married couples. When we broke up my dad made the comment that we weren't married, like that somehow diminishes the seriousness of the relationship. The idea that you need to have a traditional wedding for your relationship to be valid is silly to me. I have nothing against lifelong relationships, I just don't see the need for it to be called a marriage. Just be a couple. I also don't like the ceremonial aspect - wedding rings, dressing up, etc. It's just weird to me. lol.

Yeah it's weird to me how relationships are devalued that way. I feel like it would be fun to come up with some kind of creative thing to do with your partner though, but the reality is most weddings are fairly formulaic and similar to one another and the part where you have a bunch of guests staring at you etc seems uncomfortable as well. In that sense I'm sure getting engaged is more meaningful than the actual wedding imo. Also people spend insane amounts of money on weddings often and I think it would be more fun to travel or something if you have that kind of money.

[Nyctophilia]

Their name is really dumb it should be 'let women who agree with me speak' given women are more likely to support trans rights than men this is incredibly presumptuous of them.

I say them but it does seem to be a whole lot of just Posie all the time.

"Let women speak!"

Posie you speak every time. Get off the stage! women not woman.

It doesn't help that the most vocal women are all upper middle class/clearly rich white English women.

I don't think most women who agree with her need her to do this either because I remember last year there was a woman who stormed into some drag queen story hour event and just started yelling at people. She recorded herself too but I can't find a video now on google because too much stuff is happening all the time.

Also yeah lol he mentions the conspiracy theorists. There was that woman who was at one of her events at Speaker's corner who just started ranting about vaccines lol. Man I really have to start bookmarking shit. I can't find a video either it was insane lol.

Of course I can find this one:





Oh no it wasn't the right group to make generalisations about! Haha.







I find the idea of her coming to this town very amusing but she never will because she'd be too scared. I think she'd get to the town centre, immediately see a teenage boy who is South Asian (37% of my town are South Asian,) and just lose her [BEEP] because she thought he looked at her weirdly. Then she'll collapse on the floor when she overhears someone speaking Polish.

No it's very entertaining to me. I'd bring some popcorn.



This has nothing to do with this post lol it's just a good song:



A few years ago Lauren Southern did come here with Allah is gay leaflets. Maybe Posie could try and one up her with Allah is trans leaflets oh no wait...

She might find she agrees with some people. Katie Hopkins did:

Far-right commentator Katie Hopkins met with activists Shakeel Afsar and Amir Ahmed on Eid to discuss why Muslim parents in Birmingham are protesting against pro-LGBT lessons in primary schools.

Public stunned as Katie Hopkins joins forces with leaders of Birmingham anti-LGBT school protests

Got to love LGBT (mostly trans,) people bringing people together.

(Actually some of her leaflets did say Allah is trans apparently and intersex lol. Damn it Lauren you ruined my joke.)

Of course afaik Lauren is still legally male in Canada.

I don't think fascists could ever hope to piss off most of their enemies as much as the LGBT+ community can. That's very funny when you think about it. And important. Because the Human brain defaults to binarism and likes to divide everything into two groups. That's also why some delusional people seem to want to lump all minority groups together in some universal conspiracy where everyone automatically agrees with everyone else. But it's always more complicated than that.



LOL:



I just think about this now everytime she comes up. Going to have to make a playlist soon:



Top 10 anime villain monologues.

[Doseone]

I haven't had many hallucination type experiences but I did once see a bunch of cables I think when I was half asleep/half awake which was kind of weird. Also had sleep paralysis once but I didn't see anything I just had the sensation of some sort of alien/demonic kind of being standing over me telling me they wanted to kill me or something like that which was scary. Kind of glad I couldn't see lol that probably would have taken longer to get over from the stories I've heard.

You saw the matrix cables. =P

I've luckily never had sleep paralysis. I've also heard stories and nope. I don't want to ever experience that.

--

I'm finally going to buy a new bike. When I moved I left my bike there because I couldn't bring it as it wouldn't fit in the car. I need some much needed exercise. I've pretty much been doing nothing all year. And to think that I used to ride for 15-20 miles every other day.

[Ironman]

9 hours of sleep.....in the last two days.

Ain't anxiety fun?!

[Nyctophilia]

Their name is really dumb it should be 'let women who agree with me speak' given women are more likely to support trans rights than men this is incredibly presumptuous of them.

I say them but it does seem to be a whole lot of just Posie all the time.

"Let women speak!"

Posie you speak every time. Get off the stage! women not woman.

It doesn't help that the most vocal women are all upper middle class/clearly rich white English women.

I don't think most women who agree with her need her to do this either because I remember last year there was a woman who stormed into some drag queen story hour event and just started yelling at people. She recorded herself too but I can't find a video now on google because too much stuff is happening all the time.

Lol I'm listening to more of this video now and it's even worse than that. Despite her events being called 'let women speak' she says all men can also show up to talk. She's cool with fascists coming and talking too. So it's not about women at all. Fascist men can speak but clearly no one who disagrees with her or trans people are allowed to speak despite the topic being about trans people. Nice! What an absolute cunt.

Other things mentioned so far in video. This article:

CPAC chief boasts US abortion ban could be part of solution to 'great replacement'

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...-b2083725.html

American Conservative Union chairman Matt Schlapp on Thursday told a gathering of right-wing activists that banning abortion and forcing women to carry unwanted pregnancies to term would be a good way to boost birth rates of "our own people" and stave off the "great replacement" many Republicans and white supremacists fear will result from increased levels of immigration to the United States.

Absolutely vile creatures. I'm not going to say US women should stop having kids, but I think at least anyone ambivalent should avoid it under these circumstances out of self respect. Or leave the country if possible.

I can't imagine being as fucking stupid as a white nationalist though. 'I want more white women to have kids so I'm going to message them creepy things on twitter about their eggs and attempt to control their reproductive options as though I'm a rapist and then make it seem that if they reproduce with white men I'm winning.'

Not only is it disgusting it's also just a really bad reproductive strategy and so is annoying for that reason too. Are you thick?

More U.S. Women Are Avoiding Unwanted or Mistimed Pregnancies

Births and pregnancies in the United States have been on a long-term decline. A new data analysis provides one reason: It’s becoming less common for women to get pregnant when they don’t want to be.

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/03/u...reference.html

Looks like your tactic isn't working.

A big part of the reason for the decline, at least so far, is the “pretty significant increase in women using long-acting contraceptive methods like the (intrauterine device) in recent periods,” Finer said. These methods, such as the levonorgestrel and copper IUD and birth control implants, are associated with failure rates of less than 1%, while the failure rates of birth control pills and condoms are about 9% and 18%, respectively.

That is actually really high.

[Nyctophilia]

Lol my friend was talking to me about the new NPC tiktok fetish trend and linking me a bunch of stuff and ultimately after we were discussing this and other stuff he was like:

One day I'll show you something and you'll just be like "oh yeah that's weird"
Instead of your usual rationalisation =P

haha
but then that's not really how I view things lol
I usually like to contemplate what's going on
I mean it can still be weird technically

One day I'll find something beyond contemplation

🤣 but yeah I'm really annoying lol. I mean especially never link me anything sexuality related because it's my special interest.

Really is like this but with way less intelligence:

[Doseone]

I remember when I discovered this song:


which has a lyric "you blew up your television." Then like a week later when I was going to therapy, I saw a bumper sticker on a car with a quote from John Prine that said "Blow up your TV." I thought that was a weird coincidence.

[Nyctophilia]

Safe to say that Tina Fey is the best female comedic actress of all time....not too mention her writing skills.

Ehh... the team she has around her contributed a lot. Donald Glover was one of the writers.

Kimmy Schmitt was a more accurate portrayal of Tina Fey's talents. Much less funny. Not to mention all the unrelatable and off putting lgbt nonsense (tyrus?s character). Tina Fey preaching progressive values at the cost of comedy before as well.

Even Jenna Maroney's character and her cross dressing boyfriend was so weird and distracting. But it pushed the envelope for edginess in the 2000s and was a sign of the SJW woke garbage that would come and eventually try to kill comedy itself.

oh my god you people can never give it a rest huh

Yeah but I can be worse so:

It's fairly unnecessary to point out her gender in the first place (and yeah as was pointed out she's more of a writer,) but this response is even worse.

1. No one feels the need to do this if the lead writer on a show is male.

2. Mean Girls is a very quotable film to this day. Obviously better example of her talent too. It's not something I'd want to re-watch now but I still quote a bunch of parts.

I love how Glen Coco serves absolutely no purpose except this scene, yet he's one of the most memorable characters

It's true lol.

But yeah men like this won't like something purely because it's feminine or has (feminine,) gay male characters in. It's fine not to like something because you're not the target audience for it (and you're not.) But it's pretty stupid to then argue that it's bad just because it wasn't designed for you.

Also I bet he didn't make it past the theme song lol:



I don't like it as much as 30 rock and I think I probably didn't watch some later season(s) because there was a gap at one point and I didn't go back to it but it was pretty good.

I think mostly I just wanted a show about the alcoholic therapist character (didn't get enough scenes lol):



This is the only scene with that character on YouTube still for some reason.

Am I the only one to ship them ???

No comment.

It's because she has glasses. And two personalities sort of. I tried to find fanfiction years ago and there were basically none from what I remember. Yeah there's still only 62 fanfics lol and none of them are that ship or about Andrea. There are actually some Kimmy/Jacqueline fanfics. Oh wait I did find one that features her but it's still Kimmy/Jacqueline.

This is all that YouTube commenters fault for complaining about that show.

Also on 30 rock that private detective character would have made a great spin off show. Though spin off shows are usually bad and fail but you know conceptually at least. Technically Kimmy Schmidt also exists in the same universe.

Yeah this is just complete stream of consciousness.

I still find it funny that American Psycho's screenplay was written by a feminist woman and a lesbian woman and yet for some reason annoying men of this type often like it. That's not actually true probably. It's mostly just gen z boys and at a stretch millennials that guy is giving off grumpy dad energy at least. Millennials aren't dad's because we're not reproducing. It's actually one of my favourite films too though. (I mean it's a great film so who doesn't like it besides tons of people. I have to return some video tapes.) I haven't read the book though so they didn't write it from scratch and I don't know how much it borrows from it. The book was written by a gay man. But he's indistinguishable in temperament/values from this audience afaik so I doubt they care.

That's not as funny as the fact that apparently Andrea Long Chu wrote an article about the author (can't remember if I've stumbled on this before or not):

Bret Easton Ellis rages against the decline of American culture
ANDREA LONG CHU

"I never pretended to be an expert on millennials," writes Bret Easton Ellis halfway through White, and the reader desperately wishes this were true. Ellis is best known for American Psycho, the controversial 1991 cult novel about an image-obsessed Wall Street serial killer; the film adaption would star Christian Bale as psychotic investment banker Patrick Bateman. Following several increasingly metafictional novels and a few bad screenplays, White is Ellis's first foray into nonfiction, and the result is less a series of glorified, padded-out blog posts than a series of regular, normal-size blog posts. Mostly, Ellis hates social media and wishes millennials would stop whining and "pull on their big boy pants"--an actual quote from this deeply needless book, whose existence one assumes we could have all been spared if Ellis's millennial boyfriend had simply shown the famous man how to use the mute feature on Twitter.

No *stomps foot*

Social media is bad though.

Like The Catcher in the Rye before it and Fight Club after it, American Psycho is a book designed to convince comfortable white men that they are, in fact, "outsiders and monsters and freaks."

I don't think they're allowed to claim it. The strange mentally unstable women on tumblr have already said it's for girls with a sparkly pink gif meme (lol was it even sparkly/a gif. I might be yassifying this in my memory. It was in a Strange Aeons video.) So that's the end of that. I don't think I'm going to try and find it (I'm not stepping that far into the abyss today,) but just to take a moment. Spoiler tags don't work on images but yeah:






Second thought: Why is Jared Leto in all the edgelord films both the 'male' and 'female' ones? (Not literally though. He's not in Heathers.)

I think I've seen parts of Girl Interrupted or something but I don't remember it and didn't properly watch it one way or the other. I think it made me uncomfortable because I used to know a girl with psychopathic traits. Yes that girl from school obviously.

Obviously I preferred this:

Edgelords were characterised by author Rachel Monroe in her account of criminal behaviour, Savage Appetites:

...internet cynics lumped the online Nazis together with the serial killer fetishists and the dumbest goths and dismissed them all as edgelords: kids who tried to be scary online. I thought of most of these edgelords as basement-dwellers, pale faces lit by the glow of their computer screen, puffing themselves up with nihilism. An edgelord was a scrawny guy with a LARP-y vibe, possibly wearing a cloak, dreaming of omnipotence. Or a girl with excessive eyeliner and lots of Tumblr posts about self-harm. The disturbing content posted by edgelords was undermined by its predictability...[6]

Oi. No that's fair lol. I've actually never been that much of an edgelord more like edgelord-light.

First thought: He's so hated and I still don't get why. The very first time I watched American Psycho I was with a group of people at university (I mean it wasn't part of uni lol, I just was at uni at the time. Dark academia trololol. This was in like 2010 I think though.) and this one girl was so excited about that she just really hated him. I think I get it though because I have a similar thing with Tom Cruise although even then I don't care to see him violently attacked or whatever I just aggressively avoid anything he's in including Interview with the Vampire. (A rare case where I've read the book and not seen the film.) And at this point I think it's more of a tradition than anything else. And maybe it's the same with Jared Leto.

Mostly I know him from his 5.5-6/10 music.



There's one specific moment of this video (1:40) where for 2 seconds the guitarist (?) reminds me of Selma Blair for no good reason. That's quite the super power. And I'm always waiting for that part.



I haven't seen Requiem for a Dream and from things I've heard about the film I'm sort of in a position where it's like 'I don't know if I want to be this depressed/mindfucked now.' So his best role is still technically 'muse for Simon Amstell's stand up comedy act Do Nothing.' Because that had a big impact on my life.

But back to this article.

She doesn't seem to be a big fan of his for class based reasons perhaps, but she was a fan of the Scum Manifesto and Valerie Solanas for class based reasons and because Solanas probably had a forced feminisation kink. Which I admit is lacking from American Psycho. But if he started feminising Jared Leto in the film while monologuing to him about music I would have had to sue:

The Society for Cutting Up Men is a rather fabulous name for a transsexual book club

This line took my breath away. This was a vision of transsexuality as separatism, an image of how male-to-female gender transition might express not just disidentification with maleness but disaffiliation with men. Here, transition, like revolution, was recast in aesthetic terms, as if transsexual women decided to transition, not to "confirm" some kind of innate gender identity, but because being a man is stupid and boring.

Meanwhile:

Harron has been at times labelled a feminist filmmaker, in part due to her film on lesbian feminist Valerie Solanas, I Shot Andy Warhol, as well as a lesbian storyline within her 2011 teenage Gothic horror film The Moth Diaries (2011).[12] She has consistently denied this label, although she considers herself a feminist. In a 2006 interview, and then again during an interview in 2012,[31] she stated:

I feel that without feminism, I wouldn't be doing this. So I feel very grateful. Without it, God knows what my life would be. I don't make feminist films in the sense that I don't make anything ideological. But I do find that women get my films better. Women and gay men. Maybe because they're less threatened by it, or they see what I'm trying to say better.[32]

For Solanas, there was this fierce, outsider quality to her unhappiness and frustration. That was a time in my life when I was frustrated myself in my work. I wanted to direct. I had the idea years before I got to direct myself. So I think there were elements of my own frustration and elements of what it was like growing up with an unfair attitude towards women ... and Valerie was an extreme example of that. There was also the intellectual interest of how someone can be so brilliant and her life goes so wrong, and also, that she was so forgotten and misunderstood. In both cases, I felt like Valerie had been consigned to history as this lunatic, almost nothing written about her.[14]

Strangely I just read in some article that he apparently used to hang out with Donna Tartt who wrote The Secret History. Which I haven't read (I don't read. Books. Usually. Especially fiction.)

"There's no writing. They don't care about literature. None of them read books."

stfu Brett.

But seemed to have no significant notable fandom/cultural relevancy until Tumblr decided to create Dark Academia several years ago.

Ellis was 21 when his debut novel, Less Than Zero, was published, receiving both adulation for his stinging social critique, and death threats from those revolted by the naked amorality and materialism in his work. He didn't care: he was out every night with Manhattan?s literary Brat Pack -- a talented set including Donna Tartt and Jay McInerney who were bright, caustic and consumed phenomenal quantities of cocaine.

Oh no Vanity Fair you're not going to paywall me until you figure out I can avoid that by using incognito mode.

Lili Anolik: I?ve been working on this story ever since I interviewed Bret Easton Ellis in the office of his West Hollywood condo about a movie he?d scripted, The Canyons, back in 2013. Sitting right there on his bookcase shelf was a hardcover copy of The Secret History, a novel I?d first read when I was 14, then reread probably once a year, every year, until I turned 25.

I remembered out loud that Donna Tartt had co-dedicated the book to him, and Bret said that he and Donna had been at Bennington together--then mentioned that they?d gone on a date freshman year. The date was, I'll confess, a bit of a surprise since it was his boyfriend who, a few minutes before, had buzzed me up, but I rolled with it. I asked where they went that night, who paid, was there a kiss at the end, and I?ve asked him a million Bennington-related questions ever since. It was a casual conversation turned hardcore obsession.

lol so I guess I would have learnt that if I read the book.

I don't see Dark Academia fans bring up The Wives of Bath (I also haven't read that. I found out about it based on the film Lost and Delirious which I learnt about from the TV tropes page 'psycho lesbian' as well adjusted people do - but it's a dark boarding school book so seems like it would fit in. Also the book is a lot more fucked up and involves castration but it's not as simple as that. I'm just trying not to be graphic. And yes I did read the plot because it wasn't like I was going to read it.)



(this is just my response to all of this lol.)

You know she starts frantically trying to look for paper at about 20 minutes into the video:



Lol no.

[Nyctophilia]

Still working my way through this video since it's so long. A lot of this info I already knew but somehow learning some new stuff as well.

The issue with challenging people based on assumptions if you think they're trans and increasing gender policing along those lines is that most of the people you go after won't be trans. Like that 9 year old girl with short hair in Canada who was accused by someone's grandad at some sporting event of being trans... People are really stupid and just aren't good at guessing. Another thing is they assume trans people look non-conforming but many pass or are very gender conforming in their transitioned to gender. This is even more true of young children since early onset trans people are more gender conforming in their transitioned to gender than people who come out and transition later in life. You have to be to develop such intense dysphoria so soon in life.

Most of the women who have been chucked out of women's toilets or harassed have just been butch cisgender women not trans women. Some of them weren't even butch but were still cisgender like this one woman I'm thinking of in a public toilet. Additionally a couple of months ago in Ireland a guy beat up an 86 year old woman he assumed was transgender and a predatory pedophile and stuck her in a wheelie bin. Supposedly he had 'psychosis' after drinking a lot of alcohol but the nature of his delusion (assuming that wasn't a lie,) wasn't a coincidence. The media is engaging in constant stochastic terrorism.

Also yeah Kellie Jay Keen/Posie Parker is just a ginormous hypocrite (she's also quite psychopathic of course,) who is motivated purely by hate towards trans people. She doesn't really care about men being in women's spaces as she encourages armed men to enter women's spaces. She doesn't care to prioritise women's speech as she's fine with fascist men showing up to her events to talk. And she doesn't care about people's fertility as she thinks - and this is a direct quote - 'women who call themselves men should be sterilised' as pointed out in the video that's 'be sterilised' not 'get' she believes we should be forcibly sterilised. So she doesn't really care.

She then followed criticism of that tweet up with:

Apparently it's controversial to think women who've taken testosterone and don't want to be women shouldn't carry babies with no intention of that baby having a mother IN EXISTENCE. Shame on humanity.

Well I call myself a man and I'm not on testosterone. I also call myself a woman. I wouldn't carry a child/give birth myself anyway and I don't think this is a good time in history to be having kids as a non-binary person (I've seen how much media attention/harassment many people get,) but I don't want to be sterilised either.

Testosterone doesn't usually sterilise genetic female people. It suppresses fertility and most people who go off for several months seem to find their fertility returns to normal. It's not a good idea to tell people it sterilises you because in one survey on 41 trans men who had gotten pregnant they found 1/4 of those pregnancies were unplanned. Possibly in some of those cases they assumed they couldn't get pregnant because people keep insisting it sterilises you. And you don't want to be on testosterone when you get pregnant for obvious reasons. But it's kind of fucking disgusting to have to constantly bring this sort of thing up, and that the media does all the time, just because people are terrified about losing access to wombs.

He then mentions that when someone later asked her if she retracts her statement she said she didn't:

So you retract it?

No. I've explained why I said it. I don't think women who have opted out should have children. I think it's desperately damaging to kids. I did not propose a sterilisation plan.

As he says: "Her only attempt at defense is to say that she did not propose a sterilisation plan. So she said it should happen but what? She didn't personally draw up a timetable for it so that's OK."

Lol yeah.

One minute she refers to trans men as poor little victims who need to be protected from damaging their own bodies and the next minute she refers to them as dangerous abusers who need to be sterilised to prevent them from reproducing. On the surface it doesn't make sense does it? I went back and forth on this trying to understand how one person could believe what seems to be two directly contradictory things but I finally understood it when my girlfriend pointed out that Keen is operating on zombie rules. From her perspective everyone starts off as a potential victim, but the moment they are actually victimised as she sees it, they become infected and cease to be Human. The key to understanding this contradiction turned out to be dehumanisation.

I tend to use vampirism as a metaphor for how people view things (especially given the literal way that's been employed for LGBT+ people historically,) but yeah zombie works too. I'd guess they alternate between vampire and zombie depending on whether they want to portray you as a mindless 'NPC' or as a manipulative predator. (Metaphorically speaking. Sometimes not metaphorically speaking...)

So she's also posted many times about how she wants trans women to die, or she hopes they die etc. I'd seen screenshots of most of those posts before.

There's a common kind of very disagreeable psychopathic + narcissistic personality type + paranoid/conspiratorial with a contempt for knowledge that you can't get away from that's becoming particularly influential and powerful. In this video he talks about her contempt for knowledge and distrust of people who are more knowledgeable or who read research. She's not alone Andrew Tate is another great example of the type:

I have a bunch of medical beliefs that I have zero proof for.

I refuse to read "research" because its matrix garbage.

Nicotine and caffeine are miracle drugs.

The reason my test level is enormous despite NEVER TAKING ANY STEROIDS EVER is 25 cups of coffee and 20 cigars a day.

Plus the fact that my mind is at constant war and my body reacts to the fact that THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL ME.

I haven?t slept properly in months.

But I?ve never wasted a single minute.

We must prepare for war.

Mainstream media, news, teachers, parents, friends, everyone and everything is defining who you are on a fundamental level.

The average aren?t selective, they think nothing of it.

They just allow programming.

If you watch clips he's constantly bragging about how much he knows and how he's right all the time. Posie Parker is quite similar additionally constantly talking about how 'she doesn't lose.' The point where I thought 'oh this woman is a psychopath' though actually had nothing to do with this debate it was watching a clip of her sinisterly talking about what she'd do if her husband ever left her.

I wanted to say low intelligence but that doesn't exactly make sense in Tate's case his father was an attorney and professional chess player and he grew up playing chess in tournaments I think, so it seems unlikely that that is an issue per se. I think Tate is more unstable than Posie Parker like he's falling to pieces but that's to be expected given he's been locked up in prison lately etc and since he's male he's not getting away with the same level of shit.

I know more about Tate's background too then Keen's that's always interesting to explore. Eg:

I was raised by a single mother in England.

I wouldn't call my mother particularly nice or soft.

In fact - my mother was mean and hard.

I believe he means this as a compliment. It's not how he expects women in general to be or how he talks about women, but it is what he expects from his daughter (for her to be hard.)

I usually saw my dad about once a year when he would visit and I remember one time they had a MASSIVE argument.

I was about 13. Dad had come to visit.

The day before he arrived mum took me to get a haircut at a place I didn?t normally go.

They cut it differently. Mum didn?t like it.

It was the first time I had seen dad in a year.

We were sitting in the living room.

"I don?t like how they cut your hair Andrew"

I was a kid. My mother told me my hair was shit. What else am I gonna reply?

Me: me neither.

Mum: yes we won?t go there again

Me: can we go to the normal place next time?

Dad stands up from the couch: WHAT THE [BEEP] ARE YOU DOING?

Dad lost his mind.

What the [BEEP] is wrong with you woman?

YOU'RE RAISING MY SON TO BE A [BEEP]? Crying about his haircut?

This is the kinda man you?re raising when I?m not around?

Mum started screaming back calling dad crazy and telling him to leave the house.

My dad was a 0-100 kinda guy. From silence to SCREAMING out of nowhere.

Now mum's crying and tells dad to get out of the house or she?s calling the police.

Dad leaves. One hour into seeing him first time in a year.

Mum: your dad is crazy it?s only a haircut see why I can?t be around your dad anymore.

Next day dad calls the house and tells me to go to the hotel he's staying at.

I go. We play chess.

"Your mother does the best she can. But she?s still a female" he said.

I didn?t reply.

"Females fucking around with haircuts. You won?t be raised into a little bitch" he said.

We left the hotel and he marched me to a barber shop where he paid to have my head shaved.

I protested. Why? Dunno. Was a kid.

But I feared my dad. As if he was God himself.

I sat in the chair holding back tears as my head was shaved.

Afterwards dad said:

Your mother loves you and I love you.

Nobody in the world gives a [BEEP] about your haircut. When you grow up you?ll see - they only care about what kinda man you are.

I went home. Mum went NUTS.

I feel like I had a nightmare (multiple,) about this before I read this (before I knew he existed.) It's very symbolic. He's very symbolic. But I can't go on a schizotypal tangent about hair again haha. I already deleted a bunch of stuff about vampires that I wrote in this post before.

I heard them on the phone.

Mum: you're fucking crazy Emory why did you do that it?s only a fucking haircut I don?t want to see you ever again [BEEP] off back to America

And that?s what dad did.

He left England.

My mother complained about how crazy dad is and how it?s impossible to even speak around him without him losing his temper and going crazy.

"Forcing Andrew to shave his head" became a story mother would tell of how "insane" my dad was for years to come.

But guess what...

He was totally right.

I look back now and THANK him.

What good comes from a 13-year-old boy giving a [BEEP] about his haircut?

ZERO.

My mother?s intentions were pure. But she?s a FEMALE.

This is very normal female behavior.

Son with his cute haircut. But it?s unimportant.

2 years ago I walked into a new barber shop and they said

"How do you want your hair cut?"

It reminded me of this story.

And I told them to shave it all off.

Nobody gives a [BEEP] about my hair.

They care what kinda man I am.

RIP Emory Tate.

I care a lot about hair and I hate your personality and haircut. You're 0 for 0.

I hate him often, but I hate what he symbolises even more. Also his parents suck.



Your hair was long when we first met~


We grew up in the same town but came to very different conclusions about most things.

Women and children are still valuable when inept.

They retain an intrinsic value.

Inept men mean zero.

Absolutely valueless.

Only Professionals.

Only Ultra capable males matter.

The rest are depressed worker droids.

Matrix slaves.

#Motherless.

Lol people keep saying fatherless now online. So using this where applicable. Oh he had a mother in a literal sense. It didn't really work though because I don't think he had a feminine presence in his life and his dad kept telling him not to listen to his mum anyway (this is like the second story I've heard which ended in his dad doing something like this.) His dad was controlling and abusive and most importantly didn't care about his viewpoints at all which ultimately led to him trying to give people advice for a living and he hates how most people dislike him to the point of some kind of borderline psychosis thing, because he's been trying to get his approval ever since (that's the narcissism.)

When we got home, I complained to Mom that Dad was yelling at me for losing.

She said he was too hard on me.

They had a heated argument as he explained she's a female and doesn't understand the burden of performance.

"IF I WAS TOO TIRED TO PERFORM, THEY WOULD HAVE KILLED ME"

He was referencing a few months before when I watched him be attacked.

My mother told me I didn?t have to play chess anymore if Dad was going to upset me.

Dad took me out of the house for a week.

We stayed in a hotel away from my mother's influence.

He kept me up playing chess till the early hours. 2/3 am.

6 am school. Every night of the week.

When I was young I asked my dad who would win in a fight, him or Bruce Lee.

"He?s small son. I'd snap him"

But dad... I think Bruce...

*QUIET* dad roared and sipped his whiskey.

"This is a world of MEN.

You are a BOY.

A CHILD.

Nobody gives a [BEEP] what you think"

Thinking back, as with every single story I think back about my dad.

He was right.

Wtf do 5-year-olds know about combat?

Be the [BEEP] quiet.

Anyway the lack of femininity is a problem in certain environments:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3826207/

The media depiction of girls' aggression--as an anomalous violation of the feminine gender role--ignores the way that femininity is constructed differently in different cultural contexts. Female aggression is more prevalent in disorganized neighbourhoods with high levels of poverty and low social cohesion [5]. For families living in these neighbourhoods, the frequent absence of a consistent father figure means that mothers (and grandmothers) play a pivotal role. They are strong figures who must cope alone with daily stresses of subsistence living. Many mothers are themselves involved in fighting, especially in defence of their family's good name. Some become actively involved in their daughters fights also and, in doing so, become role models and allies [6]. Even when they do not go this far, mothers concern for their daughters welfare translates into tolerance (and sometimes encouragement) of fighting. Most mothers acknowledge that a girl needs to be able to 'stand her ground' and 'hold her own'. The strength and resilience of women (both mothers and daughters) is not seen as incongruent with femininity: indeed passivity is viewed as a weakness rather than an asset. As Irwin & Adler [7, p. 319] noted, 'Given the emphasis on female strength, girls lost respect for and even targeted other girls who fell short in fulfilling idealized notions of feminine resilience circulating in the local communities'.

If weakness makes a girl a target, an important benefit of willingness to fight is the avoidance of victimization. Girls' reports of their fights present aggression as a form of self-defence by emphasizing that their opponents 'started it'. In some cases, 'starting it' refers to a physical assault but more often to verbal taunts to which physical aggression is seen as the appropriate response.

Still cracks me up the only two tweets he's posted with the word daughter if you search:

Part One:

I believe that men have the sacred duty to raise kind feminine and virtuous daughters

Part Two:

My daughter got in trouble at nursery for hitting a little boy in the face with a toy car when he tried to hug her.

....

😏

Well nobody will be laughing if she's one of the ones who grows up to be Myra Hindley.

Not sure how so many people get sucked in. I know in Posie's case there's a culture war going on so perhaps people are just willing to overlook psychopathy and narcissism, but people like this are everywhere now with mass appeal.

Posie Parker/Kellie-Jay-Keen, 2013:

I really don't understand prejudice shown by some rad fems against trans women, it's really weird.

I guess part of it is that Western culture fetishises contrarianism. It's worst in the US.



Within everyone
A scale, a voice
Everyone but him
Core is black as pitch
Soul is out of tune
Advocate of none
Beware, belie his smile
Will cost you everything
Cloak and masquerade is contempt for everyone
Hello, hello, he lied

[Doseone]

Descartes was right with his cogito (I think therefore I am). You can doubt everything, but you cannot doubt the experience of doubting. But maybe instead of there being an evil demon deceiving me, I'm the evil demon deceiving myself. I'm formless awareness creating my own dream reality. A swami also brought up a good point about the cogito. During deep sleep, there are no thoughts. So does the "I am" cease to exist and pop back into being when we wake up? According to the Upanishads, we are still conscious during deep sleep, there are just no objects appearing to consciousness. It's an awareness of absence rather than an absence of awareness.

[Heelsbythebridge]

I like how my city is called the "Lower Mainland" instead of "greater Vancouver area" like they do in Toronto. I'm pleased that we are automatically recognized as the Main Land.

I could say "I'm from the Lower Mainland" to another Canadian and they'll know where I'm referring to.