How are you feeling?

[Cuchculan]

Junk food we all eat at times. It is allowed. I am sure it is not something you do all the time. I am on disability benefit too. No big deal there at all. It is there for those who need it. We need it for now. Sex life? Would say I haven't had one of them in years. But we have all done things in the past we would like to forget about. Been with one or two people I look back on now and wonder what I was thinking. But the past is the past for a reason. As for a job? I wouldn't know what a job is. On paper I have never worked. All cash in hand jobs. Way it was always done here in Ireland for years. Right now I have no job. Not much of a social life at all. Just how things are right now. Easy to beat ourselves up over all these things. But why bother? I simply leave the past behind and just accept my situation today. If it ever changes I will be ready for that too.

[L]

ashamed

Hugs, it's not a nice feeling. I hope it eases hun xx

[InvisibleGuy]

Sad, I'm really missing someone really badly lately. And just sad for the way things turned out. Really, really sad. There is no silver lining, there is no upside. No positives. It's just....the whole memory, the way the whole things ended is just very, very, very sad. There's nothing anyone can say to make it any better. Or make me feel any better. No one knows what to say, because, well, there is nothing really to say. It could not have ended any worse. It's like a nightmare I can't f-ing wake up from sometimes. I really miss her, so much.

And...sometimes, I'm really, really pissed off at her for leaving me and everyone else like she did. I don't have any words to describe all the f-ed up feelings I have, I really don't.

[fetisha]

Junk food we all eat at times. It is allowed. I am sure it is not something you do all the time. I am on disability benefit too. No big deal there at all. It is there for those who need it. We need it for now. Sex life? Would say I haven't had one of them in years. But we have all done things in the past we would like to forget about. Been with one or two people I look back on now and wonder what I was thinking. But the past is the past for a reason. As for a job? I wouldn't know what a job is. On paper I have never worked. All cash in hand jobs. Way it was always done here in Ireland for years. Right now I have no job. Not much of a social life at all. Just how things are right now. Easy to beat ourselves up over all these things. But why bother? I simply leave the past behind and just accept my situation today. If it ever changes I will be ready for that too.

Thanks for your help, I just need to stay away from who brag about people who talk all the great stuff they have life thats better than me and its so annoying.

[Cuchculan]

Thanks for your help, I just need to stay away from who brag about people who talk all the great stuff they have life thats better than me and its so annoying.

I know a lot of people who like to brag about what they have. Means feck all to me. They can all the money in the world and all the good looks on earth and still die tomorrow. Then it will all stand for nothing. What I have I am happy with. May be nothing to others. But to me it is my life. People on social media amuse me. Pictures of everything in their houses. Pictures of meals. Pass me the bucket. But I enjoy pissing them off with my comments. Saying how happy I am to have social media, because I have no windows in my fecken house and I would never know it was raining out if they had not mentioned it. Must be the most unfriended person on facebook. How I love it. LOL

[InvisibleGuy]

Anxious a.f. My boss and one of our biggest clients are touring my stores right now. It should go really well, I got the stores ready and they look awesome. My boss is happy. Just doesn't stop me from being anxious.

[fetisha]

I know a lot of people who like to brag about what they have. Means feck all to me. They can all the money in the world and all the good looks on earth and still die tomorrow. Then it will all stand for nothing. What I have I am happy with. May be nothing to others. But to me it is my life. People on social media amuse me. Pictures of everything in their houses. Pictures of meals. Pass me the bucket. But I enjoy pissing them off with my comments. Saying how happy I am to have social media, because I have no windows in my fecken house and I would never know it was raining out if they had not mentioned it. Must be the most unfriended person on facebook. How I love it. LOL

yeah, you are right, their life could be gone tomorrow. I just know a lot of people here in america look down on people who don't have a real job and gget money from the government and glad that new president will cut them off.

[Cuchculan]

They want the same done to people over here. Always talking about it on the radio. How people on social welfare get too much money for doing nothing. Then saying half those on disability should not be on it. Not like we are never examined to make sure we are for real. Last time I was checked up on I was in a Psych hospital. They could hardly claim I was faking it. It is always a big issue for debate over here too.

[Cuchculan]

I hate people like that, I been to the hospital six times and hated going every time, that is impossible to fake

keep that in mind. You are not a fake. You are genuine. Just let the big mouths keeps on talking. They have no idea what they are talking about.

[Cuchculan]

I have tried to fake being normal but my crazy side (schizoaffective disorder is what my doctor diagnose me with) comes out and scares people away and people expect me to just snap out of it with positive thinking or getting a job. I tried that it doesn't fucking work!

Been there too in the past. The amount of ignorant people out there who think we can simply just snap out of it. I tried work too. Years ago I could manage it. Five years back I was bad and gave it another go. What a nightmare. I simply couldn't do it. Give me a job in a room all alone and I might just be fine. But we all know those types of jobs don't exist. The job I lasted longest at was just me alone in a taxi base. Night work. Didn't have to interact with anybody in person. Just take phone calls and give addresses out to the drivers. How we all wish we could just simply get better. No wonder we don't tell people or want people to know anything about our conditions. If that is how they think. The stigma is still there. We remain silent for most of our lives.

[HypnoticTrance]

Like utter shit.

[InvisibleGuy]

Kind of amused lol. I was at a store yesterday, and turned away from my cart for literally 30 seconds, and someone stole my company issued tablet lol. They had to have been just waiting to take it. I checked with the front office and no one had turned it in. Walked the aisles and didn't see it. They were gone. But the joke is on them lol. I called the corporate office to report it, and am about to get a police report (we have to do that). And they know exactly where it is. They have an address. They told me what neighborhood it was in, but they won't give me the address, as they don't want some kind of confrontation lol.

Somebody's about to have a really, really bad day, and it's not me. Somebody's about to go to jail.

It's really not that big of a deal, after all is said and done. This actually happens a lot, and it's not gonna cost me anything, and they're gonna overnight me another tablet. I hope however many days in jail and whatever fine they get....I hope it was worth it. To get a tablet that you can't do anything with, without passwords. God some people lack so much in the intelligence dept it's scary.

[InvisibleGuy]

I feel so ill, and my head is pounding.

I hope you're feeling better TE (((hugs)))

[Koalafan]

Hmm...could use more coffee

[sweetful]

Bummed.