How are you feeling?

[Heelsbythebridge]

As low as I've felt when I was at my worst a few months ago. I just want to put a gun into my mouth.

[Ironman]

I feel absolutely horrible. I feel depressed and angry and insane and fat and ugly and I honestly think I'm turning into a psycho. I can't keep my anxiety or my emotions under control any longer. I'm going to lose it like I've never lost it before. I can already tell this is just the calm before the storm, and believe me, it's not very calm. I already had a major panic attack tonight- a full-blown crying and screaming and hyperventilating panic attack- and it's not doing me any good just to sit around the house and wait and wait to "recover" from my stupid surgery. Enough already. Going outside is not going to kill me, I'm not a vampire. I am going completely stir-crazy. I can't decide if I want to let myself go and start eating junk food again or if I want to starve myself. I can't decide if I want to go to sleep or just stay wide awake for days until I snap. Hell, I can't even decide right now if I like guys or girls. I'm losing my mind. I'm losing control. I'm losing any sense of self that I possibly had left. I'm just spiraling deeper and deeper into this black hole filled with depression and anger and hate. It's like a bottomless pit of self-destruction that never ends, just leaves me falling further and further until one day I hit the bottom and go completely psycho and find the point of no return. I feel like that's going to happen soon... God, just get me on the right meds and accelerate my treatment by a few months and make it summer already and I swear I'll be OK. I'm not going to be OK right now. I just want to scream and beg for someone to PLEASE HELP ME because I'm going insane.

Nope - that's a panic attack. You begin to question everything, the vicious cycle of thinking starts up, etc. If you think you are going nuts, you probably aren't. The key would be to focus on breathing, telling yourself it's okay and ride out the panic attack (or even go for a walk!).

[SmileyFace]

In a good mood at the moment.

[Keddy]

Nope - that's a panic attack. You begin to question everything, the vicious cycle of thinking starts up, etc. If you think you are going nuts, you probably aren't. The key would be to focus on breathing, telling yourself it's okay and ride out the panic attack (or even go for a walk!).

Thank you for your suggestions... I really mean that. Going for a walk is always really helpful for me
Thanks for recommending that! It worked! I felt nervous this morning and I walked 2+ miles and now I feel tired but much better.
I was feeling pretty horrible when I made that post, btw. Things are better now.

[IllusionOfHappiness]

Bitter. Jealous. Jealously bitter.

[Keddy]

Irritated with myself. I really could've gotten some exercise today, I've been walking a lot and I don't see any harm in it since I'm recovered now (and my doctors are still telling me not to go back to work or school...), I walked over 2 miles the other day which might have been a little too much. But I could've gone to the gym today and probably should have, so no wonder I'm gaining weight and it's pissing me off.

[Chantellabella]

I feel confused.


Very confused.

[Heelsbythebridge]

Proud and wistful.

Don't be sad it's over, be happy it happened

[SmileyFace]

Not feeling too great physically.

[Chantellabella]

I'm angry.

It's silly why I'm angry. I heard they finally hired somebody in my old job. I guess that stirred up anger and resentment again.

I love where I am. I love my new home and house.

So why am I angry?

I guess it still hurts the way they treated me.

Maybe I'm just still hurt.

Yeah.

I'm hurt.

[merc]

I'm just sick of winter. I don't know for some reason this winter was a bad one for me. Too much snow. Too much cold. Too many days with kids home form school. I'm going to try and get some outdoor time today. It is supposed to snow some more tomorrow not a lot but it will be back to being gray.

[Koalafan]

Mass Paranoia and insecure

[peace]

Just plain old sad.

[SmileyFace]

So fuckin annoyed.

[Inscrutable Banana]

*edit*

I need to stop dumping depressing ramblings into this thread.