The Awkward Conversationalist
LOL come with us next time Roman and I go clubbingIllusionOfHappiness
That sounds like a really cool job! I can't dance for shit, but I'll cream you in a head bobbing competition.
I also excel iiiin...
Foot tapping.
Slightly swaying back and forth.
And my personal favourite: pretending that I know the lyrics.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
killer of conversations
You will not be disappointed you invited me.LOL come with us next time Roman and I go clubbing
The Awkward Conversationalist
Yay!You will not be disappointed you invited me.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
Habitual Failure
I was so damn depressed yesterday, I was seriously considering ending my life. Instead, I woke up this morning, decided I wanted to keep trying, then tried to think of something constructive to do. My mother was planning on picking up a new mailbox for me to install for her because some asshole hit the last one, but I decided to drive to the hardware store, actually ask an employee where they were (that's really anxiety-provoking for me) and go pick it up and check out at the counter. Afterwards, I came home, assembled it and installed it. I guess I'm glad I didn't kill myself, hopefully life will work out somehow...?
The Awkward Conversationalist
I'm glad you're still here and I think you have a great attitude about this
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
The Awkward Conversationalist
Another awesome day at work. This new job is perfect.
LOL when I came in this morning some of the younger kids were like "Keddy Keddy Keddy!!!" and ran up to hug me. That makes me feel so good, they've only known me for a few days and are already attached
They're an age I can handle well, too. The majority of them are between nine and fifteen. The fifteen-year-olds were bad at first but they've warmed up to me. There's a kid named Tom who could be my clone LOL.
Some of the choreography is still a train wreck but I'm learning from the other teacher how to handle this with them. They respond really well to my feedback. They take my suggestions and then they try really hard and it makes me feel great to see that.
Today one of the girls was like "You're really handsome" (in a little kid way, not a creepy way LOL) and they all agreed with her LOL and I was just like "Aww." I finally got one of the younger boys to stop calling me Mr. O'Connell (I was like "First names please!" LOL)
They were trying to guess how old I was and one of the kids said "Thirty-two" and another said "Twenty-seven" and I was like "No! I'm twenty-one!" because I turn twenty-one in a few weeks. Kids LOL.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
Habitual Failure
Thanks, congratulations on the new job BTW, I'm glad it's going so well.I'm glad you're still here and I think you have a great attitude about this
The Awkward Conversationalist
Thank you!
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
killer of conversations
Nice to see you're continuing to make positive choices. You're stronger than you think.
killer of conversations
Made my sister yet another birthday cake.
My mother was supposed to make it but didn't have time. No big deal for me - I love baking.
I worked my [BEEP] off soooo hard the past two days. I did more work in two days than the previous two guys did in three weeks. It's insane how badly people can do a very simple job.
After moving 240 full-sized PCs four times or more up and down shelves, and palletizing 150 of them, my body is soooore. Feels good though, been a while since I worked that hard physically.
killer of conversations
Just got back from a 40min or so walk. Took advantage of the last daylight hour of the day. Kept a pretty fast, steady pace the whole time. There was a nice cool breeze and I hardly saw anybody, which is great. I think I'll follow the same route next time since it was a nice mixture of uphill and downhill. I still have a ton of steam to let off and could probably go for about five more of those power walks lol, but I think that's enough for today. This morning I managed some ab exercises - those didn't cause me any pain. Butt/thigh stuff did though, so I had to stop immediately. Threw a teensy tiny amount of calf exercises in there, just trying to gage how much I could handle. Not bad. Not bad at all. I lost all the progress I made due to 475973 setbacks, so my motivation is through the roof.
Oh, and I tried SweatBlock on my back. Much to my surprise...I noticed a difference. I should try Drysol on my back too. My whole entire back. That would be ridiculously helpful if I didn't have to worry about that anymore. It's just such a large area. Worth a shot though, especially if it's too irritating for under my arms. Hrmm.
The Awkward Conversationalist
Realizing that I'm now officially able to refer to Roman as my fiance
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
killer of conversations
Congratulations!Realizing that I'm now officially able to refer to Roman as my fiance
Habitual Failure
Not only did I go to the grocery store on my own again today, I also went to get my oil changed in my car and had the tires rotated. I've never done that before, my mother would always take my car in and I always felt so damn useless when she did. I was okay there, I spoke a little bit to the woman who worked there, I felt kind of awkward because I didn't follow her quickly when she was trying to show me how horrible my tires are and she told me to come around behind the counter so she could show me an estimate for new tires. She told me "come on around, don't be afraid" and I felt like an idiot and started to think about how I'd never be normal and never be able to function etc, but I'm getting over those thoughts now and just accepting what I did as a win. It's really brutal, but I HAVE to keep pushing myself into these situations and overcoming them. A week ago, there's NO WAY I would have done this, so I'm improving. Just two months ago I wasn't going anywhere, then I started going to the grocery store with my mother, which made me feel a little worse because I feel worthless when I need her company, but now I'm insisting on doing these things alone, so I think the improvement is definitely pretty large. I actually feel optimistic right now, which is a foreign feeling to me and I don't really know how to handle it, it's making me nervous, but I'm going to accept this positive feeling instead of retreating back into isolation. I'm still crazy as hell, but I really do see some improvement and I'm going to keep moving forward with my life. I can have a good life, I don't have to be lonely, miserable and suicidal anymore, I never had to be, I made myself that way and I can change it.
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