Post something you want to tell someone but are too afraid to say

[IllusionOfHappiness]

Y'all straight up sound like children when you "argue". And speaking of which, I'm glad you don't have any children (or pets, as far as I know). They'd be doomed. Do you even know what you fight about half the time? Because I don't, and I hear it loud and clear over here. Lots of "he said, she said, you started it, you always do this, if you don't like it then leave *expletive expletive expletive*". Uhm yes, please do! Both of you, leave. The neighbourhood aint top notch but we're not the hood. Get the [BEEP] out. This isn't the place for your kind.

*drops mic*

[Chantellabella]

Are you guilty? Tell me the truth.

If you are, I'm sorry that you have to live the consequences. But unfortunately that's what comes with making big mistakes.

If you're not, then I hope you can fix your way out.

Either way, I will still love you.

I wish this was just a nightmare and not reality

[Chantellabella]

Really God??? Really????

You set up this no-win situation where I have to put saving my son, against following my counseling license, and protecting children?????

Is this fun for you? Do you enjoy these kinds of tests?

Well, I fail. I fail it. I am not as good as Job. I'm not. You have the power. Do something!!!!!!!

Your solutions lately seems to be more and more heartache. Where's that Christmas miracle thing? Where's that almighty powerful thing? This is your plan? Really?

I'm so tired of heartache. I'm tired of this much hurt. Is this your punishment for me? Is this your way of doing it. Oh, I know I'll hurt her son and that will punish her. And to top it off, I'll throw in her moral obligation to protect children, and her legal obligation as a counselor.

I can just imagine you sitting on your couch laughing at me now. I don't see mercy. I truly don't. All I see is you not helping my son one bit.

Just flat out tell me what you want me to do. What am I supposed to do??????? I don't know the answer. Am I suppose to praise your wisdom? I did in the beginning. Remember? But I'm human. And he's my son. And he's hurting.

I get it that you gave your son to death so that sinners who weren't remorseful could go to heaven. I get that and I see how amazing that is. And I know it hurt you as much as it's hurting me right now to see my child suffer.

I just don't understand why you think I can endure this. How can I stay faithful to you when my heart is broken? Is that the test? Stay faithful no matter how I torture your son?

I get it. In heaven, time is different and I'll die, my son will die and then we will all be in heaven together not even remembering this. I get it.

But why aren't you going after the guy who actually hurt the child and hurt my child. Because that person used my son's illness against him. Used it to lure him in. Go after him. My son is sick. He needs a trauma therapist. Not the therapist who turned him in. I'll bet he or she is proud of themselves for "doing the right thing."

Did it save a child? Really? Don't you see how fucked up this world is God? And yet you want me to have faith that it's the best plan ever. You want me to stand by your decision.

I'm not that good. I'm a failure in your test.

Because my son is hurting. And you aren't listening to that.

[Koalafan]

Really God??? Really????

You set up this no-win situation where I have to put saving my son, against following my counseling license, and protecting children?????

Is this fun for you? Do you enjoy these kinds of tests?

Well, I fail. I fail it. I am not as good as Job. I'm not. You have the power. Do something!!!!!!!

Your solutions lately seems to be more and more heartache. Where's that Christmas miracle thing? Where's that almighty powerful thing? This is your plan? Really?

I'm so tired of heartache. I'm tired of this much hurt. Is this your punishment for me? Is this your way of doing it. Oh, I know I'll hurt her son and that will punish her. And to top it off, I'll throw in her moral obligation to protect children, and her legal obligation as a counselor.

I can just imagine you sitting on your couch laughing at me now. I don't see mercy. I truly don't. All I see is you not helping my son one bit.

Just flat out tell me what you want me to do. What am I supposed to do??????? I don't know the answer. Am I suppose to praise your wisdom? I did in the beginning. Remember? But I'm human. And he's my son. And he's hurting.

I get it that you gave your son to death so that sinners who weren't remorseful could go to heaven. I get that and I see how amazing that is. And I know it hurt you as much as it's hurting me right now to see my child suffer.

I just don't understand why you think I can endure this. How can I stay faithful to you when my heart is broken? Is that the test? Stay faithful no matter how I torture your son?

I get it. In heaven, time is different and I'll die, my son will die and then we will all be in heaven together not even remembering this. I get it.

But why aren't you going after the guy who actually hurt the child and hurt my child. Because that person used my son's illness against him. Used it to lure him in. Go after him. My son is sick. He needs a trauma therapist. Not the therapist who turned him in. I'll bet he or she is proud of themselves for "doing the right thing."

Did it save a child? Really? Don't you see how fucked up this world is God? And yet you want me to have faith that it's the best plan ever. You want me to stand by your decision.

I'm not that good. I'm a failure in your test.

Because my son is hurting. And you aren't listening to that.

Sending the biggest most squeezable koala hug possible <3

[Otherside]

Can I add several somebodies to this?

Fuck. Off.

[Chantellabella]

Sending the biggest most squeezable koala hug possible <3

Thank you, my friend. I needed that big time.

edit:
Today I got an answer to my rant

https://anxietyspace.com/forums/show...ng-God-s-voice

[FireIsTheCleanser]

I like like you. Or maybe it's just a crush. I'm fine with the way things are and I'm not expecting anything to happen but it's hard not to feel like that when you're saying all these things to me. I just hope you mean it and it's not something you say often.

[Chantellabella]

I hate you Satan!!!!!!!

I hate what you do to people. I hate that you tempt people.
That you tear families apart
I hate that you whisper things to my son that made him think there was something wrong with him
I hate that you bring porn to people's lives
I hate that you bring your evil into this world
That you make people hate each other
When the one who should be hated is YOU!!!!!!
You are what's wrong in this world.
You prey on weak people
You prey on the innocent
You destroy lives!!!
I hate you, Satan!!!!​

[IllusionOfHappiness]

I never really addressed how I felt when you unloaded all that crap on me in December. Honestly, there's just too much to say, and one of the smartest things I've ever done has been to avoid getting into fights with you. You'll be in my life until one of us croaks, and any disagreement with you simply isn't win-able. It's better for me just to try to move on from it, as much as that sucks for me. You can't see the other side. All you see is your bias. You talked AT me, and when I spoke you had your ears shut waiting for your turn to preach again. You talked down to me like a child. You made me feel so small. I hated that, and in that moment I instantly resented you. I lost respect for you, because I felt you didn't have it for me. I thought we had this connection because we've both experienced similar things anxiety-wise. I thought we bonded over it. It was heartbreaking to realize that you're back to pretending things aren't bad with you too. I talked in-depth with a close friend about why you might say the things that you said, trying to understand your reasoning behind it. Especially your timing dude, wow. Haha. Just wow.

Your hypocrisy, ignorance, and blatant disregard for my feelings weren't forgotten just because it was the holiday season. I know I can't reason with you, and so I don't try to. But next time you want to come at me with some bs about how you know what's better for me, I can't stay silent. You hurt me. And you outed me to an in-law? Really, if you were in my position, how would you feel if I did that to you? How would that make you feel? I would *never* do that to you. Even now. I would still never do that. You can trust me with your secrets, but I don't think I can trust you with mine. Not anymore. Her name's just another trigger word to me now. One more person to avoid. Thank you for giving me something else to be paranoid about. I'm problem-free until I decide to tell people otherwise, and this gives me hope of seeming halfway normal around people. I don't get to have that freedom around (let's call her S) anymore. S already knows. Thanks to you.

In a way, it was a positive thing. Lately I'd been missing hanging out like we would when we were younger. I'd forgotten how controlling you were. I don't long for those moments anymore. I can let go of the childish nostalgia.

For a long time I felt like I was overreacting, but I felt betrayed by you. That's major. I just thought you had a vastly different opinion of me and respected boundaries.

[Otherside]

If you ask me one more time "well can't you just give me your code" I swear to god, I will punch you. I am not usually prone to violence, but for fucks sake-

DO YOUR OWN FUCKING WORK YOI ARE 22 FOR FUCKS SAKE GROW THE [BEEP] UP AND GET A FUCKING grip

No wonder you're resitting the year if you can't be bothered to work it out yourself and just try and get others to do stuff for you. Well, Ive spent a long time in that work. Not handing it to you.

[Nyctophilia]

I miss talking to you. I had a short dream just before I woke up earlier where you messaged me. I guess it probably hasn't been that long really, I've just gotten used to speaking to you more regularly and it seems like we talk increasingly less now, and I wonder why. I feel like I've put you off I guess. I am such a mess these days, that it seems like the most likely reason. I wish I could get my [BEEP] together... I wish it didn't bother me this much either, I don't get why I become so attached to certain people when most of the time I'm terribly apathetic.

[IllusionOfHappiness]

You want to hang out now. Some time has passed, and my anger (etc.) has faded with that time. As long as you don't bring it up again, I'm good. So I really hope your invitation for Tuesday isn't disguised as another lecture. I'm thinking not, but I could also be wrong. I never know now. Every time you want to see me I'll think you have ulterior motives. I fucking hate that. :/

Can't we just spend quality time together, or has that ship sailed. I want us to be equals. I don't want you to see me as the black sheep of the family who needs help. I'm doing what I can. I do not need your assistance. I do appreciate that you probably mean well, but it doesn't come off that way and I wish you could see it.

[L]

Sorry I'm boring...

[Chantellabella]

I am sick and tired of all the games.

Can the world just be mature for once?


Anybody? Is there anybody out there who is mature? And who doesn't play games?


Oh and just for the record, getting less of a raise than the goof off is really ridiculous. What? Did I not waste enough time reading Facebook, reading, and gossiping like she does to warrant a bigger raise? Really? She got a bigger raise. For what? Stealing my work? Really, I want to know. I really want to know.

[Chantellabella]

You're kidding me, right? I clean my desk and that upsets you? Are you fucking kidding me? I am surrounded by idiots.