This life sucks

[Chantellabella]

Sorry, only just seen this. I don't know why the earth is so damned hard. And I don't know why people can be horrible. And perhaps you should just say "Fuck you bitch". Perphaps they deserve it, anyways.

Anyways Hugs.

Wanna knowing the frustrating part? Even on my last day there, I can't say "fuck you bitch." Why? Because this world is one big bureaucratic hell hole, with clueless idiots in charge. That statement would be the only thing the city remembers about me and would use it against me. They have selective memory and only see what they want to see (translated into..............does it inconvenience me? If it does then it's important. If it only hurts the "underlings" well, so what).

I am sick and tired of guilty people getting away with hurting me. That therapist who screwed me up the first time, lives high on the hog in Hawaii. She was never prosecuted because the window to do it is long gone. But I didn't even remember what the [BEEP] that woman did until the time frame ended. That therapist who had his dick all over me just got a slap on the wrist because it was a he said/she said. What could I do to my brothers? They were abused by my uncle so why would I even go after them for abusing me? My father is dead. My mother is sorry, but she's not even sure what's she's sorry for because she doesn't remember 99% of it. She has untreated DID. The people on the street are long gone. No apologies from them.

So now I get to take one more "screw you!" from the world. Is it my fault? Oh, I'm sure it is. That's why I have to sell my house, put down my cats and go work at McDonald's with 2 Masters degrees. It's all my fucking fault.

I give the world so much pleasure in abusing and using me. I'm so glad I can be of so much help to you, world.

Yes, I have truly helped children and teens in my years. Those are my rewards.

It's the users, abusers, bullies, and general assholes that want to use me that pisses me off. I'm not taking any more responsibility for other people's bad behavior. Screw that.

[Otherside]

Wanna knowing the frustrating part? Even on my last day there, I can't say "fuck you bitch." Why? Because this world is one big bureaucratic hell hole, with clueless idiots in charge. That statement would be the only thing the city remembers about me and would use it against me. They have selective memory and only see what they want to see (translated into..............does it inconvenience me? If it does then it's important. If it only hurts the "underlings" well, so what).

I am sick and tired of guilty people getting away with hurting me. That therapist who screwed me up the first time, lives high on the hog in Hawaii. She was never prosecuted because the window to do it is long gone. But I didn't even remember what the [BEEP] that woman did until the time frame ended. That therapist who had his dick all over me just got a slap on the wrist because it was a he said/she said. What could I do to my brothers? They were abused by my uncle so why would I even go after them for abusing me? My father is dead. My mother is sorry, but she's not even sure what's she's sorry for because she doesn't remember 99% of it. She has untreated DID. The people on the street are long gone. No apologies from them.

So now I get to take one more "screw you!" from the world. Is it my fault? Oh, I'm sure it is. That's why I have to sell my house, put down my cats and go work at McDonald's with 2 Masters degrees. It's all my fucking fault.

I give the world so much pleasure in abusing and using me. I'm so glad I can be of so much help to you, world.

Yes, I have truly helped children and teens in my years. Those are my rewards.

It's the users, abusers, bullies, and general assholes that want to use me that pisses me off. I'm not taking any more responsibility for other people's bad behavior. Screw that.

I don't know what to say to you, friend. I've never been through anything like you have. But I'm sorry that it did. Nobody deserves to go through what you and people like went through, and the world is indeed, an unfair place that this happens and that people can get away with it. But there is good here. As hard as it may seem, there is the good as well as the bad. I may not be able to relate to what you're saying but...if you need to vent, rant, talk, whatever, my inbox is open. Feel free to PM me.