Can someone give me advice on how to deal with the problem I encountered?
It occurred during my summer vacation; my oasis of peace; free from my lousy Christian secondary school (high school), college that I was going into for the first time, and free from Social Anxiety Support (I left that site because of how insane I had become; I'm really mentally ill; I hallucinate. As a result, people hated me there. I still suck).
Unfortunately, my summer had its downs. One of them being that alpha male. You see, I was walking back home from my local library; I like reading books because literature can entertain and educate you. So when I made it near the stop, a car was near. In this car, there were older men. The alpha male was the driver. He looked buff, and since others were in the car with him; this indicated that he was social and outgoing. So he looked at me. He said to me cruelly. "What a [BEEP]!" Then he drove off.
When people are in cars, it is easier for them to mock those in the streets. They can just get quickly from the person they insulted.
What an asshole! Stupid alpha male! I never did anything wrong to him. I was just a normal person walking. It's not like I made fun of him or anything. The prick!
His insult can make me feel insecure about my own appearance. Am I ugly? Do people think I'm ugly? Ugly, hah! Beauty is just an illusion. It is constructed by human beings. Still, I don't want people to mock my appearance. I just want to be left alone by humans. I'm a hermit now; I must be a hermit because solitude gives me freedom, peace, focus on my writing, intelligence, and the ability to think critically. People make me suffer.
Even today, there this possibility that this girl in my college may have made fun of me when I was walking past her.
I shouldn't care what people like that dumb brutish alpha male think of me. But it's so hard when people insult you. I'm very sensitive. When I'm made fun off, I just want to leave. No go away. To be somewhere safe. Because I don't belong with people who hate me. It's better that I am alone where I will be safe and in peace.
Well, there is something good that did occur. You see, I read books at my local library. I'm a writer. I'm at my college learning to be a better drawer. I want to write and draw comic books. What about that alpha male, hmm? He must be stupid. He must be a real hedonist; drinking lots of alcohol, having loveless sex, caring about being rich, not thinking critically, not concerned about world events like the National Defense Authorization Act and the Russian proposal for Syria to give up its chemical events so that the U.S. doesn't invade it (Saudi-supported Syrian rebels may have caused the chemical attack in Syria).
I've had this happen before in the past while out running. Like you said, it's easy to talk [BEEP] when you're protected in a 2 ton vehicle and your target is on foot, alone. I'm guessing he wouldn't have said that if you were standing next to him on line at an airport or something. Don't take it personally. He probably would've said that to anyone who was in your position at that time.
It's pathetic that some people get their kicks by insulting foot pedestrians from the windows of their moving cars. No matter what you think of yourself, be proud that you're not the guy who has to take cowardly cheap shots at strangers to get a laugh out of his buddies.
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