so ive been with the college counselor for 6 sessions, each of those sessions really let me think about thinks and learn possible causes to my panic attacks, i was advised to do breathing exercises as a help to stop me panicking and again that worked, im now able to at times predict and prevent them. however this was only short term counselling sessions. she then offered to write me a referal letter and send it to my GP which had a year long waiting list so i said yes if you could thinking that there could be further improvement. i went and met the doctor (the same one who prescribed the propranolol which had some effects but didn't stop the panic or make them much more bearable).
since the doctors received the letter they advised me to come in and speak with them and discuss a course of action. i thought okay they either want to hear more or talk to me about counselling. so after arriving home at 420 i got ready and set off for my appointment at 440. i waited 10 minutes didnt bother me. what did bother me that the whole point of me going was to find out the counselling sessions which had a year long waiting list were again. only short term (not at all long term which i needed and was told that my GP provided) i was then told i was too young for anti-depressants (thats okay i said last time that i dont want to go on them as im not depressed and after seeing how my beta blockers make my attacks worse for me at times i didnt want to medicate). i was then told i could be referred to a child and adolescent clinic (since im only 18 and they may be able to see me sooner than the other ones which she didnt talk about) which can do long term. so i've been referred to be referred to somewhere else which may or may not take me and which may or may not get in touch with me after ive been refereed through. what the actual f%$#. is there seriously no long term counselling out there for an 18 year old girl thats been panicking for 3 years now ?!? what makes it even better though the doctor i went in to go see made me feel compleatly uncomfortable (more so than doctors normally do) and i could tell she wasnt comfortable at all with discussing panic attack. so p@~# off right not dont know weather to cry or scream almost seems compleatly hopeless like im never leaving this cycle of fear and anxiety that has seem to become my life...