Hey everyone...I'm Evie, and...well...there's a lot "wrong" with me...
I guess I should start off the story (if you want to call it that) with the first thing that started. I had really bad anger issues, and very bad mood swings...Still to this day, my depression can be VERY out of hand. I was also suffering from visual and auditory hallucinations. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder and Psychosis in 8th grade. I was taken out of public school in 9th grade, and home-schooled.
In 10th grade, I returned to my old school, but only for a few months. I started to get very freaked out of being in classrooms with all the people. I felt like the teachers and the other students were all watching me, judging me. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I remember one incident in particular. It was 1st period, art class, and there was a substitute teacher. My regular teacher understood relatively well that I wasn't handling things well, and would let me leave to go talk to the counselor, who seemed to be my only friend there. I asked the teacher if I could leave to go to the counselor, and she said no. I started to freak out. Not like, in a physical way. But my mind was going crazy. I started to silently cry, and tried to pay attention to the project, but I couldn't. I asked her again, and she let me go that time. But when I got to the office, she wasn't there. She had a meeting that morning. And I knew that the other counselor would be away too. I started to freak out even more, and went into the bathroom and just started to bawl. I couldn't stop shaking. There was also another incident, where I wasn't in the building for more than 20 minutes, and they had already called my dad to come get me. I wasn't even feeling that bad that day. I was soon diagnosed with social anxiety and panic attacks.
After being in public school for that little bit of time again, I was once again taken out and put in a different online school. Luckily with that school, I was able to finish high school a year early. (I was 16 when I graduated.) It's the only thing I can say I've accomplished.
Recently, more things have started to happen. I had a suicide attempt quite a few months ago, and then about 2 months ago, I started to have seizures. I was diagnosed with epilepsy, and had to be rushed to the hospital one night after having roughly 14 seizures.
I also have an extreme phobia of heights, closed spaces, elevators, and clowns...(That last one sounds so stupid, but I can't help it)
So...that's about it, really. I've been kind of cooped up in my house for the past 2 years now. I don't like to get out, because I feel like people will see how ugly or idiotic I am, and will start to talk about me, or even talk to me. I can't stand it. But I long for interaction. I just can't bring myself to it.
Hope I get to meet some people who can help though.thanks
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Aella
I'm Cal and FWIW I know social anxiety and panic attacks pretty well myself and I feel like this place helps a lot. There are a lot of wonderful, supportive people here.
