judgement?

[peanut butter jelly time]

Okay so one time these guys I knew use to pick on me all the time. One day they told me that girls wouldn't like me and that I was too ugly for love; even though my family says that I'm handsome. I was the only guy in my class who had a full head of black hair so the guys use to always torment me by calling me a girl. They told me girl wouldn't like my hair and that I needed to dye it blonde or blue but I didn't do because I liked my hair so then they kept tormenting me.

I'm a little big so then the guys would always call me fat and teased me about that. I don't think I'm fat, I'm 6ft-3 and I'm bid but not obese; I mean I don't have a double chin or huge legs.
Then they would torment me about getting girls and saying that I'm too ugly for love and girls wouldn't like me because girls don't date girls.

I didn't go to any dances or proms at our school because I knew the guys would be there and that they would torment me; one time they said that if I went they would follow me around and tell everyone there that I was gay. Which I'm not.

I don't think that badly of myself because I'm really nice and funny to be around and also because of what I went through I found that I'm really compassionate; I would never treat anyone else like that.

But now thanks to the guys, I'm a little self concious about dating because I'm afraid that everyone will view me like they did. Do they guys really think of me as their friend or is something wrong with them; are they jealous? I'm really a good guy?

[Stranger]

I was a magnet for bullies all throughout my school years---my school years were not happy. I came to believe I was ugly and fat (which, to be fair, I kinda am), but it affected my life. as I'm sure I posted before, I am now middle-aged--not gay but never married--too shy to look for love anymore, especially after some humiliating experiences when I did.

Being bullied stays with you all your life---as for the bullies, they may not be bullies anymore, but they likely look back on their school years with "Remember all those dorks we went to school with?", not realizing one of those dorks may be someone you see at work everyday.

[Otherside]

I was a magnet as well for bullies. As hard as it is, remember what was said to you in school was irrelevant, and high schoolers generally have some warped view of reality and life that is different from what it really is.

I can;t say why they picked you. Maybe it was jealousy, maybe you just did something that ticked one of them off one day and that could have been as simple as answering a question in a class correctly that they did not know the answer too.

I used to be like you, afraid of dating. But I met someone recently who seems to like me for the way I am, and doesn't view me as the people back in high school did. And as cheesey and cliche'y out of a bad romance movie as this sounds - there will be someone out there,

[merc]

When you get older I think in regards to self you can see things differently. I've seen my daughter's friends in fifth grade would tease an extremely pretty girl about being "Scar Face" She has a scar that I never really saw. She is a very pretty girl and I, "a grown up" can clearly see the jealousy of these girls.

I'm not a size 0 to 2. In high school I was a very athletic size 10. I always felt humongous compared to my tiny 5', 98 pound sisters. They capitalized on this. I've always felt big. Now, I am a little heavy but look back at pictures and I'm not really a humongous freak. It's really hard when all you hear is the negative things about you.

It's something I struggle with. I don't really feel comfortable around good looking people I tend to assume they are jerks or wouldn't want to know me. I work on it.
I once met a girl in college who kind of resembled Christy Brinkly, in her youth. She was from one of those strange religious groups where women wear dresses all the time and don't cut their hair. She was very lonely and didn't fit in because of how she looked and her religious beliefs. Girls weren't friendly, intimidated by her looks. Guys were very friendly, but also intimidated by the religion it was some kind of Amish or Mennonite which because it is Pa I'm a little familiar with.