Do you feel you are always continually being degraded, demoralized, put-down, criticized, condemned, ridiculed and personally attacked for your own opinions, symptoms, beliefs, values, etc.. . .and then being constantly blamed for it?
It appears as if you are always wrong and the other person is always right? You have absolutely no chance to state how you feel because if you do it will always be your fault and you will always be wrong and then be blamed for it?
Habitual Failure
I used to be before my parents were divorced and I lived with both of them. My father did that, constantly. I remember burning out at jobs I had because of my panic attacks while working and he would completely lose his mind. At first I tried to explain myself and my symptoms, but he wasn't having it. To him, I was an exaggerator or a plain liar and I was just too lazy to work. Eventually I managed to get a job and it was awful, it was toxic in every way, toxic because of the dangerous chemicals there and toxic because the other people working there were just plain awful to each other. I decided to just accept it so I drank and took pills so I wouldn't have panic attacks while on the job.
I'm going to stop typing my complaints because I'm getting off topic I think, I'm really confused and sick right now, sorry I ruined your thread.
I used to feel that way. But then I realized there will always be haters.
If they have problems, there's something going on with them. Not you.
The Awkward Conversationalist
Yes
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
I kind of grew up feeling that I wasn't as smart or good as my siblings in so many ways so I understand what you say. Although I can now see that it wasn't the truth, the damage has been done. Ok. I can list this: I was of average intelligence, several siblings were in the gifted IQ range. I was a solid B student with a few A's here and there as well as the occasional C. I'm not a petite size 0 or 2, but at that point a size 10 ooh! the gigantic fat girl!!!
I feel bad for actual fat kids. I had severe disfiguring acne. I only had one or two friends. I can remember even recently feeling put down by my siblings for not having as good as a job as them. I'm about 20 pounds heavier than I should be. So therefore, I'm sp fat!!! However, most of my siblings are probably about a size 10 now and I'm a 14 well, we both are two sizes bigger!!!
I am, at times, overly sensitive to others critique but I've gotten better about it. Although, it is frustrating attempting to reason with obtuse persons, enough where I'd rather avoid them all-together. And, personally, some who challenge my views are amusing but I fall short when it comes to supporting my opinions and values.. which I need to work on. I've slowly gotten over the fear of debate, and the fear of speaking my mind, but anxiety does hinder me too often, mostly for fear of ridicule or coming across as illogical.
I know I think differently to other people, I can have a teacher say something and it confuses the heck out of me and then my friend of 8 years can say what that person said every so slightly different and it's one of those "oh why didn't you say so" moments
I did get put down for a lot of things that I said on a daily basis when I got bullied which was the past 7 years. I'd have people tell me to shut up before I'd finished opening my mouth and taking a breath in, but because of how I am I never stopped contributing to lessons listening to the teachers and learning was too appealing
I have a lot of different and odd opinions and saying those use to be a one way street for arguments and put downs. I remember the teacher saying share your opinion on death sentencing once, everyone said bring death sentencing back. I said no remind people what they did daily, have hate mail go through, don't let them kill themselves etc etc
I had an entire class shouting abuse at me and the teacher did nothing. I was told to be quiet, that's stupid, your wrong anything you can think of.
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