Not liking the internship; already started my serious search of other opportunities

[SmileyFace]

Tired this morning. Don't want to go to work (gotta leave in 15 mins or so). I don't even know anymore if I truly like this temporary job (internship) or not. I liked it just fine the past 2-3 weeks... then this last week, I just went back to dreading it... even more so today.

Now, even when I did like the job, deep down I still felt a little eh. I want the job only for the money, and now I see how that can be stressful. I want a job more interesting, but traditional journalism (aka writing for newspapers/magazines) jobs for entry level people come with an average salary of $35,000. If I get this job full-time (which isn't traditional journalism), it's a starting salary of at least $50,000.

That is some goodass money. I want that LOL... but this job is so so so so boring. It's awful. I guess many people would want a boring, simple job and be paid good money for it... but I believe I'll feel very miserable having this job FT, despite being paid good money.

I've started seriously looking at job postings again, and it's done nothing but remind me of how hard it is to land a job. Not a lot of the jobs posted interest me. Or... my anxiety kicks in, and I'd feel like I'd fail at whatever they have me do. Not a good way to think about things. It's as if an easy job is the way to go with me, but now that I'm doing easy work... I want a challenge. But challenges make me freak out a bit, with me thinking I'll mess up big time along the way... that it'll be too hard, etc.

*sigh* I did find 2 jobs that seemed like something I could totally do. It's a lot more challenging than what I am doing right now (and it's traditional journalism), but they both seem actually doable.

I don't know anymore. I feel like... if I don't get the FT position here, I won't care much. But the pain of job searches is what I want to avoid. And if I don't get it, I'll feel like I let everyone down. I'm scared to tell people closest to me that I'm just not happy at this internship.

[Chantellabella]

If you can hold out with this job to get experience, you'll find that it will get less boring because you will make it so. I've had numerous jobs and careers over the years. They start out boring because you're learning the basic stuff only. Your place of business also doesn't want to give you anything too important yet until they get to know you. In other words, they don't trust you. So maybe have some patience for a bit, learn the trade and get some cred with the bosses.

Once you have established yourself, a few months from now, start suggesting ideas that you can do. Or show them some of the things you can do. If you have earned their trust, they will let you experiment or do at least one cool thing. Again, you are showing them what you can do, so it's like an interview all over again.

Remember that there are people who have been doing this business for ages. They like their status and they don't like the newbie. It happens with every job. It's not like they don't personally like you. It's just that you're a threat to their status quo. You have to find your niche, plus they need to allow you in.

Think of your workplace as a family. When a new baby is born, the older siblings are a tad resistant. They want to know they are still loved and they dang sure don't want new baby getting all the attention. So they are wary until they find out that nothing will be taken away from them.

The best strategy to not step on toes at a new place is to lay low, listen, be uber friendly, and be willing to learn rather than more willing to show them what you can do. That will come in time.

[Heelsbythebridge]

Your happiness is more important than what anyone in your life thinks of you. That's probably the only thing that concerns me... At this point in your life, make decisions that are best for you. You'll have plenty time the rest of your life to put others as your priority, kids or aging parents perhaps, but now is (probably, from what I know of you) not that time

That said, I hope you'll do your best and pull through with this internship. In addition to what Cindy said, it's easier to get a more favourable job once you're already employed especially with it being in your field- you'd be putting yourself in a really good position for your career. Think of it as giving yourself the opportunity to find a whole bunch of other better opportunities.

But again, do what's best for you, and what will make you happy. We believe in you either way

[SmileyFace]

Sorry for the delayed response... I've been so focused on trying to figure out what I really want to do in terms of this internship and what happens after.

You are right, chantella. It's boring when you make it so. I've been trying to have a more positive view about my internship, trying to weigh the good and the bad... and there is more good to this place than bad. There are some things I do that are a bit boring, but I know it could be worse. I've noticed the people I work under are gradually introducing me to tools they use that I never got to use before... and I notice they are trying to get me to ask more questions and for help more often since I hardly did so before. I just went in... acted like I know what I'm doing, or at least try to do my best.. then leave. But I suppose they've noticed since there are mistakes that keep coming up for the same things, they were like 'Hey, it really is okay to ask for help.'

I wish I had asked for help more often the past 2 months... I know that's what good interns do. So a part of me is freaking out a bit like.. man, me barely doing this now will probably hurt my chances of getting the FT job or something! But there's nothing else I can do about it but to continue asking more Q's and just engage in conversations with people more.

I do miss doing traditional journalism though But if I get a job here, I'll be pretty well-off compared to if I worked for a newspaper right now. And plus, I'll always have the option to freelance for newspapers for a little extra money on the side as well if I wanted to at least stay a bit involved in traditional journalism.

So... I think I've found this 'happy balance' here, because I do want to be happy as well, like inane said. So here's to hoping that I get the FT job. I really hope I get it... and if not, well then.. I'll try to be more positive about looking for work again.

*sigh* joy of being an adult.

Thanks inane and chantellabella. I appreciate the responses.

[SmileyFace]

Happy to announce I got the full time job. I'm glad I went forth with chantellabella's advice. Again, thanks

[QuietCalamity]

Happy to announce I got the full time job. I'm glad I went forth with chantellabella's advice. Again, thanks

Congrats!!

[Chantellabella]

Happy to announce I got the full time job. I'm glad I went forth with chantellabella's advice. Again, thanks

Yay! Congratulations!

Egad though! I gave you advice???!! I spent my entire counseling graduate school learning how to not give people advice. I learned to say "and what do you think."

I must be slipping.

But I'm so proud of you!

[SmileyFace]

Congrats!!

Thanks!

Yay! Congratulations!

Egad though! I gave you advice???!! I spent my entire counseling graduate school learning how to not give people advice. I learned to say "and what do you think."

I must be slipping.

But I'm so proud of you!

lol subconsciously giving advice, maybe? Thanks!

[Koalafan]

Happy to announce I got the full time job. I'm glad I went forth with chantellabella's advice. Again, thanks

Soooo glad to hear that Smiley!!!!! That's awesome!!

[SmileyFace]

Thanks Koalafan

[L]

Well done sweety - well deserved