Anybody bombarded with memories that really hurt?
Just plain hurt?
Anyone want to share?
I remember how much it hurt to have my mother call me worthless.
That hurt.
It still does.
Anybody bombarded with memories that really hurt?
Just plain hurt?
Anyone want to share?
I remember how much it hurt to have my mother call me worthless.
That hurt.
It still does.
The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about
killer of conversations
There several that I think about all the time. I know one in particular shaped how I felt about myself at a young age, and it's why I often still have no self-esteem today. It just makes me wonder how some people can be so cruel. I don't want to hear the "kids will be kids" excuse. That's such bullshit. I knew right from wrong very early on, and so did the person I'm referring to. I don't want to get into it though, so that's basically all I have to say on the subject. I don't want to trigger my body issues. Summer does enough of that for me already.
I'm sorry your mother said that to you, Chanty.
I hope now that you're grown you realize how wrong she was. You're the last person who deserves to hear that from somebody.
Socially inept Koala
Too many
And yes it still hurts
The Awkward Conversationalist
When I was in sixth grade and a girl in my class told me to kill myself and I tried to. I stabbed myself with a kitchen knife and my mother found me 80% dead on the floor. I'm still fucked up from that. I have flashbacks
I was very triggered last night when, about nine years later, my mom told me I should just kill myself. What a thing to say, after she saved my life that time. I have a big issue with that memory from sixth grade and with the flashbacks I have because of it.
And any memory I have from being bullied- which has gone on basically my entire life- is a real shitty one.
Seeing my ex, Dominic, in the hospital after a suicide attempt is another one that comes to mind.
Actually, my life is full of bad memories. And that's why I have PTSD.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
Thank you guys for sharing. Yeah these things still hurt, huh?
The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about
I'm sorry people did that to you guys.
My coworker asked me about my family while we were talking yesterday. I told her I don't know what my older brother is up to because I don't really talk to him. She said, "Oh..." Like that was really weird.
So now I can't stop thinking of all the bad memories and feelings. Terror, anger, but mostly heartache. Sometimes I look back and wonder if it was really so bad, like maybe I just want to feel victimized or something. But then I have days like these where I really remember. Between that guy and my parents, it was constant and it hurt. I'm so glad I made it out.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
Sorry to hear you're struggling with this. It's no fun.QuietCalamity
I'm sorry people did that to you guys.
My coworker asked me about my family while we were talking yesterday. I told her I don't know what my older brother is up to because I don't really talk to him. She said, "Oh..." Like that was really weird.
So now I can't stop thinking of all the bad memories and feelings. Terror, anger, but mostly heartache. Sometimes I look back and wonder if it was really so bad, like maybe I just want to feel victimized or something. But then I have days like these where I really remember. Between that guy and my parents, it was constant and it hurt. I'm so glad I made it out.
The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about
Pickin' and Grinnin'!
It's so sad to me to hear you guys having to hurt thru crap like that. But to get over SA and also to keep building a better life, esteem has to start somewhere.
I see tho a pattern in all this. The sorta people being cruel pattern, sometimes in very disturbing ways.
You guys are not those ppl who who are cruel to others n' stuff. I know it can make you feel like yer [BEEP] n stuff but the truth is, these ppl who hurt you are the fucked up ones. I personally don't understand how cruel and or abusive ppl could ever really even be worth [BEEP] all until the day comes they realize the mistake and understand that hurting others is wrong.
Yeah it hurts a lot...but why think [BEEP] of yerself as a result?? THEY are the fucked up ones. Seriously! It also doesn't help that our rather insane society seems to force a lot on what THEY think we should all be and that furthur makes it hard for some to have esteem in themselves. I still think self esteem is the 1st step, so look at yerself and say: "Do I hurt people because I enjoy it?" "Do I try to be kind and friendly to others??"
If you're not those ppl who would hurt you so much, then you have to be doing something right, yeah?
Surely even that is a start??
If as well you fear these ppl hurting you then you're giving them power. What I found when I stopped being afraid of ppl or what they could do is
as SOON as you stand up and kick their ****ing asses for being piss poor examples of the human race, (because that they are)
it's amazing how they back off so easily. it's like you take your power back and the sad truth is it seems in this world ether u take it from them or they take it from you...
I'm not saying to become a confrontational ass, but don't let ppl mess with you that way.
We all count for something, no matter what anyone says, and our time is best spent enjoying life as we can....if one is afraid or stuck with low self esteem, then they can't enjoy this short life we have easily.
Skippy, I want to give you the biggest, squishyist hug in the world right now because what you said was so amazing!
I have memories that hurt too, I'd rather not talk about them though.
For me, it's not just anxiety that's the issue. I also have a diagnosed illness that makes meeting people a near impossiblity... and apparently in order to get better, I have to not only not fight back, but keep taking their crap or I'm in a load of trouble.It's so sad to me to hear you guys having to hurt thru crap like that. But to get over SA and also to keep building a better life, esteem has to start somewhere.
I see tho a pattern in all this. The sorta people being cruel pattern, sometimes in very disturbing ways.
You guys are not those ppl who who are cruel to others n' stuff. I know it can make you feel like yer [BEEP] n stuff but the truth is, these ppl who hurt you are the fucked up ones. I personally don't understand how cruel and or abusive ppl could ever really even be worth [BEEP] all until the day comes they realize the mistake and understand that hurting others is wrong.
Yeah it hurts a lot...but why think [BEEP] of yerself as a result?? THEY are the fucked up ones. Seriously! It also doesn't help that our rather insane society seems to force a lot on what THEY think we should all be and that furthur makes it hard for some to have esteem in themselves. I still think self esteem is the 1st step, so look at yerself and say: "Do I hurt people because I enjoy it?" "Do I try to be kind and friendly to others??"
If you're not those ppl who would hurt you so much, then you have to be doing something right, yeah?
Surely even that is a start??
If as well you fear these ppl hurting you then you're giving them power. What I found when I stopped being afraid of ppl or what they could do is
as SOON as you stand up and kick their ****ing asses for being piss poor examples of the human race, (because that they are)
it's amazing how they back off so easily. it's like you take your power back and the sad truth is it seems in this world ether u take it from them or they take it from you...
I'm not saying to become a confrontational ass, but don't let ppl mess with you that way.
We all count for something, no matter what anyone says, and our time is best spent enjoying life as we can....if one is afraid or stuck with low self esteem, then they can't enjoy this short life we have easily.
I like what you're saying overall and I really appreciate what you wrote, Skippy. My experience was different, though. Standing up for myself only made it worse, although I always fought back anyway cuz I'm feisty. But they never backed down. They always got angrier. For example, the day I laughed at my older brother in defiance of his scare tactics was the day he beat me up the worst.It's so sad to me to hear you guys having to hurt thru crap like that. But to get over SA and also to keep building a better life, esteem has to start somewhere.
I see tho a pattern in all this. The sorta people being cruel pattern, sometimes in very disturbing ways.
You guys are not those ppl who who are cruel to others n' stuff. I know it can make you feel like yer [BEEP] n stuff but the truth is, these ppl who hurt you are the fucked up ones. I personally don't understand how cruel and or abusive ppl could ever really even be worth [BEEP] all until the day comes they realize the mistake and understand that hurting others is wrong.
Yeah it hurts a lot...but why think [BEEP] of yerself as a result?? THEY are the fucked up ones. Seriously! It also doesn't help that our rather insane society seems to force a lot on what THEY think we should all be and that furthur makes it hard for some to have esteem in themselves. I still think self esteem is the 1st step, so look at yerself and say: "Do I hurt people because I enjoy it?" "Do I try to be kind and friendly to others??"
If you're not those ppl who would hurt you so much, then you have to be doing something right, yeah?
Surely even that is a start??
If as well you fear these ppl hurting you then you're giving them power. What I found when I stopped being afraid of ppl or what they could do is
as SOON as you stand up and kick their ****ing asses for being piss poor examples of the human race, (because that they are)
it's amazing how they back off so easily. it's like you take your power back and the sad truth is it seems in this world ether u take it from them or they take it from you...
I'm not saying to become a confrontational ass, but don't let ppl mess with you that way.
We all count for something, no matter what anyone says, and our time is best spent enjoying life as we can....if one is afraid or stuck with low self esteem, then they can't enjoy this short life we have easily.
My SA and low self-esteem does not come from any belief that they were right and it will not be solved by an epiphany. I have had others tell me that's how their SA healed, and that's awesome for them. But I have to entirely reprogram myself thought-by-thought.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
Skippy, I understand what you are saying, but execution is so very difficult. I honestly can say that my trust of people is very low.In my case I don't think my self esteem is as good as it should be, but it's also complicated by the fact that I am so very cautious of people and really don't let them close enough to hurt me, so while I don't have friends I don't really have enemies either.I have memories that hurt too, I'd rather not talk about them though.
I hear you guys about how we deal with people who have hurt us. It's really difficult to know how to deal with them because there is definitely a mistrust.
I'm like you merc................ I will forgive, but I am very cautious after that. I find that although I have friends, I keep them at an arm's distance to avoid getting hurt.
Then I get mad at myself for doing that because in essence I'm still giving my bullies and abusers power over me.
People can really [BEEP] up other people, huh?
The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about
Every few years or so I have a mass losing of friends because something earth-shattering in my life happened that is usually out of my control, or gets to a point where it is out of my control. This year it's my illness. Three years ago it was issues over finding a job and that my personality was slowly changing. I find it hard to forgive at times because the people who do me wrong don't have to live the life that I live. They usually live far happier lives after doing much worse to others than I could ever dream of doing.
I've had to convince myself that those who hurt me, will get their due. I won't ever know it, but I have to have faith that it will happen. I guess because it's out of my control. I can't seek revenge. So I just have to believe what they did will happen to them.
And I really also have to believe that they are miserable human beings because of their cold black heartless acts. The fact that you wouldn't dream of hurting people is because you're a good person. Those who seek to hurt others have got to be utterly miserable with themselves and the only way they can feel better about themselves is to put others down.
I just have to believe it. that's the only way I am able to even consider letting the hurt go.
The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about
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