Scared of losing control...

[Coolkid]

Does anyone else feel like this? Last night around 3:00 am I was just staring at my phone and anxiety hit me out of nowhere along with the depersonalization feeling like my body felt weird. Naturally like the hypochondriac I am I was looking at the Mdjunction forums but I wasnt anxious while reading anything. I basically think i thought myself into that feeling by thinking crazy things like "What if i become crazy and hurt people or myself, or what if i black out and do something stupid, or what if i really do have a horrible health problem and die soon." and while those thoughts were coming on the weird body feeling and anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks, it was like i had nowhere to run, I wanted to run around the house scared for my life and control and took me about 3 hours to calm down a bit. This wasn't a panic attack, it was more like constant anxiety and out of body feeling of not being in control of my brain and myself. I feel like my brain is starting to turn on me and do what it wants when it wants. Although august was going good for the most part and I was kind of able to keep my anxious and nervous feelings at bay, last night it hit me out of nowhere just when i thought i was beating it a bit. I dont want to lose control and go psycho, and I always hope i dont have a serious health problem that i dont know about that is making my brain this way, anyone ever have a common experience? Its almost like if you have smoked weed, and you feel the trip/high feeling coming on, and you dont want to be high anymore and dont like it so you freak out and it ruins your high and you have to just stay in one spot or walk around and calm yourself down for a few hours. Although i don't smoke but i have in the past and know what that feeling is like, and that feeling just hits me out of nowhere alot, the fear of the unknown and losing control of myself is consuming me.

[Chloe]

i've always worried about the anxiety taking over my life and preventing me from going out and speaking to people and doing the things that i love doing and being relaxed about doing them. unfortunately my panic attacks do impact on my work slightly and my relationships with people as i rarely go out (due to lack of invites or me turning them down because of school work) but i know that as long as i keep on pushing myself and watching how im feeling and remove myself from a situation before i panic im winning. because at least that way im not denying myself those experiences because i've lost control and let it impact my day to day life. the way i see it until you give in compleatly and never do something ever because you know that makes you panic or you deny yourself to try something because of what you think the outcome will be only then do you loose control and only then have you let it run your life. its you that stops it and lets it take control. at least thats my take on it compared with my panics not quite sure if you can apply that logic to your situation

[Chantellabella]

Hi Coolkid, and welcome to the community.

I used to worry that my "crazy" would take over one day and then I would be powerless to stop it. But what I didn't realize was that I was choosing to let the crazy take over. My core belief was that I was a powerless person and that things happened out of my control all the time.

Yes, the behavior of other people outside of me are not in my control, but we are in control of ourselves; we choose to keep control or lose it. In other words, when I would feel the shortness of breath, the hyperventilating, the racing thoughts, I would just let the fears and body symptoms take over. Was I in control of these body symptoms? No. They just happened to my body.

But there was a point in all that, where I was conscious of it happening. During that time, the trigger would be "I can't stop this." Then I would let it happen to the point of me almost getting fired from a job and EMS being called.

A healthier thought than "I can't stop this," is like Chloe said, "i know that as long as i keep on pushing myself and watching how im feeling and remove myself from a situation before i panic im winning."

Just a positive thought (I tell myself "I can do this") may actually lessen or even stop the body symptoms of hyperventilation.

So what I'm saying is that it takes some mental self talk and a belief that you CAN control this.

Is that a cure? Oh heck no! But it's a baby step toward getting some control over your body.

We all think we're going to lose it around here. That's part of anxiety. But we're all learning to empower ourselves. We're fighting the bullies, the genetics, the parents, the memories and the feelings and we are learning ways to take back our lives.

I wanted to add a link where Coffee lists a ton of ways to cope in case you need some suggestions. https://anxietyspace.com/forums/show...ing-mechanisms

[Wonderfulgirl]

That is one of my biggest fears that I am gonna freak out and lose control, but the worst that has happened is that I just broke out in tears. I always just try to talk myself down I tell myself this has been going on for years and you have never freaked out, sometimes it helps sometimes I just have to leave where I am and go home. A counselor once told me that I get all the weird symptoms that I do because I fight the anxiety she told me when I get weird sensations to just tell myself, okay this is the anxiety, I have had it before, it is not a stranger too me it can't hurt me. Stuff like that to talk yourself through it, but it is very scary for sure. I don't know if that will help you at all but I know I am willing to try anything to get through this.

[Socialhalitosis]

I know how you feel, on top of Anxiety I have dissociative identity disorder so not only do I have anxiety about getting anxiety I worry about zoning out, or seeing things and people around me thinking im nuts.

Many times I have had to leave my post at my job to go cry, or I have had to run out of a situation because I was freaking out.