Family/Person you're forced to see.

[Brandihere]

Does anyone else feel like there is one person who scares them and makes them panic whenever they see this person, or even hear about this person? Like my fiancees sister makes me anxious and scared and I feel like I'm going to vomit and pee my pants at the same time whenever I see her. Does this happen to anyone else? Shes not scary at all, shes sort of a stuck up snob and she rubs her opinions in her face but shes not like the hulk or anything so there's no real reason to feel this way. I see her during the holidays and the holidays are hard enough for me usually but adding her to the mix is like jumping into a pile of rusty nails. Even if I just see a Facebook post of hers I get that feeling in my stomach and I feel like I'm going to fall over. Any advice on how to handle a situation like this? Experiences?

[GunnyHighway]

I have a cousin that is absolutely amazing in every way possible. It's just insane to think of how much she does, and does well. Government awards, volunteer time like crazy, stunningly beautiful, smart, nice, etc. I always think to myself that my aunt couldn't have given birth to a better child. With all of that said I constantly feel weird and anxious around her. I have no achievements that stand even close to what she's done. I'd say I just feel inferior when she's around. Scared to mess up.

Alas, I have no advice. I just try to deal with it when she's around I guess, which isn't long most times thankfully.

[Chantellabella]

My ex-supervisor was scary. She was judgmental and was always looking for something to pin on me. She had this black and white thinking.............you either do it her way which is right or not do it her way which is wrong. I literally used to go around the building or up different steps to avoid making eye contact with her.

So yeah, I understand.

[Brandihere]

Thanks for the support, it's good to know I'm not crazy. I actually have to deal with her next week because of something happening in the family so I'm super nervous.
Gunnyhighway, I also feel like you said that somehow I am going to mess up when I'm around her. I think that because I'm so worried about messing up it actually causes me to mess up even more which doesn't help. I am really sorry about how you feel with your cousin. I'm here if you ever need anything.
Chantellabella- Maybe I'll try this out this week, just avoid her. Maybe leave the room, or talk to someone else so I don't have to talk to her. Thank you

[merc]

This has to be my biggest social anxiety issue dealing with "Super People" or very authoritarian types. They make me shrivel up and want to run and hide from them. I know it is my self esteem issues that I have to work on and that no one is perfect....amd yes, with these sorts I avoid eye contact. I will walk the long way round to avoid them. I will stand nervously around them with a blank mind and nothing to say, Awkward silence rules the day.

I know I offend these people a whole lot and they usually have a whole pile of friends to laugh at me with and discuss how odd I am and how I don't like them. Recently, a HR person, kind of stated out loud to me and everyone with in ear shot about how "I don't like him because I never speak to him." I didn't know what to do....I didn't know what to say so I kept quiet and ignored him, like I didn't hear him and as calmly as possible I walked to my locker and gathered my things and left without acknowledging him or what he said.

Was this really bad? How would you have handled this? I thought he was very rude so I was a little annoyed. Was he trying to be nice or provoke me into a fight? I'm so bad at understanding what people want from me and this had me stumped and I don't see this person much as he works different shifts and I firmly believe that true friendships take time to evolve and I hate fake gushing.

Yet, occasionally I do meet the odd person here and there that for some reason I hit it off with.

[merc]

On another note, I've been told that I intimidate some people because I tend to be blank faced and quiet. Could this person actually be just very shy and reluctant to become involved with others?

[Brandihere]

Merc, wow I feel bad that this person is treating you this way! Not liking someone because they don't talk to you is a terrible reason for not liking someone! I hate to sound negative but I feel like he might have said this just to make you angry. Maybe pull him aside (if you can! I know it is an awfully hard this to do and even as I give you this advice I would not be able to do it myself) but if you can just say you know I didn't mean to offend you by not talking to you please don't take it the wrong way. You don't have to explain that you feel uncomfortable around him if you don't want to but maybe just letting him know it wasn't intentional might help you out a bit!

[merc]

I forgot about this. Yes, I think he was trying to provoke me? It may be one of the reasons I chose to not react. In any case I don't think it's worth discussing with him.

[sanspants]

I forgot about this. Yes, I think he was trying to provoke me? It may be one of the reasons I chose to not react. In any case I don't think it's worth discussing with him.

I agree that he was trying to provoke you. It sounds like he was setting you up to be humiliated, which is horrible. Really the only way you could have turned the tables on him would have been to smile and act like everything was fine. Which isn't exactly the natural reaction to a situation like that, IMO. Usually I do react; I'll say, "I heard you Steph," in a friendly tone, when my co-worker does this. I don't think there's any particular "right way" to deal with it, though.

I liked your point about dealing with Super People lol. I can't stand them either. The whole mentality of walking around preening, making quick-witted small-talk and flashing perfect teeth makes me want to barf. I realize a lot of those people are just genuinely outgoing and expansive, and that's cool, but I can't be near them. For me the issue is that I don't communicate like they do, nor do react to them (by jumping up and smiling back, like everyone else does) when they enter the room, so I feel like I'm bound to make an awkward spectacle of myself if they try to engage me in their "HEY BRO" backslapping.